Guest Post – Dr Faustus On Arsenal’s win against MLS All Stars.
Jul 30th, 2016 by 'holic
Unable to catch the action due to an obscenely early start to my golfing Friday, I am so grateful for one of ours, Dr Faustus for sharing a unique look at Arsenal’s win against the MLS All-Stars. I owe you, my friend. Thank you.
The year is 2070. There is a football match being held in recently colonized Europa, Jupiter’s moon. The mighty Arsenal Earth Super FC — reigning champions of the interplanetary champions league — is playing an exhibition match against Generation After Corporation Athletic Club (or, as they are popularly known, GACAC), a somewhat mysterious sporting organization owned by a powerful conglomerate of businessmen controlling much of the galaxy’s water sources. They are also accused of devious biological experiments. It is 238th earth minutes of the match, Arsenal is winning 49-47, and the opposition makes a substitution that sends a visible ripple of fear in the Arsenal side. A nonagenarian Didier Drogba enters amidst huge fanfare in the opposition camp, and in the remaining 12 minutes goes on to score 4 goals to inflict misery on the mighty Arsenal, taking his career total against the Gunners to 4587.
I wake up from my dream with my head nestled between the MacBook and a bunch of loose sheets containing hastily scribbled notes of yesterday’s Arsenal game against MLS (that is, Major League Soccer, the primary “Football” league in USA) All-Star team. It is past 2 AM, and I realize I must have fallen asleep while trying to organize the notes — taken while watching the match on the TV — to be able to give a structure and coherence to the match report that can at least pretend to bear a family resemblance to the incisive and immensely enjoyable match reports that the maestro churns out on a regular basis, twice a week or more.
Respect for ‘Holic increased by a few orders of magnitude, I finally start writing this report. Before the game started at 8PM Eastern US time, for half an hour we were subjected to much passionate discussions about the fortunes of individuals and clubs in the American league and the logistics of choosing the MLS all-star team that this American found no interest in. Apologies to MLS followers. The MLS all-star line up on the other hand didn’t disappoint, with two of my favorites from the past decade in Pirlo and David Villa appearing, both now plying their trade for New York City FC who are being managed to the top of the league by one Patrick Vieira. And then there was of course the great Arsenal fan Drogba, who never lets go an opportunity to show how much he loves the club.
Our starting line up was somewhat predictable except for the youthful pairing of Holding & Bielik as the central defensive duo. Chambers was obviously being kept for the second half. To lend defensive solidity the base of the midfield had dual pivote of Elneny and Coquelin, Jack being the advanced midfielder. The interchangeable front line had pace and no little trickery in Ox, Theo and Joel. The second choice fullbacks started the game but the relatively weak looking defense received some boost from our acting captain in Petr Cech who was vocal throughput and in excellent shape by the evidence of his performance.
In the scorching heat — 84 degrees Fahrenheit in US, 28.9 degrees Celsius in the rest of the world — our forward three started with sharp movements off the ball and some quick interchanges. Ox, who will become increasingly confident as the match progressed, set up Theo following some good movements by the latter but our no. 9 for the night shot outside under pressure. Just a few minutes later Campbell’s close control in tight space and intelligent use of the ball drew a foul. Theo’s smart free-kick — drilled low and kept on the ground — was saved equally smartly by All-star’s Jamaican goalkeeper Blake who based on today’s performance may find admirers on the other side of the Atlantic sometimes soon.
Pirlo and Kaka were not afforded much time on the ball by the energetic duo of Coquelin and Elneny. The Egyptian especially kept on getting better as the match progressed, covering all empty pockets of space with authority and guile, keeping our forward movements fluid with sharp passing. But Pirlo produced a moment of typical Pirlo-esque magic, quickly dropping very deep and then releasing Dos Santos (yes, ex-Spurs) with a magnificent through ball. Cech made a brilliant save.
Around 9th minute Campbell earned a penalty by craftily exploiting the hint of a misunderstanding between the opposition keeper and the last defender, chasing a lofted pass from Gibbs to get around the keeper only to be dragged on the floor by the defender. Joel took the penalty himself — if this was not a pre-season friendly he would most likely not have been afforded that luxury — and despite a ridiculous shuffling to his run up had the ball in the back of the net. Then him and Coquelin danced a little jig which the Liverpool fans should do well to look up on the internet, used as they are to the post-goal celebrations of such balletic grace by Sturridge et al.
After the goal Arsenal players quite intelligently sat back and tried to hit the MLS stars on the counter and in that 10 odd minutes passage of play we should have scored at least one more goal. Campbell set Theo up with an Ozil-esque through ball. And a few minutes later following good defensive work by Ox Theo went on an impressive solo run but at the very end he failed to square to Joel who was facing an open goal, choosing to shoot tamely at the keeper. Theo’s off-the-ball movement was superb in both cases, but technical quality with ball on the feet questionable.
The strength-sapping heat now had started to take its toll on the proceedings, which was turning lugubrious and purposeless. Kaka and Villa created few moments of anxiety in the Arsenal defense, Debuchy particularly looking vulnerable and not offering young Holding much protection. Bielik on the other hand started to grow, with some confident playing from the back showcasing his composure on the ball. He stood up well to the physical challenge that Drogba possesses even at the autumn of his career. In between there were some snippets of good play by Arsneal, Jack slowly coming to his own and combining well with Campbell and Theo on a couple of occasions. Ox and Elneny both tried their luck from distance. Elneny’s impressive pile driver was saved superbly by the Jamaican Blake. Theo, Ox, Cambell switched around their positions and Campbell moving in centrally robbed Kaka, dribbled through a couple of players but his final pass to Theo was a little short.
There was a water break around 34th minute. Coquelin was temporarily injured in a manner reminiscent of so many Arsenal injuries of the past. But thankfully he recovered soon and joined the proceedings. Then just before the halfway mark the most expected thing about this game materialized.
Drogba scored. It was from a mistake by Bielik whose willingness to take risks to make quick forward passes from the deep backfired and from the resulting attack Drogba scored after three attempts, even after a great save by Cech and a block by Holding. Our goalkeeper captain was furious to concede against his old team-mate. Bielik’s expression after the goal told you that this is a player who is going to learn from this experience. Except for this mistake I thought his performance in the center of the defense was accomplished and full of natural technical quality. He is definitely not ready for a first team role yet but I think as a defensive midfielder or even as a ball-playing modern central defender he has great promise.
On the first half’s showing Elneny was my man of the match, closely followed by Ox and Joel. Ox was full of vim and vigor, whereas Joel was more sly but had some wonderful moments on the ball, demonstrating both technical quality and a pleasantly surprising understanding of space and angles. Someone has been learning from Mesut the maestro on the training ground.
Second half started with five substitutions from us: Xhaka, Monreal, Bellerin, Chambers and Iwobi coming in for Coquelin, Gibbs, Debuchy, Bielik and Jack. MLS All-stars made a whole lot more substitutions, Pirlo and Villa even leaving the ground to hurriedly catch flights back to the East Coast to be able to play for their club on Saturday. The notable introduction was that of Giovinco, the ex-Juve and Italian center forward who has apparently been scoring for fun in MLS. MLS started with high tempo, forcing Cech to an early save. Theo, Joel and Ox stayed on, one wonders whether the implications are that is likely to be our front three in the first few matches absence of any new signings before that. Ox started where he left off, some impressive wing play down the right followed by a cut-back that unfortunately was meant for Aaron Ramsey driving in from the midfield.
Xhaka started by keeping things simple, with a quiet positional maturity and simple short passing. He burst onto life around 69th minute with a spectacular left-footed attempt from around 35 yards. Soon after that his passing range and a genuinely impressive left foot from dead ball situations were on display. Whisper it slowly, we may have found a deep lying midfield player who could be a combination of the best qualities of Coquelin and Arteta. In the defense Chambers and Holding were handling Giovinco’s crafty movements and turns well enough, Holding especially growing in confidence with the familiar face of Chambers next to him. While Bellerin looked a little rusty Monreal appeared to be simply continuing from last season. On the left Campbell and Iwobi combined very well with him a couple of times.
59 Responses to “Guest Post – Dr Faustus On Arsenal’s win against MLS All Stars.”
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dr faustus, nicely done. santi was there, i saw pictures taken by other gooners in our club, but he was never on the pitch warming up. we were all disappointed.
elneney was close to motm 1st half, though i thought the ox was marginally better (even though he faded). granit in the second half, no question 🙂
well posted!
You have just about everything nicely covered, Dr F, congrats.
I was left thinking we’ve scored a blinder with Xhaka, brimming with confidence in DMF and with a cannonball shot reminiscent of Thomas Vermaelen back when I thought he might have made a decent DMF. And Bielik looked really promising, just needs more experience which he will hopefully get in cup matches. Both look nailed-on long-term team members.
Jack also showed his class, without risking injury thankfully.
Theo was played out of position again, so his speed and positioning play were largely irrelevant. Nor was he as well served as he would have been by the missing players. That first through ball from Ox, for example, was too short causing Theo to turn back for it and end up surrounded by three MLS defenders. Had it been hit harder (as Özilla would have played the same ball) it would have split the defence leaving Theo to run on to it one on one with the keeper (albeit on his left side).
But an altogether entertaining game with a plethora of young gunners all looking good at times. I just wonder how many of them will manage to displace the current squad before ending up on loan and out of mind.
Santi Cazorla better not be injured it would only be too typical so best not to even suggest any such possibility. Well done, Dr. Faustus. Not sure about the first paragraph in italics though. 😀
Nicely written, Dr. F.
The surprise player for me was Holding. Against Villa, Dos Santos, and Drogba, all quality players, I thought he held his own quite nicely especially for 2.5mil quid and 21 yo. Xhaka played very well in the second half, which I would expect of a 35mil player. I look forward to seeing how he plays when the first team is on the pitch.
Overall a good match by Arsenal against a decent group of MLS players.
I’m with Chris is wondering which of the young players might find some regular playing time, following in the footsteps of Bellerin and Iwobi.
Very good read Docfaust!
XHaka reminds me of ….Alonso.
Holding looks like he could start regularly if he keeps performing like he did!
😀
Nice one, Dr F.
Encouraging to read of some encouraging signs for the new season, too.
Might Holding turn out to be as good as Stones? And a comparative snip at the price.
Apparently Xhaka was known in the Bundesliga as the ‘new Xabi Alonso’ 😉
Dr F,
Now that was a superb match report Sir! Well done for popping that cheery so wonderfully! Arsenal Earth Super FC vs Generation After Corporation Athletic Club! Heh! Superb!
Not a bad preseason opener that, and of our newbies thus far, Xhaka and Holding, look like real finds. Granit we know about already but Rob Holding…..well,…that looks like a real find and a half! Could our new Talent Scout poached from Leicester, Ben Wrigglesworth, have had something to do with that perhaps?! One hopes so!
Now Wenger & Gazidis, bring in three more quality first-team reinforcements (come on Arsene, pull your bloody finger out – it’s the last year of your current contract!) and we’ll be ready for the season’s off against Liverpool in exactly 2 weeks time. We want to make a very early statement of intent against our fellow title challengers, of what’s going to be the bloody hardest school year ever all round!
Lacazette or Mario Gomez or Aubameyang up front, Mustafi or Ashley Williams or Jose Fonte at the back, and Mahrez on the right ring will do us very nicely thank you! Lovely Jubbly!
Up the Arse!!!
High quality writing as always, Dr. Faustus.
It was a fabulous read!
Very good read, Dr Faustus.
I also enjoyed your reports in the last drinks, Scruzgooner, glad to see you had a cracking day. I’m still looking forward to the day I will see the Arsenal in flesh, reports like yours wet my appetitie in a very good way.
It looks like we are playing Guadalajara in about 10 hours’ time. If my fixture list hasn’t gone in the toilet.
Thanks everyone for the kind words. And most of all thanks to the maestro for the opportunity.
Bt8: We are playing them tomorrow night. Not today. No live broadcast in any US channel but next day recorded full match in Univision.
cheers, cent…it really was incredible. still buzzing, grinning like the old fool I am :). I hope you get your chance soon!
and dr Faustus @12, I have it showing here on the west coast (on Comcast) at 6 pm pdt, FS1HD (fox sports channel 1).
You are of course correct, Dr. Faustus, my fixture list did fall in the toilet. At least arsenal.com agrees with you.
Two scores of note in the Scottish League Cup
Inverness CT 7 Arbroath 0
Dundee 7 Forfar 0
Maybe Inverness or Dundee has the striker we need?
Huge thanks again to you Dr Faustus. Your updated version is now up.
Time to re-read it, all! 😉
holy fuck
that’s a tall one
.
an achievement docfau
that most gooner scribblers
can only dream of
–
the holy guest post grail
.
congratulations chief
.
.
..
although
refreshments shoulda been provided
and a base camp set up halfway through
.
how much is a corned beef sandwich and a bag o tayto ?
NOWT !
.
penny pinchers never flourish !
least of all – wordy ones
.
*girds loins for the descent *
😉
Thanks ‘Holic. The update merely fixes a few typos which I am sure the pre-update readers have already forgiven me for.
cba : Thank you. I will treat you to the most lavish dinner you want whenever we meet.
Scruz : thanks a lot. Yes, it’s on FS1HD, it wasn’t there last week in the scheduled matches. Thanks again. A 90 minutes masterclass by Santi? So love watching him play.
cheers
yer a good soul doc
but i’m a cheap tart
a stout and a scotch egg
does me rightly
(ye can still buy me them though)
🙂
.
congratulations again
‘holic’s parlour is a thing of brilliance
always clued-up and classy
always with toilet paper stuck to it’s shoe
genius from top to bottom
.
UP THE ARSENAL !
(now where’s cynic’s guest post)
a 24carat gold nailed on diamond classic t’would be
10
howdy cent
long time no see
hope yer well chief
asked before
no feckin bugger answered
lazy shites
shower o lazy shites !
.
how’s the mighty tabs and zico doing ?
(the mighty refers to both )
ye know how scottish people are !
he’ll fuckin get the hump
start roarin an shoutin
none of us will understand
and
some bambi like innocent’ll get caught in the crossfire
wi tha heid tha baw
anyhoo
if they are alive and well
i hope they’re fine and dandy
but
iffin they are a-mouldering in their graves
i will be sad
.
i’ll get over it quick enough
though
ridiculous
celebrating the quarter ton
still
🙂
chipped the keeper
yeah
ye shoulda been there
spose ye were all at the first sex pistols concert instead
yeah
i said concert
*makes raspberry noises and eff off signs*
i see ye
lurking
Electronical stuff
https://soundcloud.com/hannahpeel/allthatmatters
Pianoey version
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5BNOzGvWBIA
CBA, I’m fine, thank you sir. Very kind of you to ask.
Tabs and Zico are, to the best of my knowledge equally good.
I think most absentees are just taking a little time off to recharge ahead of the new season.
cheers cent
appreciate it
top man
The kind of report you get when you put Star Trek, Arsenal and a Particle Physicist into the Hadron Collider.
Highly original Doc – and a pleasure to read…!
Good stuff Dr F. Thanks for the report.
TTG from Previous.,
I agree completely with much of what you’ve said in relation to some transfers.
I cannot ever see Wenger spending in excess of 40m on a player like Mahrez. Its too much of a risk for player who has only one solid season behind him and one, who a year ago, you’d never have put in the same talent category as a “Sanchez” or an “Ozil”.
I do think Wenger is quite prepared to spend big money, but only on big talent, and these type of players are not readily available irrespective of his much money your prepared to throw at them.
The “Higuain” transfer for example, is utterly preposterous for a player of that age. And I think Lacazette is overrated and as usual, overpriced.
The player I’d love to see come in is Draxler. He can kick with both feet, play anywhere across the front 3, is a recognised talent and at 22, has just begun to become a regular on the German team. He’s a big talent worth spending big money on.
Super report Dr.F
Interested in your view on Bielik. He has gone under the radar but this season could be his breakthrough moment
Nice write up Doc.F.
Was the final score really 51-47 and is it true that Theo still couldn’t get on the scoresheet?
UTA.
Good read Dr F.
Off to the StubHub Center this afternoon for Arsenal’s 6PM Kick Off v Mexico’s Chivas. Have tickets in the “Arsenal end”. Should be a fun day.
I know there are tickets still available for today’s game, it’s not a Sell Out. The stadium capacity is approx 25,000. Maybe a brief summary if anything to report after the game. COYG’s
The media are saying we are after Jonny Evans for £15m; what? At a time when we’re refusing to pay more than £20m for Lacazette, that MUST be a piss-take. To my mind he’d be negative value. Jonny Evans to Arsenal, NO! NO! NO! And many more times no!
Our home, away and third kits this season rock the house in my humble opinion. Sanyo, Hector and Nacho are modeling them on the official site.
Santi not Sanyo as my spellchecker has not yet figured out. Probably wants me to buy a watch or something.
Arsene’s being naughty. Seems he was at Leicester’s initiation party to either encourage Mahrez or support PSG. Either way, Ranieri really wasn’t impressed.
It seems that a lot is going on behind the scenes and it would be good to give Wenger and the club benefit of doubt.
Dr F, top job. You did real good.
Finally, Evans please do one.
Well done, Doc Faustus. – I just finished it !
Jonny Oh Good Evans No – this can’t be real ?
Now Jonny B Good and show some loyalty to West Brom.
Please ?
Signing Evans would be a Jonny Rotten idea.
Joe (#34) … Problem with Draxler is we need a striker and there’s nothing in his record to suggest he’s the answer. Over the past 3 Bundesliga seasons he’s managed a total of just 10 goals. And his average of 4 assists a season hardly suggests much improvement to our existing plethora of midfielders. Promising, perhaps, but give me proven goal-scoring ability any day.
How is the Trevette, Trev? In the last round you mentioned you were working on the progress of a loved one. Progessing well we all hope? I have prayed to the great god of cricket (my religion) for a healthy career with heaps of runs on the board.
We don’t need Mahrez, we have the Qx!
Great goal.
We don’t need Lacazette, we have Akpom. Right?
0-3 60 minutes in. In second half, Ox with a solid solo effort, and Chuba adds to his account. Third Arsenal strip is hard on the eyes (dayglo yellow piping and socks).
We do need Lacazette and Mahrez but we don’t need a Central Defender. Debuchy can be moved there (he’s capable enough to learn and play that position leaving Bellerin and Jenkison to the right back slot) and there’s both Holding and Chambers too to cover with Kos, Gabriel and Bielik.
Elneny bossing the midfield; strength, and he can hammer a shot. In those matches that require it, will be great to have him and Xhaka taking charge. Will miss him when African nations cup hits in January.
Dapper Dan, Debuchy is being given a thorough and I imagine painful probe. He’s in danger of losing the plot. Like him, he’s a bit of a bastard.
We surely need a central defender the most from what we’ve seen from Chambers, Holding and Bielik at different times this morning. An experienced head that would come in and overlook the development of three very talented but inexperienced young central defenders.
Standout performer for me was Xhaka. With his precise passing and penchant for sticking a boot in, he ran the midfield in conjunction with twinkle toed Santi who seems to be fit.
Akpom will be a good backup to the back up striker and the Ox is gradually showing his true qualities, scaring the shit out of opposing defenders who happen to face him.
Of Chambers Holding and Bielik each committed at least two high profile blunders in their time on the pitch. They need to learn from a grizzled pro and Johnny Evans to look a bit interesting now. Just saying.
For one thing, AW would probably have an egg picking a midfield for any game. I dare say we have the best midfielders in the league.
On the Johnny Evans thing, I think he could be helpful as a backup to Kos and Gab and as a coach to the raw but supremely gifted young CB’s we seem to possess now.
Iwobi, Ox, Sanchez, Campbell, hell even Walcott and that dangerous teen who is beginning to catch the eye(Willock)seem to be too many for two wing slots. Do we honestly need Mahrez?
Speaking of CDs, it appears that Fonte is being shopped around, and for less than Jonny Evans.
Any takers?
Just got back from the Arsenal game v Chivas. Bought the third strip shirt for my son. Great looking 3rd kit btw.
Santi looked a little rusty but so great to see him back, a couple more games and he’ll soon be back to his best. Xhaha looks like a proper MF player. He ain’t afraid to leave a boot in either. He will receive a lot of yellow cards this season and red too I’m sure. Along with his 1st half MF partner, Le Coq, they looked like we won’t be bullied in MF this season.
Despite some basic mistakes, I think Bielek and Holding have good futures ahead of them.
As a team today we had a few big lads out there, a slightly different look than our usually “lightweight” teams that often turn up. A very pleasant surprise.
The Ox looked sharp and scored a brilliant goal.
On today’s showing, Walcott and Debuchy have no future at Arsenal. Walcott wasn’t in the game at all and Debuchy looks to have lost a bit of pace.
Ozil was present and in street clothes and came over to the Arsenal end at the completion of the first half, taking pix and signing autographs.
Wenger was given a good reception too. He acknowledged the reception and waved at the fans several times.
Jack wasn’t in the squad, but was on the sidelines. His body language walking on and off the field didn’t look good. He barely acknowledged the fans.
We do now have a very solid MF plus a very talented group of players.
Let’s hope we make a go if it this season. A thoroughly fun day.
It’s been good this summer, not to hear Wenger say: “No, we are not on the case” Although, he is still saying “We are not close” 😆
We have the best midfield in the league irrespective of pogba to united. That was never in doubt, it is the cb/striker and dare i say the right wing that needs immediate attention. I know a lot will say why right wing but can ox be the one who can hold on his own an entire season there? I have my doubts, no not the ability part, more so the what to do when in possession part.
Cb we should go for over the odds to buy any names mentioned, Schar, mustafi, Ashley Williams anyone but Evans. Strikers are few and far between and i still think instead of lacazette and for that kind of money, a cheaper and a better alternative will be chicharito.
On to 2 more games before the season starts and are we prepared? City game should tell us a bit but news of jack being injured again and santi not fully match fit, does not instill the confidence needed. Remember we cannot afford a slow start. Come on Arsene, it is getting late now.
bernard, glad you got to go. wasn’t it a hoot? was the arsenal fan section the one behind the 2-goal goal? i wonder that jack and theo aren’t gone…though i’d hate it on both accounts to see them against us (motivation, etc.).
i watched this game last night, and agree re holding, chambers, and bielek; their mistakes would have been punished against better teams. otherwise both holding and bielek look the rough, real deal. two more years for both and i can see them being solid backups…this year? maybe not.
i thought le coq was lucky not to see a second yellow for some of his tackles, and otherwise he was fairly all over the place. granit looked great, though his tendency to go to ground could come back and haunt us.
still can’t make up my mind if i liked chambo’s goal or chuba’s better (leaning towards chuba’s)…
Finally >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>