Goonerholic: Eat, Sleep, Breathe, Drink, Arsenal

Ode ‘Ere, What Can The Matter Be?

Jun 30th, 2011 by 'holic

Twas the eve of July, when all through the house,
Not a creature was stirring, nor leaving the mouse.
The tabs on the browsers were studied with care,
In hopes that St Cahill soon would be there.

The faithful were seated in front of their screens,
Raising their eyebrows and venting their spleens.
Mother enquires, ‘Son what ails you so?’
‘Don’t you know we ain’t signed Gervinho?’

When over at Sky there arose such a clatter,
He sprang from News Now to see what was the matter.
Nasri and Clichy are off to the Citeh,
Our desperate plight just isn’t too pretty.

And then, as he surfed, he heard on the net,
The poaching and fawning of some Spanish get.
‘Our Cesc you know, he has Barca DNA’,
So cough up or cock off*, you dozy hombre.

Now as contracts expire, and the players return,
It’s time now for Ivan, his salary to earn,
We’re not buying, nor selling, it’s going too slow,
Come on Mister Kroenke, start spending our dough.

*With thanks to Arseblog.

(And apologies to Clement Clarke Moore)

Posted in tongue in cheek | 257 Drinks

257 Responses to “Ode ‘Ere, What Can The Matter Be?”

on 30 Jun 2011 at 9:39 pm1Trev

First and 300 on the old post.

Great, more poetry!
on 30 Jun 2011 at 9:40 pm2xyzzy

Wot, no drinks 🙁
on 30 Jun 2011 at 9:41 pm3xyzzy

Make mine a big one ;?
on 30 Jun 2011 at 9:42 pm4xyzzy

Well in Trev
on 30 Jun 2011 at 9:50 pm5Le Bob

Lovely!
on 30 Jun 2011 at 9:54 pm6Goonerholic

Well in Trev, great to see you xyzzy, and Le Bob too.

I will comment seriously when something actually happens, but for now, have a drink, breathe deeply, and relax…
on 30 Jun 2011 at 9:56 pm7john

The best I`ve read this close season
more please
on 30 Jun 2011 at 9:59 pm8Lonestar Gooner

Evening ‘Holics,

Just wanted to apologize for being caught up in twitter-rumors in yesterday’s drinks.

I’m retiring from the transfer rumor exercises for now.

Guinness, please!
on 30 Jun 2011 at 9:59 pm9Un Dave

MORE!
on 30 Jun 2011 at 10:07 pm10zicoinexile

More poetic genius, but remember the verbal flatulence that followed your last rhyme ‘Holic?

Don’t say you weren’t warned when the Dooby Brothers turn up 🙂

Anyway, if you don’t mind I’ll repost my last drink from the other page :

Latest quotes from AW a tad worrying?

“There is nothing moving yet. The period will be more active at the end of July when we will need to really strengthen the team.”

Given we have 2 extra European games immediately after the season starts, er, should we not be strengthening the team NOW, Arsene?

Smoke and mirrors?
on 30 Jun 2011 at 10:13 pm11gooneryofyore

When the transfer season is over and we are left weak you say judge the man at the end of the season, when the season is over and the transfer frenzy begins you say judge the man in august. Being an arsenal fan is living in a vicious wenger circle that will never end. We like liverpool are a thing of the past, harsh but true., no ambition anymore.
on 30 Jun 2011 at 10:14 pm12Charlie

Whether it’s tomorrow or end of July, so long as we get a few players that’s what matters. I’m sure the boss is well aware of the busy start to the season. Frankly we should get through CL qualifying anyway (and if we don’t, we’ve saved ourselves a fruitless campaign in that competition to be honest).
on 30 Jun 2011 at 10:15 pm13Charlie

As for comparing us to Liverpool, we’ve won a title or four since the days of Thatcher, give us some credit!
on 30 Jun 2011 at 10:19 pm14zicoinexile

Not sure I wholly agree Charlie – you would want new players to start bedding in as soon as pre-season training starts, so when they sign is important. IMO anyway.
on 30 Jun 2011 at 10:29 pm15And Lester

Le Prof has always had Le Plan in Le past and most of ’em have worked out well – you’ve got to believe he’s got another up his sleeve that’ll ‘ave us all going – ‘well – bloody hell!’
on 30 Jun 2011 at 10:32 pm16Lulu

Thanks ‘Holic. Put a smile on my face. 2 weeks ago I spotted both a David Villa and a Ryan Shawcross lookalike within a 500yard radius of Highbury House, and it reminded me of the impending transfer window madness that comes with the summer.

I ran the Ryan Shawcross lookalike over, just in case he was real.
on 30 Jun 2011 at 10:38 pm17takeabowson

And there i was all on my lonesome in the last round of drinks – isolation just aint the word –
on 30 Jun 2011 at 10:43 pm18takeabowson

Dr Z – last night The Chemical brothers , today The Doobie Brothers , what’s it to be ? Feeling a bit Joy Division myself , what with the Isolation an’ all .

Right now for a bit of poetry …. 🙂
on 30 Jun 2011 at 10:45 pm19behind the 8 ball but not nasri

Good one, maestro. Let’s hope were not reciting the same poem more or less this December 24 (’twas the night before Christmas …)
on 30 Jun 2011 at 10:49 pm20takeabowson

Trev … from the last round of Drinks ….

I trust you did your duty and crocked the Spud ?

My guess is E.N. for the keeper coach but you’ve stumped me on the identity of the Spud .
on 30 Jun 2011 at 10:53 pm21Goonerholic

bt8bbnn, hence the acknowledgement to Clement Clarke Moore 😉
on 30 Jun 2011 at 10:57 pm22Goonerholic

Doobies, TaBS?

Perfect accompaniment to the post. Cheers 😉
on 30 Jun 2011 at 10:58 pm23And Lester

And bt8bbnn from last drinks – Aye, to the top and maybe even a bit higher – New season optimism has kicked in and i intend to make it last as long as possible by any means necessary. Ureds!
on 30 Jun 2011 at 11:02 pm24noel73

Ha , no one is taking on the holic tonight…am twittered out, newsnowd out, arseblognewsd out..all things come to those who wait…but come on…give us a fucking tid bit ( tit bid?, tib dit? bedsit?)….anything..
on 30 Jun 2011 at 11:16 pm25Steve T

Not sure I am too convinced we do have a plan. The squad are back in training in 5 days and it all seems a bit of a shambles to me. How on earth have we allowed two first team players to reach a close season with only year left on their contracts? People are laughing at us at the moment ad I for one don’t like it. No knee jerk reaction from me but I want deals done soon. We are looking at starting the season with many changes. These changes will need time to settle in.
on 30 Jun 2011 at 11:18 pm26Trev

July the First is nearly here
And still we have done nuffin’,
If we don’t strengthen soon
This team is going to get a stuffin’.

Silent Stan, our new head man
Maintains his Silent Stance,
Let’s hope his deeds outshine his words
Before he’s lost the chance.

That Lady Nina’s not impressed,
She wants to sack the lot
Of old stuffed shirts that run the club,
What is this boardroom plot ?

Our Russki wants to run the club
But Nina sold to Stan,
As quiet inaction now sets in,
Did she choose the wrong man ?

As fans, we fund director’s plans
By paying more for tickets,
Some now so poor they hardly eat,
Half of us now have rickets.

We’ve coughed up all we can afford,
We’ve swallowed all their twaddle,
And all to fund our owner’s ‘love’,
The self-sustaining model.

We’ve kept our patience long enough,
And now the time has come,
We could afford new players now,
By getting rid of some.

We fans are broke, and tense, and stressed,
This feeling isn’t funny,
So Come on Arsenal, fingers out,
And spend some fucking money !!!
on 30 Jun 2011 at 11:21 pm27Aussie Jack

To all Arsenal `piss pots` everywhere, welcome to July 1st. We`re six hours ahead of you and I tell you categorically, you missed nothing.
on 30 Jun 2011 at 11:22 pm28Goonerholic

Nice work Trev, thanks.

I hear you Steve. I’m hoping next week sees the culmination of a lot of work that has been going on behind the scenes, because like you, I really want faces in and settled before we get anywhere near that Champions League qualifier.

As long as we balnce the departures with arrivals, I will be calm…

…-ish 😉
on 30 Jun 2011 at 11:29 pm29Trev

Cheers, ‘Holic.
on 30 Jun 2011 at 11:31 pm30Goonerholic

Direct quotes from Gervinho supporting the worst-kept secret of them all in tomorrow’s Sun.
on 30 Jun 2011 at 11:32 pm31Trev

Relax everyone – just been to arsenal.com and we appear to have signed 4 Subbuteo players. Help!
on 30 Jun 2011 at 11:34 pm32takeabowson

Twas the Eve of the season , and the panic had gone ,
Sky having fallen , and the Tabloids all wrong .
Guessing and stirring , replaced by hard facts ,
Transfers completed , without any tracks .

Fab still the Captain , and Nas still around ,
Lots of new signings , who can’t find the ground .
Great Arsene Wenger , no longer the Scrooge ,
Two centre-halves , Screaming “ Allez les Rouge “ .

Even Le Grove , have forsaken their rants ,
As Gareth the Cunt is jizzing his pants ,
Manuel and Squillaci , now Catalan ,
Mercurial Messi , a present from Stan .

You might question whether , I’ve been on the pipe ,
And that the above , is just AKB tripe ?
But mark my words , and remember these Lines ,
The future is great , I’ve seen all the Signs .
on 30 Jun 2011 at 11:40 pm33takeabowson

‘Holic @22 ,

Glad to be of assistance 🙂
on 30 Jun 2011 at 11:41 pm34Paul

Takeanexitson, you’ve seen none of the signs mate, none. Wenger is Wyle E. Coyote, it’s just a matter of time now, January, latest next summer.
on 30 Jun 2011 at 11:56 pm35Steve T

Subbuteo players? Now there’s a thought. At least they are likely to be less injury prone than some of those currently in the first team squad.
on 01 Jul 2011 at 12:10 am36Trev

Arsene is due to touch base with a couple of them tomorrow.
on 01 Jul 2011 at 12:32 am37Yogi's Warrior

Sir,

I toast your creative flow with a fine Macallan and pray we all survive this insanity which has so beset the Arsenal world. If all else fails, let’s seek solitude in a fine feast of food and drink. And not necessarily in that order.

YW
on 01 Jul 2011 at 12:53 am38Lee....

Thanks hollic you can always be relied on???
There I was in the depths of despair thinking things were @ their lowest ebb, with The Fabman & Nasri doing the long walk on us.

when I come on here, to as you said in your article “vent my spleen” & what do I find? None other than a link to the “Doobie Brothers” much happier times.

Mate not been off it for about an hour leaping from one great track to another:
Long Tran running
China Grove
Listen to the Music
Minute by Minute

Happy days!!! (That’s not a track) younger readers just a statement!!!

Oh in-keeping with the 70’s theme though I’d go with;
Light n Lager’s all round please barman……….
on 01 Jul 2011 at 1:13 am39Trev

tabs @ 20 – of course I did. Got a whole range of specially painful techniques set aside for them.

Always wear a nice white shirt with an Arsenal badge on if lots of Spuds are due in.
on 01 Jul 2011 at 1:25 am40behind the 8 ball but not nasri

Cold beer for ‘holic, Trev and tabs who must be thirsty after all this creative endeavor. Special kudos to Trev for the enhanced interrogation of Spuds.
on 01 Jul 2011 at 1:29 am41Bergkamp's The Man

Trev @ 26 – You have a future in this business! – but hold on to the day job for the moment.

Tabs @ 32 – You are talking my language!

Steve T – “The whole Barca and Cesc business I think we massively over complicate. Make it really simple for them. Tell all parties the price. Tell all that it is non negotiable. Tell all that a deal has to be concluded within 2 weeks or he remains an Arsenal player for at least 1 more season. It really is as simple as that”.

Pure poetry. Best wishes to the kids and will we see all three T’s at Emirates Cup? Is Mrs T a Gooner?

Lee @ 38 – you youngsters and your new fangled music!
on 01 Jul 2011 at 2:56 am42Highbury Spy

You’re all mad. Fiddling whilst Rome burns. Wenger is a busted flush and has been for five years. He’s stringing us all along like he has done for the last few close seasons. We will spend less than we make and turn in a net profit yet again. The club has no ambition. Anyone who believes Wenger is about to embark on a massive spending spree is living in cloud cuckoo land. Why are you all you AKB’s defending Wenger by saying the transfer window only opens on 1st July? Didn’t United sign David De Gea from Atletico Madrid three days ago? You ten year olds will say anything to justify your blind faith in Wenger. The only thing that can save our club is Usmanov taking control and Wenger being kicked out. That will happen eventually, despite all you head in the sand AKBs who love Wenger and Kroenke and are petrified of change. Arsenal are the laughing stock of world football and the more you AKBs defend everything the club and Wenger does, the louder everyone else laughs. Ferguson is a genius compared to Wenger. oh I nearly forgot, United are a billion in debt and can still spend nearly 100 million before July 1st. So much for the self sustaining model. What a load of bollocks we’re being fed. Anyone who believes a word coming out of Pravda Arsenal needs his head examining. And you stupid, pathetic, moronic, luddite AKBs don’t tell me to f*ck off and support Chelsea. I love Arsenal. You stupid AKB f*ckers are the equivalent of the idiots who went over the top in the name of their country in 1914 because the generals told you to. Think for yourself and get a life. Realise how stupid you sound. Our club is f*cked. Do something about it. Don’t come on here and write f*cking poems for f*ck sake. My head is about to explode because you’re all so f*cking pathetic.
on 01 Jul 2011 at 3:33 am43Lonestar Gooner

**Attention HT mk II passengers. Attention HT mk II passengers. Someone’s child has been left behind at the diaper station. In between sobs and shouts, he claims to be a spy…**

Chill out, dude.

We’ll see who comes. We’ll see who goes.

Have a drink and settle down.
on 01 Jul 2011 at 6:22 am44iLars

Why do all these villages keep losing track of their idiots?
on 01 Jul 2011 at 6:42 am45behind the 8 ball but not nasri

Why do all these zoos keep losing track of their hyenas?
on 01 Jul 2011 at 6:49 am46imissbergkamp

Another by-product of the Twitter madness has a breakdown!!!
on 01 Jul 2011 at 7:08 am47Steve T

Spy. We have agreed with stuff before but I must say I think you are over the top. I think we have problems as I highlighted above. But I am firmly in the let’s see what happens before judging camp at the moment. If come the 1st Sept we are short again then I will be far less than impressed. But I am prepared to wait until then before passing a final judgement.
on 01 Jul 2011 at 7:30 am48Goonerholic

One request please all. You know my stance on abusing others here. Don’t respond to the Spy in kind.

I will reply when I have some time, which will probably be tomorrow.

Spy, you know I have defended your right to your opinion before as we were at many of the same games and places over the last umpteen years.

I would ask if you want to abuse fellow Arsenal supporters that you do it somewhere other than here. Your attitude in that one post is sad to see.
on 01 Jul 2011 at 8:33 am49drapedindarkness

Well everyone knows my views on Arsene, but like others I’ll wait and see what this transfer window brings before exploding with incandescent rage, And hopefully I have always been respectful in my disagreements over how much Arsene actually knows 😉

Mr Spy please do not behave in such a churlish and childish manner, we are all culpable and capable adults with an ability for reasoned and seasoned arguments with no need for expletive filled rants at our fellow fans who I assure you all have some level of frustration with Arsenal life too.

We wait and we wonder what the window will bring
Will it make us champions and allow us to sing

Will we sit by and watch as the team departs one by one
Soon it will be us singing theres only Alex Song

But although my faith has wavered in the professor to date
I do not believe it has become far too late

We can rebuild around the real talent we have in Jackie boy
Remember the days when our teams did destroy

Outscoring all opponents and defending from the front
When Alex and fat sam were both thought of as c…..

But our glory days are not over just yet you know
Our rebuilding progress has just been too slow

But no matter what happens in the future unknown, unseen
I will not stop myself believing in the Arsenal dream
on 01 Jul 2011 at 8:36 am50Charlie

So Spy let me get this straight:

– We’re the laughing stock of world football (god knows what that makes, say, Aston Villa or River Plate then)
– Usmanov should take control
– You’re using an analogy for the current situation that involves a conflict in which millions of people died. With that much perspective you should have been an architect clearly!
on 01 Jul 2011 at 9:08 am51midas

that was brilliant holic,trev and tabs.
on 01 Jul 2011 at 9:09 am52True Storey

Morning ‘Holic & ‘Holics

Holic, you tease! Goading us into entering another flatulent rhyme fest? 😉

Spy @ #42,
Two things in brief response to your tirade:
1) Loved the opening three words – images of Peter Butterworth in Carry On Up The Khyber Pass have brought a smile to my face so thanks for that.
2) I can’t speak for others here but I am not an AKB – he’s a great man but like all of us he has his flaws. Of all the Arsenal blogs out there, this is one place where you should choose your TLAs very carefully. For the record, I am a supporter and lover of ‘by far the greatest team, the world has ever seen’.

zico @ #10 (heaven forbid!).
If tabs and I are now the Doobie Bros, does that mean you and BtM are The Proclaimers? 😉

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x1i0lw_the-proclaimers-i-would-walk-500-mi_music

Trev @ #26 & tabs @ #32,
Good fun, enjoyed both. More reasons to smile on this glorious morning.

I’m going to keep the CMC closed for a while in case we get a rush of needy patients this morning – like buses they tend to come in threes. Normal service will be resumed shortly. In the meantime, the itab of iLars is iopen. I’ll have an iGuinness please Mr.Barman.
on 01 Jul 2011 at 9:38 am53zicoinexile

I would be careful of taking on BtM, TS. Me? I’m an easy target, so bring it on. 🙂

I thought that Spy guy was supposed to be Gooner royalty? Has no chance of making the Happy Train by the sounds of things….
on 01 Jul 2011 at 10:00 am54takeabowson

Morning TS , I’ll join you in one of those iGuinness thingies . Good decision re the CMC – looks like we’re gonna need our wits about us today . 🙂

BtM@41 – If I’m truly speaking the same language as you Sir , then I am honoured .

Trev@ 39 – Good to hear and keep fighting the good fight ! Nice verse btw .

Nas and Midas – Cheers .

Draped – nice lines Sir .

Charlie – Hear , hear .

Now then TS play me some Doobie magic … 🙂
on 01 Jul 2011 at 10:00 am55True Storey

Hey zico. Not seeking to ‘take either of you on’. Simply friendly banter and retorts.
on 01 Jul 2011 at 10:06 am56zicoinexile

Of course, TS.

I hope to tell you one day (this coming season) about the time I went to a ‘Claimers gig in Manhattan – this bar was perfectly sane by comparison.

See you and your sibling have started early 😉
on 01 Jul 2011 at 10:11 am57True Storey

Doobie-do indeed tabs!

Personally, I prefer the Chem Bros but if the name fits/sticks…. 😉

Looks like our version of sanity in this bar is restoring itself so at this rate the CMC will be open again sooner rather than later.

The ‘water plus’ supply is already back on for all you ‘sippers’ out there. tabs is/are an optional extra.
on 01 Jul 2011 at 10:13 am58takeabowson

Morning Dr Z ,

How’s tricks ? Is Highbury Spy the chap from The Gooner ?
on 01 Jul 2011 at 10:14 am59takeabowson

*sip*
on 01 Jul 2011 at 10:17 am60True Storey

Indeed zico @ #56!

The ‘Claimers are a favourite of the Storey Management so look forward to hearing that tale, preferably over a real pint. Are you still aiming for The Mugsmashers @ home?

Re: siblings. When I’ve got the time, I might do a family trees thing and see if there is indeed a tabs – TS link in the dim and distant past. Trouble is, it’s prob. so far back in time that we’d be into simian territory which is only going to make me think of you know who at The LWCs and I am loathed to upset our one and only Gooner since ’54 🙂
on 01 Jul 2011 at 10:21 am61True Storey

easy tabs @ #59,

It takes a while but when it happens you’ll have IG and IPA tapping on your windows too asking you for deluxe pipes. Did they make it over last night? Were you able to supply? 🙂
on 01 Jul 2011 at 10:21 am62Clive Waterman,[ Gooner since 54 ]

Update from the Secure Unit
I am writng this in the relative safety of the lovely Cecilia’s living quarters,
I think the German Stormtrooper,Senior Nurse Schlossberg has very strong suspicions i have an electronic communications device hidden somewhere.
She has me under constant surveillance and it is getting increasingly difficult to access my laptop.
My room has been searched,and i am sure she has a snitch working in the Kitchen.
The assistant chef Julian who despite working in the kitchen is so fucking thin,he makes a matchstick look fat,has been seen in the GST’s company on several occasions,and has been overhead telling someone he would love to give Schlossy as he fondly calls her,
‘A Good Boring Out’
I have no idea what that means,i must ask Cecilia if she knows and if she has experienced it herself.
On the subject of the Vuluptuous C,she whispered in my ear after breakfast this morning,that she was going to give me and i quote,
‘ Some serious Oral Attention ‘ after lights out this evening.
Again,i have no idea what that means,perhaps she is going to talk a lot while she tucks me up in bed.
As long as it does not interfere with the daily Knee Trembler she gives me,then i don’t mind what it is.
I can hear Schlossy marching down the corridor so i will have to close now.
I will update when i get a chance.
cheers
Clive
on 01 Jul 2011 at 10:22 am63zicoinexile

Hey tabs,

I’m ok – had a rough night – kept needing a piss for some reason!!

I think the Spy writes in that Gooner fanzine yeah…watch out at the next station, we don’t want the convivial atmosphere on the HT MKii being disrupted….
on 01 Jul 2011 at 10:25 am64takeabowson

TS@61

I think we’ll find out next week ! My guess is yes … 🙂
on 01 Jul 2011 at 10:29 am65takeabowson

Dr Z , thanks for the info .

First page i turn too … he normally has a picture of a nicely endowed young lady next to his strapline … 🙂
on 01 Jul 2011 at 10:31 am66zicoinexile

TS @ 60 – depends what day the game is on for the Dirty Scouse gits….

@ Clive – I get that type of oral attention from zico Management every night 🙁
on 01 Jul 2011 at 10:36 am67takeabowson

Clive ,

🙂 🙂 More regular updates please …
on 01 Jul 2011 at 10:54 am68True Storey

To ‘His Cliveness’ @ #62

Fantastic stuff, I’ll echo tabs: keep it coming please. If you’re going to do this on a regular basis we should give a name to your ‘series’.

How about The Knee-Trembler Diaries? 🙂
on 01 Jul 2011 at 11:00 am69True Storey

tabs @ #64

OK, I’ll try to contain my excitement until then 😉

Any chance of some collaborative editorial work? 🙂
on 01 Jul 2011 at 11:11 am70takeabowson

no probs 🙂
on 01 Jul 2011 at 11:26 am71True Storey

Excellent tabs, I shall attempt contact via the ‘official back channels’.

BTA & ‘The Knee-Trembler Diaries’ or whatever His Cliveness wishes to call them – this place just keeps getting better 🙂
on 01 Jul 2011 at 1:03 pm72Camberwell Gooner

@Spy, you make some fair points but no need to abuse everyone. Respectful disagreement would give your comments a lot more credence but instead what you get is patronising remarks from the rest of the bar. Perhaps if you hadn’t gone so mental people might engage with you.
on 01 Jul 2011 at 1:09 pm73drapedindarkness

Cheers tabs mate, I’m at my usual high of one response per post…….maybe I should go mental occasionally 😛
on 01 Jul 2011 at 1:13 pm74zicoinexile

draped, pull up your chair and let me offer you a view into Pandora’s box, (the CMC)

ooh err, Pandora’s box, Pandora, TNGFS
on 01 Jul 2011 at 1:18 pm75True Storey

Draped @ #s 49 & 73,
I’ll second your post. Enjoyed the rhyme and the reason. Does this response represent a new record for you? Please pull up a chair and have a drink or, if you’re feeling brave, a sip 😉

Camberwell @ #72,
More sense in a sea of madness. Cheers.
on 01 Jul 2011 at 1:22 pm76True Storey

Ah… it appears Dr. z and I have crossed invites to pull up a chair. never mind, the sentiments remain.

Dr. z – Have you been polishing your elbows? Is the TBGFS now history?
on 01 Jul 2011 at 1:27 pm77zicoinexile

She emigrated to Carolina ’tis rumoured (South or North, who cares) – meet Pandora, The New Girl From Sainsburys…..

I’m off the water today – just trying out iGuinness on Lars iTab.

Pint for draped, Camberwell and TS please guvnor (just ordered that on my Goonerholic App)

🙂 🙂
on 01 Jul 2011 at 1:43 pm78True Storey

Cheers Dr. z. That was itasty. Please have another on my itab for a change.

Welcome Pandora! I hope she knows what she’s letting herself in for. Have you taken the time to explain The Sports Carriage to her yet???
on 01 Jul 2011 at 1:50 pm79zicoinexile

Early days TS, still observing some of the more traditional courtship rituals, like,

where to find my Emergency Cord and how to spot a LWC at a 100 paces….

to which she responded “don’t worry I’ve seen plenty of cocks in my time”. I’m sure something was lost in translation.

Cheers for the iGuinness
on 01 Jul 2011 at 1:53 pm80True Storey

Heh zico! 🙂 🙂

*sip, sip*
on 01 Jul 2011 at 1:54 pm81behind the 8 ball but not nasri

Spy, Have you considered spending some time in the friendly neighborhood secure unit? It seems to be doing Clive a world of good although he did start out, admittedly, with a quite serious case of paranoia (something most of us seem to share, I might add.) That senior nurse Schlossberg doesn’t sound quite so nice though so maybe she is the one to cure your particular ailments? 😉
on 01 Jul 2011 at 1:57 pm82True Storey

Er…..

Is there any connection between Pandora and The Voluptuous C???

Just asking 😉
on 01 Jul 2011 at 2:00 pm83zicoinexile

Not yet TS, but the Sports Carriage could get busy….
on 01 Jul 2011 at 2:01 pm84behind the 8 ball but not nasri

…And how does Lady N fit into this picture??
on 01 Jul 2011 at 2:03 pm85True Storey

nasri @ #84,

Er…. a question for my fellow Chemical/Doobie Brother I think?
on 01 Jul 2011 at 2:03 pm86Bergkamp's The Man

I used to respond to the cries of “Get Your Gooner” every time I went to the ground. I became so pissed off with SPY and his negativity I stopped spending my hard earned cash on his ramblings. Well done, SPY – some extra drinking money and one less “Gooner” on the circulation numbers. The others on that rag are as bad. Le Groan Mk II.

The Proclaimers eh?

When I lived in Auchtermuchty, three doors along lived a couple of objectionable faired haired twins. Their mum gave one a blue anorak and the other a green anorak so that they could be identified.(I often wondered if they switched their anoraks – I never found out). When I left home my ma would often phone to complain of the “racket” coming from the twins house. They’d bought guitars by then apparently. And then, amazingly, the ugly ducklings turned into well, not swans, but Proclaimers! And that’s a wee story I tell every time they’re mentioned. Catch them if you can. They’re great on stage.
on 01 Jul 2011 at 2:05 pm87True Storey

zico @ #83

‘Not yet’? Is His Cliveness aware of this development?

*starts to tread VERY carefully*
on 01 Jul 2011 at 2:08 pm88True Storey

BtM @ #86

Thanks for the anecdote. I will pass on to Storey Management. As a fan she will approve.

Care to join us for an idrink?
on 01 Jul 2011 at 2:10 pm89zicoinexile

Nope.
on 01 Jul 2011 at 2:14 pm90drapedindarkness

zico and TS my brothers, I now feel loved and my existence has meaning yayyyyyy 🙂

But I really want to see into Pandoras box very much hehehe
on 01 Jul 2011 at 2:16 pm91True Storey

*wishes he could retract posts 82 & 87*
on 01 Jul 2011 at 2:18 pm92True Storey

Draped,

So you’re related to tabs as well? Even I’m getting confused now…

I’ll leave Dr. z to handle P’s box.
on 01 Jul 2011 at 2:19 pm93zicoinexile

don’t worry TS, in my experience, figments from imagination tend not to bump into one another in real life…..
on 01 Jul 2011 at 2:21 pm94Holloway2Holland

Afternoon all.

*squezes through to the bar*

Lager please guv’..

Nice rhymes and gripping tales from many, I’ll just sip my beer and chill out to the Doobie track.
on 01 Jul 2011 at 2:24 pm95behind the 8 ball but not nasri

TS, ‘holic is the only one with the power to retract what has gone before, a little like Zeus (or somebody, at least) in ancient Greece.
on 01 Jul 2011 at 2:27 pm96True Storey

Heh! Thanks for the reality check Dr. z 🙂

*stops sipping*
on 01 Jul 2011 at 2:30 pm97True Storey

Afternoon H2H

The idrinks are flowing nicely. Can I recommend the iPeroni, it’s good today?
on 01 Jul 2011 at 2:32 pm98takeabowson

Hey H2H ,

Some much needed sanity . I’m struggling with the madness and I’m officially barking . Pop out for a couple of hours and I’ve suddenly got a whole new family .:-)

BtM – Couldn’t agree with you more re your sentiments a la The Gooner . Haven’t bought it for over a year .
on 01 Jul 2011 at 2:34 pm99True Storey

Ah, my sibling has returned…
on 01 Jul 2011 at 2:35 pm100takeabowson

… who raises his bat
on 01 Jul 2011 at 2:36 pm101True Storey

Howzat for an assist? 🙂
on 01 Jul 2011 at 2:41 pm102takeabowson

Keep bowlin’ ’em TS , and I’ll keep smackin’ ’em to the boundary 🙂
on 01 Jul 2011 at 2:45 pm103zicoinexile

BtM – so there was you, your mum and the Reid Twins. That’s about half the population of the village, innit?

The Pharma Twins have now taken up virtual cricket – that is just SO yesterday…..

Has the Basset hound turned up with all our new players yet?
on 01 Jul 2011 at 2:45 pm104takeabowson

Nas@84

Lady N on her way to the hospital to seduce Gareth the C , as we speak 🙂
on 01 Jul 2011 at 2:45 pm105Snir Geuli

I missed out on all the fun 🙂
on 01 Jul 2011 at 2:46 pm106True Storey

🙂

*Re-organises the field to cope with en-forme batsman*
on 01 Jul 2011 at 2:46 pm107takeabowson

The Sport is timeless Dr Z , as you well know … 🙂
on 01 Jul 2011 at 2:51 pm108Goonerholic

Silly sods 😉

TS, if people used times instead of post numbers it would be easier to hide the evidence, but that would just make everybody else look daft when the numbers changed 🙂

TaBS, you ok with me passing email addy to TS? I have to ask under the data protection act…
on 01 Jul 2011 at 2:56 pm109takeabowson

No problem ‘Holic .

*wonders what he has let himself in for* 🙂
on 01 Jul 2011 at 3:03 pm110zicoinexile

It just goes to show the strain on the modern family when twin brothers have to resort to e-mail to speak to each other…..society is doomed…..
on 01 Jul 2011 at 3:14 pm111Holloway2Holland

@95 BT8BBNN. (2:24pm)

I don’t think they had internet in Ancient Greece mate. 😉

====
Afternoon tabs, TS…. Twins eh?

You’re not gonna go all Jedward on us and start calling yourself taTS or something of that ilk, are ya?

A round for the bar please, ‘holic.
on 01 Jul 2011 at 3:18 pm112True Storey

taTS, Heh! 🙂
on 01 Jul 2011 at 3:24 pm113takeabowson

tiTS would probably be more apt 🙂
on 01 Jul 2011 at 3:37 pm114True Storey

or baTS? 🙂
on 01 Jul 2011 at 3:42 pm115Bergkamp's The Man

We called them Green Man and Blue Man…….yep, most of the village catered for in my note, Zico……with the exception of Jimmy Shand, but my recollections there will need to be a story for another day.
on 01 Jul 2011 at 3:54 pm116Trev

BtM – agree re Gooner, only really buy it these days for the funny pictures on the back.

Spy – maybe we resort to silly poems ‘cos it does US less damage than writing streams of invective, which are no m ore effective.

We all love the club just as much as you do, we just have other ways of letting our steam off.

Silliness vs Vile Abuse – only one winner for me.

(prepares for another volley of vile abuse . . . .)
on 01 Jul 2011 at 3:59 pm117zicoinexile

And next up on stage, ladies and gentelmen, our resident psychedelic duo, tits and tats *

* One of the members of T ‘n’ Ts was once in a previous band, “tabs and the tabloids”, a neo-punk outfit who specialised in 2 and half minute thrash numbers about drugs, yachts and retail shop assistants. Back copies of the tablolids catalogue are known to exchange hands for very mediocre sums at “record” conventions throughout the UK.
on 01 Jul 2011 at 4:00 pm118Trev

Back to work.
on 01 Jul 2011 at 4:16 pm119takeabowson

Nice one Dr Z 🙂

Trev@116 – never a truer word spoken
on 01 Jul 2011 at 4:23 pm120Goonerholic

Spy, I was tempted to respond in a post, but thought better of it for a number of reasons. Mainly though because I don’t wish to widen the void between Arsenal supporters, and people with your viewpoint at 3 o’clock in the morning

I have, as well you know, been in print on more than one occasion to defend your right to your opinion, and your right to air it, as a fully paid up Gooner from back in the day. A face I was always aware of on trips we shared a long time ago.

What I cannot accept is vitriol aimed at fellow Gooners in place of reasoned debate. You crossed the line in the early hours of this morning. Have your viewpoint by all means, but you, and those who continue to abuse others simply because you don’t agree with them, don’t speak for anybody but yourselves.

It is also better I respond here, and not on the main blog, because all people will see if we get into an online squabble is this.
on 01 Jul 2011 at 4:29 pm121Catalan Gunner

Nicely said Trev. Liked your “touching base” joke earlier, too.

It does have to be said (IMO) that, whilst I am trying to maintain perpective, that our club really doesn’t play the PR game very well. ManU, Liverpool etc all making the purchases they want (whatever you may think of the prices paid) and acting with purpose, whilst we SEEM to dither.

I trust I will be proved wrong.
on 01 Jul 2011 at 4:33 pm122drapedindarkness

TS I’m related to all my Arsenal brothers……….but mainly the ones who reply to my posts 🙂
on 01 Jul 2011 at 4:34 pm123zicoinexile

Spy did get one thing right though – “we’re all mad”.

Ain’t we?
on 01 Jul 2011 at 4:37 pm124Snir Geuli

I was just pondering about next season and even with a front 6 of Song, Jack, Aaron, Gervinho, Arshavin/Theo, RvP, we should be able to score a whole lot.

The question is, will the defensive additions make sure we don’t concede?

One thing’s for sure, I’d feel quite empty if all 3 leave…
on 01 Jul 2011 at 4:54 pm125And Lester

I’d like to state it as a matter of public record that A)I sincerely hope his head didn’t explode B) I don’t love Stan and C) I wouldn’t mind going out with a self-sustaining model.

Up the Arse!
on 01 Jul 2011 at 5:03 pm126behind the 8 ball but not nasri

And Lester, I proclaim a round of self-sustaining models for everybody in the bar. Glad you brought it up. 😉
on 01 Jul 2011 at 5:05 pm127takeabowson

And Lester ,

Afternoon , i agree with you on B) and C)
on 01 Jul 2011 at 5:09 pm128zicoinexile

3 cheers for all these glamorous self sustaining models – its about time we had some eye candy in ‘ere. 🙂
on 01 Jul 2011 at 5:20 pm129takeabowson

Did you get a Blonde Dr Z ? I’ve never been lucky me . Think i got given the Tranny . Anyone got a Razor ?

Draped – Here’s another one to add to your collection Bro 🙂
on 01 Jul 2011 at 5:20 pm130And Lester

If you make mine a large one I’m sure I could be talked into changing my on A – to the weekend and beyond gentlemen – cheers!
on 01 Jul 2011 at 5:22 pm131Stingy Voyeur

Happy Canada Day, eh, ‘holics!
on 01 Jul 2011 at 5:26 pm132True Storey

And Lester,
A large double coming right up….

Draped & tabs
Are we now triplets?
on 01 Jul 2011 at 5:26 pm133zicoinexile

I haven’t looked up yet tabs
on 01 Jul 2011 at 5:27 pm134zicoinexile

I haven’t looked up the way yet tabs
on 01 Jul 2011 at 5:27 pm135True Storey

Whoa tabs @ #129. Self-harming is strictly for 3AM posters 😉
on 01 Jul 2011 at 5:29 pm136takeabowson

Large one yours , And Lester , have we got a deal ?
on 01 Jul 2011 at 5:32 pm137takeabowson

TS – point taken 🙂

Dr Z – keep me posted !
on 01 Jul 2011 at 5:34 pm138zicoinexile

draped is adopted 😉
on 01 Jul 2011 at 5:37 pm139And Lester

A done deal!
on 01 Jul 2011 at 5:40 pm140drapedindarkness

tabs, zico and TS, GROUP HUG!!!!!!!!!!
on 01 Jul 2011 at 5:42 pm141takeabowson

And Lester – nice one!

Dr Z – you were in there too if memory serves , wise older brother ?
Nuclear family indeed – positively toxic 🙂
on 01 Jul 2011 at 5:43 pm142True Storey

zico @ #138

Excellent! So really, with the odd interloping exception, we’re one big happy family 🙂

Awww, you’ve got me all misty eyed….
on 01 Jul 2011 at 5:43 pm143Stingy Voyeur

Hey, are any of you British blokes catching Wimbledon? The new Great British Hope (Murray) just won the first set against Nadal. I reckon, considering their heritage, both BtM and zico should be particularly interested.
on 01 Jul 2011 at 5:46 pm144takeabowson

He’s looking good Stingy
on 01 Jul 2011 at 5:50 pm145And Lester

Apologies at 130 – it appears I lost my mind – seems the thought large self-sustaining models all round knocked me off balance a bit.

Anyway my round – fill your boots!
on 01 Jul 2011 at 5:50 pm146Stingy Voyeur

This match could be a classic. I can smell it.
on 01 Jul 2011 at 5:53 pm147True Storey

tabs, Draped

Taking Dr.z’s post at #117 and thinking it through further, we could be known as Tits Draped In Tats.

Just an idea 😉
on 01 Jul 2011 at 6:00 pm148takeabowson

Unusual , you’re taking things further TS 🙂

And Lester – Pint of Mcewans please , cheers
on 01 Jul 2011 at 6:06 pm149Stingy Voyeur

Streaks: 75 years since a Brit has won Wimbledon; 6 years since we won a trophy.
on 01 Jul 2011 at 6:11 pm150True Storey

Extra Cold Guinness here please And Lester. Bottoms up!
on 01 Jul 2011 at 6:13 pm151True Storey

tabs @ #148,
Guilty as charged as usual 🙂

Stingy @ #149
Thank god it’s not the other way round, eh?
on 01 Jul 2011 at 6:18 pm152Stingy Voyeur

TS – quite right that.

Which team in the EPL has a winless trophy streak matching 75 years?
on 01 Jul 2011 at 6:21 pm153True Storey

How about 50 years without a championship? What bunch of c*nts could that be I wonder…
on 01 Jul 2011 at 6:28 pm154Stingy Voyeur

Those LWC did cross my mind. But there’s gotta be some other clubs even longer. 1936 — bloody long time ago, eh?
on 01 Jul 2011 at 6:59 pm155Stingy Voyeur

Murray’s a lot like Arsenal. Wins early, gets everyone hot and bothered, quickly implodes, and leaves everyone scratching their heads asking, “What happened”?
on 01 Jul 2011 at 7:33 pm156Highbury Spy

Sorry chaps, I did go a bit over the top last night. Goonerholic, you are right in your response above and I did abuse your hospitality. I’d been at a ‘do’ since six o’clock drinking a wide mixture of beverages and was a bit worse for wear (well very worse for wear in fact). I must learn not to let my dark side run so free in future. Apologies for any offence to your readers, after all we’re all Gooners in it together. Can I buy you a metaphorical guinness to make up for it? Good luck. The Spy.
on 01 Jul 2011 at 7:49 pm157takeabowson

Spy , nice words . Fair play to you .

Up the Arse
on 01 Jul 2011 at 7:59 pm158zicoinexile

No hard feelings Spy – you need to keep your glass half full though to get on the Happy Train 😉

The poor guy was probably surrounded by a cordon of pints – I know how that feels…..
on 01 Jul 2011 at 8:00 pm159behind the 8 ball but not nasri

Eventful day around here. The usual literary masterpieces, extreme overindulgence, good natured banter, etc., along with a special feature of the taming of the Highbury Spy. 🙂
Good thing it’s so entertaining in here because hardly anything of substance is being announced about Arsenal.
on 01 Jul 2011 at 8:07 pm160True Storey

Welcome back to the bar Spy and to our nuclear Arsenal family 😉

Different viewpoints are just fine. I’m sure that we all want the same things for our club.
on 01 Jul 2011 at 8:36 pm161behind the 8 ball but not nasri

TS, Maybe so but I’m not sure everybody in club level is going to be accepting of the llama scented doobies. I suppose some test marketing couldn’t hurt?
on 01 Jul 2011 at 8:47 pm162True Storey

nasri,

A fine observation. If you’re willing to fund the ticket to Club Level then I’m willing to do the market research 😉
on 01 Jul 2011 at 8:50 pm163zicoinexile

Llama-scented was just one particular batch, 8 ball, fear not.

I have had our “marketing whizzkids” working on all sort of innovations for Club Level. And we have our self-sustainable models to distract them if all else fails (natural blonde by the way, tabs).
on 01 Jul 2011 at 8:56 pm164True Storey

To be fair zico, there’s plenty of the LFC/LSC left in the GT.

*puff, puff, bleat*
on 01 Jul 2011 at 9:03 pm165Stingy Voyeur

First day of the Copa America tonight ‘holics. Two reasons to watch the opening match between Argentina and Bolivia:

1) For the chemically inclined, Bolivia is home to exceptional product.

2) A chance to watch our next signing, Messi, in his national colours. 🙂
on 01 Jul 2011 at 9:13 pm166zicoinexile

SV, if he’s our next signing he’ll probably get injured 🙁

*fills glass quickly*

but miraculously get off a stretcher and score the winner, pulling off his shirt to reveal a shirt that says “I’ve always wanted to play for the Arsenal”.

Now about this Bolivian product, marching powder stocks are low I believe – Frere Edwin?
on 01 Jul 2011 at 9:16 pm167Stingy Voyeur

3) llamas, I believe, are indigenous to Bolivia
on 01 Jul 2011 at 9:18 pm168behind the 8 ball but not nasri

Dr. Z, Judging by your two most recent posts the HT should be fairly whizzing down the track. Are you out on a test drive?
on 01 Jul 2011 at 9:21 pm169behind the 8 ball but not nasri

SV, It’s good to hear we have another llama expert on board. You can never have too many of those.
on 01 Jul 2011 at 9:23 pm170behind the 8 ball but not nasri

Happy Canada Day, by the way. Not sure anybody acknowledged you earlier, but a great country it is and I almost visited it a couple of weeks ago but stopped about 50 miles short in Grand Marais, Minnesota, where the wind was whipping off Lake Superior.
on 01 Jul 2011 at 9:26 pm171True Storey

Frere Edwin ici Doctor zed.

Spookily, I was just about to contact frere Doobie to see if we could raise Lady Robbie from his S.American love-nest and twist his arm sufficently to motivate him in helping out with a swift but massive deal for charlie. I’m on the case….

Back in the ‘real world’, I’m trying to finish a presentation with slides describing ‘Joint Opportunities’.

*snigger, puff, bleat, snigger*
on 01 Jul 2011 at 9:28 pm172True Storey

Fnaaar ‘nasri. Did ‘Lake Superior’ enjoy it 🙂

*puff, snigger, puff, bleat, snigger*
on 01 Jul 2011 at 9:34 pm173Stingy Voyeur

8ball,

Thank you. I wished all ‘holics a Happy Canada Day earlier. I thought you were going to cross the border and restock your collection of PQ lagers & ales?

Is it still snowing in MN?
on 01 Jul 2011 at 9:55 pm174zicoinexile

@ Nas 168, the HT has been put through all the trials that one can conceivably think of, apart from the tribulations that come with the close season and the British media.

You may even have noticed a few drinks back that there was a near mutiny by the crew as we sped through a station that had the word “Tott…….”, oh I’m not even going to say the word.

So yes, HT is good to go – although ticket sales have been sluggish, amidst grumblings that some just don’t think there will be any improvement on the journey of last season.

Being a patron of Delirious Locos Limited is just not good enough for some – they want all sort of new glittery things and being receptive to public sentiment we will of course oblige. My Management team have let many a cat out of the bag these last few weeks so let me recap on some of the joys that await:

Sports Carriage – you need to use your pwn imagination as to how to define recreation in the Sports Carriage

Animal Carriage (aka Noah Compartment) – for Dr C, his Nanny and assorted other beastly friends collected along the way including someones pet called Dalai.

Treatment Carriage I – you’ll find both Trev and Dr C at some point in here (see Animal Carriage above) who will be on hand to deal with any “injury” picked up in the Sports Carriage. There is a possibility that this part of the train may get quite busy at various points in the season as it is expected to be frequented by Messrs Diaby and Van Persie on a frequent basis (although not due to them spending any time in the sports carriage you understand, should their lawyers be looking in).

Treatment Carriage II – essentially a darkened room for those who have spent too long fighting off the evils of the Guinness Cordon and/or the combined contents of the MC and CMC.

Family Carriage – special ticket fare reductions – kids go free hence the reason that our favourite twins inherited a new baby brother today. Special attention will be paid to those who board this part of the train, to ensure they qualify, which is why the eminent geneologist, Professor Edwin Storey is currently working on a family tree of the Arsenal family.

Appetite whetted?

All aboard, there’s Arsenal games this month….
on 01 Jul 2011 at 10:05 pm175True Storey

Masterful zicoincharge with an expert assist from ‘nasri.

I understand that the Barman is dining with his family this evening so I’ll fetch the pints for you two ‘Locos’ and join you too. LIAB.

I’ll add eminent geneologist and a PhD to my CV, thanks 😉
on 01 Jul 2011 at 10:06 pm176zicoinexile

TS @ 171 and 172 – I really do think you should consider handing over those keys …..
on 01 Jul 2011 at 10:09 pm177Stingy Voyeur

Is there a Liquor Carriage brother zico?
on 01 Jul 2011 at 10:14 pm178True Storey

zico @ #176

Thanks for the suggestion but not while I’ve got my strength. You have a spare set anyway 😉
on 01 Jul 2011 at 10:16 pm179noel73

That felt like day one in the big brother house. I wonder will we get a highlights reel from Sky showing absolutly nothing of intrest as per the orignal show. Well played everyone on this blog including spy, it makes a great change from 250 posts of constant vitriol day after day.
As faithless say..We Come One
on 01 Jul 2011 at 10:18 pm180zicoinexile

Stingy, of course, hence the need for the Treatment Carriage II.

Some patrons will need to be careful about their intake though, because in the Security Carriage we have been recruiting a number of psychotic goons in Peruvian Anti Riot Suits who can sometimes confuse “high spirits” with, well, LWCs on the wind up and can be a bit overzealous in restoring order.

Their interviews went well though – one even admitting to reading a book once. I am sure they have all been carefully vetted by Prof Tits or Tats.
on 01 Jul 2011 at 10:30 pm181Stingy Voyeur

zico,

Llamas are indigenous to Peru too as far as I know.

Be certain to stock that Liquor Carriage (LC) well. Is this HT state of the art? I hope it has a superior suspension system so that I don’t spill my drink(s) 😉
on 01 Jul 2011 at 10:35 pm182Goonerholic

Spy, it takes a big fella to say that.

Always had time for you, you know that. Even moreso now.

Not overly thrilled with everything myself, but I am prepared to see if the many predicted changes do happen and change us into a side that doesn’t implode when the heat is on.

It will be great when we are back on track and all on the same side again.

I’ll try and get to the Barn for that Guinness. I’d enjoy that.

Cheers fella.
on 01 Jul 2011 at 10:38 pm183True Storey

Heh zico @ #180!

Let me assure you that they have been vetted to the point of being suitabe for the Noah Car 😉

You have been warned my chums that these er…. nutters (techncial term) will just as likely use their PARS flame throwers as talk to anything or anyone vaguely exhibiting LWC like tendencies. If you board HT MkII and start ‘Le Groaning’ when a result doesn’t go our way you may be liable to end up being served as toast in The Buffet Car.
on 01 Jul 2011 at 10:51 pm184zicoinexile

Once again, proof that I chose my Executive management team well.
on 01 Jul 2011 at 11:03 pm185takeabowson

Right , what’s going on ‘ere then ?
on 01 Jul 2011 at 11:04 pm186takeabowson

Looking for the double century
on 01 Jul 2011 at 11:06 pm187zicoinexile

You finally got your “divorce” from your ambiguous self sustaining model then tabs?

Not much happening here – Canada is currently celebrating “nothing happening at Arsenal day” but apart from that….
on 01 Jul 2011 at 11:07 pm188takeabowson

Don’t forget the Games Room ( subbuteo and all that ) and the seventies sweet counter Dr Z
on 01 Jul 2011 at 11:08 pm189Goonerholic

The gang are gathering a little late, if you don’t mind me observing?
on 01 Jul 2011 at 11:10 pm190True Storey

hey tabs,

I tought we were planning on a subbuteo compartment within The Sports Carriage? (super kinky) 😉
on 01 Jul 2011 at 11:10 pm191takeabowson

yep , Razor came to my aid in more ways than one . Meanwhile you get the Natural Blonde … no justice in this world
on 01 Jul 2011 at 11:11 pm192zicoinexile

Is that last orders Holic? 😉

tabs @ 188 – you will note that I was only giving them a glimpse of what was on offer – don’t won’t a stampede before Aug 13th mate.
on 01 Jul 2011 at 11:11 pm193True Storey

‘Holic,

The gang tend to perform better when under the watchful eye of The Barman 😉

If you hadn’t noticed we’re jockeying for the double century too…
on 01 Jul 2011 at 11:12 pm194takeabowson

Might put me off my flicking skills TS .

Kiss to miss ?

Evening ‘Holic 🙂
on 01 Jul 2011 at 11:14 pm195True Storey

Apologies zicointrain,

That’s another cat out of the bag at #190.

Unsurprisingly, ticket sales blipped after that one slipped out….ooh, er.
on 01 Jul 2011 at 11:15 pm196takeabowson

Good thinking DR Z
on 01 Jul 2011 at 11:16 pm197True Storey

… or flick to dick tabs?
on 01 Jul 2011 at 11:16 pm198True Storey

Back
on 01 Jul 2011 at 11:17 pm199True Storey

Of
on 01 Jul 2011 at 11:17 pm200True Storey

The net!
on 01 Jul 2011 at 11:17 pm201takeabowson

in
on 01 Jul 2011 at 11:18 pm202takeabowson

out by a mile – left stranded by Boycs playing for/with himself
on 01 Jul 2011 at 11:23 pm203True Storey

Apologies tabs, that wasn’t team play. You know what it’s like when you get a sniff of goal 😉
on 01 Jul 2011 at 11:25 pm204Goonerholic

Last orders, zico?

You discredit the land of my mother’s birth 🙂
on 01 Jul 2011 at 11:26 pm205takeabowson

Happy Canada Day Stingy . What happens , do you all dres up as gay Ice Hockey players and go out looking for the French ?

TS flick to kick , while you pick your dick lick ?
on 01 Jul 2011 at 11:28 pm206takeabowson

Hope you observe the Subbuteo rules rather better TS 🙂
on 01 Jul 2011 at 11:34 pm207True Storey

Tabs @ #205

Classic comments, I am chuckling as I type this.

Proof indeed that Subbuteo is a real mans game.

I do remember after school tournaments back in the day that would regulalry decend into anarchy due to ‘application’ of the rules.

Happy memories, who needs a Playstation? 🙂
on 01 Jul 2011 at 11:38 pm208zicoinexile

Holic – no my friend, just thought you were concerned that the locals were all arriving late, eyeing a lock-in.

I’m on water again, anyway. 😉

Anyone up for a game of Striker?
on 01 Jul 2011 at 11:38 pm209Stingy Voyeur

tabs – No. We wear red, sing the anthem, shoot fireworks, and drink. There is a Gay Pride Parade this weekend in Toronto for those of which you speak. I’ll avoid that. Soon off to the bar to watch our new signing Messi, whet my appetite and wet my whistle.
on 01 Jul 2011 at 11:42 pm210Stingy Voyeur

And thanks tabs for your well wishes from across the pond and for royal assent.
on 01 Jul 2011 at 11:44 pm211True Storey

Did soemone say Striker? Press the head to kick and with real diving goalies?

Not as skillful as Subbuteo but invokes equally fond memories.

How about this for a super geeks link?

http://www.peter-upton.co.uk/striker.htm
on 01 Jul 2011 at 11:45 pm212zicoinexile

Heh, quality TS 🙂
on 01 Jul 2011 at 11:48 pm213True Storey

Stingy, enjoy your day!

So basically, is it your version of what those southeners do to celebrate on 4th?
on 01 Jul 2011 at 11:55 pm214Goonerholic

The Cassidys is on the house. God bless M&S and Cooley…
on 01 Jul 2011 at 11:58 pm215True Storey

That’s mighty neighbourly of you ‘Holic. Don’t mind if I do. Cheers!
on 02 Jul 2011 at 12:03 am216takeabowson

TS heh 🙂

Have a good one Stingy .

Connection probs at this end , so I shall bid you all adieu
on 02 Jul 2011 at 12:12 am217Stingy Voyeur

Very similar TS. But we currently have the newlywed royal couple visiting. So we played God Save the Queen. We also usually have fiddlers from Newfoundland via Ireland. But our day is very close to July 4th down south I’d say.
on 02 Jul 2011 at 12:15 am218Stingy Voyeur

Kate’s wearing another one of those silly little hats sideways that those rich British ladies are so fond of. I never could get my head around those silly little hats …
on 02 Jul 2011 at 1:34 am219Trev

‘Holic @ 120 – excellently put .

Highbury Spy @ 156 – well played. (I’ll write you a poem to include in your next Gooner piece.)
on 02 Jul 2011 at 3:55 am220Stingy Voyeur

ARG 1-1 BOL FT

Messi didn’t score. He’s crap. He’s off our radar. So too are all those overrated Argentine forwards and midfielders. The whole load of them are utter shite. We should never sign an Argentine ever!

They’re still mad at us (England) over the Falklands too.
on 02 Jul 2011 at 3:58 am221Stingy Voyeur

And if Messi were one of ours now I’d say off load him tomorrow based on this performance alone damn it!!
on 02 Jul 2011 at 5:13 am222Stingy Voyeur

What’s this I see? The Guardian is reporting that Nasri is now a Chel$ki target.

Arsene’s July 1st deadline has passed. We have not signed anybody. We have failed to extend Sami. This does not look good. Look at our early season schedule. It is intense and we have to qualify over two legs just to get into the lucrative UCL group stage. Again, this does not look or feel good.

If we must lose Sami to an EPL team, I would much rather lose him to Chel$ki or Citeh. He cannot go to ManIOU under any circumstances what so ever!!! If there is one team I utterly loathe on this world it is ManUre. I say, Anybody But ManUre (ABMU).

I can’t stand the LWCs either but they’re not in the market for Sami and I am one Gooner who despises ManUre more than the LWCs. Strange as it sounds I am one of those Gooners.
on 02 Jul 2011 at 7:45 am223Cusop

It must be quite painful to find yourselves becoming a selling club, may be that lady Bracewell bint has got the board sussed. May be they should all be sacked. It must be hard for so many young goners to witness the clubs fall from grace. But there is always light at end of the tunnel and it’s lily-white and it’s in n17 ..COYS..
on 02 Jul 2011 at 7:48 am224Steve T

BTM. Do you think Cesc would walk 500 miles, and 500 more if necessary to get his move? Must admit I am really not impressed with his recent comments.

I will be at the Saturday of the Emirates cup, of course with my two. Mrs T is a closet hammer. Work commitments prevent me from having a beer but it would be great to hook up if you are about. I would look forward to it.
on 02 Jul 2011 at 7:54 am225Steve T

Awesome cusop. Always love it when you are brave enough to appear here. Makes me realise just how lucky we really are. Cheers fella.
on 02 Jul 2011 at 9:54 am226And Lester

Feeling a bit fuzzily nostalgic this morning so went looking for youtube footage of my first live Arsenal match. It was in the 74/75 season against West Ham at Highbury. I think Squeaker may have been wearing white boots and Terry Mancini was playing – which looking back was as good a sign as any that we were definitely on a come down from our early 70’s successes and headed for a period of mediocrity pre the three cup finals on the bounce (unfortunately i was there for Arse/Ipswich in ’78 – rotten game even worse result). Anyway we beat the unhappy hammers 3 nought and i can remember getting over excited and dropping my cup of hot bovril into my lap when we got the third – thus setting the tone for supporting The Arse for the next 30 odd years – pain and pleasure in more or less equal measure – until Arsene came along and for a time it was almost pleasure all the way – though of course lately he’s started to even things back up again.

Anyway I found this – not my game but one from a couple of seasons before. Geordie, Charlie, squeaker, kennedy, Radford et al playing some lovely stuff on a typical 70’s shitty pitch. AND did the away kit ever look so good? Take note Nike. Up The Arse!

http://youtu.be/32PlpPu5750

Ps my memories not the best so apologies for any inaccuracies etc.
on 02 Jul 2011 at 9:56 am227Goonerholic

Haha Cus.

You still got that permanently on your clipboard. You’ve said it every July since Scooby Doo was a puppy.

Ground falling down, Modric and the chimp fleeing the ruin, ‘Arry plotting his next move after bankrupting you as well as West Ham, Bournemouth, Southampton and Portsmouth.

You must be so hopeful 🙂
on 02 Jul 2011 at 10:02 am228drapedindarkness

@ 147

Heh, I liked the idea if not the execution 🙂
on 02 Jul 2011 at 11:05 am229takeabowson

Stingy – Good overnight work fella 🙂

Steve T – I’ve actually seen the full reported questions and Answers of Cesc’s interview . I will try and find the link , but can’t remember where i saw it . The subsequent reporting of that interview has been an utter disgrace , and if anyone was in any doubt as to how low the media will sink , you need look no further . Cesc said nothing wrong , or even anything vaguely controversial . His reported comments were an amalgamation of two answers to 2 entirely different questions .

And Lester – Thank you so much for the Link . That game was , apart from a visit to Shite Hart Lane , the very first Away Game I went to ! It was therefore the first time I saw us play live in Yellow , and also the very first time I stood at a game . The old man and I were stood on the side towards the end where all the goals were scored . I was stood on a stool .

At the time we looked odds on for another Double , but Sunderland , and a home defeat to Derby , ( in which Roger Davies became the first person i saw wasting time by taking the ball to the corner flag ) , put paid to our hopes .

Great memories of that Upton Park gig – thank you again .

Draped – Morning , Gotta keep your averages up 🙂
on 02 Jul 2011 at 11:10 am230zicoinexile

Standing on stools, tabs? Hope you wiped your feet….:)
on 02 Jul 2011 at 11:13 am231takeabowson

Well , it was West Ham Dr Z 🙂
on 02 Jul 2011 at 11:30 am232Goonerholic

Cus,

Get your begging bowl out.

http://tinyurl.com/6g3zf2l

Busted flush 😉
on 02 Jul 2011 at 12:25 pm233True Storey

Morning All

I presume the pong in here is from our resident LWC and not tabs standing in stools? 😉

‘Holic @ #227, 232 & Steve T @ #225, great retorts no need to add anything. That lot are such an easy target these days aren’t they?

Dr. z, the HT Mk II security team are straining at the leash, flamethrowers set to toast. They smell LWC and they don’t like it. I may have to empty the GT to calm them down. I’m thinking some re-programming might be in order or things could get really messy as the season develops.

And Lester @ #226, I’ll echo Doobie The Younger and thank you for those great memories. Big JR at #9, after school Subbuteo and Striker, cholesterol wasn’t invented and white dog poo. Was life ever any better?

Draped @ #228, agreed and feel to suggest something more apt. We could do a Borg thing : Tabs = 1 of 3, I’m 2 of 3 and you’re 3 of 3??? Maybe not….
on 02 Jul 2011 at 12:52 pm234takeabowson

‘Holic ,

Public money for The Spuds ? Now that’s something worth marching against ! Who’s with me Fellas … I’ll even bring the sandwiches .

TS , Afternoon , oafish types clad in Peruvian Anti-Riot Suits who want to beat up Spuds . I fail to see the problem 🙂
on 02 Jul 2011 at 1:41 pm235Holloway2Holland

@Stingy.

A belated happy Canada Day, and sorry to be pedantic but the last Brit to win Wimbledon wasn”t 75 years ago…… Virginia Wade did it in ’77.

So the Spuds record is still safe as one of the crappiest in the books.
On the subject of the tiny tots, Cusop, your a brave, brave man and a comedic genius, thanks for your contributions.
on 02 Jul 2011 at 1:47 pm236True Storey

Afternoon tabs,

Excellent points. My marching boots are at the ready. Lady R has been traced and been suitably ‘motivated’ to help secure our supply of ‘powder’ to match. Cheese and tomato for me please. 😉

After further consideration, the GT has remain closed, the security team have been poked with cattle prods for the past hour and shown images of last year’s second half vs the scum at The Ems *shudders*. They’re lifting the doors off the hinges of The Security Carriage as I type this. Their GPS modules are all locked onto N17. Recommend that we stay in doors for the next hour or so.
on 02 Jul 2011 at 2:06 pm237takeabowson

Good to know TS . I shall stay in and watch the Wimmin’s Tennis .

Sandwich request noted .
on 02 Jul 2011 at 2:37 pm238Wolfgang Smallballs

Dear Virginia Ironside ,

You are now my favourite Agony Aunt after Marge Proops did not help me with my problems last week . Claire Rayner is past it , and I only speak to Nolan Sisters who are not fat f*ckwits . I will therefore correspond with you . You are my last hope .

I find myself inexorably drawn to the willowy Russian temptress at Wimbledon , and I have taken up Basketball in the hope I can snare her . She is not however returning my calls and this makes me sad .

In an effort to cheer myself up , I am going to a party tonight . At my last party Dr Z got all the Blondes and I was left with a Tranny , which left me feeling glum .

At the Party there will be lots of Statuesque muscovite Blondes , who I wish to marry . I want to show off my Russian meatballs to best advantage . My question is , should I wear my Speedoes ?

Thanking You in Anticipation ,

Wolfgang Smallballs .
on 02 Jul 2011 at 2:54 pm239Cusop

I’m like father christmas mate all the goner kids sit round the gooner tree singing here comes fatty with his sackful of crap.. Lol!

But seriously the little spaniard, and the two little frogs all jumping ship with captain hook (wenger) going slowly mad as the crocodile ( fair weather fans) waiting to chomp him up.

Twitchy is gonna sell you defoe to help you out., maybe you should buy Bent too! Actually fancy buying Bentley his engine purrs but thats about it.

Lets face it you could nit even win the milk cup.. You lot ar years behind us now. PSML!
on 02 Jul 2011 at 3:10 pm240takeabowson

Ah Cusop quite the Jokester.

To continue your analogy the Spuds are like the expensively assembled new toy – just too damn noisy .

Played with for a short time , then mocked for its lack of substance , before being discarded by young and old alike .
on 02 Jul 2011 at 3:17 pm241Cusop

I think not old son our club is older and you must thank us for showing the way, Holic you also should be be careful calling the pot black the Imaginates also Received public funding, shame that it’s quitter there than the library. Except when every one leaves 10 minutes early at half time for Coco, Tea and the Wee wee line
on 02 Jul 2011 at 3:18 pm242Holloway2Holland

Cusop

“You lot ar years behind us now.”

Never a truer word said. It will take another 40 plus years of us not winning the title to be anyhere near you guys.

Give that man a drink, barkeep, he’s the cabaret.

We’ve heard your jokes, now sing us a song, but not that one that you stole from Southampton that you sing too slowly.
on 02 Jul 2011 at 4:17 pm243Cusop

Lol! The only one I know for u lot is

My old man is dustman he wares a dustmans hat.. Look down and look at your gawd blimey trousers
on 02 Jul 2011 at 5:56 pm244drapedindarkness

@229

Cheers tabs matey, averages are good to keep up 😉

@233

TS mate, I really like the borg and being 3 of 3 actually appeals to me a lot 😛
on 02 Jul 2011 at 7:00 pm245And Lester

Tabs and TS well pleased you liked the link – have a drink on me.

Ahh a saturday evening off season pint in the sun and a chance to have a pop at one of them – truly the summer has arrived.

Would love to be able to pick on something different but like Holloway2holland @242 I can’t get past “you lot are years behind us now” by what measurement would that be? Which leads me to wonder is Cusop an abbreviation of ‘Soppy C**t’ then spelt backwards to make it sound/look even stupider?

Apologies Holic if this contravenes your no personal abuse rule – but in my defence he is one of them and judging by his postings he probably won’t realize I was having a pop.

Up The Arse!
on 02 Jul 2011 at 7:30 pm246zicoinexile

I had this weird deviant thought that Cusop could be a cousin of the Landlord (Cus OP) – can’t be true, can it?

We all know we can’t choose our families but we can choose our football team and this poor deranged soul took a wrong turning in North London somewhere along the line.

Holic, if I am way off base don’t take it personally, please.

Anyway CUSOP – they have a saying for your sort where I come from – “away and play Tig with the trains!”

Up the Arse!
on 02 Jul 2011 at 8:02 pm247And Lester

Just found another blinder of a vid on youtube posted by the same far-sighted genius who made the one above and obviously spent a lot of time filming Arsenal on his telly in the 70’s. This one is from ’71 and it’s against Chelski at Highbury. The players’ hair-dos and the crowd shots are almost as entertaining as the football – which is surprisingly (to my mind anyway) modern in that it’s intense and fluid and *says in an Alsace accent* ‘very technical’. We, as in the one above against the ‘ammers where we play lovely counter-attacking stuff, play in a very modern Arsenal way – one touch, lots of great movement off the ball and R. Kennedy (who of course eventually left us for a close rival – it happens and it hurts) – playing off the main striker – gets a couple of corkers. Maybe there’s an Arsenal DNA in our style of play right through the ages and Arsene didn’t make us beautiful – just more so.
And there’s a lovely little detail as ‘The Big Match’ and Brian Moore launch a competition to find a song for Arsenal fans to sing at Wembley – “and we have the backing in this of the Arsenal manager Bertie Mee and his whole team as well”. Was this song ‘Good Old Arsenal’ or did it never catch on, or what? Anyway I think if you have a look you’ll find it’s worth it.

Come On You Reds!

http://youtu.be/gLQvUayXjpM
on 02 Jul 2011 at 8:40 pm248Holloway2Holland

Nice retort Cusop, ironically, my ol’man was a dustman, he did indeed wear gawd blimney trousers and guess what? Yep, we lived in a council flat. (across from the Tollie)

BUT, the only thing I see when I look down are your team languishing below us.

Cider please barman and a stool at the bar, these Daisy Roots are killin’ me.
on 02 Jul 2011 at 9:03 pm249Goonerholic

Apologies all.

Spent day on the lash.

Will post tomorrow.

Happy summer 😉
on 02 Jul 2011 at 9:26 pm250zicoinexile

AL @ 247 – nice one.

Ray Kennedy was my very first Arsenal hero.

Holic, happy hangover 😉
on 02 Jul 2011 at 9:38 pm251Virginia Ironside (in exile)

Dear Mr Smallballs @ 238

Yes, wear the speedoes. Russians don’t smile that much. 🙂
on 03 Jul 2011 at 8:30 am252Esso

Could have sworn I heard some sort of splashing in here?
on 03 Jul 2011 at 11:17 am253Goonerholic

zico, no he’s not!
on 03 Jul 2011 at 11:22 am254takeabowson

*boilk*
on 03 Jul 2011 at 11:51 am255And Lester

Phew!
on 03 Jul 2011 at 12:08 pm256zicoinexile

Like I said Holic, a deviant thought.

How’s the head?
on 03 Jul 2011 at 12:56 pm257Snir Geuli

Just landed after a 12 hour flight from Tel-Aviv to the US and first thing I did was go to this bar and a bunch of Arsenal related news sites.

Was expecting to read bad news, read nothing of the sort.

Relatively pleased 😀

Goonerholic

Eat, sleep, breathe, drink, Arsenal

Ode ‘Ere, What Can The Matter Be?

257 Responses to “Ode ‘Ere, What Can The Matter Be?”

Recent Posts

Categories

Pages