Shenley, Wee Geordie, Anelka, And Arsenal Player, The Apology
Nov 11th, 2011 by 'holic
The trip to the Training Centre on Monday provided a reminder of one of my favourite Gooners. Three years have passed since I was asked who would be in my all-time Arsenal eleven and alongside modern day giants like Vieira, Pires, Bergkamp and Henry I selected one George Armstrong. A number of you who visit here will know why. The younger ones should look up the host of Arsenal seventies clips on YouTube.
There are ten pitches on the site at Shenley, nine of which are split equally between first team, reserves, and youth teams. The tenth is the match pitch on which under-18 and reserve team matches are played. This pitch is named after Geordie, who sadly passed away in 2000 after collapsing while coaching his young charges. As player (1961 – 1977) and coach (1990 – 2000), George had spent much of his adult life at Arsenal. The much-respected Brian Glanville penned George’s obituary in the Guardian.
I have had the good fortune to have a chat with a a number of players who were around in the sixties and seventies, and the little man is always mentioned early in any discussion about those days. He may have been small in stature, but nobody covered more ground for the Arsenal cause. George was a non-stop back to front player on either flank, and as our North London neighbours discovered at Highbury in the 1970-71 double season, he could also come inside to provide the odd deadly finish as well.
I was reminded of him again when hearing a little anecdote about the 1997 arrival of Nicolas Anelka, who was named on the bench for a reserve team game because his clearance papers, although imminent, had not arrived in time for kick-off. Sure enough they turned up as the game was in progress and George, presumably under orders from Le Boss, sent his latest signing on. The unknown French lad immediately carved his way through the opposition defence, all stepovers and at bewildering pace before the inevitable goal arrived. Wee Geordie just rolled his eyes and said of Arsene’s latest capture “**** me, he’s gone and found another one.”
How ironic that it was Anelka’s move to Real Madrid just two years later that paid for Arsenal’s new Training Centre, next door to their previous one which is now occupied by Watford.
Arsenal Player Update
The Arsenal Player people have been in touch after I recently raised the fullscreen playback issue on the Mac platform with them. I know a number of you were suffering from the same problem.
“We sincerely regret the full screen issue, and apologise for the inconvenience that it is causing. We are working as hard as we can to fix this. We apologise once again and thank you for your patience.”
So there. You aren’t seeing things (if you’ll pardon the very gentle pun), and they are working on it. Let’s hope it doesn’t take too long.
Have a good weekend, ‘holics
And if you are in the UK and have yet to sign the petition against public funding for our neighbours planned redevelopment of the swamp, you can do it here.
North London is ours.
329 Responses to “Shenley, Wee Geordie, Anelka, And Arsenal Player, The Apology”
A cool glass of water please.
Been a long day.
Great post, as ever Guvnor.
My recollections of George are mainly in black and white.
Life got more colourful as we approached the end of the 70s ๐
Get in there Zico!
e Goooooooooooooaaaaaallllllll!!!!
Well done, Zico.
BMBD!
Long day here as well, have had a few quite busy days at work and I am now at our little country house where is seems the broadband modem has decided to go all retro on me and is giving me a whopping 20 Kbit/second, so I am now using my iPhone as a gateway to the internet which works fairly well at times but the 3G coverage here is a bit rickety so surfing the web is a bit of an on-and-off experience right now. Frustrating, I want to be able to visit this bar whenever I want to and not just when a crappy old modem or a very volatile phone network allows me!
There, just had to ventilate. But now I can finally catch up on the last ten or so hours of madness in the previous session!
Its very gratifying to hear about Geordie.
He was a terrific winger and Walcott is not fit to clean his boots.I also met him and he was a lovely man.He had a great engine was completely two footed ,was tricky and quick and put the ball on a sixpence.Sadly for him( like Peter Simpson) he didn’t play in an era when caps were given out like Smarties and he never played for England. But he was a key part of the Double side and would be incredibly useful to us now.
For those not watching Kos just picked up his obligatory yellow card v.USA. Nice left elbow too.
‘holic, Great anecdotes about George Armstrong, and great aerial photos of Shenley too. Courtesy of the Russian spy agency, perhaps? ๐
Ok, I’m quite confused.
The first team trains at London Colney, right? The medical center is in Shenley, right?
Is that the same place or not? I know both places are in Hertfordshire but don’t know if they’re the same place! (is that in London or not? If not why is London Colney called LONDON colney?) If not, why does the medical site have ten (!!!) pitches if the training isn’t done there?
Sterling work in the previous drinks by all – provided some good laughs as usual!
Shame I can’t be there for the EGM on December 10th. Sounds like it’s going to be a right old piss-u… I mean very serious meeting where important matters will be discussed.
Historically the site was said to be at London Colney, Snir, but if you check the map of the area Colney is the other side of the M25. Bell Lane, which is where the Centre is, is in the village of Shenley, as far as the Royal Mail are concerned.
Holic, I found your satellite photos at Google Maps so you are no longer under suspicion of pertaining to the Russian spy agency. ๐
Evening Holic
Firstly,my apologies for posting an innocent story about the goings on at the Mexican Jail down Acapulco way,that seems to have taken on a life of it’s own,thanks to the madcap bastards on here.
They know who they are.!!
I have another ‘ innocent ‘ story which i will post later,that i think will cause a bit more uproar,so apologies in advance.
On the subject of wee Geordie and the innocent 60’s and 70’s.
I wonder what the players from those nostalgic days,when they quite often took the bus to Highbury on training and Match days,had a spare pair of boots if they were lucky,were payed a few hundred quid a week,no mobile phones/IPads/internet/Twitter/facebook,would think about today’s world.
If they had had a Crystal Ball and had been able to see the future,what would they have said about the greed and avarice and tantrums now so prevalent in Football today.
I would like to think they would prefer ‘ their era’ ,when you played for the love of your Club first and foremost,enjoyed a great camararderie with their fellow team members,and considered it a
privilege to represent The Arsenal.
Cheers
Clive
Too right Clive.
There’s a lot to despise about the modern game – mainly brought about by money and greed.
OJ on the bar for you, and glad to see you left the dwarves at home. ๐
‘holic you said those who weren’t familiar with Armstrong should have a look at some of the clips. Well I found a good one:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gYCHw3lG86U
Another OJ for Clive who is making plenty of good sense this evening. ๐
Great Van Persie clip:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nVik94HNJzQ&feature=fvwrel
Thnks Zico.
The Dwarves are only at home because they/he/she cannot agree on whether they are he/she for the Friday night piss up at ‘ The Shorties only ‘ Bar down the Tottenham Court Rd.
The Dwarf Dress Code was taking a right beating.
When i left the house he/she/they were rolling around on the floor fighting like girly girls,with the language of a Dockside Navvy.
Go figure.
8 Ball,
Thnks for the Compliment.
I have the odd sane moment.!!
cheers
Clive
He’s staying.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?NR=1&v=ZHLsP7kmq5A
Theo’s understanding with RvP is amazing.
Theo’s Top 20 assists – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YOsPXNhzkQw
9 of them to RvP.
Great clip @19, Snir. It was interesting to see RVP talking about his dreams as a younger man, to play at Feyenoord first and then Arsenal or Barcelona. Let’s hope that hasn’t changed to Arsenal AND Barcelona.
8ball, there can only be one reason for that.
Dutch roots.
Overmars, Bergkamp at Arsenal.
Cruyff, De Boer brothers, Cocu etc…
I’m kinda surprised he didn’t say Milan as well with the Dutch trio being one of the most famous ones and practically responsible for winning Euro 88.
I guess he just liked DB more… ๐
I don’t think he’s on Barca’s wish list. Therefore he’s already living his dream ๐
And a great Walcott clip, a real highlight reel and what a thrill to see that great run again on #20. ๐
Is this bar still open?
Apologies if I’m late but there was a Family gathering to attend to, too many straight vodkas I say.
Szczesny made a blunder tonight the very first I have seen, however there is explanation for his actions. His silly Polish defenders have allowed fireworks in the house to fly in! He doesn’t like celebrating he kisses his Italian badge and looks as if he was just about to take dump because frankly to me he looked a little pale from where the camera was! Italians were shyte especially in the first half we could have bagged at least three, anyway their acting was also good they were the experienced team at the end of the day they beat us 0:2 tonight!
What will be the score tomorrow Holics? Apologies nothing against Terry and all that!
Drink on Polish geezers TABski…..
Wisniowka anyone????
Arthur, Most likely I will share a Wisniowka with you, but please explain exactly what it is before I take my first large sip.
bt8bbgfg
Definitely breathe out before you take a sip it can be up 60% vol….
It’s cherry vodka mate don’t worry it’s nice gives you that all round nice warm feeling ๐
What is good about it is that you get real cherries inside too
Cream anyone ๐
Barman, I’ll take a WIS please and offer a toast to SZCZ and thanks to Arthur for my Polish education!
Na zdrowie bt8bbgfg
I’m going to be a really small child now and play Fifa online Come on you Gooooooooooooooooonnnnnners!!!!!!!!!!!!
@ snir Geuli
My map of the UK shows London colney in St Albans, Hertfordshire.
I never knew that. Whenever Nigel reports from London Colney on Arsenal.com I always assumed it was somewhere in greater London. Wrong again.
http://maps.google.com/maps?hl=en&sugexp=lttma,n%3D100&cp=11&gs_id=3d&xhr=t&q=london+colney&gs_upl=&bav=on.2,or.r_gc.r_pw.,cf.osb&biw=1280&bih=885&
mOrning all – nice clips, 8ball and Snir, thanks.
Snir, you know that EVERYONE is on Barca’s list!!
Hopefully they keep concentrating on Neymar…..
Ollie – fat fingers and love notes on Twitter last night! Priceless.
NIce post Holic – you’re minimising the effects of the interlull.
For once I will actually be watching the England game today. Bizarrely most of the native family will be supporting England!
Coffee please.
Ok, this is absolutely hilarious.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=Udr4wH82Muw
Although his AW impression is quite lousy, but his Hansen impression had me LMAO.
Not to mention his Adebayor impression… AWESOME!
And I’m quite sure he’s a Gooner.
Q for Ollie – did you see Kos playing last night? – due to other prorities only saw last 5 mins where he was playing very well – unlike his teammates up front who must have greased their boots the way they skewed their shots
Youve got to admire Capello, protecting Terry from the temptation of doing another pratfall today in Englands 4-0 defeat
Good stuff young Clive, but my post of the night award goes to Arthur.
I would love a good large Wisniowka please. It has been a long time. I think I will look out for a bottle this weekend.
Morning all.
Morning Holic.
Must have been a night for nostalgia last night,
I read your post on Wee Geordie,and then i watched my all time favorite ‘live’ music show of The ‘ Big O ‘ and Friends,with Elvis C and
Brucie in the support band,and a very young K D Lang on backing vocals.
Almost 90 mins of some of the best songs ever written.
Every song a Classic,with the best voice on the Planet.
God i miss him.
But his songs will keep me warm till I’m in the ground.
Cheers
Clive
Dear Sirs.
I discovered this yesterday:
http://www.les-bieres.fr/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/maredsous-10.jpg
It is both delicious and dangerous.
Please stock in the HT bar.
Yours hangoverly.
Ollie
*BOILK*
Are you sure that doesn’t say horse linament, Ollie?
10% ABV and part of the Duvel family – I feel your pain, Ollie. ๐
Morning young zico.
Whisper it, but we have sun in the West…
And here too Holic – wont stop Roxette dragging me to some soulless shopping centre – alas she has learned its an interlull ๐
Same problem here. The management has promised to finish her Christmas shopping today so I’ll go with the flow. Thought about going down to watch Swindon Town, then thought “Fuck it. They never came to see me when I was bad.”
Christmas shopping, wow!
Fairly sunny here too.
Hope your head is clearing, Ollie.
Slowly, slowly, ‘holic.
It could be interesting:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/hi/football/15700423.stm
Afternoon All ,
53 days to go to Christmas , 52 days until I do any Christmas shopping ๐ Right , who have we got today ? What’s that ? Oh ๐
How the bloody hell am I meant to get behind a team captained by that sorry excuse for a human being John Terry ? Answers on a postcard please .
Nice post ‘Holic . I once saw Geordie Armstrong . I was 7 , so conversation was a bit limited . We were both at the Intimate Theatre in Palmers Green N13 enjoying the Amateur production of Cinderella . At least George was . My eyes , to the chagrin of my mother, remained firmly fixed on the man in the kipper tie and long black leather overcoat !
Cheers for the Geordie clip 8ball @15 . RIP George .
Nice post Clive @13 , and I look forward to the next “innocent ” story ๐
Arthur @24 – Nice post ๐
Dr C @32 – I’m looking for a bit of education . I kinda get the Catalan/Spanish divide , separate national identity blah blah , ( though I’m ashamed to say I don’t know the history ) .
You mentioned the in-laws won’t be supporting Spain today . Did Spain enjoy the support of the region during the World Cup , and if not , are the Barca players that play for Spain , viewed as in some way traitorous ?
A round of Maredsous’s please Barman , and a chaser for Ollie .
TABS
They were supported, but in a sort of “meh” way. Of course, when they won, it was all down to the Barca players! Actually, along with Casillas, it probably was, so fair do’s.
Let’s just say that when the TV went around the country showing all of the celebrations in town squares etc, they didn’t bother with Barcelona!
The players aren’t seen as traitorous though – no one really believes in a seperate Catalan national team – they already have Barca.
I guess it would be the same if there were English players playing for a GB team – not as important as England, but you’d be happy for them if they won the Olympics.
Not that England are important with this bunch of cun8s playing right now – I’m tempted to cheer for Soain!
Nice post ‘Holic, very nice to hear about George Armstrong as I am one of those younger Gooners, he seemed like he was a top bloke.
Every time I fall behind on the comments, I regret it profusely. This occasion was no different as I spent the last two days catchhing up on ‘Shenley In Focus’ drinks and this is what I have to say on the madness (matter) ๐ at hand.
@ Zico, Your Feelgood entries make me cry genuine tears of joy :’)
I’ve only start posting regularly so I don’t understand the full back-story about the Happy Train and the DLL Ltd and Dr (lol) FeelGood & Nurse Wolfie’s origins (anyone care to take a crack?) but you go a long way to keeping me in the wildly gyrating loop. Your last entry @527 on Shenley In Focus was a work of art,
@ ‘Holic, I wish to learn your effortless goal technique, it is remarkable! A bit rigged, but you are the barman ๐ Have to slyly agree with Lonestar about the wire-tapping though…
@tabs. “Will it just be Holic and I guarding The GoonerHolic flag against the Barbarian hordes of The Arseblog Army ??”
I applaud you good sir :D, also for your speculative punt/cross at goal.
@Catalan Gunner, that Arsenal porn make me cry, oh for a return to the old days… The King of Highbury, sitting proudly on his throne ๐
@ Snir, a very, VERY late Happy Birthday, apologies, I was swamped out of my mind with stuff I had to do and I couldn’t make the time to congratulate you, hope it was everything you hoped it to be ๐
Signed that petition against the Spuds re-developing their shoddy patch, do it by yourself or not at all is what I say on that situation.
Heh, strange how I fell behind as soon as Modern Warfare 3 came out, oh well, back to my vice ๐
wind, thanks for the kind words.
The only Call of Duty I heed, is to get myself to the bar. ๐
Wind, to get part of the background, click on the Behind the Arse tab at the top of the page. You won’t be sorry. ๐
Zico, you deserve them ๐
@8 Ball, I hear, and I do.
More stuff for all your babelfish
http://www.francefootball.fr/#!/news/2011/11/12/151741_koscielny-je-ne-suis-pas-inferieur-a-rami-et-mexes.html
Sensible chap
@ 8 Ball, my good sir.
I have laughed hard before. I have laughed myself into Hysterics! But this laughter, this laughter… X_X Could of left me comatose.
Rice-Gobbers, Wolfie as a deviant, Red Ants and Hornets, so much more than I can mention, oh tabs you absolute legend of a legend, my hand is stuck in the salute position after reading what I have just read and Tears are welling up uncontrollably in my eyes.
Typing this one handed as a result (Wolfie/Shaft style ๐ )
Dr C @49 50 , thanks very much for the Info . I had always wondered .
Wind @51 – Thank you kind Sir ! Care to join at Everton ?
8Ball @53 – Thanks for the Promo ! New episode out soon , as long as I don’t get stuck in the Pub this weekend ๐
Dr Z @52 – I hear ya !
Ollie @55 – Cheers for the link . Have to say , I’ve got really high hopes for Kos .
Cheers Wind !!! High praise indeed ! I’ll get you one in on Lars tab ๐
Afternoon holics.
Been swamped over the last few days, so I’ll have to catch up on the previous drinks (200plus on previous post) some other time, so forgive me if I repeat something already said.
Watched the NL v Swiss game last night aka RvP v JD, nothing at all to report and the game was as tedious as it was meaningless, a drab 0-0 draw in front of a bored just over half full stadium. I would however like to mention my appreciation to van Maarwijk (Dutch coach) for sending RvP home, so he can rest, yesterday as per AW’s request. In this day and age of meaningless internationals it’s nice to see international coaches who actually give a fuck about their players’ clubs. Bert, bedankt!!!
Saturday afternoon, voddie time!!!
That’s good news H2H, but I wouldn’t go overboard with praise for the Dutch international set up – didn’t RvP get his last serious injury bar one in a meaningless friendly against Italy?
Here’s hoping he is now cryogenically frozen until next Friday or at least avoids walking under ladders, cracks in the pavements etc.
Bloody Mary?
Good old Lars, eh?
@57, I’d like to come Tabs, but only the dregs of seats are left for the Everton game and sitting in the West Stand behind the dugout is my next aim after North Bank 12, East Stand 19, Clock End 21/22 and East Stand Box 66 ๐ heh heh. Looks like you and ‘Holic will have to face the oncoming hordes without me ๐
I’ve pretty much filled my quota for games this half of the season anyway, anymore would be detrimental to my bank account and academics even more sadly ๐
Yes please Z, cheers.
Can’t really blame the Dutch set up for the i-tie nightmare tackle, however, I do agree that their assesment of the injury wasn’t as good as it could of been, but that’s not just a problem they have, TV’s two weeks = a year, for example.
Still, good to have him back, as the Dutch’s next opponents are ze Germans and in my experience when they face each other, it is never a “friendly”.
ollie @55 – Cognac paper says Kos didnt have much to do but everything he had to do was done well!
Wales winning 2-1 with 10 mins to go – Rambo working well but the goal they gave away was softest I’ve seen in a while
Excellent minute of silence before England most likely get smashed ๐
My point was H2H more about missing so much football getting crocked in a meaningless match – this whole specific break for internationals is a nonesense, when there’s nothing to play for.
Cheers, Cognac. I was looking around t’internet for feedback on the game, and I got assessment of his performance that varied from solid to meh.
I think the common ground is that the opposition wasn’t good enough to judge him really (most mention he could have conceded a penalty; I didn’t see any of the game so can’t say).
Ollie was busy being a bad influence on the drinkers of Frelgian ๐
heh ‘holic
Get in Theo, great defending lad!
Extract 10th Novemberย
Dear Diary
Roxette has been in a bit of a funk since I jumped on the DVD player. ย
Extreme times call for extreme measures, but I thought it a bit mean of her to insist that I curl up beside the chimp for company last night, especially since he refused to take off the Spurs top – there are depths to which even I will not plunge when it comes to nocturnal companionship. ย If he had taken the shirt off, though, well I guess we’ll never know……
Still trying to work out the best course of action for D L Ltd, given the clusterfuck of events since the Mexican arrived. ย
I’m not particularly worried about the EGM that Edwin has called as it’s bound to disintegrate into a rabble with absolutely nothing getting resolved. ย The combination of Wolfgang Smallballs and the Barman with the hollow legs will see to that.
But I have to find a way of getting Edwin back on side, as he is critical to all of the income streams that accrue from the transport subsidiary. ย Doctors on the Happy Train are ten-a-penny, but a Professor? ย A man of ideas. ย A man so unworldly that he thinks Dr T is a real physician and has attended his “clinic” for treatment. ย A fall guy.
And more pressingly, I have to get my ass down to Blockbuster to find a soppy film that Roxette can actually watch. ย With no Arsenal on the plasma she is rummaging in cupboards for old VHS tapes and its only a matter of time before she finds some forgotten forbidden fruit…..
You’ve got to laugh . At one point the camera focused on Capello , moved on to Pearce , then on to Terry , and finally Xavi . What a c*ntfest !
Anybody else think Jamie Carragher looks like Peter Perfect from Wacky Races ? Thought he was a c*nt as well , I was always an Ant Hill Mob man ๐
Dr F @70 , heh , heh , excellent ๐ ๐
Blimey ! Fat Frank .
@ 70, excellent stuff Dr F ๐
England are winning? ๐ฎ
A yellow for Cesc.
Mixed emotions.
heh tabs @ 71 – Peter Perfect was indeed a c*** and not out of place on that list ๐
Wow, an England win! I almost don’t believe my eyes ๐ฎ
As zico will tell you (knowing full well the ramifications of Wembley 1967) if you beat the world champion then you are the world champion.
Millions of his countrymen of my age are in a real quandary tonight ๐
Evening All,
The drinks here are a lot better than today’s matches.
@Ollie 55 Auf Deutsch bitte, das kann ich nicht verstehe.
@ #70 Feelgood diaries rock! I’m starting to look forward to them.
BTW All chimps don’t wear spurs tops although all spurs top wearers are chimps, I thought I’d put that out there for the benefit of the many non-Spurs top wearing Chimps who may have been put in a bad box so-to-speak.
@zicoinexile
Peter Perfect was a drip. Muttley aka Precious Puppy ruled the roost.
(I wish there was a way to do that sly evil snicker of his in print)
Thanks Wind ๐
First – FUCK Spain and their filthy Barca players.
Ok I thought about this long and hard.
Theo should stay on the wing. Not because he can deliver a cross or whatever but because of the opposing defense.
Theo should always be up against a full back and not a centre half because of his lack of size. In order to compensate for that, he can get in behind.
If he starts up front he will immediately be marked by a centre half. It’s human nature. If he starts on the wing, he will be marked by a full back and his inside runs will cause chaos.
They will cause chaos because of the fact that the full back might not want to go infield with him and will leave him to the centre half and the centre half would be hesitant to leave his position and mark the runner. If the full back does go infield the flank would be absolutely empty unless you have a tireless winger tracking back.
You could a perfect example in the Santos goal against Chelsea.
Gervinho went infield and dragged Bosingwa with him, leaving Ivanovic in no man’s land and the right wing completely empty.
Santos took advantage of that and the fact that Sturridge was lazy tracking back and got to a practically 1 v 1 position with Cech.
That following infield by the full back is a natural human instinct and no matter how hard the coaching staff of the opposition work on zonal marking, there is always a conflict of situations where you don’t know who picks up the runner.
We see his runs working perfectly from the wing, just look at his run against W.B.A where the full back was in no man’s land or Nasri’s run against Spurs for the first goal at home last season. Had he run from the centre of the final third he woulda been picked up by either Gallas or Kaboul.
And HOW has no one linked this yet?!
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/football/teams/tottenham-hotspur/8885955/Harry-Redknapp-and-Milan-Mandaric-to-stand-trial-for-tax-evasion-at-Portsmouth-FC-on-or-after-January-23-2012.html
Evening all
Zico, great diary entry fella. Appreciate the ‘kind’ words (sort of, anyway) re: Edwin. Try siphoning an extra 25% onto his R&D budget. That should work wonders ๐
Holic, lovely post. So pleased to see you remembering Geordie. I’m fairly certain he was my dad’s favorite Arsenal player of that era. He often remarked to me during and after games on the amount of ground that the little fella had covered. Thanks also for highlighting the petition to all. I did post a link on here yesterday morning and a few fine fellows went and signed it immediately. Can’t imagine any current UK based Gunner not wanting to spend a minute or two signing it. Public funds allocated into improving The Sh*thole? Cheeky, desperate, LWC f*ckers. FO2Stratford!
Clive, brilliant words at #13. I couldn’t agree more. I’d also like to think that this year’s first XI have more of Geordie’s spirit than last year’s lot.
tabs @ #71 – A c*ntfest of the highest order indeed! Let’s not forget Puyol, Silva and Torres in that gathering of twatspatulas.
Lars @ #10 – Edwin is looking for people with your considerable technology talents. Please apply via the usual channels if you are interested ๐
Hi ‘holic & ‘holics…
Excellent post & brilliant drinks all around.
Big ups to England. Watched the last 40 or so minutes & I think England dug in deep, were determined, & had luck on their side. Parker was my man of the match. Too bad he plays for the spuds now. Kinda liked him better when he was at Westham.
Good news about RVP too, I agree with Zico that he should be cryogenically preserved till next Thursday or Friday.
Lets hope everyone else comes home ok…can’t wait for this stoopid interlull to be over.
Evening Holics little one is in bed and yet another bottle of Wisiowka just turned up all of the sudden!
Interesting game tonight…. ugh mm
Did Spain have a bad game in the UK? They played full house you guys didn’t!
Well played England I say it didn’t look the same without Messi for sure!
I’m sorry if I will regret saying this but Messi is Barca and without him they will fucking struggle!
Same goes for us with Van the Man being gone! However we have far better players than Cesc….tonight I really realised that he chose easier life back in his home town!
Come on you Spanking Looking REDS!
Top link Snir @ #82. Deputy Dawg is going to jail Muskrat ๐
TS some Wisnioka perhaps?
Cheers Arthur, a pleasure to drink with you. Let’s toast The Twitcher and finally, some form of comeuppance for his financial shenanigans.
too right you put it so well! ๐
Na zdrowie HOLICS!
Arthur, TS and any lurkers, May I join you briefly in your Wisnioka party. I found it quite potent when Arthur turned me on to some last night. Not sure about the cream though. ๐
The more the merrier is my philosophy 8 ball but it is Arthur’s booze ๐
Twitchy wrecked the finances of how many football clubs? Tottenham will be lucky if he is sent to prison before he can do any more damage up there. Too bad they think he is god (too bad for them, that is). ๐
behind the 8 ball but gunning for glory
Lets leave cream for the ladies I say ๐
The certainly do like it sweet ๐
Of course I cannot claim number one hundred again, but I would like to set up a top , top fella, if he is about…
Roxette knows it’s an interlull so will zico be able to claim his century??????????
…takes on 2 players…& delivers a perfect Jenkinson-esque cross…
Am I the only one cheering 4 ‘arry?
Thanks DW
Good work cognac ๐
Barman, you star @ 97 so sorry I missed it.
Been fighting the Guinness cordon with one of my oldest friends tonite and just to say, it is true, England ARE now officially world champions ๐
Cognacgunner @ 101…You’re welcome…
Goonerholic,
Thank you for 97 – its all right for you guys, 3 minutes or so of Roxette, but I have a lifetime of it…… ๐
How impressive was Wilko in that clip?
A Happy train passenger if ever I saw one….
8 ball @ #94
I’d rather he did MAXIMUM damage before he leaves, thank you ๐
Un-be-lieve-a-ball ! How is one supposed to keep up with the amount of drinking done in this bar ?!?
Great work from all the regulars again today ๐
‘Holic – another bit of history; say no more than “superb” ๐
Geordie was definitely the WorkaHolic of the ’71 side – along with Pat Rice i guess.
Special mention for zico / Feelgood Diaries in the last drinks – oh,and these ๐ ๐
Holic how to I post embbeseeeeeee!
http://youtu.be/g69labQKuuU
Test!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-4A4UnFi2C8
This is a classic I love this song!
Off to bed god night all!
As is God bless you Holics!
Dr C –
my dear old thing,
Well played in my absence, I must say.
The “doctor’s” handwriting – taken to be Spanish by all and sundry, very clever – has clearly sparked mayhem amongst DLL management.
They have satisfied themselves – they’re always doing that, according to what Wolfie tells me, the filthy swine – with some Fishy translation and gone off on the mother of all tangents.
I presume the “Ex Guvnor of Mexican Gaol” – is our Euro Regulatory Doctor’s friend Snowy spreading havoc and dismay whereever he goes. Seems you were right about him being one of us, all along.
Feelgood has fled to “paradise” to escape the chaos, forgetting that he is never out of our e-reach. A steady stream of electronic communications should do for his sanity any day now.
“Ten a penny”, we Doctors are, my friend. Feelgood’s own words.
Judged on his efforts to cope with two of us, he’d better pray he’s got that wrong, too.
By the way, excuse the “Doctor’s” handwriting, but thought we’d better keep this private too.
Pass on my regards to Snowy. Keep up the fine work. ๐
Far be it from me to introduce a hint of sourness to these frolicsome pages, but per-lease, was I the only one that thought that Stuart Pearce looked a complete tart, sat at Wembley with his football shorts on ?
And what is the point of relieving Joan Terry of the captaincy, only to announce, in advance, that he will be back in the role next wheneveritis . . . ?
Can we not find one intelligent, admirable Englishman to front our national set-up.
But hang on, Harry Redknapp lies in waiting . . . . oh well . . . ๐
Theo did well though, from the little I saw.
Football?
Or more from Feelgood Diaries?
Come on gents I’m in the mood now and must have it.
@ Trev So is harry still lying? Or is he sitting up and telling the untold,untaxed truth?
He’s a top-top fella that Redknapp.
http://www.mirrorfootball.co.uk/transfer-news/Barcelona-target-Arsenal-midfielder-Alex-Song-in-15m-deal-article829668.html
Did I mention that I hate Barca?
Although I have to say that piece looks extremely fabricated. But still, I hate Barca.
I thought it needs repeating since it’s unknown ๐
Snir, fabricated or not, I hate Barca and all they stand for, which is basically cheating cuntery of the highest order.
During the England game today, my little brother asked me if Messi was playing for Spain today bless him :), you can hardly blame him the way the B*rca 1st team is set up.
Made me crack up in silent laughter regardless anyway lol
Snir, I saw another story saying that Claudio Rainieri wants Song at Inter so either Song’s agent decided to have lunch with some reporters or we have some odd coincidence here. ๐
Why on God’s earth is there a red bar queue at the online ticket office on a Sunday morning????
Baffling…
Maintenance?
What are YOU doing in the online ticket office on a sunday morning?
Baffling ๐
Holic @ 121
Coldplay, perhaps ?
Yuk.
I only want to check my account, Ollie. Not buying, obviously.
According to Martin Keown, it was Cesc Fabregas who initated Pizzagate at Old Trafford back in ’04.
Is this news to you guys or am I just extremely late? :s
You are extremely late, Wind ๐
Probably extremely late.
Dr T @ 113
Most excellent ๐
In at last.
I have moved 10k places up the ST waiting list this season.
Interesting.
Oooh. I’ll go and check that.
I’d obviously love to know even more how close I am to getting Silver.
I’m guessing the progression is slower there, though hopefully in a year or two….
The answer is obviously that I don’t know how much I’ve moved up, as I don’t remember in what position I was.
‘Holic, Ollie @ 126 & 127
Damn, I had no idea! I always knew he had a mischevious streak but I’m shocked and in awe of Cesc ๐
Now, can anyone tell me what happened between Le Grove and this website that inspired tabs to write the afore mentioned masterpiece Behind the Arse?
Good morning โholic and โholics.
I have been called in by someone called “The Doctorsโ Friend” who is apparently concerned at the potential collateral damage to the corporate reputation of the HT MkII at the possible appointment of some sort of Prison Governor type, at a time when some important negotiations with European Regulators are taking place over some medicine or other.
Well I think thatโs the gist of it anyway, difficult to say as Snowy seems to be rocking backwards and forwards mumbling about regulators and insufficient โscientific evidenceโ โ although it did sound oddly like โphotographic evidenceโ *makes mental note to suggest Snowy cuts back on the caffeine*.
I must say I donโt share this level of heightened concern, as the cult hero potential of this Governor individual is screamingly apparent. However, I can envisage a situation in which his lively and colourful โnarrativeโ, is misunderstood through mistranslation issues.
Although the worldwide readers of this fine blog are cultured and urbane, with many extremely cunning linguists among them, your average blog-reader or journalist may not have this level of sophistication.
So in order protect against any misunderstanding arising from potential โtranslation issuesโ, I think a few small amendments to the Governor’s โpersonal narrativeโ may be in order. As an example of the small changes that may work profitably for you:
– Biggest โtache in Mexico = quirky international style guru
– Orgy on public money = supporting government-led initiatives to bring the wholesome health benefits of vigorous exercise to the wider community
– Can sweat profusely on demand = enthusiastic personal participant in initiatives to bring the health benefits of exercise to the wider community
– Group Sex = team sports, various (letโs just keep it unspecified for simplicityโs sake shall we?)
Etc etcโฆ
I think you can see where Iโm coming from here guys? Excellent. I shall send an enthusiastic team of young PR lovelies to have your new Governator so thoroughly โmedia trainedโ and โon-messageโ that his perma-grin will pretty much render him incapable of speech most of the time anyway.
Meanwhile we can start subtly briefing the media on โSilent Estebanโ a quiet, mild-mannered, stylishly moustachioed investor from overseas. This should create enough of a diversion whilst the important commercial business of securing a positive regulatory opinion for your new pharmaceutical product moves on apace.
Wishing you all the best in your commercial endeavours.
Doctor Spin
Huge gathering of the outlaws for a country pub roast. Laters.
Sounds dangerous, ‘holic. Good luck ๐
Afternoon All ,
TS @83 , Totally with you on Puyol . Can’t say Silva and Torres wind me up as much as they do you !! ๐
PS -I think your Dad was right about Geordie Armstrong .
@99 Nice assist Dreamwright , and great build-up play from Holic . Dr Z , where were you ? Loitering at the Bar , no doubt ๐
Dr T @113 , or should I say Blowers ? I think you need to look a bit further down the food chain in the Quackery for the true identity of “El Guv’nor” ๐ Great work ๐ ๐ and Bang on with regard to both Pearce and Terry . With Pearce’s shorts and his long socks , I thought he was auditioning for a spot in The New Seekers .
Wind @132 – Thanks for the kind words . The answer to your question is nothing , other than a warped mind , and the recognition that they really are a pair of f*ckwits ๐
Dr Spin(Snowy ?) @133 – Top top work fella ๐ ๐
For what is about to follow , may the Lord make me truly penitent .
The following contains disgusting language , libellous content , and Semi pornographic material .
Viewer Discretion advised …. ….
Bring it On! ๐ ๐
BEHIND THE ARSE . A โNOT SO SPECIALโ INTERLULL SPECIAL .
*7.30 am . IG and IPA are in the office early discussing all matters arising out of Arsenalโs tremendous recovery from the depths of despair to the cusp of greatness*
IG : So IPA , 8 wins out of the last 10 , a clean sheet against West Brom , new players bedding in , Chelsea put to the sword , the fans must be loving it , eh ?
IPA : Well , Sir , I think โcautiously optimisticโ might be the more apt phrase .
IG : What ? You mean they donโt yet love me unconditionally IPA ?
IPA : No Sir .
IG : What ? They donโt yet recognize that beneath this admittedly shiny pate , there lies a mind of uncontained brilliance . That beneath my hard edged corporate exterior there lies a beating Gunner heart full of passion and committed support ?
IPA : No Sir .
IG : So Iโm not Romeo to their Juliet , Richard Burton to their Liz Taylor , Robbie Savage to their Robbie Savage ?
IPA : No Sir .
IG : Fucking Hell IPA , didnโt they see me punch the air with delight against Udinese , didnโt they see me stand up and scream โ Have some of that you fucking German cunts โ in Dortmund . They must have seen it , the TV cameras were on me all the time .
IPA : Thatโs because you were sitting next to Arsene , Sir .
IG : Oh . Bollocks .
IPA : Indeed Sir .
IG : Still , it was fucking brilliant IPA . Felt like I was on the bench . Reckon I should have a go at this managerial malarkey . Moneyโs good . Bloody easy it was . Chew a bit of gum , swear a bit , talk to the media . Fucking simple , AND I can spot a player .
IPA : Really Sir ? Who have you spotted ?
IG : Goetze . Bloody fine player .
IPA : He plays for Dortmund Sir , we didnโt get him Sir . Are you sure Arsene didnโt tell you how good he was , when you sat together in Dortmund ?
IG : Oh I canโt remember that far back IPA . Suppose he might have done . Anyway , thatโs not the point . I was in charge of negotiations to get him .
IPA : Unsuccessfully , as I remember Sir .
IG : Well yes , but we were close , bloody unlucky .
IPA : What did you offer Sir ?
IG : Prepared to move into the Big League we were . 20 kilos of finest German sausage , a Benny Hill video cos they like their comedy over there , and enough pairs of Lederhosen to kit out the whole club . We were even prepared to chuck in a rare EP collection of Hermann Goering speeches surreptitiously obtained from John Terryโs bedroom .
IPA : Ah , Nazi Terry eh Sir ? How did you get hold of those ?
IG : New signing Yossi Benayoun of course IPA . You donโt think we signed him for his football , do you ? We signed him for the inside info he provides on the Mugsmashers and The Chavs . He was round at The Terry household shagging Terryโs wife , apparently that sort of thing goes on a lot round there , stumbled on these EPs , and had the foresight to think they might come in handy at a later date . *touches his nose* Remember our fourth goal at The Bridge ?
IPA : Ah ! A brilliant plan Sir .
IG : Thank you IPA .
IPA : Astonishing the bid for Goetze failed Sir , in the circumstances I mean .
IG : Yes , but it doesnโt matter IPA , look at all our new signings , all a lot cheaper , and all playing brilliantly . Hardly any wages involved at all . Jenkinson plays for Toy Soldiers , Flipper for Cod , Arteta for reinforced Hairspray , and Santos for Rothmans .
IPA : And Mertesacker Sir ?
IG : Bit more complicated IPA , had to get Lady Nina on the job , so to speak .
IPA : Ah , I see Sir . And where is Lady Nina now Sir ?
IG : Reconstructive surgery IPA .
IPA : Reconstructive surgery Sir ?
IG : The bloke is six foot seven IPA . Heโd look a bit silly with a little one wouldnโt he .
IPA : Ah , understood Sir .
IG : โBout fucking time IPA . You always were a bit slow on the uptake .
IPA : Yes Sir .
*Peter Hill Wood wanders in , butt-naked and sporting a semi*
PHW : *yawning and stretching* Whatโs up gayboys ?
IG : Peter !! What on earth do you think youโre doing ?!
PHW : Settle down Gazides , keep your fucking hair on , you bald cunt . Iโm having to sleep in the office at the moment . Just a temporary thing . My Llamaโs only gone and chucked me out . I blame that witch Bracewell-Smith . Took her home for a threesome to give her a bit of comfort after that incident with the fat Russian Rapist , and she only went and got all bossy with the Llama . Llama took offence , and told me to sling my hook . Thatโs where a good turn gets you . Out on the fucking streets ! You wonโt believe how long it took me to train that Llama to cook a biriyani .
IPA : Iโm Sorry Sir .
IG : But Peter , this is a working office , we canโt have you wandering around in โฆ er โฆ , a less than relaxed state .
PHW : Oh for fucks sake ! Relax Gazides , itโs only a cock and balls . Anyone would think you hadnโt seen one before . I mean , Jesus , youโve got one yourself . Actually , you probably havenโt, have you . Iโve been saying for years that I havenโt come across anyone with less bollocks than you , even fucking Bracewell-Smith . Everythingโs a crisis with you isnโt it .
IG : *peevishly* I think youโre the one who needs to relax Peter . Call me old-fashioned but I just canโt concentrate with your cock in my eye-line .
PHW : *proudly* Hey , one in the eye for all those moany cunt shareholders who said I was past it eh . Morning Glory , you just canโt beat it .
IG : Itโs rather more one in MY eye at the moment Peter and I wish you really would take yourself off somewhere and BEAT it .
PHW : Whooo , get you . Now down to business . Whatโs on the agenda today ?
IPA : Just going through fan opinion Sir , and then weโve got Colin Lewin coming in . Weโre still concerned with the injuries weโre picking up , and we want some explanations .
PHW : Excellent *sits himself down* . That should see us through โtil Lunch . So , the fans IPA , what are they saying ?
IPA : Well I was just explaining Sir . โ Cautiously optimistic โ would appear to cover it .
PHW : No moaners at all IPA ?
IPA : Not seen or heard from them since the game at Tottenham Sir .
PHW : Well that was a bad day Iโll grant you . We should never lose to those Pikeys . Still , at least Arsene refused to shake hands with that baby-faced brain-free cunt Clive Allen . Wish Iโd libelled him in the last series , the cheating low-life piece of excrement .
IPA : Quite Sir .
PHW : Well I guess the moany fans will come crawling out the woodwork , soon enough . What about those cunts at Le Grove ?
IPA : I no longer give them the benefit of my click Sir . Everyone knows theyโre a pair of parasitic jokers , so for the time being , weโre leaving them be .
PHW : Should have killed the Cunts when we had the chance .
*There is a knock at the door*
IG : Enter .
*Colin Lewin walks in , wearing school uniform replete with cap and short trousers , and carrying a big bag of sweets*
CL : You wanted to see me Sir .
IG : Yes Lewin . Come in and shut the door . Now then , how long have we had a Lewin in charge of physio matters Lewin ?
CL : Since the days of Fred Street Sir . 1986 Sir . I got the job in 2008 .
IG : And why did you get the post Lewin ?
CL : Family connections Sir .
IG : Exactly . So what I-
PHW : Nothing wrong with that Gazides .
IG : As I was saying . So what I want to know is why the fuck have our injuries got considerably worse since 2008 ?
CL : I โฆ err โฆ.
IG : Come on , come on . Robin Van Persie , he always misses half a season . How did he get injured last season eh ?
CL : Got crunched playing for Holland Sir .
IG : Exactly . YOUR FAULT Lewin . And Thomas Vermaelen , out for a year with a mystery ailment . No sooner is he back and he does the other leg . YOUR FAULT Lewin . Wilshire out til February
CL : Did his ankle in pre-season Sir .
IG : Exactly Lewin YOUR FAULT . And Sagna , a broken leg ?
CL : Yes Sir . Got whacked into the hoardings by that thicko spud Assou-Ekottu Sir .
IG : AND โฆ. โฆ. ?
CL : My fault Sir ?
IG : Exactly Lewin . YOUR FAULT . Do you actually want to be a physiotherapist Lewin ?
CL : No Sir , I just want to own a sweet shop when I grow up .
IG : What ?! And what , pray tell , have you done with the new development at Shenley ?
CL : *sheepishly* Turned it into-
IG : A GIANT FUCKING SWEET SHOP !!
CL : Yes Sir . Sorry Sir .
IG : Oh Lewin , what in the name of all thatโs holy am I going to do with you ?
CL : Donโt know Sir . Lines Sir ?
IG : Nope .
CL : Detention Sir ?
IG : Oh No .
CL : Not a paddling Sir ?
IG : Yes a paddling Sir ! Report back to my office at 9 am sharp tomorrow . Now get out of my sight .
CL : Yes Sir .
IG : Oh and Lewin , bring me a Curley-Wurley and some Spangles when you come back tomorrow .
CL : Yes Sir .
PHW : Lewin , one thing before you go . Iโve got something I need you to take a look at .
CL : Yes Sir ?
*PHW places his c*ck on the desk , and CL has a look at it*
CL : I canโt see anything wrong with it Sir .
PHW : *beaming* I know . Lovely isnโt it . Now be off with you .
CL : Yes Sir .
*CL exits the room*
PHW : He might still make the grade . Nothing wrong with that last diagnosis eh . Now , what the fuck are we going to do to take us through to lunch ?
*suddenly , IG , PHW and IPA all see Stan Kronke (STAN) , Richard Law (RL) , together with 4 lovely American Cheerleaders walk past , heading towards the Boardroom . They are all singing the Stars and Stripes .*
IG : What the bloody hell is going on ?
PHW : Fuck knows .
*The American Delegation are closely followed by Usmanov , the Fat Arsenal Gangster (FAG), who is dressed in Uzbeki National costume , a mystery masked man (MMM) , and 6 Bikini clad Lovelies , carrying the Uzbekistan flag and singing The Uzbeki National Anthem*
IG : Jesus fucking Christ . Itโs finally arrived , the day of the fucking hostile takeover . Quick Peter , put some bloody clothes on , we need to be in there .
PHW : Bollocks , Iโm going in naked , itโll intimidate the fuckers .
IG : Oh alright then , but come on , weโve got to get in there .
PHW : Donโt panic Gazides , hold your fucking horses , we need a song .
IG : What ?!
PHW : The Yanks and The Commies both went in singing a song . Iโm not going in without a song . Something British .
IG : Oh for fucks sake . What song ?
IPA : What about โ Save all your kisses for me โ ? Brotherhood of Man , won Eurovision with it . A proud British moment .
PHW : Perfect . IPA , you play the Paper and Comb , Gazides you play the spoons , and Iโll sing . And donโt forget to do the synchronized dancing .
IPA : Yes Sir .
IG : Sweet Jesus , what did I do to deserve this ?
*with IG on spoons , IPA on paper and comb , and a naked PHW belting out โSave all your Kisses for Me โ , the Trio synchronise dance their way into the Boardroom . Both the American and Uzbeki delegations are open-mouthed with astonishment . Richard Law is the first to recover his composure .*
RL : Peter , put some clothes on .
PHW : Fuck off !
RL : Itโs the Law .
PHW : And Fuck off I said ! Letโs get started . Iโm in the mood to crack some heads , and I warn you now , I wonโt be taking prisoners ! Right , you in the silly clothes , why donโt you start .
FAG : *to Stan* ะั – ะพะฑะตะดะฝะตะฒัะตะต ะฒะปะฐะณะฐะปะธัะต !!
PHW : What the fuck was that ?
MMM : He says that Kronke is an impoverished cunt .
STAN :
FAG : ะบัะพ ัะฒะตัะตะฝ ะฒ ะตะณะพ ะฝะฐะปะธัะฝัั ะถะตะฝั ัะปัั ะธ ะดะปั ะตะณะพ ะฑะพะณะฐัััะฒะฐ
MMM : He says that Kronke is reliant on his whore wifeโs money .
IG : Thatโs a bit strong .
STAN :
FAG : ะฟะพััะฐัะธัะต ะฒะฐัะธ ะณัะตะฑะฐะฝัะต ะดะตะฝัะณะธ
MMM : He wants you to spend some fucking money , Kronke .
STAN :
IG : Iโm not having this . Tell him that the former UK Ambassador to Uzbekistan , Craig Murray , says that heโs a convicted Blackmailer , a Gangster , a Racketeer and an alleged Rapist .
MMM : Iโm not telling him that !
PHW : *explodes* Why the fuck not ? Who THE FUCK are you anyway ? Take your fucking mask off now you coward .
*MMM takes his mask off , revealing none other than The Highbury Spy .*
PHW : OH for fucks sake , not you again !
SPY : I am The Highbury Spy . I write in The Gooner . My opinion is more important than anybody elses , I will do anything to retain my sense of self-importance . I am a poster boy for Le Grove and a friend to the Uzbeki . I will bring the weight of all Arsenal fans with me and down on you . They will crush you .
IG : God !
IPA : Yikes !
STAN :
PHW : I know how to handle this boys . *starts a Limerick* I once knew a Highbury Spy , Whose main aim in life was to lie โฆ
SPY : No , no , no !!
PHW : โฆ he said he could write , but I found it was shite ,
SPY : Mercy , mercy !!!
PHW : โฆ so I told him to fuck off and die .
*The Highbury Spy rushes from the room , holding his head and screaming*
IG : Bloody hell , that was a bit strong Peter .
PHW : Calm down Gazides , I didnโt really mean it . But youโve got to know your enemy . The fella just canโt stand poetry . Total intolerance to it . Thatโs his Achilles Heel .
IG : Whoโd have thought it , Bloody good work Peter .
PHW : Read it on Goonerholic , fount of all knowledge that site .
FAG : ะฏ ั ะพัั ะบัะฟะธัั ะบะปัะฑ, ะธ ะฝะธััะพ ะฝะต ะพััะฐะฝะพะฒะธั ะผะตะฝั
IG : We donโt understand you , we donโt understand you , ner , ner , ner ner nerrr .
FAG : *gets up and walks towards the door* ะั ะฑัะดะตัะต ะฟะพะปััะฐัั ะธะทะฒะตััะธะต ะพั ะผะพะธั ะฐะดะฒะพะบะฐัะพะฒ *exits*
IG : Well done Peter , you saw them off good and proper . Wonder what he said at the end there ?
PHW : He said that nothing would stop him buying the Club , and that weโd be hearing from his lawyers , the cunt .
IPA : Schillings .
PHW : Or Two Bob , as I like to call them .
IG : Well youโre full of surprises today , Peter , didnโt know you spoke Russian ?
PHW : Did my bit in the Cold War Gazides . I know how to deal with Spies .
STAN : *clears his throat*
IG : My God , Lord Stanley is going to speak . This is a momentous occasion , his first words on Arsenal , make sure you write them down IPA .
IPA : Yes Sir .
STAN : Howdy Gennelmen . There appears to be 5 of us , 4 American cheerleaders , and 6 Russian beauties . Looks like we got arselves a pardy !!!!
PHW : Excellent strategy Kronke . Donโt even have to bother putting any clothes on .
STAN : Err , can some fine Gennelman fetch me ma pipe ?
IPA : Certainly Sir ! Welcome to Arsenal Sir !
CUE THE MUSIC AND END CREDITS .
In the hands of a master.
Bravo, tabs. Your long disappearances over the last few weeks is now fully explained. Still laughing.
tabs for President!
Oh, you better call your Brief, ‘Holic. ๐
Truly depraved, but it’s good to know the club is making prime use of the interlull. Bravo, Tabs. ๐
You had me in stitches there. Great work, tabs ๐
Another Doctor in the house, I see @ 133.
Welcome Dr Spin – I know someone who’s dying to meet you. Make your way to Interview Room 3. ๐
The Scene
Blockbuster video store (somewhere)
Dr Feelgood : ย “Hi there, I’m looking for something for the Mrs, she’s in a foul mood and I’m trying to get back in her good books. ย What would you recommend?”
Spotty youth video vendor: ย “Well, they all like that romantic bollocks, innit? ย How about this?”. He hands Feelgood the Directors Cut of “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind”
Feelgood : ย “Are you trying to get wide, Pal?”
Spotty youth ย (nervously, as he detects the menace of violence in Feelgood’s voice) ย “Well how about this? ย Lots of women ask for this?”. He hands Feelgood a worn copy of “Kramer v Kramer”
Feelgood: ย “Och, sonny, you just dinnae get it – this is for Roxette – I need something with gratuitous violence, tribal warfare, a hint of sexual tension and a sub-plot of unrequited love – that kind of thing”
Spotty Youth “Aah, how about “The Rise of the Planet of the Apes”?
Feelgood: ย “Not ANOTHER Spurs DVD – who did they narrowly beat this time?”
As he leaves the store, Feelgood mutters under his breath….”I suppose it will keep the chimp quiet….”
tabs @ 136 ๐ and @ 139 ๐ – absolute genius.
zico @ 143 – Not sure medical things are really Dr S’s thing but I’ll pass that on ๐
Meanwhile, some news for all the company medical staff. I heard on a confidential basis yesterday that the application for licensing “Aunty Beecham’s Oral Solution” has hit a bit of a snag. So I’m off now to meet one of the co-rapporteurs for an off the record briefing.
Apparently he’s very fond of the ballet so I’ve arranged to meet him in a small club a couple of clicks from King’s Cross where the ladies dance in an extremely enthusiastic and liberated fashion. They also serve up a mighty effective Rohypnol-tini, which may come in rather handy at some future point. I shall report back later.
Enjoy your Sunday all
๐
Yeah, that’s scary, Dr Z
Dr. Z @144 ๐ ๐
Doctor Spin – great stuff. “Silent Esteban” ๐ ๐
Tabs – I will assume the usual brilliance for now – back to read later ๐
Snowy, you can tell Dr Spin that there are vacancies other than Senior Physician, that Feelgood has been interviewing for.
Given recent events, Mr Spin’s talents are greatly in need by the DL Executive. They will come in particularly handy when Roxette asks why I didn’t hit the hay till the small hours this morning.
Yes, a postion can definitely be found for Dr Spin, missionary or otherwise. ๐
Tabs, I savour your offerings of literature with my eyes like the sweetest and saltiest gammon from Saturday’s Dinner in my mouth, absolutely divine ๐
Evening all
I see that the cup in the drinks runneth over today. Four top, top performances today and on a Sunday in the middle of the interlull. Who’d have thunk it, eh? Some infusion of jingo-istic pride cause by the defeat of The Armada yesterday perhaps?
So…. Dr.Spin, Dr.F, Dr.T and the inimitabke tabs all of you please step forwards and..er… ‘take a bow son’ while I take few minutes to re-stitch my sides. Sheer brilliance all of you. Possibly the best ever episode of BTA too.
PS: tabs at #136, appreicate the words re: The StoreyDad.
*caused* and *inimitable*
With apologies to Ollie ๐
Fucking brilliant stuff from the lot of you, catching up on the latest batch had me laughing constantly. Certainly helps during the dull hours of the interlull!
The “problem” with BTA is that each episode I’m certain is better than the previous one ๐
Excellent that was!
zico @ 149 โ thank you for your kind words. Intriguing new positions are always of interest, so do keep me posted on any vacancy.
As regards your other query, I like to consider myself a bit of an expert on the fairer sex. In general they respond most positively to three things:
1) Presents (preferably expensive)
2) Long stemmed white roses
3) Enormous quantities of alchohol
Clearly, all 3 are potentially on the pricey side. However, you can less expensively mitigate any โfalloutโ for misdemeanours such as staying up late by remembering simply to print off a few things from the internet (glamorous holidays, expensive jewellery, โmini-breaksโ at luxury spas etc etc) before you retire.
It is important for you ensure that the time/date stamp on these print outs is about the time you went to bed. Then hide the bits of paper badly around the house, but so badly that they will inevitably be found. Then, when questioned as to what you were up to, simply smile enigmatically and say โNothing my darling, just checking out something I think you might likeโฆโ and if this does not have the desired effect, follow it with a โnow you donโt want me to spoil the surprise do you my precious?โ
Few women have ever let something like a bit of a bad temper get in the way of a potential present. And since everybody loves a surprise, you will not be questioned again for fear of spoiling it. You can potentially keep this going for months really.
Keeping a pair of secateurs handy so you can swipe the occasional rose from a neighbourโs garden works too, and can be extremely useful when pacification is needed on returning home late from the boozer. โTook me HOURS to find this my love but I wanted one that was absolutely perfect, just like youโฆโ
Do keep us all posted on your progress old chap ๐
Sweet Mary and Joseph.
At this point I have to point out that whatever has been written by TaBS above in no way reflects the view of the publisher, and that any similarity between the entirely fictional cast, most of whom I personally hold in the highest regard, and any real persons is entirely fucking coincidental.
Regards,
The publisher,
Eastern main cave,
South Georgia.
Oh, and good man snowy.
Tabs – BTA.
Thanks a lot mate, I think I just re-opened the hernia ๐ ๐ ๐
Absolutely brilliant!!!
‘Holic –
you’re back !
And words of indignation come particularly badly from one who has been out for the day “roasting” his in-laws in the pub.
According to your own contribution @134 ๐ ๐
Heh Trev.
Hope the recovery is going well.
Dr O ?? – should I rather obviously plump for Ollie ?
Cheers anyway, and it was until I read BTA !!
Excellent Trev @ #159 ๐
PS: I may have found a new ‘real’ victim, I mean patient, for you….
Dr Spin
You’re hired. Full Executive Carriage privileges. Edwin will brief you.
Oh and Dr Feelgood doesn’t take no for an answer.
Oops, yes, of course, Trev!
Dr F – why thank you. I shall await a full and thorough briefing in due course.
Haha Trev. ๐
The management is of Italian descent, so if I were to displease her, or da family, in any way I know I would wake up next to an Arsenal player’s head one morning.
If she asks my favourite player is Sebastien Squillaci ๐
Well howdy, y’all !
Just so long as Peter got me talkin’, I thought I might as well tell you why he was sitting in Dortmund, next to Gazidis, as was mentioned in that terrific ‘Behind The Arse’, holding his crutch!
Well, in Peter’s hotel room the night before the game, he was introdoocin me to the feminine chorms of Lady Nina Bracewell (never was a name more apt) – Smith.
He was kinda boastin about his sexual prowess and asked me to suggest somethin excitin for him and Nina to try out, right there and then.
Well, I said, have you two ever tried the Rodeo position ?
No, no, said Peter, do tell more – how does it go, what should I do ?
Well, I said, Tell Nina to get down on all fours. Now you clamb on and start to do it dowggy style.
Once things get underway some, and she’s really enjoyn it, lean forward and whisper in her ear –
“Your sister likes this position too”, and then try like hell to stay on for 6 seconds.
And that folks, is the truth of why Peter needed that crutch when he was sitting watching the game in Dortmund, Germany.
Bye for now folks. Hey, I maght git used to this talkin thing yet !
Hey ‘Holic – donna worry, I donna tella nobodi ! ๐
Cheers TS – better not let them read this then ! ๐
Re: SSK @167
Haw Haw Haw Haw :bowling:
zico @144, ๐
Bowling smiley apparently doesn’t work with wordpress, but it would’ve been a good one to express my enjoyment of SSK’s post, especially the spot-on accent. Maybe this one will work: ๐
tabs, or anyone, is IPA from Behind The Arse supposed to be Ivan’s Personal Assistant? Seems that way anyway, very good sir and all ‘chortles’
Evening all, apologies for the lateness in offering my report back on the co-rapporteur โoff the recordโ briefing, however I seem to have unexpectedly acquired a โphone stalker who has started texting me at all hours offering โdomestic servicesโ for an appropriate โfeeโ.
Being a curious sort, naturally I have endeavoured to find out more, and after much โphone text, was surprised to find the day has quite got away from me and it is clearly past drink oโclock.
Those sorts of telephone numbers donโt cost more to text to than the usual ones do they?
Ohโฆ ๐
Ah well, in terms of the report back – the medical staff will be encouraged to know that on the plus side, the Rohypnol-tinis at the โdance studioโ worked a treat, and by the time the co-rapporteur began gyrating in his underpants to the Eminen/Snoop Dogg classic โShake that assโ I was entirely convinced of his support for our marketing authorisation application. As was my hidden video camera.
On the down side, it does appear that some elements of our application are unlikely to be successful however much he supports us. Firstly the clinical trial summary paperwork should not be completed in eyebrow pencil. Secondly, a large lipstick โkissโ on the forms apparently does not constitute a โSignatureโ in any legal sense. Sorry Wolfgang, I was unable to convince him otherwise, however fine your penmanship is. We will have to think again and perhaps adopt a less creative approach next time.
Drs T C and F โ hoping you can help convince the wider DLL executive management team that some support in the form of urgent recruitment of a medical fall guy โ sorry, โMedical Signatoryโ โ be actioned as a priority. Thereโs a feckinโ massive amount of paperwork to re-process it seemsโฆ
Wha, thank you, 8bawll !
I maght not be around too much longer as it goes.
I only bought this club ‘cos I was told they played in a Lie-brery. Thought it would be somewhere nice and quiet to go when I was in the Yoo-Kay.
Turned out they’d moved to somewhere called the Em-eye-rates where they could fit 60,000 screamin Gooners in. Ho-lee Shit!
Well, we sold all the best players – thought that would see most of them off, but nope. A full 60,000 there, every single week – all shoutin’ n’ hollerin – sweet baby Jee-sus !
So we told all the players not to score any more goals for a while – see if that would shut the buggers up.
Hell no! They juss all started screamin SHHOOOTTTTT !!! all the time – the din was worse than ever.
That’s why I got the Oozbecki involved – if that don’t scare ’em into silence, nuthin will.
See yu layder !
This is THE BEST FOOTBALL BLOG EVER !!!!!
Smear, I could of told you that a good few months ago ๐
This blog and ibelieveinarsenal are the two best Arsenal blogs, with ‘Holic and Sian the two best writers in my opinion.
Genuine love for the Arsenal. ‘nods in appreciation’
Thanks Wind, and yes, Sian is excellent. I read her.
There are some seriously talented people out there doing all manner of blogs from different angles. Maybe an article in that one day.
Wowsers! Today’s drinks are doozies. Thank goodness I had a cup of tea and a cozy seat to start with.
@ Tabs Is limerick really considered poetry?
@ Doctor Spin #133 Thanks for the clarifications now I’m completley lost.
Quien erren “Estaban el Callado?”
That’s a great potential blog/article waiting to be written ‘Holic.
You got the skills and the know-how, I’ve got the anticipation ๐
LCG @ 179 – Siento. @ 133 es para el pรบblico Inglรฉs. En espaรฑol se llama “Esteban Silencio”
Or summink like that anyway… Dr C – help???
Sorry not around earlier – got embroiled in a sash .
Cheers for the comments chaps ๐ Holic , Im really sorry , I’ll buy you a drink at Everton ๐
Dr Z @144 ๐
Dr Spin and SSK ๐
Wind @173 – you got it !
Lcg @179 – Of course it’s poetry !!!!!!!!!!
Sash = Sesh
In a mellow mood on this Sunday night. Just been introduced to this geezer. There are some seriously talented people out there…
Great song Holic , beautifully sung .
The man is very aptly named .
Wind @177 –
I’m afraid ‘Smear Duly’ was just a little play on words of our very own, our much loved Snir Geuli, raving about it being a ‘football blog’, ‘cos I can’t remember reading one word about football all day long.
That, I’m afraid, is the result of yet another bl**ding Interlull, and a few twisted minds.
Btw, this IS the best football blog ever, ๐
Tabs –
just read it through again – the weaving of Arsenal fact and Arse fiction is quite brilliant . . ๐
Very nice ‘Holic, enjoyed that.
Twisted minds Trev? We disagree on that, we being Edwin and I ๐
LCG –
what is a doozie ? Sorry for the ignorance . . .
Is a limerick really poetry ? It is, sir, and of the finest sort.
If you’ll allow me . .
On the breast of a barmaid from Hayle,
Was tattooed the price of pale ale,
And on her behind
For those who were blind
Was the same information in braille.
Not poetry . .? Pah . .
Nice song ‘Holic.
TS ๐
tabs, how far back did you have to go in the drinks to find the one where the Spy was moaning about poetry? I seem to recall that was about February?
Far too much time on your hands, young man ๐
Tabs, TS, zico . . .
Meet the gang ‘cos the boys are here
Here to entertain you. . .
Fine company indeed ๐
@ Trev A doozie is a 1950’s version of a Lulu.
Yep that’s poetry allright I’d know it with my eye’s shut.
@Dr.Spin#181 Claro que si. Silencio, disculpeme.
Trev – Cheers mate !
Dr Z – The Spy’s rant against the poetry was in the close season . Was fresh in the mind , because apparently he slagged the site off in A Goonercast recently , and there was a blog about it a few weeks back . Maybe when you were sunning yourself in your Speedoes ? ๐
It aint alf ot Mum !
Dr Spin @181 –
“Dr C help ” – I’m afraid Dr C is currently otherwise engaged in two late night interviews.
He was approached earlier today by two stunning, but otherwise completely unqualified Barcelona beauties, Iona Bergerbar and Sigovia Carpett, anxious to secure positions in The Quackery.
Pain and relief – note, not, pain relief – are apparantly their speciality, and well, you know Dr C, never one to refuse a personal interview.
Trev @ 186
We All know its the result of twisted minds, there’s no denying it mate ๐
This IS the greatest football blog ever, but I’m only here for the banter ๐
HE slagged THIS site?
Oh dear. Oh very dear.
And the less said about me and Speedoes, the better, eh? ๐
Trev,
There once was a lady from Ealing…. ๐
Gee thanks LCG – what the *&!* is a 1950’s Lulu – no, don’t bother . .
There was a young vicar from Bings
Who used to sing hymns and things ,
But his secret desire ,
Was a boy in the Choir ,
With a bum like jelly on springs .
Wordsworth ? Pfff .
And the double century is ours!
TS – not sure but . . .
There was a young man from Darjealing
Who got on a bus down in Ealing,
It said on the door
“Don’t spit on the floor”
So he stood up and spat on the ceiling.
? . . . ๐
Gee whizz , I thought that was gonna be a pre-assist .
Instead I find everyone has already scored celebrated and kicked off again ๐
Well in TS !
There was a young man from Nantucket,
next line anyone ? . .
Foiled by my own Wi-Fi, the shame! :'(
Congrats TS, bit of a scramble in the box with limericks an’ all but you were there with the composed finish, nice one ๐
Cheeky assist from Zico as well you sly one you ๐
There was a young lady from Pinner ,
Who dream’t that her boyfriend was in ‘er ,
In her endeavour to cum ,
She opened her bum ,
And out rolled yesterday’s dinner .
Too far ? ๐
Some might say a little risque, present company most likely excluded. ๐
Tabs – why am I not surprised that all of your limericks involve bums? ๐
Who kept all his cash in a bucket ๐
Re: Trev @190: High quality, mate. ๐
Dt T @ 197 – hope he hires them both. They sound lovely. More than capable of dealing with the ermm, ‘paperwork’ they’re gonna have to deal with…
And LGC @ 194 – I’m not sure I’m any the wiser – can you explain a bit more please?
:-s
A ‘lady’ for hire ๐
Whose line is it anyway ?
Not mine Trev , don’t know this version ๐
Night all .
Said ” hold on there squire”
Just a punt in the dark ๐
Listening to The Who. One of the only things that gets me through Sunday nights. When do we play next, again?
Ah, yes. Norwich, early match on Saturday. Not as long to wait as I expected. Come on the Arsenal. ๐
@ Dr.Spin #213
Just agreeing with the good Doctor.
@Trev#206… bought a chicken but never could pluck it.
How many ‘holics realise what a prize drink #222 can be??
me
Thanx 8ball.
Hey leftcoast, 222 is pretty cool. If you’re into numerology. ๐
A classic, but it bears repeating. Many times, as a matter of fact.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BzZHmHqEE7k&feature=related
My birthday is on the 22nd. But I don’t know what numerical significance 222 has other than a TV show I used to watch with Denise Nicholas and Karen Valentine. Boy, they were dreamy.
I almost forgot Mick was ever a kid.
Now that was a blast from the past.
Denise Nicholas was hot. ๐
http://www.redstonecollectiblesonline.com/media/28/a207929131b4dea0a923b_m.JPG
8ball where do you come up with this stuff.
(boy she is a cutie).
leftcoast, I just did a Google Images search and that picture was on the first page of results. But I will take full credit for being a search wizard. ๐
http://vimeo.com/30543529
Enjoy Holics
You guys are completely nuckin’ futz! Keep is coming. ๐
*Hat tip to TaBS*
Well done, sir. Well done
BMBD!
A man goes to two sayonara parties and does live sketching at a cafรฉ art show in Osaka on a Sunday night and this is how you repay me? With more than 700 drinks to chug? Itโs almost enough to make my Guinness filled belly boil ๐
Great post holic and great win by England over the weekend but I must mention that the current unofficial world champions are not England but Japan, believe it or not! They took the title by beating Argentina (who were the first to beat Spain after the World Cup) and have been undefeated since then. ๆฅๆฌใฏไป้ ๅผตใฃใฆใใพใใใ
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unofficial_Football_World_Championships
I must also mention the sensational addition to the BTA by tabs. Man, I still havenโt scanned the first BTA I illustrated and put in the words yet, ashamed itโs still not done. The redone version looks really good though. Hoping to get it up soon!
Snir, I agree, I fully believe RVP is living the dream and will not move. At least not because of money. I have pictures of him wearing Arsenal shirts when he was 12 or so and I did see that interview where he says he wants to play for Arsenal while at Feyenoord.
8ball, great video find of Armstrong man. Thanks a lot man.
The Feelgood diaries are amazing!!! Makes me work on my silent laugh because I usually read them at my work desk
To all of the drinks I havenโt mentioned by name, they were all of a high standard (as usual) and I really enjoy seeing the inner workings of the minds of demented gooners from around the world. Makes me feel less crazy ๐
Welcome back, CoR!
Grab yerself a drink.
BMBD!
CoR – I have to see those pics…
*waiting for the link*
Thanks LG! Don’t mind if I do. Redbull vodka please! ๐
I haven’t scanned this one as yet Snir, but will probably skip futsal tonight and try to get it done. I spend so much time doing football related stuff that my art producing time suffers…
Btw, I forgot to mention Silent Stan and Doctor Spin, great stuff!
@Wind: I found that the most enjoyable Arsenal related blogs for me are this one, A Cultured left foot (reserved and always on the level), 7amkickoff (off-the-cuff and quirky but fun), and of course Arseblog, which used to be the only Arsenal blog I read for years until fairly recently…the Arsenal Collective is worth checking out too
Holic,
enjoy reading your articles, but have noticed that your site is not appearing on goonernews.com, any reason for that?
*rolls off another huge beast of the female persuasion and lights a cigar*
โBaby, you know you must be a doctor because you make me feel fine.โ
โOf course, I worked hard for these letters behind my name.โ
โNot as hard as I worked behind you.โ
โYou got that right honey.โ
*Shaft applies liberal amounts of moustache wax while staring at his Frank McLintock poster*
โIf that old saying, โYou are what you eatโ is right, then that must make me a doctorโฆโ
*The hairy hippo emits a laugh that shakes both her massive mammaries and the waterbed*
โNot quite honey, you have to say the Hippocratic oath…โ
โBut, Iโve already dedicated my life to laying big broadsโฆโ
…I love your guitar, would you pluck it ๐
Morning all, just when I thought it was safe to return…. ๐
Wind @ #207 & tabs @ #205 – Thank you both gents and I would like to dedicate that to my trainer, my ….zzzz…..
CoR @ #233 – Don’t hold back fella, let’s see those drawings, they sound great ๐
‘Holic @ #239 – Big heh! ๐
I notice Shaft has now acquired medical qualifcations, dispensed from the loo roll in The Quackery per chance? This presents me with a minor conunfrum as I have already decided to refer to our latest star signing, Dr.Spin, as Dr.S. Therefore, if Shaft persists with his M.D.’s title, to avoid confusion, I will refer to him as Dr.H. I hope that’s agreeable to a majority of the pile in this bar ๐
I am thoroughly confused
Extract 13th November
Dear Diary
Finally, a turn for the good.
Some new blood for the Boardroom – just what was needed. ย I haven’t seen his costume yet, but apparently he is some form of Super Hero – Doctor Spin. ย If he’s dressed in tight lycra and a cape, I will obviously have to keep him away from our resident flake (Smallballs).
The atmosphere between Roxette and I is still colder than a witches tit. ย My offering of a romantic movie didn’t go down particularly well. ย When I put the silvery DVD thing in the video, nothing much seemed to happen (apart from some weird crunching noises after which the screen went blank, no matter how often I pressed “Play”). ย The Chimp seemed to get particularly agitated at this and shat on the carpet.
It didn’t help by me rolling in to the bedroom at 4 am this morning. ย The events between 11:35 and then are somewhat vague – I presume I had one of my episodes. ย I awoke to find Roxette gone and the Chimp cutting up my favourite Arsenal top with a pair of secateurs. ย I don’t know where the primate found them but am slightly concerned that Roxette has plans to weild them in a most unorthodox manner. ย Deciding against risking another carpet defecation, I left the Chimp to practice his new found love of horticulture and got out of there.
Arrived in the office this morning energised. ย Doctor Spin will still need to be interviewed even although he has been hired – he needs to impress me the same as any other DJ so we have an 11 o’clock in interview room 3. ย Even Edwin can’t cock this one up….
Where to begin?
A vintage evening of posts! Too many to mention, other than:
Welcome Wind (not often you say that!)
Welcome Dr S, I have a feeling that you are just what The Quackery needs.
Dr T – ๐
TaBS. Guinness.
And all of the very many others – a very enjoyable read. Now, I really need to do some work. Haven’t seen Dr C for a while, he mentioned something about job interviews. …
Crazy crazy set of drinks! Dr Z, tabs, TS, Trev, Snowy – Brilliant posts ๐
Special mention to the latest episode of BTA and Trev’s limericks – laugh out loud stuff !
I don’t exactly remember when I found out about this blog, but have been a regular since. How could I not be with a bunch of nutters like this? ๐
Cheers
Oh and wind, IPA is indeed Ivan’s personal assistant in BTA episodes
Perhaps Shaft could be “Preparation H”?? I’m sure he’s encountered a few grapes in his time.
Dr F
I neglected to congratulate you on your latest journal entries – consider it done! A Guinness for you too…. ๐
Are we to expect another ‘I never said them things’ from Cesc now?
Or has he been rotten to the core by DD/Barรงa DNA?
Ollie – if you look ar what he said, it doesn’t quite match up to the headlines;
“I don’t know if they will keep him. It is his decision.
“At his age, if he wants to move it will be his last chance and if he wants to stay he will stay and retire at Arsenal.”
Well, durr…… no “warning” to RVP in that. More a statement of the obvious.
Dr.C @ #246 – I’m glad that you picked up on my thread, great minds and all that ๐
Harsha @ #245 – Thanks! However, I’ll be needing to raise my game to continue being mentioned in the same breath as the the other esteemed regulars that you/we also appreciate.
Ollie @ #248 – Let’s face it, our former captain and poster boy isn’t smelling too good these days. I’m with Arsenal Gent on these matters, just sayin’…. ๐
…and the quarter of a millenia is ours too ๐
I haven’t really seen the headlines, Dr C, well yes OK, the F365 that says ‘last chance for RvP to leave’.
The quotes are dubious though. I mean, who asked the question and why?
Or is it just the hand of Darren Dein again? I just don’t like the idea of him speaking about this at all. Especially with all the previous of these Catalan Cunts (no offence meant ๐ ) I’m with the Gent and TS on that ๐
Should have come to the quackery. Sainsbury pharmacy is painfully slow ๐
Ollie
Think it was in the meeja interviews after the England game. But, agreed, the best response would be “no idea, none of my business”.
But then we are talking about footballers…
TS – with you all the way on Shaft.
Sometimes I forget that footballers are footballers indeed, Dr C ๐
And that the English meeja are cunts (well no, I generally don’t forget that bit).
Snir, Great clip of RVP assists @231. Thanks!
Re: Dr. C’s suggestion for Shaft’s nickname. Preparation H seems quite the thing. ๐
http://www.francefootball.fr/#!/news/2011/11/14/113719_cote-d-ivoire-senegal-annule.html
Ivory Coast game cancelled. Less injury risk for Gervinho.
Although….he’s stuck in Saffafrica then? :s
Morning All ,
Lonestar ,CoR and Harsha , – thanks for the kind words . Looking forward to those pics Canons .
Dr C – Cheers for the Guinness , just the thing for a monday morning with a hangover ๐
Dr Shaft @238 ๐ Holic @239 heh ๐
TS @240 – Are we reaching the stage where we have more Doctors than patients ? We need more nurses , and I’m not talking Wolfie !
Dr Andy Goram @241 – You’re not the only one (heh!) .
The Feelgood Diaries @242 – Great stuff ๐
Don’t think what Cesc said was anything much , although I agree with those that say he should cease talking on all things Arsenal now . Perhaps a little less time talking , and a little more time sorting out his god-awful barnet . His “new look” is beginning to rival his early mullet look for eye-popping disaster .
Just checked the arseblog
(non work banned version there :
http://arsenalblog.tagadab.com/ ).
Enjoyable! It’s all the interlull’s fault anyway.
Those interlulls are not only boring, but they always give even more annoying players’ quotes.
After consulting with the spirit of my brother Isaac Hayes and listening to my favourite record one more time, I realized that Doctor Shaft just doesn’t scan.
From now on, I’ll just be Doctor Love. But then again, I’ve always been a doctor of love….I’m a complicated man, and no one understands me but my hefty woman…Can you dig it?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CHbYLjWEEQA
Some big hehs! (as usual) this morning….
Olliski @ #252 – One word answer required: “Splendid!” ๐
‘Holic @ #253 – True, you don’t need to queue at The Quackery but then again you’re unlikley to be dispensed with anything that is going to actually heal you. However, for immediate pain and relief, Drs. C & T and their ‘nurses’ are most definitely your men.
Dr.C @ #254 – Excellent re: Shaft and an “oo…err, missus” for good measure. A possible alternative is Dr.G, where G = Gimlet. Too Viz specific almost certainly.
tabs @ #259 – And a very good morning to you sir. I’m TOTALLY with you re: the need for more nurses of the overtly feminine kind. Cue a second “oo…err, missus”.
Shaft @ #261
Thanks for clearing that up, words by the way that you’re never likely to hear uttered in The Quackery.
‘Dr.L’ it is my man and keep swinging what it is that you swing best.
Boom-shika-wow-wow
I’m off to find this “Green Eyes” chick you cats were talking about earlier….
Right on, Doctor Love.
Who is this man, who would risk his neck for his brother man?
Shaft! Can you dig it?
Morning Holic and Holics, on the lam today minus the mint jelly.
What’s with our Ex-Captain and why doesn’t he keep his yap shut?
@Snir Geuli Thanks for the clips, precious really. Worth it just for the Lupoli goal.
This arseblog work filter has really fucked with my routine ๐
Thanks Ollie for the link(I keep forgetting the url everytime), excellent blog today
Didn’t realised you were barred too, Harsha!
Shaft,
Word had got to me that you had already had an assignment with Ms Green Eyes.
Her DLL contract was terminated on the back of this.
Anyway, good luck – Hope you like rabbit food and a sober outlook ๐
Shaft, I always thought you were cool. Little did I know you hated Spurs as much as the rest of us. Don’t you?
He may be an annoying Northerner at times, but I found this spot on.
http://www.football365.com/john-nicholson/7307899/John-Nicholson
The Scene
D L Ltd Human Resources Department โ Interview Room 3
Dr Feelgood is sitting at an oval table, with a blank sheet of paper in front of him. Professor Edwin Storey is seen blowing dust from the top of an old fashioned record player in the corner of the room and Feelgood watches him suspiciously, their recent strained relationship making small talk difficult:
Edwin : โThatโs it sorted. I am assuming he will bring singlesโ
Feelgood : โThis guy comes highly recommended. โI wonder what colour his costume will be?โ
Edwin: (in an exasperated voice) โSo, if Iโve got this right, you offered this guy a job BEFORE he has been in for an interview? Jesus wept.โ
Feelgood: โNo need to get shirty Edwin, its not as if the last few candidates that you brought in here were exactly the cream of the crop โ do I need to remind you of the mellow yellow sisters that you โdiscoveredโ from California?โ
Edwin: โThat was a misunderstanding. One of our franchise operators out there seemed to think that he needed to trade some family members for an application form. Itโs hardly my fault that they were rejected from the set of Deliverance for being too ugly.โ
Feelgood: โItโs all immaterial. This guy is to be given full Executive privileges. CMC keys, introductions to the Swedes (except Lars), a personally inscribed pipe from Yours Truly, and a copy of my Biography. Once Iโve written it.โ
Edwin (contemptuously) โYouโre the Boss.โ
A muffled sound is heard from the inside of Dr Feelgoodโs jacket. He takes out an iPhone that has been hastily repaired with large wads of masking tape, with half of the exterior clearly terminally damaged.
Feelgood: โYes. Feelgood here. Good. Send him up. (To Edwin) Here comes our prodigy nowโ.
Feelgood cannot hide his disappointment when a smartly dressed businessman walks through the door, with an expensive leather briefcase tightly gripped in his left hand.
Feelgood: โOh, you donโt have a costumeโ. โWhere are your records?โ
Dr Spin: โRecords? Do you mean my references?โ
Feelgood : โNo your record collection.โ Starts droning tunelessly โYou spin me round, round, round like a record baby…..โ
Dr Spin : โErr, I think there must have been a mis-understanding. Iโm a communications specialist. Iโm here to fix your Public Relationsโ
Feelgood : โI donโt let any of my relations out in Public. Apart from Roxette. And if you even suggest that there is something about that woman that needs fixed you better be prepared for an appointment with a black eye. Sheโs maimed other men for less.โ
Dr Spin, hopelessly bewildered, tries once again to reason with the excitable Feelgood.
Dr Spin : โCan you let me see your most recent Press release?โ
Edwin (in a very quiet voice): โErr, that would be my notice calling an EGM…..โ and his voice trails off.
Feelgood (oblivious) โThe Press? What the fuck would I want to release to the Press? The only thing I would release to them is the Ebola virus! (Thinks to himself โ is it the Eboue virus??). Now, do you have โSave all your kisses for me?
Come on lets go to the bar. We can worry about all this Communications stuff later. My public love me. Nothing to fix. Apart from the Happy Train jukebox.”
The two doctors leave the Interview Room and Edwin is seen wearily dismantling the ancient record player, and muttering โUnderpaid. Unappreciated. Roll on the 10th December……โ
zico @ #272
Edwin approves. I reallly must help him to raise his game and encourage him to start publishing “An Experiment In Transport – The Professor’s Observations” ๐
Blimey, TS.
If Edwin goes to the tabloids with serialisation rights, Feelgood may just end up in care (for good!).
zico,
Whilst others may or may not like to see Dr.F in professional care, Edwin is (no matter what) always a faithful friend to ‘The Mis-Guided Doctor’.
Publishing within the certified community of The ‘Holics is as far as anything is likley to go. Some of the inmates might even enjoy it?
In any case, current pressures of work are unlikley to see Edwin put finger to keyboard in the immediate future ๐
Dr Z @272 heh , another cracking instalment ๐ ๐
TS , Prof TES is definitely the man with the inside scoop . Looking forward to his “Observations” . Will he be making a bid for power on the 10th , I wonder ? ๐
Ollie – Thanks for the link . Great article . Never heard of the writer before , but thought it was bang on . Will be absolutely hilarious if Twitchy has to do a bit of bird . Given the amounts involved , anyone know if that is a serious possibility ?
Thanks tabs,
Feelgood managed to get through a post without a single reference to Wolfgang Smallballs.
I would like to say that Dr Feelgood has got him “out of his system” but that could be wildly misconstrued.
Even Dr Spin may find it difficult to fix that. ๐
Zico – your second guinness of the day! ๐
go on Edwin- you know you want to!
Cheers Catalan.
Slow day in the DL Ltd travel office – interlull has a lot to answer for. ๐
Dr Z , heh , Smallballs is very difficult to shake off ๐
Cheers Dr.C @ #278, I’ll keep that pint cold for Edwin until he knocks-off for the day ๐
tabs @ #276 – There will no bid for power, merely an affirmation (or otherwise depending on the shareholder vote) that the current board are still fit for purpose as DLL pursues new strategies for growth. Any talk of treachery is hugely wide of the mark ๐
Dr F advises :
Shareholder vote in a private limited company?
It helps if you know who the shareholders are. Good luck with that as the Glenfiddich flows before noon……
Heh! Fighting talk, zico ๐
Per ‘Holic ast week, it’s going to get messy isn’t it?
PS: Which airport are you flying into?
The Scene : Heathrow Airport Terminal One .
A mexican strides purposefully towards the Check-In Desk . Behind him , a strikingly attractive female struggles with all the suitcases .
El Guv : One first class ticket to Rome , and one standard class ticket please .
Desk Lady : Certainly Sir . You two not travelling together Sir ?
El Guv : Can’t be too careful . Got a mad Doctor on our tail .
Desk Lady : Ah I see Sir . Enjoy your stay in the UK Sir ?
El Guv : Alright I suppose . Opportunities weren’t as plentiful as I had supposed . Thought I had a job that promised much . Turns out the bloke didn’t even get back to me . Still all is not lost , met this fine filly , beautiful isn’t she .
The clearly tiring female reaches the Check In Desk . She is agitated . Her eyes anxiously scan the crowds of people milling through the Airport .
Desk Lady : Name Miss ?
Lady : Green Eyes .
Desk Lady : Yes , I can see .
El Guv : It was her eyes that first attracted me to her .
Desk Lady : Like emeralds Sir ?
El Guv : No , no , like The Mexican Flag , Green , White and Red .
Suddenly Isaac Hayes starts up on the Airport Intercom . Green Eyes face lights up . A man in a long leather overcoat , with an immaculately groomed ‘tache , starts swaying to the beat . His right index finger is crooked , beckoning Green Eyes towards him .
Green Eyes : Now that’s what I call a ‘tache ! I knew he wouldn’t let me down . See ya Sweaty .
Green Eyes runs towards the waiting dancer .
El Guv : Shafted again !!! Ticket for one please ….
I think I’ll stay sober on the 10th. Just sit back and enjoy the show…..
Ex Governor (aka tabs) Brilliant.
I have my own continuity man. ๐
TS – I am bringing the HT Executive jet to err, Kings Cross. ๐
Adios, El Jefe – vaya bien. Hasta la proxima…..
zico @ #288 – Aah, good choice (I think). That must be a fair few hours for you to endure with nothing but a six pack of Guinness for company and/or as a warm-up for the main event. Far more civilized than bloody planes though. Advice: Steer clear of the sausage rolls.
Ollie @ #287 – Yes, you do that. More beverages for us real men to consume ๐
Heh tabs @ #286. A nice ending(????) to that little sub-plot. Then again… ๐
Let the countdown begin….
TS, the train journey will give me time to prepare the D L Ltd strategy paper. Don’t know what I’ll do with the other 4 hours and twenty minutes though…… ๐
For God sakes Edwin show some chops! Friggin’ running dog lackey.
What would Shaft do?
Dr C – Adios amigo .
Dr Z , TS – Cheers ๐
TS 290 : Try calling me a bad influence after that ;D
Limbers up on the touchline…
It all starts from here
I don’t mind anachronism
…and I’ll still grab the goal, thanks!
Some serial lurking going on there…..eh Camberwell?
Don’t mind me.
Nicked it off my toes! Damnation!
More Belgian news :
http://www.francefootball.fr/#!/news/2011/11/14/173829_hazard-ni-mourinho-ni-zidane-ne-m-ont-appele.html
Or no news. With the overlap between Zidane’s and TH14’s Arsenal careers, I’m confused as to who his favourite player truly is.
Actually zico, it was the manager’s decision to bring me on – he needed an impact sub to unlock a dogged defence ;p
I have a feeling that El Jefe is going to pop in every now and then. Admittedly he’ll be busy sorting out / milking dry the Italian economy, but it’s just a hop on a government jet to Blighty….
BTW chaps. This has probably been done to death already but Saturday’s result is exactly why international football can go screw itself. How am I supposed to get excited about a goal scored by that pie-eating pikey? Complete waste of time.
Ollie @ #296 – Heh! A VERY cunning plan ๐
LCG @ #293 – And Edwin bids you a very good day too sir!
Oh, how boring this interlull would be without this bar! Wish I had the comedic genious to contribute some myself but I guess sitting back and just laughing myself silly is quite alright too ๐
Pints all round!
Lars, you have the world famous wallet – that’ll do for starters ๐
zico, that’s true – I contribute by paying for drinks and keeping people suitably drunk all the time ๐
@Lars,
Dear Sir,
an invaluable service for which we are gratefully indebted(hic).
…or perhaps gratefully inebriated? ๐
…And that also;)
Lars
You are the rain to our desert.
At least, you pay the rain-making machine…. ๐
Re: Ex-Governor of Mexican Gaol @286. Too bad about Green Eyes but that Shaft is one bad motherf*cker. ๐
Yay – lets all pray to the Rain God (Lars).
May he rain Guinness ๐
Goonerholic, you have mail.
Interestingly, L’Equipe TV have Vermaelen starting at left-back for tomorrow’s game.
Cannon @ 236,
ibelieveinarsenal is registered with Arseblog, I occasionally take a gander at the main site to see the latest blog out.
7amkickoff has been good when I’ve read it, A Cultured Left Foot as well. Will have to take a look at the Arsenal Collective sometimes as well ๐
Shaft @ 238, you inspire me, although I’m not sure that’s a good thing ๐
Calatan @ 243, Many Thanks, I’m humbled to be a parton of this crazy (interesting;) ) bar, ty for making me feel even more welcome than I already do.
Harsha @ 245, thanks, I have a feeling but wasn’t 100% lol :p
Also, Shaft’s uncoventional airport pulling skills are a wonder to behold from this laptop, more backstory for Green Eyes Dr F or Dr Z?
Evening All
BTW, I note it’s The Verminator’s inception date today. Happy BotDay Thomas!
Note for Lars: Much of the finest comedy requires a straight man. Your contribution is invaluable here, IMO. Take a deep Swedish bow son.
I’m not sure wind – I think Green Eyes ship may have sailed – from Heathrow!
Last I heard Feelgood on the subject he was quoted as saying “so many girls, so little time…..”
As distant from reality as one man could possibly be, if you ask me ๐
I don’t know what is happening there but here(far side of the briney pond) this site has been unavailable for the last couple of hours and my boss(The Gila Woman) isn’t in today. What could it be?
leftcoast
Regarding your comments at #293, specifically:
“For God sakes Edwin show some chops! Frigginโ running dog lackey.”
Firstly, better to be a “running dog lackey” (which I am not to man nor beast) than a complete and utter git.
Apologise sir before you unleash the beast of a high dandered Edwin! ๐
Zico @ 321
Heathrow you say? And a Ship to boot! Sounds juicy ๐
Although Dr Feelgood’s sanity at this point can VERY easily be questioned (Gareth the Chimp wearing the white rag), I’m sure he has a happy place to retreat to during his trials and tribulations, most likely the executive carriage of the Happy Train ๐
In the good doctor’s head of course, this would be very unlikely soon in real life from what I’m hearing about munities and treachery
@Prof TES #323
Now THAT’S more like it!
See, A little prod goes a long way.
Sorry leftcoast but that just won’t do.
I’m going to nip off to help a certain female with green eyes with her physics homework. Will give you a chance to think of a more suitable reply….
@ Prof TES #326
Well Sir, I have tried to be friendly but if it is War you wish you will find my appetite for combat insatiable.
Enjoy yourself as you can.
It’s a drunken, emotional one.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Professor @ 326 I had no idea you could be so…assertive ๐
See you in the astrometrics lab.
*swoons*