The Red Army In Minsk, And Goodbye Alf
Nov 14th, 2011 by 'holic
Even for someone as outdated, as old school, as technologically challenged as I am, I have to say having spent years doubting the wisdom or usefulness of social media sites, I am now a complete and utter convert to Twitter. MySpace sort of galloped past me, and Facebook too if I am honest, mainly because of the time involved in keeping up with what was going on there. Twitter, and that 140 character restriction, is a wonderful creation for an old boy who can just dip in and pick and choose very quickly what I do and don’t want to see.
If someone had said to me even ten years ago that I would be watching, and thoroughly enjoying a sixteen minute video posted by the Arsenal Russian Speaking Supporters Club (click on the link in the sidebar and check my timeline), I would have thought they were completely out of their tree. It serves as a perfect reminder that the world is a smaller place. Some people with an agenda tend to use foreign Arsenal supporters as an illustration of where they think things are going wrong in the modern game. They are wrong.
In my lifetime football tourism has evolved massively from the seventies when we would see coachloads of Scandinavians turn up for most home matches, and even some away from home. (Thanks if you were among the dozen or so Swedes who followed me into the North Bank at Upton Park one year and decided to sing your hearts out for the lads. I really needed you that day, didn’t I!) If you want to get a clue of what the club means to supporters across the globe these days just look in the Supporters Club pages on arsenal.com and prepare to be surprised.
Nowadays before matches you will be able to find proper Arsenal supporters from across the globe in the taverns around the ground. They drink, or come and talk to others who drink if that is not their bag, and the players and history of this great club provide a common language, a common topic for debate. Understanding and respect is forged. There was a time in my past when I could never have foreseen the sheer diversity of people with whom I now share my matchday experience.
I’m a lucky bugger, I reckon.
Alf Fields
If ‘holicdad were still here he would not have let news of the passing of Alf Fields go without mention. As a nipper we would sometimes go to watch Arsenal reserves on a Saturday when the first team were away, and invariably this silver haired man would be met in the East Stand Lower corridor before the game. He and ‘holicdad would exchange greetings. More than once I was told that was Alf Fields. “Good footballer, but shot knees. Stuck with the club, and they stuck by him. Always a job for Alf.”
I looked on him in awe in those primary school days. It didn’t matter if he only played nineteen first team games for the club. He was an Arsenal man, and that meant he was put on a pedestal. Now sadly the man reputed to be our oldest living player has gone to play at Highbury in the sky. My thoughts go out to his family this evening.
I hope the old man and Alf have exchanged greetings again today.
409 Responses to “The Red Army In Minsk, And Goodbye Alf”
Do Fifers count as foreign? 😀
Do Minnesotans count as foreign? 😀
No, but howsabout Ex-patriot Nor-Cal-ers
We didn’t have too many sweaties following us back in the day, zico.
The Swedes were easier to understand, too. 😉
totally agree with you re: foreign supporters – in my experience they seem to share the same heartfelt passion as lifelong Islingtonians, often without the increasingly common and irritatingly fickle “trophies or shut the hell up” outlook taken by some locals.
Don’t take it out on the locals Paulo. It’s a hard road to travel. In the mid seventies I travelled with a fella who would get upset with people on trains to away games because they didn’t go every week, just now and again.
He would be the first to admit now that even then going everywhere was expensive in relative terms, and awkward for those (like me) who lived outside London.
If it wasn’t for me being able to kip on my Nan’s, or my mate’s, sofa before and after long trips I couldn’t have done it. (Cheers Vic!)
‘holic, We are the lucky buggers to have you. 🙂
Yes, remember the regular coachload of Norwegian Gooners – not called Gooners in those days of course.
Here’s to Alf – The Highbury Fields.
Alright Trev, yes Norwegians as well, and Danes in those days. It was more surprising to run into the one fella from Wolverhampton, one from Manchester, and one from Glasgow, as I recall.
As for Asia, every now and again a small group from Japan, and that was it. How times have changed.
So, after John Legend last night, I am still loving the pianoman…
One of these old days, I will tag along with the Dallas Arsenal Supporters and “occupy” the Ems.
I just love the “occupy” movement. Too bad no one wants to “occupy” Compton or Islamabad or Totteringham.
Play-in-Peace, Mr. Fields. Salud.
BMBD!
‘Holic,
The other day, I was telling Snir that I couldn’t believe you were just now hearing about John Legend.
The next thing you’ll be telling us is that you don’t know about Lynard Skynard 😛
BMBD!
Harsha, Catalan –
thanks for yesterday’s mentions.
Usual ‘dry’ gems from yourself CG 😉
Tabs, Feelgood – hehs from last drinks 😉
Tabs, I didn’t know the “Nantucket” thing either – just thought I’d hang one out there and see where it went.
Well, it went to bed, which is probably what I should have done.
Great fun yesterday though 🙂
Lonestar, trust me, I know about Lynyrd Skynyrd 😉
As we are reminded by the post that time is passing, isn’t it curious to think that 10 years ago we had Johnny Cash, Steve Jobs, Bob Hope and Jimmy Saville.
Now we have no cash, no jobs, no hope, and not even anyone to fix it, 🙂
I’ll get your coat, Trev 😉
Trev –
I almost wet myself on that one. Well done, sir. You can have my coat for that…
‘Holic, I think my “good ol’ boy” membership card is getting revoked for misspelling The Skynyrd. That’s what I get for trying to get the drop on a worldly man such as yourself…
BMBD!
Thanks for all the coats, and G’night 😉
‘Holic, do Nigerian Gooners count as foreign? 😀
As an auslander who supports the Arsenal one of my earliest attraction to the club were gooners themselves. Liverpool was THE team at the time much the way ManU(re) is today. But the gooners had a never-say-die attitude borne more out of the struggle itself than actually winning. It was then and still is now more important to support the Arsenal than it is to win. Don’t get me wrong winning is nice but in the end I think it’s really about dedication to the cause and not the silverware that matters. if it isn’t than perhaps your heart is not in the right location and you have to move it from time to time to follow the trophies.
All I can say is that although I completely understand the view that born and bred gooners from London are different than us foreigners, we do our best and in the modern time, we can pretty passionate too.
Granted, in earlier years, it woulda been extremely hard for a foreign gooner to follow The Arsenal, but nowadays, we watch the same shows, read the same papers and everything.
We get the same Arsenal experience as others apart from one thing – Matchday.
And I know that this bar and places like it has made it a lot more fun to make the pilgrimage to the Ems. I no longer go to London and watch The Arsenal. I go to London and live The Arsenal. With everything included. I feel like I belong.
There is nothing I would like more than to be a regular, but for now, that feeling of belonging is more than enough for the small time I do get to spend in London a year.
And thank you for that. It means a lot.
Green Eyes: Shaft, they say you should never a woman waiting.
Shaft: “They” ain’t Shaft, baby. Whenever Shaft comes it’s the right time.
*Green Eyes throws her slender arms around Shaft’s neck and purrs*
Green Eyes: And that’s what I like about you…now how can I repay you for saving me from that sweaty cabron?
Shaft: Well baby, you’re smaller than my usual type but I got something in mind. Let’s find someplace quiet…
*Two hours later*
Green Eyes: No wonder they call this place Heat-row airport…
Shaft: You did good baby.
Green Eyes: Yeah, but next time you wax your own moustache Shaft.
Smallballs, Here’s a pair of Jimmy Choos for you, although I’d really rather see Green Eyes modelling them.
http://www.idclshoes.com/images/jimmy_choo_012.jpg
An actual article about Arsenal. What will they think of next? Could the interlull be over soon?
http://www.independent.co.uk/sport/football/premier-league/arsene-wenger-wants-more-from-improving-arsenal-6262194.html#
Wonderful post Holic.
Football has always been a global language and now, especially with the dawn of the internet, it has become really easy to speak this language with English supporters from outside of England in ways that weren’t possible before. In 1971, my father once took a ship to go to England to see Arsenal play Benfica in a friendly at Highbury. Took him like two months to get there and most of the local fans were confused (to say the least) as to why he was there supporting Arsenal even though he was from Trinidad. They liked his afro though 🙂
I don’t buy the idea of overseas fans who visit our stadium as being just football tourists. I believe overseas supporters of this club also have good knowledge of the club and its inner workings, history, customs, chants, so that when we do visit the Home of Football we’re slip right in, just like new signings ready to do a job.
Now let’s raise our glasses for the dearly departed Alf.
One of my favorite blogs. Thanks for a good morning read:)
These are pages from my sketchbook with some BTA character design work. Just scanned them on the sly in the office, shhh!
Forgot the comic pages at home though 🙁
Let me know what you think…
http://s1002.photobucket.com/albums/af143/jetlifari/Behind%20the%20Arsenal/
I’ve just finished reading the first 100 pages of Fynn’s book (Making of a modern superclub) and I have to say I don’t really like it. Not at all.
It feels like a long Mirror article or a Steven Howard column in the sun.
Same old shallow and unresearched criticism.
The best part was when he was having a go at the club’s academy for not promoting enough youngsters (!!!) (who need to be Englishmen of course) in one chapter and then having a go at AW for his youth policy despite stating he had no choice.
I get the impression the name of the book is just so it would sell better because I feel like they’re doing everything they can to undermine AW.
This book is really starting to annoy me.
It’s one of those things which cannot be explained as to why we, sitting miles away feel such a close connection with the club. Nice article ‘holic
One thing though, the day I attend an Arsenal match I definitely will not be a ‘tourist’, as Snir said
Snir, I think the feel of the book hops around a bit because two guys wrote different sections of the book. The first time I read it I felt it was fairly objective and used it as a peekhole into the boardroom and what Arsene is really like when he’s not doing post-match interviews. I remember being surprised at the amount of intrigue involved in the building of the stadium. I don’t know what the revised version reads like though…
The point they brought up about producing local youngsters primarily for sale is a loaded one. After building the stadium, player sales from the academy became a source of viable income. The economics make sense, English footballers are more expensive so if sold they make more money for the club but you lose your English image. But if you keep them and they’re not good enough to compete against the best teams in the world, then Arsenal fall out of the upper echelon while keeping its English image intact. Not every graduate will be as good as Wilshere, Gibbs, Frimpong and Lansbury and that’s the harsh reality…
For the record, I love seeing graduates make it with us. I believe that if they do make it and they are local lads they will always play their heart out for the club and there is less attraction to go to a club in a diffferent country. I also realize however, that making it with us depends entirely on their level of skill/maturity not nationality….
Those look great Cannons! I like what you did with Ivan and IPA 🙂
Blimey, Cannons. Thanks on two counts. You have an artistic gift there mate. And I was at the game in 1971 taking the opportunity to see Eusebio in the flesh. If memory serves we won 6-2, and it was the introduction to our attempt that season to play ‘total football’.
We would take another 27 years to get that right!
The old man should not have felt out of place though. We did have a decent black following, even then, and you wouldn’t antagonise them, if you get my drift.
Even better was the beatings the National Front used to take when they came recruiting in the Gunners pub in the seventies. Much prefer the pub experience these days though. Too old now for all that nonsense.
thats another fine read you got me into holic
Nice post Holic . Agree that the present Arsenal match-day experience is enriched by Arsenal fans from just about everywhere in the world .
Trev , thanks for the kind words , and agreed , it was great fun . @15 🙂
Well said Lcg @19 and Snir @21
Shaft @22 🙂
Canons @27 , those drawings look terrific mate . Awesome .
Thanks holic! I asked him about his trip to Arsenal and he said everyone was fine towards him and his friend but he commented on the things being said toward Benfica and Eusebio in particular. He didn’t say what was said but it sounded naughty 😀
As for the artwork, I wonder if I get it done it’ll help me get a job at the official magazine? Become a company man and all that 😉
Kendo @23 , well thank you so much for the gift . I shall wear them with pride .
I do so like a masked man who shows a bit of generosity 😉
Cheers for the kind words tabs and harsha!
I wasn’t sure what you would think of the drawings…I feel like I can do better
You’re clearly your own harshest critic Canons . Think they look absolutely wonderful . The picture of PHW as Biggles saying ” what’s up c*cksuckers ?” had me spilling my porridge 🙂
Ah , sorry , @39 was me .
Goonerholic @ 4 – sweaty? But I ain’t no Mexican and I ain’t got no ‘tache (not even in Movember) I ain’t no Fifer neither, but that’s another story. 🙂
Cannons – nice art. Dr Feelgood is not quite as impressed with your friend, Shaft, though, and is known to carry a grudge. Just sayin’….
Trev @ 13 – thanks from both of us.
Kendo @ 23 – don’t encourage him/her – go and wrestle with your conscience.
Just a coffee this morning please, I have a meeting about a meeting. 🙁
After Ivory Coast vs Senegal, now Cameroon (players on strike) vs Algeria has been cancelled. Didn’t even know they were supposed to play (3 friendlies during this interlull, wtf?!?).
Now the Norwegians support Man U in numbers. Although i know a fair few great Norwegian Gooners :).
RIP Alf. Round on me in your honour. Well, sponsored by Lars, really.
Nice piece ‘holic
There was a time when South London Gooners (as Trev says we weren’t called that then) were looked on as ‘foreigners’ of sorts, and regarded with suspicion by some of the locals – different days
ureds
Morning all
Nice post ‘Holic.
Right. Coffee steaming in front of me, first patient late. Going to sit down and catch up on all of last night’s drinks…..
Heh, more splendidness from arseblog this morning.
Wondered what it was all about as I’d not heard the gossip.
The Law, you are a Gooner, as long as you are not mailing me for my bank details 😉
haha ‘holic!
I saw Alf Fields at Highbury on that last day when the former players paraded around the pitch. He must have been in his late eighties by then, but the way he walked he looked like a man half his age and was obviously enjoying the day. I remember looking at him and then seeing Willie Young – what a contrast. He looked like an old man, but wasn’t, and Alf was like a kid in a sweetshop. My condolences to the Fields family.
Ollie @ #46, thanks for the tip-off. Yes, great stuff from Blogs this morning. It seems that ‘the duologue method’ is catching on fast in the Arsenal blogging world. I wonder if this bar might have become something of a trend setter thanks to the enormous contributions in that direction from people like tabs and zico?
CoR @ #27, thanks for sharing and good stuff. Liked the idea of IG as Dr.E and IPA as Mini-Me. Is it possible to weave some of those those into the BTA tab in some way? Sounds like a job for ATG, perhaps?
AL @ #44, I remember that time too. Now, anyone vaguely from the Sarf of England is a local and we’re all the better for it, IMO. I’m even beginning to wonder if supporters hailing form Norf of the River form the majority of the bums on seats at The HoF these days? Or even native Londoners full stop? Probably not.
Snir @ #21, you are a prime example of the genuine passion and commitment that our overseas supporters demonstrate today. The next time you make a match at The HoF, please build in enough time to swing by ‘you know where’ and share a refreshing beverage with those of us that are fortunate enough to get to see The Mighty Arsenal play on a (fairly) regular basis.
lcg, I remain disappointed at your refusal to apologise for yesterday’s unprovoked outburst. Maybe one day you will make it to the HoF which might afford us an opportunity to discuss your behaviour like men. In the meantime, let’s just make sure that you and I drink at opposite ends of this fine establishment.
Nice post Beardy @ #49 and welcome! An early morning livener perhaps?
True Storey @ 51 – I’m afraid I abstain until the sun is past the yardarm! Maybe later…….
Harsha @ #29, meant to include your name in my previous comment directed at Snir. Now corrected.
Beardy, you like your coffee in the afternoon? 😉
Cannons
Great great art work….. more please, as you can.
TS 50. Indeed. When I started reading, I was wondering if this was inspired by tabs.
Splendid work, Cannons!
Not read them all yet but –
Snir @21 – lovely stuff. No-one could ever even suggest you are not truly “Arsenal”. 😉
Shaft @22 – 🙂
If Blogs can get away with it…….
Just in case you were wondering whether I paid any attention at THAT meeting this morning, here are my notes……
Business Weekly – The Real Dr Feelgood
These are troubled times for the Feelgood Foundation and yet whilst his multi-faceted empire lurches from one crisis to another, the weary Transport Executive still found time to talk to Business Weekly. As always, no punches were pulled……
Business Weekly (BW) : “So Doctor, a bit of a difficult week for D L Ltd, there’s talk of revolution in the boardroom?”
Feelgood : “I don’t normally talk to the media. How much are you paying me again?”
BW: “Well, err, your Communications Executive suggested…..
Feelgood interrupts without realising it and starts droning….”You spin me round,round, baby right round, like a record baby”
BW: “……. suggested that we make a donation to your favourite charity – Roxette’s Relief?”
Feelgood grins and says “That will do nicely.”
BW: “That’s not a charity that we are familiar with – are you closely involved?”
Feelgood: “A large part of my personal income finds its way to that particular charity, yes.”
BW: “So, as we were saying, a bit of discontent in the Boardroom?”
Feelgood (unconvincingly) “Nah, just a few local difficulties”
BW: “And yet the financial papers were all full of negative headlines like “Recruitment drive – fatal crash”?
Feelgood : “Well, actually no, I have in fact recently appointed a new Communications Specialist to address these misrepresentations…..”
Again interrupts his own train of thought and starts singing “……kisses for me, save all your kisses for me…..”
BW (interviewer winces and tries to get Feelgood back on track) : “And the breakdown in contract negotiations with Gonzales?”
Feelgood : “Well you know the problem with Mexicans. They turn up for about the last 9 minutes of a Boardroom meeting, do a few fancy flicks, the occasional cartwheel, and then disappear off the radar for 6 months. Waste of a salary. Plus he was a real sweaty f****r.”
BW: “And the Senior Physician? Have you still to make that particular appointment?”
Feelgood : “Well, it’s not like you just go to the Supermarket and pick up “One Senior Physician” – it is a lot more complicated than that. Our negotiating team have been working on this for months….”
BW: “And yet you’ve still not made the appointment?”
Feelgood (agitated): “Listen pal, you’re starting to get on my tits. Are you familiar with the Eboue Virus?”
BW (interviewer looks totally bewildered) : “Err, so what of the serialisation in the tabloids – “Green eyed barmaid claims: “ I was stalked by sex-pest Feelgood for months! ?”
Feelgood : “My legal team have started legal proceedings against both the newspaper and the delusional girl. My Brief is drawing up the writ in the pub as we speak. ”
BW : “OK, now turning to your current Board, what is behind the call for an EGM for DL Ltd? The Financial Times was suggesting that this meeting could turn out to be the bloodiest yet”.
Feelgood : “Well, it depends on whether they can handle their drink. It’s not easy balancing on a table when you have a gallon of Guinness inside you, you know. Other than that, I don’t see any problems. My public love me. The Happy Train is full. Nothing to fix. Isn’t that right, Dr Spin?”
*Feelgood reaches over and turns off the BW interviewer tape recorder*
Feelgood : “Now then, sonny, can I interest you in some drugs?”
Guinness 🙂
For me?
Why thanks 😉
…..Hard work should always be well rewarded
Catalan,
Yes I must get round trying that, one day….
Thanks for the supportive words you Arsenal fanatics you! Drinks all around from the shallowest wallet of them all 🙂
Btw, someone did a comparison between Arteta and LJW and came up with some interesting stats…
http://desigunner.wordpress.com/2011/11/15/arteta-v-wilshere-are-the-stats-really-lying-other-comparisons/
TS , Ollie – Fairly sure Blogs doesn’t need my help when it comes to comic writing !
Dr Z – Not sure what to applaud first , the prodigious output , or the quality !! Top top stuff 🙂
tabs – cheers.
PS – Biography’s easy. Just write what you know. 😉
Dr.z
What tabs said @ #66 😀
… and another Guinness, from me, on Lars tab.
Another? I’ll be on the table soon at this rate….
Incidentally, everyone, I will desist when there is real Arsenal stuff to talk about, I promise 😉
Oh no zico, don’t do that…. 😉
Can’t vouch for Feelgood though….heh.
… the world would be greyer place.
More grey than Rick(with a silent ‘P’)’s underpants
… or even John Major, in a grey suit, with matching shirt and tie, standing under a rain cloud and listening to The Old Grey Whistle Test
@TS#50 Two things men don’t do. One of them is cry and the other is bully. Drink where you please I am done with it.
… and yet you do them both so well lcg. Let’s take this tedious diatribe away from the bar as I have friends in here that I care about.
Careful guys. There are plenty of dickheads out there deserving our attention without resorting to cannibalism.
That type of stuff is positively Chavish behaviour.
Let me buy you both a drink – Lars tab (of course).
Arsenal Stiffs 1-0 up against Norwich Stiffs already! ‘Ozzy-Kup’ opened our account. Real football news at last…. roll on Saturday.
I have met a lot of great Arsenal fans from around the world mainly from Arseblog.
What I don’t like however, is the overseas ‘internet’ supporter who contributes nothing except to call for the manager to be sacked should we so much as draw.
The same ones commenting on the lack of atmosphere in the ground when they will never go anywhere near it.
@ Jackster
Which is about 90% of the internet warriors on Le Groan, the last time I looked.
Spokesmen of the Arsenal support indeed…..
2-0! Ozzy-Kup gets a second! With thanks to YG for their ‘tweet-atary’.
Afternoon Jackster and fair comments, I thought.
Steve T (the original) has often made similar comments regarding the atmos at the HoF and those who choose to critcize it.
80 & 81 – ain’t that so. Must confess i’m enjoying hugely watching ’em struggle hard not to change their dreary tunes in the light of our current upturn in fortune – to that and it continuing.
Quad still on!
UREDS!
Jackster; don’t some of these types also come from ‘not overseas’ ? 😉
It’s just the same going ‘underseas’ Ollie
Underseas and overseas. All fake.
There’s only one sea(internet)warrior! 😉
Heh
Safe in his armchair
Ts, why thank YG when you can check the official stuff linked via .con ?
😉
https://twitter.com/#!/arsenallive
Cheers Ollie and good point! 😳
The Scene : The Intercontinental Hotel Swimming Pool , Torremolinos .
Carlos Kickemhard is relaxing by the pool , reading “The Day of The Jackal” . A stunning green eyed beauty hands him his Long Island Iced Tea , and lies down on the sun lounger next to him .
Carlos : Ah , thank you Green Eyes . This is just what I need . All that sitting around doing nothing is very tiring . Good of Dr Feelgood to give me the week off .
Green Eyes : Well , its been a tough few weeks for the pair of us .
Carlos : Well I did tell you that that Shaft fella was a ” love ’em and leave ’em” merchant . You can’t say I didn’t warn you . Still , look on the bright side , your eyes are looking a lot clearer since he scarpered and left you in the lurch .
Green Eyes : Well , I suppose so , but boy , did that cat have some moves .
Carlos : That’s quite enough of that Green Eyes .
Green Eyes : Quite right Carlos , sorry , time to move on . Lovely here isn’t it . You look nice in your new Speedoes .
Carlos : Thanks Green Eyes . Present from Smallballs . In the colours of the Peruvian flag . Very thoughtful of him , although I don’t know why he got me the matching Jimmy Choos .
The setting is idyllic , the warm sun beats down , there is the odd splash from the pool , and The Birdie Song blares out from the Hotel Speakers . Green Eyes shuts her eyes and allows herself to wander off into a light doze . Carlos remains watchful . His eyes are drawn to two Englishman drinking in the shade of the poolside Bar . They are wearing socks , sandals , hankies on their head , and matching Pierre Cardin T-shirts .
Geoff Gervais : Just do what I do Gareth . I’m a winner , no time for Losers . I’ve done a bit of Boxing , I can handle myself , and I’ve got a really big garden . I’ve made it .
Gareth Le C : You’re my hero , Geoff .
The stillness of the air is punctuated by the sound of a large crack , as Carlos gently releases the safety catch of his gun , cunningly concealed within his Speedoes .
Green Eyes : *dreamily*You playing with your weapon again Carlos ?
Carlos : I just need some real action Green Eyes .
Green Eyes : Later , Carlos , later ….
😀
Hope you enjoy your celery, Carlos.
Heh TaBS,….. 🙂
And to continue the light hearted stuff…..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yv8brpKO1i0
Genius both…..
red mist shame in the Reserves game?
Ouenger oot!
Cheers Dr F , I’ll pass on the message 😉
Thanks Dr C , and nice link 🙂
Arsenal U18s lost (3-2) at home to Norwich
Arsenal Reserves won (4-2) at home to Norwich.
Wanna bet on a high-scoring draw at Carrow Rd next weekend?
Heh! Ollie @ #94.
4-2 to The Arse, 2 pens for Norwich and an Arsenal man sent off. All-in-all quite a lively game!
Here’s hoping for soemthing similar on Saturday – The result NOT the sending off 🙂
A Guinness (or whatever) for tabs for yet another class duologue.
Same for Dr.C (assuming you’re not hands-on with a patient at the moment) for the excellent link featuring our very own deity.
Cheers both!
Assist for whoever wants it….
scores!
Goooooal! Well in Dr.F.
Dear Feelgood
What are doing on the football pitch? Don’t you have a company to direct?
Yours, Edwin
Cheers TS , Dr Z told me to write what I know 😉
Well in Dr F !
Heh! So the doctor made you do it tabs? 😉
On that basis, If I were one of the LG Brothers, I’d be keeping more than one eye over my shoulder right now….
* 2000hrs 14Nov2011, Lady Baby Gooner’s bedroom. The soft bleating of a lost Llama can be heard in the distance…*
Lonestar: Ok babe, that was the last story. Time for night-night.
LBG: No, Daddy. Sing.
Lonestar: But Daddy has a long night ahead, and we’ve read three stories. It’s time for night-night.
LBG: Noooo, Daddy. Sing.
Lonestar: Ok. One song. What would you like me to sing?
LBG: “–”
Lonestar: How about this? “Father Abraham, had many sons. Many sons had Father Abrah-”
LBG: No, Daddy. I don’t like that song.
Lonestar: Ok. What about this? “The noble Duke of York. He had 10–”
LBG: No, Daddy. I don’t like that song.
Lonestar: Hmmm. How about this? “He came to us when Henry went.”
LBG: “Eddie. Eddie.”
Lonestar: “And scored more goals than Darren Bent.”
LBG: “ Eddie. EDDIE.”
Lonestar: “They broke his leg, but he’ll be back. And Gareth Bale will still be slack. *I clean this part up for her ears, you know.* Eduardo da Silva…”
LBG: “Arsenal’s Number 9.”
Lonestar: *softly* “na na na na; na na na na…”
LBG: “zzzzzz.”
Lonestar: Sweet dreams, baby girl.
Actual events – Although, it might have been a dog instead of a llama in the distance. Have a good day my friends. It’s always good to be a Gooner.
BMBD!
Anything to distract that pair from actually writing anything ! 😉
Professor,
Delegation is an art form – you of all people should know that.
Have you set up the Executive Suite for our celebratory party yet? Dr Spin and I are going to have an Abba night, to celebrate the taming of the tabloid twonks. Actually, good name for my book. 🙂
Lovely stuff, Lonestar 🙂
Heh Lonestar , nice one 🙂
Dr F.
What’s the good name ?
‘Delegation is an Art Form’ or
‘The Taming of the Tabloid Twonks’ ?
There both good Ollie – my memoirs are obviously going to rival Churchill, so I may use both – parts 1 and 2.
Oh dear, you’ve just given me an idea – how long till the interlull finishes? 😉
They’re both good Olie – damn you to hell “submit” button! 🙁
Superb Lonestar!
Real family duologue with added llamas. What’s not to like?
Please have a drink on Lars’ tab or a rummage in the CMC, as you prefer 🙂
Olie? Who’s Olie?
Damn you to hell twice, “submit” button! 🙁 🙁
And there was me not daring to correct your ‘there’, heh 😛
Dr Feelgood has gone for a long lie down.
Please respect the “Do not Disturb” notice on the door of the Executive Carriage.
PS Trespassers will be tarred and feathered. 😀
I like it.
http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/Tar_and_feathers_1.gif
Thanks for the comments guys. LBG is almost 3 y/o, so I’d say my “Arsenalization” project is proceeding nicely. We go through this at least 3x a week when I try to get home from the office in time to put her to bed. They are special times indeed.
CoR – excellent sketches, boss!
Drinks on the bar.
BMBD!
Is Lars called ‘the bar’ now? 😀
Afternoon all.
I’m about 400 drinks behind with little time to catch up, but I’m just popping in to say hello.
I was lucky enough to be born and raised within a stone throw of our beloved club, I attended games from an early age, by the time I was seven I was going to all weekend home games and a few years later to the odd midweek game too. I seem to remember that football then was a very terortorial thing, there was an “our neighbourhood, our club” mentality.
Ofcourse back then footy on the tv consisted of MOTD and the Big Match and that was about it. Away games were listened to on the wireless. Monday morning at school a few of us who were lucky enough to hae been at a game would anaylise all things Arsenal, but for those who hadn’t been, there opinion was about as worthless as a JT promiss of fidelity. “Armchair supporter” was the derogitory term of the day.
Nowadays ofcourse the PL is a global phenomenum attracting viewers from every corner of the globe. People from the far reaches of the planet, who may never have the chance to make it to the mecca in North London, know just as much about our club as you or I and with the use of internet get to see the Arsenal play live or can relive the action by downloading clips from you tube.
The club sees these overseas fans as potential growth markets, just look at the success of the Asian tour, it was almost like Beatlemania, the reception the team got. In the future we will probably see more of these kind of tours as the club endeavors to make itself a world brand.
Times (and opinions) certainly have changed. Roll on the Arsenalisation of the planet!!!
You still won’t get me on twitter though. 😉
A round on me guv.
Afternoon H2H
Good to see you back and posting with quality. A BM from me is waiting for you on ‘the Lars’.
Will you be opening-up your own Lars soon?
Cheers! 😉
Ollie @ #119 – It is now!
My “Lars” is open already TS, the other half is behind the bar at the mo. I’ll be popping down in a bit to get ready for the Jerry v Oranje game. There’s a drinking to be done.
Heh, Ollie @119.
Keep that project running Lonestar – hope it has more success than the Lonestar Farms venture 😉
H2H – welcome back. Due to a private function in the Executive Carriage we are out of vodka. Can I interest you in some Coke?
Oh I see TS has been using his influence again H2H – that’s bound to crop up in conversation at that private function 😉
Offer of Coke stands. 🙂
Trev @ 15, wow 😀 I’d give you my coat, but it cost me a fair wedge and I’m quite fond of it 🙂
Shaft @ 22, 🙂
Zico @ 60, Yes Zico, keep it coming!!! 😀
TS @ 83, Steve T knows what he’s talking about, but I’ll get more onto that later.
Dr F, @ 100 get well in! His ‘touch’ confounds all who see or experience it 😉
Lonestar @ 105, that touched my heart man, hopefully and god willing one day I’ll be in your shoes in that situation.
Firstly, great post ‘Holic, RIP Alf Fields, so many legend I hear about from this blog, they make me appreciate the Arsenal even more.
Also, as I’m Nigerian myself, I can appreciate your under bar humour pertaining to your comment @ 47 😉
2ndly, I wasn’t fortunate enough to be born into an Arsenal supporting family, or in North London, or go to Highbury before we moved to the Emirates but I’ve supported Arsenal since I’ve been old enough to mke the choice for myself (prior to a stint or two with Rangers and shamefully, the prawn sandwich brigade :'(, my older brother’s conversion atempts were unsuccesful praise be to God) but from the moment I made the choice, I’ve been Arsenal through and through.
My 1st matches were this year in the Carling Cup (3rd and 4th Round) along with Bolton and WBA in the League but (and I think as Steve T can relate), the Carling Cup is probably the better of the two competitions to watch the Arsenal play, none of those weekend fans who leave in droves at 75 mins onwards to get to the front of Arsenal Station and the like, mainly fans who are there to enjoy seeing the Arsenal play with their kids and families and friends, a very special occasion indeed.
Also have to thank the club for the opportunity with their ticket policy for Carling Cup games, even against Category A teams (Man $ity) because in this economic climate as the folks at Tesco say, every little helps 🙂
H2H
Oh yes, that might actually be a decent game of footie and with Robin safely at home in his BWS you can watch without worrying if he’s going to break. Is Big Sacks playing?
Thanks, Wind. I’m sure you’ll get there.
Kids are tough, but, man, when they start to take on your personality and mirror your interests…well, there’s just nothing like it.
BMBD!
Heh H2H , very sound post , your memories accord with mine , welcome back , I’ve missed your late afternoon voddy shots .
Ollie @119 heh 🙂
Afternoon Wind .
Holic , just watched your Russian film . Quite brought a tear to my eye . ” Ooh to , Ooh to be , Ooh to be a Gooner ” sung in Russian accents . Lovely .
Lucky the cameras weren’t there for the last ‘Holics gathering though , eh 😉
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tZmDWltBziM
@zico #125
*scratches head, is genuinely lost*
Private function = Abba party with Dr.S?
If so, I have some thoughts about that….
I am a dancing queen …
Invite ?
Heh Wolfie! How could they refuse one so…. er…. elegant and spangly? 😉
Don’t tell Feelgood but Dr.S has already asked Edwin to join them. What?….Oh!
AS long as it’s not the cpla variety then count me in Z, ;).
Thanks for the welcome back gents, much apreaciated. TS, not sure if the BFG will be playing tonight, but if I had to guess I’d say he would be.
Gotta dash fella’s theres a drinking to be done.
A last voddie shot on me.
TS @ 130 – all will be revealed.
Unless your thoughts make it to the page before mine. 😉
Damn you Wolfie – that (obvious) line was my intro…..
Unlikely Dr.z, have to meet a couple of real deadlines now… 🙁
well Dr Z , knowing me and knowing you , I thought that might be the case . That’s the Name of the Game . Gotta be first . The Winner Takes it All
Wolfgang! You bastard! 😀
This is your Waterloo Feelgood 😉
🙂
Haven’t drunk much at the bar lately and have given up trying to catch up with all the marvellousness that’s been going on. But picking up on something that’s been and gone, and nicking a couple of fine lines from tabs above – thought i’d have a go at the limerick lark. Apologies for my lateness and that, and apropos of a pair of thingamees
The Grave
I’ve got a very big garden
And a wardrobe full of Pierre Cardin
i hate everyfink french
‘specially ‘im on the Arsenal bench
oh shit! i’m spouting contradictory, ill-thought thru bollox again, pardon!
Just spent an hour or so catching up on the drinks after a rather busy day at work, top stuff as usual! Nothing like a bunch of laughs to restore the energy levels.
Pints all round!
There once was a man up in Fife
And Roxette was the name of his wife
He didn’t want her to see
His “Feelgood Tapes” DVD
If she had she’d have ended his life!
At this rate, I might not even be on time to watch Belgian vs Belgium tonight.
Nice piece holic. Micheal O’Leary sees more of my money than Arsenal unfortunately. Maybe an Arsenal air fleet would bring in a few quid tapping that market..
Heh Lars, funny you should bring that up……
The Scene – Executive Suite, Executive Carriage, HTMkII
A self satisfied Dr Feelgood sits in his favourite Parker Knoll in the Executive Suite, large glass of Rum and Coke in his hand. The drink has a swizzle stick with a tacky large “FF” type logo on the top, and Feelgood stares at the glass as if he’s just seen it for the first time, and then is stirred (heh) from his reverie by the sound of approaching voices…..
Dr Spin : “It came out of the blue, Edwin. I had never heard of Roxette’s Relief but the media seemed to buy it – they were so keen on digging up every bit of bad news they could think of, that they didn’t have time to probe any further…..”
Edwin (scathingly): “Well, personally, I’m not convinced that today’s “performance” was quite the victory that our esteemed “Ph D” thinks it was. I have had sub-editors across the country phoning me all day trying to get an advance copy of the agenda for the EGM.”
As they approach the door, Feelgood bursts out of the Executive suite, spilling his drink over Prof Storey in the process…….
Feelgood (slurred voice) : “Guys, lesh get thish party shtarted……… You shpin me round round round like a…….”
Dr Spin (looking very interested) : “Wow, Dr F, you’ve had a few. What are those semi naked girls doing back there?”
Feelgood: “They, my shpecial friend, William, are my back up shingerrrrs”
Dr Spin : “William? My names Shnowy, I mean Snowy.”
Feelgood : “Dushn’t mattah, Bill, today we fucked over the pirates of the pressh….we kicked the arsh of the fourth estate….and ergo we must shelebrate like its platform 49…….have you brought your records?”
Dr Spin: “I don’t HAVE any fucking records. I’m your Press Officer!”
Feelgood (tone deaf voice) : “Shooper trooper, stick it up your pooper……ehh, where ish Shmallballsh?”
Edwin: “He said he would only come if you were going to play Queen”
Dr Feelgood: “Figurrrrrs. He’s more bent than Darren. Whooos furra drink?”
Before either of the gentlemen can answer, the phone rings and Edwin, out of habit, goes straight to answer it…..
Edwin (to Feelgood): “It’s Roxette”
Panic stricken, Feelgood looks at the girls in the background and heads straight for the phone….miraculously the slurred voice disappears….
Feelgood: “No dear, just finishing up at that meeting I was telling you about….no, only me, Edwin and Billy, just got some paperwork to finish off. Yes, of course dear.”
Feelgood speaks to both : “I was happy in the haze of a drunken hour, fellas, but heaven knows I’m miserable now. You’ll have to go home, as I will.”
Edwin and Dr Spin leave the room. Outside Dr Spin turns to Edwin and says
“That was a stroke of genius, getting Roxette to call. I thought we were going to have to listen to him all night.”
Edwin: “William, William it was really nothing….”
Dr Spin: “Wonder where those back up singers are headed….?”
Heh zico! Your besht effort today me thinksh.
‘Ave another farkin Guinneshhh fella… I really love you maan… hic!’ 😆
I want to go home, i want to go hooooooooooome, this is a shithole, I want to go home (and can anyone prepare dinner for me?)
Solids are for softies, Ollie.
Cheers TS – ‘we’ love you too (in a macho, not in any way gay, type of voice…) 😀
On Radio 5 live the pros are accusing Cunt Terry of taking a dive when v the mighty RVP at Fulham Bridge the other week …
more evidence that the football gods have surely stopped smiling on that lot and are just maybe begun to love us again – no?
still basking
quad still on
usupereds!
Cannons, Harsha – good work, no probs with your credentials.
Catalan – love the Dennis link. Nutmegs with a back-heel and doesn’t even try !! 😉
Wind – thanks 😉
Feelgood, Tabs, TS, H2H – more, and more, good work 🙂
Hey, spooky. Posts 1, 100 and 150. What do I win?
just maybe beginning to love us again –
begun – oops, pardon
Lonestar @ 128
Thanks man, I can only anticipate how that will be 🙂
Evening Tabs, good to see you.
Great Stuff Dr Z! Keeping it rolling as the alcohol keeps pouring!
Dr F is also… Dr Z!?
Kidding :p I think ‘raises eyebrow’
But I think you shouldn’t win anything, two different aliases :p
Wind –
Dr F, Z etc. is a man with letters after his name, before his name, and indeed, instead of his name.
He is so many different Doctors, Directors, Diarists, I doubt whether even he knows exactly how many people he has become.
He is suffering from acute multiple personality disorder.
That, by the way, is absolutely the only thing that is cute about him. 😉
Who? Us?
Trev, you’re scaring me now. 😉
As many disorders as he may suffer from, if his writing talent will increase, the more the merrier!
Roxette says I have a cute withdrawal symptoms. She says I have these cute withdrawal symptoms a lot.
And yet its my bank account she goes to.
Maybe ‘Zico’ was exiled to the deepest recesses of his mind a long time ago…
Expert medical diagnosis from me, I am a ‘ahem’ doctor as you can see in my name 🙂
Maybe you get these withdrawal symptoms when Roxette’s feeling for some Louboutins, or the like?
A correlation, perhaps?
Wind –
you know what they say about monkeys and typewriters . . . .
Batshit mental.
Every last one of you.
😉
Turning back to the real stuff i.e. football, does this guy go to arrogance classes?
http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/15748287.stm
“Our demands”. Tosser,
Care to step into my clinic ‘Holic?
Lets have a chat, alhtough as I’m the same brand of doctor as everyone else here, I might do more harm than good!
What Goonerholic said at 164
Dr W –
I’m sorry but this simply will not do. You cannot come in here and award yourself a Doctorate just because everyone else has got one.
There are processes to go through, interviews to attend, qualifications and fetishes to prove.
You have to take the Hypocritical Oath and gain several minutes of practical experience.
And then you have to familiarise yourself with all the various drugs at the disposal of the real Doctors in the Quackeryfdjretjfkjnkjaekj . . . .
A badge we wear with pride ‘Holic 😉
This Sandro Rosell is the epitome of cuntery!
Worry about your own two man league instead of the best league in the world mate…
If you can’t make La Liga better, the only ‘sensible’ action to take is to try and make the English Premier League worse, right?
Typical Barca, from the players to the management.
And I remember something about the foreign owners wanting to get rid of relegation as well, all connected or am I just paranoid?
Heh, I don’t doubt it Dr T.
Physician, heal thyself 😉
Wind / Dr W –
your paranoia may be in question. Your schizophrenia is not. 😉
zico @ #165
Probably, almost certainly. My guess is he’s also a graduate of the same management school that Feelgood attended 😉
Only Feelgood isn’t a c*nt. Pig Face/Sandra Russell/whatever her name is, is a mahoosive one, in my opinion. With all due respect, etc., etc….
Is batshit more mental than a box of frogs?
Just asking, so I can decide which badge should be proudly worn.
Fetishes eh? 🙂
On the practical experience side, I’m sure that can be arranged sometime inbetween Feelgood’s Rants and Wolfie & Roxette’s shopping sprees.
On the Interview and Qualifications side, I think I shall go down the path of the recently departed Ex-Governer, which would be a 1 minute interview, after the job has been given to me 😉
I’ll only be moonlighting as a Doctor anyway, so I think that should be taken into account also :p
The only problem I can see is the issue of the drugs, it will take me more time to um, ‘acquaint myself’ with the ‘prescriptions’ than the Arsenal have gone without meaningful silverware, such is the volume of drugs stockpiled by the ‘real’ doctors of the Quackery.
If I have that much time, I might as well get a doctorate from a… how should I put this, slightly (and I say slightly meaningfully) more respected medical establiment 😉
No offence to the Barman and his fellow patrons 🙂
Do you detect some arrogance in Feelgood these days, TS?
It’s possibly akin to the last days of the Roman Empire. Now where’s me fiddle….?
Heh at everyone. That was a lot of drinking to catch up on.
Dr. T, the Hypocritical Oath? Does that mean those media people are doctors? *shudders*
zico, Last I checked, the CL was a venerable and entertaining competition. I wonder how it needs help. Maybe Barca should spend more time making the rest of the Spanish league decent so they can have better competition.
Interesting subject for a post, ‘Holic. It is a global game so no reason not to have global fans. And who is to blame anyone for wanting to follow the best team in the world.
Came across this blogger, who seems to be a Scouser in Montreal, who photographs people he sees in the streets wearing team shirts and asks them why they are a fan. Doesn’t seem to have run into any Gooners yet.
http://footballists.wordpress.com/
Learned ‘Holics,
Since we are making up, I mean, “awarding” titles, henceforth I shall be regarded as Barrister.
*Long live elitism…*
BMBD!
Dr T, well I’m quite offended my good sir!
To even think that my ‘schizoprenia’ would be NOT in question, I would think that would be one of the condition of joining the Quackery! (Although I prefer to think of myself as a corrupt individual 😉 )
Well, I’m beginning to have 2nd thoughts on all this doctor malarky and what not…
Congratulations Barrister Lonestar!
Your 1st case should be getting Dr Feelgood out of the 6 foot deep pile of poo he’s going to be in when Roxette finds the Feelgood Tapes.
I’m thinking, Witness Protection Programme, no make that Victim Protection Programme… 🙂
zico @165 –
good to see Sandra hasn’t lost any of her negotiating skills.
Surprised he didn’t actually say in a broken breathy whisper, tinged with a little New York Italian, “we gonna make you an offer you can’t refuse” !
zicoinexile@165: Careful what you wish for. Fewer EPL games could just mean more Interlulls…
zico, what a Class A twat that Rosell wanker is. All that crap is just about Barca and Real having murdered the rest of La Liga and they are now looking for another market to devour.
Sort your own sorry excuse for a league out first, and then maybe you can start thinking about making “demands”.
Joshua –
those media people are Doctors of Spin. . . . oh, it seems we already have one of those.
Ned, I don’t think I WAS wishing for more interlulls??
If this one carries on much longer, I’ll be getting sacked 😉
Meant to say, good to see regulars Joshua and NBN back in the bar. Since Lars just showed up “it would be rude not to…..”
What are you having fellas???
thought you had been . . . 😉
Right off for bedtime cuddle with daughter, best time of the day.
Laters nutters 😉
Enjoy night-night time, Mr. – I mean – Dr. T (can’t go promoting you without permission) – it is the best, indeed.
Dr. W – Don’t you know there’s never been a witness-protection program that can withstand femine wiles. Feelgood has been on the Road to Perdition eversince he linked up with the Californian and the Mexican.
You heard it here first.
I don’t listen to anything coming out of Spain anymore. When wil the economy overy there quit dicking around and collapse already.
*housequake*
BMBD!
Great crowd in here tonight. Just like to say thanks to you all for lightening up the interlull.
Jebus, look up there, another one just flew over this cuckoo nest.
Jebus, ‘Holic, don’t go taking my “Jebus” 😉
BMBD!
*shameless attempt to get in position to set up a cross*
Interesting Lonestar, I had my doubts but from what I’ve heard about Roxette’s capabilities (killed a man or less over something petty) I should have known all along 🙂
I’m done with Spain, only hope left for them is that Miquel is still on our books, Toral and that other one will probably follow Cesc down the well trodden path :'(
Accursed Barca DNA!
Good to see the asylum over-stocked with R’n’Bs tonight*
Batsh*t doesn’t even begin to describe it.
Llamash*t. Now there’s a totally different kettle of frogs altogether.
The proliferation of doctors is also a somewhat worrying and hilarious trend combined.
As an early adopter, possible instigator, of the M.D. phrase in this bar (the original doctor being Catalan Gunner aka Dr.C) I do, however, feel somehwat responsible for this epidemic.
I’ll put the latest outbreak down to this interminable Interlull and a relatively quiet-ish business week.
I love you all in a very man-ish and non-Wolfie-esque way 😀
*Cockney rhyming slang – Roll & Butter
Down the Wing goes Wind, living embodient this lad is.
Plays it into the middle…
*Jockeying for position*
Lurkers.
BMBD!
Lars moves towards the middle and collects the ball and looks for options…
Receives the Return Pass from Ramsey, the young Welsh Wizard. Switches play to the other wing…
Knock, knock – knock. knock
Who’s there?
Doctor
Which Doctor?
Voo doo – you want?
Ah – a German doctor – well since you ask big Nutsacker’s doing well for The Arsenal, if you’ve got any more like him …
Goetz lost – this gag is becoming painful
You’re a doctor – make it better
Vright – vot comes between fvear und sex? Answer – Fumpf. Now fuk off!
Bursts into the box!
Get in!
*looking for a tall Norwegian to send in a venomous cross*
Here we go.
BMBD!
Stunning Volley!
He dummies
Dammination!!!!!!!!!
Well played, Dr. Well played!
The Barrister salutes you.
‘Guv, a round on my tab, please sir.
BMBD!
Why the fuck is Theo still on the pitch at Wembley? Capello, take him off FFS!
I can take comfort in my assist, but when will I get my century!
Plots designs on 300 sneakily…
Don’t worry Wind, you’ll get there eventually 🙂
W.Allet, genius 😀
Walcott is subbed off, now go have a shower and go home and start preparing for Saturday, please.
Thanks for the Faith in me Lars 🙂
Now time to visit the bar with your Magic Wallet 😀
Dr W.Allet…
Lars! I’m so hurt right now, but also so embrassed lol!!!
Holic, just wanted to try this multiple personality business. Have to say I kind of liked it!
Brilliant work, Dr Allet, but really, I think there are statistically more schizophrenics here than anywhere else on the planet.
I was hoping to get 200. I see you’ve been busy.
Fucking spooky.
I swear I didn’t even see that that 214 was there. Honest to God!
Excellent work Andy.
Or is it… Andy?
You people are writing too fast to keep up! Cannons, I didn’t know you were an artist. 😀
I think so, Mr Goram.
(But I have to be a bit of a wise-ass here: schizophrenia and multiple personality disorder are not the same thing at all – though quite a number of the alternative personalities could of course be diagnosed with schizophrenia!)
Who the fuck is that? I’m seeing double.
Of me ….
Guinness please, barman: in honor of all the geniuses in the bar.
They say that there’s a fine line between genius and insanity. It seems a number of people here are straddling that line. 😀
Or is it that one personality is on one side and the other personality is on the other. Perhaps a doctor can explain it.
AL @ #198
We’re going to make a note of that joke. Good for family consumption too!
Ausgezeichnet!
You have spam, TS…
Heh!
Rushdie’s dispute with Facebook began after he asked to be allowed to use his middle name Salman – the one he is known by across the world.
But Facebook, which has strict real name policies, had insisted on Ahmed – the novelist’s first name.
So Facebook thinks I am really Mr Holic, first name Gooner then?
😀
Tommy V played 90 minutes at lef-back. Looked uninjured.
Also congrats to Tommy R for qualifying for the Euros.
Goodnight.
Evening folks – “super quality” drinking, and a lovely post ‘holic.
Now with all the bloody doctors in this place d’ya think maybe just one or two of you could find some cure for the bloody lurgy that has struck me down in the past 24 hours?
What? Oh…
At left-back too. Although being Belgium he might have had a Leffe.
Badoomtish
Hello snowy. You have ten days to feel better or we will have to try cure by alcohol 😉
…and g’night Ollie. Good work today…
‘holic I need to get better well before that as I shall be travelling to Norwich at the weekend!
But now you mention it, cure by alcohol sounds just the thing frankly. Thank you Doctor ‘Holic 😉
Ta TS @ 223, and I would venture that it’s positively educational.
Re your earlier comments re my mention of how us South London Gooners were once upon a time regarded as ‘foreigners/outsiders’, i have admit i never experienced it myself, but the fellow South Londoner – who played football with my old man – and first took me to Arsenal regularly in the mid/late 70’s, was 10/15 years older than me and told me a few tales of things getting a bit lively North v South (a full-stop ffs).
In fact one of the peeeeaaaaaannnuuuuuuuuuttttssssssss sellers on the Clockend was a South London mate of his from them days, and always used to chuck us a bag or two on his way through.
Of course things are sweeter in so many ways these days – i miss the peanuts though
Usupereds!
Ah, Norwich. Not been there for years, but have loads of good memories of the place. Always a good day out.
ALAL 🙂
I referred to the old North v South rucks on the North Bank in this piece.
http://goonerholic.com/?p=1446
Your mate was right…
Cheers for that ‘holic, a fine read as per.
I said it about another piece you wrote recently and i’ll repeat re the one referred to @ 234. You capture as well as anyone the massive swirl of change those of us who’ve been around even in the last 15/20 years have witnessed (let alone 30 or so), and pinpoint precisely just how much of the truly important stuff remains the same – at the same time.
Well played Guv!
OooH to be ah Goonah, Gunner, Red, Clockend Highbury, Northbank Highbury etc, etc, etc
Get in !!!!!! 200 ?
What ? Oh .
Busy night in here tonight . Well played all .
England 1 Sweden 0 – looks like the drinks are on Lars . 😉
Thought for the Day – Roy Keane looks more and more like action man with every passing day .
ALAL
Excellent post, thanks for sharing.
…And yes, I really miss those peanut salesmen too. You can’t buy (what would inevitably be) a hugely over-priced bag anywhere in the ground. Football and roasted peanuts is a brilliant combo, bring them back I say.
Why do you think they’re nowhere to be seen anymore? Nut ‘allergies’? Too much mess? WTF?
PUT THE NUT BACK INTO FOOTBALL
The new campaign starts right nere, right now 😀
Plenty of “nuts” in this Bar TS
What?….Oh….. heh!
Once again tabs, your lightning wit and reactions have beaten me 🙂
Drinkypoo?
Single malt , kind Sir .
Too many multiple hehs above to point them all out , so a round for all methinks , on Lars of course .
Actually scrub that. I’ll fetch the golden pipes. They’ve been under-used of late 🙂
Now you’re talking TS 🙂
Scrub that, scrub that. We’ll do both! F*ck it!
A toast to all the nuts in the bar (but don’t eat them cos they’re covered in wee) 😉
Now you’ve lost ME . Yes to both most certainly , but what are the nuts doing in Cusop’s bowl ?
Arsene’s put the Nutsacker back – it’s a start
Heh! Nice one tabs 🙂
A reference to bar snacks and the fact that 1 in 3 people go to the loo and don’t wash their hands afterwards. The dirty b’stards.
Apparently, 1 in 1 people who support Sp*rs don’t wash their hands after weeing either.
Hello AL , and Hi to you as well AL , nice bit of poetry from yourself and Lars above . In fact I’d go as far as to say it was the nuts .
Evening TaBS.
Never eat fruit that has grown below waist height for much the same reason 😉
1 in 1 people who support Sp*rs have several different kinds of wee on them at any one time TS – they wear it like aftershave .
ALAL
Excellent point. You see, the campaign’s off to a flying start!
Any of the regulars here who attend a match at The HoF will also increase the nut count…obviously.
250 ?
Must be a prize, this time?
Evening Holic – A good point , very well made 🙂
tabs
Good point tabs. I alway thought The Sh*thole smelt like an old people’s home 😉
Winning streak over, I have got to crash.
If I’m lucky the interlull will be over when I wake.
Laters, Holics.
So ‘Holic, should one sniff one’s fruit before buying it? Just sayin’ 🙂
Lars will be bringing the CASHews obviously . For reasons given above I don’t think the PEAnuts are a very good idea .
Suck it up Dr Z . Where’s my prize ? 😉
The-o will bring the WALnuts?
Traore would have brought the ALMONDS but he’s fecked off thank Dennis
Buy?
Fruit?
Bless you TS, no such extravagance here. It is out of the tree, off the bush, or bollocks to it.
We have millions of trees and bushes in Wiltshire 😉
Night Dr Z – A very fine last instalment of the Diaries btw 🙂
At this rate Feelgood will be a worthy rival to Pepys , or Adrian Mole at the very least .
Santos will be bringing the Brazilians , smoke-flavoured .
Holic – The naughtiest Scrumper in town 😉
Heh! Holic. How naive of me. We have too many supermarkets in Herts 😉
Ta tabs, and, er thanks for the lines – as, as you know there was a little plagiarism involved – sounds like something one of the manifold medical men on ‘ere might be able to cure.
Now I almost hate myself for this line already – BUUUUUUUUUUT – is the technical term for a largish group who support and encourage one another in the same psychosis of the mind and that – a bunch of co-co-nuts?
i’ll get my coach!
ALAL 🙂 🙂
😀
Right, witching hour nigh. Until tomorrow you fine people…
ALAL, that line was off the wall-nut. 🙂
*Gets coat*
Night Holic .
Better go myself or I’ll end up a bit of a pissedachio .
I’ll get me coat . Tomorrow fellas .
Lester, the quality has been reeking of you all night 🙂
Well in my good man!
Ta gents – inc. Wind or is it Wind – really it was nuthing
Bob can bring the Hazell nuts.
That’s gonna test the froeigners in here 😉
ALAL @198 – 🙂
George Wood’s got the pine nuts.
Can anyone reach my coat ?
Trev@271 – And the cocktails, if i remember rightly – Dennis bless, and good nut all
UREDS!
H2H, Great post @120. Although, I always thought “armchair supporter” was a person who cheered at seats in a Home Depot. But then again, I don’t get out much so it’s to be expected…
@178: NBN, if I remember, there was a Canadian ‘gooner’ in this bar a while back who later defected to support the team of catalan divers so he might’ve been wearing a blue and red shirt instead of a red and white one 😉 Not sure if he was from Montreal though…
@218: Yeah, I was living the life of a poor graphic designer/illustrator in T&T, then went on to teach English in Japan, now translating boring documents from Japanese into English in an office. I think I need to get back into the art world though as “Can I draw your portrait?” is a better pickup line than “Can I translate your documents?”…
Thanks again for the many kind words everyone, I’m nutting without it 😉
7 year old nearly off to bed. After that it will be a challenge to catch up on the 200-odd drinks from the last 8 hours but something tells me 300 is gonna happen sooner rather than later. 😉
Shaft is speeding away from Heathrow airport in a black Camaro while listening to Lethal Bizzle on the radio. Despite the powerful winds, his magnificent handlebar moustache remains fixed in place. He starts muttering to himself.
Shaft: At least that Green Eyes was good for something. My moustache has never been tighter. It’s almost as if I have two butter knives glued to my face. Ah well, I gotta regain my focus…skinny broads ain’t my thing anyway. I gotta get back to trying to take down the biggest fat momma of them all…
Shaft opens the glove compartment and looks at an 8″ x 10″ photograph of none other than Twitchy Redknapp.
Shaft: I’m going to enjoy this. The best thing is, this one don’t know when he’s f*cked…
Shaft then starts scrounging around in the glove compartment for a map of London and the car starts drifting toward the shoulder. The Camaro then hits two hitchhikers while Shaft is still looking for the map. The two fly into the bushes and disappear from sight as Shaft’s head pops up to see what made the noise. He stops the car but seeing nothing, drives off. The hitchhikers later come to their senses in the bushes.
Squillaci: Ugh, we just wanted to get to the airport…
Almunia: That Shaft, he’s one bad mother….
Squillaci: Shut your mouth…
Aha. Some late night comic relief. 😀 Thank you Mr. Shaft / John Shaft. 😉
Redknapp doesn’t stand a chance!
Re: Dr. Feelgood @147. Loved it. 😀
Re: Prof. Longhair @105: Fabulous and spectacular!
Whoops. Should’ve been Prof. Lonestar. 😆
Re: Tabs @91: Fabulous again. 😆
Congratulations on your centuries to Dr. Feelgood and Dr W. Allet. Well in!
Re: zico @60: Top quality stuff.
Thanks to all for the heads up about today’s (yesterday’s now probably for most of you) hilarious Arseblog. 😆
Excuse Mr. 8ball, you seem to be doing 9 points a minute in a 3 post zone. Licence and registration please.
Wow…a well written article about Corporal Jenkinson that doesn’t bash him or us on the Daily Fail…
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/football/article-2061874/Carl-Jenkinson-dreamland-Arsenal.html
This interlull has been weird.
We didn’t get any season ending injuries…
That’s impossible.
Something’s going on…
A follow up on Theo’s top 20 assists, a video I linked earlier in the week.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=idOJUIYintc
‘looks out window’
Typical London weather 🙁
The weather for lurking…
In depression, he sneaks into the bar early, no sign of the barman or his regulars…
I’ve been lurking since 6:30 CoR lol, last nights assist was my waking nightmare lol
…nothing but scattered nuts on tables and a floor sticky with spilled ale…
It is me or does Shaft just get better and better? 🙂
He sees a drink on the bar from yesterday and takes a swig, for the hell of it. Big Mistake…
Szczeszny to Tommy V, he’s being playing great ever since his return in the Carling Cup for Arsenal vs Bolton.
Jinks past big Grant Holt, plays the ball in to Arteta.
Wind looks like he’s just woken up, but the look in his eyes has the look of a man on a mission…
Wind makes a stumbling, half walking half running run, Arteta looks up and pl;ays him in with the chipped through ball.
Wind footrolls past one, does a Marseille turn around Pilkington, the Pilkington.
Down the wing he goes!
Face to Face with the Norwich LB, he pulls the Elastico out of his bag of tricks! Unbelieveable!
He’s in the box, one on one with the keeper….
300!
And he strikes a Thunderbolt of a shot with his right foot! 3-0 to the Arsenal, away from home!
CoR: Holics! WHAT IS YOUR PROFESSION?
Holics: AROO! AROO! AROO!
fbh,adfsui;JAB’P;EFUOVNIlJFNB ;AGB’FRDVN;EGUOI’BJMI#FV;DUV;VNJ;JUVNW;LC
TACTICAL sUBSTITUTION:
73 minutes, Wind off, going back to bed.
CoR you dirty whore. Another assist for Wind, twice the century has been snatched from under his box in the nose.
Friggin’ RSS Feeds :'(
Hehe, I’m the Lurk Master 😉
On a more positive day, even with the sky as black as it is and the tears falling out of my soul, have a wotcher at this:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/football/article-2061770/Norwich-switch-shirt-sponsor-Arsenal-game.html
I won’t forget this CoR, you won’t see any more showboating from me in the final third 🙂
CoR nips in to steal the century Pippo Inzaghi-stylee!
The stunning thing about that post linked to in 234 is that…..there are only 18 drinks.
And I believe that was rather normal in them days of 3 years ago.
You’d only get over 50 on exceptional days (related to matches generally, I think?).
No silly things about who gets the centuries then 😉
Ollie @ 309 – things have taken a turn for the worse, obviously 😉
It’s the onslaught of modern medicine to blame.
8 ball, thanks for your comments above, but reverse drinking can leave a man seriously dis-oriented. Be warned. 🙂
Heh Shaft @ @276.
And there was Snir saying we didn’t get any injuries. 🙂
Hehe, I’m off to do some artwork holics!
Have a drink on me 😀
The Scene – Delirious Locomotives Ltd : Operations Room
Dr Feelgood, Professor Storey and Dr Spin are huddled around a laptop, deep in serious discussion. The conversation goes something like this……
Edwin : “……. full to capacity, couldn’t squeeze another passenger on board if we tried. The only way to increase sales is to compromise on storage. (Disapprovingly) Or safety.
Feelgood (smiling) : Or both!
Edwin : ” What do you mean?”
Feelgood : “It’s simple. The team are on a roll. We are only going up there to play a team of Norfolk Dumplings. Remove the Bubble Wrap Suits. Immediate capacity enhancement.
Dr Spin : “I’m not sure that’s a good idea, Dr F, if anything happens the media will have a field day.”
Feelgood : “Oh shut up Billy boy. Here’s a pound – go and put something on the jukebox.”
Edwin (smiling mischeivously) : “Actually, you could be on to something Dr F. We have been carrying some excess baggage……”
Feelgood (looking at Dr Spin) : “See?”
Edwin : “We could remove Wolfie’s shoe rack. His Speedo collection and his mirrored bedroom. I’m fed up having to go through piles and piles of fluffy pink clothing looking for my scientific instruments. He’s been known to help out in the Treatment Room from time to time so you may need to get Trev and Dr C on-side.”
Feelgood (malevolently) : “Oh don’t you worry about THEM, Professor”
With apologies to our good friend, Norfolk Dumpling 😉
zico. I need to work hard today.
So please refrain from writing stuff I may be tempted into reading.
Thanks.
Morning All ,
Trev @271 – Bob Hazell – now there’s a trip down Memory Lane . I do hope that whatever Supermac said to him , wasn’t too bad !
Shaft @276 🙂
Cheers 8Ball @282
Canons – a lovely bit of poaching at 300 . Hard luck Wind , keep trying , and remember , no self-assisting at 99 for it to properly count !
Dr Z @313 – Nice work 🙂 but I warn that Feelgood now , there’s nothing more venomous than a Smallballs whose Speedoes are under attack . 😉
The Scene : The Smallballs Residence . 9-00 a.m
Wolfgang Smallballs has just got up . He is dressed in his Night Speedoes , diving Goggles , and kitten heeled slippers and is talking to his pet Chihuahua , Gordon .
Wolfie : Well , isn’t this nice , Gordon , got the place to ourselves , Carlos off on holiday with Green Eyes , Tabs muttering something about work pressures , lovely ! *lights fancy coloured french cigarette in cigarette holder*
Gordon : *splutters*
Wolfie : There , there Gordon . Oh and look it’s that nice Lorraine Kelly on the telly , talking to Duncan Goodhew , he’s a renowned Speedo Man , did you know Gordon .
Gordon : *curls lip*
Wolfie : Anyway , enough of all this pleasure time Gordon , must get ready for work . Now , where’s my uniform and my paddle ? Let’s put on the radio , see what that charmless pair , Keys and Gray , are saying today shall we ?
Gordon : *snarls*
Wolfie : Now there’s no need to be like that Gordon . We ARE in a bad mood today , aren’t we .
Radio : …And let’s head over to our Business Reporter Thickie Quim , who we understand has some breaking News …
Thickie Quim : Yes , astonishing news being leaked out of DL Ltd this morning , that they will attempt to increase Passenger capacity without due regard to Health and Safety …
Wolfie : heh , nice one Feelgood !
Thickie Quim : … and that extra room will be acquired by the removal of out of date stock , principally and astonishingly Speedoes and Jimmy Choos .
Wolfie : What !!!! *picks up Gordon from his lap and hurls him against the wall*
Gordon : *splat*
Wolfie : This is War !!!! The man is out of control . I must meet with the good Doctors C and T immediately . The Quackery will fight this . He won’t know what’s hit him .
*Flounces out , stumbling in his Jimmy Choos*
😀
It’s war.
heh , bring it on 🙂
I just realised that we won’t (need to?) sign a new striker in January: we’ve got Sanchez Watt!
Oh good grief…
I’m starting to twitch like chief inspector Dreyfuss here…
He’s got a twitch, Inspector Dreyfuss has got a twitch ?
Dr. Z @313 / Wolfgang Smallballs @317: Great stuff! 😆
Wind / CoR @300: Where were you earlier when I needed you? Sleeping? And did one of you impersonate a traffic policeman? Carlos Kickemhard may have to investigate. 😉
Whoops. I almost found myself drinking backwards again. ;(
Snir, Excellent clip @289. Theo is both brilliant and frustrating but the older he gets the more consistent he is likely to be.
This is like the bit in Ghostbusters when all the mad spirits come together in one place and plot to wreak havoc…
Re: CoR @287: Good find on that Jenkinson article. What a whirlwind of a year it has been for him.
‘holic, I never saw Ghostbusters but is this the clip you mean?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0MT2B-OtrmM
From: Dr C
To: Dr T, Nurse Wolfie
cc: Carlos
Urgent meeting in The Quackery – soon as you can. Together we are stronger. They attack one of us, they attack all of us.
Heh , Holic @321 – Just for you 🙂
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CKXDmPG4FiI&feature=related
*goes back to trying to find clip of Bob Hazell getting sent off in 1978 for having a swing at Supermac*
What Dr C said.
Dr C , All for one and one for all ! Can I be Porthos ?
Have cabled Carlos to return with immediate effect . Suggest meeting takes place under cover of darkness tonight , when Dr T arrives . He’s always late , the slacker .
In the meantime , I suggest we go deep deep deep undercover , and initiate total and immediate lockdown .
8ball – Thank you for the kind words . Fancy a Cinzano ? 😉
Just in case this goal has gone unnoticed:
http://www.101greatgoals.com/videodisplay/joel-campbell-spain-15695668/
🙂
Thirsty work keeping up with all these drinks!
Belated thanks to zicoinexile for his offer to open Lars’s wallet. It would be churlish to refuse…
By some freakish quirk here’s Dreyfus and a young G.Bale in the same clip. By the looks of his kit the S.winger was still at Southampton when this was shot …
http://youtu.be/WnlIWpZSPXU
Forgive me, Wolfie, for bringing this forwards, but you can turn the lights out if it makes you feel safer….
Right troops, a couple of things on the agenda today;
Clearly we need to respond swiftly and decisively to the latest attack on The Quackery. It’s one thing when they have a go at Dr T and me –we’re both big enough and ugly enough to deal with it. But when they threaten Wolfie’s changing room and Jimmy Choos….. they’ve gone too far.
The other problem, and I feel that it is connected, is the proliferation of multiple personality disorders that abound on the HT. Half the time I don’t know who’s who and, therefore, who’s to be trusted or not. I sat down last night with my pipe and tried to make some kind of sense of what the fuck is going on. This is the best I can come up with;
Dr F (Dr Z / Zico) has been having a bit of a crisis, ever since he discovered that the ex-Mexican Gaol Chief (“el Jefe”) (Wolfie / Carlos kick’emhard / TaBS / ?? Green Eyes) was in league with us. A shame he didn’t get appointed but never mind. On top of that he saw Green Eyes get Shafted (CoR) more or less right before his eyes…
Anyway, Dr F is now back from his disastrous desert island holiday with Roxette and Gareth the Chimp. He seems to be getting more and more belligerent towards Prof TeS (TS). This, I hope, may represent an opportunity to divide and conquer. Shades of the last days of Napoleon….
HOWEVER it was the very same Prof TeS who has come up with this idea about jettisoning Wolfie’s shoe collection. Dr Spin (Snowy), who seems to be playing both sides (calm down Nurse) was present at the meeting, but Dr F seems to think that he’s a DJ. So, again, fuck knows where that’s going.
As to what to do about all of this? Well, one option would be to get that Texan, Barrister Lonestar, involved. But that would most likely cost us a wedge. And he smells of llamas. We’ve got patient Gang Goolie deprived of his meds, but curiously that seems to have actually calmed him down of late.
Getting lithium into the HT water supply would settle the whole lot of them down, but that doesn’t really help our particular problem.
I’m going to send a copy of this meeting to Carlos (TaBS / Wolfie / Green Eyes / El Jefe), who, as you know, is escorting Green Eyes (TaBS / Wolfie / Carlos / El Jefe) on holiday at the moment. I suspect that she may be a plant by Dr F, but fortunately Carlos is immune to her charms. By the way, how are you doing in the flat without him, Wolfie (TaBS / Carlos / Green Eyes / El Jefe)? I’m sure you feel like you have too much of an empty space without Carlos to fill it.
The best I can come up with is, perhaps, to get a note out to Italy asking El Jefe to come back and meet up with Carlos at Heathrow. He’s due back tonight, as long as those couple of wankers he saw at the pool don’t give him any trouble.
Also, I believe Shaft is always open to offers. Nurse, I don’t care if what you offer him is drugs, money or booty. Do what you have to to get him on our side – I think he could be handy in tight situations. Get the three of them together and we’ll see what they can come up with.
The battle lines have been drawn. Nurse Wolfie will NOT lose her Choos.
Now, let’s have a smoke.
Dr C, Excellent summary @337, you must have a photographic memory. 🙂
Nurse Wolfie #333. Are you allowed to drink cinzano while on service? I’ve heard the patients have more confidence if the nurses drink more manly drinks. 😉
Crisis? What crisis?
Dr C , a superb precis of events so far . Looks like you have the story so far , absolutely correct . 🙂 🙂
I’m still slightly baffled as to the true identity of Kendo Nagasaki , and Andy Goram Andy Goram , and whether they have had any part to play in this ludicrous “Bin the Speedoes” scandal .
No doubt we shall get to the bottom of it 😉
Now then , I’ve put out a feeler to El Jefe , but he’s tied up in a Bunga Bunga Party – quite literally .
Carlos is on his way , and has promised increased weaponry . I’ve wasted no time in contacting The Gooner Ladyboy Massive , through the delectable Lucy Nutcrakerjee , and they’re on standby with instructions for an all out assault when they hear the words
” Operation Feelgood Hardinso is a goer , repeat , is a goer ” .
I think we have all bases covered . Pass the Pipe Doc …
Ok , given up trying to find a clip of poor old Bob Hazell getting sent off , but here’s Supermac’s winner at the death , seconds after Hazell got his marching orders ( at 4-04 in the clip) . FA cup 1978 , and if memory serves Wolves had played us off the park that day .
Snir , where are you when I need you ?
Arsenal 2 Wolves 1 FA Cup 4th Round January 1978 . The Big Match .
I look forward to seeing the pre-match build up , the whole match , and all post match analysis 😉
Wow.
You guys are brilliantly insane. Or insanely brilliant.
…or fucking nutz. 😉
I hear that train a comin’;
it’s rollin ’round the bend…
BMBD!
8ball –
Thanks for the props. You keep reverse drinking.
Viva la revolucion!
BMBD!
re the need to find a potent replacement for RVP when injured (if Park doesn’t come good / get a chance soon)….. surely we should be sniffing around a short-term loan for either Drogba or Anelka?
Proven, experienced – yes. Goalscorers – yes. Massive C#nts – yes, but rather they were on our side in the short-term!
Catalan –
How would that even work? No way Chel$ki allows us to get any stronger after our last vist to the bus stop in Fulham.
BMBD!
seeing as how everything Arsene touches turns to gold again – i’ll wager 10 guineas on Super Marouane Chamak to make a comeback and crack it in The Arse attack – maybe
Doubt the Chavs would sell/loan to us Dr Catalan ( as opposed to Dr C ! ) . Think Anelka would be willing but doubt Drogba would be willing to jeopardise his “Chavski legacy” . Then there’s the small matter of wages …
I rather liked that Udinese striker who played against us in the qualifier .
Afternoon Lonestar .
erm, that would be “visit.”
*Wipes eyes because I can’t believe an actual football question was proposed.*
BMBD!
TaBS – my main man.
How are things, boss? I think we need to convene a hunta to resolve the DL Ltd management issues b4 the whole lot end up in the Hague.
BMBD!
Afternoon double AL , I would never bet against one of our own , but I think there would be quite a few , willing to take you up on that bet .
Not so bad Lonestar , thanks . And yourself ? Drinks time ?
As for DL Ltd , I’m staying out of it 😉
Holic, has one of my posts been caught by your spam filter?
It’s a matter of life and death 😉
Duck boys !!! I sense a pre-emptive strike on its way ! 😉
Blimey , Dr Z , what you been writing ? Must have been bad , bearing in mind BTA got through at the first time of asking 🙂
Dunno, but when I try to re-post, it says “duplicate comment” 🙁
Maybe Carlos has got his zap gun ? 😉
I’d alter a couple of words and try and repost – see if that works .
@341 – forgot to put in the clip 😳
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rBvB3-lHAQM
Tried thzt tabs, didn’t work.
Holic has maybe got fed up and put me on the blacklist 😉
400!
Well he did say earlier that these Interlull drinks were making him feel a bit twitchy 😉
Andy Goram / Andy Goram heh 🙂
This place is packed, aint you got no homes to go to. Costs del gooners
Heh. Thickie Quim. Laughing out loud moment – strange looks from fellow commuters (again).
Feck them and their Metro 🙂
D L Limited *
Vacancy : An opportunity of a lifetime
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The above position is currently open to high (super) quality candidates fpr the role of Personal Trainer and Bodyguard to the Chief Executive. This vacancy has arisen due to the company moving into emerging markets and will necessitate a flexible attitude to work, with a willingness to travel and work in unusual environments.
The preferred candidate will perform both “core” and “variable” duties. The core duties to consist of the following:
Door Supervision
Key Holding
Cash and Valuables Transit
CCTV
Security Guarding (static and patrol)
Vehicle immobilisation (wheel clamping)
Close protection and bodyguard (A team of psychotics will be provided to assist)
Firearms
Roxette handling
An example of the variable duties would be “condom swallowing” at various border entry points (a list may be available on request) however the variable duties will be defined as circumstances dictate and/or evolve. An ability to adjust to changing situations is key.
The position will suit someone from a military background, preferably with some Special Forces experience, and a keen interest in the martial arts. A Club Level Season Ticket at the Emirates Stadium (and a willingness to share) would be a definite advantage.
Please note that citizens of Peru need not apply. A substantial salary with benefits is available to the correct applicant. Please send your CV and Personal Mission Statement to:
FF Protective Solutions
Freepost
FIFE
* D L Ltd is an equal opportunities employer and is part of the Feelgood Foundation.
At least you get the seat to yourself Dr Z 🙂
🙂
I carry a Stick (you know the kind) just in case 😉
Heh 🙂 .
Right ,off to pick up Carlos from the Airport . No doubt he might have something to say when Feelgood finally gets his sh*t together 😉
Later Chaps .
Interesting, I have just sent an e-mail to a couple of Spaniards and an Italian, with the greetings in Spanish.
Italian replied ‘Grazie’, one Spaniard replied ‘Grazias’, and another replied….. ‘Mercy!’…..which was an English word not meaning thank you last time I checked 😛
Good points Lonestar and TaBS re the chavs not doing business with us… was so excited to have a football question I didn’t think it through! 🙂
Ollie – Many Catalans say “merci” ….. where is your Spaniard from?
Out-bleeding-rageous, “Dr” Feelgood (Edwin) –
“get Trev and Dr C onside” – I, alomg with Dr C, am one of the only two people on this Train / Bar (even the inanimate objects have dual personalities now) who have a proper doctorate – well nearly – and you cannot even pay me the courtesy of referring to me as such.
Every Dr Tom, Dick Doctor – sorry Dr Dick – and Dr Harry is afforded the title quite erroneously, but mine goes missing.
This is one sleight too far Feelgood.
Well I hope you do feel good – it will be some time before you receive the benefit of my wisdom, should that not be the case.
Right, back to see what other insults are casually imbedded in the last twelve hour’s worth 😉
Excellent summary Dr C 🙂
Hello chaps, what are you drinking?
TaBS – Udinese striker is Di Natale.
Agree – he looked very good against us. Maybe if Udinese are out of the Thursday night club by January..??
Ollie @367: A Y for an I, perhaps.
Dr C, Wolfie –
haven’t read all your communiques as yet but it is quite clear that Feelgood needs to be brought sharply to his senses.
I have to pop out – as it were – but could one of you arrange for Wolfgang to ready himself in his shrink-wrap Speedoes ? 😉
NBN @372 – or a tooth for a tooth ?
Dr T…. perhaps you have been promoted to Mr T ????
Wtf is wrong with this network?
The connection with downstairs is slow again. It had been OK for a few days. Nearly unworkable.
When the alternative is to work into a ridiculously noisy environment, as I don’t have to physically interact with the equipment now, it’s a lose-lose situation, as the jargonists (new word?) would say.
Grrrrrrrrrrrrr
Dr C and NBN, er, it was supposed to be French, but the mis-spelling was the whole point of my (light, granted) amusement at that e-mail, innit? Surprised you didn’t get it…..
He’s Basque by the way (and he’s my favourite Spanish colleague, possibly the only one who’s neither a nutter nor a cunt).
Di Natale?
Oh, go on then.
tabs you heard it here first – “Comeback Chamak” –
If on the other hand the lad continues to appear to be weighed down by excessive gelling of the barnet, i will endeavour to create a new identity for myself and visit here only under an assumed name …
Come on Chamak my old son – wash yer hair and get out there and score some goals.
More rock an’ chips over the keeper – ta
I’ll get my fez
Ollie – sorry. Literal head on. I’ll get a pint in…
Cheers, Dr C
I have done in over 35 minutes something that should have taken less than 10.
At least it worked….
Looks like it’s not the network though, rest of the stuff on the PC I’m connected to looks to behave OK, but something wrong with that app I am using. I strongly suspect Java is to blame. As usual. Lot of memory-consuming crap I says.
Time to go home, methinks.
Drop in on your local on the way, Ollie 😉
Holic – finally. You can delete the rest in the spam zone. I wonder if it was the address I originally posted??
Excellent – news is reaching me that Dr F is panicking already. As well he might…..
Carlos and Shaft should be meeting veeeery soon. And, of course, Carlos is going to take upsetting Wolfie personally….
I’ll say one thing for you, zico. You’re a persistent bugger 😉
You might be right about the spam filter not liking Freepost, but all’s well that ends well…
Tabs @ 316,
Ty mate, cheered me up proper 🙂
I would of known in my heart that it wouldn’t of been right anyway, similar to one of 8 ball’s centuries a good hundred few drinks ago 😉
Catalan @ 376, 🙂
When I’m down, I just come to this blog to get back up again.
A bit late but the guardian posted a surprisingly long and mostly good obituary of Alf Fields there: http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/2011/nov/16/alf-fields-obituary
Other than that count me in to support the Chamakh comeback movement, we could use a few headers to connect with Jenkinson’s crosses…
Matt @ 388,
Funny thing Matt, my fellow Gooner’s who would of played Bendtner over Chamakh are kinda silent now.
From when our Moroccan scored in the last and 1st and lst minute against Wolves last season at the Moilenux, I’ve been a fan.
As I keep the Faith in the mighty Arsenal always, I’ll keep the faith in Chamakh as well 🙂
*sees the advert for vacancy in DL Ltd . Smirks . Thinks to himself that Ship has already sailed Feelgood*
*Prowls around a strangely deserted DLL headquarters in an outfit not dissimilar to Robocop . Looks like the chicken has fled the coup . Heads back to base*
Drs C and T ,
Shrink Bubble wrap – Tick .
Gooner Ladyboy Massive – Tick .
(Mr?) T – Tick
Fully Armed Carlos – Tick
Dr C – Tick .
Overseas support from Italy – Tick .
Dr Feelgood , one job advert , no takers , more exposed than Nathan the Naturist’s nadgers on a November day .
Can we get a ‘FeelGood on the Run’ segment Dr Z?
Or is this situation going in a completely different direction?
Is the ball going to start rolling, or what? 😉
Wind…. you actually think anyone’s got a Scooby where this is going?? It is the Asprilla of blogs….
People whose shoes I would not like to be in right now:
Mario Balotelli (Cuntishness)
Silvio B (Screwed up)
Martin Johnson (Rugby Disappointment)
Anyone who supports Tottenham FC (Poor Souls)
Dr FeelGood (Impending Death by Jimmy Choo)
I think it was Carlos Kickemhard in the billiards room with Jimmy Choos.
Matt @388 thanks for posting for Alf Fields obit – really interesting read
And Jinky Jenkinson feeding the Chamakh attack sounds good to me – s’long as the big C remembers where the whatsaname is
Usupereds
A little bit of nervy play in the penalty area . Who will keep their cool ?
My terror knows no bounds.
On my tail I have
a sweaty, ill-educated Mexican,
a Peruvian illegal immigrant minus stick,
a transvestite up shit creek with a paddle,
2 dipsomaniac doctors and
a coterie of Malaysian Girl/Boys.
You lot have never seen Kirkcaldy at closing time, obviously.
Bring it on,
Yours persistently,
Feelgood Freedom Fighters
pardon the Alf Fields
I give up. Honestly.
Well I guess Dr F needed it more than me at this stage in his life 🙂
And who else up Wolfgang Smallballs, leader of the resistance with the assist!
Own goal material if I ever saw it =D
And who else but Wolfgang Smallballs, leader of the resistance with the assist!
Own goal material if I ever saw it =D
Apologies for the double post in advance ‘bows head and walks out of the bar backwards’
Heh Dr F 🙂
He hits the back of the net ! Has he got his mojo back ?
Keep your head up Wind 😉
3 attempts, snatched off my toe every time, twice with skill, once with cheeky intent (Cor) and also once with just cheek (Dr W Allet, you know who you are 😉 ), but this time, its been on the back of a call to arms.
I’m keeping my head up tabs, but I’m ony swimming into the deep end…
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>