Doom, Gloom, Cuckoo Clocks and Pestilence – Really?
Jul 20th, 2011 by 'holic
For a final appreciation of what has gone before, and the acknowledgement that there is more than one viewpoint on the year just passed, I am again indebted to Bergkamp the Man for his latest submission. Whilst others, me included, are emerging from a dark time of doubt and frustration, this man has remained a beacon of positivity. We acknowlege that in the closing weeks of last season all was not rose-tinted in our world. Perspective requires we acknowledge the plus points, as well as the failings.
Cheers BtM.
The flames have disappeared, the glow has left the ashes, the last embers black, discarded. The sun has long since set over a dark horizon. Empty glasses on an empty bar, containing only the stains of the last game’s Guinness froth, still odorous from tobacco burned pungently through a deep red hue, just before the barman switched out the lights on the last chorus of “spend SOME fucking money” faded from Arsenal’s cognoscenti.
No better time then, when passion has dissipated, when school’s out for the summer, when leather is hitting willow and Holic’s Burner is hitting nothing straight, for some quiet reflection on the season just gone down. Described by some as a cataclysm, sufficient to stop the very earth rotating on its axis, a great pox of a plague on a swarm of marauding locusts sufficient to strip Emirates proud green grass bare and instill a rancid biblical pestilence throughout the Wenger dynasty for centuries to come.
Was it really that bad?
Brilliant sunshine, Mexican waves and a challenged little lad who hugged me for 90 minutes is my first memory of the twelve games I made it to. Frimpong shone, making Gatuso the Snarling Dog look more like Roland Rat. Kos strolled and Chamakh impressed. My little neighbour chortled as Arsenal thumped Milan and we booed Flamini together – just for fun. Celtic on the following day – another win – but early signs of the defensive issues that would trouble us later and bring down bile, pestilence and rat vomit in floods.
Then the real stuff started with a Spanish goal-keeping howler in the very first game at Liverpool. Preppie Rainer, under pressure from Chamakh threw a beauty into the back of his own net. Manuel looked on smugly. Eighteen goals in our next four games as the handbrake was left in the garage. Then, off to Sunderland -no problems there surely? A Rosicky penalty miss (Nasri was on the field!) and a 95 minute after-closing-time equalizer did us for two points.
We scored 24 times in our next nine games, nearly three per game. I made it to two. 5-1 versus Shaktar was the kind of mid-week outing only available at The Emirates. Passion, pathos and a great goal, applauded loudly, by the opposing centre-forward, one Mr Eduardo. The West Brom game saw Arsenal turn out in black and white stripes for the first half and manage to go 3-0 up before the team in red decided to wake up and score two. That stung.
We got lucky in December. Manuel got croop and Wojciech began the 20-year Szczensy dynasty against the Deeply Indebted at their place. “They only scored because the ball bounced off Park’s head” he famously quipped of the only goal to beat him. Magic! That same month saw my Boxing Day highlight game as Arsenal in full flood, playing as only The Gunners can play, ripped Chelsea to shreds and sealed it inside sixty minutes.
NINE games in January and we won all of the important ones – we would have beaten Shitty for the second time in the season but for their woeful bus parking. “How many millionaires does it take to pack Man Shitty’s goalmouth?” To this point, we’d been the dog’s bollocks. I’d enjoyed every moment live, streamed or Foxed.
February. The results kept rolling our way – but two moments of madness, self inflicted, caused wounds to the psyche that would prove difficult to erase with a single aspirin. This was the month of Diaby’s red mist and the 4-4 reverse that was Dowd facilitated by two non-penalties. It was also the month in which Arsenal took pity on Birmingham when Kos and Schezzer decided to play panto swipeball resulting in 49 year Ogbafemi scoring the winner in a cup final that should easily have been ours. I was there. I really enjoyed the day. Great curry afterwards. But best of all – it was the month we thumped Barcelona with two beauties from Robin and Russia’s finest haircut.
March made me madder than a March Mad Hatter. Not because we drew with Sunderland to howls of home fan boos (despite a perfectly good goal disallowed and a rugby tackle that for some reason wasn’t a penalty). The thing that made me maddest was the Swiss Cuckoo Clock Builder who sent Robin off at the Nou Camp – which spoiled an otherwise perfect week in Barcelona – and rocked our foundations badly.
We suffered from the B’s in April and lost stupid points against Blackburn and Bolton then suffered the curse of the goal that wasn’t off-side at Sh*te Hart Lane just after Eboue had been suckered into conceding a 98th minute penalty versus King Kenute, the kipper buyer and his boys.
May started with one Welsh Wizard scoring against the Deeply Indebted – well done, Rambo – and scoring with his brother’s wife – NOT so well done Giggs. And then the gas escaped from the Pride of London Champagne that I’d been saving to toast our League win. Pity that.
For me it was a season of superb entertainment. Arsenal served up some of the very best fare available in Europe. We were second top scorers but sadly conceded more than three others. Sure, I got frustrated, kicked the furniture, kicked the cat and even kicked the budgie on one occasion (sorry Joey – that wing WILL grow back).
Would I have wanted to buy success like Chelski (er, what success was that?) or Man Shitty? Or even win playing as ugly as Manure? NO WAY. Believe it or not, I don’t go because I crave silver. I really don’t care. I go because I love everything about my team in red – from The Chip Inn Fish Bar in Holloway Rd, to beers at The Tollie and most importantly – the most entertaining young squad on the planet.
I can’t wait to start all over again. I’ll be there next Saturday against Boca – when Cesc leads Robin, Jack, Aaron, The Verminator and the bunch of new boys AW will have bought by then, out on to The Emirates emerald green. I WILL enjoy the weeks ahead. If we win something – well, that will be icing on another very fine cake.
I hope you can and will enjoy too. As always, the man with the funny Fife accent and Crail Golf bunnet will be buying beers for Goonerholics with time to put the world and The Arsenal to right over something wee and wet. See you all at the Tollie. Come on you Gunners!
519 Responses to “Doom, Gloom, Cuckoo Clocks and Pestilence – Really?”
One glass of doom ordered
Great summary Holic season .. i saw things the same way it was a wonderful season .. with many ups and downs plenty of hope plenty of hurt.. would have loved us ending up with a trophy or two but it wasn’t all doom.. whats up with your generation and the oveusing of big words anyway took an eternity to read it??
*looks up ‘green’ and ‘grass’ * .. Cheers
Thanks for that, Bergkamp the Man. Great read first thing in the morn.
Thats what I want to hear we were good till feb we will be good and with a couple of players we may even be great lets look forward with hope and anticipation and enjoy it its FOOTBALL and we are the best to watch
COME ON YOU GUNNERS !!!!
Morning L,
I know full well we need to address what went wrong at the tail end of the season. Nobody could pretend otherwise. There is a danger of losing sight of the fact that again we got into a position to achieve something positive, and provided we make the necessary additions to the squad, and keep them fit, there is no reason why we should not take that extra step.
I’m enthused again, at least until September. The noises coming out of the club are the right ones. If they deliver, they have done all we can ask.
Every time I come here I find myself thanking whatever it is that sits in the sky above us for you and your blog; today was no exception. Yet more great stuff ‘Holic.
One Red Stripe please, and one of whatever you’re drinking.
I see Dein junior has been ‘briefing’ the anonymous reporter in the Daily Heil again.
Thank you TheBoy, but the credit is due to BtM. I was past the time of reflecting on what has gone, but I had to share what a fine wordsmith had taken the time to create.
What grated most last season was the manner of collapse, that we were only 1 or 2 key players short, that the defeats were in muchness self inflicted and that our rivals were weak with the title there for the taking. We had to watch the same failings, lack of seniority, lack of defensive cohesion and concentration and quality. Had Arsenal come just short, say 3-4 points with a group of focused young committed players then the fall out would not have occurred, the context however was there were many players at 22-28 whom had been at the club a number of years and failed year on year, players who clearly did not give 100% and certainly on many occasions got out fought and produced moments of constant stupidity. We know who they are, it is difficult to support that but thankfully the deadwood is being cleared. Denilson has joined Sao Paulo on loan, Almunia and Bendtner look set to move on and Eboue neither one thing or the other has been replaced by Jenkinson and Gervinho down the right. As long as the team has committed players and talent moving in the right direction sand that mistakes the same ones are addressed then it is easy to support the team, and for example is why I can back Wenger’s decision to play Gibbs as first choice next season. I am hoping Squillaci is no where near the first XI and we do indeed clear the decks of those likely to move on. 3 top signings away from being champions, a centre back, striker and one more.
Blimey, you can tell the man’s on holiday, he can’t stop writing!
Ah, it’s a BtM post. Looking forward to seeing the Great Scot again, after the Barça confusion.
The worst sort of Arsenal fan. Looks at the past with distorted vision and presses reset ever summer in the naive hope of change. No understanding of the game or what needs changing, no ambition. Wish people like you weren’t blogging about Arsenal; there needs to be change not blind following the blind.
Jaysus fucking christ Ben. If you knew the man who hosts this blog and the man who wrote today’s entry, you’d hang your head in shame.
Forever
Can’t disagree with much of that either, Corny. I think the chasm between opposing poles of the support is not as wide as some would have you believe, and worsened only by the language and attitude of the entrenched and bigoted.
Changes are needed, most accept. For some who seek to be offended the club will not be able to do right for doing wrong, regardless of the player turnover or money spent.
Others will give them the benefit of the doubt and look for sensible investment, preferably before the end of August.
If one of our best midfielders is leaving let’s get it done, secure the other, and a top quality addition to the squad.
Let’s add the ‘keeper and two defenders that many would consider to be priorities. Let’s offload those who were found wanting last season.
That seems to be the concensus regardless of which side of the mythical divide one sits. There is a lot for the club to do in a short space of time, so I still have concerns, but it will do not good doubting them at this stage.
Wonderful post by the best sort of Arsenal fan if you dont mind ( I got James earl jones to read the first paragraph to get in the mood). I also press reset every summer as I have been doing since I was 6 and it actually works you know..
Sorry Ben,
I’m surprised someone with your viewpoint could even stop moaning long enough to read this.
Can you recommend some ‘right kind of Arsenal supporter’ class I could attend.
Apart from following the team around Europe for fifty years of course.
Do we need a keeper or should we give chezza a chance like alex and his young keeper ???
Ben you may find this hard to believe but some supporters have been around before ArseneWwenger and even the Premiership itself. we realise that only 1 team can win the league each year and that to do so is a tremendous honour and not an entitlement.
i realise that some so called “Fans” need their team to succeed so that they can benefit from the vicarious success but really those of us well grounded mainly by experience regard those types as delusional, spoilt, ungrateful characters with poor impulse control.
we get that you” want it and want it now daddy” but we chose to ignore your demands until years of experience teach you that quite simply, that isn’t the way it works.
Any moron can be negative when they don’t get their own way. A true football supporter SUPPORTS through thick and thin and learns that since it cannot be all good then the bad must be taken with the rest of the meal.
I was a well written, thoughtful and balanced article and the only way that you can express yourself was with a little Britian “Don’t like it”
Run along and play kid. You will understand if eventually if the media gets around to shaping you into a form that can.
“Hands Ben an ice-cream ,pats him on the head and sends him on his way”
Dear Ben,
I do believe if we bought five players and came second in everything, you’d still moan like a stuck pig. Go and do it on LeGrove with the rest of your rather insignificant, but constantly moaning cohorts.
Goonerholic,
Splendid read today, aye thangyou.
@ Ben, unfortunately you will find a lot of the ‘wrong sort of Arsenal supporters’ in here. It’s true, we’re crap fans, all we ever do is try to enjoy the game and have the temerity to relish memories like beating Barca, caning the Chavs and sending Man U packing.
None of us realise how terrible Arsenal really is, we just gloss over the relegation fight we narrowly got out of last season, we ignore the fact that we finished 15th and we certainly will not be going into next season moaning and whinging about everything and wishing Andre Villas Boas was our manager. How dare we support our club, we really suck at being fans.
Barman, as many pints of Doom and Gloom Bar as Ben wants please.
Hello Danny, may go into that in the blog in the next week. If it was not a good idea to go with Manuel, Fabianski, and Woj last season, is it any better to go with Woj, Fabianski, and Mannone this time round?
No answer there. Just the question that Arsene has to resolve in his mind.
Great post BtM! Please send him a drink of his choice, barman. I also say it’s essential as a supporter to reset every summer to make sure to remember our positives and potentials first.
Pint for Ben, coming up…
Hmm, on second thoughts do you think it’s dark enough for his taste?
Cheers lads the positive is doing me good , i wanted Given to teach Chezza oh well you can’t have everything a c/back and a striker that scores, Nasri to stay and all is well
Give it a rest. The clue to the fact none of you know anything about football is that you all seem to thing either A) doing nothing or B) a few signings will cure all our ills. That’s only half the story. What about Wenger’s tactics? A minefield of incompetence that ensures Arsenal will NEVER win anything no matter who he buys. For me, it is all doom and gloom, because I’m stuck alongside fans like you and a manager that, for some bizarre reason, only goes shopping in France, has a dressing room full of players with one leg in and one leg out, and is the tactical equivalent of Robbie Savage.
If you dont like it Ben, you can always do one. You pays your money and takes your choice.
Ah, the ‘you know nothing about football’ card.
What a hoot.
Arsenal will NEVER win anything. That makes it a FACT.
How sad.
And as an active follower of the club for 32 years, rather than a keyboard warrior, I take great exception to being told to ‘give it a rest’. So much so, I invite you to discuss such matters in person, whenever, wherever you choose.
At the moment I don’t pay any money as Arsenal don’t provide value for it, but I’m still entitled to my opinion. If you don’t like that you can do one.
Brilliant writing, as always Btm
I’ll drink to that
Cheers
Ben, stop swinging your handbag around. You’ll have someone’s eye out.
Yadda yadda Holic, why don’t you ever analyse the problems in any detail? What do you think, for example, about the fact Arsenal haven’t been able to defend a set-piece for 5 years?
Do you think Arsenal will ever truly compete – let alone win – anything if Wenger continues to do nothing about it?
Do you even care that every season Arsenal fall short because of Wenger’s evident lack of tactical nouse and steadfast refusal to bring in coaches to correct the obvious problems that he cannot mend alone.
Does a manager that’s paid £6m per annum not need to perform better in this area, and what’s the deadline for accepting his performance is not good enough in that respect?
There’s a challenge for you, sensible questions hoping for sensible answers.
Indeed you are entitled to an opinion Ben. You are the one who is telling us we aren’t because we are wrong.
Read what you have written again and try to understand why your presumptions about people you don’t know are laughable.
Cheers Esso. See you soon fella.
I’m not saying you aren’t entitled to an opinion either, rather that considering you run an Arsenal blog your opinion is remarkably lacking in insight – not to mention foresight.
I don’t buy the “I’ve been supporting Arsenal 50 years” line, that’s irrelevant, surprisingly defensive and shows a lack in confidence in your ability to discuss.
Now, how about answering my questions?
Ah, Wenger is tacticaly naive then. Shame we didn’t find that out before he won those three titles and four FA Cups and took us to a Champions League Final before the money dried up.
If you read here regularly you would understand I was saying from the start of last season that we were now in a problem to invest in areas that we have had to paper over in the wake of the stadium move. You are entitled to believe that didn’t happen if you like.
Just don’t come on here insinuating I, and others, are not entitled to a view that differs from your own narrow-sighted conception.
Irrelevant?
Dear God…
Hi holics an holic great post btm, hope ur enjoying a nice holiday holic well deserved for the work u do on here,the year of experience the team have got under there belts should stand to them like everything in life,what doesn’t kill us will make us stronger!bring on the new season cmon u reds!!
There was also a very strong naivety in the way we beat Barcelona this year….*sighs*
No tactics involved in that? I don’t think so….
Your inability to discuss is also legendary, ‘holic…..
*is thoroughly confused*
“your opinion is remarkably lacking in insight”
I’m prepared to put it to the vote which of us has the closed mind, treacle.
You’re right Holic, Wenger did win all those things of course, most of them with George Graham’s defence and the momentum from that served him well for a year or two after.
That’s all gone now, from scratch Wenger seems utterly incapable and unwilling to fix the problem.
I wouldn’t say he’s papered over the cracks due to lack of money. Over the last two years, Arsenal have had their worst defensive record for a decade – yet Wenger has spent over £20m on defenders.
Don’t remember Arsenal beating Barcelona Ollie. Champions League games are played over two legs, not one.
Teams adjust their tactics due to this, some teams might, for example, accept a goalscoring draw or narrow defeat, which of course they wouldn’t in a straight knockout.
To suggest Arsenal BEAT Barcelona is preposterous, and born out of having an inferiority complex.
Very good article.
I was beginning to lose faith. Not with the team of course, but with the Arsenal bloggesphere being unable to produce anything other than negative tedious rantings recently.
Some much needed perspective but I guess some still don’t get it.
“A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity;
an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty”.
Right enough discussion. Why dont you just FUCK OFF! As pointed out earlier there are plenty of other places you can peddle your shit.
Oh and the Invincibles, GG’s defence was it? Piss off you muppet.
Dont worry ‘holic I wont be back for a bit, sorry to shitify the place.
Optimists are nostalgic about the future
Goonerholic,
Great stuff. All I know is that the reason I started supporting the Arsenal because I loved to see them play. It made me happy when we won, made me sad to see us lose but I still watch Arsenal play. I dunno if a premiership tittle will give me bragging rights but I certainly know that I brag about the way MY ARSENAL plays. So Mr. Ben am I a good supporter or should be banned for lack of ambition?
Holic, are you going to ban Esso for this vile abuse? Would be double standards not to.
I don’t know what your ambitions are Ashish. I wouldn’t ban you for any reason other than verbal abuse.
Stoke are in for Peter Crouch, now there’s forward thinking…we’ll fight them in the air, we’ll fight them on the…er in the air…we will never surrender..our way of playing. I kind of remember we were a Bendy miss away from beating Barca, if that went in would that have changed everything for the doomers…some how I doubt it.
@Noel. I seem to remember we were about 8 Barca misses away from being annihilated. In both legs.
Ben does not exist. Reset. Ben does not exist. Reset. Ben does not exist. (Sorry, just thinking out loud!)
Great article BtM . Excellent synopsis of a season that had many highs notwithstanding the spectacular implosion at the seasons end .
Great responses to the fifth-columnist Ben .
” At the moment I don’t pay any money “@29 . Says it all young Benjamin ( I’m assuming you’re 3 and a half ) . I really don’t think you should be in the Bar with the big people . There is however a bouncy castle outside , now jog on junior .
I have to agree with Ben here in so far as what he says about people hitting the reset button. It is a strange all is forgiven lets forget the mistakes of th past attitude which a lot of the bloggers have. Then when the same issues arise the next season its as if we wonder why, set plays, with a fit RVP, yawn.
Also in fairness to Ben, although I do not read the blog that frequently so cannot comment on the footballl knowledge of Holic, the fans that follow certain blogs that are never critical of Arsene are idiots. Comments I just cant take seriously but none the less the poster no doubt truely believe such as “even if we lose Cesc and Nasri we will still compete” or “United have spent their money badly and we have singned Jenkinson and Gervinho”.
No offence is meant by this post to anyone, truely. I will come back to read what you are saying when Arsene fails to invest in the squad, as he will, and is making the this is my best ever squad statements just before the season starts, as he will.
Before anyone says I am a doomer, it is not about that, its not just about winning not everyone can win, its about putting yourself in the best position to win. The losing I can handle, its the failing to try that I cant.
*Lauren , Toure , Cambell , Cole* – that well known GG defence .
Ha , ha , you truly are 3 and a half Ben .
@51 It’s called freedom of choice. I’m no longer giving my money to a football club that never invests it, especially one that puts already extortionate ticket prices up another 6.5% (in a recession) whilst at the same time is prepared to throw £25m away by letting a player walk off on a free.
If you think that’s acceptable, shame on you.
OK so Im waiting patiently for the moment we shock the world and buy a striker for 30 million. We will take photos of him in the red and white and then just before the season begins we will sell him and bring in a left back who will go on to captain us and lead us to League Cup Glory.
To know your future you need to know your past.
@53 If you read my post I said he did well to create momentum from that for a few seasons years. But then it’s easier to twist things to suit your agenda isn’t it?
Besides, Cole was not a Wenger signing, was at the club when Graham was there. Hard to take anyone seriously when they’re that ignorant.
Freedom of choice ? so does a west ham fan head over to chelsea because they are relegated, does a wigan fan say fuck this am off to pledge my undying support to barcelona…is that the choices you are on about
Oh right so GG was responsible for Cole – right you are – the only people out there with an agenda are the the morons like you and those that populate sites like Le Grove .
Jog on Junior .
@52 You need to do your homework, noone on here is AKB and if anyone thinks AW can do no wrong they’re utterly deluded. He’s not perfect, he makes mistakes and he opens himself up for criticism quite a lot. It’s been said before, he’s drinking in the last chance saloon, just give him the chance to get to the end of the transfer window before saying he’s lost it and doesn’t have a clue.
@51 That is music to my ears. The next time I’m lucky enough to get tickets to the Ems I can comfort myself in the knowledge that I’ve dodged the 1 in 60,000 chance of sitting next to you, griping with your arms crossed saying nothing’s good enough as we win a game (which we tend to do more than we lose if you hadn’t noticed…)
Ahem, “@51” should be “@54”. Apologies tabs.
No worries Camberwell – knew who you meant 🙂
You’ll know if you’re sat next to me – speedoes and all that 🙂
@57 I support Arsenal not Arsene Wenger. When I see change I’ll consider giving the club my money again. It’s called having principles, a far more mature outlook then simply allowing the club to rape me of my earnings then tell lies about where that money’s going.
You want to be taken advantage of? Fine, I don’t. I care about the CLUB, and will not simply pander to the egotistical desires of its manager and a boardroom that has sold up its shares to get rich with an owner who we still have no clue about. To be honest, you are a disgrace if you don’t deem these things important.
Speedoes tabs? This I must see.
Wolfgang Smallballs CG – you may have missed him .
Ben
What you are doing in here is so fundamentally wrong on so many levels. Shame on you.
Please read Ollie’s post again (and again) at #12 and then stop and think about what you are doing and what you are trying to achieve.
A fair few of the regulars in here know eachother personally, therefore, if you insult one, you’re likely to insult us all.
‘Freedom of choice’ is for responsible human beings who choose to behave in a responsible way. Do you think that you tick that box?
Other keyboard warriors who grace us with their presence form time-to-time often wave the ‘it’s a free world’ card as if it absolves them of all responsibility and consequence for their actions. In my experience, responsible adults choose not to behave in that way.
Now let’s see if I’m wrong and if you’re a big man…..
1) Apologise unreservedly to the owner and keeper of this website who provides the platform which you choose to abuse
2) Apologise to the talented guest writer who took the time and effort to provide you with something to read.
3) Apologise to every single ‘Holic that you have upset with your inappropriate and unwarranted comments above.
…. and I’ll be the first person to say welcome and pull up a chair.
Try also to remember that it’s not what you write but the way that you write it.
Hey TS good stuff .
@62 that being a consumer, there is a difference in being a supporter.
Cheers tabs. I’m almost certain that my words are in vain but very occassionally people behave so badly in here that I’ll let rip too.
Anyways, looking forward to BTA #6 and some (ab)normality being restored to the bar 😉
I would say Ben is correct in that we were closer to being annihiliated over both legs than to actually defeating Barcelona, but as TS said it is not so much what Ben is saying as how he was saying it. Still, there is no shame in being annihilated by the best club in the world, especially at their place, and the “victory” in the first leg was a victory in most senses of the world. Certainly a memory worth cherishing in my mind, as well as in the minds of most real supporters. If that’s not good enough a memory for you Ben, I’m sorry to say you will be disappointed 99 percent of the time. Not a way I would choose to live my life. 🙁
On its way TS 🙂
What I can’t understand is what Ben thinks he’s achieving here, regurgitating his LeMoan bollocks before sticking his fingers in his ears and la-la-la’ing through the responses.
tabs @ #70,
Is it packed full of kung pao chicken this week? 🙂
Lovely post BtM. To the D&Gs: a plague on all their houses (with tongue pressed firmly in cheek)
Not written yet TS , but i think matters arising from our asian trip will be discussed 🙂
PS: Chelski at home was my highlight too. What a fantastic night. The atmosphere was electric, we ripped them a new one and we left feeling that no one could beat us. Happy memories of a Xmas past.
@69 nas you could say the same about inter when they beat them in the final if you went on stats, fact is we were 1 goal away and a player sent of for nothing when we were winning the tie. The fact that we can say it might have been different if RVP was still on the pitch suggests we were far from being annihilated. That said I know we need to strengthen and am not blind to the glaring weaknesses
tabs, delighted to share an idea or two but don’t want to distract the artist from his….er…. artisty 😉
Noel @ #76 – IMO, we were genuinely unlucky not to go thru’. We were ‘annihilated’ last year at the Nou Camp by Messi. But so were Manure this year in the CL final. Maybe this year? 🙂
Correction: Maybe next year?
TS , will send you a brief synopsis in the back channels when i get a mo .
I am as honoured as Manure are indebted 🙂
Ben, you will have noticed that unlike other places you are still here, along with all of your posts. Indeed like a few other ‘holics who fundamentally disagree with some of what is written here, but choose to discuss with respect and civility. I appreciate them more because of that.
For some reason you are pushing the boundaries with assertions like:-
“The worst sort of Arsenal fan”
“The clue to the fact none of you know anything about football”
“If you don’t like that you can do one.”
“your opinion is remarkably lacking in insight”
“If you think that’s acceptable, shame on you”
“Hard to take anyone seriously when they’re that ignorant”
“you are a disgrace if you don’t deem these things important.”
Now then, you must understand why that sort of bombastic belligerence offends people, therefore it’s is reasonable to assume your attempts at provocation are deliberate.
I don’t know you from Adam, I don’t think, and I certainly don’t understand the motivation for somebody who claims to be an Arsenal fan attacking Arsenal supporters webwarrior stylee.
It saddens me, frankly.
And Esso, down the years you have earned the right to your frustration at this type of attitude. No apologies needed to me fella. I know you will stand shoulder to shoulder with me when needed. Unlike some of the faceless.
_________________________________________________________
Right people. That is a line drawn under that. I have some work to do.
Yes, even on holiday, but this is nice work.
Here, here, ‘Holic. Advanced apologies if my post at #65 is also viewed as inappropriate. Like you I was genuinely upset but what I saw.
Well drawn. Hope you used an HB pencil.
Longtime reader, first time poster.
Excellent post Holic. Cheers indeed.
And if I may be so bold, it being hot as blazes in New York today, make mine a Guinness.
Holic , that post is perfect .
TS , you have mail .
TS 81: nice one! 🙂
Homer you bastard!
Freezing here this week. Had to wear yet another layer today.
And what tabs just said, but without the e-mail for TS.
Well, well, what’s going on ‘ere then?
Firstly, BtM, how dare you write such an excellent upbeat piece highlighting the many plus points of our past season, when there are cleary at least a few negative bits left over that we could be shaking our willie youngs at while whinging about all that is wrong in the world.
As for the rest of you so called fans who have been following our lads through thick and thin, across land and sea over the last decades, well you guys just make me wanna vomit. Going into a new season with fresh hopes and aspirations, how very dare you? What kind of supporters are you? Don’t you realise that you are destroying our beloved club, because a real fan would do the right thing and piss, bitch and moan while throwing every single one of those damn toys out of his wretched pram….. wots wrong wit’cha?
Finally Mr Holic, I blame you the most for giving us a forum in which you entertain us and share your many years of experience’s while following the Arsenal, in good times and bad times over the best part of half a century and for trying to look on the positives rather then drowning us in the sea of pessimism where all real fans love to splash about in. Oh the humanity!!
A half full glass of arsnic with a cyanide chaser please barkeep…
Care to join me Ben ?
Whoops, sorry, I didn’t see a line was drawn.
I’ll have a line too please
Nice post all the same H2H 🙂
Did anyone say Lines ?
Back to (ab)normal, I think I’ve found the perfect anthem for the HT MkII’s CMC.
@82. Well, it saddens me that you support a club 50 years and remain oblivious to the mess at board room level and the horrible inadequacies of its manager.
Having seen it all, I would expect more insightful observation, but it’s obvious no-one’s going to get that from a blog that can only provide sycophantic views, double-standards and mates back slapping.
Still, it’s your blog and all that.
The CMC is open! 🙂
May have neglected to inform you all that we now have the WT (white tin) next to the GT (green tin). Contents have been kindly donated by Charlie, bless you.
I was going to unveil it earlier but someone needed a good caning first.
Oh good grief….
*reaches for Kleenex*
H2H @ #94
Not quite it seems. Great anthem BTW, very apt.
great post BTM!!!
a great recap of a season of many highs n lows
Also,
a little respect towards the community from certain quarters would be appreciated
As the owner of the blog reiterates, opinions are welcome but in a cordial and civil manner.
Bag o’ weed for Ben, or would it make any difference? Sorry, I forgot we had moved on to lines. 🙂
He’s not getting any of the Californian Nas .
underage
undersize
A post a day whilst ‘holic is on holiday. Cheers to BtM for his ongoing fine works.
Welcome Homer @ #86!
Could you please ask Bart to stay at home? 😉
What did I miss?
Ben, you rat.
Great post BtM – pity the bar allows kids during the day which sullied your good work.
Oh and if you want to read HT credentials people, read it all over again.
Pass the White Tin TS, I’ve forgotten my lines 😉
Right. Here goes. What Ben is saying is correct. What everyone else is saying is correct. Case in point, everyone is entitled to their own opinion.
Ben, I too am pissed about the persistent errors of the club. I too am frustrated. But that doesnt mean you go on a 5 hour rant mate.
We all know where the deficiencies are, and more often than not Holic has highlighted this as well as other excellent Arsenal blogs. But mate, every once in a while you need a positive post. If not for anything else to stop you committing suicide! Even the most anti-arsene fans or whatever have a day off.
Give it a rest mate. Just because our overall feeling is one of unrest does not mean we allow it to dominate every second of our lives. Otherwise you will die a miserable man mate.
Ok, so today was a positive post, tomorrow may not be. Just understand that football, like life is all about balance. One day you’re this. the next you’re like that.
The overall feeling is that of feeling troubled about our club’s future. Noone has their head so far up their ass that they can’t see we’re not in an amazing position. A positive post doesn’t change that.
So basically, chill.
*passes to WT to Dr.z for medicinal purposes*
Dr Z , we needed your Doc Martens mate
Got distracted by all the previous bollox. Originally meant to come on to say great guest post, well up to this site’s usual excellent standards. Cheers Btm, ‘holic and everyone on here.
You have mail, tabs.
Dr.z, the steel capped ones.
BtM, let me congratulate you on a fucking brilliant post. Have a pint on me!
Ben, you are way out of order. If you would follow this blog you would see that most of us are really frustrated and the price hike, to name but one example, has been roundly critizised here along with various other issues. Where maybe we differ is in how we deal with it, most people who write here, be it the Holic himself or us who comment on his pieces, have chosen to deal with it with a sense of humour and hence we waffle on about Happy Trains and whatnot. We can’t do very much about what’s going on anyway so why not have a laugh instead? Don’t for a second think that it means we don’t care, it’s just another way of dealing with it. For my part it is also about not believing that winning is the only thing that matters in the end. I will forever cherish the good moments of the season, that wonderful evening when we beat (yes, we did beat them in the first leg) Barca will always be a treasured memory for me – to name but one great game. And the thing is that I think that if you take a look back I’m sure you’ll find nights that you enjoyed as well – and quite frankly, if you couldn’t at least enjoy the fire drill chants at the Lane after Arshavin had scored our fourth goal then I fear you will never be able to enjoy very much at all.
heh TS@105
Evening Ollie, make sure you wrap up warm. We don’t want another member of the squad going missing before the season starts 😉
iLars, very well said, far too polite for my liking (this time) but very well said. Your horned helmet may come in use 🙂
Nice post Lars .
TS – thank you and have responded .
Re: Lars @113, You’re right on every score but I have one point to add:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k3DYXBL3cD4
Firstly thanks to BtM for excellent summary
Then again to Holic for hosting this blog, and the ‘holics for their information and entertaining contributions
Let no-one for get that this blog gives supporters around the world a chance to appreciate this great club of ours through thick and thin – too often in the past , having lived away from North London for my adult life, have I suffered and rejoiced alone in the results we have delivered – these blogs support all views with equal tolerance
Ben , Oh Ben, we all know what has been done and not done, but at the start of a new season we, and the club, start again with eternal hope that we deliver pleasure and results, so press the reset button and cheer up. AKB is not my personal style, but I HOPE that we will deliver this year as I have every year for close to 60 years
COYRRRR
Very diplomatic of you Lars @113. Have a drink. Still need to know what beer to order if I ever visit Stockholm 😉
Excellent as post as usual.
Ben your not a regular talkshite caller are you? I am sure I have heard all your lines before, you will never get what you want here at the holic bar, but you should do yourself a favour and learn to revel in the joy of a new season, thats what football is really all about, the slate is wiped clean and we start again, it your right to keep your money in your pocket, but I hope for your sake this is not the year that we finally hit the real heights because you will be the one missing out, cheers and happy new season to YOU ALL AND BEN!!!!!!!!!!
Just finished getting through all the drinks, have to say it was a pleasure. A glowing reference for the site as a whole through not only the excellent post but also how the regulars (of which i am one in reading and only recently in actively participating) not only defended the club and one of their own but also displayed the typical class and dignity of a Gooner when enlightening Mr Ben on what it is the site is about. In relation to our disgruntled ‘friend’ you clearly have a passion for the club which is commendable and something all Gooners on here share but perhaps you could be a little more considerate of the opinions of those of us who dont feel the end is nigh. A little less angry Ben and a little more Gentle Ben please. On a lighter note i just seen wiltord has come out of retirement to play for nantes, legend!
Just finished getting through all the drinks, have to say it was a pleasure.
Blimey you must be extraordinarily drunk now!
Nice to see some other / newer posters in here.
HNS (Happy New Season) to you too goonergirl.
Cbw,ycbas great name but we need a decent shorter version for you. ‘spud’ is unlikely to work here 😉 Please let us know your preference.
Drinks for these two please Mr. Barman.
Yeah Ben…Chill man, take it easy
You have made it clear what you think of the board, the manager and the club at present..What other ‘holics are rightly pointing out is that, not everyone else has the same opinion as yours
..and even if they do, they still are kind enough to buy everyone a drink at this bar 😉
Anyway, On to matters Arsenal..Are we playing any pre-season games this weekend?
I’ll have a pint, on Lars’ tab 🙂
Perhaps if Ben found Jerry back, he would chill easier.
*gets coat*
Harsha,
Cologne on Saturday. Live on Arse Player too so best prepare a back-up plan of a live stream 😉
PS for WS: Put your trousers on please, ladies present. Tsk….
Ollie, the door is this way…
*punishment for outrageously punnish pun*
Yes, Ollie wins the prestigious pun of the day award. 🙂
Ah… the ‘llama farmer’ is back amongst us. Evening Lonestar, please pull up a chair and have a drink on Lars’ tab.
Can you try and keep your herd away from Dr. z tonight? He’s in possession of the WT and he’s not letting it go 😉
nasri @ #128.
Going to respectfully disagree with you for a change and point you towards our guest wrtier at the top of this page 😉
*struggles to lift head*
Is it safe to come back to the bar? Is sanity (hah) restored? Is that Lonestar that’s casting that long Texan shadow, and who’s his furry friend?
TS, BtM’s essay is elegance itself.
TS@123 I see what you mean will have to work on the name alright. I’ll get on it straight away, many hours of hard work ahead but i feel a montage coming on…one for Ollie and all in the bar ‘holic(and one for yourself) seeing as i finished all the drinks earlier with pleasure-perhaps the Irish in me is too obvious 🙂
BtM –
very interesting read. Easy indeed to forget so many good times in a season that ended so badly. Enthusiasm is in the air, again, at the prospect of a new season – there is always the chance that the modern Arsenal will produce moments of pure magic. And wasn’t the “magic” the reason we all fell in love with the game anyway.
The 1998 – 2004 years were a “perfect storm” in a way for AFC. An already built, magnificent defence, fused with a midfield and attack of true world class.
All released to play, BEN, with pace and power that English football had never seen. The alchemist, Ben, was a bloke called Wenger. You know, that one who hasn’t got a tactical Scooby.
Please don’t start turning up again when we start winning trophies.
You’ll find Chelsea FC cater much better to your particular needs.
TS @ 65 – good stuff. Logical and restrained. Ideal for Ben 😉
‘Holic @ 82 – (ref Ben, all over the place) – well said. Saved me the bother of retrieving many of his more idiotic/arrogant remarks. Surprised you could be bothered though.
Ben – did you realise your name is an anagram of ‘Ben’ ?
Cheers Trev,
Love your posts. Hate your b’stard, sharpened elbows 😉
At least you left me with one leg to stand on 🙂
*reaches for the ice pack and winces like a pussy*
It will all be fine TS, you’ll be walking within weeks 😉
How does a pussy wince ?
No, don’t bother 🙂
Hey! How about this one. Redsnapper wants Adebayor to become a Spud.
Stingy — how many hours are you behind over there ? 😉
If he ends up at the LWCs he’ll likely be the most hated ex-Gunner ever.
Trev – Minus 5 GMT.
I get all my news five hours after you blokes 🙂
‘nasri @ #132 – Yes, easy to agree on that one 😉
Trev @ #138 – Big heh! 🙂
@ #133,
How about CBW (Could Be Worse)? Very unimaginative, I know. The CMC is open BTW of you are in need of a little inspiration after all those drinks 😉
SV @ #141
Mmmm…. Stapleton or Cashley for me.
Just popped out for some milk wearing my Fabregas shirt when all hell breaks loose in the dairy aisle. Two Sp*ds saw my shirt and I heard one of them say “You’re not going to have him much longer” so thinking it was going to get ugly I at first tried to ignore them but they turned out to be a friendly father and son kind of Sp*ds gang, right here in Minnesota. They seemed better educated than I expected too, but I must have been mistaken. 😉
nasri,
LWCs can read?
TS & Dr. Z,
Many apologies for my delay in responding. I also apologize from letting one of the BBB escape the dark corner where I keep them corralled.
I think he is once again back in pocket. As far as keeping the critters away from Dr. Z’s sticky icky, you can count on me. Besides, once the llamas get there hooves on the good green, my feed bills skyrocket.
Thanks for the drink, Lars. A round for my compatriots who once again feel the tug of optimism presented by the new season.
Up the Arse
Lonestar
Yes, he was a troublesome little critter. Glad to here he’s back in his cage/pen/cot whatever 😉
Full of optimism here. Even more so if we make a meaty defensive signing.
I’ll have a Guinness please and regards to Texas 🙂
Wow (walks into the bar and sees havoc, chairs all over the place, glasses shattered, and walls filled with spilled beer)…
Seems like I missed out on all the fun.
I could have used a laugh or two.
Apparently Cesc is NOT going to Cologne. Unfortunately, I’ve lost hope that he’ll be staying.
The worse part about it is, I don’t see any way that Barca will not dominate Europe for the next 10 years till Cesc and Messi retire. Cesc is a like for like replacement for the genius that is Xavi.
Barca are gonna be like Jordan’s Bulls, Kobe and Shaq’s Lakers, Gretzky’s Kings and Oilers, or to put it shortly, they’re gonna dominate every season because they’re gonna have the best players on the planet by a mile.
I’m an natural optimist, but even I am struggling to believe we can win the league without Cesc. And no, there is no replacement available on the planet, let alone the transfer market.
Alright Snir, let’s not get carried away with ourselves…
The Arsenal will always be bigger than one man. Although I’m not at all certain we can win the league this year with this team, I do know that losing Cesc or Nasri (even in the same year) would not be as catastrophic as some would make out.
Especially if the proceeds were re-invested in the first team.
Here, have a drink, and let’s see how it all plays out.
LG – I’m not saying Cesc is bigger than AFC!
I’m just saying that it’s a major downgrade and I don’t see how and who can replace him in today’s market.
And, I hate it for Cesc to leave with only one trophy, and it annoys me beyond belief that it would be Barca that would enjoy his genius skill for the next 10 years or so.
TS, Maybe they can’t read, but they seem to know where the cottage cheese is located. 🙂
Think you’re overstating Barcelona’s possible dominance over the next few years Snir, maybe in La Liga (and even there you never know) but no team has even won back to back European Cups for over 20 years now.
Oh and one last thing… I can’t believe I’m finally admitting this but our stocks have definitely fallen and we’re in somewhat of catch 22.
To build your stocks back up and become attractive to players again, you need to win trophies, to do that you need the best players, you can’t get them because your stocks have fallen.
The only different way is to wait till your young players develop which is what AW did because of the stadium but no he can’t attract the top players of the world.
(And yes, I know we never bought ready made stars but potential like TH and PV but this time it seems it’s a must just to keep the players in the squad happy so they won’t become “wantaways” too :\)
Just got back fromba local in Slovakia (Liptovsky Mikulas) Tatra mountains all around beer costs 80 cents everywhere. For those who like fishing please chceck this place out.
Anyway Holic down to the bone really thi summed up our seadon to the bullet!
Gruszkowka all around!
Evening Funsters ,
Wait to see how it plays out Snir , no point worrying about it until it actually happens . We’ve faced worse and come through .
Come on the Arsenal . Start of a new season – time to be excited .
Yo Arthur. Sorry about yesterday. You must be in one dodgy place 😉
Hey Holic must be this new android phone 🙁
Sorry said no to apple iTunes 🙂
Wow.
Days like this make me really look forward to when we next win a bit of silverware. Presumably the Doomers will put it down to some lingering echo of George Graham’s influence and tell us all that Arsene got lucky. After all, you have to either love everything the manager does or hate it – there are no grey areas in Arsenal fandom.
Ben – I think someone else put it best above: there are supporters, there are “customers” and then there’s you, who appears to be neither. Some of your views may be valid, we may all be wrong on here, but slagging off the venerable batman and waving away his 50 years of Arsenal support makes you a mug regardless.
Holic – cheers for the site, it’s been a bastion of common sense and camaraderie during this long, dry summer.
Drinks on me.
Barman rather than batman.
Although slagging off batman would be just as bad.
BEHIND THE ARSE EPISODE 6
The Arsenal squad are back from the Far East . IG and IPA are discussing all matters arising .
IG : So IPA , a good week eh , fans were magnificent weren’t they .
IPA : Indeed Sir , very good Sir .
IG : I think we need to look into the logistics of flying 60,000 asians in for every home game . I think we have to think out of the Box , you know , clear blue sky thinking , about what we do about this fan unrest , it’s not helping the club you know .
IPA : You want to replace the whole fan-base for home games Sir ?
IG : Think about it , IPA . Enthusiastic , noisy , great banners , it might work . These boys love Arsene . Would only cost £60m per home game to fly them in and fly them home again .
IPA : £60m per home game Sir – I think that would impact on our transfer budget Sir .
IG : Maybe so IPA , but it wouldn’t matter , these new fans would be so happy to be here , that they won’t worry if we don’t sign anyone . That’s the beauty of the plan .
IPA : But we’d go bust in a fortnight Sir .
IG : Exactly IPA , and that’s precisely what Gareth the Cunt has been advocating for years . He couldn’t moan anymore , could he ? And imagine the look on his face when I tell him his ticket has been allocated to Mr Do One Ho .
IPA : But we’d lose our jobs Sir , I mean , if we go bust .
IG : Alright , alright IPA , I didn’t say it’s perfect did I , needs a fair bit of tweeking , but its an example of thinking outside of the box . I don’t mind telling you it’s something you should do a little more often .
IPA : Yes Sir .
IG : Right , how are we getting on with shifting some of our unwanted deadwood IPA ?
IPA : Denilson out on loan Sir , Bentner and Almunia in talks with other clubs Sir .
IG : Excellent IPA , Excellent . And Eboue ?
IPA : We still need him Sir .
IG : Really IPA ?
IPA : Yes Sir , change of heart Sir , he’s the only one who speaks fluent Dolphin Sir . We need him to make Gervinho feel at home .
IG : Well , I suppose that’s sensible IPA . *grins* I guess our new signing is feeling a bit like a fish out of water eh ? *laughs*
IPA : A Dolphin is a mammal , Sir .
IG : Don’t get fucking smart with me IPA .
IPA : No Sir . Of course not Sir .
IG : What about Fabregas and Nasri IPA – I rather confess to having lost the thread . What’s going on ?
IPA : Err , it’s a bit tricky Sir .
IG : What’s going on IPA ?
IPA : Well err we obviously want to keep them both but we might lose Fabregas…
IG : But he’s on a 4 year contract IPA
IPA Yes Sir .
IG : Well what about Nasri ?
IPA : We’re definitely keeping him , Sir .
IG : But he’s only on a one year contract .
IPA : Yes Sir , we’re definitely keeping him Sir because he’s under contract , unless we keep Fabregas Sir or unless the money’s too good to turn down for both of them Sir .
IG : So to sum up , we might keep both of them , or we might keep Fabregas and sell Nasri , or we might keep Nasri and sell Fabregas , or we might lose them both .
IPA : Yes Sir
IG : IPA , you haven’t got a fucking clue, have you ?
IPA : No Sir .
AW and PHW walk in . AW is in a pin-stripe suit , shirt and tie and bowler hat . PHW is still in his Sumo wrestler outfit . AW chucks his Bowler without looking , into the corner of the room , where it nestles beautifully on the Hat-Stand .
AW : Ah , a good shot non ? Can’t wait for ze new season . I ‘ave ze mojo back .
IPA : Good Morning Sir , you’re looking well Sir , very British Sir .
AW : If you can’t beat zem IPA , zen join zem .
IPA : Very good Sir .
AW : Oui , no more drugs for me , after Asia , I am high on ze love of ze fans .
IG : Great news Arsene , does this mean no more Insect experiments ?
AW : On ze back-burner , Ivan . In ze meantime I ave sold my collection of 9 billion ants and 36 million hornets to fast food outlets in Asia . I ave made 35 million pounds for the transfer kitty Ivan .
PHW : Brilliant Arsene .
IG : This is fantastic news Arsene . How did you get on in your public dialogues with Mancini and Xavi ?
AW : I smiled , I shrugged … Xavi admitted to spouting ze bollocks , and Mancini confessed that he is a Teletubbie .
PHW : Brilliant , Arsene .
IG : This is fantastic . Arsene’s back on form , we’ll be unstoppable . Peter , how come you’re still dressed as a Sumo wrestler ?
PHW : Llama likes it , says it makes me all musky . No reason to change if she likes it , more tiffin and extra Biriyani .
IPA : I don’t want to spoil the good mood , but were you aware Mr Hill Wood Sir that you are being impersonated on GoonerHolic ?
PHW : Fucking outrageous !
IPA : Quite Sir . A chap called Trev apparently Sir .
PHW : Fucking outrageous . How did you know it wasn’t me ?
IPA : Not sweary enough Sir .
PHW : Fucking right !
IPA : Also said you were shagging Lady Nina Sir .
PHW : What ?! How many fucking times do I have to tell people I love my Llama , end of . If I catch up with him , he’ll know all about it I can tell you . I’m willing to go to court on this – important fucking legal principle – us Hill-Wood’s only stick it in Llamas , and the whole fucking world should know it .
IPA ; Yes Sir .
PHW : Where is the fucking witch anyway ?
IPA : Sent to seduce Usmanov Sir , reporting back next week .
PHW : Well I suppose the Witch has her uses .
IG : What’s happening with Geoff Gervais and Gareth the Cunt ?
IPA : Gareth the Cunt is in love with Lady Nina Sir , and these adolescent stirrings are making him a little less cuntish Sir . It appears there is no lasting damage to Geoff Gervais Sir .
PHW : Course there’s no lasting damage , I dropped him on his fucking head .
IPA : Just loss of short-term memory Sir . He of course had already forgotten that he is an Arsenal fan many years ago . Mr Hill Wood is in the clear .
IG : Well this is fantastic I must say , Peter in the clear , the Asian fans love us , and Arsene back on form . What a great week .
PHW : Yes indeed Gazides , and things are about to get even better .
IG : What ?
PHW : Start of the new season Gazides , time for my annual Chairman’s address . Time someone stood up for this great club . I’m doing it next door in The Diamond Suite , all the press and Radio , live on Sky , the BBC , ITV , Channel 4 , blanket fucking coverage .
IG : OH my God , when ?
PHW : Thirty fucking seconds time . You boys can watch it here on the Box .
IG : No , no , no , please Peter don’t .
PHW : Too late Gazides , I’m off , see you later .
PHW strolls to the Diamond Suite in his Sumo gear . The others remain behind to watch it on Television
THE DIAMOND SUITE
PHW goes to the Microphone in front of a packed press gathering .
PHW : Gentlemen and single woman at the back , I am here to make a statement . I will not be taking questions . In my capacity as Chairman , I have but one message .
The ginger twat from Peterborough , Adrian Durham , who wouldn’t know a decent football manager if the manager was banging away at his ginger arse , his sidekick Darren Gough who doesn’t know if he wants to be a cricketer or a ballet dancer cos he sure as fuck aint a broadcaster , Alan Hansen you boring fuck , Mark Lawrenson you miserable git get your haircut , Phil Thompson and fat boy Mickey Quinn and any other scousers who can’t put more than three words together , whiney Stewart Robson with your fucking high defensive line , Robbie Savage with your Lady Di haircut and your painfully inept attempts to be funny , Joey Barton , Kevin Nolan , Sir Red nose Ferguson with your gamesmanship and your bullying and your non-broadcasting , Diving Nani , big-mouth Evra , Dan Smith , Barry Ferguson with your hair -tousling wankerosity , Ben , Gary Neville with your face from a fucking cartoon , that Birmingham cunt who snapped Eduardo in two , any Birmingham or Stoke fans who revel in the agony of others , Alan Brazil the ugliest man in Britain , Tony Penis and your Dark age football , Ryan Shawcross with your crass assaults and your baby boy tears , Mick McCarthy and your fucking Yorkshire wit , Gareth the Cunt with your self-serving divisive rants , Geoff Gervais with your no-brained bollocks , fucking anyone who posts on the crass haven of cuntheadery that is Le Grove , Jamie Rednapp with your toddler name , your toddler analysis and your stupid wife , Alan Pardew and your classless antics , Chris Waddle you pelanty moron , Fat boy walrus Alladyce not so near the England job now eh , monkey boy Bale , Twitchy media-whore ‘Arry with your face in the trough , all tabloid journalists , Martin Jol you look like a troll , all LWC’s , Kenny Dalglish out by Christmas , Rafa Benitez fucking seriously what’s the point ? , Jose Mourinho poster fucking boy for everything that’s wrong with football , John Terry you ladyboy chav , all the ex-manc managers who can’t stop sucking a benighted cock yes Bruce and, Hughes I’m talking to you , Roman Abramovich and your ill-gotten billions , Usmanov you slimey fucking rapist , Roberto Mancini with your carefully knotted scarf and your silly windswept hair learn the fucking lingo , the oily cheating freakshow Xavi , that catalan Mayor you’re the biggest fucking cunt of them all , Ashley Cole and your smelly mobile phone , Capello and your dyed hair , Stuart Pearce , Blatter and your miserably corrupt tinpot empire , Puyol with your rearranged face and your cunting photos , Wayne Rooney and your ten-a-penny granny shags , Phil Neville , Alex Mcleish and your kick anything that moves tactics , short-arsed fucker Daniel Levy and your get big quick schemes , the Scottish bloke on Sky Sports news with the girlie voice who is such a nomark I can’t even remember his fucking name , the West Ham porn Barons , Rio Ferdinand and your utterly uninteresting tweets , Arabs with oil money , Noel Gallagher and your head that’s too big for your body , you can all just fucking fuck off . And anyone else I’ve forgotten you can fuck off as well .
*St Pauls boys choir appears behind PHW singing Good Old Arsenal *
We’re The Arsenal and we’re not taking it anymore . We might frustrate , we might not spend enough , we might not have as much money as some , but we’ve won league titles in seven of the last eight decades , our name is known around the world , our name is synonomous with doing things the right way , we lay out flowers in the opposition’s colours , we lay on floral tributes to our supporters that have passed away , We’ve got a great team who play in the right way and we’ve got a manager who’s got more class , dignity , intelligence and know-how than the rest of these bellends put together . Now report THAT , you fucking cunts . .
*journalists break into spontaneous applause*
Back in the TV room …
IG : MY god IPA , they actually like it . Pipe … … now .
IPA : Yes Sir .
CUE THE MUSIC AND END CREDITS .
You remember wisniowka? These guys have this nice stuff made from pears, bottle costs 5euros, one bottle 4for the taste for your hard work Holic 🙂
TaBS,
You are absolutely refreshing! (Your creativity that is…) Thanks for the latest episode.
Drink (or llama) of your choice on my “tab” 😉
Cheers Lonestar , felt we needed something cheery after the drama of the day 🙂
Great work btm. One question though. Have you recently compiled this or is it a cut and paste from the 09/10 end of season report?
Will be at the Saturday of the Emirates Cup with the kids. Are you gracing The Grove with your presence?
Blimey. It appears I have missed a right old bun fight.
Tabs, I will wait as I simply don’t know what to think anymore but my post at 156 is just an alarming thought.
Fair enough Snir .
Ahh, that feels better – well done Tabs 🙂
Tabs @ 164
I Doff My Cap,!!!
By the By,i am assuming your breakout from the Isolation Unit was successful last w/end,although i have not heard from you since then.
The lovely C,gave me a message for you from the Dinner Lady,she said to let you know she received the Packet of Peas you sent annoymously by Courier,which i assume was your way of letting her know your br/out was successful.
It’s all quiet here in the SU at the moment,although something is afoot,apparently ‘ Mincing Mary’ was seen arriving for the start of his nightshift,but has since disappeared.
C is trying to find out some further info which i will pass on once i receive it.
Cheers
Clive
Tabs, you’re brilliant.
But I do have one question though, what does IPA stand for (I get that he’s IG’s assistant but can’t figure out what IPA is) ? 🙂
Snir thank you , IPA = Ivan’s Personal Assistant , named I think by Dr Z .
Clive – thank you . Quite right the peas were a coded message , will post some break out tips in due course 🙂
Cheers Trev 🙂
And now we can get back to talking football 😀
I’ll repeat my post at 156 cause I think this season is an imperative season for our club future.
Our stock is falling but we can’t build it back up cause we ain’t winning trophies cause we ain’t got the best player cause we can’t buy ’em cause our stock is falling, get it 🙂 ?
Anyway, Arsenal have never bought world class stars but developed potential.
Maybe this season, the potential will come together.
Maybe Jack will lead us to glory (I’ve decided to buy a Wilshere jersey for this season as opposed to Cesc, Robin, Titi, Reyes etc.), god, that kid is special.
Fair play tabs, thats a hell of a mouthful at this time of night, oh well I’ll just have to skip my nightly chapter of Ulysees so. Ryanair would fly them over a lot cheaper though
Noel – Speaking of JET, it’s been reported AW is willing to sell him for 1M.
I guess I’m not the only who doesn’t rate him ;).
On to the next youngster to put our hopes in?
Good point Noel re Ryanair , plan could be a goer 🙂
Snir @176 – thats more like it – JW leading us to glory .
Snir. I read that about JET. Must admit I have never got him either. Big lumbering type of player. What I have seen of him makes me think he is very lethargic. It did get me thinking though. How many of that all conquering youth team will go on to be first team regulars? Jack is the obvious star of the show. Frimpong is tipped for stardom but still very much has to prove himself. But what of the rest?
SG am dissapointed with that, he has been banging them in for fun in the reserves and is that not what progression is supposed to be. Still think he has a better first touch than Bendy but so has linda mccartney when you think about it (boom boom ). Oh well so long as the next signing is a genuine starter for first team I can live with it…shame though.
Blimey, TaBS. You’ll get me shut down, or a cult following (no spelling mistake there!)
Arthur, 4 euros? I’ll have a case of perrynewka 😉
Steve@ 181. From what I have seen of him he was at least fairly direct and not afraid to shoot. I think we have enough wilo the wisp fleet of foot players in the team so a bit of a battering ram is no bad thing to call on. Hopefully Gervhino can fill that role too. Luke Freeman is supposed to be the next big thing but how can you tell I suppose.
Steve T – My guess is Aneke, Coquelin, Frimpong, Afobe, Bartley and maybe, maybe Miquel.
Don’t see anyone else.
Aneke and Afobe because they must be really special if Barca want them and try to steal them away from us after all those “homegrown” players shite they’ve been going on about, to go for 2 foreigners says something.
Coquelin, is rated higher than Frimpong according to Youngguns so will make the step up for sure if Frimpong is in the first team (have to say I love Frimpong, he’s not only tough but his forward passes are penetrative as well).
Bartley was sent to a loan at Rangers and although I don’t rate the SPL better than the Championship, he did play in the Europa League, and I did love what I saw. Commanding the area perfectly on set pieces, shouting out orders to established, experienced players.
Miquel is sort of our next Kos, a finesse CB with good feet.
Other than these players, I don’t really see anyone making the step up, including Henderson, Lansbury and JET.
Apologies for PHW’s language ‘Holic . Let me know if you think it’s straying too far into the realms of the obscene , and I’ll tone it down .
I have seem JET play a few times. He always looked like he had bundles of ability. But he also looked slow and at times lazy. I think he suffers from no one actualy knowing what his best position is. I do know that Liam Brady rated him very highly and felt he was destined to go all the way.
I watched quite a bit of the youth team in 2009. The team that went on to be crowned the best under 18s in the country. 2 years later on Wilshere has managed to make the step up. Some of the side have enjoyed loan spells but Jack is the only one to make it. Why is that? It is not something I have really thought about before,but it does raise a few valid quetsions.
Aneke and Afobe are interesting ones. I do know that both are highly thought of. But check out the side from 2009. Some of the football I saw that side play was awesome considering their ages. I guess I am just a bit disappointed that it is only Jack that has so far managed to make the step up.
How many players in the top six have progressed through the ranks ? how many are tipped to. Even Barcas fabled youth system has only produced 3 or 4 players and Pep has spent something like 250 million since he has been in charge. Its a lottery.
It’s the drinks, not a main post, TaBS. Tone down nothing. People know what to expect in blog comments these days.
Of course at this point I have to issue the usual disclaimer that the views expressed in the drinks are not necessarily the view of the proprietor etc…
I make no secret of the fact that I am indebted to the Hill-Wood family for what they have done for our club down the years, but satire is fine with me. A far more creative expression of ones views than offered by many, I reckon.
I’m all for differing views, just not personal abuse based on disagreement.
And if you don’t agree with me you can fuck off.
What?
Oh 🙁
Good stuff ‘Holic . 🙂 By the way despite appearances to the contrary , and despite his PR gaffes , I’m rather fond of the old bugger too , and try and give him the best lines , albeit under a flurry of sweary abuse .
Thanks.
Tabs, Bravo for Behind the Arse #6. Brilliant once again, and PHW was on quite a roll today! Also, it’s important to know that our manager is back on form and we don’t necessarily learn this stuff from the mainstream press. 😉
Steve,
I’ll be there for both games. Cokes for the kids on me at The Tolly (if that’s allowed – not sure that I’ve seen too many youngsters there). Will be great to say hello.
They let kids in the Tollie on Dubaibury Cup day, least they did last time I went to it. On normal match days, under 18’s are a definite no-no.
Looks like Barça have an agreement done with Sanchez and Udinese. Talk about the rich getting richer.
Thank you for this great post BtM! I enjoy reading your prose in general but this time it felt like the post I dream of writing but never can. Next time someone asks me how I feel about Arsenal I’ll simply refer them to your post because I just couldn’t express better where I stand. Thank you a million times!
Besides not being able to express myself as clearly and eloquently, what really frustrates me is how the Arsebollah is succeeding at stifling any attempt to share positive thoughts and feelings towards our beloved club. Every enthusiastic, optimistic or even simply non-gloomy post about Arsenal is systematically defamed by doom prophets screaming on top of their lungs. It wasn’t that long ago we looked forward to the episodic droppings from Danish whose never faltering negativity quickly endeared him but today it feels like we miss him. Say what you want but at least he had the tact not to overextend his welcome. Now it’s a different story, the new generation has learned from the extremists around the web and wants nothing more than the liquidation of those who dare not share their agenda.
Take Ben for example. Ben is not here to discuss with us. Like a true and dedicated fanatic Ben knows the one and only truth. The absolutists having tried long enough to convert us without success now consider us as heretics to be dealt with swiftly. Preaching didn’t work so following the aspiring terrorist manual Ben and his brothers move on to the next tactic: prevent us from being ourselves. By constantly barging in and framing the debate they hope our viewpoint will disappear.
Simply look at Ben’s comments. He spots an excellent post whose positivity alerts him to the danger: “Bloody hell, those people are about to stray from the apocalyptic dogma! How dare they!”. It’s a sacrifice his cult is requiring of him because in his heart Ben despises and hates us, viscerally. We’re the minions of Satan, no less, bent on destroying his club. So he takes upon him to write a handful of posts sure to sow the hatred, chaos and confusion the Arsebollah revels in. He can’t totally contain himself but is skillful enough to evade Holic’s vigilance.
The effort must have been breathtaking. What Holic’ pointed out @82 is a teeny tiny fraction of the resentment and hatred Ben and is ilk harbor towards us, it surely has been a tremendous effort to keep it low-key. Still it was well worth it. Ben is now contemplating the fruitful result of his mission. We haven’t discussed one bit our love for Arsenal and the positives from last season that this wonderful post was alluding to. Instead we’ve been set up to perpetuate the cycle of infighting and negativity.
Ben won the battle, smart tactics, good execution. Well done Mr Laden!
He might have won the battle mate, but he’ll never win the war. Arsenal’s about people, good people. And those on here give me great cause for optimism for the future.
@Steve T: Woj was also in that 2009 youth team if memory serves well. The jury is still out on the others but if we can get 2 players of the caliber of LJW and Woj in every generation it will be an very decent ROI.
Matt, from memory the keeper who player when I saw the youth team play was a ad called James shea. I was also trying to think of those players that had come through having been at the club since they were 10 etc. I was not including those that we had imported in their late teens.
The 2009 side was predominantly English. They played some wonderful stuff yet very few seem to have been able to make the next step. I was just wondering why that was the case. All looked more than capable to me.
Time will tell Esso but the Arsebollah and the atmosphere of gloom and doom they impose on the Arsenal websphere are wearing out many Arsenal supporters. Even the mood of the bar has changed of late in a way I personally find disproportionate to the events of last season.
God forbid we start playing at the level of our financial investment, the mob will burn the players, managers and bord members at the stake…
Steve T: Indeed I remember James Shea now. I wonder if we’re perhaps judging a bit early as LJW is a prodigy and the rest of that generation is still very young.
As for the ones truly made in Arsenal could it be that it more or less coincides with the development of our academy. I don’t remember exactly when it was done but LJW would have been among the first generation of players having started their training at this age at the academy.
tabs @ 164 – you loony choon – brilliant.
Btw, I note PHW in sumo wrestler outfit and Wolfgang Smallballs in Speedos, your subconscious must be a very dangerous place to be 😉
@201 Matt;
I know exactly what you’re saying, and the atmosphere on line and increasingly at the ground over the last two seasons, has led me to wonder why I still bother. But then I talk to real Arsenal people, well real to me, like those I know on here in person – ‘holic, Ollie – and like with supporting the club, you have to stand by your mates.
Dont let the bastards grind you down.
Morning Holicses,
tabs – genius again. That PHW rant had me in f*cking, c*nting tears. You even weaved in Ben, does he deserve the fame. Thanks for helping to brighten our nights/days 🙂
Trev – enshrined in an episode of BTA, eh? It’s no more than you/PHW deserve 😉
Good old Arsenal, we’re proud….
Fine post BTM – ewww to be ahh Gooooner!
TABS – please pass on my congrats to PHW for an inspired rant – it seems the whole sumo thing somehow brings the best out of him. Will he be wearing the gear in the directors’ box come the new season? my fingers are crossed.
And who let the kids out of the creche yesterday? – the place reeks of cheese and onion, and there are not so smarties all over the floor – and silly willy drawings on all the toilet doors. Oh well i’ll get a cloth.
Up The Arse!
No grinding here Esso 😉
Tabs, that PHW rant is crazy! 😉
Cheers
Special drink for Esso! 😉
Now I have to read tabs’ Episode 6. After the drinks above, my expectations are very high! 😛
Matt. You may well be right. I do remember seeing Jack play at 16 and he was in a different league then. I have heard that people at the club actually think he is ahead of Cesc in his development for the same age. I guess we will have to wait and see how many others eventually make it.
BTM. I am there on the Saturday. Sadly work commitments mean just the one day and will also prevent my appearance at the tollie. However, if you are about inside the ground and fancy a quick brew we could hook up then? I think we are in block 2 or 3. Get holic to forward you my e mail address and we can go from there.
I have to stop from bursting out laughing. I’m not on my own in this office, dammit!
That PHW rant was just excellent!
Bottle of your best champagne for tabs, barman, please!
tabs, that was the best episode of BTA so far! Imagine seeing and hearing PHW do that rallying speech for real… and I have to agree with your post @191, I have seen little that suggests PHW has anything but the best interest of the club at heart. Maybe even too much sometimes, a few of those PR gaffes are probably the result of simply being a bit too eager to defend the club.
As for JET, he sadly hasn’t got the right mindset to make it, it seems. He is perhaps the most talented player for many years bar Jack Wilshere, but he can’t be arsed. He’s got size, a fair amount of pace, a really good shot, can play in a number of positions – but his attitude stinks. I saw him play a game last season when he was on loan at Cardiff or wherever it was and he basically just walked around and looked like he was bored out of his mind. He should have been itching to prove himself but instead just did nothing. Compare that to Lansbury, a far more limited player but who worked his socks off for Norwich to the point of them wanting him back for another year even now that they have been promoted.
SteveT: actually, depending on how you see things I’d say two of those 2008/9 players have already made it. Jack Wilshere is the obvious one, but I would also count Szczesny because he would have been part of that team if he hadn’t broken both (!) arms in the gym at the start of the season, James Shea bascially only played because Woj was injured. Frimpong, Lansbury and Bartley are knocking on the first-team door as well but even if “only” two players make it and become regulars in the team then that would be a great result. Even if you discount Szczesny and Bartley on account of not having been at the club for very long we could still have Jack, Frimpong and Lansbury.
Don’t really bother with other blogs but after coming across the fall out from yesterday’s dummy-spitting tantrum thought i’d have a peep at where the brats maybe get their juice from.
Went to the obvious one and he actually opens his latest posting by slagging off new boy Gervinho because Gervinho is not his real name (what????), and then goes on to slag him off for not speaking good english in his first Arsenal interview. The lad hasn’t even pulled on an Arsenal shirt yet and a self-declared Arsenal supporter with a public following/forum is caning him already.
Shaken to the very core and no longer sure of anything i looked up the dictionary definition of supporter – just in case i’d been deceiving these many years past, here ’tis …
1. A person who approves of and encourages someone or something (typically a public figure, a movement or party, or a policy).
2. A person who is actively interested in and wishes success for a particular sports team.
You really do have to wonder whether some people might actually be pissed off even if the Le Proff betters what he’s done in the last few years after the le Cul De Sacs of determined disapproval they seem to be disappearing up.
Up L’Arse!!!
TABS – swearing and ranting at it’s very finest. And the perfect targets too. The C*nts.
Your usual reward is on the bar waiting for you.
pardon – ‘myself’
Morning chaps ,
Thank you all for your kind words – seriously , it’s really appreciated .
Nas@193 – PHW is king !
Dr Z@203 I hadn’t previously joined the dots between Wolfgang and PHW 🙂 , but you’re right , my subconscious is probably not healthy !
TS @205 , cheers mate , and thanks again for the Eboue idea 🙂
And Lester@206 – now there’s an idea 🙂
Cheers Harsha and thank you Ollie for the Champagne . A glass for everyone in the Bar , Barkeeps .
Lars , thank you , and I think you’re pretty much spot on with your assessment of PHW . Also great sense re the youth stuff . Did Lansbury actually play much the year we won the Youth Cup ? Wasn’t that the year he got Glandular fever , or was that the following year ? Also , at that age , wasn’t Coquelin considered the greater prospect and above Frimpong for the DM role ?
On a separate note , brilliant posts by Matt@197 and Esso@198 .
Cheers Dr C – much appreciated .
217 posts! will anyone read this far?
Great to put it all into perspective BTM. Trouble was all the crap seemed to come at once and at the end where it tends to get remembered. Things will get better.
Good point lars but I was not including those we had brought to the club as 17/18 year olds. I guess the thing was that they all looked so talented I guess I expected.more to make the step up.
JET is a big disappointment. His attitude is shocking as stated. What a waste.
Yes Lars. Lansbury made a real contribution to the success of The Canaries. I’m sure we all hope he makes it in red and white.
ND@217
Don’t be a such a lightweight 😉 – we have gone past 500 drinks in at least one session before this past season.
Once our 2 resident pharmacists get going we stay up all night….
What zico said. And who knows what’s going to appear after the Green Tin and the White Tin now?
The ultimate Tin Tin maybe?
The complaint about most other Arsenal blogs is they either lack style or they lack substance. Certainly the same cannot be said about Goonerholic, what with the style exhibited by ‘holic, tabs, BtM and the other usual suspects, combined with the substantively informative posts. In addition, we a related substance issue which some might refer to as substance abuse but which adds quite a bit to the entertainment value. STYLE! SUBSTANCE! GIVE US MORE!
Tin Tin heh, like it Ollie.
The one with the cakes, that’s the Bun Tin’
The one with the smokes, that’s the Nico Tin
The one with the powder, that’s the Snor Tin.
Dr Z I hear ya 🙂
Ollie – Drinks powered by TT’s , liking it 🙂
Press release:
D L Ltd are proud to announce a new sponsor for the coming season – TNT.
An explosive deal has been struck with the pharmaceutical giant, Tin ‘n’ Tin (TNT).
A Company spokesman has said “this news will be dynamite in the world of rail transport and will revolutionise the way we think about match day travel”.
The Company spokesman refused to comment on speculation that D L Ltd customers will be specially vetted to “weed” out (our emphasis) any travellers who are unable to demonstrate staying power, on what is recognised as the company’s longest and arduous journey to date.
Press release ends
Cheers, tabs.
And good work, zico. I think we need a new shelf.
We also need an artist to make a graphical impression of the HT Mk II.
Leading to Goonerholic T-shirts, etc…. 😛
So does this mean we are interested or does the bid mean we are not really interested
http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/14235150.stm
Arsenal bid low and the Toffees demand high and we meet in between or Arsenal walk away saying we’ll look elsewhere….
Thoughts people?
Dr Z -brilliant stuff 🙂 🙂
Ollie – great idea – someone can make a few bob there – I’d buy one 🙂
Genuinely no idea Dr Z @229 .
What I would say is that the days of ” its on the BBC so therefore it must have some veracity ” , are long gone unfortunately .
Wouldn’t be surprised if the story is just a rehash of other tabloid guff .
As either Blogs or Yogi pointed out this morning the tabs were reporting last week that Jag himself had turned us down , so something doesn’t stack up .
On my limited viewing of Blackburn , Everton and Bolton , I would say Jag is the best of the three targets .
If the story does have an element of truth , and AW has identified Jag as the man to rectify a known weakness , then I say just go and get the deal done , even if it does mean you’re paying over the odds . Everton don’t want him to leave , so I think you have to pay top dollar , if you want him .
Will Arsenal do so ? Judging on previous windows , my guess would be unlikely .
tabs: Lansbury played in both finals at least, and in any case he is of that generation. And yes, you are correct about Coquelin being considered the better of the two at the time, at least that is how I remember it too.
SteveT: that’s why I added the “even if we discount” bit 🙂 It would be a great result to get two of Jack, Frimpong and Lansbury to become regulars and getting all three to become regulars would be almost amazing.
zico@229: the only thing I can guarantee you is that some people will scream “COME ON WENGER, SPEND SPEND SPEND SPEND!!!!111!1!”. But I agree with tabs, he is the best one of the three that are continually being linked to us.
Trivia question, by the way: the first time Phil Jagielka played a home game against Arsenal, he started on the bench and was subbed on in the second half. But in what position was he brought on? (and don’t go do any googling now!)
Actually, Coquelin, I thought he was only on loan last season or did we sell him?
I see no trace of him even in the Reserves friendlies.
Ollie, he was on loan but I have no idea what the idea is for next season.
Coquelin was on loan in France , Ollie – didn’t always play , but generally got pretty favourable reviews .
No idea on the trivia question Lars , but the answer is obviously a bit outlandish , so I’m going for Centre-forward . Either that , or he went in goal ?
tabs, I’ll see if any others will want to have a go before I give you the answer 🙂
Fair enough Lars 🙂 . Btw thanks for the Lansbury info above .
Lars – Sheffield Utd – midfield?
Wasn’t Jagielka the keeper?
According to the ever reliable (not) wikipedia, Gourcuff wants to keep him (and Sunu) next season for another loan.
I’m just surprised he didn’t feature in any pre-season. Or is there any other under 21/20/19/18/17/whichever age tournament to blame for this?
That’s Coquelin, obviously, not Jagielka.
8 ball got the right answer, as did tabs on his second attempt 🙂 Jagielka came on to replace Paddy Kenny, Neil Warnock used to nominate five outfield players (only five were allowed at the time) and no keeper as subs if Jagielka was one of the five because apparently he is quite a good goalie as well. The game in question finished 1-0 to Sheffield United, in case you have suppressed your memories of the game it was a god-awful afternoon, it was pissing down with rain, the ref gave Sheffield a penalty (and a red card for Senderos) for a tackle that was nowhere near inside the area, which gave them the winning goal. Also, in the same game that complete and utter idiot Phil Morgan hit Robin van Persie in the ribcage with a right-hook that would have decked Mike Tyson – and then the fuckwit had the gall to moan about Arsenal players behaving badly on the pitch (but he was suspended for three games becuse the tv cameras caught the punch which the ref didn’t). Morgan, by the way, actually almost killed (literally – it was touch and go for a while) a player the other year when he elbowed him in the head and fractured his skull which lead to internal bleeding and emergancy surgery was needed to save his life.
Lars – you’re right ( again ) , Phil Morgan is someone who shouldn’t be allowed anywhere near a football pitch . Damn , he should have featured in the PHW rant !
…and his name isn’t even Phil Morgan, it’s Chris Morgan. Don’t know where I got Phil from, must have been all the talk about Phil Jagielka that played tricks on my mind.
I was going to point that out, Lars, first looking why he would be nicknamed ‘Phil’. 😛
Good thing I beat you to it the, Ollie 🙂
Add an ‘n’ immediately before the comma and my last post makes a lot more sense…
Nevermind if he was called Phil or Chris, he played like a drunken lout. Captain Morgan perhaps more apt?
A drink for all the lads please, some great posts above.
He is probably related to Roger Morgan – useless Dumbo who played for the Spuds in the seventies .
Afternoon H2H , cheers for the Beer .
Afternoon All
Good to see a bunch of lively posts up there, some real corkers too:
Matt @ #197 – Magnificent. Arsebollah and Ben-Laden indeed!
Ollie @ #222, Dr.z @ #224 & 226 – Hilarious. DLL now doing press releases. I’d better check with Edwin to see if he’s got anything brewing (other than farts) for the PR people 😉
Lars @ many – You are our very own Arsenal equivalent of Wikipedia but far less boring. That’s a compliment BTW.
Drinks for all these finechaps please Mr. Barman and for all the other positive contributors (that’ll be just about all of them then)
CMC, GT, WT & TT all open….Huzzar!
zico @ 224
The one with the press releases, that’s the Bulle Tin 🙂
Hey TS , I think you know what’s coming …. … I’ll get my pipe 🙂
Excellent tabs. A mini battle won. I’ll fetch the gold ones 🙂
The one with Arsene’s favourite dessert, that’s the TarteTa Tin
*looks for Ollie’s coat and leaves quietly*
Anyone lacking in energy for the long train trip ahead we’ve got the Crea Tin , and anyone who needs a rub-down in the Sports Carriage , we’ve got the Gela Tin .
The one with the Texan llama residue, that’s the Blea Tin
The one that zico cries into, that’s the Gree Tin
OK, OK, I’ll stop now….
Crea Tin, phnaar 🙂
…. on a similar theme, the one for bodybuilders and/or jam makers, that’s the Pec Tin
Heh, TS is on a roll………
………………….
…………………………. sorry no pun.
This could get us to 300 …
Waits for Bendtner’s Highfalu Tin to appear.
Heh Ollie! That’s the best Tin so far 🙂
Hey Ollie @261 🙂
The one for ‘Awwy Twitchknapp & Luka Modric,
that’s the Brokeback Moun Tin
G’day ‘holic and ‘holics,
I see all the regular nutters are up to their regular hijinks. Well done folks! And another entertaining BTA episode tabs.
For anybody that’s interested, Miquel will be in the starting XI for the Spain U19 match today v Belgium.
I think a Leffe is in order. Cheers all.
err sorry @262
Afternoon Stingy .
TS@265 – brilliant , laugh out loud 🙂
Jeez, Ollie a new shelf?
We’re gonna need an aluminium plant (that’s aluminum to you 8 ball) 😉
With regards to your 265, TS, you’ve got to love the main picture on F365:
http://images.football365.com/11/07/496×259/HarryRedknappandLukaModric_2621924.jpg
with the caption ‘Rednapp pleads with Modric to stay’.
Cheers tabs @ #268
Dr.z @ #269, quite right. At this rate we’re going to need a dedicated Tin Carriage for the HT so I guess that’s another good reason to stop this nonsense. Unless our new sponsors wish to foot the bill? 😉
Ollie, great pic. I think he’s just telling him how he wants to be warmed up 😉
I no likey chicken badge
I no understandy word triffic …. 🙂
Sweet mother of God. I go out for one afternoon and you lot are on the Columbian talc again 🙂
Afternoon ‘Holic, marching on and on….
Afternoon ‘Holic , was it the lovely sunshine you went out for . Best staying in , all you could wish for in this Bar .
Mornin’ / Afternoon Holics,
My humble suggestion for initial HT Mk II design…
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_kC5MT2r5U8s/Sy9mH3DhxII/AAAAAAAANKc/WO-F-RGnrfc/s1600-h/soul+train.jpg
For all those who buy a ticket and come aboard, a commemorative package of Celebra Tin.
*Celebra Tin courtesy of Dr. Z pharmaceuticals Ltd. and Lonestar Farms, LLC*
Lonestar , hey on the money 🙂
Looks like this is copyrighted. Hang on, who’s the driver?
http://www.gospelgifs.com/clips/clipz22/images/hptrn12.gif
Silent Stan, driving us onward to victory through harmony…
Here’s the anthem we’ve been waiting for…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i1rkfQ1CCcQ
Took the management to an appointment in Savernake, TaBS, so mooched around Marlborough for a bit.
Off for a days golf tomorrow, and the forecast is mercifully kind, so I will be reporting on the Cologne game with a bit of a hangover I expect…
Have a good one ‘Holic , go find those birdies 🙂
Will look forward to the report .
Ollie, I’m not sure that religious-themed material should be brought into the bar.
That could be viewed as Temp Tin the wrath of the football gods.
*where’s my coat?*
Re: Happy Train anthem @281, Is that Dr. Z with the sunflowers sprouting out of his guitar?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_yD59Ft2T7g&feature=related
This should be on the HT MkII Plasmas as a pick me up.
Heh @ the HT Mk II designs..
I see it’s pun-tastic at the bar tonight
When will Almunia and bendy be par tin ways with the Arsenal?
Rain has been bel tin down all day here…c*n tin day at work,too
I should really be depar tin before some one finds out I stole the green tin from the CMC…oops
*gets coat*
More Cesc stuff – is the prevailing wind of the longesttransfer inArsenal’slonghistoryeversincetheonejustbeforeitwhichmightormightnothavebeenlongerever – starting to blow thisaway?
http://gu.com/p/3vkeb
There may yet be no par tin of the ways … Cesc’s dad who is of course his agent may come out soon and say so …
pardon young Dein is of course Cesc’s man but it’s his pop who will surely announce the no pa tin of the ways thing should it happen
Ureds!
And Lester – Cesc’s agent is Darren Dein.
BtM and a few others, despite the current euphoria, news reach me that the Tollington is refurbishing/expanding and only re-opening on August 12th.
So we’ll have to arrange alternative meeting place.
And Lester@288, that link led us to some good wri tin’.
Storey@251: more or less unimportant facts have a way of get tin stuck in my brains…
Lars@293 – perhaps the wry tin is on the wall – or is that illegal?
Ollie, surely you mean a new mee-tin’ place? 🙂
Oh, and in response to your picture linked@270, the Guardian Gallery has a few really great ones this week:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/gallery/2011/jul/19/the-gallery-luka-modric-tottenham
I especially like the brilliant work done in the “Fools and Horses” one.
And Lester: as long as everyone is above the age of eight tin it’s ok!
Thanks for that Lars. And ahh Mee-Tin, of course! 🙂
The pain tin where all the pictures/images of last season’s late collapse are stashed and kept hidden never to see the light of day again
someone up there did say this could get us 300 – i’m game
The Plan tin – where all bonkers/bananas ideas re the The Arse (especially those spouted on certain other blogs) are kept below the counter where they belong
300 you say?
Well played Ollie you’ve been at the b tin i c
Wow, Ollie see what you started?
DLL Management would just like to say that (a) yes the HT will look psychedelic to at least some of its patrons (posts 279 and 281 refer) and (b) any likeness in any of these images to real DLL personnel is purely co-incidental.
Now where did I put my water?
Not to mention the 4 points that went in the direction of the lane.. Fab and gang want to leave because they see you as under achievers driven by fans who expect to much!
If only we had that problem.
I was talking to a mate who goes to the spurs every home game with his dad and family. I asked would you rather spurs stay the same and keep the lane the same or go /move anywhere for bigger gates and more cash to splash to improve the team.. He was happy to stay at the lane and win the occasional cup.
Do you guys miss Highbury and all the success that goes with it. Do you think the spurs scarf and other voodoo effects buried in the imaginates are the issue.. who wants the library back.. ?
Ah Cusop,
You know, you really shouldn’t drop by the bar AFTER you’ve been drinking…
You should come early for some comfor tin to take your mind off the LWCs.
I wonder how Sp*rs supporters feel about the Retrea Tin that went along with the fall from the Champions League.
In the words of that mighty Gooner Jay-Z, “Grand Opening…Grand Closing”
Cusop, come back when you’ve counted to 50, you soft LWC.
However long our wait to win the league again, it will be like yesterday compared with your mob of never achievers.
Pity your move to Stratford fell through – how full is the begging bowl now?
Oh and don’t let the door hit you on the arse on your way out.
Be civil gents. Shattered delusion is a painful experience 😉
You’ll need scaffolding round that place to keep it standing soon, cus. Begging for public money because you can’t afford anywhere else.
Only answer I can see is a move to a brownfield site, in Woolwich perhaps?
Aww Hols’,
You never let us have any fun… 🙂
Guess I’ll take a Guinness instead – on Lars’ tab of course.
Blinding! Love the analysis of last season…
Can’t wait for the new season and as ever, I’m ridiculously optimistic about it… do we ever learn!!!
Up the arse
Cusop , Good Evening . Your mate doesn’t have a choice . That , my pet Spud , is the point .
Hey guys, I just thought of the perfect soundtrack for what went on earlier tonight:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eNw45DYfAlM&ob=av2n
I just love listening to this man (when he’s not bullshitting us in pressers 🙂 ).
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/football/teams/arsenal/8652696/Arsenal-manager-Arsene-Wenger-QandA-Cesc-Fabregas-and-Samir-Nasri-both-love-this-club.html
He did say this though : It’s always better to get rid of someone who is too disturbing rather than keep him because he has the quality.
I wonder if that’s the case with Cesc and Nasri.
Then again, it was the same situation last year and he didn’t “get rid” of him.
Bartomeu was in London and met with Arsenal but no offer was made. Are they fucking serious? Do they need lessons on how to do a deal cause they sure as hell don’t seem to know what they’re doing (Ibra for Etoo+45M(!!!!!!) is the worst piece of business ever).
Great link Snir – thanks . The man speaks so much sense .
Does anybody know what Cusop stands for? I mean, is it an acronym and if so please break it down.
Snir @313 – Agreed on that one. Worst deal I’ve ever seen in my life. I think Eto’o is better than Ibra straight up. The extra bucks dished out were totally adding insult to injury.
There’s a Spuds’ scarf and voodoo effects buried under The Grove? Is this true? Or is this just some sort of (Cusop/Spuds) urban legend?
Jimmy Hoffa is supposed to be buried under Giants Stadium in NJ … sleeping with the cement 😉
SV – It’s not just “extra bucks”, it’s 45M! I mean, how much does that make Etoo worth?
45M! That’s what they need to pay for Cesc but they’re dragging their feet for 2 seasons, maybe they just need to imagine that Cesc is Ibra.
Snir,
Again, worst deal they ever made and by far. Pep wanted Eto’o out before Pep’s first season but there were no serious buyers. They waited a year later and Pep didn’t like Eto’o’s attitude and was desperate to get rid of him. So they made a hasty move motivated by Pep’s desperation to get rid of him. Still, it was the worst move Pep ever made and Barça too as far as my memory serves. They got nowhere close to FMV on that deal and were effectively raped. Combine that with fact that they sold Ibra to ACM just one year later for only €24m spread over three years and the whole episode is utterly laughable.
Now, all clubs that want to do business with them see them as transfer market idiots. We want to get maximum value for Cesc and they want Cesc for a minimum bargain. We do have to set a firm deadline, like the end of July (as we’ve done), so that we have time to make deals to strengthen the team as much as possible after losing the Maestro (if it happens). We can’t let negotiations drag on all summer and then lose him at the last second without a chance to get others in before Sept. 1st (worst case scenario for me).
From Barça’s perspective, they would want to do a deal, if they are serious, before we play our 1st leg UCL qualifier. If he plays in either of those two games he becomes cup tied to Arsenal and his value goes down considerably from Barça’s perspective until the next summer. I think the real deadline is the first leg of the UCL qualifier.
Hey Snir. Have you got an answer to #317?
And an answer to #315 please. Anybody? #315 & #317. Cheers.
A brief, very late look in, sadly.
Snir @ 312 – good link, cheers.
Matt @ 197 and And Lester @ 213 – great posts. Apologies to many others not mentioned.
Stingy at 315 – Cusop stands for the national anthem, and late Arsenal fans trying to get to their seats.
As I missed all the puntastic fun earlier ,may I offer a tin for myself and Cusop to share, if it’s not too late ?
It is, of course, the Disappoin Tin.
G’night.
Stingy @ 317 – the only thing buried under The Grove are Sp*rs’ hopes of ever catching up with us.
G’night, again.
SV @ 315
I believe “Cusop” means “house of.” As in “House of the “mighty” Sp*rs” Ha!
They are so deluded. Whenever I get too dejected, I thank the Lord in Heaven that: (1) I graduated from the University of Texas (Neither an Aggie nor a Sooner be…) and (2) I’m not a spud…
Up the Arse!
Trev – Cheers for your responses. Have a Rickard’s White once you get a chance. And keep up those 🙂 😉 🙁 now that you’re a professional at more than just back (mis)alignments, voodoo, and related witchcraft 😉
And cheers to you too there LG for your response.
I’m still not quite certain that I got the right answer for either of my Qs but such is life. I’ll just have to go with the flow. If anyone else can submit their answers to #315 & #317 they are more than welcomed.
LG, have a Rickard’s White yourself. I find it a perfectly refreshing Kanadian brewski on such a hot and humid Canuck day. A day, I’m sure, you’re more than used to down in the Lonestar State. And take it easy on the llamas. I’m not so sure they’re built for strenuous activities 😉
So it’s just me and Julio down by the schoolyard. Me and Julio down by the schoolyard …
Julio is our new signing out of the Barça la masia btw … not what you’re thinking there Wolfgang 😉 No Speedos involved. Just a lot of one touch passing 🙂
What is that? The happy ship? If so we need some happy colors. Otherwise we would have insisted on painting it black. 😉
(Edit – It’s been sunk!)
Is the happy ship going to be steaming into Germany for our game this weekend?
Trev@322 ta for that – and get tin! with the classy Cusop put down –
SV re the aboves handle – i heard somewhere that it was an anagram of soppy c@@t abbreviated then reversed
apologies ‘holic if that goes beyond the bounds of decent hospitality usually shown in the bar but i was simply repeating what i’d heard (from the voices in my head)
And besides should i ever bump into him in the bar i’ll buy him a double for old times sake – along with 3 doubles for myself.
Up The Arse!
I just saw Carlos Tevez’ brother in a pub in southern Kanada! I swear.
Meanwhile, it’s hot as hell here while it’s still snowing in Minnesota …
Cusop – Cunts up somewhere over pissyonder …
Come on ‘holics. Rise and shine.
There’s golf to be played 😉
I’ll tend bar, then 🙂
@317Stingy Voyageur According to a mate (‘holic knows him as well), this is bollox or urban legend. He’s in the building trade and said overall security was pretty fucking tight including searches coming on-site every day, etc.
Can never understand why burying a shirt would bring bad luck anyway? Lets hope we go back to burying the LWC’s twice a season, like we used to.
zico – Nope. Too early for you yet. Go back to sleep 😉
I’ll wait for you in the 19th, Holic….
Esso,
There is a history of similar ‘feats’ in footy. I can’t think of the Argentine club team at the moment but the legend goes that one of their clubs moved venues to a brand spanking new facility and their biggest rivals were allegedly successful with planting numerous dead cats underneath their rivals’ proposed new grounds. It brought the new occupants bad luck for many moons without silverware.
Without doing further research I’ve heard it on more than on one occasion. As far as I know it is legit. And I believe Cusop and his lot have co-opted it to suit their own pathetic agenda.
just a random thought
regarding the CB situation, why would someone famous want to be a 4th choice CB at Arsenal?
beacuse knowing our injury record he would be 1st/2nd choice by November .
like i said a random thought 🙂
no such luck, SV, I have to “work” 😉
Re: Stingy @332, I may also have seen brother Tevez down here in “snowy” Minnesota, where the record heat has abated thank god. Was he riding a huge motor bike, his scar bleeding just slightly?
Re: Drinks 329 and 330 I swear I saw a happy ship in the drinks but it seems to have turned into a ghost ship and that is not good. It either means I am coming down with scurvy (bowl of oranges please, barman!) or that pirates are lurking in the vicinity. But it seems the captain used his cannon to good effect and shot them out of the water. 🙂
My little gripe at the moment is the way we SEEEM to be going about looking for a defender – it’s as if we have identified a price that we are willing to pay (circa 10mill) and then looking around to see who we can shoe horn in for that amount, rather than identifying exactly who we want and then making the deal happen (within reason).
Just my impression, obviously, but it was brought on by the reports of the offer we made for Jageilka being lower than last season….. exactly what we get our panties twisted about with Barca.
Anyway, that said, I’ll get back on the HT. Fuck all I can do about it…
CG – We’re not doing the same. Difference is, this was our first bid this season.
Barca had 5 bids (2 from last summer) of 29,31,26,31 and 35.
Now you tell me that isn’t disrespectful? And no it is not a double standard, cause AW opened the bidding at 10M, doesn’t mean he’ll pay only 10M. He might pay more, he might not pay at all and move to the next target, but to bid this low for a player they seem to want for ages is ridiculous.
Dr. C, Is the HT MkII visit to the north shore of Lake Superior still scheduled for early August? The timing looks good now that the uncomfortable heat has abated and there’s a handsome ‘shrooming opportunity for all intrepid travelers for consumption on the spot and to lay in a goodly supply for the brown tin. 😉
Well, what do you know? Just as I hit submit I go off to read today’s arseblog and see that we think the same.
I can only say, great minds think alike 😉
Anyway, CG – How come you haven’t become an Espanyol fanatic? Living with those Barca supporting Catalan cunts must be horrible.
Holic,
Ill be doing my golf at the weekend got two rounds to play at the belfry thanks to a kind boss 🙂 Im awfull at the game but love the stroll and of course the 19th 😉
Morning All,
nasri @#345 – Re: ‘Brown Tin’ please co-ordinate your supply with Harsha and thanks for your support. The management of DL Ltd will be eternally grateful 🙂
Post of the decade @ #303?
‘….driven by fans who expect to much!….If only we had that problem…. He was happy to stay at the lane and win the occasional cup….’
Finally, from the mouths of the LWCs themselves they admit, as we have known for the past 50 years, that SHL is the true graveyard of ambition.
All together now…
He’s soft
Like shite
he’s dressed in lilly-white
Super cus, super cus
He’s soft
Like shite
He isn’t very bright
Super cus, super cus
—————————-
One pet
We’ve only got one pet
We’ve only got one pet
One pet
With all due respect, etc., etc.
Happy days ‘Holics and if things do get a little sticky in the new season we can comfort ourselves, safe in the knowledge that things could always be worse, we could be spuds (god forbid) 😉
CUSOP – clearly unintelligent Spurs object, pathetic.
He got me going last night, the twonk.
zico,
I thought your post at #306 summed it up perfectly.
To me, the admission that we are an ambitious club and that the LWCs are just bumbling along in a crumbling dump and are as happy as pigs in sh*t doing so was, I thought, a really bright moment for all supporters of the BIG club in N.London.
FIOS. 50 years and counting…
That’s 50 years and Count Tin btw 😉
Outstand Tin zico 🙂
The Coun Tin, I propose, will be a permanent fixture of the Noah Carriage / pets compartment.
This is still going on?
At least Count means something.
We have nobility, did you just inherit the title, zico?
That’s more like the spirit. I was going to give up and go Hun Tin.
Green Tin, White Tin, Brown Tin, Gela Tin, Crea Tin, Snor Tin, Nico Tin, Bun Tin, Coun Tin, Tin Tin and any other appropriate Tins are all the intellectual property of D L Ltd.
Any misuse and/or infringement of our brands and imagery will be met with robust litigation (once the Legal Department are out of rehab of course).
Now, as I’m barman today, what you all wan tin? 🙂
339Stingy Voyageur
OK mate, I’ll get hold of Nelly and get the full SP, cos he’s definitely in the real know about this.
G’n’T IN a long glass, ice and slice of lime please proxy barman.
I’m looking forward to Tas Tin it soon….
O.K after a long chat with my dad, we came to the conclusion that the most important signing this offseason would be a… shrink!
I mean it’d be great to replace Squillaci with a CB and Mata for Nasri but footballing wise I really don’t think there is a better team than us.
I think it’s what Song said it is. They come to games against the lesser teams thinking they’ve already won and play with 50% determination and application as opposed to the games against Chelsea, United, Barca etc. where they ran their socks off.
The frequency of which the team switches from playing great to horrible in spaces of one week only is one of the biggest symptoms if not THE biggest of a mental problem in a sports team.
We need a CB to replace Squillaci, we need to sell Nasri so we don’t lose him on a free and replace him with Mata, but we MUST deal with the mental problem these players have.
And I wasn’t kidding when I said I thought that footballing wise we’re the best team (with the best players), we really do have the best players, problem is – They DON’T have mental strength.
I totally agree with your last comment SG, I cringe whenever I hear AW use those words.
The question that I would like answered is how is an attitude of turning up for games with 50% determination allowed to develop in the first place?
I’m with you on the shrink issue, Snir. I’ve been saying that for a while. There is a big psychological problem.
Snir @ 346. I know what you mean (and I do encourage Espanyol to win so as to wind them up), but careful – those whom you call ” Barca supporting Catalan cunts”, I call ” MY FAMILY”. And living with them isn’t too bad…! 😉
‘Family’, eh? 😉
They know not what they do, Ollie!
Re: 342, 360, 362: In light of the piracy, centre back and mental strength issues, There’s still time for AW to make a brief scouting trip to the Indian Ocean to look for a hulking Somali warlord to treble as club shrink, mental toughness coach, and 4th choice centre back. Just his physical presence alone would be an improvement over Squillaci. 😉
Good day Holic.. I managed to rustle the guys up yesterday.. LOL!! By the way my rule and its holics rule .. I will poke fun and I will take it on the chin but I shall never rise to the bate!!
Holic.. How much public money did you buggers get!!! ???????? (Are you the Sun and the Times in disguise)
Lonestar I would not boast about University of Texas, its bit like saying John Ruskin is a Cambridge College.
Now the question that was failed to be answered.
DO YOU MISS THE LIBARY and the SUCCESS that went with it. Has the Imaginates with its voodoo dolls delivered. Are you all happy !! Now that you have 60,000 stadium.
What I know is that when they tell you over the tannoy that there are 60,000 and there are gaping areas where there are no bums on seats (apparently, elderly season ticket holders who refuse to come to the games and cant be arsed to put their tickets on ticket exchange.
Our pultry little stadium is rocking every week !! We are basically very happy campers!! With Twitchy and the lads!!
Will Fab go will Modric go.. MODRIC the little fella you High Professor said would be to lickle for the prem!!
Can anyone translate the above for me please?
It doesn’t seem to be written in English.
Thanks.
Wanted: One village, idiot found.
Can someone please put this mong back in his box – I’m busy pulling pints here……
Afternoon Gents.
A round for the bar please Zico, my good man.
OK, let’s get this straight, it’s not important if so called artifacts are buried under the Grove, voodoo and curses are total bullshit, I know this to be true because my psycic told me so.
As for the name Cusop, there are a number of theorys;
In old Navajo it means “deluded one” and was usually bestowed onto the member of the tribe that was a few poles short of a wigwam.
Roughly translated from Sumalian it means “picker of wrong team” but if said in a direct way can also mean Lo-oo-oo-ser.
When used in the recently (1962) extint Wiyot language the meanig is “to stand in the shade of”, or more commonly “shadow dweller”.
From personal experience, I have concluded that the average Spud
isn’t the sharpest penil in the case, so if I had to venture a guess I would say thet Cusop is an acronym for cmon u spurs, oh pleasegodwhyarewesoawful.
I didn’t know that LWCs knew about higher education. If they did, they wouldn’t be spuds…
Just sayin.
Snir @ #359 – You and your dad are right.
Ollie, zico & Lonestar – The hard of thinking seem to operate in mysterious ways.
H2H @ #370
Brilliant LOL post 🙂
I’ll have a pint of Peroni please. Cheers!
UTA! FOYS!
Maybe Cusop is a name for a medical condition much like genital warts or fungus under the toenail. We should consult our medical team for confirmation.
The other thing I heard about this Argentine club team is that after many years of relative mediocrity the club went to great lengths to try to remedy their bad luck. They went so far as to unearth their playing surface during their offseason in a search for these dead cats. Crazy but it’s supposed to be true — I saw a clip about it on a soccer report on the tv a while back. I’ll try to do a google search about it later if I get the time.
Cusop is just trying to wind us up and stole the story I you ask me.
if you ask me
If there are any Norwegians in the bar, I wish to offer to you my deepest condolences for the tragic events that unfolded today in Oslo and on Utoya.
I second that, Lars. Many condolences…
*pours out a little liquor*
I second that too Lars. Sad to see and my heart goes out to those affected.
Damn Islamic extremists at it again. They are the scourge of the earth.
Come on back ‘holic. We miss you, and hope the sandtrap didn’t eat you.
Evening Chums and Evening Cusop ,
H2H @370 – brilliant post 🙂 Pint of vodka waiting for you on the Bar .
Cusop@367 – Well you don’t give up old son , I’ll give you that . A pretty surreal post , even by your standards , though perhaps in keeping with a day in which I’ve just watched Ally McCoist , and Neil Lennon both deny that there’s any problem with the Old Firm .
First point – give me one link showing Arsenal used public money for the building of The Emirates . You can’t , can you old bean ?
Second point – Of course I miss Highbury , I grew up there , but I along with the great majority realise the move was necessary to keep us challenging at the forefront of the game . Still , you’ve got an increasingly stingy Bermuda- based Billionaire to rely on LOL .
Third point – Just totted up my visits to Shite Hart Lane over the years , and I reckon it’s about 30 . Could I ask you how many times you visited Highbury to allow you to perpetually describe it as a Library ? Just interested .
Back in the mid-seventies , as a wide eyed 10 year old I was taken around the hallowed marble halls , the dressing rooms with their underfloor heating , the state of the art facilities and was quite overcome with the grandeur of the place . Some weeks later , my father mentioned we would be doing the same tour around Shite Hart Lane . Thinking I was being punished I protested , but my father mumbled something about making me realise how lucky I was to be a Gunner . Along I went . There was literally nothing to see . Wallpaper peeling off , Linoleum curling up in the corners , all photos in black and white . The place had about as much grandeur and glamour as my Grandma’s living room . The highlight was receiving a stale jammy dodger .
Fast forward to the present , and not much has changed . WHL has been given a lick of paint , but to me it resembles London Zoo , and more specifically the monkey enclosure . No-one really wants to go any more do they , not really . Gone are the heady days when people queued round the block to see Guy the Gorilla or Jimmy Greaves . The monkey Enclosure might from a distance appear noisy and even look quaint , but get closer and you realise the ” noise ” is total gibberish . Get closer still and you realise the place stinks of piss and its inhabitants are torn between either fighting each other or playing with their bollocks .
Good Evening to you .
Second your thoughts Lars on the Norwegian tragedy .
Tabs, You brought that Cusop monkey down to size quite effectively.
My condolescences to the Norwegians and shame on those who committed this awful attack.
380takeabowson
Funny as hell .. made my day!! If only you knew what I know! Thanks for making the non season a fun day !! I shall bring forth my pokey pointy stick shortly !!
I never attended the Libary, but was unforgettably in the position to have many free tickets to your current monstrosity. I took the opportunity to take a friend of mine there who was over from Yanky land! Had couple of WAGs sitting behind me with the kiddies.. Must say its a quiet place for 60K of peeps. And the ritual of leaving 15 minute before half time for a tea and tiddles is quite amazing!! Even beats the caviar and champagne mob at Wembley! Then the 10 minutes before the final exodus would have even Moses crying ( with laughter) And the big rush to Finsbury Park was a sight for saw eyes.
When asked by Yanky friend why do they leave so early. My answer was that these so called fans think its Rugby!!
Fast forward to the present , and not much has changed . WHL has been given a lick of paint , but to me it resembles London Zoo , and more specifically the monkey enclosure . No-one really wants to go any more do they , not really . Gone are the heady days when people queued round the block to see Guy the Gorilla or Jimmy Greaves . The monkey Enclosure might from a distance appear noisy and even look quaint , but get closer and you realise the ” noise ” is total gibberish . Get closer still and you realise the place stinks of piss and its inhabitants are torn between either fighting each other or playing with their bollocks .
PSML!!!
Ouch!!
Cusop , glad I made your day 🙂 and thanks for confirming that you never went to Highbury . I shall bear that in mind when you next spout off on all things Arsenal .
Still waiting for that link …
@363 – CG, I wasn’t sure if they’re Barca fans but I was sure they’re Catalans so added that before the words Catalan cunts.
My bad;)
I will say that Cusop does have a point regarding The Grove being very quiet and the fans leaving early.
Other than that I cannot see much sense in everything else he says. I didn’t know that simians can write and speak. Is this Planet of the Apes?
The tragic events in Norway today could be the result of Norwegian newspapers reprinting the Danish Mohammad cartoons amongst other grievances. Killing innocent people over a cartoon you see as offensive. How sick and demented is that? That is the definition of disproportionate.
H2H @ 370 – excellent stuff.
Tabs @ 380 – ditto 🙂
Trying to think of reasons why Cusop spends most of his time on Goonerholic or visiting The Emirates ?
Oh yeah, they would be two very good ones . . . . .
CUSOP – Cheer Useless Spuds Outta Pity ? 😉
H2H @ 370 – nice one, hope you enjoyed the Grolsch
Trev @ 389 – because we are nice to stray pets – well some of us 😉
Guvnor left clear instructions to be civil but……
What Lars said @376
Don’t be to Hard on Cusop he’s not to bad for one of that lot in fact he can at times be quite amusing !!! He’s almost as good at magic as he is talking bollocks how else could you describe his 3 month vanishing act last season,
Me I miss Highbury massively and would go back in a shot if I didn’t think it would hurt the club in the longterm and that Mr Cusop is where your fucked – No money and No chance of affording your own your left to the courts and begging bowels you as a force are stuck in the 60s and have no future enjoy the backwaters as we enjoy the fruits of our labour in the years to come,
Trev @390 – That’s the best acronym I’ve seen this far. Personally, I’d like to see “simian” somehow incorporated. But that’s just me 🙂
s/b thus far. Damn phone.
Thanks Trev, but I prefer
Courageous Upperty Spud Oppresses Pikeys
LOL
I think it was tough season at the Imaginates this year, so much expectation and yet so many banana skins. Did not even to get your milk to drink out of the cup, stolen at the last minute by a bunch of relegation fodder brumies .. I reckon that if it gets much worse you should rent out the imaginates for monster truck conventions, you could have them drive over your caravans
I’ll get me coat LOL
Everyone going for the big 500 I see. Will put my tuppence worth in. Listened to Paddy talking about the physicality of this team compared to his and have to agree. It all started changing when Hleb came on the scene if you ask me. My Dad found a box of spurs scarves when we were young ( fell off the back of a lorry ) We did not have to buy cleaning cloths for years.
Cusop,
Fess up. What is your moniker all about? Give us the truth now. Is it an acronym, your last name, or your simian mother’s maiden name?
Cusop – You have no right coming here and trying to laugh at us for CC final.
I’m not even sure you’re old enough to have seen a championship.
Okay ‘holics. I did some research about the dead cats/bad luck/voodoo stuff. I can’t provide a link via my phone but google, “Dead cats found under Argentine football stadium” and it’s the first article that comes up.
Apparently, one dead cat equals seven years of misfortune. Independiente buried seven of them under Racings’ stadium and they went 35 years between winning titles. Coincidence?
How many years of bad luck would a jersey or scarf of your most hated rival entail?
I say all of this not believing in superstitions mind you 😉
400 baby yeah! Get in ya bitch!!
At first they found only five dead black cats. So five times seven gets us the 35 years. But the legend said seven dead black cats so they dug up a part of the stadium until they found their seventh dead cat. The ends some will go to end a supposed curse … entertaining stuff.
Correction: I misread the article. One dead black cat equals five years bad luck. So, 5X7=35 years and Bob’s your uncle 😉
But they did win silverware, just not titles.
Did it occur to you, that they were just a bad team 😉 ?
Anyway, a scarf is not a black cat.
Too bad we couldn’t bury Ashley Cole.
Snir, one of Argentina’s big 5 going 35 years without winning the title is a very long drought amigo. And so did all their fervent fans 😉
Maybe a scarf is worth seven years? If so, that means we should win the league title this year 😉
Snir,
The Guardian is saying that we could get Mata for £20m. If so, let’s get him and offload Sami. That would be the prudent move as opposed to losing Nasri on a free next summer.
Cesc did not get on the plane, again. The official reason is an injury, again. What would Sherlock Holmes say about all this?
“I don’t want to comment individually because I do not want to destabilise clubs. I do not want to do to other clubs what some clubs do to us so I wouldn’t like to comment individually on any player
Well said Arsene
The way AW is commenting on Miyaichi over the course of this summer it seems they are determined to get a work permit for him.
I think they’ll just apply for a special talent WP.
He’s talking about him as if he’s part of the first team and not someone who might go on loan.
Hey. I just saw a guy dressed only in Speedos running along side riders up Alpe-d’Huez. I didn’t know Wolfgang Smallballs is at the Tour de Frenchie??
LOL Enjoy Holics Blog he is one of the best, my regret he is not one of us!
But for those of you who have the love of the club but not the location it is a personal issue among us.
There gooner pubs that would make many of you Puke as well as Spud ones too!
I respect your passion not your elgence!
In the next few weeks football will return and the fun begins again
allegiance sorry! PSML verly verly verly drunk
Ah Cusop. So what’s the story of your handle??
Res tin?
How about dees apples:
The same organization which not that long ago named AW as the manager of the decade just declared La Liga the best league in the world. The EPL didn’t even make the top three. So those that pooh pooh La Liga — how about dem apples?
Oh, forgot to include the obligatory 😉 at the end of the above comment.
SV,
It seems that the gunman arrested for shooting the children in Norway was connected to neo-nazis; not Islam.
Perhaps we should keep political views out of the drinks?
UTA
LG,
It may very well have been a neo Nazi this time. Although investigations are still ongoing they might yet still be involved — time will tell.
That being said, this attack had all the hallmarks of extremist Islamists who have conducted such attrocities the world over more than any other group and therefore they remain the world’s largest threat and are the scourge of the earth.
And UTA indeed.
LG, SV – Please leave it out, as an Israeli, I know my opinions are a bit more extreme than others about certain sections of the world and I really don’t want it to affect the atmosphere in the bar.
Okay. Let’s drop it. Agreed.
Good read about AW’s value to our club written by a Spud:
http://tinyurl.com/3hnq9vc
Very good link Nas , thanks , should be posted on Le Grove .
8 ball: a very interesting article.
“It’s been so long since Arsenal fans have had to deal with major upheaval that they’re crying out for a change for changes sake.”
I have thought about this as well. Maybe the biggest problems we have is that it seems we don’t really move either backwards or forwards. Perhaps a lot of people are, without really realizing it, just a bit bored?
Child Under Supervision Of Parent
Cheers Underperforming Simians On Principle
Is Ben in the Bar again with his Mum TS ? 🙂
Heh tabs, hopefully not 🙂
You win this weeks RSPCA prize for services rendered to distressed animals, well done! Great post at #380 BTW.
Am impressed that you had the stomach to visit The Shith*le so regulalry in the past, did they use your blood to find a cure for HIV?
I’ve only been twice, and hope to be back this year if only to participate in the magnificent away support and to hear the golden silence of the LWCs as we’ll no doubt bang in a few again. Are you up for it this season, assuming the ground’s still standing when the game comes around? 😉
Lars @ #424
I’ll admit to a little boredom waiting for some certainty on our squad for the coming season…. 😉
TS , cheers , made it easy as I saw a lot more wins than losses , started with a 2-1 win in 72-73 – Go on Big Raddy – and didnt miss an Arse game there from 76 to 94 . Last one was the 3-1 win in 99 when Kanu scored that great goal . Had to sit with the Spuds , and found it such a revolting experience , I haven’t been back . Juicer of choice for away games makes it easy not to go .
That said , if you can rustle up a ticket for the Arse end , count me in ! 🙂
Ok tabs, will see what’s possible nearer the date (2nd Oct @ 4PM – rubbish time for a footie game BTW) 😉
Good stuff TS . Right off to get my kit on for this afternoon’s German outing . 🙂
Fresh Speedos and polished Jimmy Cs?
Of course .
Hehs.
And somehow I doubt we’ll reach 500 before a new issue.
Ollie,
Oh ye of little faith…
I just think ‘holic will come up with something.
Though I’m guessing he’s still recovering from his golfing day, and will not publish until after the game………….
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm, yeah, 500. Easily! 🙂
One just to help us on our way….
I suppose you mean ‘one more pint of Guinness’, TS?
Walking past Sh*te Hart Lane the other day, I noticed 5 Sp*rs season tickets nailed to the front gates, presumably in disgust at their lack of transfer activity ?
Anyway, I thought ‘I’ll have those’.
Well you can never have too many nails, can you ?
great episode 6 post TaBS, cheered my day. Hope you make it to 500 everyone. Also loved the link to the Spurs site, thats my kind of football fan. Not Le Grove. Just discovered your responses yesterday for some reason and looking forward to more. Hope this afternoon goes well. In hope for a pleasing new season, and a couple of signings maybe?
Cheers 65′ . Have a tipple of your choice .
Trev @440 – Nice one 🙂
Speaking of Cologne, If a Spud wears cologne does he still stink?
Mmm, Irish whiskey, cheers and have one yourself!
PS forgot to say in first post that I really enjoy the blog too, oops, drinks to the writers too!
Team in full: Szczesny, Jenkinson, Gibbs, Koscielny, Vermaelen, Walcott, Ramsey, Song, Wilshere, Gervinho, Chamakh
contributing so that 500 can be reached…big fan of the blog and drinks…u make my day….the whole cast….
God, why do you do this to me? What have I done wrong that I’m punished with Stewart Robson for a whole match?
Gervinhoo!!!!!
2 nil to The Ar-sen-al!
myachi on …
Wil shere class
Wilshere’s dribbling ability is almost Messi like with his rapid change of directions.
Well, that’s a nice debut :D. His positional awareness is awesome but really does need a touch up on his timing on the passes on the fast break. Horrible timing.
450, Closing in on 500 now …
Oh dear Cologne stink
If Gervinho got the 2nd, who got the 1st?
re above not being negative – jus’ couldn’t resist the puntastic drive towards 500
Up The Arse!
A great first half hour from Gervihno, pity he had to go off, looking solid despite the commentators shite..Chamack a player short on confidence..its the bloody pre season ffs
Found a stream only to see the worst ever own goal by Jenkinson. 🙁
I’ve noticed every time Gibbs get caught forward and we lose possession, the back line of defense immediately try the offside trap which is something they didn’t do when Clichy got caught forward.
Not sure what I think about it yet, but one thing is for sure though – The offside trap is a lot easier without Clichy.
bt8bbnn – Gervinho got both goals, the first showed lots of technique, the second showed good poaching and positional awareness but like I said @450 his timing with passes on fast break is horrible, but then again it is only preseason.
Noel – It’s Stewart Robson, don’t listen a word he says, but Chamakh is short of confidence, don’t know how it’s possible since it is the preseason but he can’t even seem to make the easy lay-offs we all know he’s capable of.
Now i’d only voice this among fellow Gooners – but to me – from a distance – the new badge thingy does look like a largish sea bird has shat on the shirt – well done the expensively assembled marketing department!
Jenkinson’s been playing v. well – great finish – wrong end – he’ll never do that again and it’s only a friendly.
Up The Arse!
Own goal aside this Jenkinson guy really looks solid….the own goal should take nothing away from his good performance….
And Lester – on the money . Jenks had had a great half up to his aberration .
Wilshere different class .
30 minutes – two goals , it’s the year of the Dolphin fellas .
http://www.istockphoto.com/stock-photo-4411864-happy-dolphin.php
Moan moan moan complain whinge Theowalco’ bitch moan complain powaah! Complain complain bitch whinge moan Kosh-ti-elnee moan moan moan Ja’ Wilsheah.
Bitch moan complain bitch bitch whinge Suh-chesny moan moan moan bitch complain poor defending bitch bitch moan complain.
Nice to see you back , Ugandan 🙂
No need for Gibbs to be driving into the box all the time. Needs more discipline.. I hear what your saying SG and am trying to figure out his role in the side today especially when Gervihno was hogging the centre forward position, but thats always been his general style. Liked his tracking back after another pointless forray from Gibbs.
click, click, squeak, click, ah-ah-ah, click, squeak, click
*removes mic from Gervinho’s mush*
Gervinho agrees tabs! 🙂
@462 🙂
My internet connection is very rickety here at our little country house, so I am watching the game in bursts of about two mintues and then I miss about 30 seconds while the Arsenal Player rebuffers. But I managed to see all three goals, and was really annoyed that no-one came over to Jenkinson and said “forget it, shit happens” until after the final whistle – but on the other hand I was really pleased to see that it was Bacary Sagna and, to my big surprise, Samir Nasri who were the ones to walk up to him to cheer him up.
Fairly good half, I have to say. Could be a lot better in defense, but not too bad after all.
34 to go – Come on boys , mental strength and collective energy .
Btw watching it on a foreign stream – commentator making far more sense than Robson .
Lars – Arsenal player kept on rebuffing for me too but found a stream with no disturbances AT ALL!
http://atdhe.ws/live.php?v=event_id%3D55715%26tid%3D194100%26channel%3D0%26layout%3Dpopup%26Itemid%3D207.html
I usually don’t doubt AW’s footballing decisions, but what on earth is he thinking giving Gibbs the LB position?
His positioning is borderline criminal.
little Andre looks like he may’ve been on the gou lash over the summer
Ureds!
@471 Al , he was hanging out with Valuev if you look on his website…must have been trying to keep up with him at the dinner table
Three games unbeaten – ave it !!!
On my silent stream I couldn’t see who the Arsenal injured player was. Who is it?
Conor Henderson Nas
Conor Henderson.
Looks bad.
@472 noel73 i’d pay good money to see pictures of those 2 knocking about 2gether …
hooray a victory away against half-decent opposition and pretty impressed with Gervinho’s mental strength in front of goal
Far from 500, Slackers.
GWS Conor Henderson. Ouch 🙁
Thanks tabs @463…. Good work out for the boys, and that Frimpong really looks a tidy defensive midfielder…..
Yep good work out , still looked dodgy at times when we conceded possession deep in enemy territory , but any bad points massively outweighed by the cohesiveness going forward . Shame Jenks isn’t a natural left footer .
Afternoon gents, thanx for your kind words in previous posts, I’m flattered, high praise indeed.
Enjoyed the first half, thought the second was a bit disjointed (to put it nicely) A good run out for some of the lads, not so good for others, but tyhats what these games are all about, getting sharp, so we shouldn’t read too much into it.
Hope young Conner is OK, that looked like a nasty twist of the knee.
Thought Jenkinson did well, felt sorry for him with the own goal, but it was a corker, wasn’t it? Anyone else think that the poor lad was about to burst into tears, aaahhhhhh. As lars mentioned it was nice to see Sagna and Nasri consoul him.
There should be a big extra helping of tuna on the menu for Mr Gerviniho tonight, two goals on your debuet is as good a start as anyone could wish for. 😉
All in all, a wins a win so let’s get the drinks in. \o/ \o/ \o/
And Lester…Follow this link..
http://arshavin.eu/en/page.php?id=19
Like Little and Large
Excellent suggestion H2H . Lars is paying …
tabs knows
🙂
Re: Ollie @478: But how about eating the pancakes?? It’s still morning over here. Should you being carrying the burden of the task? 🙂
Noel 73 , not sure about Andre’s giraffe T-shirt , we need to get him a Llama one .
ok , getting desperate now 🙂
Noel73 – why thank you sir – an Arse win, then that. My weekend’s complete and it’s not Saturday night yet –
Ureds!
Breakfast is for slackers Nas . Fag and a pint , that’ll wake you up .
That’s my kind of brekkers, tabs, don’t forget the Bloody Mary though, one those need the vitamines a shot of vodka provides.
Tabs@483 and H2H@481: absolutely, drinks all round on my by now spectacularly large tab!
Good point , well made H2H , bloody Mary please Barkeeps .
Generous to a fault Lars 🙂
Cheers Lars, or should I say, skol!!
Is this a picture of Arshavin’s missus feeding Lonestar’s llamas???
http://arshavin.eu/file/7513.jpg
Maybe we should test which produces better progress toward 500. A good solid breakfast (coffee included) or a fag and a pint. Somehow I get the feeling you are going to win. 😉
Lars: Peruvian Anti Riot Suit wouldn’t get me so close to that beast! On the other hand, I would doff it to get close to the one on the other side of the fence. 🙂
Lars 495
That Llama looks like it’s got the hump.
Coffee on Lars’ tab please barman.
Get tin There
Well played Lester.
H2H, that’s because it only smokes Camel and Arshavin’s missus is clearly trying to feed it some weed.
Ah I can go and get sloshed tonight with my head held high . Well in AL .
Sounds like reasons to be cheerful to me Lars, Ah well, there’s just no pleasing some llamas these days I suppose.
My turn to get them in.
Lars @495 and 502 , brilliant , the inspiration we needed to get over the line .
600 anyone ? 🙂
Tabs, if you can keep your head held high then your not getting sloshed properly. 😉
Another good point very well made H2H 🙂 I shall be flailing on the roadside with a happy heart . How’s that ?
Too kind H2H@501 – i’d also like to thank me mum and dad, me Mrs., The Arsenal, the ‘holic for making all this possible – and ollie too –
And anyone who suggests that i hit that post (you know the one that nicked it!) at 498 and worded it so that it would work for 499 or 500, would be implicitly implying that i’m a sad man who ought to get a life – And i’d have to point them in the direction of the Bullshit Tin.
Up The Arse!
Cheers, tabs!
*takes a good long swig from a bottle of Fuller’s 1845*
Thats the spirit (or excess of spirits) tabs.
Well in AL and excellent acceptance speech too. Not having seen any significant part of the game I was just wondering if people think Frimpong can actually have a significant impact on our season. Opinions?
8ball, hard to tell yet but he looks like he’s got massive potential. His passing game wasn’t up to standards today, but he is really big and strong.
Too early to say Nas , but first impressions are good . Built like a brick outhouse , gets about and gets his foot in , not always legally . One very good steal of the ball and surge upfield to release AA . A number of passes went astray , but if he continues to work hard , no reason he can’t play a part and fill in for Song .
Ok chaps , great fun , thanks , the real bar beckons , good luck with the 600 .
Thanks for the further kind words gentlemen – believe me when i say – really it was nothing …
NaZ re frimpong – he looks half decent but the KLN (klingons?) midfield didn’t get in the faces of our lot – like they do in the premiership – so hard to say really – but he was neat and quite physical …
on a personal note, i hope he is good enough to break into the first team ‘cos wiv a name like frimpong we can ‘ave right old sing song ‘specially if ‘e gets involved in the odd ding dong
Up The Arse!
http://www.nme.com/news/slash/58210
Arshavin’s inspiration?
Ollie, Is “kissing” the giraffe anything like “making the llama bleat?”
Amy Winehouse RIP…A great singer..
True true Noel rip miss winehouse another one goes at 27?