The Laughing Gnomes Of Zurich, And Jens 2, The Shining
Mar 15th, 2011 by 'holic
What is it with the Swiss, eh? Now I’m not normally one for generalisations here, and I am taking the risk of causing upset to some good friends from that neck of the woods, but they really are starting to get right on my threepennies.
I suppose we should have known back in August that there was some horrible conspiracy building under the Alps. Young Boys allowed a three goal advantage to be pegged back to 3-2 at home, and then meekly surrendered in the second leg of their Champions League qualifier against the Stratford Rejects. Wankdorf indeed.
Yet that was just a minor irritant compared to the performance of Massimo Busacca, the potty-mouthed cuckoo clock polisher from Bellendzona, who won a competition in Yodeller’s Monthly to referee the Champions League contest between Barcelona and Arsenal. Is it just a coincidence that the man who saw no wrong from Barca players raising their hands at opponents, and who sent off Robin van Persie for attempting a shot on goal just after we had gone ahead on aggregate, has a Swiss bank account? Tell me I’m wrong.
Now to cap it all we have the Swiss FA, a kind of administrative equivalent of the Jamaican Bobsleigh Federation, coming out and reporting that Johan Djourou is fit as a fiddle after being stretchered off at Old Trafford on Saturday with a dislocated shoulder. He could even play against Bulgaria in eleven days time, according to them, which came as something of a surprise to his employers. Arsenal, I’m assured, still expect him to have corrective surgery after seeing a specialist on Thursday (but why Thursday is unclear. Arsenal obviously didn’t go for the top level of cover with BUPA, but I digress).
Well that’s your three and out as far as I’m concerned , Switzerland. You can shove your watches, your clocks, your bankers, and your poxy chocolate where the sun doesn’t shine. I’m boycotting the bloody lot, I am. Who’s with me, ‘holics?
Jens 2, The Script
And so it is written, and you know it. We are at Bolton on 24th April, a week before the home game with Manchester United. It is in the crystal ball that Manuel, maimed by a flying Kevin Davies elbow, endures his final breakdown as an Arsenal player. Only one man can salvage our title dreams now. You can see the glint in his eye as he strolls onto the pitch at the Reebok. Jack Nicholson couldn’t match the face.
“Here’s Jensy!”
By the end of the game Davies himself has been stretchered off with breathing difficulties, and Jens completes his comeback wearing only one glove. The man is back.
You just know that something like this will happen. The crazy German will feature, probably starting the game against United, and the three games that follow. It is as certain as night follows day.
The question is, just how scary will it get?
146 Responses to “The Laughing Gnomes Of Zurich, And Jens 2, The Shining”
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VERY scary….. and very fun.
Does the Happy Train have a bar carriage??
Great post Mr Holic, fucking Swiss should stick to sheltering tax dodgers, and lets face it, that at least would exclude all premiership managers, I mean what self-respecting team would even consider employing a tax dodger as their manager?
And the mad man is back, and I hope part of his job description is to shake up some for whom their main physical exertion is walking to HR to get their pay cheques.
Definitely a drink for you Mr Holic for the post.
Heh, nice one Holic.
I like Toblerone – is that allowed?
Evening Holic
After tonight i think most Gooners would agree that it looks very much like we bought the wrong Mexican.!!
I went to Montreux once, same year that Smoke On The Water came out. I didnt meet Deep Purple though.
Stone Roses @2
They don’t even have to exert themselves to do that anymore.
They are paid by direct debit transfer, straight into their Swiss Bank Accounts.!!!!
‘Holic,
Good to see a humorous post to help lift the malaise. You couldn’t write the script of our season to date so anything could happen over the course of our next 10 games. How about Jens coming on in the Manure game after Manuel collapses with a broken heart, knocking Rooney and Nani out cold in a single set piece and then punting the ball upfield where it bounces off the back of Evra’s c*nty head and into the net?
Dr.C,
There is indeed a well-stocked bar on this train but shouldn’t you be attending to nappies and an exhausted wife??? *removes tongue from cheek*
This is honest, no humour intended, but I would really love LeMad to be retained in some capacity as a ‘psychological coach’. He could inject just the bite that we are maybe missing.
And he’s insane.
Zico,
What about fondue….oh….
Put him out as a striker: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LEEHQgsTUJk&feature=related
TS – too far 😉
Back to Jens – get him in against Stoke – take them on single handed. We can’t have too many strong characters in and around the dressing room.
So the manky mob have gone through – hoping for a quarter final against the Chavs or Barcelona (or do we still want them into the semi finals in which case they can knock out the Cocks),
@ Joshua
Note to Chamakh – that is how you score with a header!!
Humour this week Holic is good good good!! 😀
Nice one.
Congrats CG btw wet the babys head on me mate 🙂
Humour aside, the Djourou injury is a disaster. I think we need to think about giving Miquel (with a Q) more playing time.
Welcome back Jens. I believe portacabin bogs have already been installed at both the North Bank and Clock End of the stadium, and am betting you can get into one of them, have a piss, a quick shake and still get back on the pitch to save a shot quicker than the spanish waiter realises he is blind on his near post. He may be a mental German but he is OUR mental German.
Mark the Spark – consider the baby’s head well and truly soaking!
TS – after 3 kids the allure of nappies is seriously over-rated. I’d actually like to take issue with the fact that my wife, after just a few hours work, gets to put her feet up in a “hospital” for 3 days.
Employment laws nowadays….
Drink please.
Very very happy to have Jens back – the season just became very interesting!
Stone Roses @ #9: With a rationale like that, where you work you must be in charge of Human Resources.
‘holic I’m with you and promise to give up my semiannual Toblerone. My only Swiss friend hasn’t heard from me in months anyway so the boycott may only have minimal effect but every little bit counts!
Bollocks to the swiss. Just ditches my little red pocket knife.
Loving the jens mancs link but isn’t chesney expected back by then? I was under the impression he was only out for 4/6 week?
Shocking news about Eric Abidal, I hope he recovers from his cancer soon.
‘holic,
“Here’s Jensy!” Brilliant! Simply brilliant. And the Swiss … snared!!!
To answer your question, it may get so scary my mind’s eye can picture Jens between the posts wearing a hockey mask and the reason he wears only one glove is because he’s sporting a machete with his ungloved hand.
And Blatter and co are also seated in Schwitzerland…
Amen, Mick @21
Evening Holics! Great post, I’m seriously looking forward to King Crazy coming back to the squad. We needed a miracle, and I guess this is the result- who can argue?
Best wishes to Abidal. He sure is hell ain’t the only person in this world struggling right now, but no one deserves to face what he now has to. Best wishes to all of you, Holics!
Guinness, por favor.
His release…………… not cancer a cyst not tumor
FRP
So that is good news! I wonder how long it will be until we here Nasri’s father sprouting off how Nasri has always had Real Madrid DNA. ZZ is courting Nasri hard….. That sucks but it is ZZ’s words not tabs. If Real had not bought that wandering eyed German kid Nasri would be gone. I like and hope he stays he is worth every cent that Cesc is…. But when ZZ I mean his DNA calls he will be gone, this will happen. If shit goes as some very informed people have said we could loose….. Cesc, Bendy, Vela, Nasri, and Almunia… What ever you think you lose those NO MATTER WHO WE BRING IN WE WILL STILL HAVE AN EXCUSE “NEW TEAM, need to settle blah blah blah another year of excuses.
Just so you know I am not shit sprouting. This week or next Clichy 5 year deal will be anounced.
Crazy post, ‘Holic. Crazy as a Jens.
Late night cuppa please barman. Just thinking about what Arseblogger wrote the other day: We just need somebody to step up and be a hero. Last year nobody did, so we’re due for some heroics around here. Who will it be?
Jens?:)
I just hope he hasn’t calmed down with age or anything of that bull crap or i do not want to see him go out and stop fights and try and calm things down like a matured old head, bloody give it to them
A few pints of beer please and cheers to jens hoping he lives up to the name of OUR Mad Jens.
Reports out today saying there will be a 6.5% increase in ticket prices at The Grove next year. That may receive an interesting reaction considering recent events. If it is true it will be another master bit of pr from the board.
Just read about Abidal. I guess all genuine football fans would want to wish him all the very best. A bit of perspective for all of us.
on another note boys, does any one else find our ticket prices ridiculous ? the club is fleecing us. my brother in law (you don’t get to choose them..) is a united fan and their prices are approx 50% of ours. i know its manchester and not london but twice the price ? and we still don’t buy quality and tolerate denilson bentdner rosicky etc. am i the only one annoyed by this ?
Yes Clive we did buy the wrong mexican and Steve T, those knives are crap anyway.
The ‘Mad German’ eh? Good ‘keeper but made plenty of mistakes as I recall.
Something else to lighten the mood. I watched The Canaries beat Bristol City 3 – 1 Monday night. Young Henri Lansbury came off the bench to score one and make another in the final few minutes. Yes, I know it’s ‘only’ Championship football but it maybe augurs well for us in the future.
Something else interesting about watching Norwich was how bloody hard they all work for each other, one makes a mistake and another player is there covering. They lose the ball and work their socks off to get it back again. Pass and move all the time, no static players and all at pace. It isn’t rocket science it’s good basics. One or two of our players should watch and learn.
Wow regarding the ticket prices people are really starting to get irate and this isnt a smart move by the board if end up again trophy less
(the stadiums will start to go half empty for all these mediocre matches so i guess we will have to wait till end of season to find that out)
Although i do not buy tickets since i live in India i really find this absurd, the current cricket wc is going on here and it is absolutely shocking at the ticket prices here, but there isnt so much noise been made by the fans and the stadiums going full, in fact some of the tickets are being sold in black (i.e. i buy a ticket and sell it to someone at 5-10 times the price when there arent any available) and people buy them without making noise, i wonder if its the same in London, since its a big city and all will people voice their discontent or just decide to get on with it.
Absurdly high ticket prices are alas par for the course in the modern game, and at big events in any sport seemingly. The stadium will never go half empty though, we’re not Wigan…
charlie
i agree but there is absurb for a one off game = ch league final say, and absurb for season tickets . the chavs and our neighbours are nowhere near these prices either
Glad to see no complaints about the squad so far
Good to see Lens back!
Hope he doesn’t get sent off last game of the season during the game we need to decide the title! 🙂
…Jens
‘holic your Jens 2 script is admirable but the title can use some work. Can revenge be worked in anywhere?
GT, thanks for the clarification. I believe Lens is a Ligue 1 club most readers (other than our manager) might consider obscure but in any case very different from Jens.
Nasri I know. One ov them days 🙂
A Swiss account in my name………you’ll hear no complains from me 🙂
……a Swiss referee on the other hand, pffft
Swiss FA, well, what to expect from any FA really.
Good day ‘holic and ‘holics.
Steve T, only club level prices have so far been announced, and yes they are up 6.5% 🙁
Could the shooting oneself in the foot disease be spreading from the pitch to the boardroom? 🙂
THE KNACKERED LEAGUE 2010-2011
League and Cup Fixtures up to and including 15th March 2011
Arsenal 48 Games – 2nd position
CITY 47 – 3rd
Liverpool 44 – 6th
the rags 44* – 1st
Tottenham 41 – 5th
Chelsea 40* – 4th
Birmingham 39 – 17th
West Ham 39 – 18th
Stoke 37 – 12th
Aston Villa 37 – 13th
Wigan 36 – 20th
Bolton 36 – 7th
Wolverhampton 35 – 19th
Everton 35 – 9th
West Brom 34 – 16th
Newcastle 33 – 10th
Fulham 34 – 11th
Blackburn 33 – 14th
Sunderland 32 – 8th
Blackpool 31 – 15th
*includes community shield knockabout
Read more: http://www.manchestercity.vitalfootball.co.uk/article.asp?a=235215#ixzz1GhBekhK3
Just wondering, Does this article mean Ferguson must spend the duration of the ban in a Middle Eastern harem with fine women and cheeses?
http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/hi/football/teams/m/man_utd/9426939.stm
My favourite Jens moment of all time, was against Drogba, after he shoved drogba, and the cheski man reacted by pushing him back, he fell like he been shot by a cannon. Its was classic mad Jens stuff, for me, that singular act made him the greatest goalkeeper of all time. Good to have him back.:)
I hate reality tv.
Has anyone seen any of that Pro FC nonsense? I caught a short clip of it on Sky Sports News. Two dudes off the street competed and won the right to train with the Spuds’ first squad. Can you imagine if one of those two blokes from just off the street do in Modric’s or Bale’s knee? I mean, as a Gooner, I would be rolling on the floor because of the Spuds’ stupidity to allow the possibility in the first place. Otherwise, I really do hate reality tv. Watching Gunner games on a regular basis is plenty ‘real’ for me thank you.
Although I;m pleased we have no mid-week game, God it’s so boring.
Marknotmike
That was hilarious. I also seem to remember Drogba falling dramatically first and then thinking f cuk that and then getting up, going over to push Jens to which he then went over holding his face! he he 🙂
8ball: unforunately, I fear that the suspension will only help ManU. Now the red-nosed one can play the martyr card and bang on about how the FA are doing everything they can to stop ManU yada yada yada and fire up his players even more.
Fergie’s five match ban includes the match at The Grove …
Theo, let’s hope Rafael’s and O’Shea’s hamstring injuries are still going strong then too, along with a deluge of other serious injuries to their more prominent players. An Arsenal-scale deluge, at the very least. I doubt they will miss Fergie too much. Would you?
@Nasri 54
Maybe we can see Fergie try and pull one of these!
http://www.flickr.com/photos/jenniferkr/3868880187/
It’s been said elsewhere, by others, that our propensity for injuries are down to two key factors:
1) our players are made of glass
2) our team physios really suck
I wonder what the truth is …
Nice post ‘Holic
***Wenger confirms Jen’s re-joining us til the end of the season***
Yay! 🙂
‘Holics,
Apologies for being the purveyor of bad “news”…..
Wenger also confirms:
** Vermaelen out for the rest of the season **
Boo! 🙁
Anyone surprised?
TS@59, I heard in October that TV5 was out for the season, so no surprises to me. AW in Jan said TV5 will be back in 3 weeks.
The defense that will play on Saturday will be exactly the same defense we played with v WBA at the Grove. We conceded 3 goals at home, what’s to think it will be any different Saturday?
As a fan I hoped & believed we’d win something this season but my expectations are now that we retain our Top 4 status. I can’t see us winning the League. Ferguson knows what to do to get Utd over the line as Champs.
Nope, not me.
Should have known in September really 🙁
I still blame Arseblog for flogging me a £20 ‘Verminator’ T shirt 🙂
MtS,
Definitley Arseblog’s fault, the swines…. 😉
bernard,
It ain’t over ’til it’s over…. Understand your lack of confidence, many of us feeling the same way, but we have a great chance for the championship. The best since we last won it, in fact. Hope for the best and brace yourself for the worst?
TS, I admire your attitude, I agree let’s hope for the best but it keeps bringing me heartache.
Good day ‘holics,
Where is everybody? On vacation?
I’m happy to receive the Jens confirmation and not surprised at all with the TV5 confirmation. It just really pisses me off more that we did not open the pocket book during the window. As a fan, it infuriates me that we did not get proven CB strength in January. Why? Because TV will be back in a few weeks time. Yeah sure. Doesn’t AW sound a little like the Japanese government at the moment?
TvN
AW would make an awful politician. He answers far too many questions directly, openly and honestly. His latest press conference is a good example, if you have the time to listen.
Not much point dwelling on past events now unless you enjoy upsetting yourself. Energies might be better spent getting behind the team and AW for the next 10 games. Then we have the whole summer to pick thru’ the bones if that’s your thing.
Just my opinions of course. I’m guessing some will not agree.
We might well finish this season behind Man Utd and have a better defensive record (which is currently 27 to 30 in our favour, and they have a fair few injuries themselves on that front at the moment), so who knows if buying a defender would have made any difference.
TS, Not too many managers would make good politicians. Maybe Harry could do it seeing as he has experience in tax evasion.
At least Wenger, unlike SAF, has learned the art of criticizing referees in a round about way. For some reason that is the only sure way to get in trouble with the FA (leg breaking tackles, shooting someone on the training ground, giving goalkeepers a grab around the neck – not so much).
I welcome Jens back and hope his winning mentality can be an influence in the dressing room, I’m not too optimistic of his playing abilities though. Yes he’s in good shape, but keepers need to be playing and he hasn’t been.
A glass of the black stuff for however chooses to join me in a toast for St Paddy’s day.
Cheers.
Charlie,
Have to agree re: buying a defender. It’s going to be very close run thing. They have all the experience and the tactics. We have the raw talent and, erm, we’re much nicer people all round 🙂
Joshua,
More ESP going on. I was just thinking that The Twitcher would be a perfect English politician in terms of his tax affairs and expenses so he gets my vote to be Chancellor 😉
Bernard,
I know you’re permanently depressed but try and look on the bright side – would you have forecast us to be this close to the top team AFTER that result against WBA at the Grove?
The one thing that we CAN influence between now and the end of the season is how much support we give the guys who are left to try and get us over the line.
There is not much chance of the players responding to a negative “support” so let’s make the best of the situation that we’ve got.
The close season is long and there will be plenty of opportunities for group therapy then 😉
Zico,
Is the happy train still standing at the platform?
Despite our current GA v ManU’s GA in the league, what about the opportunity cost of not getting quality depth at CB during the window? We could have upgraded but we didn’t. Why? Stingy Voyeur. I love the guy but he must have a Scottish grandmother.
I know we should support what we have got to the finish line this year and dance with the fat lady with eczema that we came with to the dance and all that jazz. BUT, I have a very unsettled stomach thinking about having to go the rest of this season with Squid. Sevilla didn’t want him …
Careful TvN. Zico is listening…..
The eternal question, who should we have bought?
Besides, Man Utd’s defence is starting to look equally makeshift, we’ve had Squillaci playing for a fair bit of the season and we’ve still let in fewer goals! Rather irritatingly over a third of our goals conceded this season in the league have come in just three painful matches. But yes, not having Djourou now is an acid test, we’ve let in one (offside) goal with him in the league in 2011, without him we shipped four in about half an hour (albeit Mr Dowd helped with that one).
And sometimes statistics lie or in the very least embellish. How many of us really believe that without JD & TV we have a better deep triangle (GK & CBs) than ManUre? I know next to no neutrals do. And Gooners who smell the coffee certainly do not either.
I know it’s not the offseason now and we should be speaking about such matters then. But it still does not stop me from feeling the way that I do right now. Why should I suppress my honest beliefs right now? The truth is the truth and we should be screaming it from the mountain tops. How can we ever expect change if we are just going to be silent lambs? And I heard that mgmt just raised some season’s ticket prices – nice. Sounds just like a government to me. Tax us more and give us less – perfect.
I’ll still be cheering on the boys the rest of the way. But we can’t overlook such disconcerting thriftiness to our club’s detriment time and time again. We can chew gum and walk at the same time.
Charlie
Plug (Ferdinand) is rumoured to be out for the rest of the season. If Vidic picks up a knock thy’re situation is no better than ours.
Nothing personal Zico. Just an analogy to make a point. Have a pint of the black stuff on TS’s tab.
Happy St. Patty’s day one and all!!!
@ TS – Happy train awaits but some refuse to board – such is life.
Mr Van Nasregas – watch it with the Scottish stereotypes – you Americans are all the same 😉
How can the goals conceded column lie? It’s not a case of who is better, it’s a case of who is letting in goals. I’m not saying our defence is A+, but it’s just annoying when it’s our defence that gets all the flak.
And I dare say, if ManUre have to go the rest of the way with Smalling and Brown they are stronger there than we are with Kos and Squid (some of the media call that pair of ours, “Our French Doors”). I like Kos as I think he is a keeper. But no one can convince me about the lack of quality emanating from Squid. I’m not drinking that Kool Aid. Drink it yourself. It might be harbouring radioactive particles that Pravda says is okay to drink.
TvN
You’re feelings are as valid as anyone’s here as is your right to express your views…. but you didn’t need me to tell you that.
I’m not the revolutionary type but my sense of smell is keen. I can even differentiate coffee from BS 😉
Good to hear that you’ll be cheering on the boys for the rest of the season. I’ll raise a glass to that with you if the mood takes you.
Zico & TS – I’m on said train but I’m in the liquor car 😉
…. on your tab this time Theo.
What pisses me off is that around Christmas we all knew TV was out for the rest of the season, yet we have been fed ‘three weeks’ for bloody months.
So now we gotta play ten games, 6 away, with our 3rd and 4th choice CB. And most of the games with our 3rd choice keeper.
Attack has to be our best form of defence, or phucked we will be.
Zico – and btw, I’m Kanadian.
TS – I’m drinking if you or Zico is buying.
A man’s gotta celebrate the day of the Irish no?
TvN
OK, just one more round then I’ve gotta get out of here….
I appreciate a forum to discuss the club. And I generally do so in an educated way without throwing the f-bombs and the like around. We all shouldn’t be signing from the same hymnsheet on all matters … that’s Kommunism. And I’m certainly not one of those.
Anyone got Citeh on the tele now? I don’t think they’ll overcome the Kiev deficient. Only watching out of curiousity, mind you.
SR – We might be signing the same tune.
Barman – a round of Pepto Bismol might be in order here.
If we can survive WBA and escape with all three points, recover with an international break, then things will be a bit rosier.
Theo I knew you were from C anada – read again and see if you can spot the liberal dose of irony. 🙂
Guinness for all my fellow travellers please barman.
I haven’t even started drinking today and I can’t spell singing properly 🙂
I guess I had the window on my mind and the opportunity cost of not getting any new signings …
Zico – I see it now you sly bugger. I guess I’m just a little too upset speaking on this Stingy Voyeur matter at the moment and irony flies over my head. I’m also one Kanadian that does not take offence at being called an American. Actually, I would find it a compliment.
Being as upset as I am I think today is a good day for a real pub to whet my appetite.
What I cant understand is the lies.
The TV situation was a lie.
This magical ‘ring fenced’ money in the transfer pot, £30 million for each of the last 5 years, of which we spent net negative, means, after buying every one in our bar a CRATE EACH of their tipple, we should have around £155 million to spend this summer. Lies.
And we will probably buy 17 year old Hercule Pontificate from French 3rd division side Les Onions for £2 million, and spend the rest on pay rises for the already rich.
Come late May, will we all be lamenting, “What if?”
TV5 was expected to be out all season so the news isn’t exactly shocking as the media would have u believe.Miquel should be given a start.We need defenders with height for teams like stoke and spuds so he needs the matchtime.
west brom scored 3 at the grove but people forget that its woy hogson in charge now.it’ll be hoofball from wba considering the possession we’ll have .an early goal will settle our nerves.
West Brom record since Big Roy joined.
P 4, W 1 D 3 L 0. F 8 A 6.
Roy will set up his WBA side in a very predictable defensive set up. Very conservative and direct footy can only be expected from the hosts.
On a side note, what a nutter that Balotelli is. Straight red @ 35′ with his side down 0-2 aggregate at the time. If I were Citeh I’d get rid of him.
I have just had this awful premonition that Vela comes off the bench in the 85th minute and scores the winner through Almunias legs.
Vela won’t be allowed to play against his parent club,will he?city only have the fa cup to play for now.city or united?can’t decide which team i hate more.
I dont know if Vela can play. Sanchez-Watt played against us.
‘holic, Did I detect a one word change in the title of this blog? If Shining is not a new addition, please mark it down to St. Patrick’s Day craziness, although in truth I haven’t partaken yet. Which reminds me, a pint of that black stuff everyone is talking about please barman. SR, I think we need a Mexican witchdoctor to stave off those Vela premonitiions.
Can’t imagine Vela being allowed to play this one. Letting loanees play in the Mickey Mouse Cup with a lower league side against us is one thing. This is something totally different.
ManUre is the greater of two evils. I hope Citeh knock them out. ManIOU perfected buying buying trophies well before the sheik arrived.
Bartley is playing as a CM beside Edu for Rangers today. PSV get the away goal and are up 0-1 @ 15′.
Mickey Mouse Cup or Carling Cup or even throw in the FA Cup. They’re all Mickey Mouse to me these days. The UCL and the league are all that really matters in the modern age.
No way you can allow Vela to play against us in the league. No way.
8ball,
You don’t have any of those PQ lagers left? I’ll find a way to partake tonight. Got to.
And the only witch doctor we need is in our training room. He’d be an improvement over our professional physios hands down.
TVN,
I wonder if your term ‘professional physios’ referring to our medical staff is in fact an oxymoron.
SR – I think I’ve said more than enough. Some, will no doubt, take offence with my criticism of said professionals. However, I need only point to our history wrt injuries and say that the proof is in the pudding. Also, I know fans of other clubs openly mock the quality of our physios. Witch doctors could very well be an upgrade.
TvN the only remaining unopened Quebec lager in the fridge is the “Quelque Chose” ale brewed with cherries, and I’ve been reluctant to try it due the perhaps overly sweet cherry taste but tonight could be the time to give it an uncorking, or to “pop the cherry” as it were. If the uncorking goes forward, I will offer a toast to Ignasi Miquel and Henri Lansbury, our semi-virginal young boys who have recently broken some barriers of their own. Of course, for them to truly break the barrier and become an official senior Arsenal player they will have to break an ankle, leg or foot, or tear a hamstring, medial collateral tendon, or incur some other horrible injury that will keep them out of training for a minimum of six months.
8ball – you’d be best advised to stay well clear of any ales of the cherry flavour or raspberry flavour, etc. be they from PQ or Belgium or Bangladesh or wherever. Those are best re-gifted to acquitances you need not the company of any longer … if you get my meaning.
… such as in-laws 🙂
Classic Post ‘holic.
It would certainly register on Arseblogs “Give a Fuck O Meter”.
To cap it all Arsene has to apolgise to UEFA?????
What a load of bollocks
Evening all. Happy Paddys Day to our friends across the pond who are setting off on the path that I am reaching the end of now 🙂
TvN you turned out to be right on the money with this one. After one medicinal taste the whole bottled was quickly dumped into a bottomless receptacle known as the sink. Cherry beers as I suspected are not my first, second or third choice.
Absolutely 8ball. Always give a wee berth to any fruit flavoured beers.
A nice wheat beer or white ale though is another matter and a totally pleasurable experience. Take Hoegaarden for example. It’s subtly flavoured with coriander and orange peels and it is passed down from the heavens by Belgium beer Gods. Bless them … every one.
s/b wide berth. A very, very, very wide berth.
Lawro has predicted our score, and we had better be on our best game or he could turn out to be right: WBA 1, Arsenal 1
Vela won’t be allowed to play.
I’m a full fledged AKB, but I am FURIOUS!!! Saying that “he hasn’t played since Sep. and I NEVER expected him to come back this season” is an insult to the fans’ intelligence!
If you didn’t expect him to come back this season then why did you not get anyone in January?! You said you’re not getting a player in January cause TV5 is weeks away…
KNOWINGLY Playing 3 CB’s from January to May is too big a gamble, and the chips you hold are mine too, not just yours Arsene, I’m not keen on you gambling on all our chips “just like that”…
I’m fucking furious.
Join the club Snir. Arsene sounds like the Japanese government right now to me. I’m not buying what he is selling and my eyebrow is raised like Spock’s or Ancelotti’s at the moment. Didn’t the Stingy Voyeur manage a Japanese club before us? There’s a segue there somewhere.
8ball – Lawro?
Here’s what else Lawro has to say, which should be some grist for the mill: “The Gunners undoubtedly have great ability but there’s no mental strength or leadership. Arsene Wenger says captain Cesc Fabregas is a great leader. No. Fabregas is a great player but he’s not a leader and I don’t think he ever will be. When things are going wrong it’s the leaders who come to the fore and Arsenal don’t have any.” Read on at http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/hi/football/football_focus/9428120.stm
What’s even more ridiculous is to see headlines about Arsene spending @ £25m for Eczema. Total tripe. Stingy Voyeur doesn’t spend that kind of money. Even if he could get Messi at that price. Transfer speculation news makes me laugh. They’re like The National Enquirer or British tabloids.
I won’t comment on the 1-1 prediction but saying cesc is not a leader is just plain stupid.If someone says we don’t have a leader in the defence he’d have a point.Neville was manu captain.I don’t remember any match winning contributions from him or him firing the team up when they were trailing.He just did his job.The same goes for cesc.We will have leader in the back when verma returns.
The person who dissapoints the most when our backs are against the wall is song.he increases the pressure by commiting silly fouls.He’ll prob be better next season as he’ll finally have some competition for his spot(frimster).
Tiz goot to zee sa german bak!
Hi ‘holics,
Snir, TVN- I understand your frustration. I think it is entirely justified.
If there’s one person who shouldn’t lose his mind at this stage,it is Arsene Wenger.
Ten games to go. The best we can do is take it ONE game at a time.
Attack is our best chance of winning the title.
Nasri and RVP- both have to step up and start scoring.
The attitude has to be all out attack.Score one, don’t ease up as is our habit. Go and put one more in. And one more. Relentless attack. There you go ‘holics. If we can do this against the ‘lesser’ teams, we will reach there.
Come on Arsenal! It’s time to fight for the title..
My tab was opened a while back and not much has been spent from it..so help yourselves holics
Harsha, I feel the same way.
I’m petrified of the games against the lesser teams. I just have a weird feeling as we have no answer to teams parking the bus when Cesc is not available.
If we do manage to beat the lesser teams we’ll win it. Problem is, I’m not so sure we will.
@Snir: welcome down to earth, no game is granted for anyone. Where would be the fun otherwise?
Anyway I for one am not too happy about Lehman’s return. Not only because he is totally past it, his last half-decent season was in 2004-05 when he fucked up the CL for us but the worse part is that he is totally disruptive and hates Almunia with a passion. Almunia had two excellent games so far and he seems fired up, the last thing we need is that crazy has-been playing mind games with him.
Of course it’s an amazingly unlucky situation to have our No1, 2 and 4 keepers (Fab, Woj and Manny) injured at the same time and it calls for drastic action but at this point I’d rather have James Shea (our promising 20yo reserves GK) than the raving lunatic.
And I’ll have a glass of Riesling on Harsha’s tab.
Let’s not hold anything back now, our only option is onwards and upwards.
http://www.premierleague.com/page/FormGuide
We haven’t become a bad team overnight just because we lost the two toughest fixtures you can get in two competitions. Win tomorrow and we have two weeks to regroup for the run-in.
Matt: I disagree re: Lehmann. Unless Shea has improved a lot in the past year, I would not want to see him play for the first team. I have seen him a few times in the reserves and judging from that he is nowhere near good enough for the Premier League.
Also note that Lehmann, in the best-case scenario, will only have to be on the bench for two games. If the four-to-six-weeks prognosis on Szczesny is accurate, he may very well be back for Blackpool away because that will be five weeks from the Barca game – hell, if we are really lucky (yeah, right…) then the only game in which Lehmann will have to be on the bench is the one on Saturday.
Charlie, I’m glad to see us in first position in the premier league form guide, but are those red, yellow and green shapes supposed to be parked buses or is that my imagination getting away with me?
My reaction to Lawro’s criticism of Fabregas was the same as yours, midas. I think he is an excellent captain based on his performances, and there is no better case in point than last year against the Spuds when he took the ball straight from the kickoff to score our second goal in 15 seconds and killing off the game singlehandedly.
Afternoon ‘Holics!
Lars,
Love your optimisim re: Wojciech’s return. I have a feeling it might be overly optimistic and we might have to consider him gone for the season but let’s see and I’ll share a drink with you for his early return.
Good couple of paras on ACLF this morning which I thought worthy of a re-print before all the NegaHolics return from waiting in the wings after our next result that isn’t a resounding victory…
“….I wonder if it’s the lily-livered section of supporters who are chokers and bottlers. They moan about not winning anything for 6 years yet don’t want to carry the team across the finishing line.
Of course, we’ll hear that it’s their God given right to have an opinion and to criticise where valid. A sign of maturity is knowing when and where to criticise, knowing when to fall in line and back the team to the hilt. If criticism is not constructive, it becomes venomous and consumes us.
Yes, the team has fallen short in the last fortnight, but it’s time for all of us to unscrew the damn pooch and bring the cup home….”
Barman? if you’re there a drink for all in the bar and one for your good self. I’ll have a pint of Fosters, the Carling seems to have lost its taste 😉
COYRRRs!
The Champions league semi-final are the week before, and the week after the Manure game. I never thought there would ever be any circumstances, even in the history of the universe, where I would want United to win a champions league quarter final.
Long night of Guinness in honour of my son (named after PV4) yesterday. As Holic has rightly pointed out to me, I missed out the whiskey. Maybe this neglect is the reason for the *boilk* I have today?!
As such I can’t get excited about tomorrow until tomorrow.
Zico, TS, Lars, Harsha…. budge up in that there carriage.
Plenty of room up here Catalan.
If you look like you are going to throw up ask TS to open the window or the medicine cabinet (its your choice) 😉
And as things start to improve, the Chavs and the Mancs get to play each other another twice – that’s got to be good news for us, right?
PS – welcome Patrick Catalan!
Paddy C eh? I didn’t realise that there was Celtic blood running through those cultured veins Dr. C.
Despite being a father of two I’m useless at dealing with Uncles Ralph & Huey so am going to slope my shoulders and put Zico back on vom duty. OK Zico?
Plenty of room up here and I’ll get a supply of sick-bags out from the medicine cabinet for you just in case.
West Brom has become yet another ‘massif game innit?’ The Storey son and I are both hoping for the best but we won’t be saying ‘season over’ if we don’t win.
Settlers and Pepto-Bismol all round?
PS: I’m definitely wanting Chelsea to beat Manure thrice with plenty of injuries along the way (nothing serious mind but just enough to finish the season).
Such an exalted position in life – holder of the sick bag!
Cheers True Storey.
….. Er, my mistake Dr.C, I see your son was named after Mr. Viera. Just ignore….
Is it any more glam than being the supplier of the sick bags?
Cheers yourself 😉
As apposed to filler of the sickbags?
Holder, supplier, filler. We all have our uses in life H2H. I know my place…
I’m quite surprised no one has commented (apart from Harsha) to my #115 comment.
Am I really the only one going crazy from that?!
SG # 115 re medical staff.
There are 5 stages in the Kubler Ross model.
Denial.
Anger.
Bargaining.
Depression.
Acceptance.
You are at number 2. I think a lot in the bar have reached 4 or 5.
Actually, you could add 6, suicidal. I think I’m pretty close to 6 🙂
Heh. Stone Roses..
Don’t worry Zico – I’m a good shot when necessary!
PS – Paddy is the 3 year old…. the next two were girls!
@Snir: “For Vermaelen the season is over,” Wenger said.
“In fairness he has not played since September, I never expected him to be fit before the end of the season.”
Yeah at this point in time I can see why Wenger doesn’t expect TV to be fit before the end of the season. There’s no need to twist AW’s word to make it sound like that was the case before recently.
@Lars: Can’t see how Lehmann today is better than Shea. He hasn’t played nor trained for an entire season and he was dreadful in the last 2 seasons before. Anyway it’s done and he’s making the right noises for now.
Hopefully you’re right about Woj too.
BTW did you see Loris yesterday? Without him Lyon would have been 10 down.
AW should have upgraded at the CB position during the window Snir. That’s my comment. I’m still pissed off about it and about to wet my whistle.
On a positive note ‘holics, del Bosque did not select Cesc for their two upcoming Euro qualifiers. I suppose an injured fella can’t get injured that way. That’s positive right? 🙂
I second the high rating for Lloris. Anyone who doesn’t think he is a world class keeper needs to visit our medicine cabinet. That being said, Szczesny is a keeper of a keeper imho.
Matt, unfortunately I didn’t apart from about five minutes or something at the end. I got home quite late from a meeting and the game was all but over by then.
What’s the ETA of the preview ‘holic? How was your St. Paddy’s Day btw?