Oh Dear Mrs Cole
Oct 4th, 2007 by 'holic
I am deeply indebted to the Daily Mirror for some insightful reporting into Chelsea’s Champions League clash at Valencia.
Strangely, apart from the result, I am unable to fully grasp the nature of the Chelsea performance. I am however treated to the views of Mrs Cheryl Cole, and what an indictment of the education system they are!
Asked if Cole, 26, misses the Gunners, she said: “Not any more, he loves it at Chelsea now. It got to the stage at Arsenal where he couldn’t even have a conversation in the dressing room because nobody spoke English.
“He started getting paranoid because he had no idea if they were talking about him, or what was going on, whereas at Chelsea he has John Terry and Frank Lampard and he gets on brilliantly with them.”
Well, I can help out there sweetheart. Every time he heard “J’ai failli dévier de la route”, that was just the French lads chuckling amongst themselves about his driving skills.
“Haben Sie gehört, dass Cheryl singt? Sie ist schrecklich..” was merely mad Jens way of complimenting Mrs Cole on her singing ability.
And when Justin Hoyte asked “You still here, you second rate piece of shit?” I’m sure he was really saying something very complimentary in a modern inner-city dialect.
Come to think of it, I’d like to hear the views of the rest of the Chelsea changing room on the article. Like good old Sid Cech, Bert Belletti, Malcolm Makelele, Colin Carvalho, Sean O’Shevchenko, and my favourite pie and mash eating homegrown star, Derek Drogba.
Just when you thought you couldn’t think less of Cole…
7 Responses to “Oh Dear Mrs Cole”
What a ratfucker.
i’m happy for ashley that he’s finally comfortable in a less cosmopolitan team at chelsea, although, had he made his dream move to real madrid he would have been working with salt of the earth, bonafide, his sort of people, londoners with broad cock-a-nay accents.
i wonder if he’s started putting his bluetooth headset up his bum yet?
Lets be honest the only reason arsely cole left was because Toure was screwing cheryl because he is 10 times the geezer ashly is!!!
Can you believe it? (A rhetorical question, obviously). Dennis, Thierry, Arsene et al all speak better English than he does. Even Jose Reyes was on a par.
The reason no one in the dressing room would speak to cole was the Jenas thing. Called sleeping with the enemy.
I dont care about Ashley any more. He is history as far as the club is concerned, though his exit left a bad taste for a while.
“He went through hell, his eyes were dead until recently,” she said.
Ha .. When did he marry her ??? maybe he needs something else