Unlucky Thirteen? Seventh Heaven? Or Twenty’s Plenty?
May 13th, 2016 by 'holic
…hereโs to the first three points of the season, please. Should they be gained we have a base on which to build. Damn you hope, this is your time.
So I previewed the opening match of the 2015/16 season. We didn’t get the three points. Here we are readying ourselves for the last match of the season. Damn you hope, indeed.
A funny old season draws to a close with the title secured and relegation resolved. The only places up for grabs are the European qualifying places. The neighbours require a point at relegated Newcastle to ward off the hilarious last day humiliation of being overhauled by us. We need a point to ensure third place and automatic Champions League group stage qualification. Below us, well, who who among us really cares about the fights for the minor placings?
We can’t pretend it has been a lot of fun. Rarely has the free-flowing Arsenal turned up and again long-term injuries have had an impact, making the failure to strengthen the squad further last summer a gamble that failed. Perhaps the post-mortem would be best left until next week once we have digested what happens this weekend. Damn you hope, second place would be pant-wettingly funny, but with both us and the neighbours playing relegated clubs it would be a surprise for our current places to be traded.
Aston Villa arrive at the Grove an absolute shambles of a club, so what’s the betting that they show the fight and ability that has not been in evidence in their previous 37 matches? They have won three, yes three, Premier League matches all season. They were three points ahead of us on the opening day of the season after a single goal triumph at Bournemouth. They next defeated Palace and Norwich at home in January and February respectively. What has happened there is another warning about what can happen to a club when the owner/s withdraw their investment.
As for Arsenal, well, we didn’t have a fully fit squad for long. A week in fact. Danny Welbeck and Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain have suffered the heartbreak of missing out on the Euros. Arsene Wenger also suggested that Mathieu Flamini has an ankle problem that could prevent him pulling on a Gunners shirt for the last time. Mikel Arteta and Tomas Rosicky will be hoping for one last call. We signed Mikel years after we should have pounced for his services, but he has earned our thanks and who knows, he may be back one day in a coaching role, or more?
Personally, I hope Tomas gets a last performance in front of the supporters who have seen what a footballer he truly was, only for the endless run of injuries to deny us his services too often. With him in midfield we were always more dynamic, quick to counter, and he lifted those around him with his enthusiasm, his positivity, and his goals. Should he be given even a cameo on Sunday I’m sure the reception he will get will match those afforded to Arsenal’s finest and most loyal servants.
The ‘holic pound
I asked earlier what’s the betting on Villa, and it’s a first for me. I cannot remember a Premier League club being quoted at 20/1 to win a match. In a two horse race I’m sure some may be tempted to punt a pound or two to counter a hefty bet on the Gunners, who are 1/6 at best.
We might as well throw a hail Mary on Sunday. Should the neighbours draw at Newcastle we only need a thirteen goal triumph to pass them. Hang on.
Back again. There are no fairies at the bottom of the garden. But Villa really should be convincingly beaten, right? And a decent return requires a big win on the correct score markets. It is shameful that the best price available on 5-0 is 16/1. Arsenal have scored five in a match just once this season. Ironically away to Leicester City, damn them! So I am looking at a scoreline we used to get towards the end of the seasons when we played with a swagger. I’m having a very modest few groats on 7-0 at 70/1. Don’t join me.
As it is a Sunday kick-off, and there is the remote possibility of a bit of a party afterwards if the Geordies bow out in style, there will be no match report until Monday when I have booked a hangover holiday. Those who are going I will see many of you in the usual place I hope. We may be glad this season is ending but you are missed in the summer months, believe me (unless we go to the cricket together, obviously!).
As for the rest of you ‘holics, have a great one.
80 Responses to “Unlucky Thirteen? Seventh Heaven? Or Twenty’s Plenty?”
Ahoy!
Well said Guv’nor!
Oh – and can I claim last first drink, if that’s not the ultimate oxymoron!
That you can sir. See you Sunday ๐
Phil the Greek can fuck right off
You’ll be missed, loads.
No women’s FA Cup Final preview? For shame!
๐
Sad to see the season go, even if it was a fucker.
Rosicky and Cazorla have probably been my two favorite players of the last ten years. Both of them exude spirit in abundance, whenever they enter the field of play. Arsenal will be the worse without Tomas so I want to see him play tomorrow and I want to see the fans appreciate him.
And thanks, ‘holic, for another wonderful match preview. ๐
Good point Cynic- good luck girls! We made Wembley this season !
Lovely preview Holic. I would love it, just love it if we beat them those tiny Totts. Who knows with their ability to muck up.
COYG
4-0 to us I suspect- Hat- trick Giroud!
Great point Cynic. If only it were next week. ๐ Maybe there will be something tomorrow? ๐
Theo plays, Theo scores twice, Theo goes to Euros, Theo does his thigh and groin and hip, Theo spends the season out but comes back like a new signing in April, Theo scores goals, Theo stays, Wenger goes, new manager loves Theo, Theo stays for he rest of his career, Theo spends most of his time injured and doing ads for Paddy Power, Theo retires in 2021.
Theo is Arsenal manager in 2023.
Keep smiling chaps.
Giroud ?
aaaaahhhh
god love his wee cotton socks
https://www.youtube.com/#/watch?v=TCrl29D38MU
Cynic. Holy crap but that’s a morbid imagination!
Gonna miss Tomas Rosicky. One helluva footballer.
A man less addled by the Irish cockle warmer would have done the FA Cup tonight and the Villa preview tomorrow, but you can’t have everything in life, and it’s greedy to expect too much.
Some have to have chocolate HobNobs, others get by with plain.
And this particular plain HobNob is tasty enough on a (sort of) daily basis, no matter how bad things get on the pitch.
I’d raise a glass but I had a strong shandy this afternoon and it fair did me in ๐
Bed time.
I leave you with this
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=azpkSuDW9C0
?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qghZDmtW9NY
couple or three might pass fer geography teachers
still bought it
mind
sorry
should be posting some misty eyed end of season shite
nope
that ain’t happening
7-0 is what we should win by, ‘holic. I’ll be happy if we’re spared the embarrassment of a draw … or worse.
And delighted if we’re favoured with a final outing for TR7. What a lovely player to watch in full flight. I still remember his first goal for us and all it promised way back when. Rozlouฤenรญ Little Mozart!
great player shite car
TR5 he woulda been gilt edged
Oh the fickle fools
an i pity dem fool
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YUvHBirr1PI
??????
https://www.youtube.com/#/watch?v=yeZHB3ozglQ
???????????????
HEY BO DIDDLEY
HEY BO DIDDLEY
You can’t judge an apple by lookin’ at the tree
You can’t judge honey by lookin’ at the bee
You can’t judge a daughter by lookin’ at the mother
You can’t judge a book by lookin’ at the cover
Oh, can’t you see — whoa, you’ve misjudged me
I look like a farmer but I’m a lover
You can’t judge a book by lookin’ at the cover
cba,
Great link @20. Not sure how Little Richard in 2012 could look or sound so young but quite remarkable.
https://www.youtube.com/#/watch?v=JUGOQQE2MhE
genius
bt8
if you are The King of Rock ‘n’ Roll
you can do anything
ooooooOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH MY SOUL !!!!!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0YE9Kthyaco
the ‘holic bouncers
lax on their do hickeys or dads
but
HEY
let’s enjoy
Jimmy Reed
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J5o6t4fNDi4
the most bestest slamminest yes’ts blues man
of ALLLLL time
.
AN THAT’S MA RULIN’ !
as shucks
ingrates
https://www.youtube.com/#/watch?v=EDY9awmmWtA
yeah
and the conspiracy starts
just had icke on the phone
but if he is willing to accept
i shoulda typed
“AW” instead of “as”
FUCK OFF YA FUCKIN SHOWER !
of
assorted SHITES
Snargin’ funklurglars !!!!
as always
my name is not cba
if you can’t call me by my proper name
FUCK OFF
*in floods of imaginary tears*
i should flounce off !
were i capable
wi my afflictions
shower o bullying bastards !
might try a sashay though
CUNTS THE LOTTA YE
not that i’d get far
place is a fuckin zoo
bitta decent weather
there’s all fuckin sorts o beetles
out struttin’ their fuckin stuff
john wayne coulda saddled the cunt I just battered
gimme dogs and cattle
at least ye fuckin know where ye are
.
oh
and
“ALAN SUNDERLAND – unbelievable
who’d a thunk it ”
lest my goonerholic keyfob runs outta gargle
when i take to the fuckin bed
ya cromwellian shower !
35
36
37
39
just for the yanks ?
40
indeed I was
many years ago
43
all the fours
45
i’m fillin’ up here
47
48
49
*half ton relax*
i’d try to make it to the ton
but Vinay would just oblivious ly
sort out The Arsenal at 99
and ruin it
?
see ye in a couple o weeks
cheerio
TR7. What a player. When he signed I got the same goosebumps as DB10. For me the saddest waste of a player’s prime years. If he’d stayed fit, I’m pretty sure we’d be working out where to put his statue around about now. Happy to be taking my kids for their first game tomorrow, and hope they get a chance to see him for a first and last time.
And of course
Let’s not forget AR16
or AK47
We all remember the first time
*fills up*
That was quite a number you pulled there, cba ๐
i aimed to please
ned
Bullseye, cba.
stay out of the black
and in the red
nothing in this game
for two in a bed
ned
*parks speedboat in backyard*
Had high hopes for SA80 at one point, Mr Arsed, but they were false.
a definite cheerio now
bye bye
.
UP THE ARSENAL
aaaahhhhhh howdy cynic
ye schnuck in there when i was near off
slรกinte chief
.
cheerio for real
?
Nice preview Guvna.
In truth it is unlikely to happen given the way the chips have fallen this season, not to mention the utter ineptitude of the Magpies, but it would be sidesplittingly hilarious if we were to overtake the Marshdwellers tomorrow.
Hoping for a fine victory to put a cap on this strange season and an opportunity to toast that victory at the usual place tomorrow.
Post-mortems can be put on hold for the time being but this one will be a belter.
Hi and bye cba!
We’ve been cba’d! ๐
The links that worked for me were some absolute crackers young man.
Morning Cynic, bath, Ned et al.
Let’s cheer on those Ladies, for whom a report may appear later. Everything crossed.
If they lose don’t do one and we can pretend it never happened.
Cheers Holic – thanks for another tip-top preview. And a special thanks to ye man in Donegal…a belter of a cba-athon.
Hoping for a bang-athon of goals tomorrow to end an uninspiring season on a high note. Should the Toon do the unexpected and get 3 pts against the Spuds, then the merriment will be the best consolation prize on offer.
All those off to the TNHF tomorrow hope the game and the craic afterwards in the Tolly are up to speed – have a great time, you all deserve it.
COYRRR
Afternoon, Guv’nor.
Just heard a clip on the wireless of an interview with the Romford Pele about his new autobiography. He told a story of being chased round London Colney by Tony Adams after performing the apprentices’ Christmas ritual of singing a song to the first team. Ray had chosen to sing ‘Little Donkey’.
Busy overnight in here I see.
Jimmy Reed a revelaiton for me. Must have been a left winger. ๐
Exactly that Cynic…
I’m reading the Romford Pele at the moment. It’s a pleasant read but you do wonder how we put out a team sometimes in George Graham’s time as Manager. They were all on the piss with a vengeance!
I heard Terry was offered one more year….to play on the women’s team
Any excuse to use this again
http://i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/01290/john-terry-transex_1290324c.jpg
Suck it up Chelsea you were outclassed!
Well done Arsenal.Brilliant gegenpressing by the ladies. If the men had played with that passion we’d have won the League!
Well played Arsenal ladies !
We won the women’s FA Cup!!!
Yup
http://i3.mirror.co.uk/incoming/article7968633.ece/ALTERNATES/s1227b/Womens-FA-Cup-Final-Arsenal-Ladies-v-Chelsea-Ladies.jpg
Have an FA Cup Final win report…. >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>