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Archive for the 'tongue in cheek' Category

“You need to do a new post, you do.” Do I? What about? “About the Arsenal, of course!” But they’re not doing anything newsworthy at the moment. “What about all those new signings they are being linked with?” What new signings? Kolasinac, good player, great deal. Nobody else has signed. “But NewsNow is full of […]

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Clearing The Bar

The evening after the day before has arrived and the thundersnow has not made it anywhere remotely close to ‘holic Towers. The predictive text really wanted ‘colic to appear there which is particularly apt today given that so many babies on social media are suffering with it. If you will forgive the me, me, me […]

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Too early for a preview, but I can’t take three nights off this side of a Christmas when I may well be conspicuous by my absence. I ask mates for their suggestions for a post. The creative juices were clearly flowing. Picture this strapping Welsh lad suggest in that oh so lovely brogue “Try a […]

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We Are Ten

It’s a modest sort of a Thursday. Quiet, unassuming, not much in the way of new Arsenal happenings to stir things up. Sure, there are the tailwinds from Tuesday’s draw in Paris. I still don’t know why Granit Xhaka and Olivier Giroud didn’t start. Depending on who you listen to we either won the lottery because Cavani […]

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Well, that was very funny, wasn’t it? I think last night provoked the most astonishing range of emotions, and that it ended with most of the football world delighted was a bonus. For one evening the warring factions of Arsenal social media were united by a shared hatred. Great, I thought, I can write all […]

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Ode To Joy

For weeks we were treated to fillet, the pre-season dining was fine, Three weekends, three trophies, we did it, and toasted the Gunners with wine.   So on Sunday the train journey eastwards, was filled with the growing belief, That The Arsenal were destined for trophies, a title perchance, oh relief.   Now the first […]

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Arsenal Football Club and official Club partner PUMA have unveiled a world first; the Left-Footed evoPOWER Football. Designed exclusively for Arsenal, the Left-Footed evoPOWER Football was created to increase the accuracy, power and precision of a left-footed player. In a game currently dominated by right-footed players and right-footed equipment, the Club felt it was crucial to […]

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I heard you all. You were saying “I wish Arsene would sign a central defender”. There were doubters amongst you, I know. “He won’t open his piggy bank. Come back in Ten Years Time.” Le Boss heard the debate and understood. “Sometimes it isn’t easy to get the deal done, but if I can find […]

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A Deadline Day Ode

‘Twas the day after Christmas, and all through the house, every brain was thinking, Arsene. Man or mouse? Some laptops were broken, their batteries dead; the ice bucket challenger had some ice on his head. What’s this? The anguished cry of so many, no central defender? the man is a Benny! No beast of a […]

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On a balcony in Rio Arsene sips at his morning coffee and chuckles to himself. He is reading just the first page of NewsNow. Aymeric Laporte, David Marshall, Calum Chambers, Carlos Vela, David Ospina, Loic Remy, Clement Grenier, Morgan Schneiderlin, Antoine Griezmann, Mario Balotelli, Romelu Lukaku, Alvaro Morata, Danilo, Lorenzo Insigne, Karim Benzema, Iker Casillas. […]

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