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Clearing The Bar

Jan 12th, 2017 by 'holic

The evening after the day before has arrived and the thundersnow has not made it anywhere remotely close to ‘holic Towers. The predictive text really wanted ‘colic to appear there which is particularly apt today given that so many babies on social media are suffering with it.

If you will forgive the me, me, me nature of this post I would be obliged. I remember taking good advice from a top man about blogging. Never say stuff like “I think we should, or I would do this. Nobody gives a shit what you think!” I try to remember that every time I type a piece. Sorry for the times I forgot it because he was right.

The problem is I have done a lot of thinking this week. The older drinkers in the bar have indignantly denied me my new found seniority. I am apparently still a pup. But sixty human years equates to, well a number of dog years in which puppydom has long since been confined to memory. Sixty years of watching the Arsenal, although only 54 of which I can recall with any clarity.

I’ve become the bloke that clears any bar in seconds. When I was at primary school we played every week, even in the middle of August, in thick, clawing mud, and it was cold so the lace on the leather football would leave an imprint on your forehead, and would cause irreparable damage to your orchestras if you were unfortunate enough to be struck amidships. (Actually they may have been right about the latter point!)

I was a right-half, and the right-back was not allowed to overtake me. His job was to lie in wait for the left-winger and kick him as far over the touchline as possible. When he did I had to recover the ball quickly and throw it to our right-winger who would have to use all manner of trickery to avoid a similar fate and cross a sodden ten stone lump of leather at a similarly sodden ten stone slip of a lad who played at centre-forward and was expected to head the ball, laces and all, in a downward direction without concussing himself.

It helped that down the years the equipment, if not the grassless pitches, improved. Football boots lost the over the ankle models I was still expected to wear on the rugby pitch. The revolution in plastics gave us balls without laces that were also water-resistant. Thanks to being at a rugby-playing grammar school I had to start in mens football at the age of 15. No problem. I went to watch Arsenal, and had even learnt some pretty handy tactics to employ when my football skills weren’t enough.

Any relationship between Sunday League football and the professional game was entirely coincidental. At fifteen I found myself watching Charlie George and George Armstrong on Saturday afternoons, but relying on a basic appreciation of Peter Storey as a fledgling left-back on Sunday morning’s tasked with hoofing hungover overweight wingers, double my age, as far over the touchline as possible.

By that time the Arsenal had ended seventeen barren years by claiming our first European trophy, followed a year later with the double at White Hart Lane and Wembley. I can have some sympathy with the teens either side of the millennium who must have thought Arsenal were entering another period of world domination. Our ninth championship would take another eighteen years to materialise.

In that time Terry Neill and Don Howe threatened to make us a power again. With Liam Brady, David O’Leary, and even (spits) Frank Stapleton, we should have been. One FA Cup win, albeit an unforgettable one, was scant reward for the years of torture we endured in the mid-seventies and mid-eighties. Now I can piss off the young ‘guns by recanting tales of how more than once we almost went down. Actually the likes of Manchester United, City, Tottenham Hotspur (oh how we roared!), and Chelsea did.

For along with the likes of the Irish geniuses we had to endure the likes of Hankin, Hawley, Meade, Kosmina (the sub who had to go for a piss before coming on). The defeats were legendary. Walsall, York, Oxford, Rotherham, Wrexham. There were others. George took over, cleared out the has-beens and never-quite-weres, and promoted the kids as had Bertie Mee before him.

The kids became winners in the League Cup Final against a monumental Liverpool team. They would humble the same great side two years later in the closing seconds of the most eventful of all seasons in front of Anfield’s grieving Kop. I pretty much gave up playing then. At 32 I figured George wouldn’t be calling. So I enjoyed watching him land another title, the domestic cup Double, and on a memorable night in Copenhagen the European Cup-Winners Cup.

Say what you like about George’s downfall in the season that followed. From 87-94 we were usually in contention for something and he left as his legacy his back four. Admittedly he also left us with the worst midfield we’ve ever seen. Rioch tried his best to whip them into shape, but the Arsenal didn’t need or respond to a regimental disciplinarian.

This funny French bloke came in. Glenn Hoddle rated him so that was ok, wasn’t it? He didn’t rule the squad through fear, but rather by educating them, and buying examples to demonstrate what he was asking of them. Vieira, Petit, Gimandi, Garde. They were versatile and trained more on the technical aspects of the game, ate strange but healthy food. His imaginative ways didn’t stop with the players. Anelka arrived, and left again for the cost of a new, dedicated training complex next door to the old one.

There was a double again, then a couple of barren years before Wengerball2 was released. Cup, Double, Cup, Invincible season, Champions League Final, and off the pitch a move to a brand new dedicated stadium almost next to the old one. Again, despite what followed, Arsene deserves to be measured against the great Arsenal managers who preceded him. Chapman, Allison, Mee, and yes, Graham. Not now perhaps. That divide is still too deep.

Sixty years though of down, then up, then down, then… you get my drift, I’m sure.

What have I learned. Well at every game we can help the team by screaming things like “MAN ON”, “SHOOT”, and of course “HEAD IT DOWN FFS” at the top of our voices. Some of you have been lacking in that department lately. Maybe that was the problem of the last decade all along?

Posted in history, tongue in cheek | 35 Drinks

35 Responses to “Clearing The Bar”

  1. on 12 Jan 2017 at 8:31 pm1Esso

    Drink!

  2. on 12 Jan 2017 at 8:37 pm2Goonerholic

    A Bushmills from Jackster is heading south right now mate. 🙂

  3. on 12 Jan 2017 at 8:37 pm3TTG

    Lovely reminiscences Holic. One does get philosophical when you can measure your life through great football moments. We have had many and we are privileged to have had them
    A great mate of mine died this morning. A year older than me but still not old. We were due to dine on Monday evening. His death encourages me to seek fun, live in the moment and celebrate life. Supporting Arsenal has enabled us to do that pretty well without it becoming taken for granted .

  4. on 12 Jan 2017 at 8:39 pm4Esso

    Top post mate. Strikes many a chord with yours truly. But – however shit we were 82 – 86, (and boy we fucking were at times), they were my favorite years of attending, culminating in that great orgy of release and satifaction at Wembley in 1987.

    One nil down, two one up
    We fucked Rushie’s record up.

    There’s something to be said for being young and up for it, but then again I aint giving up yet. And nor are you.

    Thanks for all your efforts over the last 10+ years on here, and here’s to a good few more.

  5. on 12 Jan 2017 at 8:41 pm5Goonerholic

    Sorry to read of his passing, TTG. Try and remember all of those good and funny moments you shared. Celebrate a wonderful friendship. They are precious.

  6. on 12 Jan 2017 at 9:11 pm6TTG

    Thanks Holic. It’s exactly what I intend to do

  7. on 12 Jan 2017 at 9:12 pm7Goonersince54

    You’ve done well H
    I tip my hat.
    Great place for Gooners to vent/despair/celebrate/laugh/cry, about all things not only Arse,but family and everything going on in the Universe as well.
    Cannot think of a better place to spend my dotage.
    As long as the Bar is open,and keeps supplying the freshly squeezed,i will keep walking through the doors.

  8. on 12 Jan 2017 at 9:14 pm8TTG

    I can’t believe there are any Arsenal fans who would entertain Payet after the way he has treated West Ham. Yet I’m told social media is full of people urging Wenger to sign him. We made that mistake with Gallas

  9. on 12 Jan 2017 at 9:16 pm9Goonersince54

    Commiserations on your loss TTG.
    Good loyal longtime friends are very hard to come by,and it is the measure of their worth, when they leave you bereft at their passing.

  10. on 12 Jan 2017 at 9:28 pm10Bathgooner on tour

    Nice one, old fella. ??

    I can see you as an indomitable wing half or full back. My shins are aching at the thought. ?

    We have no need of Payet.

    Sorry for your loss TTG. What Clive said.

  11. on 12 Jan 2017 at 9:30 pm11bt8

    Sorry, had to go for a piss before coming on. Otherwise I would have made the top five for sure. 😉

  12. on 12 Jan 2017 at 9:34 pm12bt8

    TTG, My sympathies for the loss of your friend. Friends are hard to find, and I imagine even harder to lose a special one of longstanding.

  13. on 12 Jan 2017 at 9:40 pm13Goonerholic

    Thanks bath. I remember playing for the cricket club against the football club one Boxing Day in the 80s and my great mate was managing us. He told the other three midfielders that day “If they start to take the piss leave it to him (pointing at me) to sort out. A team of Argentinian borstal boys refused to tour over here when they found out he would be playing.”

    Funny things you remember. 🙂

  14. on 12 Jan 2017 at 10:40 pm14TTG

    Thanks for all your kind thoughts. It’s a very reflective evening tonight

  15. on 12 Jan 2017 at 10:53 pm15Chris

    Lovely stuff, ‘holic. Recalling the era of 10-stone balls and the dangers inherent in heading them, about the only thing missing was any mention of dubbin. And maybe the look on your mum’s face when you presented the kit for washing.

    I envy you such a fine memory, but as a mere child of the mind-bending ’60s your brain cells would have survived relatively unscathed. In 1960 I turned 18 (an age at which we are all invincible) and was destined to experience its worst excesses. That’s my excuse anyway.

  16. on 12 Jan 2017 at 11:38 pm16North Bank Ned

    Excellent, Guv’nor. Just excellent.

    Only one question: were the 54 years of clarity consecutive?

  17. on 12 Jan 2017 at 11:45 pm17can't be arsed

    moooooooooooooooooooooo

  18. on 12 Jan 2017 at 11:47 pm18North Bank Ned

    Coquelin, Giroud and Koscielny all signs contract extensions.

    http://www.arsenal.com/news/news-archive/20170112/french-trio-sign-new-long-term-contracts

    Get Sanchez and Ozil to do the same.

  19. on 12 Jan 2017 at 11:49 pm19North Bank Ned

    Ttg, my condolences. One of the downsides of advancing years is that your close cadre starts to thin.

  20. on 13 Jan 2017 at 12:37 am20can't be arsed

    away jeez m’lud i’m sorry
    i hear moooo all day
    second nature

    sorry
    a 50something me
    but high stools around
    emptying apace

    sorry again big man
    but
    in the interest of the girls
    who are ALWAYS
    ?
    always
    .
    moooooooooooooooooooooo

  21. on 13 Jan 2017 at 12:44 am21can't be arsed

    yup ned19
    wonderfully put

    no less heartbreakin though

  22. on 13 Jan 2017 at 12:48 am22can't be arsed

    rhino hide getting thinner here

  23. on 13 Jan 2017 at 1:02 am23can't be arsed

    just before christmas
    got given back a Onion book
    a flaming lips cd and a foam pint of stout
    from
    “The Estate” of a lifelong friend

    .
    they were all mine anyway
    took 3years
    but
    he’d a loved it
    the cunt ?

  24. on 13 Jan 2017 at 5:41 am24Matt

    Top post ‘Holic.
    10 years of wonderful posts, 60 is nothing. A good 40 years of wonderful blogging awaits us all with at least 2 golden eras in them 🙂

  25. on 13 Jan 2017 at 10:36 am25TTG

    Injury news for tomorrow appears to be that Walcott, Bellerin and Coquelin are out and Kos, Ozil, Sanchez and Cech back
    Maybe
    Cech
    Gabriel Mustafi Kos Monreal
    Xhaka Ramsey
    Sanchez Ozil Iwobi
    Giroud
    Subs
    Ospina
    Holding
    BFG
    Maitland- Niles
    Ox
    Perez
    Jeff
    Possibly he might start Perez or the Ox but I wouldn’t bet on it

  26. on 13 Jan 2017 at 11:43 am26New Day Raisins

    Great post…and there was me fretting about turning 47 soon…

  27. on 13 Jan 2017 at 12:10 pm27Bathgooner on tour

    NDR you’re still a strapping yoof. All to play for still. ??

  28. on 13 Jan 2017 at 12:26 pm28countryman100

    A complete tour de force ‘holic. Congratulations! Here’s to the next ten years! (at least)!

  29. on 13 Jan 2017 at 12:45 pm29bt8

    ‘holic I forgot to say what a wonderful post this one is, and may have forgotten to say what a great year of posts you gave us in 2016, but always do appreciate your writing and actually like hearing the me, me, me quality that puts an oomph into the story that isn’t going to be found anywhere else. 🙂

  30. on 13 Jan 2017 at 2:04 pm30bt8

    Hoping the bad Friday the 13th news applies exclusively to Tottenham Hotspur and other evil entities.

  31. on 13 Jan 2017 at 2:51 pm31Pangloss

    Great post Guv’nor.

    I just wanted to share the fact that I’ve been on the phone to B bloody T for the past 90 minutes. The current bloke (4th) seems to be on the brink of shipping out a replacement to me so maybe there’s light at the end of the tunnel. Probably just an oncoming train, mind.

    Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh

  32. on 13 Jan 2017 at 2:59 pm32bt8

    Good player, Konta, and on the rise.

    http://www.bbc.com/sport/tennis/38606939

  33. on 13 Jan 2017 at 8:28 pm33Goonerholic

    Thanks all for your lovely words. Bless you. >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

  34. on 13 Jan 2017 at 10:00 pm34Chris

    Then again they could all be blackmailing you into keeping on keeping on, ‘holic. Heheheh. Retirement for you (from this forum anyway) isn’t an option. 🙂

  35. on 14 Jan 2017 at 7:19 am35Steve Vallins

    I come south London I’m 64 (no Beatles) been watching the Arsenal since the late 50’s again like don’t recall a few years even though I was there
    Do you remember the 4 all game with spurs I think Oct 63 l got split from my Dad and watched the game just above where the players come out
    I had to be collected before the end of the game which meant we left with Arsenal losing 4-2 on the walk back to the car we heard two almighty roars it had many combinations of the final result and it wasn’t until the next morning we found out the score not like today instant access to any news

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