Shenley In Focus
Nov 8th, 2011 by 'holic
As a follow-up to last night’s piece here are the snaps that would have been added if I had finished writing earlier than very late!
I’ll start with the obligatory external view.
Colin stressed the importance of having this stand-alone unit which means players requiring treatment can be kept largely isolated from prying eyes and other distractions that surrounded them prior to its construction.
This is the rehabilitation area, not the gym.
At the far end the impressive ant-gravity treadmill is in use, and you can see it more clearly in the next shot.
The windows set into the roof on that far wall open and close automatically to maintain a constant temperature.
Now I couldn’t go and not get a shot of the first team changing room, could I? Well, half of it anyway.
The sound system is at the end of the central unit, and Theo is in charge of that. Doubtless the contents of those boxes of energy bars make effective missiles if he makes a wrong choice.
Now I cannot end this piece without once again thanking Tom, Colin, and Gary for a truly memorable afternoon, and also so many of you for your kind comments in the drinks and on Twitter. When you look around the web today you will see a number of people who have had the benefit of the tour in the last couple of days, and the impression that everyone got from the team is one of a thoroughly professional set-up dedicated to maximising the availability and condition of the clubs most valuable assets.
What a great way to start an international break. Let’s hope that rehab facility doesn’t get any new patients in the coming days.
554 Responses to “Shenley In Focus”
Get in!!!
One man blog!!
I’m getting quite good at being the Fox in blog π
Congrats, Snir.
from previous session –
8 ball β
My llamas went away. With the Texas drought and the exorbitant price of hay, Lonestar Farms went belly-up (or into administration, if you will).
At any rate, between work and my sorrow at having lost my herd, my thoughts have been more legally orientedβ¦
Perhaps I will be able to think of jokes in the future β as for right now, Iβll just mosey over to my familiar dark corner and sip some whiskey.
Bottleβs on the bar fellas –
BMBD!
*Fox in THE blog
‘Holic,
The first team changing room looks very Ikea-ish. I mean, where are all the models and shandy? π
Wooollllffffiiiieeee!
BMBD!
Alright LG?
No models, but drink everywhere. That little room at the end is where the players make up their own energy and protein drinks, and no two are the same.
Massages happen in there too, and range from “some players would have two a day” to (no names, no pack drill) “I’m not having another man put his hands on me”.
‘Holic –
Heh, I’m with the player who wouldn’t have another man’s hands put on him…
I ALWAYS order a masseuse!
Still working on the happy-ending part, however π
As always, thanks for the clarification. I worried that WSB had already absconded with the perks that (I think) our players would need for “proper” rehabilitation and motivation.
BMBD!
That Zero-G treadmill looks amazing, hopefully will get Jack and Abou and Ryo back on the pitch asap.
PS – How many ‘doctors’ are on the books in this bar, I can’t keep count lol π
Brilliant post yesterday βholic, and great pictures today. A lovely insight into the workings of the tight βback officeβ that keeps the squad on the pitchβ¦
Bless you RVP π
Thanks snowy, but the credit is all due to Tom, Colin, and Gary.
Hopefully the club will notice the goodwill that has been generated by allowing the ‘alternative’ media to enjoy a day of access, particularly in an international break when things are not as hectic for them or us.
…and not one dissenting voice has been heard. Well played the Arsenal comms and medical teams.
So, fresh out of the “real” Quackery, and first off, many thanks for all the kind words from everybody on the “Managers” rant.
‘Holic –
Two interesting posts to catch up on after 1 1/2 day absence !!
I had a private tour of the “old” medical facility when it was quite new – Tony Adams and David Seaman were rehabbing in the gym that day, and I was priveliged to meet them both.
Freddie was recieving some treatment in the room that is attached to the right-hand side of the changing room, in your photo.
Quite a day, that was.
The adjustable hydrotherapy pool was there, and two computer programmable jet baths for hydro-massage of specific muscle groups.
But, as you say, things move on, and this new facility looks and sounds as advanced as the old one did in it’s day. Good stuff.
Will check your mail tomorrow – a bit sore tonight.
Now that it seems like the football gods are smiling upon us once again, our lot have returned from each of this season’s interminable, numbnut interlulls stronger, more organized and up for the battle – and not broken like before. I’ll have a drink to that continuing – cheers
uredS!
Agreed ‘holic.
I seem to recall the regulars spent much time over the summer pleading for a tad more transparency from the Club. Nice to hear someone’s listening. Baby steps, but all in the right direction.
Echo all the positive comments from yesterday’s drinks that this is very much a good thing. Glad you and Blogs got an invite (and for your sneaky tweets π )
Ah, Trev, trust all has gone well.
The pool is about to be turned into a semi-circular walkway with jets firing out water of varying temperatures as you walk/jog around it.
The room in which you saw Freddie has been extended, basically to double the number of ‘beds’.
The impression was given strongly that this facility will continue to ‘move on’ apace.
Catalan –
didn’t really know whether to get involved in your “Stevie T” argument or not. I know you certainly don’t need any help from me to “justify” yourself.
All I would say, is that if Stevie T had, in fact, involved himself more in the drinks over the last couple of years, he would have realised the extent of your experience and knowledge of scientific evidence and analysis.
Regardless of one’s particular discipline and qualifications, success in treating people, and consequently for the business, will depend on aptitude for the subject and attitude towards your patients.
If Stevie T knew you a little better, albeit virtually, I think it would have saved you a whole lot of needless wasted time.
For Stevie T’s info only, I am not a chiropractor, but a Sports Physiotherapist, and having run a full practice for 22 years, I feel a bit qualified to voice an opinion.
Interesting stuff ‘Holic – (and thanks for the kind thoughts)
and testament to your rules on running a blog that the club are willing to invite the authors in.
Mystery how Le Grove made it though π
And one for the fellow who is hopefully recovering as well as the mighty reds please barman
Nice pics Holic .
Good to have you back Trev .
Two great posts holic. Very interesting I must say. However, I will still never get how with all that top kit and knowledge that 2 weeks ends up in a year though???? π Enjoyable posts none the less.
Trev. Hope you are recovering well. I am with you and Dr C. Don’t listen to my imposter. Howeve,r there was one Imposter that is well worth a listen. Cue Elvis Costello………
Lonestar, Sorry to hear about the demise of Lonestar Farms and the sending off of the llamas. I trust they found green pastures elsewhere?
Barman,
A high energy grapefruit juice and lovely masseuse to get the kinks out, if you will. π
Thanks, 8-ball.
We’re just in the midst of a bit of change over here. Change is life. Life is change.
We’ll see where things end up.
BMBD!
Did somebody mention the kinks? They went through some changes over the years …
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vW-JYsF3xHI
Now that my twin is gone, I can get to work.
@Trev 15
If you say that Dr C is indeed well versed in scientific-based practice then by definition, he is not a chiropractor. He is performing physical therapy.
I am not against Dr C, I am against what is chiropractics that adheres to its actual principles. Now a days, there are chiropractors like Dr C who base there work on science, that is by definition, not a chiropractor if anyone bothers looking into what chiropractics actually is.
This is a section to comment on The Arsenal and I will try to to antagonise people any further. I understand that Dr C is well respected in this community and that I’m just some new guy who you probably thinks has the same ailment as van Persie.
I’m sure if anyone wants to be enlightened on this subject, they could look further into it themselves and not watch some new guy rant and rave.
————————————————————————————
Now on the topic of the blog. I had no idea what I was doing when I was a kid, I chose The Arsenal over my family’s Leeds because I was watching an FA cup match with West Ham. I thought a cannon was much better than a silly hammer and the club colours just look magnificent. I became a lifelong Arsenal fan for trivial reasons but everyday I look back at that kid and think “thank heavens”, I am so happy to support a club with such class and such forward thinking. The way we run the club financially and the way we try to obtain the best facilities for our players. Not to mention the great fans we have too. Gooner for life.
PS I’m supposed to be giving tips to Caroll in training today. I’m gonna accidentally cut his pony-tail off, everyone in the dressin’ roon finks ee’s right ‘ol pansy
‘holic, thanks for the virtual tour. clearly the club are focusing on the cutting edge in preventative and maintenance physio, and it’s impressive as heck. i really appreciate being able to see inside it a little bit.
and, i might have missed it in the last drinks, but any idea (or are you allowed to say) who was walking in lowered gravity?
bartender, i’ll take one of those protein drinks, heavy on the blueberries.
The line should read “I will try not to antagonise”
I come in peace, I swear by Dennis. π
I come in peace too Stevie T.
*shuffles off to apply moustache wax to handle bars*
Stevie T?? Steve T?? This bar gets more confusing by the day. I blame the Quakery doctors for their high-dosage prescriptions. π
Horse placenta anyone????????????????
Horse placenta? You must be ‘avin a laugh. I only use product with utmost pedigree. Such is for peasants. Only dodo placenta is worthy.
Howdy Holic and Holics,
That’s some facility. It’s a wonder any of our lads get injured.
Hey could somebody point out the anti-gravity treadmill?
BTW: Dodo’s (at least the bird version) Are all extinct or wearing gps tags and spurs jerseys for easy identification. π
he he he! dodo placenta!…how about mammoth placenta STEVIE t?…
Trev, Catalan…
Could you help me out with something here?
I mean, I get the Anti-Gravity treadmill and its use, but what is the long term effect? I mean, like what is the effect on the players once they go back to normal environment where they do have gravity?
Will the use of the Anti Gravity treadmill make it easier for them?
@ ‘Holic…Thanks for all the nice pictures & interesting load of info yesterday. Good stuff by you, Guv & well played by the club too…
Curious to know what the awkward questions you referred to in yesterdays post were, & the frank answers to them…Blogs didn’t really let much on (seems he thought you would).
Anyways, looking forward to Shenley week on here!.
Have a good day gays!…(i’m looking at you WSB!).
hey lcg, what part of the left coast are you on?
Anti-gravity treadmills? The weather has never been the same since they walked on the moon.
Hey tabs, (or anyone else) what does that Le Grove fella look like? Pedro/Gareth or whatever he’s called…
Nice pictures ‘holic
Please tell me Stevie T and Steve T are different because I’m quite confused!
Snir, I think the anti-gravity treadmill is to start the running a bit earlier than normal since it would help in reducing (almost eliminating?) the stress on the weight bearing joints. That way rehab is quicker
Stevie T
Once more for the people at the back; why would I want to call myself a PT (3 year degree) after completing a degree in chiropractic (5 years)??
So far I have exposed your ignorance on the education, licensing and practice of chiropractic. What more would you like me to do?
You have said that you are not a doctor, physio or unhappy chiro patient, so you must, therefore, be pre-judging.
You are entitled to your own personal beliefs, but please don’t spread unsubstantiated myths (ironically your own words) just to suit your own agenda.
Snir: in addition to what Harsha said I would assume that running under less strain might in itself speed up recovery since it increases the blood circulation in the injured joint without placing full strain on it.
I would also guess that you gradually decrease the help that the anti-gravity treadmill gives you, so it’s not a case of going from 0,5g to 1,0g from one day to the next. At the wound heals more and more, you increase the strain until it can handle the full weight again.
Harsha.
Very very different. Trust me. There is only one genuine Steve T. Don’t be fooled by cheap imitations. π
Morning chaps, interesting couple of pieces Holic, and a welcome break from the tedium of yet another interlull.
While the talking heads debate why FIFA should allow England to wear the poppy on their shirts, shouldn’t they be discussing why the hell we have to bother with an international friendly anyway? They’re the mole on the arse of football – a pain in the backside but you just can’t shift ’em.
And BTW – it may look like I’ve abandoned this fine organ lately (or people may not have noticed!) but my employers must think I’m a liability if I’m not totally occupied for every single second of the working day. I’m there in spirit, even if I’m too snowed under to join in.
UTA!
Nice.
I’m thinking we need an anti anti gravity machine on the MKii, to bring one or two of our patrons down from the ceiling.
Welcome back Trev.
From : Dr Feelgood
To: Β Carlos KickemhardΒ
————————————————————–
Job Satisfaction
Carlos, thank you for your recent memo.
There is great substance in what you say – these are trying times if you are in search of the disgruntled amongst the Arsenal fraternity. Β As you and I know, when you were recruited, Β your principle task was to seek out any of those needy, whining types that showed up whenever the team suffered defeat (sometimes even when we did not lose), and it’s a testament to the rigour and diligence that you brought to the job that we are once again all happily travelling in the same direction.
But we should not let our guard down – there is only ever going to be room on the Happy Train for the gruntled. Β We are only one contentious refereeing decision away from another outbreak of the virus – so you and your boys need to keep youselves poised and ready for any action that may be required. Β You will always be supported by the DL Ltd Board and our finest legal team (F Mee and Partners).
In the interim I have two further assignments. Β I have recently discovered that Green Eyes has a young suitor and my attentions have not gone un-noticed. Β I may therefore need you to supervise my personal security detail. Β The other involves a trip out to Catalonia……
Catalan Gooner,
Look you are well respected here that no matter what logic I bring here, it’s of no use. I perfectly understand that as you have spent 5 years learning your trade, it would be incredible if you were to be convinced that what you do isn’t evidence-based.
Here are the facts, these “chiropractor degrees” come from chiropractor-based colleges whereas a phyiotherapist is someone, commonly for 4 years, trained at a nationally (if not internationally) recognised university. Taking it to the extreme, it is as if someone goes to study to become a psychic, spending 5 years at Paranormal Studies College. Does their 5 year “degree” in psychic make them practice something that is effective in what they claim? No. Are people free to patron a psychic? Yes. But these psychics are not allowed to claim any scientific-based practices as that would be very untruthful.
You did not expose anything, my friend. I am a student of the sciences and I wholly believe that people have free choice. Chiropractics aren’t scientfically-based nor is it effective but I have nothing against people making this their living as long as they don’t claim outlandish things.
http://www.skepdic.com/chiro.html
Can you provide peer reviewed articles based in well respected journals that used good study design to prove that chiropractics is effective in what it claims? How does manipulating someone’s spine “unblock” the central nervous system to help the body heal something like asthma. Please explain that in a non pseudoscientific manner. Thank you.
Hello ‘Holic,
Really interesting stuff here, thank you, and love the photos (nearly as good as my Gooch one which I hope you got).
FFS, never listen to your Doctor.
Oh. π
Poppet, I did, thank you so much. Sorry I have been tardy in replying, but as with Camberwell I am having a hectic time of it at present
I think I’ll drop the restaurant review in case we get a veggie on here criticising the carnivorous chef.
I’m as Omnivorous as they come. Had 2 delicious steaks for dinner. Mango season is also welcomed.
I’m also very sorry if I’m making everyone feel that I’m attacking this community or something. I’m a long time fan of the blog and nlifelong fan of The Arsenal.
I will concede from this debate just so that I don’t feel so unwelcomed. Sorry everyone. :'(
No problem whatsoever! Good luck with de-hectic-ifying (dire neologism but can’t think of a real word). Hear back in due course.
Thanks Stevie, all are welcome here. You are entitled to your view but repeated criticism of my profession would raise my hackles too. Then again, I suppose I ask for it really. Not much call for Sherpas in the West Country.
I was wondering why no-one was drinking in the bar.
I think you should keep that arse-ish habit of putting ‘>>>>>>’ when a day’s drinks are done.
Please don’t give up on the restaurant review!! Trying to entice son to come with me and grandsons to the Emirates. 2 adults can share the load!) He is convinced the restaurant will be rubbish, like the one at OT that he went to on work related outing. Surely ours is better!
It has been brought to my attention (well, it says so on FaceBook!) that one of the passengers on the Happy Train is celebrating his birthday today – so let’s all raise our glasses to the passenger that never seems to sleep: Mr Snir Geuli!
Happy Birthday Snir!
Canons @37 – Pedro at the Grove is called Gareth because of a more than passing resemblance to Gareth from The Office , first coined by Dr Z , and adopted for Behind The Arse . Hence why his partner in crime is referred to as Geoff Gervais .
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gareth_Keenan
For the real thing , you would need to track down a link (if you can be arsed) to the Q and A session Ivan Gazidis did with the fans right at the start of the close -season , in which Gareth asked a question , and thus provoked the comparison .
Many Happy Returns Snir !
( Dr C , it could be a busy day …. )
Morning all, busy as f*ck like Camberwell, ‘Holic and no doubt others.
Just a quick visit to say hello and to catch up on some interesting debate.
Snir, in deference to your country of birth “Yom Huledet Sameach” and “Tja observerade” Lars π
‘Holic, thank you for the last two posts and hope you had a great day out in “The Arse Quackery” (looks hugely impressive) and watching The Stiffs stiff Fulham Stiffs π
Dr.T – The CMC is freshly stocked with anti-soreness ointments. If you ask Staff Nurse Wolfie he/she may be willing to apply on the affected area. Failing that,it can be dissolved in alcohol of any kind and consumed orally for a similar effect. No more than half a pint for you though old bean π
Cheers all and laters….
Many happy returns, Snir.
Stevie T
Busy day – I will get back to you (one final time) as it’s not the place really to be discussing this. People don’t want to listen / watch our debate…..
Bear with me.
To : Dr Feelgood
From : Carlos Kickemhard
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
Re Job Satisfaction .
Dr Feelgood , thank you for your extremely prompt response . I know that you are a terribly busy man , what with the interviewing and all , and am therefore most grateful that you have found the time to respond .
What with the lack of action , I am a little concerned that the boys are getting a bit “jumpy” , and I , of course , wouldn’t want any innocent Bystanders to get hurt , if it all goes off . In this regard I would suggest that my remit is widened to the following :-
1. Needless impersonation of Happy Travellers .
2. Criticism of The Quackery .
3. Legal challenges to Wolfgang Smallballs .
As regards the new assignments that you mention , I look forward to receiving full instruction in due course . As a preliminary precaution , I have taken the liberty of putting a tail on all “young” types .
As regards Catalonia , my Speedoes are already packed , and I’m ready to go when you say the word .
On the News Today,
Mexican police have discovered 19 Prostitutes,2 sacks of Blow,and 100 Roosters for Cock fighting, in a surprise inspection of a jail in Acapulco.
Police also found 6 female prisoners living in the men’s section of the jail,along with a cache of Weapons,2 Peacocks, and numerous Plasma TV’s.
The Governor of the Jail was unavailable for comment.!!
cheers
The Sweeper
19 prostitutes – On secondment from Happy Train Sport Carriage .
2 Sacks of Blow – Daily Shipment to Happy Train Quackery .
100 Roosters – Shipment to Wolfgang Smallballs . He likes Cock apparently .
6 Female prisoners – DNA extracters .
Cache of Weapons – Daily shipment to Carlos Kickemhard .
2 Peacocks – Brighten the place up and taste good when we
have our sunday Barbecue
Plasma TVs – Awaiting secondment to the Gooner Ladyboy Massive .
The Defence rests M’Lud .
heh
Here here, this Steve T and Stevie T situation is becoming like a Soap Opera! You don’t follow for a week (in this case, a day) and you’re out of the loop!
I know the way to settle this situation, but it will have to wait till Norwich City vs Arsenal after this infernal break.
PS – Who is Shaft? He’s a legend but is he one of the regulars?
Dr C,
It is okay, I will happily cease this debate for the community. I would rather bow out so that we can get these drinks back to Arsenal discussion or more light-hearted matters.
Shall we agree to disagree?
Looking forward to the restaurant review π
@scruzgooner #35
Why Santa Cruz of course.
Canons , further to previous post and in the interests of greater accuracy , and in deference to your art , Gareth is the weaselly looking chap who asks a question at 14.23 .
http://www.arsenal.com/news/news-archive/free-video-gazidis-qanda-session-part-two
Cheers, tabs. Never seen this. Looks like a right twonk, and I can see the Gareth K resemblance indeed!
There’s often a lot of rubbish on F365, but Mediawatch is consistently enjoyable to read.
http://www.football365.com/mediawatch/7300043/Mediawatch
tabs @ 69, the things you do in the name of research!
I wouldn’t have trawled through the archive only to have to suffer looking at that rodent again π
Slave to my art Dr Z π
Cheers for the link Ollie .
Stevie T
And I had a really good parable lined up too! π
For the best, I think – if you want to continue the debate then go to this chap – he welcomes sceptics! Note – this guy is NOT me!
http://www.chiropracticlive.com/
Right – back to things Arsenal.
From : Dr Feelgood
To: Carlos Kickemhard
cc : Prof T E Storey
– β – β – β – β – β – β – β – β – β – –
Re Job Satisfaction .
My dear Carlos,
I knew that you would step up to the mark.
Consider your remit extended. In the interests of controlling our budget, however, I cannot promise any extension of your remuneration package, but I have asked Edwin to source you a large stick (Only one careful owner).
Please note that in your surveillance of “young” types, you only need to concern yourself with (a) males and (b) those in (a) who look like they could be considering a bout of violence toward my person.
I am slightly concerned about your need to advise me of your wardrobe for the trip to Spain. I am beginning to wonder if you are in any way related to that weirdo, Smallballs?
Come to think of it, I don’t think I have ever seen you both in the Boardroom at the same time….
To : Dr Feelgood .
From : Carlos Kickemhard
cc : Prof TES
Re Job Satisfaction
Consider the job(s) “in hand” .
As regards Smallballs , you are of course aware that I administer a daily kicking in his direction .
However , I’ve kind of got used to having him around . Very helpful with fashion tips , that sort of thing . Being from a Peruvian village , I had no idea just how comfy a pair of Speedoes are . Military Uniform is just so …. restricting .
I still knock him around of course , when he starts taking liberties , but I dunno , the fella just has a way of rubbing off on you …
Happy birthday, Snir.
http://www.francefootball.fr/#!/news/2011/11/09/150949_coquelin-pense-a-partir.html
Don’t leave, Francis.
I don’t want to be a soap opera. I just want to be the same Steve T as I have always been. Nothing more, nothing less. I thought I was amongst friends? No one got my horse placenta quip and holic, you completely banked my Elvis Costello link. I thought it was quite good.
I may need to run off and seek solace in one of the sweeper’s Toms for a bit of comfort and light relief.
One Steve T,
there’s only one Steve T……..
Ollie @ #78 – Oh Coq! π
Carlos & Dr.F – Keep ’em coming my fellow DLL’ers, excellent stuff π
GoMG @ #64 – I’m sure a position can be found for you within DLL should it all go “t*ts up” for you in Mexico. Please apply in the first instance to Professor Edwin Storey submitting your CV plus full personal details with a second copy for Dr.Feelgood. I would suggest enclosing a large brown envelope stuffed full of lolly to ensure that your application gets viewed in the most favorable light.
Envelope – stuffed – used US dollars only please.
Ollie
It does seem a little strange that Coq hasn’t had a few more appearances as sub (Frimpers too for that matter) after such a promising start.
That being said piorities have been very much to steady the ship, so can’t argue with that.
I suspect his public thoughts are very much along the lines of Woj’s at this time last year. Seeking a little reassurance from M Wenger. I’m sure a fatherly chat as to his future chances will see him sign…. hope so as he looks a decent prospect.
His problem, of course, is that Song has now established himself as one of the leading CDM’s in the league.
I have been impressed with what I have seen of Coquelin – but then I was also impressed by Merida. Whilst I can understand their frustration, they need to ask themselves, is the grass really so much greener?
If Coquelin is good enough, he will get game time. Its only a matter of time before Dimitri is suspended again……
Happy birthday Snir π
Thanks for the info tabs, I was actually trying to figure out how to draw this clown and came up with a cross between Napolean Dynamite and Oscar the Grouch…will have to change it now π
Drawing takes so long….why wasn’t I born perfect????????
Happy Birthday patient Gang Goolie
I prescribe you a day full of FIFA 12 (or whatever your game of choice is right now), 6 hours of obscure footy videos and 12 galllons of coffee….. let the mania begin! π
So, a Peruvian security detail in speedos is heading this way? Hmm… just as well we have his self-confessed weak spot Nurse Wolfie to distract him…..another plan of Dr F’s foiled.
More coffee Snir….?
The thing is, people tend to forget, but when everyone is fit, we actually have some rather decent squad depth.
And there’s only so many subs you’re allowed on the team sheet.
Steve T, the horse placenta quip, I thought it was from Stevie T.
That’s how confusing you two have become.
Bring back Andy Goram, i say!
lcg @68, well then, we should start a HT local station…
And may I add, Dr C, that the problem is ‘compounded’ by Cameroon not having qualified for the ACN this january!
To : Prof TES
From : Governor NotsospeedyGonzalez
Re Job Application
Certain developments having come to light , I can report that I am available for work immediately . I hereby enclose my CV , and look forward to hearing from you .
CV
Qualifications : None .
Achievements : 1. Growing the biggest ‘tache in Mexico .
2. Organised fantastic orgy on public money .
3. Can sweat profusely on demand .
Interests : 1. Group Sex ( see above ) .
2. Corruption and Malpractice .
3. Big Swags of Cash ( see 2 above ) .
4. Unpredictable outpourings of violence .
5. Imports and Exports
6. Eating Peacocks .
Referee : Massimo Buscatta .
scruzgooner, @ 88
DL Ltd are very precious about intellectual property rights, copywright and all other associated image rights and memorabilia.
A franchise license is available – used US dollars in a brown envelope please. Lots of them. 50s and 20s are preferred.
You can sort out the fine detail with Edwin. 8)
Copyright even
Having read the latest arseblog, I’d just say ‘good stuff they’ve expanded the Tollington, eh?’ π
Unfortunately, I’ll be unable to make it.
Ollie – re Song and Cameroon – nice problem to have, eh?
Dr C @ 86 , Don’t worry , I’ve got your back π
Dear Dr @91, appreciate the info. Will have my girl drop by with a special “California Gift Bag” stuffed with the requisite. Green in all cases, with instructions to share with the other Quackery HabituΓ©s. More than enough to go ’round. When I speak with Edwin, I’ll pass him the Dutchie.
Gov @90, are you sure you aren’t a soon to be ex-prime minister of an unnamed southern *coughitaly* European country? Very similar Q & E.
Indeed Dr C.
And heh, scruz, very true about GoMG
To: Dr. Feelgood
From: Professor TES
Cc: Wolfgang Smallballs
Re: Job Application From Governor NotsospeedyGonzalez
Dear Doctor
Please find enclosed the CV and personal details of a rather colourful character from Mexico seeking employment within our company. He was originally highlighted to me by none other than our resident Sweeper.
Whilst I don’t necessarily approve of some of the achievements that he cites, with the possible exception of the moustache culturing, I do note that his interests seem fairly closely aligned to some of yours.
The chap may well be over qualified for any current openings but thought it was worth your while to review his particulars. If you are interested to meet than I can arrange for him to come to our offices for a F2F interview.
One further point. In his covering letter, he says that he prefer to enter via the back door so you may wish to get Wolfgang (on cc) enagaged in this process.
Await your advice soonest,
Edwin
Dr.F
Re: scruzgooner @ #96.
Under what circumstances would we be wanting to share cash with The Quackery?
Regards, Edwin
scruz @ 96
We obviously speak the same language. I look forward to welcoming your girl. (Can you synchronise this with Roxette’s excursion to the gym, I wonder?).
The professor will get you kitted out in a D L Ltd “uniform”. Welcome to the fold. 8)
Off the post….
Professor – there are 2 types of green. One we may be able to share with the quacks.
The stuff that goes to secret accounts in Switzerland are another matter.
“Is another matter”, sorry Ollie. π
That meeting on 7th December will come 3 days too early for me too Ollie.
I hope that there is still some guinness left on tap for the Saturday!
Dear DLL Ltd Management –
Oh dear…. this regime will end very badly – you heard it here first. π
Take it from a Texan, once Mexico and California get involved, it all goes tits up.
BMBD!
Professor @ 98
Whilst I currently am suffering somewhat from “interview fatigue”, this one intrigues me. He most definitely needs to be invited for a face to face.
Can you please reserve Interview Room 2 for me – (Interview Room 1 brings back bad memories) – we can agree the competency based questions later.
Do you think he does Mexican Cartwheels (unpaid)?
Dr. F, thanks for the clarification.
I also note that the GT has been freshly stocked from a new supplier as PiK is MIA too often these days and Lonestar Farms have gone into Chapter 11.
Do you have my latest account numbers BTW?
Your share is still going into your Post Office Mini-Saver, Edwin.
I will get you a new calculator for Christmas π
Ollie @ #93: Thanks for highlighting. Might try to get along for that one.
zico @ #104: if I go, I’ll make sure there’s a pint left for you on the weekend π
What an assist for Feelgood from The Professor. Worthy of The Invincibles?
*considers his future based on management gluttony*
zico, the Everton game promises to be pandemonium.
There will be a sizeable contingent of Irish arsebloggers.
My initial plan was just a day trip for that one, but I might consider an overnighter if the ensuing week at work does not threaten to be too demanding.
Edwin,
I am only protecting your integrity. We both know that.
Incidentally, I still have the video evidence of your integrity, filmed in High Definition. I haven’t yet taken the plunge to put on the glasses and watch it in 3D. π
Sounding most wonderful, Ollie.
I shall bring my own version of Celtic carnage.
On the other hand, it might be snowed off, in which case….the drinking will be even worse…..
Ollie @ #112 & zico
Does this mean we might get to see both of you dancing on the Tollie tables (Lars stylee) post match?
Looks like it’s going to be another gathering to remember π
To remember or to not remember, that is the question.
(and the inversion of the ‘not’ and the ‘to’ is on purpose, in case you’re tempted to remark :D)
Heh @ #117 π
Phones with cameras to be left at the doors then?
Alas poor Ollie, I knew him well….
TS – that depends on a number of variables, not least snow, which Ollie has reminded me, left me marooned last December trying to get to the Grove. I will take a bit of a financial bath this time if it happens again – offset by the amount I will save not fuelling on Guinness, I guess.
I expect you to join my prayers to the Weather God to ensure that I don’t miss out.
Canons@85 – Glad to be of assistance .
*scurries off to see what Napoleon Dynamite and Oscar the Grouch look like*
Prof TES and Dr Feelgood – Multiple hehs π
Ollie – Book that overnighter now !! Everton will not be a day for half measures π
Relax zico. 10th December in the Sarf of Engerland? I’d pack a T-Shirt if I were you π
*crosses fingers that this drink doesn’t come back and bite his ar*e*
I like the sound of this Mexican’s violence . I can use him .
I like the sound of his ‘tache . So can I !
… I mean, what could possibly go wrong?
tabs, Wolfie, Carlos, Feelgood, zico, Edwin, Ollie, ‘Holic(?), Snowy(?), Dr.T(?), Steve T – original(?) will all be there or thereabouts to ensure things go swimmingly.
What?…. oh…..
tabs/CoR: Napolean Dynamite, an excellent flick, one of my faves.
*you need good skills*
Ollie@78, CG@83, ZiE@84 and others. Coquelin’s long-term challenge is not so much Song at DM as it is that he plays the same midfield linking role as Arteta and Wilshere.
Happy birthday, Snir. A glass of ‘Holic’s finest claret is raised to you.
TS – now up to speed on Napoleon Dynamite , loved the “vote for Pedro” T-shirt .
Oscar the Grouch ? Well , he’s certainly a muppet !
Happy B-day, Snir. Good to see that Francona might land on his feet.
BMBD!
Dr Feelgood @106 ,
Of course I can do a Mexican Cartwheel . One of the first things we learn at school . In fact , the only thing we learn at school ( see CV ) .
Lay on one of your famed swedish barmaids , and I shall happily demonstrate .
TS – I meant snow at THIS end! As for things going swimmingly, I aint wearing no Speedoes!
tabs, you might need to explain to Trev that it WILL be a day for half measures π
Mexican jailer
A role play exercise is standard for the D L Ltd interview process. Be glad you’re not female π
Dr Z @131 – heh and heh π
zico #131 – Serves you right for domiciling in the land of the brave π
tabs @ #128 – Me too and so I really hate the fact that Gareth The C*nt uses that as his avatar.
ollie@97, i think he’s just growing a movstache, so just maybe…
drF@100 (gooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaallllllll), thanks. my girl excells at synchronization, if you understand me. her sense of timing is exquisite. i look forward to the kit, so long as the shirt’s red with white sleeves. and please assure the prof that what goes around always comes around, and that there’s way more than enough in those cali special bags to share. and, @106, both the girl and the bag are excellent balm for interview fatigaay.
@lcg, wherever you are, we must try to get together and compare notes at 99 or (god forbid) the brit.
scruz @ #135
Sounds good, looking forward to the ‘coming around’ bit. You may wish to apply for a tender to supply the CMC?
Newbie uniforms are all red I’m afraid. You need to complete your probationary period to ‘earn’ your white sleeves. See Dr.F for the Ts&Cs of your ’employment’.
Yours, Edwin
The Prof is right Scruz, but if your girl is all you claim her to be, there is the Graduate Fast Track (heh) system.
It’s all about the green, I mean err, Red. And white.
Evening.
Nice pics “holic to complement the previous offering.
===
Stevie T (the new one)
May I suggest a monniker shortening to; Stevie.
It would save a lot of confusion.
Cheers.
And Happy Birthday to Snir.
Pardon my ignorance, but what is a poppy? And what is it supposed to symbolize?
Oh and Happy returns, Snir
@Scruzgooner
99 or Johnnie’s Harborside. I’m 86ed at the Brit. I tried to be civil with the fucking ManU(re) lovers but they were all against me.
(something about old yellow stains and steaming in circles) Any how too much Jack Daniels and too little fuze. No apologies on my behalf and no love lost.
@Snir Yom haledet samaech! Assuming it is really your birthday.
You guys are so crazy it’s difficult to know what’s truth and what’s pure quackery.
TS 123, I’ll just remind you that the infamous Stoke game was only a week later, December 18th.
And the Hull game (stuck on a train) the season before December 19th.
Not snow related but just a season before that, Man U was November 8th.
So basically, some imponderable should happen for either Fulham or Everton.
It most likely will affect only me though π
Harsha, check this out;
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Papaver_rhoeas
Ollie
Fingers crossed that all will be well and great times will be had by all.
Does that count as my good deed for the day? π
and this;
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Remembrance_poppy
Evening chums. Mr Tired of Tired & Co here. I take it I don’t need to backdrink for abusive nutters tonight?
Nutters? Yes.
Abusive Nutters? No.
No, just the usual barking lot I think, ‘holic!
Happy Birthday to Snir. Or to your friends’ anniversary, if more applicable. π
*woof….*
Beautiful photographs, goonerholic. It would *of course* be Theo on sound system duty!
It would almost be worth breaking your leg to have a go on the anti-gravity space-time-bending alpha centuri treadmill thingy.
prof@136, drF@137, i understand. my girl will bring me back the application, depending upon how much “comes around” those that can will pre-sign so i can fill in the details later?
and, wrt the white sleeves, i didn’t see anything in the t&cs that referred to my girl’s twin sisters. they usually travel together, you see. one of them’s a nurse, and one of them’s a chiropractor, so all your aches and ailments can be undressed.
lcg@141, i’ve never liked the brit, watched arselona there once during cl knockouts and everyone was hurling abuse. 99 was antic during the 06 finals, though, arse upstairs and barca down, and the roars were plenty.
maybe a lunchtime at 99 for the next group game? i’ll wear my O2 shirt…
Hello Ollie, were ye looking fae me?
Just got to @146 and thrown out by Windows auto update – very pleasing.
@holic – just nutters, not abusive.
Snir – Happy Birthday, help yourself to the CMC for the night ! π
Tabs, TS/Edwin, zico/Feelgood, Steve T, Guvnor Mex Gaol – variously cheers and great stuff above π
Catalan – I would adopt the same approach to your unnecessary “self justification” as ‘Holic does to apologising π
There are undoubtedly brilliant and awful Doctors, Osteos, Physios, Chiros etc. . . . .
You know what you achieve and how you achieve it, and a successful clinic is testament to it. Nuff said π
Scruz….. a female chiropractor? Now we’re making progress. Applications to Dr C, please c/o The Quackery.
Bypass that Dr F fellow and come straight to where the real decisions are made….
Sanchez WHAT ?!?!
Haha, I am humbled again.
Check out the real name entered on Twitter by @Herbaylee
Top drinking π
Dr C –
on the subject of applications to the Quackery, I have recieved one directly from another would-be, apparantly Scandinavian, nurse by the name of Bent Ove Peterson.
I imagine this is the sort of thing that can now be dealt with directly by Staff Nurse Wolfie. Sounds like it should be right up his alley ?. . .
@Lonestar Gooner.
Tits-up is how we like’em here in Cali.
I suppose you guys prefer them on Longhorns or is that longnecks?
In any case cheers, Bubba.
@prof Tes Didn’t we loan “not-so-speedy Gonzales” out?
cg@156, i would imagine drF’s “inverview fatigay” *could* preclude him from making the best use of the twins’ myriad talents; i’ll have them ask after you at THOQ. please take good care of them, keep them as long as your research requires, and send them back in good health (tired too, i hope).
perhaps you can invite snir along once you’ve done the initial testing. consider it a happy birthday, sr. gooolie.
@Scruzgooner#153
Definately next group. Is that Dortmund home?
I’ll want to get out for that one.
lcg@160, having lived both in tejas and (99%) in the golden state, i can tell you they pray to epiphone, the goddess of the long-necked and high strung.
lcg@162, yep. and we give thanks the day after. i’ll be off, and the MIL will be here (do love her, though), so sitting my arse at 99’s bar around 11:30 sounds very appealing. plan on it?
scruzgooner, Does epiphone always have a cell phone on her ear? Just wondering …
‘holic @158 nice one π
Is it safe for me to come back.out and play again?
Indeed it is Steve. π
Phew. I have never had a clone before.
Holic, did you get my Elvis Costello line? I thought that would have been no problem for a man of your calibre.
Extract 9th November
Dear Diary,
The hectic life of a Transport Executive is not anything like as glamorous as my fellow Board members, or indeed my loyal travelling public, envisage it to be.
Up at 4am yesterday morning to make the red-eye to Paris, all to try and track down some minituare train set to satisfy the mad ramblings of our esoteric Sweeper, who is now making friends with one or more “pixies”. Β So much for the Secure Unit.
Getting away is probably not the worst thing that could have happened, mind you, what with the Joan Terry episode quickly followed by Green Eyes and her new beau giving me dirty looks. Β It came as a bit of a shock when she told Β me that her ideal man would NOT be associated with the transport industry, would be completely clean of drugs and drink, and spiritually aligned to some vegan guru from Milon Keynes. Β Β I do wonder at Edwin’s interview techniques at times – she IS gorgeous but clearly off her rocker. Β
And speaking of interviews, what to make of the two applications received today? Β The Mexican bloke sounds too good to be true – can someone that dis-reputable really just fall into our lap? Β I can make this dude the fall guy for every DLL wheeze that takes my fancy – drugs, women, bribery. Β Even the psychotic Carlos approves.
Another application was e-mailed today by Edwin – this one fromΒ California. Β Talk about low hanging fruit. Β This guy is practically offering me his woman……(aah, just like the old days…..) and all in return for a pair of red pyjamas from Primark. Β Still to see what the twin sisters look like – Edwin tells me they go by the names of Selma and Patty….pretty, nubile All-American girls I suspect…..
Steve T – your identity was never in doubt. Not once did the Imposter complain of a “lack of width”. π
Zico@171. Good point and very well made. π
Sorry Steve,
I’ve struggled to keep up with the comments this week, what with working like a worky thing and squeezing Shenley in on Monday.
Point me in the right direction for a bit of the proper Elvis…
bt8b@165, no, but they who follow epiphone definitely have enlarged navels…and respond best to really electric pickup lines…
19 Holic. Thought it might have been up your street? And a medical connection as well.
Oh yes, I did see that. I thought I had missed one on an earlier post. Excellent work maestro.
Now, good lotto numbers please…
You need clone boy for that one. He seemed to know everything?
π
LCG & SCruz –
Let me assure you that, despite what Lou Gosset, Jr. says, Texas contains far more than just steers and queers, we have a healthy lust for “Epiphone” and her sisters Antigone, Persephone, Alimone (actually, she has been run out of Texas), Parsimone, and Matrimone (only when we get fat and tire of chasing the other sisters).
We also do not discriminate on the basis of body type (pear-shaped predominates) or skin tone.
On other matters, I have family in San Diego – any chance the bars you mentioned above are near the SD?
BMBD!
What a gig. Should have done that one…
And, in the unlikely event that you have missed it, this goes to the top of your Christmas present list, doesn’t it?
http://arseblog.com/2011/11/so-paddy-got-up-official-launch/
Are you going to put a link to allow us to buy the book on the blog, Holic?
(Alternately, bring a copy along on the 10th and I’ll hand you 20 coins of the realm in person). π
I just saw e-book. Does that mean I can get it on my feckin iPad?
‘Holic –
What if you celebrate Festivus instead of Christmas? Will I still find a copy of the anthology taped to my aluminum flag pole (Festivus does not use trees)?
BMBD!
and can we get it in the united states? i can’t wait to read it…
lstar@178, i’ll bet you don’t discrimate…everything goes pear-shaped in tejas… π i used to live in spring valley (houston), and there were lots of alimonie worshippers among the mothers in the neighborhood.
da bars are in da scruz…too many hours north of san diego, unless you fly to san jose and head to the beach.
lcg, i just realized, it might not be televised, damn it!
argh, i just checked the fox soccer site, it’s a 2pm kickoff…a late lunch, then. no peeking!
Enlarged navels. A result of plastic surgery like so much else in that (long)neck o’ the woods?
Scruz @ 184,
Yeah, Houston is a rough city. I prefer Austin and Dallas. The scenery is much less pear-shaped in those cities.
Obviously, because I married one, I like meself some of those California gurlz as well.
BMBD!
8ball @ 186 –
in my mind, there is nothing wrong with plastic surgery or other “augmentation.” As one of my soldiers once told me, “They’re real if you get the chance to touch ’em” π
BMBD!
Dr. F. may want to order up an augmentation doctor for the quackery at this rate …
I thought Nurse Wolfie was already on the case. What, with the size of his/her/its “shaft” and all…
BMBD!
@ the augmentation discussion, bt8b, that’s why we love it “tits up” here in the west…lying down, standing up, or floating through space.
and you’re thinking (mostly) of southern california. the plastic kingdom. norcal girls tend more towards (to quote adrian belew) “pretty with hairy legs”…
*Lays out a well-paced, searching through ball to 8-ball*
scruzgooner, I am a native Californian myself so can’t help but agree with your classification of northern vs. southern california girls. But I was really responding to your comment about enlarged navels of epiphone followers in Texas, of which I know little or nothing having only passed through the state a handful of times and never having been to Austin, which I hear is liveable.
Wall pass back to Lonestar who is streaking (watch out, Wolfie) through midfield …
Hey zico!
Yes, I believe there will be an e-version, but it may trail behind the limited edition beastie. I’ll try and get more details.
And of course I’ll get one for you at the launch if you want it at the Everton game.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-LLOSG8N3Dk
bt8b, you must not be a guitar player π
Heh, alright Lonestar π
You can buy it for any pagan festival you have in mind π
You have mail holic…….
Over comes the cross….
Hello scruz, I believe you will be able to order the physical version by mail order from Arseblog direct.
Top corner…..
bt8b, from what part of our fair state do you hail? born in berkeley, raised in la, settled in santa cruz, for me.
goal?
Blimey, didn’t mean to hit the target. Great assist Steve.
Off to my mailbox…
cheers ‘holic. i’ve also got 7azza to go through here on the west coast… i wrote arseblog and haven’t heard anything back, though.
Holic, @ 195
Consider that a yes. I will need something to read (take my mind off my hangover) on the train on the way home on the Sunday.
Glad to hear you’re going to make the Everton game π
I love it out here on the wing. Having not found CoR for the Route-1 footie, how about a chip over to Scruzgooner?
*closing in on goal*
Awww….
*tardy fail*
BMBD!
scruzgooner, I was born and raised around Santa Barbara and attended college in San Diego but have been an expatriate ever since, having lived in California – San Francisco – just one year since 1984. And no I am not a guitar player but did like the song.
Man, Spuck Fotify.
I hate apps that require you to have a facebook account. Guess it’s back to Dark Ages for me. π‘
BMBD!
I have Spotify and it wasn’t linked to Facebook at the time, or now. Is this a recent development?
‘Holic –
From the registration page (https://www.spotify.com/uk/signup/open/):
You need a Facebook account to register for Spotify. If you have an account, just log in below to register. If you don’t have a Facebook account, get one by clicking here.
Perhaps my US domain sets me up for “special” treatment? I know I could “facebook” it, but I have been an intractible holdout for so long now; I don’t think I can go back now…
BMBD!
Ouch.
Gotta weigh up the pain against the gain.
I love Spotify because I can listen to new stuff and decide if and how I would like to obtain it, if you get my drift.
@79, Steve T, sorry if I offended you with the Soap Opera analogy, no mean intentions on your part.
But anyway, my brilliant idea was too see out of you and Stevie T who can churn out a post match review almost reaching the quality of the barman himself, that’s how I recognise you’ve posted anyway mate π
Cor, last time I posted was just before 12 in the afternoon, just played catch-up for 12 hours of the highest quality banter.
I won’t even wade into the Dr C, Dr F, Carlos, Wolfie debate/gaggle/discussion/meeting because I’ll be up all night π
@ 200, what a finish ‘Holic! Its only Gooner’Holic… π
@ 207 Lonestar, Lol on the delayed assist :p
Be back on in the morning, night all.
Too much pain for me, ‘Guv.
Despite all the good things I hear about Spotify, if they force me to join Facebook, I’ll demur.
Only the lonely…
BMBD!
@lsg, thanks for the assist attempt, just missed the header but thankfully it fell to ‘holic…
story of my life, actually π
@bt8b, nice, love santa barbara, did my senior thesis research in the hills around lake cachuma. i’m a westwood/ucla boy meself, though bezerkeley is definitely tie-dyed in the wool.
scruzgooner, The year before last I spent in San Francisco with 2 side trips to Santa Cruz. Visiting the boardwalk once necessitated a return trip after my 7 year old daughter fell in love with the amusement park rides, but it’s beautiful down there although I didn’t know about bar where you can watch Barcelona upstairs and Arsenal downstairs. π
Or was it vice-versa. π
@bt8b, it was the final, and for most of the game the cheering was coming from us lot upstairs. Until the 78th minute, anyways. π
@bt8bbgfg I knew you were one of us! You just have that native weird streak that just can’t be hidden.
@scruzgooner 99 it is. I’ll be the one not drinking.
What’s the word for “short necked and pudgy but kinda stressed out”?
I’m not a clone π
LCG@160: It’s the silicon.
Bt8b@193: I happen to be writing this in the building in which ‘California Dreamin’ was written.
LCG @219: Spud?
NBN, I can’t remember exactly but is that building in New York?
Re: leftcoast @219, I’ll take that as a compliment. π
Thanks everyone for the birthday wishes. I hope Arsenal is gonna give a nice gift this November as opposed to usual injuries!
This day has been so long I’m just gonna go to sleep and come back to the bar tomorrow. Thanks guys π
Snir goes to sleep shock!
Markets in freefall……
Heh Dr Z π
Stevie, you could change your moniker as it will make things a lot better and no one would see you as a clone? π Just a thought
Boring start to my work day
Since it’s the weekend tonight, it feels like friday today.
haha zico 225
*possibly bad taste warning*
Hmm, just opened the BBC website, saw ‘Search for Turkey quake survivors’ and was wondering what a ‘Turkey quake’ was.
Especially as the quickest of glances at the accompanying picture made me confuse a fireman’s helmet with a gigantic plucked turkey.
Time for coffee methinks.
Heh Steve T @177 ! π
Lonestar – not special US treatment for you re spotify – they did the same to me when I went to have a look. The thing is that I do have facebook account – but buggered if I can remember what the password is!
http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/hi/football/15656229.stm
Dear Auntie Beeb,
Yao Kouassi Gervais Forehead “Gervinho” does not play for Moneybag City.
thank you.
I also notice the amusing fact that on that list, Dogbag and Mr Five-Foreheads play for the Ivory Coast, while Yaya “I earn so much money I could buy the name of my country back” Tourette plays for CΓ΄te d’Ivoire.
heh, I like it. Some Brazilian boss visiting my boss, sees me.
‘Hi Ollie, how are you? And how is Arsenal?’.
Jaysus, totally forgot Everton tickets were going on sale right now!
A bit late on the red bar…..
Morning All,
Random drink @ Steve T (not a facsimilie)
Re: Elvis, (the better one IMHO). Downloaded a great compilation album on the weekend. His late 70s/early 80s hits are just the best. They still sound fresh and modern. Hard to pick a fave track. “I don’t want to go to Chelsea” makes me snigger based on recent events though π
UTA!
Ollie @ #234 – You had better get yoursef sorted and quick!
Sorted, but I’ll be clockending again.
You can tell we are fairly popular again…..
Ollie
Well done that man. I am worried, however, that I may have missed out on an oppty to get CC QF tickets π
OK the count for Everton stands at Me, TS, Ollie and Goonerholic.
Any other reprobates up for Death by Guinness?
Morning zico, see my #126 for a rough guide π
Round 2 or 3 of arsebloggers vs ‘holics too.
The fighting Irish?
It gets better. I will get Roxette to pack my Peruvian Anti Riot Suit.
Guess the extra pair of boxers will have to be foregone……
http://www.francefootball.fr/#!/news/2011/11/10/130158_un-bleuet-pour-les-bleus.html
Look what you’ve done with your poppies rubbish.
And there is more F365 Mediawatch goodness on the topic π
Every time you post a France football link, it shows up in French Ollie
Is there a way to select English on the web page?
Death by Guinness
Heh! π
Sorry Harsha, it seems like a Franco-French website.
Some Belgiums, Swiss, Canadians, Ivorians, etc. welcome.
zico @ #243
Remember, if you turn them first inside-out and then-back to-front you can get 3 days useage out of a pair of boxers.
Note: Roxette may not approve of this practice.
Ollie @ #248
Are you Belgian? π
zico @ #243 again
You have a PARS? WTF? Misappropriation of DLL company funds? Surely they’re built and supplied for the use of CK and his team only. Has Feelgood lost it? Edwin will be spitting feathers.
heh TS@250 π
Well played Ollie @ #252!
That conversation was only ever going to go one of two ways….
Is that Afobe working out in the background ???
TS @ 249 – you’re right. Roxette has killed for less.
TS @ 251 – Right again – I have been stealing from myself. There is a reason that the corporate structure of the Feelgood Foundation is made up of various shell companies domiciled in Switzerland, Lichtenstein, the Bahamas, and err……Fife.
Feelgood lost it some years ago if you ask me……
Zico @ #255
Double hehs, brilliant π
PS: Wouldn’t want to meet Roxette in a dark alley or am I being unkind?
Laters chaps and chapesses.
Re: TS Weren’t the PARS to be standard issue to all passengers????
TS @ 256 – you wouldn’t want to meet her in broad daylight. π
8 ball – no, you’re getting confused with the Bubble Wrap Suit,
“which is located under your seat in the event of landing on water……
er, no, in the event of an imminent derailment (Class One)” .
Class One or……Class A ? π
Heh Ollie
Work for you is obviouly as alluring asit is for me at the moment π
Damn you to hell, interlull.
Whoa! What’s everyone talking about on this oh so quiet Interlull evening? 260 drinks….don’t make me call the AA on you lads π
Thanks for the passes but alas and alack, neither 100 nor 200 was on the menu for me. My office sent me to a Mental Health seminar where (as is the Japanese way) we sat around and played communication games then filled in an ‘anonymous’ survey. Being the only foreigner in the room I think they’ll figure out the poorly scrawled “This was shit” in hiragana was me, lol
Rum and coke for everyone because that’s what I’m drinking!!!
Afternoon All ,
Dr Z @240 – Just to say that I shall be a willing participant in the “Death by Guinness” extravaganza , followed swiftly by the “Recovery by Malt” and the terminal “I’ve definitely got you this time by Guinness” follow-ups . Was also thinking of including the always popular “Face-down in a plate of curry” stage , but then I remembered that Solids are for Softies , right ?
Dr Z , I admire your fortitude nay bravery , in ordering up a copy of The Arseblog Book for delivery at Everton . Latest odds with William Hill on you getting said Book safely home to Scotland are quoted at 33-1 !
Dr C @156 and Dr T @159 – Staff Nurse Wolfie wishes to be assured that her place in the “pecking” order will not be affected by the employment of a female Chiro . Whilst ordinarily she would not protest at “going down” , She feels her recent promotion to “Staff” was hard-won and wishes to drive home her advantage , as shown by her recent interview with Bent Ove Peterson .
Dr F @170 – another excellent Diary entry π
Lonestar @206 – Congrats Sir , that must be in the record books for the latest assist ever π
Busy night in the drinks from our brothers across the pond , the content of which can only lead me to one conclusion , – that they are all as potty as we are π
Effortless century Holic . Do you offer Training courses on that sort of thing ? By God , I need it !
Carlos has been going nuts all day … something about a missing PARS …
Yeah, bit of a slow day today, zico.
But then, it’s the weekend tonight!
tabs – only 33-1? π
Glad you will be on board on the 10th. The famous 5 Go Mad For It (in North London).
Tell Carlos to forget about the suit and rely on his shiny new stick (one careful owner).
Cannons @261 – A ” mental health ” seminar you say ? Interesting … can think of a few absolute racing certainties around these parts who might benefit from that particular Course . π
Cheers for the Rum , easy on the Coke ( unless it’s from the CMC ) π
Dr Z @264 Ha! Famous Five ? You bring the Ginger Beer , I’ll bring the tranny π
Hehehe, I made a copy of the key for the CMC a long time ago…replaced everything with sugar pills
So uh, now that Arseblog is publishing a book, if you felllas purchase a copy you can safely say you bought his hard arse for 20 quid?
Lashings of it, tabs π
I once had a hot mama from California, I can’t say she was as hairy as you cats described but let’s just say I thought Sasquatch was her mother. But anyway, I just rolled up to that wooly mammoth and said, “Do you work at Subway?”
“No, why do ask?”
“Because you just gave me a footlong.”
When I rolled off her sweaty bed with fur all over me, I turned on the TV and Arsenal had beat Everton 6-1. They came correct that day too…
Canons π
Dr Z , of course π
From: Dr Feelgood
To : Carlos Kickemhard
cc : All HT Security Staff
________________________
Carlos, I am rather disturbed by some of the things I am hearing about this “Shaft” character. Under no circumstances let this individual any where near Green Eyes, or indeed any of our delectable Swedes (Lars excepted).
This individual has the potential to upset many of our more delicate lady travellers, and as you know, I will not let anything undermine the profitability of the company.
PS – I trust you are finding your new stick to your liking? Feel free to brandish it if you see this “Shaft” type anywhere near the Sports Carriage.
Dear Staff Nurse Wolfie
Don’t you worry, my dear. The positions I have in mind for the female chiro are an all together different type. And not ones that I would want having to deal with at all.
I also thought that she might be useful in distracting those bothersome types that occasonally wander into The Quackery and are somehow immune to your “charms”. That StevIe T chap might be shown the error of his ways if we can give him the right chiro “experience”, if you get my drift.
Then we’ll see if he favours (happy) clinical outcomes over double blind randomised control studies… π
Dr T
cc Nurse Wolfie.
I’ve been pondering whether we need to bring patient Shaft into The Quackery for a spot of Bromide tea, but to be honest he seems a well adjusted type, so let’s just keep an eye on him, eh?
Dr C,
It is good to see that you are turning your mind to medical matters once again. Your new Boss, when appointed, will be pleased to discover that you have knuckled down and decided to resurrect your professional reputation.
PS – I think you will find that your copy of the Feelgood Tapes has oxidised, given the length of time it was kept under wraps. I never did find out how you managed to obtain a copy, but no harm done, eh?
In the spirit of mutual understanding, please help yourself to a Rioja (once surgery has closed of course).
8)
Mornin’ Gents (and not so Gents),
We’re still reeling out here from Joe Pa’s dismissal and Perry’s gaff. Good to know the usual suspects are up to the usual hijinks.
I am SOOOOO jealous of the Evertonian plans; just know I will be there in spirit *stinking up the joint (or maybe with said joint)* You boyos have fun and be safe.
CoR – my favorite team-building/mental-health class ever started off in “truth” circle and ended with one guy telling his co-worker that he’d been shafting, I mean shagging, er “sleeping with” his wife. Well, let’s just say, I wish I had brought some popcorn. π
TaBS – thanks for recognizing my epic assist fail…my daughter (almost 3) is already better at setting up goals than her old man.
Shaft – awwww yeah…big girls need love too!
BMBD!
To : Dr Feelgood
From : Carlos Kickemhard .
We have had him under surveillance for some time Sir .
Reports are conflicting at this stage . On the one hand , some staff are reporting a case of “all mouth and no trousers” , a description which had Wolfie Smallballs salivating ( I gave him a good kicking ) , whilst others , (mostly of Far Eastern origin admittedly) have said ” so big , he’ll make your eyes bleed ” .
Investigations are continuing . Before I make any final conclusions , I would be grateful if you would advise as to whether there has been any discolouration in the primary asset of Green Eyes .
Very much liking my new stick , very effective I must say , quite takes me back to the Good old Days of The Peruvian Riots , when I was … ahem … learning my trade .
Carlos, if I detect even the faintest discolouration of the famous Green Eyes, then you can go nuclear – and bring me his moustache for framing.
Jolly good Dr C . Consider myself suitably reassured . Time for your Pipe Doc … ?
It would appear Dr Feelgood still has no idea how the Feelgood Tapes were obtained . Looks like we are free to repeat the process as and when required . π
Yes nurse – strange how he hasn’t twigged on….. still, anyone delusional enough to call themself a Dr when they are nothing of the sort deserves all they get. Oh….
Dr Feelgood , Understood Sir , and I shall await details of your ocular examination of said subject .
Apologies for misleading heading @276 , had to use tabs computer , as I’m currently on a surveillance job on Smallballs – primary suspect on The Feelgood Tapes case
Afternoon Lonestar , have no fear , we shall raise a glass (or eight ) to absent friends π
And I thought I was the one with personality disorders…..
Just call me Sybil π
Nothing to see here, Andy, move along now……..
Dr Z @274 Is there surgery on the HT too? π Blimey!
Chucklesome moments in the above drinks, well done gents.
This caught my eye today;
Birmingham want to take Newcastle striker Nile Ranger, 20, on loan.
Full story: Daily Mirror
Surely not. The Loan Ranger?
Voddie time!
Only for the very badly behaved Harsha π
Mission for Lonestar, find this guy and sort him out;
http://d24w6bsrhbeh9d.cloudfront.net/photo/496608_460s.jpg
Afternoon H2H and heh π
Got an idea who Champion the not-so-wonder Horse is at Birmingham , but who the f*ck is Tonto ?
Anyway , let’s get stuck into the voddie and ponder awhile π
H2H@288 – What was that man thinking ? No amount of remuneration can compensate for the knowledge that you have completely shafted the male population at large
Did you know that “Tonto” in Spanish is “stupid” – seems a little harsh on the poor chap. Wasn’t he the one always getting the idiot in the mask out of trouble?
tabs, Tonto in Spanish means fool, so take your pick.
Speaking of fools, after closer examination of the gent in the link I have come to the conclusion that he plays for the other team,and I don’t mean the Spuds, proof being, he’s looking towards the camera and his hands are outside the bra.
Maybe so Dr C , struggling with childhood memories , had Tonto down as the “silent but violent ” type . It would seem there was more to the chap – scent-tracking , bear-stalking – that type of thing .
Was Champion The Wonder Horse The Lone Ranger’s horse , or was he a star in his own right , with his own series ?
Sorry Dr C.
Didn’t see you there. Pull up a voddie.
Wasn’t Silver his horse?
As in Hi Ho Silver?
Or was that just a popsong?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=avP-8i_YEO8
Yeh H2H , I immediately had him down as a player of the pink oboe . ( Who else designs bras FFS) , but I didn’t want to be gayist . Thought I’d leave it to someone else to be the first to break cover π
Arsenal porn… apologies if someone has posted it before. Lest we forget….. http://arsenalist.com/video/?id=bTebxpuryvI&t=yt
Takes it down to the byline…
Silver was definitely his horse.
Champion was a different breed altogether….
Silver rings a bell , you may well be right H2H .
Time to put in a cross …
In the net, but he knew nothing about it. π
Cracking volley by tabs?
Well I say , it’s only gone and floated straight over the Keepers head !
And the jubilation knows no bounds … π
Ahh H2H – you have stumbled into the sordid world of what we Texans call “Frontier Justice.”
The offender in the picture being an Aggie (a “graduate” of Texas A&M) has neither decency nor common sense…
Imagine, creating a brassiere designed to deny us the titillating (or tata-llating?) joys of a cold room or female athletics? Only an Aggie would think that was a good idea.
I do not associate with (many) Aggies (I only know two personally), but I can assure you this young “engineer” (Engineer? Aggies don’t even know what “engines” are. Really.) has been properly “sorted.”
Smallballs and Carlos would be pleased. π
As further evidence, an Aggie joke for you:
So an Aggie, by some means, gets accepted to graduate school at Harvard. *By the way, an Aggie would NEVER get into Harvard by legitimate means.*
As he is walking across campus, he stops a student and asks –
“Howdy, partner. Where’s the library at?”
The student looks him over ruefully and says, “My good man. Here at Harvard, we do not end our queries with a preposition.”
Unfazed, the intrepid Aggie asks, “Ok. So where’s the library at, asshole?”
*Aggies are like lovable Spuds – if there were such a thing – you dislike them, you don’t understand them, but most of all… you just feel sorry for them*
BMBD!
More a speculative punt Harsha π
Well done, lads… You’re a sly one, TaBS. π
I had a chance to score, but couldn’t resist adding the Aggie joke.
Once again, foiled by an Aggie.
*Hook ’em, horns*
BMBD!
Thanx for the info Lonestar, whatever he is, he deserves a good kicking. π
And tabs finally scores with Wolfie nowhere in sight.
Cheers chaps . Too right Dr Z π and I’m gonna savour the moment !
Just gorged myself on Dr C’s porn @297 . That piano solo and Thierry’s magic gets me every time !
*Reaches for box of tissues . For the eyes , one hastens to add*
For the eyes… sure TaBS π
I have it on good authority that Smallballs gets a “Shaft” whenever he/she/it logs on to arsenalist…
BMBD!
Lonestar , it would appear we all get a “Shaft” these days when we log on here π
thanks for the porn, cg. something about thierry, when he hit a ball it stayed hit. he could laser it wherever he wanted it, could curl it, chip it, and was a master at going around the keeper. i cannot understand why he didn’t win the golden ball in the early ’00s.
tabs for 300, nice one!
In other news, I seem to be monopodal, putting everything on the left foot, and completely ignoring my right one.
At the same time, I baffled the foot doctor, as his battery of tests, very clever stuff etc. seemed to show that I am more stable with my eyes closed and on the foam stuff.
Which is the opposite of what should be.
Anyway, while I can believe that the new in-soles I’ll get will be better designed and efficient than the old ones, I’m yet to be convinced that it’ll solve all my troubles. Especially as he said that all his stuff showed interesting things, but nothing that should point towards lower back problems.
Cheers Ollie .
Sorry to hear of your problem .
By “foam stuff” , do you mean London Pride ? π
Ollie, stable?
The prosecution rests, your honour.
8)
I blame the interlull for what follows……
The Scene
D L Ltd – Human Resources Dept – Interview Room 2
Dr Feelgood is sitting at a round table, a gigantic Sombrero on his head and around his shoulders, what can only be described as a psychedelic poncho. Β He is nervously drumming his fingers on the table.
Carlos Kickemhard lurks in the background with a menacing stare…..
Feelgood : Β “Jeez, Edwin where is this guy – you did tell him 2pm sharp?”
Edwin: Β “Easy Dr F, the guy has to fly in from Acapulco, its a bit further away than Luton….”
Feelgood : “I’m just totally excited to meet a kindred sociopath, errr, I mean spirit, and more to the point, get to the next interview with them Californian girls….”
*Feelgood absent mindedly starts whistling the Beach Boys hopelessly out of tune*
Edwin : Β “Ah about that Dr F, I’ve been meaning to talk to you about those girls…..”
A 1970s telephone, mounted on the wall and un-noticed till then, starts to ring, and Edwin, glad of the momentary diversion, rushes to answer it.
Edwin: Β “Excellent. Β Send him up – we’re in Interview Room 2 today. Β Mr Gonzalez is on his way Dr Feelgood.”
Carlos Kickemhard growls in the background……
“Is it time for the stick yet? Β I really want to swing this stick”
Feelgood : “Patience Carlos, you are about to meet a man who is going to get me into heaven and I won’t need to bribe St Peter (or Santos Pedro as I call him) for the privilege”
A suave, sophisticated man of Spanish descent walks purposefully toward Dr Feelgood and offers his hand in friendship but then realises that Feelgood is suddenly down on one knee and babbling incoherently in a faux Spanish accent…..
Feelgood: Β “Aah, weelcome Seenyore Gonzals, we are so gled you could come…..”
Gonzalez: (turns away and sits down in Feelgood’s seat) Β “Right. Β I’ll take the job on 3 conditions. Β
1. Β Your medical team clearly need some direction – you must put me in charge of the Quackery.
2. Β I need extra living space for my Roosters – get me a room fit for Cocks. Β (In the background Edwin types “white hart lane” into Google Maps)
3. Β Don’t introduce me to your girlfriends – those two chain smoking ladies outside with the yellow skin have got hairier legs than my pet spider. Β No thanks Feelgood. Β How about that one with the Green Eyes?”
Feelgood, crushed, is almost in tears….. Β “Well, err since you put it like that…..we do of course have a few more candidates to see…..erm, do you have any other questions?”
Gonzalez: “One. Β Whose that team they call the Arsenal?”
To be continued…..
hehs tabs and Dr Z
Great stuff Dr Z – proper laugh out loud stuff π π
Bit mean to keep Mr Gonzalez in suspenders though π
Lonestar, I take it that you are a UT Austin graduate yourself then?:)
Jeez , I was promised a kindred spirit , an hombre who knew the meaning of the words “profit” , “corruption” and “rampant sex drive” .
And what do I get , a lily-livered Brit dressed for the Beach . Well this “Green Eyes” test will be decisive .
If he’s prepared to put the feelings of some bitch employee before the bottom line , he aint the hombre for me .
There’s always that vacancy about to come up in Italy .
If on the other hand , he accedes to my request … we could rule the world …
Catalan, sorry meant to post a while back – thanks for the link @ 297 – I am sure that is the film that Feelgood showed to Joan Terry recently.
tabs @ 318 – cheers. This interlull could finally send me over the edge.
Thankfully there will be a few who have gone before to cushion my fall.
π
good dr. z., that’s classic. thanks.
please note, for the record, my girl’s twins have yet to arrive, they are taking the eurostar from paris, where they’ve been on vacation. i believe the pair in your waiting room with the spider-hairy legs are from luton.
Luton via Springfield, Scruz π
Yep Dr Z , already jumped off that cliff-face myself .
Scruz π
Laters Chaps .
ExGoMG @ 320
NOTHING comes before the bottom line.
Green Eyes?
Look into them.
I bet you will see traces of red.
Baltimorean @ 319 –
You got that right, mate.
If you cut my arm, one vessel bleeds Arsenal red (thank the good Lord) and the other vessel (you see my good physio friend told me the arm only contains two vessels) bleeds burnt orange. π
‘Hook ’em, horns.
BMBD!
dr z., we’re not responsible for them once we convince them to leave springfield, however. the spider-ladies heard luton is loverly in the springtime, and bolted.
@ dr. f, nothing except (perhaps) carlos’ shaft, erm, his stick.
Evening nutjobs.
Apologies. Really mistimed this week badly. Just back from the management’s birthday dinner. Proper posh nosh.
Anyway, whatever else I can remember about the Training Centre will more than likely be the subject of tomorrow night’s 5/6/7 (* delete as appropriate) post.
Superb conversion for 300, TaBS.
I love you Arsenal, I do..
I really do…
So privileged to be an Arsenal fan.
Snir!
Buddy! We missed you.
BMBD!
Holic, does this mean Management shares a birthday with our clairvoyant Israeli?
If so, Happy Birthday Mrs Holic.
Drinks all round – Lars is splashing out on champagne for the birthday boy π
I think young Snir was yesterday?
She does however share it with mad Jens π
Happy birthday to the management !!!
Scorpios <3
good get, dr. f.
happy birthday to mrs. ‘holic. here’s to many more years in ‘holic management…
a round of sazeracs for the bar, my good man.
Feelgood has no sense of time, Holic – its the strange hours and company that he keeps, I reckon π
Many happy returns to Mrs Holic (and mad Jens).
Look forward to your 7-pinter tomorrow π
This place is always a cheer in the darkness of the Interlull. Multiple heh’s.
And a most blessed birthday to the Management
Holic @328 , Cheers , I learnt from the Master π
Many Happy Returns to The Management .
A glass of Krug on Lars ? Lovely !
Cheers Zico – great stuff Dr F.
Oh, hang on, Dr C wants a word…..
Vintage Bollinger, I hope TaBS π
Catalan π
Happy birthday to the management and Mad Jens. Are they celebrating together?
Senor Mexicano (o quiza βEl Jefeβ?).
Bienvenido a The Quackery. Estoy seguro que puedemos trabajar juntos sin problemas, y ademΓ‘s, a la beneficio de todos. Claro, cuando dijo βtodosβ, refiero a nosotros, no la junta del tren. Ellos hijos de putas, especialmente Dr F (sabes que no es un Dr, verdad?).
Claro que vas disfrutar la vida aquΓ. ….Tenemos las drogas, todos las putas que es posible necesitar (en el coche de juegos), y muchas personas con quien puedemos experimentar sin miedo.
Mes companjeros Dr T y Hermana Wolfie son muy buenos. Wolfie β un poco maracon y loco, pero funciona! Tiene un amigo, Carlos, quien es el jefe de seguridad. Son buenos amigos, entiendes?
Entonces β tenemos control de los drogas, seguridad y una copia de les Dr F Videosβ¦. en realidad, Dr F y Prof TES peinsan que tienen control del trenβ¦.. pero sabemos quien tienen el esfuerza, no?!
El mejor β no entienden espaΓ±ol! Perfecto.
AquΓ tienes un purro y un cerveca. Relajerteβ¦. Vamos tenir diversiΓ³n.
Salud! El puta madre.
Dr C ,
Si Senor Si .
@H2H way back at 292
Tonto not only means stupid or more accurately “dunce”
But Keemosabe is a Bastardization of the Spanish “Quien no Sabe”
Or he who knows nothing.
Thinking of which he comes my boss the Gila woman.
Later.
Holic @339 , As you wish Sir , it all tastes the same after the first Bottle , and Lars has been kind enough to lay on a Magnum π
el buen dr. c, escrita maravillosamente. gracias por la cartilla, π
@lcg, as opposed to the gila monster?
Gracias amigo – muy genial!
El Jefe ? Perfecto !
Hermana Wolfie y Carlos el jefe de Seguridad muy buenos amigoes aussi π
Bastardos.
Treason.
Heads will roll.
dr c., de nada…la cordialidad no es nada si no la esencia del rojobianco…
May I introduce my esteemed colleague, Mil Mascaras. Someone who Carlos Kickemhard show be acquainted with if he is not already.
http://www.wrestlingmuseum.com/pages/bios/halloffame/mascarasbio.html
Aims at 350 with a crisp header . . .
Too late ! Merde . .
Dr C –
can I help ? Has Carlos mistakenly attacked you and you’ve awoken speaking in a foreign tongue ?
I was already confused by yet another plethora of new, strange characters, and now this . . .
By the way, the new chemical supplies are top-top quality . . .Patient Ganggoolie is ASLEEP!!
Edwin, get me Francis Drake on the blower,
He’s going to have to come out of retirement.
Drs(?) F/Z/C, Tabs, – good stuff above π
Can’t promise ‘Death by Guinness’, but I’m there for Everton π
Yay, nice one Trev.
I’ll introduce you to Feelgood – he’s promised to wear his poncho. π
See? π
I told you things would go to pot (no pun intended, or was it?) when you get California and Mexico involved on matters.
*Laments studying Latin in high school instead of Spanish*
BMBD!
A well deserved first cap for Koscielny tomorrow:
http://www.theshortfuse.com/2011/11/10/2552793/arsenal-defender-laurent-koscielny-to-start-for-france-vs-usa-tomorrow?
Probably deserved 8 ball, but personally I hope he catches a heavy cold till the end of the interlull.
Thanks also to you for turning the conversation back to Arsenal (and in English too!)
@Lonestar Gooner
A nadia aqui fumaron Mota senior. Entonces, no te eganarmos por favor.
@BT8BBGFG
Geez dude, I’m kind of happy for him but don’t we already risk enough players to international squads.
During the “interlull” some teams sharpen up on deficencies and rest.
Almost all our starting eleven travel around the globe,practice and play with their national squads and return tired. It’s sort of a double edged sword really.
I personally worry about Robin,TV5 and Sczc we really can’t afford to lose those guys.
Zico, I think Ollie is the original culprit for starting to post articles about Arsenal in French, which is considerably more foreign than Spanish to most of us over on this side of the pond. Maybe it is more de rigueur in Fife?
Thank you all for another incredible day in this nuthouse.
Until tomorrow…
Take care you lot.
Boston, hope the next lot of tests are ok.
Nightie night, ‘holic. π
One more edifying read before you nod off:
http://news.yahoo.com/mexican-drug-cartel-tries-silence-internet-224155885.html
Particularly troubling is the part that says: “”This is what will happen” to trouble-making Internet users. That message was also signed with a “Z.”.”
Maybe Carlos Kickemhard should check on this “Z” character?
lcg @ 362 –
Unfortunately my dear friend, my Latin now is as useful as my Spanish.
*Donde es mi, ehhhhhhh, translator* π
BMBD!
Lonestar, It is interesting that the BBC website has Rick Perry’s debate blunder as its lead news story:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/
What struck the BBC editors about the story? I think that beyond the stuttering and his not being able to name one of the government departments he had announced he plans to abolish, it must be his astoundingly bad English. Saying he would remain in the race, he told the press: “This ain’t a day for quitting nothing.”
A candidate to improve on the legacy of George W. Bush? What a question.
Thinking I’m treading a fine line, I will beat a hasty retreat from the political threshold …
Dr T.
Asleep?! I slept three hours last night and went to school!!
The new stuff sucks just like the old ones.
I have to say you make it hard to keep up! I didn’t show at the bar one day and I have no idea what y’all are talking about.
And when on earth (or why) did you decide to change to Spanish?!
@Snir Geuli
I left you a Happy Birthday in my best Hebrew (which admittedly isn’t very good). Doesn’t that count for something?
Please respond with a Hebrew number from 0-10 and it’s corresponding meaning.
Are you Jewish or just know a bit of Hebrew from friends in the wet coast (sooooooo many Jews there)? Was surprised nobody said mazal tov which is like the most famous Hebrew saying π
On a scale of 1-10 it was eser (10), that is the way to “spell” it in English.
8ball –
I had to step away before responding, but I agree, best not to venture too close to the political issues… that said, his performance was amuzing.
Snir –
Oy vey, you don’t have to be Jewish to know a bit of Hebrew π
BMBD!
LG – I don’t like your firm!!! You work too much… Ever since you started working and we didn’t NFL text the Pats started looking like shit.
I’m not liking this at all… Especially with a trip to those mother fucking Jets this week.
Snir –
HA!
Guess where I am right now, big guy… that’s right, I’m in my office.
The Jets are licking their chops right now, but Brady and the Pats can’t/won’t lose 3 in a row.
They’d better not anyway.
We’ll catch up on secure channels this weekend, boss.
BMBD!
Sure thing LG.
Holics, I’m back to full functionality. Here is proof my abilities are the same as they always were π
http://www.dailystar.co.uk/football/view/220217/Arsenal-in-no-hurry-over-Robin-van-Persie/
Just watching the u21 ingerland game, and tho Ox is one tasty player. Some incredible turns, a cheeky chip for a nearly goal, and an absolutely gorgeous, green eyed reverse pass…
Snir @376 –
Now that Peter Hill-Wood character has the right idea. Let’s not trouble RvP; rather approach him in the Summer to sign a longterm contract. π
We ALWAYS negotiate so well in the summer. Here’s a thought, how about going to RvP and put him on a cool β€250,000 a week – like yesterday?
I’m sure Ivan and I.P.A. are right behind PHW on this one. Where are Lady Nina and Silent Stan when we need them?
BMBD!
Time for another Behind the Arse, TaBS…
BMBD!
Lonestar, Don’t tell me you nodded off!
400 is quite a tempting objective …
Sitting there like two pointy nipples, as a matter of fact.
200 on one side …
… and 200 on the other.
Assist, any body?
Graphic images can be fun …
Skips through the sliding challenge of Gallas.
OHHHHH that’s beautiful skill by the new Arsenal winger. Who said they didn’t replace the greedy lesbian?
He squares it……
Ohhhh! But it’s intercepted. Last ditch defending that was!
They play it from the back… Try and play their way out of the pressing play of Arsenal
Van Der Fart picks the ball up in midfield, but Song is there to muscle him off the ball.
Weak from Van Der Fart, went down way too easily.
Song passes it back to Vermaelen.
*shouting for the ball*
Where’s the “greatest strikah eva” when you need him?
BTW San Diego sux.
BMBD!
Who squares it to Koscielny.
Koscielny plays his trademark ball, a beautiful pass to RvP who squares it to Ramsey.
Ramsey holds up the ball in midfield, weighing his options….
Plays a one-two with Arteta.
Snir / 8ball –
You know the barkeep is gonna sanction us for all this profligate “drinking” πΏ
But hey, laissez le bon temps rouller…
BMBD!
He spots Theo cutting inside and slips a beautiful pass in behind…
Vela, chips it over the keeper… *goal*
BMBD!
Now those posts were a reply for 8ball @385… π
That’s it for me, folks. Mission accomplished.
*Looks for quick exit, before ‘Hols gets angry*
Shaft – Peace, love, and hair grease y’all… π
BMBD!
Francis Coquelin’s accent is one of the weirdest I’ve ever heard.
It kinda sounds of a mixture between a British accent and a French accent but a really heavy one not like Woj’s accent.
That’s kinda cool π
Snir and Lonestar make a magnificent combo. π
You are true stars of the little screen. π
Snir / 8ball –
Drinks on the bar fellas.
The management will likely be none too pleased with our antics tonight.
So…is RvP gonna sign or not? (are we gonna make him an offer he can’t refuse?
BMBD!
If he doesn’t, I’ll be massively disappointed. Perhaps the most I’ve ever been when it comes to a player leaving.
It’s in our hands. Either buy some top quality, show ambition and sign himup on about 130-150 or
Give him 250,000, end of. No questions asked. Just flash it along with a big chunk from image rights and then start concentrating on building a team around him.
I said this a couple of weeks ago that RvP has reached Titi level in that he is expected to score every single game and if he doesn’t it’s a huge surprise.
That makes him indispensable. The club broke the wage structure when it was imperative to flash the cash at Titi and keep him and he signed.
I don’t want to hear about self sustaing model and all that when it comes to RvP. I don’t like the term because it’s too American sports for me, but I’m gonna use it because it truly is THAT important. He should get the franchise tag because he is our franchise player. Self sustaining model? Well, get rid of deadweight in ANY way possible and that would free up some money to break the structure for him but not the model.
We have to keep him. Doesn’t matter how.
Snir is well and truly back π
‘ello chaps
“Don’t like the term” refers to franchise player. Doesn’t refer to self sustaining model.
8 ball @ 366
Any similarities are purely co-incidental π
Z
Dr T
Didn’t you get the standard issue Babel Fish? Or maybe it fell out?
Not to worry – take one of these http://translate.google.com/ and all will be (a little) clearer.
Anyway, I have good news, my esteemed colleague – I think we have trumped “the management” as far as their plans to impose control on The Quackery.
Things are coming together very nicely. Bad news – you may have to find that Babel Fish.
I think I have a faulty Babel Fish…..
“Claro que vas disfrutar la vida aquΓ. β¦.Tenemos las drogas, todos las putas que es posible necesitar (en el coche de juegos), y muchas personas con quien puedemos experimentar sin miedo.”
“Sure you’ll enjoy life here. …. We have the drugs, all the whores may need (in car games), and many people with whom you can experiment without fear.”
However contrary to a certain physician’s perceptions, the Feelgood Tapes, which he has in his grubby little fist, will self-combust as soon as he tries to put it into his infernal tape recorder thngy……
This heresy will not go unpunished. Justice will be swift and merciless. With punishment in the extreme meted out to Peruvian traitors.
Serial posters should be forbidden to get centuries.
Well nipped in Lonestar!
Dr F π
Zico
I don’t want to reinforce any stereotypes (*coughbullshit*), but perhaps you should explain to Dr F that there are PROBABLY more reliable and trustworthy types out there than an Mexican Jailer and a Peruvian security guard…..??
PS – remarkably, your Babel Fish seems to beworking just fine π
Catalan,
Such cynicism in one so Spanglish…….
Incidentally, Feelgood put the Babel Fish in his mouth, as opposed to his ear.
That might be the problem. π
More .con goodness:
Check this question:
The team seemed came out strongly in the second half – would you agree?
http://www.arsenal.com/news/news-archive/-there-s-so-much-to-come-from-these-players-
Sub editors the world over must tremble with fear when you show up, Ollie. π
We want the club to communicate more. Ollie wants the club to communicate better π
Morning All
Looks like I missed the majority of a top day in the bar yesterday. That’ll teach me to have a day job π
zico, tabs, Lonestar, Dr.C, Ollie, Snir, 8 ball, scruz, CoR et al fabulous work one and all.
The nuthouse gets rowdier by the day. It won’t be long before we’ll be able to charge admission for some of this lunacy π
Cheers & UTA
Kendo Nagasaki @352 , I am not acquainted with this Mascaras chap , but I believe Wolfie is – provides an essential part of his morning make-up routine .
8ball @366 , I’m on the case !
Dr F @411 – ” Peruvian traitors ” ???? There is not a peruvian word for “traitor” . The concept does not exist . Keep your friends close , and your enemies closer π
Hey TS
It’s the interlull.
It brings out all the nutters. Glad I was somewhere else. π
What’s a day job?
When I was in the pub yesterday I heard a couple of dickheads saying that they wouldn’t feel safe on an aircraft if they knew the pilot was a woman.
What a pair of sexist twats. I mean, it’s not as if she’d have to reverse the bloody thing!
π
BTW, have you all been here and signed this petiiton?
http://t.co/GuS2X6pV
Public funds for the LWCs to re-develop the Sh*thole? Not on your nelly….
IMO, it’s our duty to object. BTW, not sure how this works for not UK residents but worth a try, no?
zico @ #417 & #420 – Heh! and er…heh!
Dr.C @ #421 – Er…ditto!
Have you signed the petition yet fellas, it’ll only take a moment of your precious π
Morning All ,
Trev @357 – Excellent news . See you there .
@353 Who is El Pringo ? π
Dr F @356 π
Lonestar @379 – It’s on its way . 2/3 in the can . Holic , I think you’ll need to strengthen your Disclaimer π
Well done on the century Lonestar , exquisite finish with some nice build-up play from 8Ball and the tireless Snir . Where’s that Bromide Doc ? π
Good to have you back TS . Feelgood has missed the calming presence of Prof TES π
Local Police hunting the ‘knitting needle nutter’ who has stabbed six people in the arse in the last 48 hours, believe the attacker could be following some kind of pattern.
TS
Petition well and truly signed….
Dr C , heh and heh π
Dr Z π
Petition signed TS .
Petition signed TS.
Roxette and zico daughters will be forced to sign tonight.
Catalan 421 and 425 π π
Carlos @ 419, Dr F advises me that he has strong suspicions that you are acting as a double or indeed triple agent, and are therefore not to be trusted. He requests you return the Company shiny stick at your earliest opportunity.
Dr F was also seen racing toward a private charter jet this morning claiming urgent business meeting(s) abroad.
Thanks for pointing that out, tabs, didn’t see Trev’s 357.
It’s going to be a monumental gathering.
Fair enough as it should be the game that actually marks the 125th anniversary.
Dr Z @428 Noooooooo !! Anything but my stick π
Morning Ollie – Indeed , it promises to be a day and a half π
Whoops , rumbled @431 π
tabs and Dr.C – Thank you for signing the petition, it just feels so wrong on so many levels.
Cheers tabs @ #424, appreciate the kind words. As for Edwin being a ‘calming presence’ on Feelgood, I’m not so sure….. π
Very good of Feelgood to lay on Green Eyes for me last night . Feel suitably refreshed . Mind you , her eyes were very bloodshot , she must have been out on the sauce the night before . Can’t really blame her , that Feelgood would drive anyone to Drink , what with his Sombrero and cod-spanish .
Wonder if I got the job …
Excellent zico @ #428 re: the petition. Top chap!
….but Dr.F has now chartered a private jet??? Edwin’s feather spitting at the misappropriated PARs will turn into a sh*t-fit at the amount of DLL money spent on this kind of profligacy. Is this the beginning of the end for DLL? π
… and we were all so happy when we were penniless …
Maybe competing with the Mexican drug lords isn’t all it’s cracked up to be? π
Did someone mention paying for this lunacy?
Subscription notices are in the post! π
….. Viva La revolucion!!!
Viva The Quackery Junta!
El Jefe para Presidente!!
Heh 8ball!
With success comes responsibilities and, inevitably, higher stakes.
All is not lost, however, I’m confident that the board will be able to resolve their differences π
‘Holic @ #438
Excellent. This time next year Rodney…. π
Zico, TS
For God’s sake pull your men together – don’t let them create a power vacuum on the HT. Look what happened in Venezuela…..
Dr C’s going bonkers. I’m going to try and calm him down, but at the moment he’s got his cowboy boots up on the desk, smoking a cheroot and calling everyone “gringo”. The tequila’s not helping. Nor the dreams of Salma Hayek.
HT needs DLL…… sign the petition.
Re: Ollie, I’m working on my serial posting problem, but at least think I deserve credit for restraining myself last night when 400 was in sight. π And I did attempt to decipher your France Football posts without the help of Babelfish, Google Translate or any other foreign substances, even though the articles were in a foreign language. π
Just a thought…
If anyone has one of those “SIMS” games (Snir??)… perhaps they could create a HT version, with all of the characters. Would be interesting to see what happened….. π
Not that I’m advocating true pennilessness. Seven-pinters must be bought somehow. π
Roll on five o clock, Guinness hour!
OK, a number of you:
Ex GoMG @ 434 – Feelgood claims not have lain on anyone last night π
TS @ 435 – Edwin, whilst a legend in his own lab-coat, does not really understand the financial machinations of the Feelgood Foundation. Far from this being the end of DLL, these recent events will force a root and branch review of the whole Corporate Management team. Faith has been given perhaps where it shouldn’t, and Feelgood has gone off to contemplate the future. I expect some of his thoughts may surface in extracts from his diary, which have been leaked all over the internet
Catalan Gunner @ 444 – the great thing about a revolution is that you always end up at the place that you started from – one of the mantras of Delirious Locomotives Limited, and one of the great strengths of the Happy Train
Oh and Goonerholic @ 438 – subscriptions to the usual Swiss account with anonymity guaranteed – that will do nicely.
Now did someone mention Guinness hour? 4pm start for zico today – its POETS day, after all.
FFL managers take notice. The interlull injury crisis has hit one of the big players, apparently but not one of Arsenal’s, knock on wood:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/2011/nov/11/manchester-city-sergio-aguero-injured
500 before the 7 pinter is posted people?
Dr. Feelgood must be contemplating the relationship between anarchy, revolution, money, happiness and other (un)weighty matters. π
Catalan @ 444 should have read Catalan @ 442. π
Delirious Locomotives Ltd. – COMMUNICATION
To: Dr. Feelgood, Wolfgang Smallballs, All DLL Shareholders
From: Prof T E Storey
cc: The Quackery, All Staff
Re: Extraordinary AGM – Saturday 10th December
______________________________________________________
Notice is hereby given that an Extraordinary AGM has been called at the The Tollington Arms, London, N7 on Saturday 10th December at 1:00PM to reinstate the board in light of the new commercial offers that present themselves to the company and to vote on the revised fiscal policies that need to be approved in order for the company to excecute on its revised plans.
All shareholders are welcome to attend this meeting. The HT Mark II will be providing transportation for all customers and shareholders to this event. It will leave DLL HQ at 9:00AM on the morning of 10th December and will arrive at The Emirates Stadium at 12:45.
If you intend to vote by proxy then please submit your vote in writing to The Company Secretary c/o Professor T E Storey.
Err, Professor Storey,
Will the train not be getting to the stadium a bit early?
8 ball @ 449
I think you will find he has more cerebral matters to contemplate – like “what is it that turns a girl’s green eyes, red?”
How so zico?
Prof
I have fully briefed Nurse Wolfie and hereby delegate my vote to her in all matters re DLL EGM.
A shame I won’t be there in person – there waas actually a faint chance of me being in Laaaandan town for that date, but it’s all gone up in smoke. As do most things.
If the game is not kicking off at 3pm then my outward journey is fecked, as my train arrives at Kings X at 12:55!!
Dr.C @ #455
Noted if a little unconventional. Then again DLL is a ‘little’ unconventional too.
Up in smoke you say? Please replace the/your GT in the CMC after use.
Many thanks, Edwin.
Voting by proxy, Prof.
The fact that I choose a transvestite nurse as my proxy is neither here nor there….
Patient Zico – report to The Quackery for Blood pressure pills and an opthalmic exam (for checking timetables and fixture lists)
Zico @ #456
If you arrive at Kings-X at 12:55 then you should be able to attend the meeting comfortably by 1:30PM. It will still be in…err… full-flow by then, in fact it’ll still be in the ‘warm-up’ phase at that hour.
If critical, we could delay. What does Feelgood say?
Hope that helps.
Edwin
Voting by proxy (aye) assuming the issue relates to turning girls’ green eyes red. π π π
8Ball @437 – heh π
Dr C @437 439 heh π
Dr Z @447 – Poets day you say ? That should see us through to 600 , poppy seed inspired of course π
Prof TES @451 – EGM noted , but 12:45 ???? Dr Z “a bit early” ?????
What happened to the real man’s start time of 11:30 ? Early doors , Will it just be Holic and I guarding The GoonerHolic flag against the Barbarian hordes of The Arseblog Army ??
Dr C , you can rely on me . π
8 ball @ #460: You’re not showing on the shareholders list. I know you’re a patron as I see you on-board on a regular basis. Allow me to check again….
Dr. Feelgood: Have you provided The Company Secretary with an updated list of shareholders?
Dr Z@447 Heh π
tabs @ #461
Noted. The start time was constrained by the arrival of the HT at The Emirates. Some are relying on this service to attend. By all means arrive at 11:30 and protect our patch from the barbarians and vulgarians.
Regards, Edwin.
The battle cruiser will be open at 11. Just sayin’ like.
At last the voice of reason !!!
Well said ‘Holic . 11 it is then π
11 it is for me too π
Excellent news ‘Holic @ #466.
Would you be willing to prepare ‘The Brollie at The Tollie’ for the AGM until the cavalry arrives?
Correction at #469
EAGM!
and me . I’ll stick with the real men !
TS, Over here when we hear there’s a vote we don’t pay much attention to whether we are eligible, preferring to vote early, often and with our own interests in mind. The results are there for all to see. π
and I’ll be bringing up the rear π
I’ll be there for 1PM.
*searches desperately for an excuse that saves face*
I shall consult with our subsidiary, First Great Western, nearer the time, but I don’t do afternoon starts for afternoon matches. π
Prof TES @ 463
Dr Feelgood is away…….
why not have the HTMkII arrive directly at the Tollington at 1pm rather than the stadium at 12:45 and save everyone the walk – is it any wonder I was confused??
tabs @ 461 – unlike the last time, I will be around for the post match celebration – no more bursting on a p*** on the Picadilly line all the way to Heathrow!
I expect that I may miss the EGM, but since there are moves afoot to foment a revolution in the Boardroom, maybe just as well.
I hope to manage at least a couple of liveners before kick off all the same…..
TS @474 – Keep searching old son π
Holic@475 – There’ll be a pint waiting for you . Thinking of camping out , just to beat the opening door rush π
I have 440 miles to travel – so kind of think I have an excuse.
Although we all know the real reason was to ensure that I would miss the EAGM.
I recognise treachery in each and every face……
Let you off then Dr Z – might cost you a Rum post-game though π
It’s already budgeted for tabs, you know that π
Good Job Ollie isn’t around !
What’s an EAGM when its at home ?
And what does “bursting ON a p***” mean ? Ancient Caledonian phrase ? π
Heh Zico @ #478, excellent! No treachery here. United we stand, divided we fall and all that. Anyway, I thought Feelgood was going to be arriving in the executive carriage of the HT and that you were making your own arrangements. Are you trying to tell me that you and he are the same person???? BTW, the last time I looked, there were no rail tracks outside The Tollie π
Tabs @ #477, also heh! Whilst i searc for that I could also dig-out a mostly unused sleeping bag to help you camp-out. I don’t think Wolfie has any problems camping-out, right? π
TS @482 heh π
Correction @ #470
EGM! π³
You lot have been posting like mad.
I was starting to check where I left off but it’s too much work.
443 from 8ball duly noted
Correction @ #482
‘I search’ π³
Ah , talk of the Devil ! π
How’s the new Barnet looking Ollie ?
Holic@475 β Thereβll be a pint waiting for you .
tabs, my bet is on the other way around.
I’ve not known anyone to arrive before the landlord over the last couple of years.
Short, and redder than ever, tabs.
Shame it will have somewhat faded by Dec 10th but hey-ho.
But hang on, how do you know?
Or were you lurking on the arses?
I don’t remember mentioning getting my hair cut here :s
Ollie @ 488 he was a poor 3rd before Bolton
Seem to remember him saying something about having a Colombian for breakfast π
Had a quick wander over to the Arses this morning .
And @488 , you stand corrected . Lars , Dr Z and I were all in place for Holic’s arrival for Bolton . Mind you , I think Holic had suffered a cancellation and we only beat him by about half a pint !
Ah , see you got there first Dr Z . As I recall , Holic didn’t make the podium .
Hah. I missed the Bolton game, Dr Z, that’s why I didn’t know.
I do remember the mention of said breakfast indeed.
Lurkers of the world unite !
Note to all: there is no chance of me aiming for an 11am appearance when I travel on the day for 3pm kick-offs.
I used to aim for 12pm; now I’m more of a 1pm person.
Do lurkers notice each other, tabs?
Good point , well made Ollie !
And Arsenal come streaming forward in what surely must be their last attack . A good ball by Dixon finding Smith , For Thomas charging through the midfield … THOMAS … It’s up for Grabs now …
A man cannot drink the Liffy without getting a big plate of beans down first π
Heh , well in Holic π
Yeah, you’re right tabs @ 493
He didn’t waste any time getting the Glenfiddich on the table though…..
TS @ 482 – Feelgood doesn’t know whether he’s coming or going.
Heh nice one Holic @ 500.
Death by Guinness (reprise).
Complete accident again. Great build up play people. Indeed I was a poor fourth for said game, having hid around the corner until the famous Swedish wallet had arrived.
Best century ever, ‘holic!
Onwards to 600???
Certainly nothing to do with an innings from Welsh underarm bowling convicts, or whatever ‘holic calls them these days, TS.
Heh Ollie. Convicts being the operative word π
zico @ #502
Just so long as YOU make it to ‘the gathering’, all will be fine π
It’s going to get messy, isn’t it? π
Well in, ‘Holic.
One “accidental” century is an exception; but two “accidental” centuries make a trend…
*Searching for ‘Holic’s secret goal-scoring technology; wire taps?*
Thanks for the good words TaBS and Zico.
BMBD!
‘Holic @ #510
Hopefully…. π
I might drop a note to The Tollie Management requesting reinforced tables for that day.
Random thought: With Ollie under a brollie at The Tollie, oh golly!
*grabs coat and leaves*
HOLICCC … … right at the end . An unbelievable climax to the 500 drinks season . Well into injury time … The lurking drinkers are down , absolutely abject , Ollie is down , Dr Z is down , TS just stands there , Tabs is on his knees , Wolfie’s on his knees . Suddenly it was GoonerHolic , bursting through , the bounce fell his way , he flips it wide of Grobelaar , and we have the most dramatic finish maybe in the History of the Holic drinks .
Dr Z @502 – He certainly didn’t , pre noon as I recall π
TS @506 – maybe , but with ‘Holic in this type of form , there’s little hope for the rest of us .
Holic @510 – Oh yes !!
Afternoon Lonestar .
‘holic 510. There’s going to be a record bad influence at the Tollie.
Sorry, I meant record affluence.
TaBS –
So I take it that nothing torrid happened over there at 11:11am today?
Reports are that the Egyptians closed the Great Pyramid today to prevent “evil” ceremonies from taking place thereupon.
I suggest the DL LTD management fire up the HT MK II and convene an emergency “executive” session at the “Big Three Dimensional Triangle” tonight at 11:11pm.
I know all you “lurkers” have masonic connections, so there should be a stop right underneath the limestone stack-a-block desert fortress.
I think you could bring some Californian [I’ll send some precious vials of blond llama blood (secret stash)] and you could make a sacrifice of one or two Spuds to guarantee the Arsenal some silverware this season.
Just a thought…
BMBD!
Lonestar @ #515
Have you been at the CMC again? π
Not sure how to respond to that Lonestar π
Off for a bit , catch you all later , when Holic has had his near Gallon π
Ah , you and me both TS π
TS –
I’m guilty. It’s Veteran’s Day and I just closed a couple of significant deals (too bad I couldn’t get a percentage of the deals’ face value), so I feel like a little puff-puff.
You know there’s some spooky-weird juju about them there pyramids… π―
BMBD!
Well done Lonestar, perfectably acceptable behaviour in this asylum/bar? π
Congrats on the orders BTW.
Lonestar,
Closed a couple of deals, you say?
We live in interesting times – any transport Management experience?
Dr. F –
Transport. Management. Experience… Hmmm, I’m afraid I haven’t a clue what any of these words mean. π
Thanks, TS. It’s been a very peculiar year. Now I’m off to try and save my soul by finishing some pro-bono (careful, Smallballs – careful) work I have too long neglected.
Up the Arse!
BMBD!
Lonestar. Transport Management Experience? Wasn’t that what the llama trains through the Rio Grande Valley hauling the Mexican Gold were all about? π
Oh sweet product of the Liffy, how shall I compare thee…
8 ball –
I outsourced all that stuff. I just cared for the Llamas once they reached Lonestar Farms. That way I could insulate meself from moral responsibility for the animals and any possible civil and criminal liability.
Just like Joe Pa did…, no wait –
‘Holic – please clarify what exactly is “product of the Liffy” and how it is sweet? If it is what I think it is, I think it may very well be sweet going down, but Ms. ‘Holic (many returns on the B-day btw) might agree with Ms. Lonestar that the by-product ain’t so sweet π
BMBD!
Compare thee to the one in front of me, Holic π
Holics, here is one I prepared earlier…….
The Scene – An unidentified caribbean island
A forlorn Dr Feelgood is reclining in a hammock under a Β cloudless, blue tropical sky.Β
Tears are forming at the corner of his eyes and his iPhone lies in pieces under a coconut tree.Β
He starts speaking aloud, although the only other character Β within earshot is his pet chimp, which he has cruelly adorned in a Tottenham shirt……
Feelgood: Β “Duplicitous, conniving, traitorous bastards, Gareth, that’s what they are.”
The chimp screeches in reply and then scratches his testicles…..
Feelgood’s long suffering wife appears with a large glass of Rum Punch and offers it to Feelgood……
Roxette : Β “There, there, now, drink Β up – that stuff always seem to cheer you up. Β And we’ll head back home on Monday and see if we can find you another train set….”
Once she has disappeared again Feelgood starts ranting….
“Ungrateful. Β The opportunities I gave them. Β That fucking slimey Mexican and his two cocks. Β As if one wasnt enough for any man. Β And that Peruvian psycho. Β To think I had him down as Boardroom material. Β All the while conniving with Xavi’s spine doctor. Β I gave them drugs. Β I gave them girls. I gave them bubble wrap suits. Β And for what?”
Roxette appears again, patiently begins to pick up the shards of the iPhone screen….
Roxette: Β “Now what have you gone and done with your play-phone?”
Feelgood, unable to contain himself….”Storey. Β Another one. Β He’s trying to wrest control of the Company. Β He’s only gone and called an EGM. Β So when I got his ridiculous e-mail I threw the infernal feckin apple at that tree…..”
Roxette: Β “That’s a coconut tree, not an apple tree, dear. Β Is it time for your bath? What do you say we have an early night and watch a DVD – one of your staff kindly sent over this one – its called “The Feelgood Tapes”?
The blood drains from Feelgood’s face and he starts speaking at 100 mph….
“Who sent it? Β Where did it come from? Β When did you get it? Have you watched it? It’s probably rubbish….”
Roxette : Β “I don’t know who sent it – there was a note though – it simply said $5m in used notes and the keys to the Executive Carriage or else – whatever that means….”
And here I was thinking you guys will be talking Arsenal or at least football after my RvP reply to LG’s question @405 π
Heh!
I hope you are keeping the Feelgood diary entries in a format that will make a new page on the blog maestro…
Snir –
You know one can never “expect” to talk footie in this bar…
Nothing happened out here at 11:11am either. I’ve been lied to.
*tosses proxy vote ballot in recycling basket*
BMBD!
@ Goonerholic
Any chance you could email me? There’s something I’d like to ask.
Thanks
Holic, he’s not worthy π
Fun, no worries, drop me a line, gooneratgoonerholicdotcom
zico @ #527, well prepared! I can see Gareth is to you what Bubbles was to Michael π
Edwin has but one thing to say: ‘Come back Feelgood, we can rescue this situation. Just stop spending all the feckin’ money.’
He also vehemently denies any knowledge of the note and has suspicions that it may have originated from The Quackery.
Re: Dr. Z @527: Roxette is a very symphathetic character, I must say. π
Re: Lonestar, Sneaky but effective is what I hear the management literature is saying about outsourcing. Sounds like you are right on top of things. π
Re: Lonestar @530: Proxy ballot in trash can? It sounds like the “miracle of democracy” has hit a bump in the road …
I’m afraid Ollie would frown if I posted four times in a row. π Not even a pithy phrase to justify it, either.
TS @ 534 – Gareth is a figment of a very sick mind – otherwise it would have been a Fulham shirt
8 ball @ 535 – she has been known to be patient with her biggest patient, yes. π
Re: Lonestar and Snir @405/406, I think people’s silence can be taken as agreement that we should resign RVP for whatever it takes, assuming things stay as they are more or less (i.e. RVP healthy and scoring goals). He has been great.
But maybe people are silent because they are absolutely terrified that the Nasri saga could repeat itself this summer with RVP in the starring role? RVP will sure be in a strong bargaining position, but Arsenal should have the resources needed to retain him even if they can’t match the obscene money available at Man City and the other usual suspects.
Dr Z @527 , you almost had me feeling sorry for the old bugger . π
Seriously , brilliant π π
The interlull and Mrs Holics birthday is to blame, tabs. That and a seriously slow day at work.
Idle hands and all that…. π
I think Robin has been absolutely sublime for us (when not injured).
Whatever he should ask for he deserves. My fear is that his demands are not for more money but improvements in team personnel. You know that Le Boss considers this within his perview only. Both men are stubborn. Robin has options,do we?
@zicoinexile
Wie sagt mann auf Deutsch…
“Wann die Katze nicht zu hause es, tanzen die Mausen auf dem tisch und trinken”
When the cat is away the mice will dance on the tables and drink.
I guess mice drink in Germany.
543?! Damn!
Too late to catch up on the drinks
I will try and read through them tomorrow at the other bar
I read the Feelgood Diaries though – Brilliant π
LCG @ 545-
French, Spanish, now German… my, you are an erudite individual. Or are you just quick with the Google Translate? π
*’Holic’s internet spies are watching, shhhh!*
BMBD!
‘holic, Other than high protein drinks was there any discussion at Shenley of the food being fed to our players, by Arsenal and/or instructions as to what the players eat on their own? I assume Ben & Jerry’s New York Double Fudge Chunk was not on the list, but just wondering …
@LG
No Frog tongue mate Portuguese,(Dad From Brasil) Spanish (I learned here in Cali) and German ( I took it in school traveled there and then married a Kraut.)
What was I thinking?????
@BT8BBGFG Dude, Cherry Garcia Pul-eeeeez.
What part of SF did you live in Dolores and Mission, Hunters Point?
Ahhh yes The Tenderloin!
leftcoast aka Babelfish, Cherry Garcia is good, or bad I mean, in so far as keeping our players fit and free of extra fat. What with the young daughter we lived in Noe Valley rather than a “cooler” neighborhood.
550 is like winning the lottery but the all-important 555 is up for grabs …
8 ball – there’s a new bar open next door π ——–>
Or is the 555 lure too strong? (possible assist)
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
New post is up.