Champions! Another Sale? And Desert ‘Holic Discs
Aug 29th, 2011 by 'holic
I’m grabbing any reason for a bit of cheer today, and there is none better than reading reports of Arsenal Ladies lifting the FA Womens Super League title with a 3-1 win against Liverpool yesterday.
The 2011 Womens FA Cup Winners completed another double with a pair of goals from Rachel Yankey and a second-half penalty from Kim Little.
The lifting of the inaugural Super league adds to the twelve Premier League championships won By Arsenal and means we have now finished top of the pile eight times in a row.
Congratulations to Laura Harvey and her team on another astonishing season of success.
Another Left Back Departing
So in the wake of the debacle at Old Trafford we are set to offload another left-back. Now I wish Armand Traore every success in his career, and cannot help but think it is in his and the club’s best interest that he take the opportunity to develop elsewhere.
That leaves us with the injury-prone and still relatively inexperienced Keiran Gibbs as the only recognised left-back in the squad. If the defeat in Manchester has persuaded the club not to attempt to embark on a season without a top quality addition in that position then an ill-wind may yet have blown some good.
Has anybody spotted Leighton Baines pulling into the driveway at Shenley today?
Old Skool Desert ‘Holic Discs
I’m grateful to The Soul Merchant, also known to his mates as Gunner Rob, for dedicating his entire show to my choice of choons on Jazz Funk Soul Radio between 8pm and 10pm (UK time) tonight. Given that Desert Island Discs invitees generally get eight tracks to select I thought picking a couple of dozen would be a doddle, particularly as I couldn’t pick my favourite Bowie, Lizzy, Son of Dave, Clash, Toots Hibbert, Rotten, or Dury tracks.. Two full evenings later I realised it wasn’t.
Those who already listen to Rob’s regular Monday night slot will know a great deal about some of my favourite artists in the genre. Suffice it to say there will be just one track each from the likes of James Brown, Gil Scott-Heron, Johnny Guitar Watson, Roberta Flack, Stevie Wonder, Al Green, The Isley Brothers, and Gladys Knight. So if that sounds like the sort of stuff you could listen to for a couple of hours then get yourself along to www.jfsr.co.uk at eight and click on the ‘listen’ button.
If you cannot make it look out for a link to the download of the show on my Twitter account later.
Cheers ‘holics.
1,068 Responses to “Champions! Another Sale? And Desert ‘Holic Discs”
First?
Was going to write a long post about yesterday’s result, performance, wider problems and brilliant away support.
Then I remembered a song which sums yesterday up.
NSFW
I’m at work and not a twitter but want to listen. How to?? Can you stick a link on here?
Yes, pleased to see Arsene is already heeding BtM’s singular request for a departure from Saturday’s team. Traore was never going to make it unfortunately. Highly amusing to see some recommending virtually the entire squad go.
Now, get back to the grandkids, ‘holic.
Will do BtM. Either after the show tonight, or in the morning, I will post the link to download it in these drinks.
Lovely post ‘holic.
And Herbie – what a great chooooon… π
And for any other away supporters there yesterday, a bit of good news from the club:
http://www.arsenal.com/news/news-archive/arsenal-thanks
Herbie that summed up my day perfectly.
After watching my local team lose in Kobe City 4-0 in a Kansai derby and then watching the Arsenal lose at midnight, not being able to sleep, staring at the computer with red eyes all day, then going to football practice with Scum United and LWCs fans I think I absolutely love this song.
I also discovered the one thing worse than scorn and ridicule from Scum fans……pity.
Traore out, good riddance I say. For years he hasn’t done the business. Waiting and hoping with baited breath for something uplifting to come from the board…In the meantime, good on the Arsenal Ladies! Always good to get one over the Scousers. Our girls are better looking too.
Bitter gin for you holic and other gooners in the bar. We’re all hurting, let’s keep our head on and see what happens.
Up the Arsenal
@Herbie Love Kevin Bloody Wilson great choice.
Wenger could listen to DILIGAF and the performance could be replayed to Super Mega Fugley
I think this means Vermaelen moves to LB, if he needs to, probably as first choice.
We then buy a new CB.
We need everyone to shout and scream to bring back David Dean NOW
Come on then lads. Let’s turn our attention to thoughts of Emma Byrne.
Plenty of smoochies on the show tonight by the way π
You can’t even spell the pillock’s name Simon. Anybody who thinks he doesn’t share in the shame of yesterday is incapable of thought. Who do you suppose brought Stan and Usmanov to our door?
Still hurting from the 8-2 loss.
So are we all maestro. Trying to deflect now. All of this webwarfare is achieving nothing.
48 hours, Arsenal. 48 hours.
We only need to add 6 or 7.
Holic,
Like the idea of Verminator moving to left back but would prefer someone at Arsenal to tell us fans the real truth. Either we have no money and are so up to our eyes in debt or someone tell Arsene Wenger we need a left back (Baines) we need a centre back (Cahill, Dann, Jags or Mertsakekr or anybody so as Djourou is never a first choice), then a solid defensive midfield player. (Parker will do me, wpould have liked Nolan but there you are. Last of all, a recognised striker, V Persie was disappointing yesterday and if he is off song, there is nobody else.
If we do not get any players before the deadline, then our season will be sunk before it has started because of so many holes in the squad. Dare I say it but this is the worst bunch of misfits when Vermaellen is not in the team. There is no belief no get up and go, no guts, no glory and I am afraid the manager will walk if not pushed. I cannot believe a board with so many millions will do tghis to a great club like ours. If this is the shape of things to come, then heaven help us. Well done to the Ladies by the way, a team performance. Maybe that’s it pay the men what the women get paid, make them earn their wages instead of poncing around the pitc h pretending!
Aaah. a welcome distraction.
Well done ladies.
I’ll have a pint of lager please.
Spot on about Djourou, N for S. I never want to see him in an Arsenal shirt again. He is hopeless. He is so often out of position and the ball/opponent goes past him like he is not there. He stitched Jenkinson up like a kipper and got him sent off.
Good news about Traore, that means we are now certain to buy a good LB.
Ermm….. hopefully..
Great job, ladies. Keep doing Arsenal proud. It’s quite an impressive run they’re on. If I remember correctly, one of those titles came without dropping a single point.
TABS from the end of last post – great drink! Have one on me, and whatever Wolfie fancies.
Got to go check FFL scores. Maybe there’s some good news in there!
Maybe it’s been 4 us the constructive Arse fans to play the – maybe mythological – d dein role and persuade arsene/the club to take more care of the here and not be obsessed by a future where it all falls into place financially and otherwise ps there may be no south American boy genius playmakers waiting to b plucked from obscurity but buy that c.h, l.b,dm, cf if there’s time -the seasons still young (that word again!) and we’re in the cl and we’re not sp@rs
Ureds’
Ah some soothing news . Well done Holic .
Aj @17 – forgive the intrusion , but are you son of Kerry ? Apologies if not .
Cheers Dr C .
Off to do the same . Pint ?
There are far more decent Centre Backs than Left Backs and seeing as we already the no.3 Left Back in the world i think go with him and have Kieran Gibbs as cover. Unfortunately for Gibbs he had his chance to make left back his own and his fitness has failed him.
The positive about this that we must be signing 2 Centre Backs. I think Cahill and Alex would make a great partnership, although a little slow, but rumour has it that Lansbury is leaving today for Blackburn.
If we do go for the likes of Alex, Cahill, Samba, Mertesacker, Dann none of them have a turn of pace, so you can expect us to stop playing such a high line of defence, which will be a good thing and would mean only having a need for one deep lying midfielder.
For me Koscielny should be the back up Full back to Vermaelen and Sagna with Jenkinson and Gibbs only coming in after that. Koscielny could also be the back up centre back to the 2 new centre backs. With Djourou and Miquel only coming after that.
Squillaci can go to hell as far as i am concerned, i cannot believe he is still at the club.
Back 4: Sagna Cahill Alex Vermaelen
(on the bench) Koscielny
back up Jenkinson Djourou Miquel Gibbs
He could even be thinking that with the emergence of Frimpong, that Song will moved permanently into the back 4. In which case it would free up another midfield place. I would be going for 3, M’Vila, Lucho and Parker or Diarra before they join………them,
Midfield Diarra or Parker, M’Vila and Wilshire
back up Song, Lucho, Diaby
back up Frimpong, Lansbury, Ramsey
Rosicky can go to Wolfsburg
Up front
Chamakh, Bendtner and Arshavin all need to go.
I would go for Sow, Johnson and Hazard leaving us with
Van Persie, Sow and Park for the centre forward role
Walcott, Gervinho, Johnson and Hazard would compete for the wing roles with Chamberlain and Ryo gaining experience in the rserves and Carling Cup
Wahay! The Rollers – gain points on ATG, Lars and Ollie!
Slip back into my clutches boys….!!
The board of directors remain silent about just where the team and club are going this season….
Hmm , The Speedo Massive , after having had an excellent Saturday suffered badly on Sunday . Expect to hear more from Wolfie in the coming days . π
@bc quite a shopping list there bud. Unfortunately I fear park will be your added forward and after that I’m not sure any more players will sign. As for signing the likes of hazard, have you ever plaited fog? No o didn’t think so. Quick transfer re-cap, cb no, dm no, lb no but we bought a rb, we also bought two wingers and a striker who can’t even play for us due to a lack of work permit, oh yeah we also got ryo his work permit. That’s brilliant we’ve managed to strengthen in almost every area but the ones we REALLY needed to and spent a fortune and most of the transfer window doing it. On a lighter note a MASSIVE WELL DONE to the ladies, and long may they continue to fill the trophy cabinet.I’m sorry about the doom but I can’t get rid of this cloud!
Is Almunia still at the club?
I’m seriously concerned by The Rollers.
Dr C thought he was being clever by including potential signees Jageilka and Baines, but now IF they do sign, then surely the Rollers will be even weaker??!!
I think the first ice cold beer of the day is needed. 32 here today…
Whistler, the club website lists him as our #1. Maybe he can also play at LB.
Happy trails, Traore. And please, let’s make that permanent.
For all the talk of moving Vermaelen to left back, let’s not forget how valuable a centre half he is. Until Frimpong’s second yellow, he was inside Andy Carroll’s kit in a way I’ve never seen. I don’t know that Cahill or Alex could pull that off in such a dominating fashion, and if Arsenal are going to compete, it’ll take that kind of display in the middle.
Dear Arsene/Board: If the negotiating difference between Djourou starting and Cahill starting at centre half is a mere 2M pounds (12M bid v. 10M bid), spend the extra damn 2M pounds. This is not a time for penny-pinching. You’ve got at least 80M at your disposal, and there’s almost no way you’ll use it all by end of business Weds.
Have we bought a defender yet?
*sigh*
Another beer, please.
Emma Byrne interview, ‘holic? You should be offered that :p
I hear Tremoulinas isn’t keen on extending his contract at Bordeaux.
Yes he’s got two years left, and I can hear the moaning from here, but failing Baines, I wouldn’t be too disappointed with a cheeky bid there.
F*ck it. Just please pull your fingers out and DO something!!!
#laughingstock#
Actually…. does the Happy Train have laughing stock??
I can feel an internet ban coming on. The nothingness is hurting my head.
Tremoulinas would be a great signing for us Ollie, but too experienced I’ll wager π
Don’t think I could do an Emma interview. A drooling old man is never a pretty sight…
The HT is on a two week magical mystery tour, Catalan.
I’m sure the directors will be in with some more details before too long π
Well done Dr C
Congrats to The Arsenal Ladies too!
Emmas a proper cutie and in fact would be a Better back up To he who I carnt pronounce or spell than the other to goal tenders!
Fair play Arsenal offering free tickets is the least they could do but at least it shows someone at the Club still gives a fuck my money would be on that being a Friar idea,
Tick Tock 48hrs to go – Great film that π
It seems symbolic to give the fans there money back having been thrashed by 8 goals I wonder how generousness they would be if it had been a home game.
I think our meeting in a few weeks will be cathartic for one side and a momentous kick in the balls for the other.
COYS! Holic 1001 best post ever!!
Cus, If your lot refunded you for all the games they were shit that would bankrupt ’em π
Hello holics,
Is it safe yet?
Clive from previous drinks – Nice post, cheered me up no end π
There is a little over 48 hours until the close of the transfer window.
We need a new LB, at least 1 CB, a DM, an AM and a striker; that’s 4-5 players, not 3 as AW claims.
Anyone else a little anxious?
This may seem a little leftfield, but does anyone know anything about contract law? I renewed my season ticket (and agreed to a 6.5% increase) on the understanding that the team representing AFC for this season would be as good as if not better than the one last season. As the club has dispensed with a lot of the deadweight, got Cesc and Nasri off the payroll and pocketed Β£60 million to boot, why are having to pay so much to support a significantly poorer team. Can I have a partial refund on my season ticket??
I was feeling a bit masochistic yesterday, hoping that the 8-2 thrashing would have a cathartic effect. Today my mood has nosedived and I am feeling pissed off and litiginous!!
Congratulations to Arsenal Ladies. I note that their team is stuffed full of top, experienced internationals as well as some up and coming young talent. Might there be some connection between that and their sustained success?
Gedo:
@31 Docciavelli, yes, yes and yes. All three statements are spot on. Furthermore, we need to keep our best defender (Verm) at the position that he is best and stop playing championship manager on the back of the napkin. Perhaps in a pinch, but for a whole season? Absolute madness.
Here’s a layup….sign a right or left back and have Sagna move around instead of Verm. It doesn’t matter which side this guy plays on – he’s a stud. He’s hooked-up with Theo on the right plenty of times and just did it again vs. Udinese.
Re: Cusop, If I were you I would start covering up the jewels now, but misery indeed loves company so have one on me. π
8 ball, how dare you come in here after picking the thatched one again this week.
What?
Oh, so I did π
Mid Table Mediocrity…the holic league is fixed…
Sorry Noel. In all seriousness had I remembered this week I would have taken the captaincy off him.
It’s an ill wind… π
Benayoun?! WTF?!?!?!?
That is one of the most infuriating rumors I’ve ever heard!
We need top players not average (at best!).
Jez @ 43 re contract law.
2 words – Caveat Emptor. It’s latin and means “you’re fucked”.
Catalan at 35 and Holic at 37 –
The Happy Train has had to go in for some emergency repairs following some vandals leaving a large reputation on the line somewhere near Manchester – normal service could be resumed by midnight on Wednesday I’m told.
I’ve everything crossed for the next two days – benayonn is not the stellar signing we require – we certainly need CB as Kos and JD are an accident waiting to happe….no wait it already has. can we go back to highbury please
Re: ‘holic. I fear the thatched one is about the only thing keeping me out of the basement of the league, and if Catalan could figure out the same thing I don’t think the Rollers would be quite so low as they are. If there is any virtual way to boo the captain off the pitch after he has scored a hat trick, I most assuredly will, while maintaining the same result of course. π
Congratulations to the Ladies. They won the quadruple a few years ago and I think Joshua is right, they did win the title that year without dropping any points at all. They have lost some of their stars to the US and other clubs since then but have continued to be a major force. The women’s league is far more competitive these days and so it is a fantastic achievement for the Ladies and of course their manager Laura Harvey.
Idea for a signing: Daniele De Rossi
OK lads I am not one for gloating especially when we definitely fucked up big time too!
But this is for you!! Arsenal Bloody Arsenal
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u0IigxzEADo
Holic!! I may be in Worcester in a week, if you need a Spud beer I can still afford it!!
LOL!
Blimey seems someone may have located the Cheque Book the smoke signals not our sort Catalan π Are saying we’ve had a bid accepted for Fenerbaches left back Santos but more excitingly we’ve had a big bid rejected for Mario Gotze If we sign him and a couple of others I’m back on the happy train when it’s back on the Tracks,
Gotze is a serious serious Talent, Him Cahill Santos mvilla and Kaka on loan and all will be forgiven lol
Anyone else watching Barca this evening? Cesc already scored and is having a field day linking with Messi.
Even though it seems Light years away I’m so proud we beat them last season!
the real Matt @yesterday (145 i think) – really good post Matt.
Snir – thanks for yesterday’s comments. Bit messy in here last night.
Clive/The Sweeper – great post in the last drinks.
Zico – I find myself today feeling very shaken and disorientated. Not sure quite what happened yesterday but –
i – was there a derailment ?
ii – will I be receiving a refund for the trip ?
Djourou had a rough game.
Hearthrob Danielle Carter is an Arsenal Lady:
http://www.arsenal.com/ladies/players/danielle-carter
Perhaps Arsenal will not refund all the men’s season tickets, but will work out a deal whereby subscribers may trade for an equal amount of season tickets for the ladies’ games next season?
Cusop,
Edin Dzeko’s house was burgled yesterday, the police want to know where suspect Michael Dawson was between the hours of 1pm-3.30pm!
Trev @ 59, not an actual derailment, but a sudden lurch off the tracks, the effects of which were totally dependent on the deployment of each individual’s bubble wrap suit. Wolfgang Smallballs for example is rumoured to be very badly bruised, because despite staff imploring him to “suit up” he insisted in parading solely in his new anniversary speedos, (pink with black polka dots).
If you can remember anything at all about the journey, it means that you did not avail yourself of the free visit to the Medicine Cabinet, which was underwritten by DL Management. As for a refund, well, Dr Feelgood has an allergy to that type of thing. π
Ah, 8ball @53. I may go down, young man, but I shall still have my pride.
Your soul, however, has been sold for 30 pieces…. an altogether darker place awaits you when you shuffle off….. π
My strike force of RVP and Gervinho is going to run riot, just you wait and see…..
Chippy … can you send whatever links you have for those rumours? I need hope, even if it is a forlorn hope!
Do you think there will be a promotion for the first to breach the enemy’s walls?
Simon @9 – if David Dein had had his way, we would now be sharing Wembley. Big club ??
The longer this transfer paralysis goes on, the more I’m convinced it is the board and not AW causing the problem.
AW said some weeks ago that if Cesc and Nasri were both to leave, then you could no longer say you had ambition.
That does not sound like a man talking to himself to me.
It is true that it his job to have replacements lined up in the event that they would leave.
Probably he did – but again, I think, the board have blocked the expenditure. We all know the Juan Mata story by now. That would have been a world cup winner in as a replacement for one of them. And I don’t think the rumours would have persisted as long as they did, if there was nothing in the story.
Other targets were pinched at the last moment by Inter and the newly rich Malaga.
Wenger’s tortured dances on the touchline do not suggest to me, a man who doesn’t care about winning. He said at the end of last season that he recognised the weaknesses and wanted to address them early.
The signs are that he tried to do that, but our deals have been hijacked. How many more do we not know about ?
Some of his actions are frustrating and some tactical decisions border at times on the bizarre. But some of his football has been the best we have ever seen.
Arseblog today sums up my darker thoughts, just as ‘Holic and BtM yesterday summed up what I would prefer to be the case.
It is currently a mess. No question. But I can’t think it is all down to Arsene Wenger. The Board, to a man, stay as silent as Stan, and insult us by doing so. What are they afraid to say ?
I hope these are reasoned thoughts and not the sycophantic wafflings of an “AKB senile old prick” as I was described in here last night.
Bad as the last 30 hours have been, the thing that, strangely, stays strongest in my mind, is the fantastic response of our away support.
That’s what we’re supposed to be about, isn’t it ? π
Catalan @64 – you feel free to go down whenever you like. That is not a personal invitation, you will understand. π
@ Geoff 58
Yeah, we should have signed Messi π
Trev, a drink for you, sir.
To health and happiness. If Arsenal help bring you that happiness, then all the better.
Anyone else care to join?
8ball..I’ll even buy you a drink (booooooooo!)
Trev
I had a certain feeling that that sentence would be wilfully misinterpreted. My money was on Wolfie, but well in (ooer).
Not going anywhere for a while – I’m in Barcelona, management in Tarragona. Sitting outside (28c) with a book, a bottle and a virtual bar.
Happy days (best England captain we never had!!)
Hi holics.
Can you please explain to me how the income from the away ticket sales goes??
I know that in Israel the income goes to the home team from both away fans and home fans of course.
That’s why I was wondering how can they refund the money if United are the ones who earned the income…
Unless it’s different…
zico @63 –
on reflection, I’m sure it was the sight of Smallballs in his pink and black orchestra huggers that caused my disorientation.
This was a trauma to which I should never have been subjected, and I do hold your staff entirely responsible, although to in any way refer to your staff as entirely responsible is itsself a contradiction in terms.
I will be expecting a vastly improved journey on our next outing, with all incapable staff suitably removed. π
Trev @ 66 – great post, I’m with you.
The problem HAS to be with the Board – there is no other rational explanation for a summer of absolute nonsense. Arsene doesn’t help the situation with some of his soundbites, mind you.
this is all reminiscent of george graham’s last days – the equivalents of chris kiwomya and glenn helder will soon be arriving. i’ve been wanting wenger to leave for 18 months now and have been slagged off on various sites less gentlemanly than this one for “come back david dein” posts for 2 or 3 years, but now I think that this trying and failing for trophies should stop. for the first time in 35 years we have the prospect of a relegation battle, and I’m all for it – and it’s so easy! Win half of your home games and sneak the odd away game with a smash and grab and you have a good chance of staying up! OK on the last 13 games we’d be going down but I am sure we will pick up and 15th is not beyond us. But we need some proper lads in the trenches, I’d say we currently have 5 – szcz, TV, sagna, song (sort of), and super jack. rvp’s spirit is willing but he would twist his ankle climbing out of the trench for the assault. Come on you reds!
@ Trev 66
Broadly, yes, I agree. But two things:
1) Was the tactical inefficiency on display yesterday the fault of the board?
2) To quote AW post match interview, “What is there to fix?”
Can he be serious?
The second one, for me, is the hardest part to shrug off. A humiliating defeat needs fixing, surely?
Anyone else think that there will be demonstrations at the Grove Thursday morning when the window has closed, if said signings are non apparent?
Trev @ 72,
If you remove the incapable staff from the HT then that just leaves the Swedish barmaids – I can see where you’re going with that……
Mark the Spark – I did say some of his tactical decisions etc..etc…
As zico said too, some of his soundbites are unhelpful ,but what is he going to say minutes after a total dismantling ?
Not making excuses, just saying . . . .
zico –
well played mate. lifting the spirits again. So many good laughs at your humour over the summer. π
Chippy – don’t worry re the rumours. Just turned in Twitter.
Disturbingly I have just encountered the definitions of “Goatse” and “wolfbagging”.
Think I need a drink.
Snir @ 71 –
as one of the two officially appointed medical staff on the HT MkII, I have been worried for some time now, about your capacity to absorb any more stressful or traumatic events.
Please do not worry yourself over matters regarding refunds for the latest trip.
I will redirect your enquiry, as a matter of courtesy, to Dr Feelgood, who as chairman of DLL Holdings will, I’m sure, pass on to you such advice as he feels appropriate.
In the meantime, Snir, help yourself to an extravagant dose of whatever takes your fancy in the CMC.
Finally, please remember that things could be worse. We will eventually get out of this mess, but you could be Cusop. π
Snir, As the second quack (God help you all), I concur.
I thought I had given Nurse Wolfie strict instructions to keep you medicated until after the transfer window had passed? Where the devil is she?
NURSE…..!!!
Cheers Trev,
Can’t remember a summer as agonising as this one. Laughter being the best medicine (apart from the stuff that TS and tabs mix up) seemed the way to get through it.
Interesting and important couple of days coming up.
PS Snir –
As well as a trip to the CMC, I strongly recommend that you wear a blindfold at all times, until further notice, to avoid the possibility of sighting the hopelessly derranged Smallballs in his pink and black swimwear.
This would be an occurence which, I fear, could tip you over the edge.
;(
Big Ears : Well , in an astonishing weekend of Fantasy Football , I think John Motson has Wolfgang Smallballs , dynamic young manager of The Speedo Massive , with him . John ….
Mottie : Yes indeed Big Ears , I’m here at Craven Cottaging and have managed to secure the first interview with Wolfgang Smallballs , on what has been a tremendously challenging day . Good Evening Wolfgang …
Wolfie : Good Evening .
Mottie : A difficult weekend Wolfie …
Wolfie : Wolfgang please or Mr Smallballs .
Mottie : Err .. sorry , Wolfgang , a difficult weekend , take us through it …
Wolfie : Yes , of course , a tough day , but overall I am satisfied . On saturday , we played on a level playing field , and of course we overtake Diab’holical , and tightened the gap on Numpties . It was always my aim to make the gap as tight as possible .
Mottie : Yes , and several good performances throughout the side . I believe your centre forward is Bent and…
Wolfie : As are all my players .
Mottie : Err … right , well moving on , your goalkeeper Howard saved a penalty
Wolfie : I expected it . He is very good , one on one , especially when someone is in his box , and wants to bang one in .
Mottie : But then some controversy . I believe Howard then raised his shirt over his head in celebration
Wolfie : No controversy , all my players are well practiced in the art of shirt-lifting .
Mottie : But didn’t he reveal a message ?
Wolfie : Yes .
Mottie : So what was it ?
Wolfie : It was a small poem to my greatness , but it is personal .
Mottie : I think the viewers have a right to know …
Wolfie : It said ” I’m just a goalie , but I love Wolfie’s holey”
Mottie : Right , you do seem to have a tremendous team bonding going on ?
Wolfie : I am very hands on .
Mottie : And then more controversy , another missed penalty , but because Howard didn’t actually save it , no points for the team …
Wolfie : An absolutely scandalous decision . We fight against many things .
Mottie : So second on saturday night , but then a sunday from hell .
Wolfie : I do not want to talk about it . I do not have to tell you anything .
Mottie : But I must press you , did your Arse boys let you down ?
Wolfie : Well , first of all I must say that normally I don’t mind being pressed , but absolutely no . Van Persie scored, Walcott scored , but we fight against teams that make that disgusting potato-head their captain and bench their Arse boys . I hope they sleep at night .
Mottie : Will you reconsider your no Mancs , Spuds , Chavs Mugsmashers or Stokies rule ?
Wolfie : 100% no . We have a philosophy .
Mottie : Confidence shaken ? Do you still believe you are the best Fantasy manager out there ?
Wolfie : I do not know if I am the best , but I am in the top one .
Mottie : Well there you have it . Thank you Wolfgang . Back to you in the studio Big Ears .
Mottie : Right Wolfgang , we’re off air . Can I take you for a drink now ?
Wolfie : Not unless you ditch the sheepskin , and wear a Barry Davies mask .
Mottie : π
π
Tabs. Another drink for you, and a packet of fags for Wolfie.
Well said Trev, well said! Who’s buying? Alright i will get the first one in…seeing as the world and his neighbours dog are being linked with us at the moment my question is who of our past legends would you sign to get us out of this mire(i say mire because according to some our season is over after 3 games and all we have now is the slim hope of avoiding the drop – insert rolling eyes smiley yokeamajig here ) mine is a rather obvious one but I’d stump up the cash for Mr Adams, a warrior who would have been the perfect foil for TV and the necessary driving force that is needed.
Tabs – utterly priceless π
Massive π tabs
I can see that you’re spending your time as fruitfully as ever.
Dr C – heh π I’m sure Wolfie will look kindly on your generosity .
Dr C , Dr Z and Trev – great stuff earlier in the drinks .
And to be serious for a mo , Trev@66 , great post , agree with every word .
Snowy and Dr Z – cheers .
Ill get em in π
CBW…. along the same lines as you, but if I couldn’t have Mr Arsenal, then Keown – to scare the shit out of teammates and opposition alike. No problem with communications!
Quite why he is not involved in coaching at Arsenal is a mystery to me.
Tabs/Wolfie/Trev/Bt8b/etc
thnks for your kind words re my 1896 post in the last drinks.
I never see the point in wallowing in misery after a poor performance.
Even one as bad as Sunday.
We sometimes have to remind ourselves it is only a Game.
We have had some fantastic/wonderful/uplifting times with the Arse,and to me they far outweigh the crap times.
So my philosophy is to try and see the funny side,most of the time anyway.
Hence 1896.
And just to end with another useless piece of trivia from that year,
A man named Walter Read became the first man in Britain to receive a speeding fine whilst driving a Car.
He was travelling at 8 mph when the speed limit was 2mph.!!
cheers
The Sweeper.
CBW – PV4 for me .
Heh Clive π
C G re:keown its a mystery to me too, even when doing punditry on tv you can just see it in him how much he would love to be back here and how much of a difference he would make. TABS i would have said PV4 but had to discount him over the whole nasri tapping up incident, that’s gonna take at least a week to get over!
Heh Clive, Walter read still would have overtaken denilson trying to track back π
Download from Gooner Rob’s show on JFSR tonight.
http://www.zshare.net/download/942454376778a107/
Go for it if you are curious about that old skool stuff ‘holic grew up on.
Quite frankly amazes. Three games in and we are a proper mess. Very few seem to see it. At our absolute best we play for 4th. I am quite frankly amazed how it has come to this.
I want my Arsenal back…..
Cent….
Ha right behind your moral stand there tabs( no innuendos please). Poor old Motty will need therapy soon..
Give it 48 hours before I join you in that sentiment, Steve. Hearing some surprising stuff. Uplifted. Maybe that is the intention?
Perhaps Steve T, perhaps but i fail to see what can be done at half eleven on a Monday night from a virtual barstool π pull up a stool and have a drink of your choice on me, perhaps a late night raid on the CMC might be permitted?
Steve T – who do you think doesn’t see it? Would have to be a blind man in mittens not to see it.
Have you finished your hols? Welcome back, if so.
Cheers for the download, holic, Soundtrack for work tomorrow….
Dr C will concoct anything your heart desires from the CMC, Steve T. Other than a decent left back, Centre Half and stellar centre forward.
Wolfie @ 84
Top stuff again.
I am assuming the Brigadier circa 1896 was your Great Grandfather.?
Setting the standard for those that followed.??
The Brigadier would be mighty proud.
I take it that actually makes you WSB the 6th.??
Cheers
The Sweeper
You could be a Spud @ 97.
I could think of a few others as welll mate.!!
Yes indeed Clive , the Brigadier’s loin cloth was of course the forerunner of Wolfie’s Speedoes . The present Wolfgang Smallballs the VI owes everything to his great grandfather π
Some damn fine fellas up at this time of night. Is nobody working tomorrow? π
Hello Holic , I’m waiting for our new signings .
So we’re buying Santos ? I know we’re in crisis , but buying a whole Brazilian club represents a major overhaul . Will we still play at the Ems ? π
Heh!. Let’s hope so, now I have that season ticket TaBS. Can’t afford the air fare every fortnight…
Me too , ‘Holic , me too π
Heh TABS, anyone ever heard of this santos character? Does he have south American connections which could benefit the CMC logistical network and allow us a 6.5 percent reduction in running costs? Perhaps that’s the plan to appease the supporters π im all for it!
Heh CBW π , we need all the medicine we can lay our hands on right now .
Good evening one & all,
Now back from a very enjoyable week away with Management and kids. What a week to choose to be away from it all. I’ll just put it down to good planning….
(TGL) Massive thanks to all those (you know who you are) for keeping me updated with events via text which was my only means of comms over the past week.
I’ve had a quick catch-up with Edwin and he asures me that no Class One Events have been experienced. Although a little worse for wear, the HT Mk II carries on regardless.
Needless to say, the final day of my hols was somewhat tainted watching ‘that match’ in a crappy bar surrounded by pissed up ‘dirty’ Mancs trying to give me all kinds of advice about how our club could be great again, etc., etc. even though most of them hadn’t been near the Old Toilet for years and hadn’t a clue about football in general. When one of the f*ckers wanted to talk to me about the sale of ‘Naseer’ it helped me laugh, which was far better than the altrernative I was considering at the time…. At least I managed two big cheers when Theo nutmegged De-Gay or whatever his f*cking name is and when Robin ripped the roof of the net after we had already conceeded six. Serves me right I s’pose for leaving my family for an hour and a half on a rare and precious holiday.
My heart goes out to ‘The Top Gooner’ hwo took his 7 year old up to The Old Toilet for his first match. What a bummer. Trust he remains a Gooner like his old man and hope to see you at a game again soon.
The continued good humour and sense (from most) above is really great to see especially considering the on-going circumstances.
Tabs @ #84, another ‘super-quality’ bravo post above. Absolutely f’in brilliant! π
Clive and Trev, great sentiments, equally great perspective.
Zico, suggest a quick DLL exchange/meeting of some sort soon as soon as Dr.F and WS are available π
Cheers all and a round from me on Lars’ tab please as he suns himself on a Mediterranean holiday, the lucky soul.
Amen to that, Brother TaBS π
Glad the regulars are around to moan with. Who’s drinking tequila? Might as well get the drinks in as the (48) hours pass!
Boys.
No, I am still away. I am in the middle of some French field paying about ten pound a second to add my views. I said I would wait until I returned from my hols. I feel like a poor man’s David Cameron.
This is where I am coming from. It will be of no surprise to anyone. It matters not a jot who we may or may not sign in the next 48 hours, the fact that the vast majority of our dealings were not sorted weeks ago tells you all you need to know. And don’t be fooled again. This has precious little to do with Sunday. Sunday just highlighted the problems.
Am I pissed off? Yes, yes I am. Massively so. Why? Because for 3 years I along with many others have tried to highlight the issues. The only crumb of comfort I takr from Sunday
Hey TS! Enjoy your break! Keep your phone on though, in case Arsene rings in the next day or so…
Amen indeed ‘Holic π
TS – Great to see you back . Tough times , but we’ll pull through .
See you in the drinks tomorrow – off to get some shut eye .
I mean, really, with our team this thin we each and all are at the closest we’ll ever get to maybe getting signed for the Arsenal! Who wants to do some pushups and practice pk’s?
Hey PIK and Steve T – sorry I didn’t see you there . Drinks are on me .
I need to get some sleep – have to be in tip top shape for my medical at London Colney tomorrow .
PiK
I am back now. Very good to see you in here too. You have become a key supplier to DLL and Edwin will be looking to do a CMC stock check very soon.
PS: Note that you have healthy competition from Harsha these days too π
“Andre santos, santos. With his prices we can up the dose, pretty soon il say goodbye to my nose, Andre santos, santos” right, think thats my fill for the night!
I have to confess here and now I haven’t a clue about this Andre Santos, but any left-back is an absolute necessity as long as he can play a bit.
Another plum pulled out of the pudding by Arsene?
…..is, that it has highlighted the problem.
On the 28th of August I sat down in a bar full of about 80 peopleto watch the game. The bar was 95% manc. Can u honestly imagine how emvarrassed and butt I felt?
Sunday 29th was my birthday. I wake up on my birthday and have to deal with that shite????;? All when it had been so coming for so long and we had done fuck all about it???;????
Enjoy holics. See u in uSept.
Cheers tabs and ts! Ah, Harsha’s spreading the WWBMD (What Would Bob Marley Do?) message I see!
“Every little thing, gonna be alright…”
Let’s hope so, Bob, let’s hope so.
Heh! Tim Payton from the AST tweets that over 70% of members want Usmanov on the Board! That’s a sea change if ever.
Oh and if we are in for this left back from Turkey for around Β£6 then how come we didn’t go for Enrique? Went for a similar amount. Proven Premiership player – any ideas?
Cheers Steve T. Happy birthday, mate, though it couldn’t be happy in all ways hopefully the non-football life is treating you alright!
Is that a Freudian slip Β£6! I meant Β£6m.
Hey ’74. No idea, but honestly it is really really difficult to understand what’s going on these days (I have no particular opinion about Enrique vs Santos, BTW). There HAS to be information withheld that would clarify our position this summer, but who know what it is. If there’s a bustup backroom, they sure kept the lid on tight…
We’ve watched Arsene be shrewd and stubborn and even bizarre before (along with utterly brilliant and committed, of course), but this summer has the mark of something much larger than poor management from a single man. I’m just in the dark about what.
Pires – it’s so knee-jerk as well. First, after selling Cliche to Man City we are told we are more than ok in that dept. Then after seeing Traore getting mauled we ship him out and buy a left back clickety snap! ???
There are dark forces at work – beware they read this blog π
AFC1974, No slip there. You just got mixed up with the fee we got for Traore. π
I know- I truly think the most frustrating thing (aside from the results) is the complete unclarity of what the fuck is going on. Maybe others are in the know and only I am ignorant, but I think all this division into camps amongst the supporters represents people’s difficulty dealing with the ambiguity of the whole situation. I empathize because I haven’t the slightest clue why this summer passed the way it did, particularly after last spring (and the spring before, and the spring before…). Simply saying Arsene Out seems the unlikely antidote, but I certainly don’t know why what seemed obvious to us all (buying quality, experienced players) hasn’t been done. The only thing I can think of is the Board’s desire to continue to earn a pretty penny off of Arsene’s thus far shrewd genius. And they’re willing to gamble more on it, it seems…
Alright, off to a meeting. See you all in the morning when Arsene unveils are newest signing… TABS!!!
Agreed re dark forces at work, but I’d be stunned if the Traore move wasn’t already in the offing before we even kicked off on Sunday. Certainly, he’d been linked with QPR earlier in the summer.
Which raises the question of what he was even doing on the pitch. Was it because we were down to the bare bones? Or was some sort of point being made? And what was going through Traore’s head during that second half?
Santos looks a sensible enough signing to me. Would have preferred Baines but he’ll bring some decent experience and will help freshen up the squad. At least two more players needed in the next 48 hours though, excluding the South Korean.
And even then we’re scrapping for a top four spot. Given the uneven playing field, we’d need the whole club from top to bottom to be a well oiled machine to take a serious crack at the title and right now we are far, far, far from that.
Still behind the lads 100% though, and looking forward to Swansea and beyond.
TS – Welcome back. Hope you had good hols. You might like to let Edwin know that an urgent meeting with Dr F is required first thing. Many passengers clamouring for refunds for the last trip due to immense operating difficulties.
Tabs @84 – π π
Heard in an interview earlier tonight –
Int: Arsene, fans are seriously worried, they are desparate for signings, but still nothing. Some of them seem to think you don’t even know how to spell the word ‘signings’.
AW: Well, errrr I feel lexicolistically it would be errr,
S-I-G-N-F-I-N-G-S.
Int: Arsene, there’s no f in signings.
AW: Well errrr, no, but we will be up working very hard all night and as soon . . . . .
Joshua @ 132 – we got Β£6 for Traore ? We did well. π
Tabs –
is this Andre Santos person one of your throwbacks to Behind The Arse ?
It occurs to me that Andre Santos is an anagram of ‘An SOS Red Ant’.
They haven’t really, have they ? π
Must get some sleep.
Ladies and Gentlemen we are in for one hell of a season so order your persciption medication early as we will all need it.
“Hi doctor can I please have 3 tonne of anti-depps for me and my fellow gooners as we may need some”
Very concerned and worried about my beloved team !
Fuck..thought we were buying Santana…now that would have been a wow signing..
Benayoun O dear O dear O dear, a replacement for Cesc ?
I do believe a few panic buys may turn up at the Emirates this week.
Rich vein of insight on here for the last few hours. It looks like the pain is subsiding, for the moment at least, and the usual suspects are resurfacing in a big way.
Re: Trev @66, I sincerely hope you are right because I prefer to lay the blame on the Board than on AW although I really don’t know anymore. But I do know that AW has a better track record than the board so I am willing to give him the benefit of the doubt.
Re: Tabs #84 Pure sanctimonious genius. You almost qualify for the top one. π
Trev, CG – As opposed to other times that it was unhealthy for me to deal with all kinds of things like that.
This time, I asked out of pure curiosity!! π
Andre Santos is decent, not more, not less.
Trev, give up your day job and become a comedy writer. You are a very funny man!
My Brazilan girls tell me Andre Santos is magic and their nipples are already getting hard. They didn’t know what he’s like as a LB though.
All joking apart, the Brazilian national team’s left back can’t be all bad – and Gael Clichy was most certainly (and remains) the weakest link. And Arsene made a profit on the deal! Only ONE Arsene Wenger. If there is any truth in the rumour that AW got 6M for Traore, I’m looking forward to seeing walk over the Thames next time we go south of the river.
Snir: Step 1 – sell Traore and buy a new LB. For the rest of the week’s activities, read BtM @ 6 in yesterday’s drinks. For everything else – there’s King Kenute and his quick spend 100M+ down the gurgler..
Some folks still bent out of shape over three points dropped at the Stadium of Debt? Get a life guys. We’ve only played 3 (three: Thhh- rrrr-eee) games. These points will all come back home when manure come to London.
Arsenal, bloody Arsenal.
BtM – What are you talking about ? What step? I was referring to my post @71… π
Would love to get an answer for that, please π
I don’t think people are bent out of shape over three points lost but how they were lost …
It was our C Team, Snir and “how they were lost” doesn’t show on the league table at the end of the season. Nor is it likely that the title will be decided on goal difference so it’s just empty pissing rights – chill. The Manc and press euphoria is a hoot, isn’t it?
Yes – as I understand it, the home team takes all the gate receipts, so in effect, Arsenal will need to cough up 3,000 x 100 per ticket. Won’t break the bank, but a gesture that many will appreciate no doubt.
Step 1 referred to my post yesterday when I recommended that step one was to sell Traore before Wednesday. Tick that box, Cahill next plus two.
Knackered. Drive to Philly tomorrow. Off to bed to dream of that Ramsey goal at the Emirates versus the Mancs in May. Sweet! AND Wojcieck’s clean sheet in that game. Magic!
Good night.
That’s what I’m saying.
It’s not a ‘refund’ cause it wasn’t Arsenal who earned that money.
So it’s basically Arsenal offering to pay for a match for fans from money they DIDN’T earn.
That makes the gesture even better (and yes, I totally agree with the gesture, fan relations is IMO the most important aspect of sports).
The Happy Train!!! Ha!!! I almost forgot about that mofo. If 8-2 at the Mancs doesn’t derail it I don’t know what will. At best, and considering all of our injuries, suspensions, and Wenger’s transfer shortfalls I thought we’d lose 3-1 at best. And I was getting hammered the night before. In anticipation of such a poor result. But 8-2??? Even BarΓ§a’s B team would not suffer that ignominy. But I did watching it happen the next day. I don’t drink often. But call that a pre-emotive strike. Even a pessimist like me could not envision an 8-2. We are one spot from the relegation zone. Well done Arsene. Brilliant off season transfer dealings. Losing your top two players wasn’t forseeable. Oh no. For fuck sake’s please retire.
I must bid ado to everyone here on this fine blog. The club’s going down and I’m heading for the lifeboats. There are many fine gents on this blog but I cannot suffer through the next five years before we turn the ship straight and with new management might I add. It may take ten years. I’ll speak with you fine folk at that time. With less hair of course.
Up the Arse!!!
Was there a derailment to the Happy Train?
If there wasn’t then I need some morphine. An 8-2 should put that Happy Train permanently out of commission. I think the Happy Train has left orbit in all honesty. Houston … we have a problem.
Holy fuck Batman …
Did you just write Up Barca?
Do I need to remind you how they disrespected our (and I think yours too, although I’m not entirely sure anymore) club?
A Gooner would grow sick of Barca just because of the disrespect they showed to his biggest love – The Arsenal.
Love Arsenal – Hate Barca. It’s simple. It shouldn’t be that way as they aren’t Spurs but they disrespected our club to the point where hatred must creep in.
When someone disrespects my club he becomes my enemy.
Barca Must Be Destroyed.
Demonstrations at the Grove after the transfer deadline if there aren’t new signings???
Hell. If I lived in North London after an 8-2 I’d be marching down on the Grove with torches and pitchforks demanding resignations. If this were BarΓ§a losing to RM 8-2 they would do so. No matter the manager’s CV. If Sir Old Red Nose, who has a better CV than the Stingy Frenchie btw, went 7 years without a league, 6 without a trophy, pissed all over himself through multiple transfer windows, and then soiled himself and the club with an 8-2 to what was supposed to be a rival, but is anything but because of our colassal criminal mismanagement, he would have been sent packing. Hell, a truly big club would have sent Fergie adrift in half the time.
And I say this knowing that it is not all Wenger’s fault. But he is part of the management team. The board us the bigger problem, true. But as Harry Truman said, “The buck stops here”. AW has to own up to this. AW must go. AW should have resigned honourably the day after infamy.
28/08/2011 A day which will live in infamy. I think I’ll need professional help after this one. I’ll be the Gooner living in an ice fishing hut in northern Yukon by the Bering Sea.
Drink up snir, on me. I shall try an be the “bigger man” as I’m sure we know how such antics ( stated above) can fill someone w such rage whilst at a bar, let alone a bad look. Stingy will not be forgiven for that statement but, I’m a little familiar w his contributions to this bar.
What do we make of these transfer talks?
Read; hazard will stay. We know about the mistake we may have or may not have made w Bolton and Cahill. Malouda, benayoun, Alex…. Do they believe that we are in such dire straits that they are willing to sell to us? Xherdan shaqiri, what a player he will be.
Also read; hazard and Cahill to have Medicals in 48hrs let’s hope this is true, only that small amount of time will tell….
On a side note 40mil for modric? Are you having a laugh?
Let’s just buy CF4 BarΓ§a jerseys Snir and go ice fishing in the Yukon together. I think they have cable up there … if it’s insulated. FCB will be in the UCL for many moons. AFC after his year, not so much. And I hear there’s enough fish, despite Al Gore’s claims of man made global warming, that we can survive until the next time Arsenal is in contention for the league title. Pack your ice fishing pole brother as you won’t need to scope the BBC EPL schedule to see our chances at the title. Rather, you should check it so that we avoid the drop. We’re currently one spot from it. How about both north London sides in the Fish & Chips Segunda Division next year? Wouldn’t that be a sight? I’ll be six months’ ahead in terms of Yukon ice fish mate. Care to join me? Happy Ice Fishing Life Boat (HIFLB) mate π
Ok, that’s enough… Where’s wolfie when you need him? Shut the fuck up already. 28/8/2011 the day you came into this bar and made yourself look like an ass in oh so many ways, starting with your spell check!
Goddamn Arsene please just do something before more people go bonkers and lose their minds. People are starting to reference batman, fdr, and Yukon potatoes for fuksake!
Snir, while I wish it wasn’t so, I too have grown to hate barca. I really used to respect their ball, but their self-importance stinks, and all the more foul for luring cesc. Fuck ’em, I’d rather be an 8-2 gunner then pompous play-acting ass.
Yikes! The downers are starting to kick in. Whose got the keys to the cabinet?
Stingy, I understand you’re frustrated and mourning (and probably drunk), but piss off mate before you get more carried away and say shit you’ll regret down the line.
PiK, I lost my mind after the 8-2 and have been institutionally committed ever since. I was able to snatch a nurse’s iPhone and have been texting for the past little while. I do, however, hate its predictive spelling as it makes me out to be far from the grade school spelling bee champion that I once was. Care to join Snir and myself for a threesome in the Yukon for some extended ice fishing (don’t tell Senor smallballs)? After I escape from the 8-2 looney bin?
28/08/2011 A Day Which Will Live In Infamy π
SV – Didn’t read all of your BS but just for the record.
RM lost 6-2 to Barca at home and the manager stayed till the end of the season.
RM lost 5-0 to Barca and the manager stayed.
In fact, Real can’t even remember the last time they beat Barca in La Liga yet they didn’t fire the manager in the middle of the season.
You know what!? Fuck it. In Arsene I Still Trust!
PiK it’s too late. I’ve said stuff about a month ago that I could forsee whilst drunk that our management could not. Stuff that almost all of the Kool Aid drinking gentlemen, right proper gentlemen that they are no doubt and with the upmost respect, could not or dare not admit. And I said that I’d be very interested in their opinions after the transfer window closes. However, with three days to go and one point of nine I don’t see the point in waiting until Thursday. Our club is utterly shambolic at the moment. And this did not happen overnight. Expect it to get worse before it gets better too (i.e. RvP will be in the same spot as Nasri was this summer — if I was RvP I would not re-sign. The great Arsenal have become Everton in a very short span of time btw. Speaking of which, with the now inflated transfer kitty we now have after our two major sales, I’d like to see half the Everton squad in north London. Namely, Arteta, Baines, and Jagielka. Thank you. It would be a start).
Stingy, I do empathize and more or less agree that things have gotten ‘shambolic’ and that a couple late signings don’t change everything. But this is still the arsenal, mate. And there ain’t a keeper I want more than wojy, a cb I like more than tv, young midfielders lime jack and fring-madman-pong, or a captain like rvp. And rvp is only in the same situation in regards to months left on contract- almost nothing else is the same. Nasri, as much as I loved his rascally play, was a Johnny come lately ala Ade. Van Persie can keep his head high standing with Henry, bergkamp, and Adams in my book.
Puff puff pass, stingy, but don’t slober on it.
And regarding the Kool Aid drinking that’s done by the majority on this fine blog — remember Guyana and a cult led by a Mr. Jones? Many similarities to it and this site might I add. Le Boss being Mr. Jones.
It’s high time to part ways with the great man. A handhake, big cheque, wall of fame, etc. Clearly, he was great, but the ship has run aground. If we could get him from a Japanese club two and a half decades ago I’m sure we can get a man today that can do a better job than he’s done for the past five years. If anyone thinks differently then we surely are no longer a ‘big club’.
There are many managers out there which could have done at least as good during the past five years. Surely. Me Boss has lost his way and his touch. Time’s up. Ya gotta go. And if I were him I would have honourably submitted my written resignation Monday morning, whilst we all are in mourning after the disaster since the Mickey Mouse Cup Final — 2 wins I believe … shameful, and bid adieu. Enough is enough.
For all those I’ll go down with the ship & Arsene types out there, exactly how much is enough for you lot??? What, if anything, will it take for you to sack him if you were in charge? For him to die in office? This isn’t North Korea. I’m being serious. What will it take for the majority of the Kool Aid tankers here to severe the ties?
Stingy
I’m sure there are lots of worthy sites where you can express your undying love and admiration for all things Barca without boring everyone. Maybe even one that does a Barca – Manure love-in fantasy for you.
This one isn’t it.
Stingy.
You’re comparing a decent man to a psycopathic maniac, mass murderer.
Go to bed. You’re embarrassing yourself.
Ok, nothing to see here folks, keep moving. Another one just bit the dust. No more, no less.
Catalan, pleasant evening is it not?
Snir – You better read your history a bit better mate. RM sack managers on the quick if they don’t perform. More so if they don’t do the business against FCB. Del Bosque out after winning a UCL, Capello and Schuster out after winning La Liga. Why? For not playing attractive enough footy but whilst winning trophies. The managers they’ve bounced whilst losing just this past decade reads like a litany. Don’t expect Mou Mou to last past this year if he doesn’t win anything bigger than the Copa del Rey. And that’s a manager with a better CV in a shorter time than our Pope. Someone has to say that the emperor has no clothes. Once yes. Now no. Full stop with the parking brake on.
Buenos dias, PiK. A very pleasant morning over here. Time for a strong coffee and a, hopefully, interesting day.
PiK – After the day of infamy would you re-sign if you were RVP? Come next summer he will have only one year left on his contract. He’ll be what, 28? He’s looking at one big contract before he retires with a chance at silver. We can’t offer it. We have a rigid wage structure that he himself criticized this last summer. He’ll be high on the list of many big clubs. We are in a major transition period. No chance he’ll stay. Why would he? Because he’s the captain? Please. AW sure knows how to pick captains eh? Vierra, Henry, Cesc. Become captain and then depart. Once Jack becomes truly world class, and btw one solid year doing everything except knowing where the net does not constitute world class in my books, he too will skip town. Mark my words. Even if you make him captain and give him the key to the city. Why? The lad wants to win and make money. Nasri saw it. Cesc too. And yes, Sami left for both. Last year ManC were better than us even though Al Pacino almost defensively bollocks-ed it up by being too conservative. But it down to an Italian that can’t cook whilst having all the ingredients. This year, expect them to end above the red Mancs with Yaya playing the DMF role and Barry on the bench as he should be.
So Catalan, what’s the weather predicted to be today, lovely day I suppose.
Pik, beautiful night here, thanks
Once RvP skips for greener pastures you lot will disown him quicker than Nasri. And remember, Sami is no fella that fell off the turnip truck. Frenchie footy player of the year, PFA player of the year list, and a club willing to double his AFC salary. Who’s bitter? Maybe most of the Kool Aid types I’d say. He’s great with us but he’s shit and and over-rated with the blue Mancs. Hell. Come mid season they’ll have Clichy, Toure (post ban), and Sami as part of their best XI. We might as well get sky blue Manc jerseys as we’ve become their feeder/farm team. And BarΓ§a jerseys which should already be in the closet as we’ve been their feeder for years.
YDWBHL
Day 28, night 24 apparently. So says the BBC, at least. Dark clouds gathering, but the sun beginning to shine through too. Anything is possible. Hmmm…..
The problem with the muggy weather is that it brings out all the really annoying insects etc…. quite spoils the morning.
Dr. C – Never confuse me with a Manure fan. I take offence to that.
As for Mou Mou, he is shit as a human being, and his footy is ugly, but he is successful (and much more so than our cult leader especially since 2004). If you don’t believe me maybe you should do some research.
Anyway, too much offensive truth for Kool Aid types here. I’m off to go ice fishing in the Yukon after I escape the looney bin.
Be well everyone. Even the ones who spit venom at me like GH and Senor smallballs. You’re all top gents even though we don’t see eye to eye. There will be a few fishing poles for everyone up north. This is going to be a longer season than even I imagined initially. God bless. Hope to avoid the drop and rebuild with a fresh pair of hands on the wheel come next summer.
Cheers.
SV – Once again you go on about stuff that weren’t part of the debate.
RM lost 6-2 at home (!!!!!!!!!) and didn’t fire the manager till after the season.
RM lost 5-0 away and didn’t fire the manager.
I wasn’t talking about after the season, I was talking about the aftermath of those specific matches as a reply to your claim that RM or Barca would fire their managers if the same happened to them.
Well, they didn’t.
We shouldn’t fire our manager in the middle of the season.
Fuck it. I’m buying my Fabregas 4 BarΓ§a jersey. Two goals already. And two trophies in two weeks (he got what, 2 in 8 years in north London? Enough said). At least Dr. C can watch proper footy for the next half decade. Good on him π
Where’s that fishing boat?
YDWBHL – Alex for 7MΒ£, what do you think? I know I love it! π
Holic, get him out of here.
He’s become a public nuisance.
Snir – Celtic fired their manager after a 4-0 loss to St. Mirren. Celtic, although no longer a ‘big club’, have won a European Cup. Have we?
This season is already spinning around the toilet basin and it could have been prevented and mgmt has dithered (not for the first time). He should have resigned honourably. If you think we have a chance at the title or a top 4 finish you should join me in the Yukon.
Oxygen, Snir – don’t give it to them.
I hate to step in the middle of this relationship you’ve got going on here ( maybe this is some crazy ex girl friend, not sure) at that price let him take a few free kicks and I still think tv and kos are capable, if they can finish a season together but, I’d buy him.
SV – Leave the first 3 games of the season aside for a second.
If we Andre Santos for Clichy, Gervinho for Nasri, Park for NB52, Alex/Cahill for Squillaci, M’vila for Denilson and Martin for Cesc.
Do you really think that with 70% of the first team fit we can’t get top 4?
The first 3 have already signed, Cahill/Alex/CB will sign, M’vila might sign and Martin/Attacking midfielder might sign as well.
Not enough for top 4? I think it is.
Stingy – Are you an Arsenal fan?
Snir, Welcome home! Glad to see you got some rest and came back to your ways, yes we’ve had a tough run so far but, none the less welcome back.
This other one tho may be on the same antibiotics Arsene’s been taking… And I believe the happy train departs just before the window closes.
YDWBHL – Alex as a replacement for Kos and TV is a very very capable replacement IMO.
But that isn’t my worry. My worry is the ‘in the hole’ role as we don’t really have anyone who can do it besides Jack and I don’t see Jack playing again this season.
SV @183 – All pie in the sky conjecture. A famous saying comes to mind, “If my auntie had bollocks she’d be my uncle”. π
On a personal note, I wish you the best with your sports mgmt studies. No shit. Graduate and then apply at the Grove as they are in dire need of righting this massive cock-up. Best of luck.
Right, off to sleep and wish all the best as I’m sure to be banned forever more. All the best SG and CG and all those silent readers in the dark corners.
Up the Arse and BarΓ§a too!! Hell, polygamy is legal in Utah ain’t it? π
Snir, as stated before ( I believe Winston) we need to get back to Invincibles style football. No more no less. This he shall remain nameless style won’t work now just as the adey the whore style didn’t. We need steel, pace and work to get us thru this, and he will be a great cover as will Gibbs, maybe?
SV – Thanks, although you’re a pain in the ass sometimes, you got your moments.
But, as a ‘contributor’ to this bar, I can’t stand your posts, and the tone they’re written at so at this point I’m begging Holic to not be blinded by your recent pleasantries and ban you.
YDWBHL – I agree. But, I don’t think AW will change his formation. If he had thought about it, he would have tried it in the preseason.
I mean, he didn’t even try it once during the preseason.
So I’ve come to accept that he won’t change the formation so we do need a player for that role.
SV – two words for you mate. OH DEAR.
If all you ever wanted was trophies and success you hid it damn well, all this time we had a closet Barca fan/glory hunter in our midst. Enjoy Barca/Manure/Chelski/whoever else has had a good result, we’ve finally seen your true colours, and they are a nauseating blend of puke, diarrhoea and bile.
Oh and by the way: don’t stand too near to any open fires, you’ll melt.
YDWBHL – Alex will surely sign. He’s not gonna be part of the 25 players named in Chelsea’s squad.
He has to sign. It’s either sign or sit out a season (or at least sit out until January).
YDWBHL – I’ve thought about it and came to a conclusion that there is a chance AW will change the formation.
If he finds an AMC he’ll stay with the current formation althogh it looks very unlikely with Hazard, Goetze, Kaka staying at their clubs.
If he doesn’t find someone for that role he’ll change a formation and sign M’Vila.
Just my opinion of course π
Snir @192
why on earth would you want us to sign Alex,if he was any good he would still be in the Chelsea squad.
If he is not good enough for Chelsea,he is not good enough for us.
But putting that aside,wetting yourself over who may or may not join us before the deadline,is an exercise in futility.
Don’t lose sleep over what might never happen.!!
On Sept 1st you will wake up and smell the Roses,log on to the Internet and see who we have signed,then you can speculate/agree/disagree all you like because it will be factual.
Doing it now when we have no idea who AW is pursuing despite what the Papers tell us,is a pointless exercise.
Chill out my friend.
What wll be will be.
cheers
The Sweeper.
Some great tunes last night ‘holic. Still practicing flicking me mushroom wedge from side to side here!
Lequipe saying we signed Mertesacker. SSN contacted Bremen who said no offers have been made.
Really dont want him. Very slow and not a good fit with our high defenseive line…
Our offside trap will be worse with him than it was with Clichy.
Clive mate. I’m simply passing along what I see and sharing with the bar.
Ive always rated Alex and I think he fell out if favor with the purchase of Luiz, I think he could do a good job at AFC. Really rate him even if AVB doesn’t:)
Bit of the dark side of the moon feeling on here last night I see. For my two bob I dont see any other manager doing this job on the resources and wage restrictions we have. City have distorted this league horribley to the extent that any player for sale must be offered to them first. No way excuses what went on during summer but it has to be a factor. How could any sane club jusify paying nasricunt that type of money or barry or lescott or any of the rest of em. Am also firmly in the fuck barca camp..they may even replace spurs as the chosen pattern on my loo roll this season.
Snir… why the “meh” for Mertesacker?? 26 years old, big and strong, 75 caps for Germany…… fairly good basics!!
SV , find me one example where Smallballs has ” spat venom” at you .
Your footballing opinions are dire enough , but don’t make it up as you go along .
Goodbye .
Morning All , gotta fly , but Trev @138 – genius π
answering my own question…..
http://abehnisch.com/mertesacker-strange-decline/
hope that link is ok, Holic? Seems a well researched piece.
A fire sale a chelski, AW and co have been spotted going through the rails but nothing seems to fit. Smacks of desperation !
Less than 48 hours left and once again Bolton have the cheek to turn down a bid of Β£1.50 and a bag of crisps.
As the hours tick down the heart rate gose up, we cant be this stupid not to fill the spots needed ? Can we ?
Good link CG but I like him, rarely seems to be caught out of position and maybe last season was a bit off due to the fact he is going stale in the german league. Would be a welcome old head on fairly young shoulders.
Ok – so it’s looking like this (subject to actually buying them!):
LB – Santos (28, 22 Brazil Caps)
CB – Mertesacker (26, 75 Germany caps)
Striker – Park (26, captain of S Korea)
I know that they are not Galacticos, but all are seasoned professionals, and isn’t that what many of us wanted??
Now, if we could just secure a “wow” signing in midfield, then I think we are done (all be it much too belatedly, but spilt milk and all that…)
Sounds right, CG. And now I’ve come ’round to the idea that we actually DO need a ‘wow’ signing to lift the spirits not just of the fans but of the squad too.
Maybe so Catalan,
But according to Philippe Auclair the interest in Alex and Yossi is absolutely nailed on. The Mertesacker deal could be contingent on whether Alex is a runner or not (ie it would seem unlikely they’d want to loose a player of that calibre in case there was injury to JT, Ivanovic or Luiz). I’d prefer to have Alex given a choice simply because he has PL experience and can take free kicks.
I really wouldn’t be surprised to see more than 3/4 players come in. The UTD result if anything proved how thin the squad actually is. While Yossi might not be a first team player – he would certainly add some depth, experience and work ethic to a squad that needs it.
Dr.C @ #202
Yes, it’s a decent if overly-late start although better late than never in my book.
The least ‘confirmed’ i.e. Mertesacker would be an excellent signing. I think he is just what we need and a relativley well known player too.
It’s the MF that, IMHO, needs strengthening most urgently now. I’m hopeful a recruit will be made soon but I won’t lose any sleep over it π
PS for The Sweeper: What would we do with you and and your witty wisdom? An alcohol-free drink of your choice from me when you’re ready. Please keep your kit and boots at the ready π
I’ll temper my last comment in that Cahill would be a better signing IMO but I believe both would add experience and dimension to our squad.
Morning Ollie, didn’t see you there. Back for more ‘punishment’ this weekend? π
Transfer speculation is making my head spin now. If I had a quid for every time I’ve logged on to newsnow this summer and followed it with a trip to youtube for a look at some random target I’ve never heard of, I’d have enough money to buy us a marquee signing by now…
Speaking of which, wouldn’t it be a nice 125th anniversary present for us if our two billionaires each bought us a marquee signing? They could have their own private fantasy football league then. Winner at the end of the season gets the right to buy a bit more of the club…
After eights? thatβs a good one!
But who eight, all the pies?
Rumours are surfacing that a fee has been agreed for Mertsacker worth 9 Million Euros; he has agreed a four year deal and is flying in for his medical today!
Either Cahill, Mertsacker and Alex would be good aquisitions!
Heh Snowy – — The GT Rollers are open to being bought out by either Silent Stan or Fat n Orange. We’ll play hardball on the price though…
New rumours surfacing on Samba as well as Mertesacker…. interesting squad depth….
Maybe Jack is earmarked for the advanced creative role this year? Or maybe we’re about to sign Messi…
Afternoon Holics,
All of those signings mention by Dr C I would welcome with open arms to add to that Alex would be even better.
Mertesacker is an established German defender, he ha many caps under his belt as mentioned above.
Looking at Twitter, many are commenting that Mertesacker is a great guy off the itch. I believe that he has also captained Germany.
So; Denilson, Vela shipped out. Traore gone. Bendtner going (probably). Diaby MIA.
In: 2 national captains and leaders.
Looks like Arsene is going for personality as much as outright skill.
Just… why so late?? Oh well…
Yeah we still need another midfielder as the boss has identified.
There are many we don’t know about, but it would be good to bag a big name and leave a gaping hole in some other teamsβ midfield for a change! Hazard or Gorcuff maybe?
All a mad last minute rush if you ask me!
A couple of years ago, I’d have said yes to Gourcuff.
Now it’s a ‘No thank you’.
‘Eight to say it butt the Arse were s@@t – too soon – or maybe not soon enough …
CoMe on you Reddies – spend sum!!!
http://www.arsenal.com/news/news-archive/traore-agrees-terms-with-queen-s-park-rangers
Traore is a gonnnnneeerrrrrr thank fuck for that!
A transcript of a secret tape recording at the Offices of Delirious Locomotives Ltd on the evening of 29th August 2011.
Dr Feelgood : “So then Professor, would you like to explain exactly what happened as our glorious machine arrived at Salford Sidings?”
Professer Edwin Storey: “Sunday was a Day of Infamy, Doctor, apparently.”
Dr Feelgood : “Oh god, how many died? Are we talking lawsuits? Class action?”
Professor Edwin Storey : “Er no, some of the customers have got it into their heads that because of a small lurch off the rails, temporary only and momentarily making us veer slighly off course, that, err, they are entitled to a refund”.
*It is believed that the Professor was blushing profusely at this point*
Dr Feelgood “Ok Edwin, how did these faint hearted types get anywhere near our customer base? Were we not categorical in our statement about Class One Events?”
Professor Edwin Storey : “We were indeed, my good Doctor. And our Inspectors are fully trained in Grasp Method, to ensure that each and every passenger has “grown a pair” ”
Dr Feelgood : “Right Edwin, easy solution. Spend a few quid, get them some shiny new toys for the Sport Carriage and hire Rowan Atkinson to pull some funny faces for a week. That’ll put a smile back on their moaning faced coupons. Well most of them. Find out where that Canadian lives and set Security on him. And one last thing, under no circumstances give them any money back. We’ll need all the funds we can muster for more Bubble Wrap Suits, if this weekend is anything to go by.”
So far we are selling come Arsenal let’s sign sign sign, L’Equipe now confirming Mertersaker…
Yeah Gorcuff has gone quiet! I’m sure we could revive him!
The word is, Hazard has said no! We maybe disagreeing on the price here knowing todayβs prices and our budget! (chalk and cheese!)
Arthur @ 210 – does that mean that Robin van Persie has many Dutch Caps under his belt? π
As we are on the subject, this is what Parks representative, Maurizio Morana had to say regarding Parks change of heart!
“We could not imagine what happened. On Friday, Arsenal contacted Monaco to know if an agreement had been found with Lille about a transfer,” Morana told France Football.
“As it was not the case, Arsenal started to negotiate, then asked to contact the player.
“Could you imagine how a player from Monaco could refuse such a club?
“As he should come back to his native Korea later in 2013 for military duties, this could be his last contract in Europe.
“When Arsene Wenger directly calls a player and asks him to join Arsenal, it is difficult to refuse.”
Morana also rejected suggestions that Park’s conduct demonstrated a lack of respect to Lille.
“We are sorry for the Lille officials who acted in a very professional way, but I can’t agree when I hear Park has no sense of morals,” the agent stated.
“There is no link with moral sense or honour, it is only football.”
zico @ #216
That was well worth a leak, great stuff! π
Theme for the week: ‘Growing a pair of Largeballs?’ With all due respect to WS, etc., etc.
The signing of Per Swinging Nutsacker might help the situation.
Gt @ #220, nice post & thanks.
zico @ #219, another big heh!
Dr Z @219 Heh!!
GT @ 220 – fantastic last line. Never a truer word….! π
Dr Z @216 π π – Drinks waiting for you on my tab Sir .
Thought for the day – Can the early season difficulties of the HT be in any way laid at the door of the close season camping trip to Canada ?
Given the type of passenger to be found thereabouts , we must review close season testing programmes .
Will be around for a full Board meeting later , but just wished to assure Dr Feelgood that my Grasp Method has never been better π
* Roll in the new boys*
Dr Z @ 219 You mean Dutch Cups? π
Guys, it’s all crazy! π
It is with some distress that I have to report that Tabs’ medical at London Colney did not go well and that he failed .
Reports are murky , though it would seem that he was deemed to not have sufficient weight in the nutsack area .
Join the bloody club !!
TS – Can we both join your programme outlined @ 221 ?
Just a quick stop at the bar to say καλιΟΟΞΟΞ± (“hello”) to you all from sunny Crete. No time to catch up on all the drinks – that will have to wait until I get home next Monday when I’ll be having a marathon of catching up on drinks, but I notice that we have strengthened the squad by offloading Traore. Must mean that players really are coming in. Will check back tomorrow to see if anything has materialized.
Managed to see the first half at the airport on Sunday. Wish I hadn’t. And that’s all that needs to be said about that game.
Good on the ladies for winning yet another tropy.
Hope you are all well, I certainly am here in the sun. Take care and remember that whatever they throw at us we are still the Arsenal and they are not, so we win anyway in the grand scheme of things.
Now off to a nice bar for a pint or two of some light lager too cool myself down a bit, it’s quite warm here today. Laters, drinkers of the ‘Holic bar!
Dear Wolfgang
Just a quick response to your excelent point made at #224. I have been conducting a few tests myself on our under-carriage, you’ll no doubt be pleased to know.
After much pulling and yanking, with able support from TGLM, I can confirm that we found traces of a foul smelling, black substance on the bogies which was glutenous enough to cause wheel-slippage.
Back at the lab and under the red and white delaminator the ‘black-sh*t’ (technical term) was found to be moose cr*p and likely to have come directly out of the sh*tter of a moose resident on the shores of Lake Superior. This may well have contributed to the Class 2/3 event that we experienced in the HT on Sunday evening.
Trust that clarifies.
With regards,
Edwin
Good to see that the players are coming in (hopefully they will be found to have sufficient weight π )
Also good to see that we are doing better than Spurs, whose main bit of business of the summer is Adebayor.
Prof Edwin and Dr F
All of these Class 1 and Class 2/3 events. Isn’t it time we had more Class A events??
Wolfgang @ #227 – Capital idea, would be delighted to take you both in hand. Allow me to ponder a while to outline the ‘Swinging Nutsacker Programme’. Will report back…. π
C-Lars, is that you at #228? I was going to try to warn you on Sunday not to seek out the result but it seems you insisted on starting your holiday as badly as mine finshed in terms of Arsedom. Hey ho and how are the Cretian sun-bathing ladies today? Go-on, put your darkest shades on, and take a good sneaky good peek without letting on to Management… you know you want to…. π
Edwin ,
Thank you for your immediate and comprehensive response . I did think the “undercarriage” was my area , and had thought that the “moose sh*t ” had been dealt with some weeks ago . Unfortunately , it appears that it continued to lurk either beneath the underbelly or in another metamorphosed state .
Assuring you of my constant vigilance in this regard ,
Wolfie ( and not many people get to call me that ! )
Hello Greek Lars!
Dr.C @ #231
If your refering to the CMC, the doors are open fella. It was in a bit of a state after Sunday evening but emergency repairs and new supplies have been / are being drafted-in.
Remind you of something? π
Dr C – I’m sure Tabs needs a Class A event π
TS – Thank you for this . I have laboured for far too long in this cruel world without the necessary bag and look forward to receiving details of your programme so that I may yet become Wolfgang Mediumsizedballs .
*off to console Tabs*
PS Breaking news – whilst Tabs was heartbreakingly turned down by The Arse , for whom he was prepared to play for nothing , reports new reach us that he has turned down the chance to play for The Spuds for a reported 15m quid a week . Apparently , the money on offer was nowhere near enough for the Chap to sell his soul .
I’ve said it before.
I’ll say it again.
Certifiably barking π
Just going through all the drinks..
Some top posts from trev,tabs et al
Stingy, please Fuck off with your barca love and take it elsewhere
Hope the left back we are about to sign is better than what we have had since cuntley cole
Bring on Class A events I have actually forgotten what is use to be like you know what I mean and that’s definitely including Dr Z’s Dutch Caps π
TS – I have actually taken up residence in the CMC since Sunday. I was trying to drown out the insistent bleating, and it mostly worked until that damn Moose showed up last night.
Bravely, Snir acted as doorman and copped the full load of shit.
No worries, Snir is back under sedation, with Nurse Wolfie tenderly mopping his brow. Following Trev’s suggestion we have imposed a complete sensory ban on Snir for the next few days, for fear that his head might actually explode over the transfer rumours.
To,
DLL Ltd executives
Dear sirs,
As our beloved club is looking to add players, I hear that your esteemed company too, is looking to add to the already diminishing supply of *happy stuff* for your infamous HT
Since your primary supplier hasn’t put forth his offer yet, I am hereby willing to offer free shipments worth estimated to be more than traore until christmas
There is a condition though and that is that all users of the *medicine* must have grown a pair of strong balls and we won’t be held responsible in any way if this pre-requisite is not met
Ps: If the investigation into Sunday’s derailment leads to a conclusion that the HT driver at the time was driving under influence, the deal is off
Cheers,
Secret suppliers
Good to see Cesc still has us in his heart!
Refering to the Spurs v City match!
‘I’m Very impressed with man city and spurs. One in a positve way and the other very negative. Cant really say im sad about it though (sic),’ Fabregas stated.
Confirmed on Arsenal.com
http://www.arsenal.com/news/news-archive/arsenal-to-sign-striker-chu-young-park
He came to us when Na$ri went Chu Young, Chu Young
And not a lot of cash was spent Chu Young, Chu Young
He’ll take the ball and he will score, and then he’ll eat your Labrador,
Park Chu Young, Arsenal’s number 9
:o)
Lol! ^^
Dear Harsha c/o Secret Suppliers
Re: HT Mk II CMC Supplies
cc: Dr. Feelgood, Wolfgang Smallballs nee Mediumballs
Many thanks for your highly interesting offer. It will be given full and due consideration by the DLL board and compared against competitive offers (yet to be recieved) from our normal chain of suppy.
In terms of our driver, I can assure that his track (sic) record is impeccable. He initially recieved full qualification from LRT before volunteering for re-training at DLL where we pressure tested him at up to eight pints of ‘water’ per day. Needless to say, he passed his tests with flying-colours and is able to be in full control of the HT locomotive at the same time as being deliriously happy.
We take the reputation of our staff very seriously and hope that the above goes some way to addressing your concerns. I believe I also outlined earlier the cause for the minor event which was traced to a coating of moose cr*p on the bogiersd.
Should you wish to withdraw from our tender then please advise us via the usual channels and we will revert to our usual suppliers.
With kindest regards,
Edwin π
Nice one G4E @ #243
He no like the chicken’s head
He eat Fido’s balls instead π
Welcome Mr. Park, this could be the start of a brief but beautiful relationship π
‘bogiersd’ should read ‘bogies’. B*gger….
Dr.C @ #240
And there was me thinking the CMC was looking reasonably well stocked after recent events when it was you all along.
*sighs*
HT Quackery
Dr C, Senior Partner
Dr T, Senior Partner
August 30th medical report
Patient: Snir
Diagnosis: High anxiety. Suspected ADD.
Symptoms: overly concerned by things that he has no way of controlling.
Notes: Highly excitable, very good chap. HT co-founder. Recently copped a load of verbal moose diarrhoea after fatally engaging said moose in conversation.
Treatment: Sedated until after close of transfer window. Under special care of nurse Wolfie.
Prgonosis: Heβll be fine. Weβll wake him up on Thursday.
Patient: Moose
Diagnosis: Verbal Diarrhoea. Mania
Symptoms: Incessant repetition of same points. Fantasises about some team in Catalunya.
Treatment: Nurse Wolfie has administered (PR) a cocktail of immodium and lithium. Temporarily sedated.
Prognosis: Repetition will result in handing him over to the C.U.N.T.S. (my enemyβs enemy, and all that). For the greater good of all.
Patient: CUSOP
Diagnosis: Vit D deficiency from sustained living in a shadow. Delusions
Treatment: none offered
Prognosis: Beyond care. Seems happy enough, though.
Patient: Clive / The sweeper
Diagnosis: Multiple personality disorder
Notes: Treatment has been administered over the summer (confinement) with excellent results. From a rather curmudgeonly individual, he is now one of the brightest sparks on the train. No further treatment required.
It should be noted that there do seem to be a large number of multiple personalities on the HT. It would be interesting to investigate whether the βaccidentalβ doctoring of the water by Junior Dr Z and intern TS had anything to do with it.
General notes: Most of the passengers seem to have coped well with the (not all together unexpected) bumps and minor derailment on Sunday. It is recommended that staff continue to encourage regular use of the bar, GT and CMC to keep them in the preferred βhappyβ state.
The quackery remains at the disposal of all DLL staff passengers (and even stowaways) to help ensure as smooth and comfortable a ride as possible over the next 8 months. We would like to assure you that, contrary to certain rumours, neither of the quacks are certified to prescribe anything.
Yours in health, hope and ignorance
Dr C.
This is my favourite line from Parks introductory statement:
“In my opinion this is a great club, now I have to show what I can do on the pitch. I will do my best, I will never give up, I will show heart, I will give everything and I hope [the fans] will support me.”
You’ve def got my support fella! Welcome! :))
Bravo Dr.C @ #249, masterful!
The bar, the CMC and the GT all await your prodigious talent.
Good to see that we’re all at it today.
BTW, your prognosis of Cousin Op forgot to mention that he enjoys drinking Gooner p*ss. I’m concerned that one thing may lead to another and a taste for moose sh*t may develop as a result. We could call it LWC-syndrome-by-proxy.
Dr C @240 – Wonderful stuff π
Dr C @249 – Genius , as detailed in the last episode of Behind The Arse your potential is rising to the top . Genius ! Get yourself a beer – lots of them π π
Dear Prof TES ,
Just a quick note to endorse your “hardline ” approach with our suppliers . Secret Suppliers might be run by a thoroughly good chap – funny , reliable and cheap – but we can’t have the tail wagging the Dog . Our new centre forward might eat it .
Yours mincingly
Wolfie Smallballs ( but growing ) .
Heh tabs @ #253! You’re on form today fella π
I must say I get a little confused when I see reference to the GT on here!
But then I realise I’m not that popular! π
All aboard the gravy train! π
@255 Blimey its GT getting on the GT in search of the GT .
Welcome Aboard Goonertown !
Many thanks Wolfgang AKA Tabs! Lol!
Wolfie = TABS????
Absurd.
GT, come to the quackery, you need your first dose.
Dear HT Quackery ,
Well , what a day , pushed and prodded this way and that by that Lewin chap ( who can’t hold a candle to your medical skills by the way ) , and then being told I failed to make the grade , cut the mustard , or put my best foot forward .
He wasn’t very clear why I failed , but , in a nutshell , its all a load of old bollocks .
In need of immediate medical assistance , and a pipe .
Yours broken-heartedly
takeabowson
Cheers TS @254 . You’re not doing so bad yourself π
Certainly, dear TABS
Eastern or Western?
It’s a particular philosophy of mine to allow patients to self medicate when possible. I hate all that decision making and responsibility.
You crack on, and I’ll step in if necessary.
Hope & ignorance etc etc
Lol! Dr C
I told you I’m getting confused! It’s all of this last minute rushing around! Is there anything I can take, before I start standing on the touchline in a suit and a three quarter length Puffer Jacket?
GT
I think you could start by joining TABS with the pipes.
Whatever happens, even if it means a lethal overdose, I promise you that I’ll save you from the 3/4 length puffer jacket fate (worse than death).
Dr C 249, great work!
It looks like SS have understood something correctly again…
“Germany coach Joachim Low has confirmed he has given Per Mertesacker permission to leave the national team in order to travel to London to finalise a move to Arsenal.
Werder Bremen defender Mertesacker is expected to undergo a medical with the Gunners on Tuesday ahead of linking up with the Premier League club.
He has been preparing for Germany’s Euro 2012 qualifier against Austria on Friday, but Low revealed the centre-half has been allowed temporary leave from the camp.
“Very late yesterday evening, Per Mertesacker gave me information that there has been a serious offer coming in for his services,” said Low.
“Werder Bremen have told him this.
“Therefore, I have allowed Per Mertesacker to be absent from training and our camp for today. We are expecting him back for Wednesday’s training session.”….(Skipping all that crap about sunday, previous players leaving ladi dah)
…Reports suggest Mertesacker will cost Arsenal a fee in the region of β¬10million (Β£8.8m) and he will sign a four-year contract in North London.
Bremen midfielder Marko Marin admits it would be a bitter blow for the club if Mertesacker does join Arsenal before the transfer window closes.
Marin said: “If that happens, it is bitter for us. He is our captain and has had good games for us.”
Thank you Dr C .
Pull up a chair Goonertown . I shall show you the way of the Pipe , and all will become clear .
Thanks Dr C
Your counselling alone is doing wonders, believe me! π
**pulls up a chair
Heh, having read the Park announcement on .con, one has to laugh.
A whole article of calling him ‘Chu’ ends by ‘He prefers to be known as ‘Ju’.
(and why would he not just have Park as his shirt name rather than ‘J.Y. Park’ ? Do we intend to sign another Korean?)
Also, from then on, there’s only one Park so no need to distinguish from the Manky one.
…we’ve only got one Park!
Dr C @ 249 – quality quackery – made one of my embryonic HT “scenes” redundant but your diagnostic reports were majestic, well played.
The Chemical Brothers @ various posts – having difficulty controlling my laughter and therefore getting “quizical” looks from my fellow commuters. All this, and a new number 9. Better than a bank holiday, this.
Zico
To tell the truth, I hacked into your PC and plagarised it…..
Open Letter to the DLL Board Directors,
As a passenger on this express of ‘speed’, I feel a cause for concern at these recent events. The shock of Wolfies speedoes (thankfully softened by a fine cocktail from the CMC) and the stink of moose (not as softened) was bad enough, but there are greater concerns.
From my vantage point in the caboose, it appears – at the time of derailment – that the driver had his eyes on the fine Arsenal Ladies’ performance and not the tracks ahead. I believe such neglect was the source of said derailment.
I sincerely hope you address these concerns in your hiring of a new driver. Please assure that he is of ‘super-quality’ and not ‘supper-quality’ like the official HT dog.
Sincerely and thank you,
the caboose is ahead of spurs
PS: I must add a short compliment to the staff at the bar in the midst of such great distress. Their performance and boisterous singing was admirable.
Ok Goonertown @268 :-
1. place one hand firmly on the small end of the pipe ( leaving the other hand free to carry on drinking ) .
2. place large amount of Californian in the big end .
3. place small end of pipe in mouth in the same way you might greet a lady’s nipple , and then breathe in rapidly .
4. ensure all inhalations are circling around the ankle area before breathing out . Repeat according to mental strength .
5. even in circumstances of direst emergency , never put big end of Pipe into mouth . This might cause an instant coma , and certainly a bit of a burnt tongue requiring Bonjela
Bon Chance Mon Ami .
If we confirm Mertesacker and Santos then all I see missing from a successful (albeit very late for everyones liking) summer business is a playmaker.
The team will have gotten rid of the worst deadweight everyone was complaining about (Denilson, Traore, etc) and the wantaways. Replaced quite well where necessary in my opinion (bar Cesc)
Gervinho for Nasri (net 12m)
Santos for Clichy (net 0)
Jenkinson for Eboue (net 2)
Park for Bendtner (probably net 0)
? for Cesc (net 35 so far)
and strengthened where neccessary with TV (like a new signing!) and Mertesacker so Squillaci never sees anything but the Carling Cup as I even think Miquel will now be the 5th choice cb. If Frimpong is the real deal which I really think he is then we also have cover for Song.
So…. given the glaring question mark above and the huge net cash we still have (close to 50 m) from all the business is there any reason we shouldn’t sign Sneijder? That seems like a perfect signing of a world class player and as close as a replacement to Cesc as we will find and even a little finger to ManU who failed to sign him.
CG – Mertesacker is an experienced player but doesn’t fit our system IMO, its just like Squillaci. He was experienced and capped but didn’t fit the english game.
He’s slow and won’t deal with the high line. A defensive change of approach will be needed.
TABS – I’ve heard of this remedy before!
I thought you had to be a millionaire with no responsibilities for this to work! π
Saying that I do need to find more time for this kind of treatment, even if it’s every so often! π
**Puff puff
aaah!
(See you on the other side)!
Where is M Villa, or even M People would do in midfield at this stage. I imagine arsene is in a room somewhere with a stetson and a bottle of whiskey shouting Hit Me as Ivan fires names of players at him…
BG – I guess Clichy fitted in the middle of your title headings for each group?
Experienced but wading!
Park has Korean Army DNA….Yes I will go back there one day, it has always been my dream to shoot a north korean in the face..
Yeah Goonertown I was trying to be kind to Clichy since I still think he and Kolo were great Arsenal players in their time and class acts as opposed to the other two recent Man City transfers who were complete and utter c***s.
Goonertown @278 – Ah , well played . Report back when you can see Lucy in the sky with Diamonds .
Noel @279 and @281 π
Bearded @276 – Agree fully with your reasoning , but wouldn’t go for Schneider even if we could afford him . Too much of a luxury player in my opinion . The more I read about this M’vila he’s the guy i want , though never seen him play π Still hopeful that the Bendtner deal might include an incoming player .
However Clive is right , all analysis redundant until thursday .
Snir @277 ,
Didn’t you read Dr C’s analysis @249 ?
Get thee back to the treatment table . π
DLL ltd will never forgive me if I allow patients , currently under my care , to leave their beds .
Dear Joshua @ #274
I believe I outlined our driver’s credentials in my previous letter to Harsha.
To re-confirm, our driver is of the required super-quality having been originally trained (sic) by LRT and then re-trained by the DLL team.
He was in no way responsible for any of the events on Sunday. He has always behaved professionally, he has the necessary mental strength and we are not looking for any new signings in that department.
We are, however, now seeking new employees for the middle of the train, especially creative ones. Feel free to submit your CV c/o Dr.Feelgood along with a brief letter outlining what you would bring to our compnay should you wish to consider such a position.
Yours sincerely,
Edwin
π
zico @ #272
Enjoy your ‘bank holiday’ mate π
Pint on the bar for you. Tabs has the pipes.
Thanks TABS, though not sure about any incoming players from Wolfville up on the M6 for B52 according to the recent rumours!
I wouldn’t even take free gold from that scum, but I’m sure bendy will pass up the offer to be managed by penis head!
BG@ 282 – I concur!
tabs 283.
Shawcross? No thanks. π
Wolfie (I/we believe that I/we have your special permission to call you that) π
I think TGLM would really approve of the following pics on Pravda:
http://www.arsenal.com/news/news-archive/chu-young-park-picture-gallery
Let’s hope he plays as well as his potential to be GLM porn.
With all due respect, etc., etc.
Afternoon good fellows.
Seems like the transfer market thingy has finally opened and were not wasting any time in bringing in all that we need.
I can’t understand why it’s only open for two days?
ah well, let’s make hay while the sun shines and all that.
A round for the lads on the bar pleaes squire.
I’ve got about a thousand drinks to catch up on.
TS – of course you can call me Wolfie , Sugar , and yes Lucy Nutcrackerjee is already negotiating the merchandising rights for our new No. 9 π
*pops back in*
74 Animal.
Relegation battle?
And you’re all for it??????????????
seriously gents. I think we need to find a better hiding place for the keys to the CMC. Wolfie obviously doesn’t care who goes rumidging around in his speedos π
Back to the drinks.
Ollie and Goonertown – Of course no Stokies . Sorry , if I misled . I’m still rather hoping the Prince of Denmark will end up at Everton .
Can’t believe Bendy’s ego will allow him to sign for Pubis and the Neanderthals .
H2H – I’m a refined sort of chap , no animals in my speedoes π
Prof TES,
I appreciate your investigation and assurances into the matters in hand. I am sure you will treat them gently. I’m also confident that the appropriate prescriptions shall be given to the driver and accompanying staff.
Would you be so kind as to give more details as to the requirements of the position in the middle? As I currently reside in the caboose, would my move to center be considered to be like a new signing?
Regards,
Joshua
PS: For those concerned for the safety of the HT dog, I assure you that he is not a Labrador.
Nice work Dr C @ 249 π
Snir, we conceded 53% of our goals from set pieces last season. I think a tall experienced center back was needed – No complaints from me if Mertesacker is the one
TV can cover him for pace
In any case, I’m sure he is better than Djourou
TABS – On that that note, I hope the POD ends up at Barca! Boom boom! (Sorry, I’ll grab my pipe!) π
Harsha @ 297 – I concur!
Steals 300!!
And in !! Good post Harsha .
Goonertown – I heard the POD for Iniesta and 10 mill .
*takes another tug *
Shameless H2H , but I’ll buy you a beer all the same π
Get thee from my sight , Wolfie .
Honestly , he hears The Village People are gonna be our new midfield care of Noel@279 , and gets all over excited .
Down boy !!
@ wolfgang **drops his pipe in excitement
What’s this about moose cr*p on the rails? It can’t be much worse than llama cr*p, surely?
And I think a song is in order for our new No.9
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=36lWAcY9IXE
8ball – much more insidious , unfortunately , keeps coming back .
Llama cr*p can be used to fire the engines , as I’m sure the good Lonestar will testify π
Phew, all caught up.
Excellent. excellent, interviews, lettrs and diagnosis’ above, hats off gentlemen. In this week when knee jerk reactions have taken on can can proportions, it’s an honour to come here and just have a laugh with you.
So a new number nine! South Korea must be the most recreational friendly countries on the planet…..
How many Parks have they got over there?
Cheers for the beer Wolfie.
Wolfie’s pleasure H2H .
Right off to see who we’ve signed in the last hour . Cheers chaps .
Snir.
Not sure how you can compare (or should that be comPer) Mertesacker to Squallici.
Maybe a change in defencive tactics is just what the doctor ordered, The high line can be pretty sucidal as we’ve seen recently. Maybe it’s time to play deeper and hit teams on the break, with the pace in our team that seems to me a perfectly viable option.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BoXu6QmxpJE&ob=av2e
Bit of Wang Chung for the Chu Young…
Time for me to hit the bar too.
This catching up, has taken up all my time,
was well wurf it. π
Heh Joshua @ #296
On behalf of The Professor, you would be ALANS π
Wolfie @ #292
Love it and double heh! π
I’ll fetch my pipe and tenderly stroke its bowl …. oo err missus π³
(Shouts in his sleep)
We need an AMC!! We need a DM if we don’t get an AMC!
We need to fire Colin Lewin!!
This sedation isn’t working too well π
Some aspersions being cast on the reputation of the driver of the HT.
glennw, rest assured, we will have our best legal minds applied to this particular problem (when they are no longer out of them).
Joshua @ 296 – are you really sure you want a position “in the middle”?
Any more signings (for Arsenal, not the HT) ?
Snir, Have a beer. The real kind. π
I’m hearing 2 more signings by tomorrow.
Get ready for this – ANOTHER centre half and a midfielder…
Why the fuck did we wait until now? Could it be that the board was convinced by the OT result???? If so, they’re absolutely daft.
@zico
No, probably not. I rather enjoy the view from the rear (of the HT, of course). And the burden to perform again and again may be too much for me.
Haven’t heard of any new signings, but there’s a possibility Bendtner will stay so that will be ALANS.
TS @ 290 – he’s got a good death stare hasn’t he? We can set him and TV5 on any cu*ts like Shawcross and reduce them to snivelling wrecks in the tunnel.
Jack the lad on twitter:
“On the last day of the transfer window I have decided that I would like to move..from the physio room back on the Emirates pitch please!”
Get well soon.
Nurse Wolfie!!! What the HELL are you playing at you silly girl?
I go out for a rather pleasant 3 hour drinkypoos and meal, and come back to find, despite my implicit instructions, you have allowed a patient to emerge from a coma. And what were you doing?? Out the back having a fag!
Inject him immediately, you know his very life is in danger right now? Imagine he ingested any more moose shit, replied to IDKA or, heaven forbid, read a “Fabregas returns to Arsenal” rumour??!!
For your professional incompetence you shall receive the paddling punishment; tonight’s session is cancelled.
Oi! Catalan! Stop pretending to be me!
I see a number of budding young applicants looking for work with D L Ltd *
Be warned that the selection exercise is rigorous in the extreme – the initial interview – which is competency based – will consist of the following:
1. Being placed at eye level with Wolfgang Smallballs speedos and asked not to blink for 120 seconds.
2. Selecting one outfit from Wolfgang’s extensive wardrobe and then performing an Olympian Mexican Cartwheel in the Boardroom. This may be filmed for training purposes.
3. Herding 3 eplileptic Llamas into and out of the medicine cabinet.
Those candidates who successfully negotiate this initial assessment will then be subject to a further interview, and role playing exercise, which will involve tickets, currency and the Grope Method. We cannot divulge any more information at this time due to commercial sensitivity.
Only those of a strong constitution should apply.
* Due to a recent cultural dispute, we cannot currently employ any resident of North America without international clearance.
If we seal this mertsaker deal…Bolton can fuck right off!
GT – We already did.
Werder Bremen already confirmed it.
They also confirmed the two clubs have negotiated all summer which means we want two CBs.
I’m hearing another CB is expected to sign.
NURSE!!!!
Dear Arsene
Now that you’ve got the hang of this spending gig. Please please please make us all very happy (ish) with you again by signing someone rather special in midfield.
NB – Yossi does not qualify for this description.
Thanks ever so.
Dr.
Can we have a little chat before the nurse comes back? Do you think that AW will change his formation if he doesn’t find a special player in midfield?
Benayoun just tweeted this (in Hebrew) –
“Supposed to fly to London tomorrow morning and try to agree with one of the clubs that have been mentioned.”
SG – Nice one
…and sticking with the playlist:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=He82NBjJqf8
Granada (promoted La Liga club) in talks with Arsenal to loan Chamakh.
NB52 to stay?
Snir… please not Benayoun. Ok, but not a wow signing.
Yes, I would like us to go to 4-4-2. Back to the days of The Invincibles – Pace and power. Really do think it’s the way to go, especially without Cesc.
Ooops… here she comes….
Hmmm…Joe Cole is hardly a replacement for Hazard and Yossi didn’t want to go there! Hmmm?
And yes, I’d prefer NB52 to stay rather than Chamakh – at least there’s a chance he would score, especially in a 442 formation.
Please Arsenal; make some more enquiries so Lille can replace Hazard
I agree Dr.
I said yesterday that we need top players not average and Yossi is average.
I love the last day of the window π
Would any club out there be willing to take a cut of 30 mil to replace Hazard? We’ve got 14 hours to make this happen and that way we can put Yossi on a bus to shite heart lane to help the bus stop get their little Croatian
Come on anybody please!
(Pipe please!)
**inhale** aaah!
Got yer!
Right then, Snir, me lad – back to bed with you! There’s a good boy.
Nursie will wake you up in 36 hours.
Whatever happened to Chamakh anyway? His burnout is lasting awfully long!
GT – From what I’ve heard Hazard doesn’t view Arsenal as a step up in his career, he’d rather stay at Lille and make his dream move (although he said he wanted to play at Arsenal, things changed) to RM to play under the tutoring of his idol – Zidane.
Dr.
‘But I don’t wanna’!!!! π
F*ckin’ unbelievable! Since when did patients have any say in their treatment?
Right then son, we can do this the easy way or the hard way. Nurse, go fetch the paddle.
My pipes getting cold, I’ve got better things to do than arse around here.
F*ckin’ unbelievable! Since when did patients have any say in their treatment?
Right then son, we can do this the easy way or the hard way. Nurse, go fetch the paddle.
My pipe’s getting cold, I’ve got better things to do than arse around here.
I agree to go back to the patient bed under one condition!
A TV with SSN and a laptop with twitter!
Damned tremors….
Re: Dr. Z @324: As an unpaid North American consultant, I think it only right and proper that Mexico be excluded from North America, Mexicans being among the best MC suppliers, as well as “of a different culture” than the remainder of the continent. Also, Salma Hayek is a Mexican, need I remind you?
GT@340, Google “Chamakh las vegas swedish”
Bernard!!! Blimey! Many thanks for that!! Not sure whether to be proud of him or not!
Fool.
8ball. Ooooo…. Salma. Motion passed, surely?
Trev @ 77 – we’re cool
Top read lads – PMSL at most of it π
Bernard-Well that could explain it; I hear those Swedish models go all night!
But seriously, just having your name linked to something like that must be a strain in itself! (no pun intended)
That and the fact RVP was scoring for fun post Jan!
Snir @318 – I can see that the odd wink , the shape of a finely turned heel , a kind reassuring word , and the glow of a rouged smile just isn’t working .
It’s an altogether harsher regime for you now my boy . Bed baths and restraints . Hell , there’s nothing else for it , I’m going to have to put my flat shoes on .
Now any more wanton transfer speculation from you , and in this regard I will especially be on the lookout for phrases such as “we need … ” and ” I’m hearing…” will be met with the most extreme of medical responses . I kid ye not , now get back to bed , lights out , and no reading under the covers .
Dr C @322 – I apologise Dr , but would respectfully suggest that the anaesthetic needs to be adjusted to “knock out an elephant” strength . The impulses of this patient remain very strong and I would suggest a course of reconditioning just to see him through until thursday , whereupon I anticipate full recovery .
I admit the fags , but can I still have the paddling punishment ?
Joshua@321 – Jack’s the Man ! – have a beer on me .
Dr Feelgood @324 – Excellent stuff π π . A busy day indeed for DLL Ltd , when Edwin turns up we need a full Board meeting to discuss the following :-
1. Driver Accreditation .
2. Mousse sh*t difficulties and its termination .
3. New recruits and whether we have enough middle-men .
4. Delusional passengers who insist that i was wearing polka dot Speedoes when I was in fact wearing my 2002 double winning gold and blue pair . We may need to regulate individual CMC intakes .
5. New supplier contracts from PIK and Harsha ( secret supplies) .
Now then , who have we signed ?
Phillipe Auclair saying Marvin Martin is the midfielder we’ll sign.
Can play both in the middle and out on the wing and has lots of assists.
He had 17 assists last season (as much as Cesc had in 41 games as opposed to the 36 games Cesc played), but he rarely scores.
He scored only 7 career goals.
To be honest I don’t really mind if he doesn’t score a single goal if he gets 20 assists.
Sorry 352 is of course Wolfie π³
I give up !!!! DOCTOR !!!!!
I won!!!
I have ze mental strength!
It’s okay, Nurse. It can all get a bit confusing sometimes.
Here’s a campari and soda for you, and a nicely replenished pipe for your good friend TABS.
Dr T, could you take over please? Snir has been restrained, but is beginning to babble; Cesc played in both 41 games and 36 games last season??? No wonder the poor lad wanted to go home for a bit of sunshine. Vitamin D. Nothing like it. That reminds me, could check on our Ricketts patient too? Haven’t heard a peep out of him recently. Beginning to wonder if we shouldn’t call in the vet from the Noah Carriage.
Anyway, I’ll leave it in your capable hands. I’m going to sit down with young TABS and Nurse Wolfie and have a damned good smoke.
Wolfie, I’m an old softie…. go fetch the paddle again.
π
LOL!
Martin – 41 Apps, 17 Assists.
Cesc – 36 Apps, 17 Assists.
excellent stuff Dr C π π
Snir , top stuff from you as well π
Tabs, zico, TS, Catalan – various above, brilliant stuff. π π
And Dr C @249 – an extra mention, absolutely superb. π
Now, apologies for my late arrival and leaving you somewhat understaffed Dr C.
I fear our patient, Snir, has crossed the line and become some kind of delinquent schizophrenic.
As all reasonable requests to remain quiet and in bed have met with non-complinace, not to say down right defiance, I feel disciplinary action is now the only course of action open to us.
In addition to your paddle, with your agreement, I suggest we ask TS and Smallballs to take Snir in hand, and force hin through a super intensive course of ball enlargement – to the point where he is quite simply UNABLE to rise from his bed.
I have to rush off again briefly, but feel free to commence treatment / punishment as you see fit. π
Andre Santos in London
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L2RfPuCdh7A&feature=player_embedded#
Oops, Dr C, I see you are on a break. I’ll do my best.
You can’t stop me :)!!!
(starts running! Makes a run for the exit doors!!!)
Fuck it, Dr T. Where the little sod going to go? We’re on a train
Pass the bowl, TABS. Come and join us, Dr T. I think we may have a long 24 hours ahead of us.
Trev , I have spent all afternoon giggling inanely . I fear your appearance may finish me off completely π
Geuli’s gone completely mad. I was afraid this would happen. He’s running for the doors !
Wolfie can you grab him by the back door ??!!?? Quick man.
I try and bring him down with a swift kick in the passage, but he’s getting away !!
TABS, Trev; from such high authorities, thank you very much!
Care to join me in a refreshing bottle of Catalan white?
Dr C – It’s been a long day , here’s your pipe , here’s your beer …. now where’s that paddle ?
I’ll be giving you Doctors (and Nurse!!!) an easy day tomorrow. I’ll be in school from 3:30 P.M ET – Meaning I’ll miss the last 2.5 hours of the window!!!
Dr C , a Catalan white is just the job – Cheers ! π
I think I will Dr C – this madness is all too much for me.
Leave Geuli to his own mania, I say. I’ve done all I can.
Sometimes the secret of helping someone is knowing when to stop trying.
Snir, I wash my hands. I hope you are still with us tomorrow evening my friend.
Now that bottle, Catalan . . . . π
Trev , stop it . π π π
Come and have a glass .
I’ll always be with you lads Trev.
I love this train!
Great people and a professional staff.
What more do you need ?!
Wolfie…. you didn’t leave the paddle inside the patient again did you???
Ah I see you already have – Cheers and your good health Gentlemen .
Dr C@376 – I thought the patient was running a bit funny . Oh well .
No paddle here! No chance whatsoever!
Trev, Tabs, Zico, TS, and anyone else out there, leave your alter egos to have a good smoke and come join me in this rather wonderful Penedes Parraleda.
It’s been a long day, but a surprisingly successful one. Just one more special signing tomorrow and the HT will be well and truly back on track.
Cheers, lads.
Holic… hope the consult went well.
Dr.
Will I be able to go back to the regular cabins with the rest of my holics friends after the window?!?!
Please???
And so the HT continues to rumble towards the night.
The staff settle down to a quiet drink, leaving a frenzied, desparate young passenger to his own devices.
His devices are a phone, a laptop, and a set of balls into which he gazes for inspiration, between episodes of frantic hammering at his keyboard, as smoke squirts upwards, at regular intervals, from his ears.
This is life on the HT mkII, summer of 2011. π
Trev@382 – reduced to tears here π
Dr C @380 – Marvin and M’vila and we’re done . Cheers .
Snir @381 – we are now off duty .
I agree TABS, Trev needs to quit his day job to pursue a career in comedy π
Some quality drinks this evening. Have a beer (or whatever you’re drinking) on me.
Cheers, Joshua π
Dr.
Can I consume Alcohol in my condition?
Very nice piece about our beloved AW
http://www.mirrorfootball.co.uk/opinion/columnists/oliver-holt/Oliver-Holt-Manchester-United-Arsenal-8-2-Dont-write-off-Arsene-Wenger-article793401.html
Attention doctors:
Please increase the dosage for Sir Snir (just joking). I appreciate your passion, Snir, I’m also excited that we are starting to get our act together.
Whether we should of been engaged sooner is water under the bridge at this point. I still believe a deeper, well-rounded squad is better than splashing $30mil (not to mention the wages) for one player where all are chips are on one guy consistently performing at a high level every game. Cesc was great but he only played in 2/3rds of the Prem games the last three years which doesn’t work at this level. It sounds like most don’t like the Benayoun idea, fine, but this guy has a motor that I think would help us. Probably won’t get him but I view him as part of the overall depth solution and not the sole answer to our shortcomings. I think we have enough cash to even go in for another central defender besides Mertsacker (if true) b/c Johan has just not played well this year. Looks like a midfielder is next.
Lastly, I thought the RVP interview is what Arsene, the Board and the supporters needed to hear after that debacle. To paraphrase, yes, we were short, but so were they, no excuses. Nice to see our captain doing the tough interviews and not just the victory laps.
Enjoyed all the comments.
Hats off again tabs for the comic relief…..
A nice drop of bowmore and a soothing contribution to the jukebox:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-VOYcRXzs1Y
Well Bugger me. I am still in a French field although not as pissed as last night.
It is Like waiting for a bus. Nothing new for years and all of a sudden we are buying everyone.
Happy days.
I really really really love good red wine. What a wonderful invention. Up there with the wheel in my humble opinion.
Christ
I leave the bar for a few hours and chaos ensues.
Gan Gan Goolie Goolie Goolie has obviously completetely ingnored not only my advice,but his Doctors and Nurses as well.!!
Perhaps we could send him sedated,up to Canada to spend a w/end with the Moose crap merchant and his fishing Rods.
I certainly feel that SG would benefit immensely from a w/end experience with a big/long stiff Rod.!!
It would certainlt make his eyes water,and take his mind off all the transfer speculation he seems addicted to.
TS @ 205
Good to see you back,glad you liked the Brigadier from 1896.
He may have to make further appearances to unravel WSB the 6th’s
lineage.
CG @ 249, Brilliant.
Tabs/Wolfie/Zico/Trev et al,
I defy any other Club to get an 8-2 shellacking,and find the chutzpah to take over their fav Bar,and apart from one or 2 grumpy/miserable fuckers,keep it awash with madness and laughter.
I doff my cap to you all.
Cheers
The Sweeper.
PS some cheeky fucker has set up a Gooner suicide watch phone line.
The number is 0800-828282.!!
Brilliant.!!
We dish it out,so we have to take it as well.!!
Attn: DL LTD Management
From: Lonestar Farms, LLC.
Dear Sirs,
It has come to the attention of the Managing Member of Lonestar Farms, LLC a Mr. Lonestar Gooner (hereinafter, “Lonestar”) that certain events of the past weekend, namely a certain Category 2/3 partial derailment event, may have been attributed to the presense of certain ruminent dung on the undercarriage of a certain Happy Train Mark II (hereinafter, “HT Mk II”). Furthermore a certain “Dr. Feelgood” (medical bona fides uncertain) has reportedly alleged the presence of “epileptic llamas” to wit comment supra at 324.
Please be advised that Lonestar and Lonestar Farms, LLC only provide “comfort” grade llama stock – epileptics, schitzophrenic, ManUre / Spud lovers, and stingy llama are sent immediately, via quality control, to the farm glue factory. Furthermore, Lonestar can assure you that llama dung is composed of green pellets and not black goo.
My client finds such aspersions injurious to his livelihood and requests an immediate cessation of such comments and allegations. Furthermore, my client bemoans the recent “anti-North American” bent displayed among paying customers on the HT Mk II of which my client is one. He reminds DL LTD Management that, but for the actions of Americans – Silent Stan excepted, the DL LTD and all its properties and employees would now be under the suzerainty of fascists.
Finally, Lonestar wishes the DL Ltd Management review the FFL manefest to identify and punish those HT Mk II customers with the temerity to select, play, and “captainize” a player known as “Shrek” and any other members of Satan’s Red Army. My client trusts that the valuable relationship between Lonestar Farms and DL LTD will be strengthened and be a source for future comity.
Feel free to contact me at your earliest convenience regarding these matters.
Yours in Service,
James Dewey, Esq.
Dewey, Cheatam & Howe L.L.P
Is it Tuesday, yet?
Cheers Clive, enjoyed your Brigadier post too.
Snir – thanks, but you played a good part too π
And BtM – thanks for the kind words. High praise indeed, sir.
Well, long time no see everybody.
Been keeping my powder dry this last little while. Doesn’t seem to be any shortage of powder in here though.
You see, I told you Arsene still knows, and even the disbelievers are now stunned, in the wake of a quite fantsatic 24 hours.
Some of us on the board are pretty stunned too, after a rather fourth musketeer performance from Arsene, during which he quite literally ripped the cash from our pockets and went on a pan European spree, the like of which I have never before seen.
So impressed was Lady Nina, yes, she still accompanies me to meetings despite no longer having any direct influence, that she went into quite a little swoon at Arsene’s rapier like thrusts into the market.
She told me that she is very pleased to have the worrying hole at the back now plugged by a simply huge German.
She is very excited by the idea of a Brazilian on the left-hand side, and a young eager boy, out to make a name for himself, on the right.
I have been concentrating more on penetration up the front, and am pleased to have added a little asian energy and technique to some good old english speed and trickery.
The only thing Lady Nina still craves is a bit of French creativity in the central area, and her summer will be complete.
Tally Ho, boys. The Arsenal are coming again !
Mr. Hill-Wood, sir –
Your comfort-llama invoice is now 30 days past due. Your prompt attention to this matter is greatly appreciated.
As you know, the llama do not live on bread alone…
Surely the climax is near…
Lonestar Gooner,
here at Arsenal FC money does not grow on trees.
It is my policy, at the beginning of every month, to put all invoices in Arsene’s magic hat, and the first invoice drawn out, is the one to be paid that month.
If you do not stop pestering me, I have to inform you that your own invoice will not even make the hat.
If this reply does not meet with your satisfaction, I suggest you fuck off.
From Ants and Hornets to King Kong and Godzilla: The Story of Arsenal’s Summer, 2011 (tentative title)
Songs from the Caboose:
On a recent Sunday afternooner
The happy train did face derailment
A scoreline broke the heart of every gooner
It was such to bring the ride’s curtailment
Doomy fog decends upon the riders
With the most foul stench of a moose’s dung
This bar almost buckles to outsiders
Whose foul cries shall forever stay unsung
But fear not for the doctors have come back
Bringing a cabinet full of happy wares
With signings come to bolster our attack
This train needs but a few minor repairs
Do not be concerned for the loss of time
For Spurs remain quite far back down the line
Nice one Joshua. π
And it’s goodnight from him.
To: Mr. Peter Hill-Wood, Chirman
From: Mr. James Dewey, Esq.
re: Comfort-Llama Invoice Past Due Notice
Dear Mr. Hill-Wood,
Please know that my client Mr. Lonestar Gooner (hereinafter, “Lonestar”) will not tolerate such bellicose rhetoric in discussions regarding this matter. Lonestar has it on good account that your organization’s coffers are stuffed to the gills and, since you have not seen fit to spend such new-found largesse on strengthening the players of said organization, you and the other directors stand to profit handsomely.
Such miserly behavior is not befitting a man of your stature and upbringing.
If you choose to continue to your current behaviors vis-a-vis current and future Lonestar Farms, LLC invoices, we will be forced to make complaint to the local magistrate. Such an action could also see the “inadvertent” release of detailed footage of the results of your behaviors with the “comfort” llamas. It would be most unfortunate if such material was made available to the prurient interests of slack-jawed Spuds-supporters.
I trust an amicable resolution will be forthcoming.
Yours in the service of all things truly righteous and holy,
James Dewey, Esq.
Dewey, Cheatam & Howe L.L.P.
It’s official, I’ve read every News Now Arsenal story posted in the last 24 hours, sickening I know (just joking). Hopefully confirmation tomorrow of the new three along with a couple of more deals. Get in.
Gedo, I’ll pray for you, boss.
BMD.
Besides the three in, who the most likely to sign next? Is there more than one?
Hey Gedo, depending on which paper/website you read, we have put in bids for Marvin Martin, MVila, Malouda, Alex, Benayoun, etc…Of course your guess is as good as mine but my guess is either Martin or Mvila, and Alex might come…
Carib beer for all of the gooners in the bar as a toast to the board’s newfound ability to listen to the call for players at last…
Any jokes?
Btw, I think we should “park” any chants about eating dogs by the way, don’t want to mistaken for Scum United ‘fans’…
LG – I have to say that BMBD is pure genius.
Gedo, nothing I love more than transfer deadline day :).
Latest rumor – Huntelaar for NB52.
I’d be delighted with that. Always rated Huntelaar, and actually wanted him in January 2010 when Arshavin was playing up front.
That twat $Amir keeps spewing Goatse vomit against our beloved MGR and squad any chance he gets…. Nothing personal but 1) I hope his checks bounce and 2) I think we may have gotten to the bottom of what’s under th ol’ HT mk II….(yeah it’s personal)
Snir, and everyone else I’m sorry but, I agree nothing more griping than a transfer deadline. But, huuntlear? I’m not sure if I’d rather have him than (the player formerly known as) MC29…. or Nick and his pink boots to be honest, talk about wages and transfer fees that wouldn’t be necessary, IMO. Would rather get drogba, for a reported 6mil, which is ludicrous ( in a good way) or Benny ( just for cover).
No Huntelaar please…even if he was the first player to score at the Emirates….Is Drogba for sale? Last I heard they were sending Lukaku out on loan. No way Lukaku is as young as he says he is though. He looks the same age as Drogba already!
Drogba for 6M?! Even as a weird rumor that doesn’t sound logical.
I’ve always rated Huntelaar and when it comes to AW, I always believe that he can put players back on right track.
CoR – They can’t send him on loan due to EPL regulations. A player can’t play with 3 teams in the same season. Already played with Anderlecht and Chelsea so his Stoke loan is off.
Hmm, maybe they’re planning on selling Drogba as he lies unconscious in the hospital then…would be funny if he woke reading red and white π
How are things today Snir? Good on you for putting that SV in his place. Is he for real? Whatever you’re drinking it’s on me…
*woke up wearing the red and white*
Just checking in before bedtime.
Is Bentdner still with us?
Snir, just read that the other day and thought the same thing.
CoR, in a sick way yeah it’d be funny
Lefty, yes, news I read was dad said it a very very good day. Not sure what to make of it but, also heard he may stay and chamakh may go on loan
Thanks, Snir. I do what I can to help the cause. I agree with CoR regarding the Park verses. We Gooners don’t eat our own.
Here’s to the end of the transfer window, a bit of Interlull, and a glorious return to form after the break.
Make it so, Arsene. Make it so.
BMD.
Yeah, Bendtner’s still with us man…Does anyone think him in front of RVP could work? Or has he had enough chances?
Btw, do you gooners already know the real reason for Chamakh’s lack of performance starting from around last year Christmas?
Don’t you think it should be BMBD? I mean BMD looks to much of Barca must destroy to my eyes and I don’t like the look of that!! π
CoR, here’s one for you-
*A duck walks into a bar*
Duck: So, you got any grapes?
Bartender: No, we don’t.
*Duck walks out of the bar, around the block, and enters the same bar*
Duck: So, you got any grapes?
Bartender: No, jackass. This is a bar, and we only sell drinks. Now get the hell out of here, and, if you come back in here, I’ll nail your ass to the wall.
*Duck walks out of the bar, around the block, and enters the same bar*
Duck: So, you got any nails?
Bartender: NO!
Duck: Hmmm. So, you got any grapes?
BMD.
Snir,
You’re a man of no mean intellect.
BMBD it is.
BMBD.
Guys.
Something just hit me!
I remember that while I was watching the World Cup last season (watched every single match), I noticed a player on the South Korea NT who really impressed me and I was fairly surprised as I only knew Ji Sung Park and Lee Chung Yong.
It was number 10. He had good link up play, technique, finishing and shot.
I just stumbled across a youtube video of that number 10, turns out his name is Park Chu Young!!!
I’m suddenly a lot more upbeat about that transfer!
LG, that’s a regular grapes of wrath story there man…you nailed the delivery though
*hides behind llamas*
CoR-
I think the lack of cutting edge for our Chamack-attack has to be malaria-related. Seriously.
BMBD.
LG – ‘You’ve got mail’.
CoR-
Har, har. π
BMBD.
LG – If that’s Malaria I’d like to get it too.
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/football/news/8254163/Premiership-footballer-blackmailed-over-Las-Vegas-sex-orgy-with-Swedish-women.html
Swedish women π
Snir, thanks boss. I’ll have to check it in the morning when I get in the office.
Night all. Onwards and upwards.
BMBD.
I can’t blame him though, we’re talking about hot Swedish blondes! Not surprised he bent it in like Beckham….
He was supposed to be our Plan B and when he started fading it was terrible to see. I’m hoping he comes back this season, we’ll need as many of the gunners firing on all cylinders this time around.
So uh, how does one go about buying tickets for the HT Mk II? I’ve been stowing away in baskets for a while now but I’m always scared of being thrown off by the conductor. Lucky for me I can hold my breath in the face of adversity indefinitely…
Guys, I would appreciate if we would take a lead from the Telegraph and not name names.
Pretty basic principle at stake here. You are responsible for what you type, even ‘anonymously’ online.
I have heard no conclusive proof of the identity of that player.
Thank you.
Sorry Holic, please delete our posts then.
Still kinda psyched that the player I was impressed with at the WC was actually Park Chu Young (a continuing post to @422) !!
Stoke agreed a fee for Cameron Jerome.
What does that say about their move for NB52?
Have a feeling NB52 will either be us or sign for a team abroad. Not gonna stay in the EPL.
Morning all. Strong black coffee, please.
The golf course awaits.
I’m a bit surprised that we aren’t linked with Keisuke Honda. I know he polarizes opinions but Wenger did rate him quite highly, last year at least, post-WC and his success with CSKA in the Champions league. Seems to have come off the rails this season and is probably a bit too indulgent but I think he’d be a better alternative to Benayoun. Benayoun for me is a bit too similar to Rosicky. Honda could probably try and do a half decent job in the hole. He’s been playing there all his life. Dead-ball skills are top notch as well. Since we aren’t linked with him now, don’t see it happening though but we could’ve considered him.
Ack, sorry about that ‘holic. I don’t want to get this site (or myself) in trouble so you those posts/links should probably be deleted…
http://www.crunchsports.com/category/Soccer/Arsenal-FC-make-enquiry-for-Juan-Manuel-Vargas-201108300045/
I like this guy as well but with the acquisition of Santos seems like it wont happen.
Transfer Deadline Day.
Let it not affect the workday with serious non-stop refreshing of websites.
Strong coffee for all in the bar.
Sooooooooooooooo
Here it goes… Love the deadline day! It’s my last day of insanity!!!
Benayoun is waiting for a connection flight to London.
All sources in Israel believe Spurs will be the team signing him.
Matt Law has just tweeted that we bid for M’Vila, Hazard and Martin and enquired about Arteta.
Would take all 4 to be honest.
Stoke agree fee for Cameron Jerome meaning NB52 won’t be going there.
Will update more soon π
I’m just passing along what I see for you guys to know of course, so no compliments to me, I’ve got an approval from all Doctors of the HT!!!
Matt Law has just tweeted that we bid for MβVila, Hazard and Martin and enquired about Arteta.
Heh, frankly, ANYBODY could tweet that.
That’s one of the reasons I hate twitters: journos are even bigger cunts on that.
Special dose of coffee for you, Snir! Or is that coffee in there?
Dr C? π
OK, I’ll join in then:
http://www.francefootball.fr/#!/news/2011/08/31/090033_honda-le-bon-coup-d-arsenal.html
According to Sky, Honda is having a medical at Arsenal.
Is Whistler at 435 responsible for this rumour?
Now that I’ve read the whole of Whistler’s post, it’s seriously uncanny.
Transfer deadline day…Arsenal will (hopefully) be like Schwarzenegger fighting in a store against Sinbad to buy the Turbo Man we all want.
We might be on Hazardous ground by tonight….Vermaelen’s cousin right?
Any truth in that Vargas story? He sounds hectic…El Loco??? Just what we need, no more Mr. Nice Guy. I would love another mental maverick in our midfield
g-day all last day of the window bit like xmas you hint at what you want and wait to see, the german will be a good buy and hopefuly the Korean will settle into a good back up,the Brazilian does scare me as some do not go well in the EPL time will tell,who ever else we get i hope AW reveiw the squad again in january and look at being active again should be cash still in the pot
CoR – Vargas won’t be coming after we signed Santos. Pretty much the same player.
Honda would be decent, don’t you think? Didn’t see him too much but everybody (and I mean everybody) was talking about him after the WC.
Ollie – I know, but I’m giving Matt the benefit of the doubt that he doesn’t wanna look a complete fool and wouldn’t risk tweeting that without knowing something…. I mean, he doesn’t wanna look a fool, does he (although he can always say bids were rejected but still…) :D?
Dr.C, tabs, Wolfie, PHW, Trev, Lonestar, Joshua, et al
Some quite brilliant posts and exchanges up there, still chuckling as I type π
So glad to see that many are now developing their alter egos and going for it big stylee, Dr.C I’m looking at you!
Snir, you have become a brilliant patient/side-kick to the twin doctors. I can see we’re going to need to put a restraining order on you from now until midnight for fear that you might go bang if the wrong/no players arrive. You may have youth and M.Eastern guile on your side but we have experience, a well stocked CMC and Edwin has just advised me, the security team if required π
To Sweeper Clive @ #392
Ging gang goolie? Hilarious! π
Sorry Snir, that name just might stick like moose cr*p to an HT undercarriage. Perhaps you could develop that into an alter-ego too? π
Cheers one and all. Various drinks on the bar for you all. CMC doors fully open and ‘available’ until the close of the silly window. Should be a very interesting day ahead in the world of The Arse.
UTG!
HOLY FUCK!!
NB52’s father at Stoke’s training ground for talks.
Ollie @ #441,
Heh! Drole and sardonic as usual. Please leave that coffee for Patient Goolie. It’s…er… special π
Snir @ #448
Easy fella. Edwin advises that he now has the Security Team on alert and on the look-out for any unrestrained and/or escaped patients and that their PARS are set to stun. They will shoot on site. Back to your bed please. The Voluptuous C may even make a special appearance and come and tuck you in if you promise to be a good boy and behave properly. You lucky, lucky b*gger π
TS – Where were you yesterday ? You missed out on all the fun!! I think I saw you talking to Zico in one of the cabins while I was running away for Dr. T. π
Dear Snir
FINAL WARNING! The Security Team could do with the target practice.
Regards,
Edwin
Heh Snir! Try to get some rest young man. π
Prof!!!
I got a permission from both Doctors and the Nurse as well!!! Get it together please!!!
Elia has signed for Juve, missed out on that one.
Dear Snir @ #455
Sorry but I have recieved no such communication. Until I get it in writing, the Security team will remain in a state of high alert.
Edwin
Prof, have a look at 373 and 382!!!
Japanese sources claimed that he is in his home country, threating his right foot injury in a hopsital. Keisuke Honda is definetely not going to Arsenal, unfortunately.
Well may Dennis have mercy on our souls.
Pop out of the bar for a few short hours and return to find unpaid bills, lawyersβ letters, orgies with Swedish blondes, patients escaping their enforced bedrest, jokes, drunkenness, llamas, moose poo, fishing rods, speedoes, a horde of illegal substances and all manner of suggestions of lewdness and depravity.
I bloody love this place.
Have a great transfer deadline day folks π
Have a sneaky feeling we’ll get one ‘wow’ signing.
Watch this space.
Why on earth does NB52 wanna move anyway? I mean he thinks he’s one of the best in the world, so how can one of the best in the world play for Stoke!?
Snir – I can’t stop smiling at the thought of the world’s best striker evaaaaaar, holed up in the hole that is Stoke…
How will he manage without all the fancy London nightclubs and flashy blondes???
Maybe he’ll commute π
Morning guys,
So who will be next in to the Emirate conglomerates?
The unreliable Metro are as optimistic as me that Joe Cole to Lille could help free up Hazard!
Cole is hardly as replacement for Hazard, but Cole plus Β£20+ Mill burning a hole in their pockets; could make Lille and Co become forgiving of us slowing stripping away their chances of competing for the French league this season!
For the sake of hope, enjoy!
http://www.metro.co.uk/sport/football/873898-joe-coles-lille-loan-set-to-pave-eden-hazard-transfer-to-arsenal?
Excuse my grammar today guys (appalling). My new eye test is next Monday by the way!
Have to say I’m quite excited at the prospect of getting Martin.
The guy had 17 assists last season. That’s exactly what we need.
Yooosh, I’m heading down to the pub…will dart back in for a drink or two later
γΎγγγοΌοΌ
O.K.
After further thought, I’m more than content with Mertesacker signing.
Keown wasn’t the fastest player but he was brilliant.
Mertesacker has great reviews from every level he’s played at.
We’ll just need to make sure TV will be there to recover or maybe PM will position himself so that he doesn’t need electric pace to recover.
OK Snir, Martin, M’Vila and Hazard, you’ve convinced me, that’ll do.
Though I can hear people moaning from here that we’re buying from the (supposedly shite) French league again.
That French league was part of all of AW’s championships and I don’t remember people complaining then π
And you know what? I can give them so many examples of players from the French league that are magnificent (Drogba anyone?).
Don’t see us getting Hazard though.
I think Martin, M’Vila and Samba.
And I have a sneaky feeling we’ll get Honda.
Snir @ #457
Nice try but a brow beaten Dr.T does not constitute written permission.
The Security Team remain on high alert. Please keep popping the tablets washed down with copious amounts of DLL water.
Trust that clarifies.
Keep safe, Edwin.
Ollie @ #467
No moans from here fella. Anyone over 21 with a sensible head on their shoulders, relatively injury free and with a bit of creativity would qualify as ‘super-quality’ in my book π
Drink on the bar for you. DLL coffee?
Prof!
I listen to my Doctors and my Doctors only.
Dr C. and Dr. T!
They both gave me permission and provided me with the devices with which I am getting non stop updates π
SG – If you recall Mertesacker was very sough after following the World Cup yesterday!
I believe it’s an honour to have him sign and testament that the boss still has his pulling power!
I’ve also been impressed with what I’ve seen of Santos on YouTube. I still havenβt seen his crossing and defending but going forward and technically, he’s a dream!
π
I meant the World cup last year! Lol! Defo cannot put that one down to the eye test!
**reaches for the pipe**
Gt
Pipes @ 10:10??? It must be TDD! I’ll fetch mine…. π
Bendy to Stoke? Bloody Hell. Would be better off sending him in to the Big Brother house, he,d be amongst like minded individuals and probably better footballers too. Vargas is a brute but dont think Arsene would splash on another winger though I like the fact that unlike our dainty wingers he likes to go straight through his opponent than around him. All brewing up quite nicely but am afraid we will miss out on elusive creative midfielder.
Guillem Balauge got one transfer right in Cesc to Barca after 30 years and now he’s making assumptions?!
“Very interesting, Park Chu Young is not the only player #Lille have mispaced. Eden #Hazard has filed a transfer request to force #afc move.”
Don’t mind my last post.
It’s wrong. It’s a fake Guillem Balague account (why on earth would people wanna be Balague?).
@TS – **Still puffing**
why on earth would people wanna be Balague?
Indeed.
And one right? Hardly : even the HT dog would have got Cesc to Barça right.
@SG- Damn the fake GB account! The perpetrator should be shot!
**puffs on pipe**
Besides all, Stoke is a big drop for the G.O.A.T
Ollie – Forgot to write “sarcasm font” when saying he got the Cesc transfer right π
Japanese sources are reporting Honda is on his way from Tokyo to… Paris.
We heard AW is in France, right π ?
I’m sure he can arrange for a medical to be taken place somewhere in France for AFC π
LOL.
Snir @455
cc Prof TES
“Fuck it” (@366) does NOT constitute permission.
Prof, I fully authorise raising security levels. Forceful apprehension will be overlooked by any subsequent medical enquiry.
Patient Gang Goolie, I have been observing your tweets also, and have ordered the very latest finger prosthesises for when yours inevitably drop off.
As to your enquiry about alcohol..yes, I would recommend it to you. At least it’s a depressant. Coffee and the CMC are what you are banned from.
Dr C.
I didn’t mean that (366) as an approval!
I meant Dr T. saying you’ll leave me to my own mania and devices (373, 382)!!
He’s just the craziest player I’ve ever seen.
http://a3.twimg.com/profile_images/1520473584/385530246.jpg
SG@ 483 – If Honda is on his way to france that could also free up Hazard!! π
I love TDD!
Patient Gang Goolie
That was not permission from Dr T, that was him absolving his prefessional responsibilities from an impossible patient.
The good news, Dr T, is that I have acquired a shit load of Ketamine from the Noah Carriage, so if we can catch the bugger we’ll knock hin out good and proper. Assuming security don’t do that first.
Dear Dr.C
cc Dr. T
I would like to thank you for the clarification at #484. It was exactly as I suspected.
Recent pictures of Patient Ging Gang Goolie hunched over an iPAD hard-wired into Twitter and staring into his crystal balls are now afixed to the Security Teams’ PARS.
They have been ordered to seek-out, stun/tranquilize and to return him safely to the Secure Unit until 24:00 hours today.
His guile and possible Mossad training may, however, make his capture a tricky buisness.
Kind regards,
Edwin
You take the fun out of TDD!!!!!! π
God damn it, it’s fucking 6 A.M! I don’t wanna go to bed so I won’t miss any transfers!
Bendtner on Stoke: It’s as close as it possibly can be. I’ve not signed anything, but expect clarification this afternoon.β
SG – Who takes the fun out???? π
@487 – He’s probably gonna land close to the close of the window.
Japan to France is about a 13 hour flight.
Wrote it just for a laugh π
Those damn Doctors!
SSN saying hinting at a MASSIVE signing by UTD.
scratch the saying.
David Ornstein from the BBC – Arsenal’s efforts to sign a midfielder continue (and they are working extremely hard) but no developments to report as yet
Balloteli to Newcastle on loan ?!? WTF???? That would be one hell of a transfer.
From the BBC again – #CFC #AFC A very reliable source has just informed me that Arsene Wenger and Villas-Boas are sat together in Heathrow Terminal 5’s lounge…
Probably because of the Uefa Elite Club Managers’ meeting.
To be honest I’d rather if Bendy stays, he can score goals we all know that and I’m sure everyone can remember the one against Pubis Monsters?
This is driving me crazy now, come Arsenal sign sign sign…
MCM needed Chinese pipes the lot…..
Rude not to…
And in !!!
Sneijder to United seems to be done.
Their website even had a bit of a blip.
Apparently if you go to their website there is a picture of Sneijder for half a second and then it changes to Rooney.
That’s after SSN hinted massive news coming out of OT.
Edwin, you cad!
Sorry about that tabs, Edwin has a bit of a fetsish for numbers π³
Bugger – well in Prof π
What’s all this talk about a Honda then ? Frimpers tearing around on a motorbike ? Scary thought .
Tabs – Itvfootball – Arsenal fans getting excited about the signing of CSKA midfielder Keisuke Honda – his agent says he’s in Japan, not London, and won’t sign
Cheers Ging gang goulie – haven’t your fingers dropped off yet ? π
I’m offski – catch you guys later .
The Doctors? π I must say I’m doing okay on the pipe at the moment! π
I’ve had a thought, if M’villa is a holding midfielder, what becomes of Song and Frimpong and also that creative midfielder we need?
I think our creative midfielder is paramount, and then M’villa would be a luxury signing we so desperately need!
So two major signings in that respect before the transfer window closes would be good!
Anything extra a bonus!
PS: P Mertesaker will be awesome on set pieces! Yay!
O.k that’s it for me.
I’m going to sleep.
Gonna wake up at 6 P.M BST (why do I have the feeling that I’ll miss out on the real TDD fun??????), expecting to see 3 more signings π
Is this the most bizare/mental transfer window ever?
Or is it just that for once we’re expecting Arsenal signings so have to deal with all the other rubbish?
Goodnight Snir, hope you wake up to good news!
Who’s going to keep us informed with all the rumours now though? :s
GT – We had that debate last week π
Apparently M’Vila is more a Viera type that can do a great job in attack as well.
Re the doctors comment – Where have you been!??! You’ll need to over all of the posts’ drinks to know what we’re talking about.
π
Ollie @ #512,
Are you volunteering for that job? π
Ollie – I think I’m gonna go to sleep with SSN in the background π
Can’t miss a thing π
Another quote from Nasri taken from his twitter page:
“This tweet is for the English newspapers – stop trying to make something between me and Arsenal. I love this club and everything around it.”
Thats right!!! π
SG – I had that feeling actually myself. It’s not like Wenger to chase a player so aggressively at that price unless they had something to offer that we needed!
Hope he is more Viera than Diaby if we land him (**reaches for the pipe again**) I love you really AD, just saying!
Sauces close to the canteen tell me this cheese and pickle sandwich is yesterday’s π
I go for lunch and NOTHING has happened? :s
Haha, top post ‘holic π
Also, ‘holic, it may sound mad when this is the last day of the transfer window and there’s a round of internationals, but the French are playing League Cup. AliadiΓ¨re scored 2 last night, and stay tuned for St Etienne vs Bordeaux tonight.
Snir, forget SSN. Go for Arseblog News:
http://news.arseblog.com/2011/08/transfer-deadline-day-arseblog-news-understands/
So it’s a big warm welcome to the TDD sponsered by the Snir Geuli Gang.
No shouting in the bar though please folks, I think we’ve just got the lad to sleep, the excitement has all been a little too much and the resident doctors are keeping an eye on him incase his head explodes.
Sweet dreams young man.
Heh H2H. Drink on the bar for you π
I’m not so sure about that japanesse chappy.
It seems weird to me that we would sell a ferrari and replace it with a Honda.
Why thatnk you TS.
I’ll take my perscription Bloody Mary please.
Good boy H2H…. glad to see someone takes their medicine.
If I see your Ferrari and offer you ze price of a Honda, then you tell me no. It is super obvious…..
Yeah, Dr C.
It’s obvious you’re trying to rip me off.
More medicine all round please guv.
Re: Snowy @461: Is it fact that Stoke has only plain non-blondes? It could be a tonic for strikers suffering from attention deficit disorder. π
Gents, I’m probably in the minority here, but after having a gander around the net I’m still of the opinion that i just can’t get excited over this whole TDD bollox.
It seem to me to be just an excuse fior twats on SSN to act like they’re pluged into the scene by regurgatating heresay and speculation.
What’s even worse is that every no mark with a twitter account get’s quoted and this is somehow supposed to constitute news?
Even the BBC, who are supposeded to be a credible outlet for “news’ get into the festivities with a live text page, informing us with invaluable information such as this;
“Warwick from Calisle via text: “Just seen Lee Bowyer outside Carlisle United’s ground. Could be a possibility?”
Wow, breaking news indeed. A message sent from a Shakespearean character.
It’s pretty silly too business wise, you’ve had two months to get your shit together (take heed Arsenal board) yet you chose to try to do it in the final 24hrs?
It’s tantamont to having a first look at a book the night before your exams or as Arseblog said, doing all your Xmas shopping on the 24th of December at 16:30.
Transfer deadline day???
Bah Humbug.
==============================
I will ofcourse be delighted if we manage to stregnthen our squad and we get everyone we need. So happy in fact, for nexts years proceedings I may even open a twitter account. π
Hondas are reliable though. They never break down π
What’s everyone drinking tonight?
ATG @ 49, Bendy’s always got a goal in his locker. He’s gotten us through a few scrapes in the past too! Would be a shame for him to waste up the M6!
Sorry ATG – I’m going to blame the touch screen pad this time
CoR.
Yeah and they’ve got a good engine, etc, etc.
Latest news is that it was a non starter (all puns intended) anyway.
Hey look at me, I’m following the tweets.
===
GT.
If he’d of brought them (goals) to the pitch, then we wouldn’t be contemplating letting him go.
I always liked Bendy, me, shame he was used as a winger.
Dan Roan on the Beeb says Alex is not leaving Chelsea for Arsenal… π
Sky Sports News understands….. Do you? Do you really?. Sorry but this day is a load of cock…am going to walk the dog/kid/cat….anything that moves I’m fucking walking it..
Noel’s next drinks’s on me.
Meh, bedtime for me I think. The rumours are driving me crazy as well. In any case, “A watched Santa never comes down your chimney with presents” if you catch my drift…
Hopefully when I wake up my milk and cookies will be gone and 2 or 3 new players will be under my Arsenal tree
UTA
Spot on the money, H2H, regarding this transfer window bullshit.
However, here’s a fact:
http://www.arsenal.com/news/news-archive/santos-confirmed-as-an-arsenal-player
I just completed the transfer of an Arsenal mouse pad from Ebay. Missed that SSN didnt you…wankers..
Nice one Ollie.
Have one on me.
Welcome to Arsenal Mr Two Saints.
Ollie @ #540
Cheers mate, another drink waiting from me. I expect the Nutsacker one will be up next.
I reckon that’ll be it apart from Bendy’s transformation into a Munster.
Questions: I wonder how Bendy & Sh*wcr*ss will get on? Best buddies in the showers with Pubis? Out on the town together on bone snapping binges? Will he remain Twotter mates wth Rambo? All important issues and far more productive than waiting for another signing that’s not going to happen, IMO π
Breaking Transfer News: The Caboose of the HT understands that Newcastle have rejected a bid by Man City for star referee Phil Dowd. Man City are also reportedly considering an improved bid for Lee Mason.
Latest transfer news – seen at London City Airport @ 3:20 pm (GMT)
A large mouthful of guinness was transferred from a glass straight to his throat and on to zico’s stomach. A nominal fee was involved.
zico is “a little doubtful” for the next round.
Here, here H2H, welcome Dos Santos and please show us how a Brazillian can really tackle π
Heh zico! Definitely the most accurate and amusing news of the day π
TS @ 543, I know Snir’s gone to sleep but you’re way behind the news.
Apparently Stoke pulled the plug on the Bendtner deal.
And nice one, zico! π
Is that a Pubis related shower joke Ollie???
I was also slightly worried about this:
“All the Brazilians who came to this club spoke wonders about it and I am delighted to be part of the Arsenal family.”
I don’t know if he brought his ukelele, but a certain Gilberto aside, who were the other Brazilians? The Beast and Denilson, hmmm.
(or does Eduardo qualify?)
Ah yes, there was Si/ylvinho.
…or does Le Boss have plans to turn Bendy into the greatest creative midfiledaaar that evaaar lived? π
heh, TS, no
*BREAKING NEWS*
Evra is a cunt. OK. It’s not breaking news, but it needed to be said again.
So we’re going to see Bendy emerge from a chrysallis into Na$regas Mk II only better?
Perhaps he should get on his knees in the Potters’ showers and squeal like a piggie when Pubis’ demands ? π
I have to tell you that I think Bendy should stay, hopefully Stoke did pull the plug. Does the deal have to be signed by 11:00pm or is there a specific hurdle that has to be done by that time? Didn’t our transfer of Arse-a-vin go past the deadline?
Nothing to report at this end –
6mill for Santos strikes me as a good deal for a whole Brazilian club – as long as we don’t have to wear white .
Someone called Claire Hurtesacker – clearly went on TS’s strict training regime . It appears having a big ball bag really does pay π
And finally someone called Benny Porn . Wolfgang ‘ll be pleased , but I suspect no-one else .
M’vila and Marvin definite no-goers according to Phillippe Auclair .
Like waking up at Christmas , expecting your nice new Chopper bike , and having to amuse yourself with a new Subbuteo team and a Board game . Shouldn’t grumble , but I’d much rather play with my chopper π
Heh Ollie @ #554 π
*MORE BREAKING NEWS*
It is understood that Evra, Rooney, Xavi, Na$ri, Lady Robbie, Twitchy and Pubis will fight it out for for the PFA c*nt of the summer awards in one of the closest fought contests for many a year.
I’ll have a tenner on Lady Robbie TS ! Dead cert .
Heh tabs @ #557 π
Yossi Bend-a-broom would be OK.
Then there’s always Xmas for us to go capture a depressed robot & Ricky’s son π
Heh TS π
I wonder if the threat of Nutsacker in the showers will be used to ensure Arshavin starts chasing up and down the field a bit more?
A new tactical direction from Le boss?
*BREAKING WIND*
Yet another shity rumour.
When it rains, it pours:
http://www.arsenal.com/news/news-archive/per-mertesacker-set-to-join-arsenal
Now for that elusive fantastic midfielder…..
heh @ H2H
http://www.arsenal.com/news/news-archive/per-mertesacker-set-to-join-arsenal
@Ollie
Same thing seems to be true with transfer news. π
H2H – I hear what you’re saying he was hardly prolific, but he had a goal or two in him though!
Now for all the recent transfers, however leftfield they have been we’ve kind of known about them just the evening before (although they truly have been Arsenal-like, with no big prior rumours or protracted negotiations).
However, since the midfielders linked for a few days have been Hazard/M’Vila/Martin and are most likely NOT being transferred this window, I’m kind of worried that M.T. Handed is the only midfielder joining between now and midnight.
Sunu now gone to Lorient, 4 years.
After a cameo on the bench against Man U, I expected him to be the Bendy replacement.
Re: Ollie @554: Hilarious! π
Re: Joshua @544: Equally funny but you failed to put Breaking Transfer News in ALL CAPS. Points deduction. π
Mmmm, Ollie.
M.T. Handed and the half Scandinavian, half Asian starlet Knor Fook-Incharns are probably the only additions in this window.
So, looks like we’ll be singing ‘One Nil To The Arse-nal’ a lot this season?
M T Handed heh.
Is he any good?
Very shallow person he is, H2H.
LANSbury off to the Spammers on loan.
Heh – very good Ollie and TS.
Ollie, I reckon Sunu was allowed to go as Afobe looks to have risen above him in the pecking order. Will be interesting to see if he is added to our first team squad like Coquelin. Maybe he already is. Where’s Snir when you need him?!
It does seem strange that Lansbury has been allowed to go without (yet) any midfielder coming in. I’m guessing there might be an attitude problem a la JET…. anyone heard anything?
TS – I’d love to see a whole load of “1-0 to the Arsenal”s this season.
And because you mentioned that famous ditty, some new lyrics for it popped straight into my head:
“I’m boorrred, and I can’t be arsed” – it scans perfectly and fits how I’m trying to pass the remains of the day….
M.T. Handed … Wasn’t he a rapper from the late 90s?
Right , just had time to back-drinking so in no particular order ;-
Joshua @385 – thanks for the drink , and Joe@390 thank you for the kind words .
Clive @392 – Great stuff . I didn’t know that amongst your many talents was Geneaology . I do have the barest of family trees of the Smallballs clan which I will post when times are a little less frenetic , which may give you something to work on .
Lonestar and PHW @various – great exchanges π
Joshua @401 – There’s a song there somewhere π
Dr C – enjoy your Golf – you clearly deserve it , after dealing with that maniac Ging Gang Ghoulie . Thank God , he’s been sedated . Nurse Wolfie slipped something into his Beer π
TS@451 – I think Clive might have something to say about letting the voluptuos C anywhere near Ging Gang . The man is clearly unstable . Sensory overload at this point might result in an explosion of epic proportions .
Goonertown @various and TS – Right attitude to all this malarkey . Let us smoke on the pipe of peace . I’ll join you in a puff . Wolfie will have a poof .
Prof TES and Dr C – brilliant stuff regarding the patient Ging Gang Ghoulie . π
Holic@518 π
H2H @530 – the most sensible thing I’ve read/heard all day . Another Bloody Mary Sir .
Canons , Noel , Ollie – great stuff throughout .
Dr Z @545 heh , I think there are likely to be more deals there π
Gedo – just don’t see Bendy at Stoke .
Right , who’s going to hold Ghoulie down when Nurse Wolfie tells him his crystal balls have seriously malfunctioned , and recovery may take longer than previously anticipated ? π
Good call Camberwell, although the news of Henri being allowed to go makes our anorexic midfield look like it’s gone on an Atkins diet.
Will Bend-a-broom or someone from left-field be joining us instead?
Or are we going to become route one masters this season and just not bother with a midfield and play in a new 6-0-4 configuration.
βIβm boorrred, and I canβt be arsedβ
Sorry ‘Holic,
Forgot about you Brits’ libel laws…we in the freedom-loving US of A would never consider such bartalk slanderous. π
Onto other matters, I hope the HT Mk II’s management and medical staff are happy with the job they have done. Single-handedly, they have stifled the ambitions of our intrepid Wang Dang Doodle – er, I mean Ging Gang Goolie… and sent him to bad without his supper.
No wonder our youth teamers don’t measure up to the youngsters playing for his infernal Prince of Darkness ooop Noorf.
Inspire the kid…don’t beat him.
BMBD.
8ball and Camberwell , Hi ‘ didn’t see you there .
With Lars on the Beach and his card behind the Bar , the drinks are on me fellas .
Barkeeps , this could be a big round !
Heh tabs @ #579 π
Edwin has kindly volnteered to strap-down Patient Ging Gang Goolie whilst Mr./Ms Nutcrackerjee breaks out the celebratory strap-on.
Threats of Hardinso but no Endit until 24:00 hours π
So, tabs…..still waiting for that Kaka deal? π
That sounds a little harsh TS . The poor lad got a little carried away , but was only showing his passion . It also meant I didn’t have to go chasing meaningless rumours as they were all here .
We’ll have to wait til the Doctors turn up , but I would suggest a course of American Football with intermittent shots of Mark Lawrenson . Should be enough to keep him sedated π
Arsenal’s current ‘available’ mid-field:
Diaby, LJW, Rambo, Pingpong, Rosicky, Arsh, Song, Eastmond
First two out injured. Eastmond & Pingpong both rookies of sorts. Rambo coming back after a year having been assaulted.
Erm… I’m going for a quick lie-down.
Ollie @584 , it appears my statue will have to wait , and that the Kaka rumours were indeed Kak (sic) . π
Still 6 hours to go tho …
Now where’s my Chopper ? …. and no , I don’t think we should sign Ron Harris !
Re: Our new left back’s exact name, Arsenal.com says “AndrΓ© Clarindo dos Santos” which actually means “of the saints” in Portuguese rather than “two saints” as the translation would be were the lad of Spanish speaking heritage. No word on whether he has Fenerbahce DNA. π
tabs
Wasn’t meant to be harsh at all. Edwin was just responding to your request to hold the fella down whilst he received treatment.
In fact, given his youth and guile, I think Ging might be our secret MF signing π
TS …. add a potential Arteta (breaking rumour).
Good player, been linked previously, plenty of PL experience and goals…
Eastmond? I hope to God that he is replaced by Coquelin. Jamie @ Young Guns reckons we’re going with Song, deputised by Frimpers and Coqauvin. I’m happy enough with that if we get Arteta.
With you on that one TS . Let’s hope Ging Gang has enormous ghoulies . As I discovered yesterday at my medical , it is a minimum requirement π
Now you’re scaring me, TS, and we need to sign 2.
Though .con still lists Arshavin as a midfielder.
bt8bbgfg
He has Turkish DNA in him I would say I definitely read it somewhere today even though his from BTM’s favourite Brazil π
Also from arsenal.com: “Andre hit 10 goals in his 52 league appearances for Fenerbahce.” Isn’t that a pretty good strike rate for a left back, even in the Turkish League, where as we all know, all the goals are scored by left backs. π
oh yes good spot by Catalan, we have Coquelin too. No, that’s not much Premiership experience either.
Much rather Arteta than Benny Porn Dr C .
Thought AW had ruled out a move for Arteta or Fellaini , who is of course hairtastic .
Not a bad rated indeed, bt8b, considering Clichy got one goal (deflected if I remember) in 2,137 games for the Arsenal.
It’s all bollocks. Not one of those signings if we’re honest is making us excited, surely.
It’s not about the number of signings but surely the quality. We have yet to sign a world class player having lost one. we have yet to sign an experienced pship player in ANY position.
No doubt I will get slated and called a moaned but are any of us inspired by these new signings? Β£70m in and thus far Β£17m spent. I hoped the world wide humiliation would trigger something in Le Boss’ pride. Sadly not. To compete surely you need atleast ONE world class player.
Lonestar.
It is liberal minded individuals like you who have allowed young Gang Goulie to get into this state in the first place.
Inspire him??
A good brutal beating and forced sedation such as has now been administered on the here train is what he should have got the minute he learnt to use his precocious little digits.
We’ll break, errrr heal, him in time. Don’t you worry.
He’ll thank us for it eventually.
Now then, you get back to your rodeos and whatnot, and leave the medical stuff to us unqualified quacks.
Dr.C – Ah, a breath of fresh air. I did of course purchase Arteta for the Strollers at the start of the season which means I’ll have to sell him if he becomes an Arsenal player cos I ai’nt swapping him for LJW. Will be well worth it tho’ π
tabs – Ah yes, the ‘Grow A Swinging Nutsacker’ programme. I must get round to doing that. I’ll be back, hasta la vista… baby, etc., etc.
TV and Nutsacker – two terminators in one squad, eh? Can’t wait until they line up against Na$ri and Adebaywhore this season π
And in , again ? !!!
ATG, It looks like we are balancing the transfer books reasonably well, with one player (Eboue) shipped out to Turkey and one (Santos). Santos also helps with our Brazilian trade balance since we sent Denilson over there. Good to see we are expanding our economics portfolio to include trade balance considerations. π
Bloody hell TS , this is getting boring now π π
Sorry tabs, this time I wasn’t even trying, just kinda happened π
North Bank 1 – I’m fairly pumped about Mertescaker and Gervinho. I say we give the rest a chance before we condemn. Join us in a drink to alleviate the D+G? π
8 ball
We’ve got 50% of the BRIC countries now represented in our team. We need to sign an Indian and a Chinese to complete the set.
Not sure I’m going to want Henri back after Fat Sam’s had his mucky paws all over him π
North Bank 1: Moan all you like but I don’t think boredom is around the corner. And if it does start to creep in there’s always the option to recall Eboue from Turkey. π
Oh since you put it like that….shot of morphine please.
Still think a world class player wouldn’t go amiss. But hey.
TS, South Korea is an up and coming economy also now on our roster, but India could be the toughest nut to crack unless we add a Yogi to our sports psychology staff. That could be the ticket. π
Any word on whether the Hazard transfer request story has any merit?
Ah, fuck it… sigh. TABS, what happened to your announcement? Problems at the medical, maybe inappropriate substances identified? π
8 ball
Good proont re: Yogi π
Would accept a Taiwanese but not Korean in place of Chinese.
Cheers.
point
Hey NB1, We still have hours to go so no need to panic yet. And who would have predicted these 3 signings a couple of days ago. Stranger things may still be around the corner but that morphine should remain on hand in the MC unless Snir’s “break” is the result of his having eaten the entire morphine supply. TS, What’s the story??
Pik@610 – Afternoon – see failed medical shocker @227 @236 and @259 π
It was also later discovered that “refuelling ” was also an issue – apparently they didn’t like the over reliance on a californian diet .
NB1 – I must say the centre back and left back are making me juice a little!
As for the Korean, I’m sensing he could be a dark horse in disguise! WTS!
π
Come ar-se-nal we’re waiting for the midfielder, letβs not start the season in-complete again please!
Possible icing on our cake???
http://www.mirrorfootball.co.uk/transfer-news/Arsenal-swoop-for-Everton-midfielder-Mikel-Arteta-article793936.html
Stories are doing rounds that we are still in for Arteta, how old is he now? Is he still good enough?
A midfielder please Arsene a decent one for that matter too…suddenly I feel this season will take different turn alltogether!
Arsenal Bloody Love Arsenal!
Thank you TS
TS@617, icing on the cake? Arteta played 32 games for Everton last season with 3 Goals & 5 Assists. Bottom of the barrel more like.
Back and running !!!
Have to update on the 6 hours I missed!!!
I’d love to get Arteta!
I must admit that I believe the Mertesacker signing is maybe one of the biggest coups in a long time.
If he were an English man, his price would probably’ve been triple what we are paying to bring him in, With his experience in the German domestic league and internationals he makes Gary Cahill look like… er, well, Gary Cahill (with all due respect)
Given the choice, I know who I would have prefered.
Cheers for the BM tabs. Please join me in a voddie shot. (invitation open to all)
Not so sure about Arteta, he’s not the player he was a few seasons ago, not by a long shot.
Snir’s back, call the medical staff!!!!!!
NB52 may not be going pott(er)y since the man who Crouches for LWC is rumoured to be Delap bound
Feeling a bit ‘meh’ about Arteta truth be told…
Can anyone enlighten me on possible virtues?
Bit harsh Bernard but I take your point. A PL proven & experienced player in midfield given some schooling in Wengerball may well invigorate his game at The Ems. Anyway, it’s only speculation at this stage.
From Bleacherreport.com:
there are strong rumors that Arsenal are in negotiations with German club Bayer Leverkusen to sign Brazilian attacking midfielder Renato Augusto. …
Renato Augusto reportedly flew into Heathrow Airport a short while ago. According to sources, he is presently undergoing a medical at Arsenal.
He is a product of Flamengo’s youth academy and has spent the past three seasons in Germany. He also has three caps for Brazil. Augusto is normally a right-sided midfielder, but he’s also played with success in the “hole,” just behind the main striker.
This versatility undoubtedly has attracted Arsene Wenger. The transfer fee being talked about is in the range of Β£18 million.
H2H – voddie shot me up ! Cheers old son .
Looking like Arteta or bust . Distinctly underwhelmed by our dealings π
But wait a minute , Snir’s back , so at least we’ll have some juicy rumours to feast on , if nothing else .
Welcome back Patient Ging Gang!
Any truth that in the rumour you’ve had the call from Arsene to help plug our MF gaps?
Cheers 8ball @626 – that’s the stuff we want . The Bleacher Report , however , do not have a good track record . Less reliable than an English builder I’m afraid π
Nice one 8 ball @ #626
I thought Bleacher was mostly bollix but it is the sort of under the radar stuff that Arsene favours.
Looks like Arsene’s summer is ending in a serious Brazillian… ooh nurse.
*gets coat & leaves*
Ah tabs, you beat me to it, first time today π
We haven’t signed anyone as I was away?
Loads of drinks though, I see.
8Ball.
That sounds more interesting, but judging by the site it’s on, probably just a load of crap.
Re: H2H @621 I must agree about Mertesacker being an excellent coup for us. He is one of the pillars of the bedrock German defense and should help shore up several of our known defensive liabilities.
Ollie
Snir is back, however, so loads more rumours heading our way I’m sure π
Renato Augusto – from what I have seen let’s buy him I know this is not the best way to scout a player but he has talent!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ILe2Wzylndw
TS @631 – there has to be a first time for everything π
Re: Rene & Renata
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/football/article-2031840/Transfer-deadline-day-live.html
Scroll down to 5:33 if you can be arsed.
Cheers, TS. Hooray for Snir!
Danger Alert !!! Snir hasn’t posted for 20 minutes . Has his head exploded ?
http://www.arsenal.com/news/news-archive/campbell-and-sunu-heading-for-lorient
I think .con should be told that Lorient is not considered Northern France but Western France….
NewsNow awash with Arteta to Arsenal stories
Nurse, fetch me my intravenous Californina please…
Ollie @ #641
It’s in Brittany isn’t it? I was staying near there last week. Was going to visit just to fin out when Kozzer used to play but thought better of it.
Everything’s fine my fellow Holics (God I love this bar), I’m just getting updated on what I missed…
heh TS,
I scrolled down to find there is no 5.33
It’s it April fools or TDD? (same difference if you really think about it :))
Doctors can you please lower morphine dosage to Snir he seems to be recovering very well indeed and please take that “40’s Hot MILFS” magazine off him at once!
Don’t worry tabs, he has 6 hours of drinking to catch up on. π
He’s with me tabs in the Secure Unit. News of his demise are greatly exaggerated. He’s just hard-wiring himself into Twotter now…
Ollie.
I think Wenger is aiming to make Islington a provence of (far) western France.
Arthur – MILFS ? Midfielders I’d love to f*cking sign ?
H2H @ #645
They’ve gone an f’in well deleted it! Perhaps a true sign it was all bollix.
tabs @ #650
Classic, heh! π π
Arteta news doing the rounds here:
http://www.newsnow.co.uk/h/Sport/Football/Premier+League/Arsenal/All+Sources
Tabs – a drink for you is in the bar….
Snir – which version would you prefer π
H2H/TS there is indeed no 5:33 so I’ve assumed it is a question of “out of my brain on the train,” but 18 minutes late. What the Daily Mail rumour blog does provide however is “information” that Bendtner could be on his way to any of Stoke, Blackburn, Newcastle or Sunderland. Maybe all of them, sequentially?
8 ball
Clearly, he’s trying to take the long way home back to Denmark. What a guy…
Fucking hell.
Yossi is in talks for a loan.
ARGH!
SSN , aside from Georgie , is an absolute disgrace . Talk about making headlines out of nothing at all .
Benny Porn in loan talks – breaking news π
Re: Tabs @650, I assume Wolfgang Smallballs would have made that MWAILFS (midfielders whose arses I’d love to fucking sign) π
Doctor!
A morphine top up is required Snir is going benayoun on us gain….
Bendy has many opportunities today.
Unfortunatly. but true to form, he’ll probably miss them all.
Sorry NB52, only joshing, unless ofcourse you sign for one of the above, in which case, fuck you. π
Cheers Arthur .
Looks like I failed to beat The TDD king to the news π @657
Heh H2H. Another BM or something stronger/more chemically orientated?
I actually rate Benayoun. *dives for cover*
Maybe we can transform him into Benagoon, midfield supremo.
I’m with you on Benny-boy, H2H. Always thought he was a threat when he was a Smasher. He obviously didn’t take well to the West of London. Too chavvy maybe?
8ball @658 – Smalllballs distinctly unmoved by all this stuff . He’s sitting quietly in the corner pondering whether he should go in to the FFL transfer market . His only comment thus far is :
” Why don’t we get Bent ? “
OK
Sport5.co.il (Israel’s Sky/BBC) is reporting Yossi has signed a contract till the end of the season.
Brittany indeed TS.
Good luck with the geographical puns, H2H.
I naturally blame Jack Wiltshire for starting this whole mess.
Now that’s a transfer I’ll get before anyone else π
I have never seen so many bad reviews on a player like I’ve seen on Yossi.
Wouldn’t mind getting Yossi if we get someone with him. Don’t want him as our ONLY midfield signing π
TS
He started OK for the chavs but got injured quickly……..
Uh Oh!!
Arteta deal is looking like it’s off…
CRAP!
Don’t want just Yossi.
C’mon Arsene!
Arsenal’s fax machine must have broken down today, dig out the instuctograph and send a morse code message Arsene. Did anyone posting on here today do any work whatsoever…does not look like it. You have cost the exchequer millions. I hope your proud.
4 hours to go of this sh*t . Where the f*ck is Kaka ?
Snir , start a twitter rumour . eg Kaka seen playing 10 pin bowling at Finsbury Park or something of that sort .
I’m with you on 668, Snir.
Chin-up Wolfie
We’ve signed some decent players for defence and attack and it looks like soemone will arrive to adequately fill our gaping MF hole π
I’m out of this world when it comes to geographical puns. Ollie.
ATG
Fuck off, there’s no morphine left – Wolfie and I have had it all.
If his head explodes it’ll be fun to watch.
Bentdner’s Dad: All the transfers fell through and Stoke are ****. How about a drive through the countryside?
Bentdner: Sure.
…
SSN: We can confirm that Arsenal’s Nick Bendtner has been spotted in Newcastle.
SSN: We have received updated information that Nick Bendtner has been sighted in Blackburn.
…
Snir, That website is in another language. Probably Hebrew or something, so how reliable could it be? π
I think the Arteta story was just planted by someone to annoy Arsenal fans at it not happening and to have them moan at the Boss again.
But who are we REALLY signing instead then? :s
But I won’t brag about it too much.
Luckily I’m a pretty down to earth guy.
But it does have a hot pic of a babe in a black bikini so not all is lost. Maybe they put that on there for the international audience?
Re: Ollie @679: See #671. π
Rock solid, H2H
Make that 681.
Was I overestimating Joe Cole in expecting his first interview for Lille to be in French? ;P
You’d overestimate him if you thought it would be in understandable English, Ollie.
8Ball – As the bar’s Hebrew translator I can confirm the validity of the deal π
It actually says that he was on his way to Liverpool but had a talk with AW that made the twist.
heh, good point, H2H
Heh Ollie @ #658! π
He makes Aaron Lennon sound intelligent doesn’t he?
Here’s the story after being put through Google Translate, imperfect though it may be:
Hebrew to English translation
Last-minute twist signed Arsenal captain of the team for a season, first learned to sports channel. What brought the twist is, mind you, a personal phone call artillery manager, Arsene Wenger.
News, signings, table and board games English League page
In recent days numerous reports appeared in England about the future of Benayoun, after Chelsea had told him that he was not in her plans for the upcoming season. Contact’s name was mentioned in Liverpool, Tottenham, Sunderland and even on the night of the French, but ultimately chose the player to land the Emirates Stadium.
Arsenal will be the station’s fourth and fifth Benayoun England total in Europe. Relationship began his European career, Racing Santander of Spain, it moved to West Ham. Then played three years at Liverpool before moving to Chelsea for one season, there is not really found his place. Benayoun is expected to enter the arsenal of big shoes of Samir Nasri, who left Manchester City recently.
Israel uniform Benayoun 83 recorded performances, including scoring 24 goals. He is considered the undisputed leader of the team and its archives a few large operations, but with it, until now he had not brought the blue – white big tournament despite a big campaign under Avram Grant in 2006
Patient Ging Gang
Are you confirming that Lossy Ben-a-porn is on his way to Arsenal on a loaner?
TS 689: dyslexia or something from the GT? π
Heh at Google translate, bt8
8ball – are you serious?!?!
You could have told me to translate!!!
Ollie, My favorite part of the translation is “a personal phone call artillery manager, Arsene Wenger.” π
Ollie @ #692, both probably π
O.K – Yossi is definitely joining.
It’s on Sport5, One and Haaretz.
Snir, I bet you could have gotten the grammar and the conjugation of verbs better but the meaning is kind of discernable anyway. π
690.*Ball
well, it made more sence and was in better English, then a Joe Cole interview. π
*OK, I’ve milked that one long enough now*
Snir @ 670 – Don’t do this to me – SSN still reporting it is on . Dr C , get the baseball bat out . TS , I’m coming round to your idea of Hardinso π
Tim Payton just on SSN . 2 points arising :-
1. How many golf balls can a chap stuff in his gob and still manage to speak ?
2. Apparently the Club consult AST . Should we therefore blame the AST for our quite appalling PR ? Payton has a pretty punchable face .
TS @674 Its the gaping hole Wolfie is worried about π
698.
Note to self.
Guys who can’t spell sense, shouldn’t throw stones. (unless directly at Joe Cole)
Boom!
Snir 693, with all due respect I doubt you could have made it as funny as that π
Arteta deal off – Bollocks
Heh tabs @ #699,
Hardinso it is then! π
Well in H2H!
Fucking hell. No Arteta.
“Arsenal are no longer instersted in Arteta, they are now channeling ALL their energy to secure Yossi Benayoun.”
Anyway – Yossi was on his way to Liverpool but a personal conversation with AW changed his mind and he has now SIGNED a 1 year deal on loan.
Missed TS,
Never mind mate, have a drink on me.
In fact, fill ’em all up barman.
See my 679, tabs.
And it can only mean we’re going for Kaka instead π
What’s your source tabs?
…. and Olliski
Sky apparently, TS.
But that’s the problem with Deadline Day, there are MORE rumours that unusual, but that doesn’t make these deals more likely to happen.
I’m not at all be miffed if we miss out on Arteta. Two, three years ago, I would of welcomed him with open arms, but he’s pushing thirty now with a couple of injury plagued seasons behind him.
I’m standing there with you H2H. Still need someone else though (on top of Yoshi).
Spain is the past, Germany will be the next Champions, so Mario GΓΆtze please (OK, odds must be 12,000/1)
Thanks Ollie. On-line still awash with Arteta stories. Doesn’t mean f*ck all though. Hey ho, on to the next one…
Arteta And be benayoun are like cheap cescs and nasri’s but I’d take them over nothing this season in midfield. Let’s just hope we won’t be embarrassed in to regretting it if it happens
H2H, We might have been after Arteta on a one year loan if that’s the arrangement we came up with for Benayoun, since it’s not like AW to go after either one on a permanent deal since I think they are both close to 30.
Ollie @707 – let’s hope so π
TS @708 SSN .
So Benayoun on his own the answer to our midfield woes ? Jesus …
GΓΆtze would be massive.
Fucking Chavs or the middle eastlanders would probably hijack the deal though. Cunts.
Everton would not be interested in a loan 8ball, they are poorer then a Tottenham churchmouse, who’s just lost his benifits.
Yossi is 31.
Why is everyone against Yossi signing ? He’s not that bad.
I mean I don’t want him to be the ONLY one we’re signing as well, but everybody (and I mean everyone) seem to think he absolutely useless.
Benayoun, pfff we are getting ambitious I bet the rest of the league are quaking in their boots
@H2H 660- two drinks on me, that was hilarious.
Arteta or Benayoun, Benayoun or Arteta? Kind of like, take out the garbage or mop the floors, mop the floors or take out the garbage?
Meh.
We’re not all against him Snir.
Go back and have a read mate.
Goetse already said he’s staying in Germany .
I’m ready to put the tree away and wrap up the bunting . I’m also going to stamp on my new subbuteo team in a hissy fit . Never liked xmas … where’s my bloody chopper ?
Off to rummage through the CMC …
I mean like all the Twitter gooners… Most of the time the reviews are all good or mixed.
But I rarely see a player that nobody wants. Like everybody saying that if we get Yossi and Yossi only the moaners will be right to torch the club and the defenders of AW will have no case!
I’m not against the guy by any means- quality player by my estimation- just hardly the take the Captain Cesc sell and flip those $ to world class replacement sort. Feels a bit like the Wengerlosophy of buying another player to fill the gap as the ‘young’ reach their prime…
Anyone feel that way?
Snir, I haven’t seen Benayoun enough to judge but in concept a one year loan of an experienced EPL midfielder is probably on target considering we’re currently short but the window is about to close.
I’m feeling the same but most people saying they’d rather not sign anybody than sign Yossi. What the fuck!?
Completely with you PIK .
We lose one of the best midfielders in the world and are replacing him with a 31 year old loanee , who is ok but no more , and who is injury prone .
Will never slate AW , but the Board , frankly , are hopeless .
With the exception of Per German Bloke, it appears that the midget master plan continues, with signings like Park and Benayoun.
What I saw on Sunday was a requirement for a real dirty bastard in the middle of the park, the type to put Jackson 5 wannabe Ashley Young in the infirmary for a couple of months (since Frimpong
may take a bit longer to develop).
And of course a Β£30M or so replacement for Cesc.
I like tabs, am also a bit underwhelmed with what it looks like we are going to end up with, but it isn’t really surprising given the way we have handled this whole summer.
My hope all long was that we had a plan B for sorting out the creative gap that would arise when Cesc went home – it appears that despite having 20 people working on deals we have arrived at Yossi Benayoun on loan.
Somebody somewhere has to be accountable for this.
Before anyone starts, I am still in the front seat on the Happy Train, for as long as we have competitions to win, but I have serious reservations about the Board of Directors and Mr Gazidis who, as each day passes, makes me think he is all fluff and no substance. The American I am becoming increasingly suspicious of, also.
Guinness please, and keep them coming.
Twitter is the refuge of the semi iliterate, it is the modern day equivalent of muttering inanely to yourself.
Why would you care what any twitter’er thinks?
Let’s get Song, Diaby and LJW back in that midfield and see how weak we look after that point. With Mertesacker and Dos Santos at the back we look to have solidified things significantly, and let’s see what a win or two can do for our confidence.
How about Renato Augusto? Bleacherreport.com, this is your big test ….
Snir, Yossi’s not a bad signing. The problem is that he seems to be our only midfield signing.
Arsene, When you address the our shortcomings in the transfer window, would you kindly fill all of them at once instead of section by section, window by window.
Heh Joshua,
loved your poetry earlier in the drinks btw
Yes, Snir, surprised too, I think Yossi Benayoun is underrated.
Still we need A N Other.
Don’t get me wrong Benayoun and Arteta are not shite, but just like with Schillachi, we’ll accept them because the window is about to close and we could end up short!
Aw nooo, just nipped out and by the time I came back find that Bennyhill on loan is now our only midfield target??
Wasnβt over bothered about Arteta so donβt really care that thatβs off, but an injury prone loanee in place of 2 world class MFs???
Even my cat thinks that one loanee into 2 spaces is really rubbish. Apparently itβs like replacing two bowls of the finest salmon with a handful of stale catbiscuits from Lidl. Does a bit of the job, but not really what was wantedβ¦
Dr Z @729 – Agree with every word – assuming Benny is the only incomer and that we get 5mill for Bendy we’ve ended up with a profit of approx 40 mill .
The only thing keeping my hopes up is the Guv’nor is quiet .
We’re signing Messi!
Ollie, just had four text messages in less than a minute π
8 ball @ 731 – Diaby in midfield – on a pay as you play basis we would make a fortune from the guy π
Heh π . And it’s 2-1 to Green cunts now, ‘holic, goalmouth scramble
Just peeped in Twitter. Dunno about signing Messi. It’s getting fucking messy π
@zico 734, Cheers
@Ollie 739, seems like a good way to get out of the mess we’re in. Any sources to lean on?
Twitter’s not worth it on transfer deadline days I reckon.
Holics come there is still time, there is still hope, there is only one Arsene Wenger, one Arsene Wenger….
Yossi wouldn’t be that bad if he is fit that if not fuck him and let rot at the Fulham Bus Stop…
It’s frightening to see good people losing it. Deep breathing and steps back required.
Arthur, I suspect the talk is of a loan deal because a physical might scupper any cash move.
Joshua, I think that leaning onto a bottomless pit means a long fall downwards. Sorry :p
Your Big Boeing post is very right, ‘holic.
@ Holic
Back in the day, you could get reported for “deep breathing” π
Dear Arsene
Right now, I don’t care about money. We have plenty.
We need another midfielder. Get it done no matter the cost.
Jeeeezzzzzz…..!!!!!
π
Clucking bell, 753 drinks??? I’ll have to take time off work next week to be able to catch up. Only have time for a quick stop now, I am sponging off the wi-fi at a bar. No idea what you have been talking about in the last few days but I hope the fallout from Sunday hasn’t been too bad. Take care everybody, see you later!
Hmmm, I’m not to optimistic about the chances of bringing in another midfielder. Snir has been quiet for a while now.
Ouzo please. And one for Lars.
Yes, what happened to Snir?!?!?
Something to lift the spirits is required I think. How about a round for everyone courtesy of our unspent transfer fund? π
And anyone want to hear a joke about constipation and dementia?
Well tough shit, I’ve forgotten it.
*thanks Popbitch and gets coat*
Lars, we have no idea what we’re talking about either. π
The only things we need to lift the spirits, snowy, are arms.
*raises glass*
*gets coat too*
Anyone left?
Ollie, I’ll drink to that π
have we made a profit in this window yet!!
So 2 and something hours to go, and as usual, we’ll probably learn of some of the deals only tomorrow morning.
Like our MEGA SUPER SIGNING.
(why do I have the feeling it’s not happening though :s)
I’m still here , Ollie , …. sulking .
Austrian Gooner, that depends if you forecast ahead to the end of the season or not? π
Ollie, unfortunately our MEGA SUPER SIGNING seems to have failed his medical. Something about being small in the lower regions.
FRom arseblog news stuff:
‘ arseblog: RT @rorysmith_tel: Robbie Savage has just dismissed Per Mertesacker because of his poor spell at Real Madrid’
Heh, Germans all look the same, heh, Lady Savage?
Pops back to find we are making a holy show of ourselves in this transfer window. Yossi ? Do our physios not have enough to contend with. Started so well yesterday but when the real guts were required we have been sadly lacking, is this to be the story of our season. I hope someone rams these words down my throat come eleven. Have got 48 cans for a festival this weekend but I think I will start tearing into them now…anyone fancy a warm bulmers?
quite right Joshua – they’ll regret it you know π
No matter which way you cut it, I find it quite incredible that with a little over 2 hours to go in the TW, we are all still hoping for adequate replacements for two of the world’s best AMs whom we knew would be leaving right at the start of the summer.
Unless a significant rabbit or two are pulled out the hat, my sense is that we will have a real job on our hands just to mantain a top 4 finish.
Extremely disappointing if true and I believe, given everything that has happened this summer and the way that it has happened, is worthy of an honest explanation by the BoD.
If this is not forthcoming then people will join the dots for themselves. A decent dose of transparency for the supporters of our fine club is, IMO, well in order.
The Arteta deal has collapsed over personal terms or medical and Benayoun remains our only target! Bleeming great!
*Raises glass to TS*
Well said.
And more :
‘Comment From Guest
BENAYOUN , hasnt been any good sine john hartson kicked him in the face.’
So all Israelians look the same too….
PS: And, like zico, I remain a committed and certifiable member of the HT Mk II.
You’ll find me in the sulking corner with tabs π
Cheers Noel – can’t shove it in fast enough here .
The only bright spot of this evening is Martin Keown making a sterling defence of AW (tricky) , and making a mug of Savage (easy) , on Five Live .
I think Stoke and QPR have spent more than us definitely something not right going on behind the scene
Cheers Joshua and I can’t tell you how many strange dreams I’ve had about Arsenal & Wenger over the past couple of weeks. Too much fine wine and cheese at bed time, no doubt.
Do we get a special drink in the sulking corner? Tempted to join you.
You know, I would kind of think we’re not too bad if everybody stayed fit. But the recent years have been enough to convince me that we’ve got the most injury-prone squad in the world π
To be fair, Austrian, the like of Spu*s have spent more than us year after year for the last few years, and well, I don’t need to extrapolate π
Right, I’ve never done this before, but what the hell.
I fink we need to sign Adam Johnson, he’s well good innit and hes English so should cost loads of dosh which makes him even better.
While we’re at it, try to hijack the Newcastle/Fulham bid for Bryan Ruiz from Twente, (he really is a decent player)
Oh yeah, Messi and Ronaldo too, not the portugeese git, the brazilian one, he’s got the experience we need.
Loan Bendy to Sunderland too.
I can predict that if Bordeaux lose tonight there will be NO great midfielder coming to Arsenal this transfer window.
Kaka to the LWCs? Tabs what part of north London did you get that statue shipped to??
*speculation of course
Just back from helping out ill mum, and can’t work out what is going on.
Snir has not posted for 25 minutes – has he actually self combusted or has Twitbook / Facetube crashed across the world?
Tabs – alarming news currently on SSN. Spuds are being all coy about dramatic last minute news and SSN have “sources” claiming it could be KAKA. To the bleeding Spuds.!!!
More likely drining past the crumbling dump and round to the Ems just to rub their noses in it. *hopes desparately*
We HAVE to have a real midfielder lined up. Please. π
3-1 to St Etienne, it’s dead folks π
drining = driving
Trev? More like 75 minutes without a Snir post….
YDWTBH @782 – What ??!! What??!! Please tell me thats a wind up . Mercy … Mercy …
Yep, I’m still on board the HT Mk II (sitting in the caboose with the HT dog).
Who knows, maybe Benayoun just needs to get away from a certain A. Hole and he’ll discover his form again.
Although, I will be genuinely ticked off if this happens:
http://whatculture.com/sport/tottenham-trying-to-sign-kaka-on-loan-from-real-madrid.php
Ollie,
We’re currently enjoying a fine glass of p*ss and thunder in the sulky corner. You’re welcome to join Cousin Op as well who’s licking the p*ss of nettles as I speak.
And if Kaka ends up as an LWC (per Trev) then I’m going to jump off a doll’s house.
Meh!
Dr C – is there any of Goolie’s meds left ? I feel I may be coming down with the same condition.
Redsnapper just rubbishing LWC’s “big one”.
Maybe he’s coming Tabs !!!
If they’ve seen Kaka, where can he be going. We have to have a big one.
My phone just delivered a text – i’m off to take a look.
Dr C – QUICK . . . . .HELLLPPPPP !!!!
Oh my God Trev , et tu Brute ??!!
I feel a Snir-like head explosion coming on
Old Twitchy has many faults, but big respect to the man for never refusing an interview, even with some SSN berk jamming a microphone in his face when he’s clearly shattered and wants to go home…
Shit !! It wasn’t my phone – it was on the bloody telly !!!!
What’s happening ?
Snir – come and calm me down, please !!!
Hmmm, TS, I think I’ll pass and stick to my fine wine then π
I have actually just bought a fantastic bottle for a mate’s 40th this weekend, but it’s safely in its box.
Assuming our new guys are any good (I have high hopes for Per German Bloke), our starting 11, which is not too shabby could be:
Woj
Sagna, PGB, TV, Santos
Song LJW Frimpong/Ramsay/Diaby (Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha)
Flipper, RvP Walcott/Arshavin
But as Ollie says, our injury record does not stand up to scrutiny – and speaking of which wasn’t there supposed to be news of Wilshere’s scan yesterday (did I miss it?)
But that team, whilst good enough to beat the Blackburn’s of this world, is not going to be getting more points than City Utd or the Chavs in my opinion.
In theory if we are in contention in January we might be able to do something “to strengthen” but given what has happened the last 3 months, who would bet on it?
Our team are going to need our support more than ever this season folks- get your bubble wrap suits on – it could be a bumpy one π
Chill out everyone,
Redknapp denies the Kaka rumour, and says this: “No, no big one (arriving) … we tried for Cahill but we couldn’t get there in the end…
Just imagine Snir’s internet has crashed down during the last weekend of the transfer window.
I’d fear the worse for his health.
KKKKKKKAAAAAAKKKKKKAAAAAA – Come on Son , make an old boy happy .
Got fed up with SSN’s rubbish so am on 5live – nothing being reported here
Easy 800
Snowy @793 ,
Rarely do i disagree with anything you say but I would say ‘Arry’s failure to ever refuse an interview is one of his many faults π
More Beer Barkeeps for all .
Too easy, well done Dr Z
I cannot believe there is not one major midfielder that we could have brought in.
It will be a bloody scandal if we finish this window with a Β£60million profit and two top midfielders gone.
The defensive replacements look fine to me.
The attacking boys, we will have to wait and see, but Gervinho shows good signs.
But this whole midfield thing is looking dire.
Diaby will have to be our powerhouse. Oh dear. π π
I’m off for a while to take a step back, and wait for Arsene’s last minute surprise.
Tabs @801 – heh! Good point well made!
But I do rather wish our lot would be as accessible and frank sometimes. Let us know what is going on without us all getting coronary events wondering what the hell is going on the whole time.
Jeez if I’m synpathising with old Twitchy I MUST need more to drink…
Pint of Guinness with a vodka chaser please π
Errr….Arteta deal back on????
@AAllenSport: SSN: Arteta deal back on.
May I belt out a ‘haha’
It seems like we are in for Arteta again, Josse deal is 50-50 now:)
Trev, hopefully the Diaby operation involved injection of titanium.
A permanently fit Diaby would be great.
Or is that called a pipe dream?
Blimey Arteta deal back on and where IS Snir?
Need to know stats, urgently, a game by game appraisal of his last few seasons….
Need to go from ‘meh’ to ‘YEAAAAH’ urgently…
Did someone mention pipes? Yes please!
*steps back into sulking corner*
Ollie, tabs has some wonderful tips on dreaming with pipes in the drinks above (see 275).
Re: Austrian @762, Need I explain that you can’t make a profit in the transfer window until it’s over? π
That said, profit shmofit. Spend some feckin’ cash, be it on physios, players, or psychologists. I just don’t feel we have done enough to be competing where we want to be. π
ARTETA? Link please.
Ah, cheers Joshua. Brilliant, as usual, tabs
Jacky boy seems hellbent on Arteta coming in, maybe he’s made a call to arsene? If anyone sees any water bottles flying around then, and only then will we know they’ve missed their targets.
Link bt8? Being linked is all this bloody window is about.
Santos has just said a hello to Gooners via Twitter…good lad.
Benayoun is captain of Israel, no? That makes 3 international captains we have acquired in this window I believe, along with Germany and S. Korea. Leadership at least should be better.
It’s pissing down in St Etienne.
What relevance it has to the transfer window, I don’t know.
Looks like arteta deal back on due to arteta relacement arriving from real Madrid. Apparently everton having a clearout to pay bills also trying to get rid of beckford and yakubu
Apparently arteta trying to push through move and it’s a matter of time. Well well!
I think the good doctors have permanently scarred my American mate. Snir has been brow-beaten into submission.
Shame, shame, shame.
BMBD.
Holic
If we get to 1000 drinks, do we get a prize???? π
In the absence of Snir:
Chief football writer Phil McNulty on Twitter: “Mikel Arteta now happening because he asked to leave Everton after hearing of Arsenal’s interest.”
Ollie, I have it on good authority that it never rains, but it pours.
It’s just not raining (midfield) men. (Steady Wolfgang).
Dr C, the prize is simply….more drinks. Sounds fair?
Snowy , agree with you about our lots inaccessability . Let me buy you that Guinness and Vod Chaser .
Cheers Ollie
5live reporting Arteta has demanded to leave .
*steps out of sulkers corner and puts SSN back on , as 5live too sensible , Savage apart*
Man Utd striker Michael Owen on Twitter: “Tough night for Everton fans. A small squad seems to be getting smaller. Exciting times for QPR, Stoke and Arsenal.”
Michael Owen? He must be fucking bored.
tabs, what are the chances that the deal will be closed too late.
Although I’m obviously getting confused by the fact that 11pm is approaching here, but you’ve got an extra hour on the islands.
I have a feeling Snir is being directly involved in the club’s transfer dealings now.
Would explain his absence.
TABS, TS stop sulking in that corner and come on over to the smoking corner with me. Things could be worse…..
Goonerholic,
at this rate you are going to have way in excess of 1000 drinks by closing time tonight (presumably a record) – I assume that you have an extended license and that you won’t be putting up the bar prices to reflect your new found fame and popularity?
Not that Lars would mind……
zico transfer from Guinness to dark rum and coke, back on.
And you, Ollie
PS.. who was the German for Real? I had a Dutch friend tell me the exact same thing last night.
Sorry !!! Sorry!!! Was in the middle of a sociology class !!! Am now on break until the close of the window!!!
Let me take a look at that Kaka deal.
Metzelder, Dr C
SNIR IS BACK!!!
Happy to join you in the smoking corner, Dr C
Tabs @ 826 – cheers !
Have to say, from being a bit ‘meh’ before, feeling rather chuffed that Arteta is pushing for a move here.
*glugs drink with re-discovered pride and optimism*
Christoph Metzelder
Arsenal have told the BBC that they are confident of signing Mikel Arteta tonight. (via @danroan )
Haven’t seen anything on Kaka.
Sociology! SOCIOLOGY!!
You had us waiting because you were in a stinking Sociology class? π
You know, education is a negative indicator for happiness, don’t you? π
BMBD.
With you Dr C , roll me a big one buddy .
Ollie – @828 – no idea , medical ??? I no understandy .
I don’t know about Arsene but I need 3 hands , Pint , short , and pipe .
Christ on a bike
Right, Dr T, Nurse Wolfie and Prof TES, report immediately to the Quackery. And you, Ollie. And Joshua, you can come too.
I had no idea that Patient Goolie’s condition was infectious, but it quite clearly is.
As these are your first symptoms, and you have been otherwise healthy, I shall start you all off on a little opium, just to calm things down.
Now, repeat after me “que sera, ser….”
Dr C asked me to pass that one on. He was too busy reading Twitter to bother…
I hope NB52 doesn’t move to Stoke, Maccabi are playing Stoke in the group stages of the Europa League.
Hmmm, my interweb was down for a couple of minutes (as it so often does once a night). For a moment I thought my 798 was coming back to haunt me….
Snowy , I’m with you , Arteta AND Benny adds depth and no little skill .
Ok , its not a Chopper , but it seems I might get a Grifter after all .
German bloke confirmed .
An interview with Arteta on Everton’s official website has been taken down!!! It’s getting closer π
Dr.C
Both I and Edwin are back with pipes in hand π
Snir , Bendy gone to Sunderland on loan
Catalan, I assume he was enjoying the banter on Jack’s timeline.
Talk about a frenzy. Has there ever been a day when so much shit was talked about so little. To quote Sky Sports ” Is peter crouch in the air? and if so where is he going”. Fuck me. If it is Arteta then we are making the best of a bad situation and I will grumble a bit but find my optimism thereafter. If Kaka goes to spurs I will have a personel word with jesus about that clown…
Yossi tweeted that he’s staying in London and will soon sign.
It has to mean us cause Spurs is off that transfer and Chelsea will not register him for the 25 player rule.
Snir
Bendy is not going to Stoke. It all broke down when he insisted on a separate shower cubicle and refusing to have bolts inserted into his neck. What a prima donna eh?
German bloke deal now official.
Which means midfielder job has been done surely.
Heh Ollie @ 844, on form tonight.
Dr C – I am, err, rather poorly too – can I have some of that O Pee Um ?
Tabs – I agree. That’s exactly what I was saying. I would like Yossi to be the second signing of the day. He’d be good for the squad not for the 11 but the reaction from people is that they’d prefer no signing to Yossi.
tabs @ #845
Edwin advises that the Grifter was a far superior machine to The Chopper π
Boys, boys. I may be downbeat tomorrow, and down to one issue.
Why the fuck are we making a transfer window profit having upped the prices for all members this season?
Please, any explanation may help. π
Free Polish Wisniowka for everyone in the bar you’ll need it!
Looks like we’re finally doing the business (reasonable enough if Arteta comes in). Beats my why we had to wait for the last few days to do it though.
Number 4 he is.
So Park 9 Santos 11 Mertesacker 4.
What are the bets for Yossi and Arteta?
Snir, I’d love Benayoun, especially if he can stay fit…
Careful zico @ #854
Talk like that will get Cousin Op back in here sniffing round its bowl and licking its chops π
Cheers Ollie – For the other German bloke thing. I’ll throw that back into my mate’s big oranje face tomorrow.
Boys, good to see you are all back in the right corner.
I’d like to invite Dr Z (who was close to a prescription), Snowy (I believe the first drink I have offered you) and everyone else for a nice cool beer.
Sometime the simple things are the best. Not ‘arry, though.
Surely you didn’t expect NO profit, ‘holic? :s
What are the odds of AOC giving up 15 for Yossi?
Very good point ‘Holic @ #857.
How about an open letter to Ivan?
TS@856 Is that right ? I had to make do with a Mary Poppins job – didn’t even get the dropped handlebars π
@Snir and Holic
I think he did very well at Liverhoof, his move to Chelsea and his injury on top stopped his progress indeed, I we can get him over to yet another placenta specialist who knows?
*Holic brings a crate of Wisniowka to the bar…..*
I say bring those Cherries On…
These drinks are moving way too fast for a two fingered Freddie like me π
‘Holic, an increase in wages for our players perhaps or maybe a secret signing yet to be announced? (But like SSN, it’s all made up speculation.)
Holic@857 – it is inexcusable , when we were promised so much more in May .
tabs
Tick tock Tick tock…. 129 to go…
Lars (how remiss of me) and Noel, and Pik, and ATG, and Steve T..come join us. (apologies if my opium addled brain has forgotten others).
Oooo…. Clive, come and have an OJ.
And you know what… Bernard! Come on, you know you want to.
Holic…. the invitation for the barkeep is a given.
And finally… Snir, I am proud of you. Your rehab has been a thorough success. Quite the model of restraint compared to a few others…
127………..now…..chin up and have a shot of the Cherries Pure π
You know what’s annoying?
I’m waiting till the official midnight deadline to go to bed, but I’m fairly certain that any remaining deal will not be announced until some time after that so I’ll be none the wiser.
Of course now with the iPod, I may just check stuff whenever I wake up in the middle of the night as I always anyway do (wake up, not check stuff in the middle of the night).
I absolutely love TDD.
Dr. – Rehab?! Rehab?! I’m completely healthy, don’t know what you’re talking about. I’ll be back to my old self in 54 minutes.
900 ??
Bugger , went too early !!
Heh tabs but definitiely true. The Chopper was death trap twos-up π
Must say, I love that pic of Nutsacker on our home page right now. His expression says to me “ven zat coont Na$ri pleys at ze home of fussball I vill squash his greedy little erse and he von’t stand-up for ze month ya!”
Welcome Per and don’t forget to kick ze arse of our beloved Russian up and down the park pnce or twice if he fails to give your full backs adequate cover π
LONESTAR !!!
My sincere apologies.
Austrian……
Jack Wilshere is a legend: “The funniest #DeadLineDay joke I got today was #Kaka to spurs haha #beserious”
I absolutely love TDD.
Hmmm, success are you sure, Dr C? ;D
tabs – and then some!
Commando…..????
Premature again tabs? Or was that Wolfie π
How stupid are Bolton ????
They just lost 10MΒ£.
He’ll either sign a precontract or go for about 5MΒ£.
Bolton blown out for Cahill , bet the midget Chairman is cacking it
Not just a profit either, we our talking the GDP of a small country. Thanks Dr C will take you up on the opium offer, seems the best way to waste away the rest of this day. (hey hey).
Small whispers that we still won’t meet Everton’s valuation. Stay tuned.
900 now , surely ???!!!
Talking of premature speculation (ahem) dare I say that our defensive line-up is the best it’s been in a decade? Or more? Thoughts?
Bugger π
If a decade is less than 10 years, TS, possibly π
Almost as premature as me with that TS @891
Snir @ #886
F*ck ’em.
Duncan Castles – Sunday Times.
Seems Everton did not accept Arsenal’s Β£10m offer, even though #AFC doubled it from Tuesday. Personal terms were fine with Arteta…
…Moyes doesn’t want to sell playmaker this late + Wenger would not go higher. Arteta angry he missed out again after #MCFC offer last year
…Arsenal telling me deal is still off. #Arteta
Heh tabs @ #894, quite right! Well maybe since the year Ca$hley departed?
Dr C’s opium , Arthur’s brain destroying polish number … things are looking up π
Snir: I have seen that mentioned but that was BEFORE the latest development, that was when the deal was off.
So there is hope.
Of course, you having been on the sociology class may have missed the twist and turns. The more recent news was that Arteta pushed for the deal.
And in !!! Shoot !!!!
Oooh! Ze German ist nummer vier!
Fucking heh!
http://twitpic.com/6e55j3
Drinks going too fast for you, TS? (see 860 :p)
Ollie – I know.
This was a tweet from 4 minutes ago.
Not your day today tabs, is it π
HAha ‘holic 903!
Doh Ollie, Doh!
Duncan Castles says Arteta side resurrecting deal. Arsenal telling him deal is STILL off. Read and don’t jump to conclusions
On the other hand EFC have taken down an interview on official website with Arteta.
Well I only listen to Crystal Castles, not Duncan.
*gets coat*
‘holic at 903 – ahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar π
I jump to the conclusion that Duncan is catching up with the internet… π
This is hilarious.
Betting is 5/6 he stays 5/6 he goes
And I stick to what I said yesterday: twitter just makes even more self-important twats than they already are out of journalists. *
*there may be some exceptions
Next match I’m going to is everton so one way or another I will see the little man at the Ems…hopefully in red and white..
Excuse the poor grammar
Is that some sort of record ? Thats 301 , 501 , 601 , 699 , 801 and 901 all mine . Talk about the nearly man !!
Media in Israel saying that Yossi’s wage will stay the same and the loan has a buy option at the end of the loan.
Chelsea have announced Benayoun loan to Arsenal…
Sneijder – Thanks for all the support, from all over the world!! I will stay with Inter next season. Have a good night everyone.
‘Holic @903 heh π
Holy fuck.
Meireles hands in a written transfer request!!!
What for?! there is like 30 minutes left. In the case he stays he just burned a whole lot of bridges!
Yossi -I sign with arsenal,very happy and excited about it,but now my head is only in the game against grecce on friday,thanks for the support.
Yosso has signed now waiting on arteta come on arsenal!
Yossu next?
I meant yossi
The big question of the night –
willDaveBassettbreaktheworldrecordforspeakingwithoutpausing ?
Dont worry Snir, am expecting Joey Barton to do the same thing to QPR in the next 5 minutes
Meireles not burning bridges but going to one , i think .
Bellamy to Liverpool WTF ?
Ha ha watching Scott Dann walking into Blackburn…he looked less than delighted..
MORE BREAKING NEWS
*Sneijder confirms he’s a twat*
I respect all the Man Utd fans, who supported me the whole transfer window!
23 minutes to go!!!
This entire spectacle is more tragically entertaining than watching daytime talkshows dominated by clucking hens.
* shaking my head at the whole lot of ya* π
Stop the insanity… π
BMBD
Theory – Meireles was sold by AVB quite quickly after he got the job at Porto to Liverpool. Doesn’t rate him.
AW?????!?!?! π
Hmm, so Benayound and Arteta. Good signings for the medical team to study? π
-d
18 minutes.
The big question is on everyone’s lips:
Will Snir survive?
I go on a 3 hour appointment, come back and there are 300 unread comments (298 from Snir-ha) I have a lot of catching-up to do. So, can someone summarize….is Yossi and/or Arteta in? Anyone else? Sounds like Bendtner is so desparate to leave his dad is pimping him to any club that will listen.
Lonestar… looks like only you and I inhaled….!!
Pass the pipe again….
Hey Lonestar , get yer pipe and get with the programme π
We couldn’t beat Ging Gang so we had to join him .
Heh, Ollie… my thoughts exactly!
BMBD.
Dave Bassett….. his face when he talks….. is Nurse Wolfie performing a pr examination???
Hope all this was worth those 8 dropped points at the end of the season..
Right with you Noel73, it seems the Prof thought the youth could mature and realized it was just a pipe dream.
Some more quotes to chew on:
arseblog: David Moyes – “Mikel informed me he wanted to join arsenal. I’m disappointed to lose him.'” via @johncrossmirror
Don’t forget to spit after.
Holy fuck!
Moyes-“Mikel informed me he wanted to join arsenal.I’m disappointed to lose him but CL football is not something I can offer him”
Beat me to it Ollie eh? π
Arteta hanging around goodison? Surely waiting to put pen to paper.
Pascal cygan hanging around the grove w/SSN?
Holic, please add an auto-update feature as I continue to fall behind during these last frenzied moments, ha.
Cesc – I dnt undrstand fans telling me we need a replacement after my departure when weve 1 of the best 3 young players in the world @JackWilshere
Did Yosser ring arsene up and say Gis A job ( oldie but a goodie)
@AAllenSport:
Cesc Fabregas (remember him?)…is awake.
He tweets: “I dnt undrstand fans telling me we need a replacement after my departure when weve 1 of the best 3 young players in the world @JackWilshere”
You have to wonder why someone so clearly in love with Arsenal went back to Barça :p
Dr C @942 – Certainly not ! Standards , dear Chap , standards .
Haha, Snir, beat me to it. 1-1 !
The Snir and Ollie update race is in full swing.
Legend;
“I dnt undrstand fans telling me we need a replacement after my departure when weve 1 of the best 3 young players in the world @JackWilshere”
One Mr Fabregas via Twitter.
Who has Jack..?? Great lad. Genuine Gooner.
Unfortunately also genuine Barca boy!!
Yossi is official:
http://www.chelseafc.com/page/LatestNews/0,,10268~2437938,00.html
Legend in the making;
JackWilshere Jack Wilshere
@
@cesc4official thank you mate keep up the good work at Barca mate you are on fire! I am watching every game and still learning of you!
I may have read that ‘tweet’ somewhere, Dr C.
Tabs – You’re getting a half statue.
If Cesc returns to AFC in his career after I wrote in the drinks I need to get a whole statue, but we’ll love that for a couple of years π
Jack also said biggest joke he heard all day was kaka to spurs…brilliant
Joshua, please do not link to Chavski FC football site :p
It will be fully official when it’s on .con.
They seem to be working tonight as the Mertesacker confirmation suggests.
I really wish Cesc would give it (and us) a break. Nothing is worse than a break-up where the party who advocated the break-up still wants to hang-out, reminisce about the “good times”, and show “concern” about the aggrieved party’s future.
Just be off with ya…
BMBD.
Snir and Ollie – he’s just a Gooner now, like the rest of us…am loving that he still can’t cut the cord…
Re: Tabs @917: Transfixed by numerology, or what??
Re: Snir @946: Holy moly, batman!!
Arteta is done!
Arteta has signed
I mean, really?
Ooohh, Cesc just meantioned us. He still thinks of us. He still cares…
Pfff. Enough already.
BMBD.
Are you jumping the gun, Snir?
Re: Ollie @931: Heh
Re: Ollie @935: Double Heh
I hope i don’t have to sit here for 24 hours waiting for conf of Arteta
apologies, Ollie. *orders drinks for everyone in bar*
Robbie Savage on Football Focus Special on Craig Bellamy re-joining Liverpool: “He will be a fantastic signing for Liverpool. Two years ago he was arguably the best player in the Premier League. I think that he will be an impact player, coming off the bench, playing on the right and the left.
The best player in the Premier League?
Jaysus, Lady Savage’s mentalness never stops.
http://www.arsenal.com/news/news-archive/arsenal-agree-loan-move-for-yossi-benayoun
Lonestar it is the effect Arsenal have on players, only cunts like nasri who move for money forget what they had here.
How do we know he signed, Snir, have you hacked Arsene’s phone?
Lonestar
Watching Cesc with Barca is like seeing an ex that you have both agreed to “mutually” split up (ok she wanted it more than you), and you want the best for her.
You like to see her happy. Unfortunately her new BF is a rich playboy. Fortunately, he is a cunt, and you know you are better than him.
Bittersweet.
Ok now all we need is one more signing.
A medical team!
Benayoun, TV, Arteta, etc.
We need a better medical team!!
http://www.arsenal.com/news/news-archive/arsenal-agree-loan-move-for-yossi-benayoun
Now it’s official π
Arteta, Benayoun, Park, Mertesacker, Santos. That’s five new players in the last 24 hours. Competition is the word of the day. Our existing players are going to have to fight for their places. Complacency as seen at Old Trafford? I don’t think we’ll be seeing such a display again very soon. π
And that’s one point to Joshua!
No guys arteta is an arsenal player now, it’s confirmed
404 Not Found
The following error occurred: [code=CONTENT_NOT_PRESENT] Content is temporarily not present. Contact your system administrator.
That’s the home page of .con.
INTERNET MELTDOWN!!!
Good one CG
So the circus freak from the LWCs joins The Munsters. That has got to be a match made in heaven. Rumour has it, even Pubis doesn’t want to take a shower with the team any more….
The board pissed the shit out of me.
Did we have to be humiliated like that to open the wallet?!
Anyway, very pleased with the outcome of summer, not pleased with how it was done.
Drink number 1000 for Holic, surely?
Stand back, gentlemen…..
Its just been announced there will be a minimum of 10 minutes injury time to the transfer window .
Re: Ollie @984 Arsenal have passed the allowable limit of players purchased on TDD. Website meltdown is the new standard penalty imposed by the EPL/FA/UEFA/FIFA and other authorities for this offence.
I still see no sign of Arteta confirmed beyond the two drinks there….
Catalan, I believe tabs is lying in wait for #1001.
http://twitpic.com/6e5e40
The moyes quote.
Can’t go to bed before 1,000. I was promised fireworks outside at the end of the transfer window but I’m hearing nothing.
Bendtner signs for Sunderland on loan (via Arseblog)
Bendy to finally realise his ambitions at sunderland…oh dear
Looks just like a possible prospective article, Snir, certainly wouldn’t base anything official on that.
Fair play to Bendy, should get more playing time. And he didn’t go to Stoke.
Joshua ha ! π reckon its a sneaky move on Dr C’s part to nab it himself
I’m off to history lesson.
Have a drink everyone!
Well done lads, a 1000 must be a record.
Get IN!!!!!
Anyway I’m off!
Meireles at Chelsea!
pardon ?
At least bendy went to a clean club with a decent manager. And it’s only a loan deal so if he improves the same way that welbeck did then we’re in
Wow, 1,000 posts, surely Snir is on the payroll.
arseblog: Arteta done!
Not sure if I should trust this man though :p
Well deserved Snir, a fountain of information today
bugger !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! missed by one again
Shame on you Joshua for nicking 1001 from Tabs, but at least he got 999. π
Agreed Joshua @ #998. How he could even consider it though, I do not understand….
David Ornstein BBC – I can confirm Arteta and Bendtner are DONE deals #bbcfootball #afc #safc #efc
Heh that were 10 quick drinks to go bast 1000. I was worried I would be 1000 there but I see it was long gone.
8ball, I was actually going for 999.
Stop worrying ollie Arteta’s ours now
I’m exhausted.
Off to 3 hours of Western Civilization History π
We’ll start making history from the Swansea match.
Not sure I agree, Dr. C.
Then again, I’ve never had a good break-up.
Either she hates me, or she hates me first, and then her hatred forces me to dislike her.
Either way, I’ve never had more than a feeling of benign disdain for any of my exes. Certainly never felt like keeping in touch over twitter, facebook, phone, smoke signals, etc.
Just me.
Well, well, well. The club, got its arse in gear and made 5 signings (sit on it, moaners); and
posted a transfer window profit of around $35mil (sit on it, those supporters who actually wanted football-generated proceeds to be reinvested into making the team stronger – instead of marginal improvements [read keeping the status quo] and continuing to drain equity from the football-operations side)
Not sure whether to be chuffed or pissed. I guess I’ll settle on cautious optimism.
Barca Must Be Destroyed.
Well the portents are good, so I think I can go to bed assuming that Arteta deal is indeed done as you all seem to indicate.
Goodnight, folks, it’s been a fun evening on the drinks!
Shots of your choice to close the bar?
http://news.ladbrokes.com/en-gb/football/premier-league/arsenal-confirm-fifth-signing-of-the-day-as-arteta-arrives-at-emirates_075070.html
note “sources”
Arteta a Gooner !! SSN
Ollie just confirmed on sky now Get in
GT
Yep, quite happy with NB only going on loan. Especially with Chamakh still to get out of his fug, and Ju-Yeung only here for 2 years.
Mirieles to Chelsea… that has to be the faster transfer ever.
Like Snir, overall happy with the result of everything (hands up who thought we would make 5 signings on Sunday), but it really shouldn’t have come to the last day.
AW actually found replacements for everything and STRENGTHENED the team!
We’ve got arteta!!
So Arteta signed, I predicted this by buying him for my PES 11 master league team.
Psychic, me.
I’m off guys, love you and this bar.
Up the Arse!
Sings..Arteta he’s betta than nasri…who’s cats wee
1000 plus drinks – Dr Feelgood will be anticipating a busy service after the interlull.
See you on the dark side of the moon, pranksters.
According to gunnerblog, Arteta @colney today at 1830. Not sure where he is now…
Sorry if it’d been posted here already, don’t remember seeing it tho, drink up folks! Strength has surely been added.
CG, SG agreed everything is now more less reasonably covered. Just need to see now if it can all work. The left back and centre back are my favourites however i’m ready to love everyone else as our own! Well done afc!
Certifiably barking π
G’night Dr Z .
Nice one Noel π
Exhausted .
Quite exciting in the end. We should be able to do something this year with the new squad we’ve assembled.
No one can argue that we didn’t have a massive clear-out as well in one way, shape or form.
So bought/loaned 9 players in the end, that’s quite a bit of business.
And I’ll stop there, and keep my glass half-full π
Hopefully that will shut up the doomers for a while. The Happy Train is back on the rails.
COME ON YOU GUNNERS!!!
Joshua
The HT never left the rails.
G’night and keep the faith π
Our new bench:
Jenkinson, Kos, Gibbs, Frimpers, Ramsey, Yossi, Ju-Yeung, Arshavin (if we have to).
Now THAT is a bit more depth…..
With Benny Hill & Arteta as MF replacements, we won’t have to worry about Barca pursuing any of those 2 next summer.
Its been emotional Chaps .
I would say end result is nowhere near as good as it should have been , but a lot better than it may have been .
Off for a lie down .
TABS – other than no Kaka, overall I think it’s about right, in the end. Team, not Galacticos. Time will tell.
M’Vila would have been great, but…. these are our boys now.
Sweet dreams, all
Bring on Swan…. &%#@! Interlull …
Agreed Dr C – and Joshua , I’ll second that .
Arteta a good fit, defence looks better, think we have weakened the strike force with the loss of bendy instead of chamack. Well the season starts here, no more speculation, as usual will be a rollercoaster ride but I for one will enjoy every minute of it…Great blogging here tonight, would hate to be anywhere else..now am off to get more beer..
So what’s the final tally on the transfer window profit?
BMBD.
Snir @979 – “now we need a better medical team”.
If we get one, I hope the players take a lot more notice of them than you do !!
Official: http://www.arsenal.com/news/news-archive/arteta-joins-arsenal-on-a-four-year-deal
LJW seems delighted at Arteta, so I stand corrected with my previous ‘meh’ness….
Disappointed that we still seem to have a bundle of dosh in the transfer pot, so I hope it will be used to piss off old red nose, twitchy, pubis et al come January with some ‘super quality’ steals then.
Glass still half full, but keeping a beady eye on the Board. Night all folks.
Heh! Trev @1044 !! π
All areas of the team addressed. A top recognised striker and a
top-top midfielder would have been even better, but let’s wait and see.
It seems the clubs who own the likes of Martin, M’Vila and Hazard were all absolutely determined that they would not part with their star players.
With Yossi on a season loan maybe next summer one of them can be prized away.
Or even in January if Rennes are out of the Europa League and M’Vila becomes less crucial for them.
Haven’t attempted to work out the figures, but I agree with ‘Holic that it seems outrageous to have increased ticket prices in the summer and then finish up with cΒ£60million profit from the transfer window.
Did we sign super-quality? Time will tell.
But George Graham always believed in buying players who were on the way up, never on the way down. Didn’t do to badly with our back four at the time.
So many international captains now (does that include TV5 ?, cos it should) there must be some leaders in the team now.
With 9 out and 9 in, at least the club can’t be accused of inactivity.
Up to us to get behind them now. π
Hi Catalan – don’t know about you, but joking aside, I am actually exhausted.
Snowy… I was quite taken by the enthusiasm LJW was showing for Yossi and especially Arteta.
I guess some money has to be put aside for wages etc, and hopefully RVP’s contract extension. Wouldn’t it be nice if that was announced soon too?? And Theo too.
In the end I think that the club have shown the ambition they would have been looking for. Especially in Mertesacker, Santos and Arteta. Seemingly all solid, class professionals. What we have been lacking.
Me too, Trev. Good night.
Snir, try and get some sleep. Seriously! π
Well Bugger me. What a 48 hours that was. I will still never understand why the bulk of those deals could not be done 6weeks ago but they are done now. I welcome u all to The Arsenal and I hope u have a long and prosperous stay.
Drinks all round.
On a very final note, let’s not foget TV5, Woj, Rambo, and most of all LJW
I’m sure you all remember that when Cesc broke into the team people highlighted his lack of goals as the only thing missing…. the next few seasons that all changed.
Cesc has always said that Jack is better at his age than he was. As long as this injury clears up, then Jack is going to get better and better….
@1053 – agreed. G’night JohnBoy.
@ Steve T
“Well Bugger me. What a 48 hours that was. I will still never understand why the bulk of those deals could not be done 6weeks ago but they are done now.”
Because it takes two to tango – or three, if you include the player. All the business in our price range was done at the end of the window.
Brilliant business, AFC.
CG @1050 – very good points.
As regards LJW, who knows how much of his enthusiasm is down to being a ‘good company man’ but most of his tweets seem to come from the heart, so I hope he sees something in these signings that’s good for the club and good for him – solid experience, good players players to learn good things from…time will tell I guess.
Hope the boy gets fit soon, and that we nail RVP and Theo’s long term future/contracts pronto. Would hate either of them to be tempted by the gigantic piles of cash that the classless, history-ess f*cktard teams have at their disposal.
No doubt we can reflect more later when we’re not all so shattered, but for now, despite the lack of marquee signings, it does seem like a pretty decent transfer window for us. Some holes plugged, some age and guile brought in. Hope it works for the new kids, they need some old savvy buggers to learn the ropes from. Hope this goes a ways towards that.
I am so thrilled we got Arteta.
Always rated him!!
Now I have to take Yossi out of my fantasy team! Have too many gooners now!!
Joshua @ 1034 “Hopefully that will shut up the doomers for a while”.
Not a chance, mate. They’re all totally pissed off because we’ve done some superb deals and Arsene has shown them once more that they’re all arseholes.
I Don’t Know Anything will be here shortly telling us that our squad is still weaker than the Spain national team combined with the All Blacks and so therefore Arsene Wenger is a cloth eared c*nt. QED. He and many others are preparing for their anti-board demo right now.
So AW has:
– Spent 0M on the best prospect on the planet – the Polestar
– Slur Alex – 19M on a DeGea De Dodgy leaker
– Eboue out for 4M
– The Jenk in for 1M
– Is daylight robbery legal now??
– Germany’s finest in for 8.8M
– Slur Alex 20M on whatsisname from whoarethey?
– Cahill stuck at Bolton for 20M+ (poor bar steward!)
– T. Verminator an Arsene Wenger “New Signing”
– The weakest llnk off to Shitty for 8M – HAPPY!.
– Traore off to QPR for 4M – ECSTATIC!
– Santos in for 6.8M. YES!!
– Cescie out for 35M – Regretted. Good luck, son.
– Nasri in for 11M, out for 25M. Regretted. Resented.
– Arteta. Class. A steal at 10M. Our best deal.
– Yossi in on a free loan. Are you kidding me? 2 thumbs up
– Lansbury – good development opportunity at the Irons
– The Frimpstone and Coquelin – 2 “new signings”
– C.Y. Park Arsenal No 9 in for errrr…2.5M (???)
– Gervinho in for 11M
– Alex the OC in for 9M
– Bendy off on a Sundy Bender
– Vela off to the land of no return
We had a GREAT squad before these guys came in. We’ve got an even better squad now. Sunday was an away defeat. Nothing more. Nowt Less. Unbeaten till Christmas – then we’ll get serious.
Arsenal, Bloody Arsenal. Only ONE Arsene Wenger.
Been helping a friend to move tonight (bad planning on his part… he is a gooner and all) so I missed everything from after “Arteta deal is OFF”.
I must say I’m well pleased at the moment.
The team we’ve got now is not a team that is guaranteed to win anything. But now we are equiped well enough to give it a proper go, and that for me is all that matters. Now we’ve got a season to look forward to, a season of ups and (I’m pretty sure) downs. That’s all I can ever ask for! We are a football team for petes sake. Not a mathematical law that always gives the same result. We’ve got a good competative squad, we’ve got a players with potential (and when I say that I’m not talking just to be positive about the future, but rather talking about the joy of watching players grow up with the club, and it IS a joy) and we’ve got almost a complete season left.
This is where it all starts ladies and gents!
Thrilled we’re out of the transfer window.
Thrilled we’ve done deals good enough to make me hope but not EXPECT.
That’s the best feeling of them all, I say.
Well done, backroom dealers. I gotta say that worked out pretty nice. We’ll never know if all the late action was strictly Man U fallout or was part of their hard to follow plan all along, but aside from being some points adrift and taking one square in the chin, we ain’t looking bad now!
Pints all around and a song for the Arsenal, Wenger, and Mr. Holic!
Oh, and a great summary BtM. Didn’t expect any less.
I knew it! Just had to come back here for BtM to give us all I needed to know about today.
3 (adult) signings in one day, that’s our absolute record I imagine.
Keep calm and carry on.
Pint please barman.
Chippy, your namesake, a chipmunk is somewhere inside my house and we have the dog and cat trying to corner it and send it into the trap which is baited with walnuts. Here Chippy Chippy Chippy. We want to farm you out to West Ham ….
Hefeweizen, that is. It’s my chipmunk hunting brew. π
Now that we shipped out all the other chipmunks to Man City and such backwoods locales, let’s see the new signings do their stuff. Can Swansea make it any sooner than Saturday week??
And so concludes a fine run of drinking. The bar is now open.
—->
bt8bbgfg, you are one cold-hearted, predatory, mean mofo. Guinness on me, if you’re drinking.