If Only This Game Were Being Played On Paper
Mar 20th, 2015 by 'holic
There is no more time to go over the Champions League exit. The priorities for the remainder of the season are to finish as high in the Premier League as we can, and retain the FA Cup. The title bid that the repugnant Mourinho says we are still in continues at St James’ Park (or whatever the cock Ashley calls it these days) on Saturday afternoon. We have won our last six against the Geordies, so they will feel the law of averages owes them a favour.
They will be up against it, as it is reported that they may have only thirteen fit outfield first team squad players available. Let’s remember they can only play fourteen anyway. Fabricio Coloccini, Siem de Jong, Cheick Tiote, Massadio Haidara, Steven Taylor, Papiss Cisse and Paul Dummett, are all unavailable. We will though need to keep a watchful eye on the likes of Sissoko, Gouffran, and Ameobi.
As for ourselves we could welcome Tomas Rosicky back into the squad that won so comfortably in Monaco. Some rotation may be wise, Alexis being the most obvious case in point, although Arsene may be reluctant to rest our leading goalscorer again. The back five could remain unchanged, so untested were they in the principality.
Francis Coquelin and Aaron Ramsey may be anchoring behind a trio of Theo Walcott (or Rosicky?), Mesut Ozil, and Danny Welbeck, with Santi Cazorla joining Alexis on the bench in order to freshen them up for the vital matches ahead? Olivier Giroud must start up top but should we find ourselves in a strong position then he may be taken off early and kept fit.
We have bounced back from Champions League disappointment with impressive away wins in the last two seasons. A repeat of that form is required. For their part the Geordies are sufficiently clear of the bottom three (seven places and ten points) to be free from immediate pressure and one or two who didn’t expect to feature at this stage may feel inclined to show what they can do.
If selected Theo too needs to produce a performance. Apparently his contract talks have been put on hold until the end of the season. This must suit both parties. The player will know he is not justifying his current terms in the region of £100k per week, and presumably is looking to better that. Arsenal clearly won’t commit to that without seeing the evidence that the England international has recovered form and confidence since returning from last season’s horror injury against the neighbours.
The ‘holic Pound
In all honesty this could be anything, but I am currently thinking we will start with a safety first attitude and look to break when the opportunities allow. It could be a tight affair after the exertions of Tuesday night, but I am drawn towards a 0-2 triumph for the visitors after a disciplined performance. Paddy Power offer 15/2 against that outcome, and I am looking for a fourth consecutive Premier League pound to come in.
Have a great weekend, ‘holics.
148 Responses to “If Only This Game Were Being Played On Paper”
Zing
Zong
Says it all, as ever. A fine preview, Maestro. I can’t decide whether counting Premier League pounds separately is more or less cocky than including Tuesday’s result and saying you’re going for a fifth straight win. Whichever, and for what they’re worth, my very best wishes for the success ofthe ‘Holic pound.
COYG
1-2. Not a single doubt. Will be watching at our local.
Injuries are just excuses apparently.
I think Theo is on a very slippery slope. Third starter behind Ox and Gnabry on Theo’s current form (and, before funny Jim points it out, when all three are fit).
If it was played on paper would there be danger we’d crumple?
Or would we be able to blot out the memory of CL elimination?
And wouldn’t there be an increased risk of soft tissue injuries on that surface?
*ahem*
Heh @ Cynic. At the very least we would lose a key player or two to paper cuts. 🙁
I’m sorry for those last three drinks. They were sheet.
Nice preview maestro. I agree we will probably rest Alexis and Santi.
We need three points here. Real effort required and an opportunity to stake a claim for the starting berths.
No papering over the cracks. :/
If Feo gets a game then he has to prove his worth to this team or else he will be offloaded in the summer.
Here’s hoping your bet yields big bucks again this week, H.
Potential banana skin but a game we really should win. Just get the three points, boys.
BtM? The Kingdom of Fife has a foreign contract with Sky allowing live transmission of all our matches?
I come from a long line of Gooners going right back to my great grandad, my old man was brought up in Avenell Rd and never gave me a choice on what team to follow. Just as well, otherwise I would be sitting in the Gallowgate end(I am by the way) cheering on the skunks. I was born in Gateshead and apart from a few Mackems all my mates are Newcastle. This match is my Tottenham and I am shitting myself. I hope the Holic pound note collects but I reckon it might be even closer. I think we`ll be needing a clean sheet to take maximum points tomorrow. With the Mickeys and the mancs playing eachother it will be a big win for us if we get it. I think that there will be a few changes to the starting 11 and I am expecting to see Walcott and Rosicky come back in. I also have a feeling that he might start Welbeck through the middle and use Giroud from the bench. That will be a big call considering OG record against this mob but he looked really weary towards the end of the Monaco game. Anyway, whoever is coming up, have a blindin time and if the match turns out badly and you are feeling like shit, just remember there will be someone close by feeling even worse. Come on you fucken Reds.
Good stuff, Holic.
Good luck with the pound.
If we were playing on paper I could see our defence folding, or making many a slip. Or maybe just being completely stationery.
At least Cheque Tiote isn’t playing though.
I’m creasing up, but surely all these puns sre judt pspering over the cracks?
Oops.
…are just papering…
Pesky incompetence.
The advantages of simple origami are two fold.
If we played this one on paper we most clearly would beat them to a pulp.
Nice preview H. Personally I think this is a game we need to grab hold of from the first whistle. The Geordies are a mess on and off the field. A few out of tune versus of the Blaydon Races will soon be silenced if we can dominate from the off. I would expect us to get our noses in front and then have little problem in bullying a result from there on in against a weakened opponent. I’m going for a 4-0 to the mighty Gunners.
The Theo contract talks are interesting. With the new Sky deal and the BT deal for the Champions League, the increase in revenue each club will receive will be massive. I can imagine agents licking their lips at the next round of negotiations. If clubs are being rewarded like they never have before just for turning up, then you can bet that agents will want an extra cut for their clients. They would not be doing their job if they didn’t.
It’s interesting to read the comments on Theo. He has galvanised his position that he the clubs official Marmite character. Whatever peoples views are he is a player with the ability to score goals and change games. I think he needs and will get a decent run out tomorrow. I was fortunate enough to see him tear the Geordies a new one at The Grove not that long ago.
Bring it on.
Arsenal by a wide margin rule. On paper.
Cheers H.
Heh at all the paper puns.
Tough game. Just win it. I reckon Rambo will knock in a few before the season’s end and back him to get one tomorrow.
As long as all the boys show they are up for it we will be fine. I expect every player’s rating to be A1…
The Geordies are Arse wipes and we will flush ’em.
Öskar
Is this game at St. James Park …or Manila?
We’re all being a bit cautious in here tonight. Excellent scene setting Guv’nor but we own this mob and I think we will prove too good for them. The first half hour may be tight but I really think we will have too much for them all over the pitch.
Newcastle is a car crash of a club but they didn’t play this week and we had a very energetic performance and had to travel albeit it not very far. I’ve been wanting to rest Sanchez for some time and I think the lad deserves at least a week break somewhere warm with one of what appear to be a bevy of lady friends( lucky bastard) . I agree that Theo who has an excellent record against this mob should start and I think Welbeck is in excellent form and those three will cause plenty of trouble.
If Akpom is fit he would be a nasty surprise for them coming on with twenty minutes to go. I think the Holic pound is on fire ( so to speak) but if the TTG pound was being wagered I would be heading for a 3-0 victory. But if we lose I will be wearing the foolscap tomorrow night.
0-3 if Theo starts. 1-3 if he doesn’t.
Öskar
This one is for Dr F. From previous drinks, your Sartre and Althusser…
While musing existential
The boozing Jean-Paul Sartre
Found liqueurs influential
And to Chartreuse was a martyra
The Marxist Louis Althusser
Found catharsis as a juicer
With what he soused his alimentary
He was materially aleatory
Öskar
Aha, ttg is thinking outside the envelope. 😉
Don’t need an envelope, Trev, when you post here.
Öskar
Falcao’s ex-agent speaking about Van Gaal:
“He is a coach that kills your confidence, he destroys it,” said Espindola.
“This is happening with other great players that were at a high level and with Van Gaal have gone downhill.”
Link: http://www.bbc.com/sport/0/football/31995728
Cheers H! With a bit of luck should get to see it in The Chelsea battle again, although on one strange occasion the landlord in there put Lily White Cunts on in preference to us, we shall see.
Good write up, Gaffer.
Geordie in laws staying the weekend, so I will be praying even harder than usual for three points for the good guys.
4-1 Arsenal.
Re: Theo, I’m in two minds. On the one hand, I think he’s a good player and would cost more to replace than the money we’d get for him given his contract situation. On the other, if it meant never having to hear his name in the bar again I’d drive him to the airport myself.
COYG
If we don’t beat the Barcodes, entire team in the corner with the foolscap.
As you have said Guvna, on paper this should be a nailed on win and even a comfortable one give the Barcodes’ current squad depletion on top of a season of appalling mediocrity. However we all know that this Arsenal team has not yet shed its Dr Jekyll/Mr Hyde schizophrenia and the midweek exertions were considerable. So it’s very hard to call.
We have had to work very hard for our goals and still have the capacity to gift them to the opposition at any point. So I think the outcome will probably be a classic 1-0 to the Arsenal though I would love it if we produced an epic 4-0 to the Arsenal and really put a marker on the course.
Frankly speaking, Otd, don’t you and Trev just stamp on each other’s posts?
And as it is Newcastle, no other excuse needed to watch ‘that’ goal against them:
https://youtu.be/n275iW54o68
Groaning at the paper puns 😉
Here’s to A3 point haul later…
Hope Alexis gets a rest and Theo starts!
We should be able to maintain momentum and at the same time rest our key players for the bigger fish!
😀
No soft tissue injuries please!
*wonders how Trev missed that one?*
A comedy genius beat him to it 😉
Bath @ 12,
Don’t know about the Kingdom of Fife but the Colony of Oz shows every game live – haven’t missed one yet.
It is a long way for you to travel though even if the climate is better.
3-0 to the good guys.
UTA.
So in the City game a West Brom player fouls Bony outside the box, by giving him a slight brush as he runs through. He carries on and is tackled inside the area.
The ref gives a free kick outside the box and a red card but sends off the second defender instead of the one who made the foul for the free kick.
The ref has sent off a West Brom player for denying a clear goal scoring opportunity, but how can he give that red card when another defender was there and got a tackle in?
Free kick might be fair enough, the red card was wrong and he gave it to the wrong player anyway.
Great refereeing. English refs – best in the world…
Great pity that Gnabry’s injury woes appear to be continuing. His potential is higher than Walcott’s. Would have been good to see him have a stellar run-in to the end of the season to provide some extra lever on the would-be 150k per week man.
Bath, a savvy barman with a potent dish (not a curry mind 🙂 ). Slingbox is the answer if you want to watch at home. You need a mate in the USA, Singapore on Noosa though who has a BPL package. Works a treat, I used to watch every game on my Pad when I was a traveller. You control the TV from your pad – made Her Nellieness grumpy on occasions when I switched her from Desperate Housewives to The Arsenal 🙂
Heh! Ned,
See you managed to pad out the paper puns when I had a scroll through earlier.
Re: Cynic @40: Just pray the referees have already reached their quota of absurd game changing decisions for this weekend. Praying seems to be about the only thing that helps. 🙂
I do disagree with you somewhat on the call. Dawson does deny a clear goal scoring opportunity in my eyes. His foul is the only reason McCauley is able to get in a challenge and if not for Dawson’s foul Bony could have already scored by the time McCauley does get involved.
Cheers for the preview guv.
Surely it would be easier to draw on paper?
Especially if we got a pen’.
I’ll get me own coat.
Full team: Ospina, Chambers, Gabriel, Koscielny, Monreal, Coquelin, Ramsey, Alexis, Cazorla, Welbeck, Giroud
Subs: Szczesny, Gibbs, Mertesacker, Bellerin, Flamini, Rosicky, Walcott
From .com
Ozil not in squad.
Misses out though illlness according to the beeb
Ozil out injured?!
Walcott must be thinking what must he do to get a start….!
Doesn’t bode too well for him…!
Needs to show more effort, one would think.
To show some loyalty after all the club has done for him, may very well be another way of thinking.
Would’ve thought the sheikh could have provided bottled water for the masses.
http://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-manchester-31999715
it’s been like a red and white version of “the office” in here the past couple of days. imagine if we were playing Liverpool…
ozil out worries me. rozza must have shared his box of tissues.
i hope theo comes in at 60 minutes and wipes them up.
If he comes on, I hope so too scruz.
COME ONNNNNNNNNNNNNN!
Glad you said it H2H – saved me the bother.
If not loyalty, a little gratitude wouldn’t go amiss.
COME ON ARSENAL!
Let’s go boys three points
Let’s get it ON!
COME ON YOU REDSSSSSSSSSS
Ospina just headed the ball futher then he’s ever kicked it. 😉
Oh Giroud u beauty
GIROUUUUUD
Ah.. Giroud!
😀
That man giroud has a bit of quality.
GET IN OLI!
Argh.. welbeck. almost!
Shoulda scored
Oh Danny
Two for giroud!!!
GIROOOOUD
Oh Giroud u beauty x 2
GIROUUUUUUUUUUUUUD!
😀
It’s going to be a rout this one….!
FINISH THEM.
Giroud doubters go suck one
Come on boys, score the second!
OH OG:D
ugh. bad spot for a free.
OG doing it defensively…
Coquelin very good
beautiful run by dw, gotta shoot lad.
agreed, gedo.
Indeed
odd half. we’ve been largely on top, but look panicky at the back at times. Aaron took away two good chances from OG, could easily have been 3 or 4.
Good first half, be patient, keep it tight. Coq and OG magnificent so far.
scruz – Calum seems to overcomplicate things at times and gives ball away cheaply few times
Any luck with reliable streams Eandy?
Giroud hat-trick?
He deserves his first for us.
Well played lads. Keep it up.
Lurky – http://www.livefootballol.com/streaming/english-premier-league/21-03-2015-newcastle-united-arsenal.html
the sopcast ones are dead, but spanish acestream works for me
or try around here http://livetv.sx/en/eventinfo/287807_newcastle_arsenal/
Ramsey too far forward, needs to go back to basics.
We are kilind them, but we sometimes try to be too “beautiful” for lack of a better word. Always looking for that perfect pass, or walking the ball into the net, when a shot would of been a better option. Not moaning as we are winning, but would like to see us being a bit more pratical and finish them off more cynically.
Thanks mate. All dead on livetv.sx. Will try the acestream..
Harry kane … His luck surely has run out. Unbelievable.
And pat riley called again and STILL wants his hair back.
FUCK
Wake up ffs
Fuck
What are we doing?????
What are we up to?
Sort it out lads…
Yellow card must be sewed in
that’s the panic at the back I was talking about. 🙁
And Lester pull 2 back on the scum. Let’s hope that doesn’t happen here.
COME ON ARSENAAAAL
We are not pressing effectively.
COME ONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!
Get it together!
Santi limping. Put on rozza.
Bring on the subs….
Take Alexis off.. he’s tired!
Need to do something.
we are seriously on the ropes.
We are leggy
Santi losing the ball, worrisome.
Monaco hangover.
no yellow?
Flam and Rozza for Coq and Santi…
Santi and Alexis off, rather
That was onside!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Argh!
Come on TR7
never offside
TR7 to the rescue !
Jaysus. We are mentally like jello out there.
Barely hanging on it seems.
showing our naïveté.
Chambers ffs stop overcomplicate things
It’s never easy, is it?
Hanging by a thread
Ospina…
Time to change my shorts. Whew.
Never in doubt….ha
YESSSSS
Thank fuck for that.
never make it easy for ourselves, congrats on the holic pound tho 😛
Wheewwww!!!!!!!
Blimey! That was tortuous listening.
Very important 3 points though 🙂
1-2. Never a doubt. Thanks Ladbrokes 🙂 Thanks Ivor the splendid little barman that could.
Classic Arsenal. We are strong in the league at the business end of the season again. Great effort. Well done lads.
The commentary on my stream kept banging on about the Barcode’s workrate and commitment. Pffft. What were they up to on Tuesday night?
We got in front while we had the legs and then did not let them back in it. Seriously chuffed with that. Hard won 3 points.Top result.
A very big result there. Legs looked gone in the second half though and no real surprise there. A really gritty old fashioned Arsenal performance.
Well done you Gooners.
Great resilience towards the end. Should have sealed the game in the first half where Rambo took away two excellent chances from Giroud and Danny shot awfully out of target after a brilliant spin and turn by Alexis.
The pitch looked dodgy, ball holding up and awkward bounce. Newcastle pressed very well in the second half and Giroud’s old partner Cabella had an excellent 45 minutes.
Those were some tired legs out there, especially Santi, Coquelin and Danny — first two rather unusually poor under pressing.
This game showed we need a bit more squad depth in the middle of the pitch to be able to contend manfully at both PL and CL.
Three more away games, and no more mid-week games until the last week of Sunderland at home. I don’t think we would look this chaotic in the rest of our matches.
Crucial result for us!
Where’s my medication…….
🙂
Bellerin proved his worth in those five minutes. Huge three points and momentum on track.
BTW, though some of Gabriel’s long-range passing was poor he did well both aerially and one-on-one against the fast and direct runners.
Rambo and Chambers both guilty of overcomplicating things.
“I don’t think we would look this chaotic in the rest of our matches.”
Here’s hoping Dr F. 🙂
Mr Hyde is still around.
8 ball @ 134: Yes. Almost pulled off a brilliant cut-back to Giroud, good save by Krul.
Ospina had a good save as well with the legs from a deflected shot. Some of his shot-saving attempts look technically clumsy but the positioning sense and composure is commendable.
bath @ 136: Well my hope is based on the fact that whatever combination of Coquelin-Rambo-Santi-Ozil is playing through the middle they won’t be this tired, TR7 won’t have another bout of illness (he looked way slower than his usual self) and would better handle the battles in the middle of the pitch.
Disagree with your assessment of Coq, doc faus’.
Only player in the midfield that had a good performance imho. Santi was leggy in the second half, as were others, which is not that surprising due to the exertions in midweek.
Not sure what Ramsey was doing, trying his hand at centre forward is what it looked like to me. Left a Welsh shaped hole in our midfield.
Still, we needed three points, we got three points. Mission acomplished.
H2H @ 139: Good first half by Coquelin, but I thought in second half though tackled well didn’t do well under pressure and lost possession a bit too many times, passing was poor as well…and entirely forgivable because he has been playing non-stop and puts on one of the hardest working performance in the team.
Rambo again lost his discipline and went seeking for a goal for himself. He needs to realize that he gets his goals as a natural result of him playing well through the middle and he neglects his main duty when he goes searching for one at every opportunity. A fine balance but today he got it a bit wrong.
Excellent three points. In last couple of seasons we are getting very good at security the points after CL exertions, a few years back this used to be our typical downfall.
A very difficult second half that was, and had me sitting on the edge of my seat till the last whistle. The players seemed to have anchors tied around their legs, which was understandable. Whichever way the gunner warriors got the three points at stake, they were three valuable booties. Up and still rising, GUNNERS.
Never in any doubt.
Except for all through the second half.
Some commentators describe our second half tiredness as if it was somehow a sign of weakness or fallibility. We played a huge Champions League tie in France on Tuesday and had to play full out until the last second and then had to travel up to the North East to play away from home in very cold conditions against a side who had not played since last weekend. So we outplayed them in the first half and struggled in the second. Quelle surprise !
Good sides hold on when under pressure and we did enough to win away. Five at home, three away. Burnley, Hull and United. We have an excellent chance of second place if we can keep our key players fit.
Thought of your punt at the whistle, BtM.
Good work sir 🙂
Ttg@143, watching & listening to commentaries, I felt – and have always – that none of the commentators and pundits has any soft spot for Arsenal. There always lurks in their submissions the wish that Arsenal slips at some point. To them, Arsenal would always fumble. Did anybody see what Sky Sports or Goal.com – I don’t remember who – put out soon after Monaco vs Arsenal? When the spoilt for money Chelsea lost in their backyard, even earth suffered no hitches, but when Arsenal won but had to bow out because they had also previously lost at home, heaven shook, and Arsenal and or Wenger was being described as a perennial/ specialist loser! How much the Citees, Chelseas, Real Madrids, Bayern Muniches, Manures, and even the less glamourous teams in Europe had been spending on recruitments when Arsenal went into a quist because of Emirates Stadium? It so wrenches my heart that I just wish the right thing should be staying away from commentaries. But like the local team I support in Ghana’s slogan says, I’ll ” never say die until the bones are rotten “. Fire up and up, You Gunners.
Hi Blaise, hope things are good in Ghana, it’s lovely to have you in the bar!
My dear departed Dad said to me when I started supporting Arsenal that you either love them or hate them. We all love them of course but they get a very hard time from the media. But we know the truth and are just prepared to live with the fact that tey are never given their due.
Next two weeks without proper football.
Life can be cruel.
Maybe I should try to…
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>