An Evening With Ray Parlour
May 18th, 2018 by 'holic
A week of football watching on the television was brought to an abrupt and welcome halt by an evening with Ray Parlour in the Legends Lounge at the County Ground here. I was in need of a lift after watching the ease with which Atletico Madrid defeated Marseille in the Europa League Final. The Romford Pele duly obliged. I won’t go through his entire repertoire because the man has a living to make, but I hope to give a flavour of the evening.
First in Ray’s sights was Martin Known, clearly a team-mate for whom he had the utmost respect, but who was apparently rather too easily wound-up and found himself the object of some mickey taking on a pre-season tour when a certain Latvian central defender joined the squad for a trial. Ray and none other than Dennis Bergkamp had a wager on who could make Martin bite as all three were on the bench.
Ray got the first half and set about bigging up the new boy, “good tackle”, “lovely header, son”, “great player this centre-half, unbelievable”, all to no avail. After the break Dennis took over and soon had Martin biting, congratulating the giant for a disguised pass when clearly he had miskicked the ball to a team-mate, “what a player”. “He’s not that bloody good” countered the England international. Imagine everyone’s surprise when they reported back to London Colney to find Igors Stepanovs in the dressing room. “You boys were raving about his performance so I bought him” said the manager. To hear the rest you’ll have to go and see Ray for yourself!
After taking the title at White Hart Lane in 2004 Martin needed four appearances to win a Premier League champions medal and after getting three cameos from the bench the final match was against Leicester City at Highbury. The Arsenal trailed 1-0 at half-time but having made two attacking substitutions scored twice in the second-half and Martin turned to Ray to ask if he thought the boss had forgotten about his tenth appearance. Ray advised him to take his track suit trousers off and start warming up in front of the boss. “Good idea Ray”.
As he warmed up Arsene told him to get out of the way of his view of the game. Martin jogged towards the North Bank who roared his chant, “There’s only one Keown”. Ray knew this was too big an opportunity to miss and took his track suit trousers off and started jogging towards the North Bank. As he passed Martin said “what are you doing” and started chasing Ray down the touchline to roars of laughter from those in the East Lower.
“Gilberto’s injured. The boss says I’m going on” Ray said with a poker face. He then jogged back to the bench and took his track suit top off and stood behind Arsene gesturing to Martin that he was going on. The big defender sprinted towards the boss and grabbed him by the throat telling him that he needed the appearance. Ray was in tears. Eventually Martin got his thirty seconds and qualified for his medal. Afterwards Arsene asked Ray what had happened and roared out laughing, saying “that is the funniest thing I have ever heard.”
Centre-halves played a big part in his life. “When I was 17 Tony Adams taught me to drink!” and after recounting some memorable sessions told a wonderful story about the England skipper on the day he was invited to do the live FA Cup draw on television with Terry Venables, the England manager. Suffice it to say the boys had been on their usual Sunday lunchtime session when the car arrived to take Tony to the studios.
When the draw came Terry Venable drew the first ball and cut to Tony for his first ball. After rummaging around for an eternity he pulled a ball out, studied it from every angle, and said “number 31”. There weren’t 31 teams in the draw. He looked again, finally getting 13 correct. By seven he was back in the pub where he stuck a £200 fine on himself over the bar and told the assembled throng that they had to stay until one in the morning to drink it. Go and see Ray for the hilarious transformation in nights away when Tony went sober.
His George Graham stories are largely best avoided, and probably his views on Bruce Rioch too. Come to think of it I’ll gloss over his Glenn Hoddle tales too. Then next in line comes Arsene, a rich seam of amusing recollections like an away game at Villa where following dinner the night before the boss helped himself to a slice of apple pie whilst looking up at a match on the television above the buffet. So absorbed by the match he didn’t notice the pie slide off his pate onto the floor and sat down and grabbed his spoon for the first mouthful. Baffled by the lack of pie he looked around but couldn’t see it. “He doesn’t see much, to be fair”, brilliant Ray. He then declared “I’ll just have a coffee instead”.
Kevin Keegan took over from Glenn Hoddle and Ray was recalled to the England squad. Before a game against Poland the team were expected to be given a run-down on the opponents but instead Keegan announced they would have a race night after dinner and everyone bring lots of money. “Shearer and Sheringham, you’ll be the bookies.” With that everyone retired to their rooms. A while later Keegan went round every room bar Shearer and Sheringham and told the squad, “I’ve just looked at the video. Back number 6 in the first race.”
To cut a long and very funny tale short (do go and see Ray to hear about Phil Neville’s contribution!) Shearer and Sheringham were down around £275000 on the race. Ray, £32000 to the good, was asked what he wanted to bet on the second race. “I’ll have two and a half on number 3 please”. “Two and a half grand, Ray?” “No, £2.50”. Genius.
Keegan announced at the end of the night “we’ll meet for breakfast in the morning and go over some routines for the match”, turned as if to walk out before turning again and revealing all to Shearer and Sutton. “The lads won’t take the money, we had you over on that first race.” Immediately the smile returned to the faces of arguably England’s best strikers at that time.
Finally Ray talks about Alan Brazil, and particularly one excessive trip to Monaco for the grand prix, before winding up a wonderful three quarters of an hour.
Seriously, do keep your eyes peeled for one of Ray’s many speaking events. He is simply wonderful entertainment, and patiently signs for and poses with the audience once he has finished his set. The man is value for money, although I may be slightly biased.
157 Responses to “An Evening With Ray Parlour”
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Top stuff H
sounds like a great night.
It was a much-needed laugh, Clive. He came down to Aus last year for the tour and people have given rave reviews from there too. I hope things are well.
Clive reminds me I owe a couple of you an email. Apologies, I have been one busy bunny this last couple of weeks. I will endeavour to drop you a line this weekend.
It’s Cup Final weekend, so you are welcome to join me in Swindon 7 sanding and preparing the garage door and weeding the jungle! ?
Sounds a colourful evening, ‘Holic, and certainly more fun than painting a garage door.
Look forward to it H
It’s been a tough couple of weeks since Arsene announced his departure.
I am sure like me,you still haven’t come to terms with it all yet.
There are a couple of fabulous interviews with him on the Arse website about his life at the Club,
Highly recommended .
The Club and supporters are now heading into the great unknown,after 22 years of stability,we now face an uncertain future.
Imperative that the Board make the right decisions to keep us in the style to which we have become accustomed.
Interesting times indeed.
Love Kevin Keegan. Fulham are my second team as my dear old dad used to take me to the Cottage in the 70’s when I was a nipper to see the likes of Alan Mullery, Bobby Moore, Rodney Marsh and George Best. I remember writing to Super Kev when he became Fulham manager about the history and culture of that wonderful, friendly club and I mentioned that I was first and foremost an Arsenal fan. He wrote a handwritten letter back thanking me and saying how he hoped Arsenal would win the title as we played football “the right way”.
From previous drinks
In these febrile times, the mob will be baying for instant success.
Someone like Allegri has enough stature to be given time.
Our board will be doing Arteta no favours, if they give him the job. A bad start and he will be under huge pressure, because he is a rookie boss and not at all what some (including me) were hoping for.
I’m spending a rather weird Friday night in the Premier Inn Wembley Park( I know how to treat Mrs TTG) . I’ve been at a big birthday party of the wife of a great friend who is a great lad other than his affinity with the Chavs. I hope they win tomorrow and Giroud scores the winner from a Fabregas cross. It will be a very mundane game and if I watch it in the bedroom I won’t make more than 15 mins .
Last year we debunked the Chavs wearing their Double T shirts.
As for the Romford Pele I have met him twice. In the loo at Faro Airport just after Bolton had kicked us away from the title in 2003 and once in Langans. He is a quite delightful bloke but lives the Arsenal with a passion.
Next week will be a big one in the history of tge club. Ivan is putting all his chips on a new inexperienced but potentially very exciting team of Arteta, Alonso and Henry. It won’t last long if it goes well but it will be very interesting to observe.
TTG@8: Is our response to that proposed managerial trio supposed to be aah!
You say, It won’t last long if it goes well . What’s your thinking there?
TTG
If your triumverate is correct,that would gel with Jens being kept on after the cleanout.
Nothing but a winning mentality among that foursome.
NBN
Just touching upon the Orstien article
I think Wenger leaving will be a big wake up call. I know some supporters are speechless hearing that the transfer budget is only 50m.
Who ate all the pies I hear some say. ‘The new continental style structure’ now has to balance the books in order to increase the budget, if it means paying over the odds for the very best and sought after. This time the spotlight will not be on Arsene.
The new managers life span will slot in with all of the other managers whose careers are based on success. Indeed part of the emphasis will be to keep the cash cow going. The board have shown their stubbornness by inviting challenges from the supporters on many occasions.
I just hope things do not become ‘too’ rocky in days to come. As Wenger said, the values of the club are important.
Henry is said to only want the manager’s job and will not be part of the coaching staff.
Sounds like a good evening, ‘holic, and very much more entertaining than my recentish “evening with Paul Merson”. His act centred on what a useless gambler he was, and portrayed him as tragic rather than amusing.
Hope our ex-Arse chaps at Chelsea give United a rimming today, but seriously doubt it.
how difficult
could it be
to manage a football club
like Arsenal FC
King GT@11. It is a net £50 million so the new man/team will have to sell to give himself/themselves a decent buying budget.
Plenty in this bar have had suggestions over the past weeks and months for first-team players to be flogged off. The monks have been set to estimating transfer values based on things like the remaining value of their contract, age, experience, comparable players in their position, etc. A fire sale might depress individual prices and a bidding war, or a club with silly money coming in, raise them.
Some of the values below are unexpected (e.g. Mustafi, Ramsey, Mkhitaryan), but they are as the arithmetic came out. I also don’t think we have many players that we would be prepared to sell that a big-spending club would want to buy (we were sixth for a reason) so we can’t count on any silly money.
We’ll probably need to raise £100 million-150 million to fund the new keeper, centre back and DM we are reportedly seeking if we want to go top-drawer (ha! ha!). That would mean both adroit selling and a lot of it given the squad values.
You can assemble your own fire-sale list from the below.
£m
Aubameyang 70
Lacazette 62
Ozil 47
Xhaka 46
Bellerin 41
Mustafi 38
Ramsey 28
Mkhitaryan 26
Koscielny 20
Iwobi 19
Kolasinac 14
Chambers 14
Monreal 13
Welbeck 13
Holding 11
Elneny 9
Maitland-Niles 6
Cech 5
Mavropanos 4
Ospina 4
Jenkinson (on loan) 4
Asano (on loan) 2
Lucas (on loan) 1
Reine-Adelaide (on loan) 1
Akpom (on loan) 1
Campbell (on loan) 1
Martinez (on loan) 1
Wilshere (out of contract) 0
Cazorla (out of contract) 0
Clive@10: Arteta, Lehmann, Alonso and Henry: Alah!
Fire sale? From your list
Ozil 47 – (but nobody will take him)
Xhaka 46 – If we could get more than £20m for him, snatch their hands off
Bellerin 41 – Might be a player one day but we need the money
Mustafi 38 – Worse than Stepanovs
Ramsey 28 – running his contract down so off ye go.
Iwobi 19 – very average, like a slightly inferior Ox
Kolasinac 14 – Poor defender
Chambers 14 – Meh
Welbeck 13 – Makes Jon Walters look like Messi
Ospina 4 – Going anyway
Jenkinson (on loan) 4
Asano (on loan) 2
Lucas (on loan) 1
Reine-Adelaide (on loan) 1
Akpom (on loan) 1
Campbell (on loan) 1
Martinez (on loan) 1
NBN
My understanding from what the Ornacle was saying was that the 3 main targets are:
Goal Keeper – Bernd Leno (Bayer Leverkusen)
Defender – Sokratis Papastathopoulos (Borussia Dortmund)
Midfielder- Jean Michael Seri (Nice)
All said to be around 75m which we are trying to get for around 50m.
Otherwise that will require us to raise 25m.
Surely the sales of Campbell and Perez could secure this without upsetting the squad too much. After all, Wenger did say that the squad only needed 2-3 signings (and possibly a kick up the deriare) . This may mean another loan spell for Martinez and possibly one for Macey if Ospina stays.
Failing that, somebody might retract to 1 in 1 out setting us back again!!
If we could really get £20m for
Kos we should sell him immediately.
Plus Jenks, Lucas and Campbell.
A CB and a DM are essential.
Apart from that it’s buy to upgrade
as usual and then sell in the position
we’ve upgraded on
Nice to see United lose in a game as awful as most of us feared/ expected.
I read a good article le yesterday explaining what the economics of a £50 m. budget really are with spread payments and the change in the wage. bill. It pointed out that we have only twice spent more than this in our history and with the amortisation in our accounts it suggests we can probably buy six players of various amounts if we sell some of our bid
high earners. Cynic is clearly not impressed with the squad but we have Sanllehi flogging off the players and he is one of the best in the business at it and the feeding frenzy as the window gets into play inflated values ridiculously.
It was instructive to read this from BFG ‘s autobiography.
https://www.theguardian.com/football/2018/may/19/per-mertesacker-book-extract-arsenal-academy-manager
It e plains why he was such a good influence at the club which will continue in the Academy . I’m very positive about the new chapter. The club has not been brilliantly looked after in the past few years despite our regard for Arsene. He had too much power, didn’t delegate and needed fresher CIA hi g approached. Let’s see how the club changes before we criticise
Sorry the spillchucker. Fresher coaching approaches it should say
How hilarious that Mourinho lost! Especially as Alan Sheared called him a serial winner when United beat the Spuds in the semi final. Someone shouldve pointed out to the thick twit that there was a mother game to play.
TTG
I think we have some really good players in the squad a few who lost their way a bit and others who we really need to ship out. It all makes for a pretty hectic summer at the club.
I’m still not sure about Arteta though. I really do not get the thinking. It’s so risky.
Cynic is clearly not impressed with the squad
This is because I have seen them play 🙂
I think one of the issues with our transfers in the past is that we tended not to strengthen but weaken and then slowly try to replace. Not always necessarily with the same quality.
Granted, last seasons transfer dealings albeit split between two transfer windows was an improvement on previous dealings possibly signifying that our new structure, which Arsène help to build could be working.
Saying that, the summer transfer window is set to close before the season starts. This will mean that our previous approach of leaving transfers until the eleventh hour could be firmly tested.
Being at the forefront of inivative football to then going to a stage where we are playing catch up, has been difficult for some supporters to digest especially those who have only known us ‘post Wenger’.
Ivan Gazidis has gone from a ‘catalyst for change’ to being ‘bold’ about selecting a successor for Arsene within a year. These are strong statements which need backing up. Above all the club need to be transparent with the supporters as without the ‘buy in’ these bold caralystic changes are at risk of backfiring.
“Catalyst” and “Bold” makes him sound like a 1970s washing powder commercial starring Joe Baker.
Not THAT Joe Baker, the other one.
Ivan Gazidis is looking for a yes man, as for someone in that position to have little influence on the team under AW would have bothered him.
Arteta will be the yes man he is looking for, first management job is Arsenal ? Of course he will say yes in all the right places. I don’t get it, how is Arteta the answer to putting our club back on its feet.
A very experienced manager would come struggle to come in a deliver success quickly let alone a man with NO management experience. I will back him and get behind the team but in fairness to him this isn’t his fault. Who in his position wouldn’t take the job !!!
However we have 22 years of ingrained AW management and attitudes to change and that’s why it would take a very strong experienced manager to take the helm. If he comes in throwing his weight about with no instant respect from the players it will just implode. The likes of Anchelotti would get that instant respect and I do not believe Arteta would.
So Gazidis can get his yes man and watch what has been built crumble, I really hope I am totally wrong about this appointment if it happens *which it sounds like it will*
I will delight in eating the most humble pie if he comes in and wins the league by 55 points in his first season with Ozil completing the most tackles and track backs in PL history.
So fingers crossed these concerns are the ramblings of a mad man.
Next year’s kit is shit.
Cheery quote of the evening:
Scholes on Alexis:
“His performances, well they have to improve. They can’t get any worse to be honest with you.”
Have to agree with you on the new kit, Cynic
Red shirt, white sleeves. It is not difficult.
TTG@20: Thanks for the Mertesacker link. Reveals a surprising conservatism among younger Arsenal players. Surprising given how AW was meant to have brought an innovative attitude to the club. Sounds as if the BFG could be a force for change at the Academy. If he keeps the youngsters injury-free and with the habits to stay that way into their first-team careers that will be success in itself. I also wonder where Mertesacker stands in the future Arsenal manager stakes.
Take your point about the economics of a $50 million transfer kitty. It is always all about the cash flow.
With regard to the new manager, it looks like the fat lady has yet to start singing; Unai Emery is between 9/4 and 5/4 for the job, and Arteta is now between 4/9 and 8/11.
Emery (no relation to Dick) would certainly bring both more prestige and experience.
Dorset, If these new odds prove to be “correct” then it could be proof that one thing is true, that the bookies do not after all select the new manager. Almost a reason to be against Arteta in itself.
Just read the Mertesacker article, and it is very interesting. Explains a lot about the failure of some players to improve. The four players who did attend the yoga sessions along with Mertesacker were among the most consistent performers. Coincidence? If they were only working half time at London Colney because they were on their cellphones the rest of the time, no wonder it looked like they were sleep-walking through the games.
Dorset Mick
Ooh you are awful ……but I like you ?
TTG, you’re not so bad yourself!
It’s certainly priced up as a two horse race, with very little in it. It’ll probably be Brendan then!
Sad to hear Santi is being released but not unexpected. Best player we had in our current squad by a long way.
I’ve had several messages about Emery and he appears to be the man that will step into the job. I feel a sense of disappointment only because I thought the upside with Arteta might be sensational . Emery did a great job at Seville but if they were going to go for someone in France I think Jardim may be better as he brought Monaco through on a fraction of the resources PSG had and I still remember how PSG caved in to Barca at the Nou Camp. But Emery received my full backing and I wish him well.
Ornstein has spoken:
Unai Emery set to be appointed new Arsenal manager replacing Arsene Wenger
https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/44203679
If the rumours about AW going into the C-suite at PSG have anything to them, perhaps it will turn out like the Mkhitaryan for Sanchez swap where we get the better end of the exchange.
TTG@38: Did the board get cold feet once the mixed reaction to Arteta among fans became known, or were they always flying a kite to see what the fan reaction would be?
The Independent’s take is that Arteta didn’t want to be a yes man to the ruling trinity.
https://www.independent.co.uk/sport/football/premier-league/arsenal-manger-mikel-arteta-unai-emery-negotiations-arsene-wenger-replacement-a8362396.html
A bit of bottle for someone who has never managed, which may well hold him in good stead when he eventually does.
Unai Emery
wrong
F*cK!
Glad it’s someone with a winning background as a manager rather than a total rookie.
http://nostalgiacentral.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/dickemery6.jpg
Get your bets on Vieira to take over in a couple of years.
hey emery where’d ya get that unai?
right down on the beach, silly. why?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RmuLuJu991E
Ned
I think Arteta didn’t like the way the transfer system worked or the budget. Apparently Emery has really impressed the board. I think Sanllehi has driven this one
From what I’ve been hearing, the board couldn’t give Arteta the assurance that he would have the final say on transfers. Unai Emery is a coach pure and simple, and doesn’t concern himself with transfers. And according the French journo on the radio, would be more prepared to work with what he has; so the board are onto a winner there!
Emery favours the high-intensity, high-pressing game that brought him success with Sevilla, so we should expect a huge shake up for the players, especially those who have been going through the motions lately.
“Apparently Emery has really impressed the board”
with whAT?
how many times he can nod in one minute?
ssy@48, maybe four trophies in two years at psg, and 3 europa league trophies before that? maybe?
If we can’t get the really big names, then Emery will just have to do.
His appointment wouldn’t be the most exciting thing to happen in years but he will have to do for a couple of years while someone like Arteta earns his stripes elsewhere.
Let’s not be negative about Emery he has done very well at Sevilla and Valencia and his teams play good football. He out-thought Klopp in the Europa League Final and although they lost in the Nou Camp they did beat Barca 4-0 in the first leg.
I think the people who input into this carried out a pretty thorough process and the Premier choice in Allegri would not come . It will be an improvement on Arsene’s last years and this man is a real Coach who can work in our system which has two big- hitters working alongside him
camp nou
maybe?
I was going to write something tonight, but events have overtaken me and I have been listening to R5L for much of the evening. There should be an announcement tomorrow perhaps, given the detail in the Ornstein announcement. What a way to present a new manager to the supporters.
what a way indeed
@ 48 – He does a cracking impression of Gary Neville, apparently… 🙂
The word is, the board didn’t like that picture Arseblog posted of AW’s features melded into Arteta’s. 😉
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2n5N-78kfS0
Mind you, hiring a bloke who’s an expert in the Europa League signals a TOTAL LACK OF AMBITION
🙂
Kaveh Solekhol sounds like a cough mixture.
For those in the bar like me, a bit bemused at the sudden change in the expected new Coach,i have myself just fallen in.
Emery couldn’t be officially interviewed until after PSG finished their season at the w/end.
Whether there had been an earlier unofficial chat about his interest,i suppose we will never know.
But the delay until this week in the announcement of the new Coach,when everyone thought Arteta was a done deal last week, would indicate that Emery was always on the radar,and the Club were observing protocol in waiting till his Contract expired at PSG before inviting him for interview.
He did a fantastic job at both Valencia and Sevilla,punching above his weight against the money bags of Barca and Real,sound familiar, ??
Unfortunately for him the Egos and comfort zone and sense of entitlement among the playing group at PSG,were too much of a stretch even for him.
I like the cut of his cloth,and he will undoubtedly bring new ideas and fresh impetus into the Club.
He will be licking his lips at our front line attack,and i have great faith in our 2 new backroom guru’s to have the defensive players lined up to come in and get the back end in shape before the new season kicks off.
It’s going to be fascinating to see the make up of the first eleven for the opening game of the new EPL season in 81 days time on August 11th
So was Arteta our first choice but rejected the set up or thought it was too early for him? If so it feels a bit meh to be appointing a second choice.
Well I’ll be damned!
On a purely personal note, I backed him at 20/1 a week ago!
TTG@46. Thanks. And what you say @51 and Clive@60. Emery is an accomplished coach with a good track record. He may prove an excellent fit for lifting us from where we are now.
BB@47: That explains why the fitness and medical teams have been cleared out. And may imply Emery’s appointment is less a last minute thing than it seems.
Good job he doesn’t go by his full name, Unai Emery Etxegoien.
Nacho makes the Spain World Cup squad. So congrats to him.
Couple of random facts about the new manager. In the Basque language, Unai means shepherd, most suitable for our first team flock. Both his father and grandfather were professional goalkeepers, his grandfather twice winning the Spanish Cup in the 1920s with Real Union, now a third-division club. Emery didn’t follow the close family trade, but, like an uncle, was a midfielder in his playing days, most spent in the Spanish second division.
Clive @60
Very interesting post which explains the timing wry clearly. The only ITK journalist at Arsenal is Ornstein and he is a club mouthpiece. Arsenal trust the BBC but I think a lot of journos got this wrong .
Sadly social media gives a voice to many people who slagged off the potential Arteta appointment and now are saying that this is a less exciting pick than Arteta.
He has a very good CV and clearly impressed Gazidis and Sanllehi who will know a lot about him . I’m prepared to trust them….as supporters we have to
Long live the Basque shepherd.
Ned
Be interesting to check his defensive record in La Liga at Valencia and Sevilla.
Can the Monks advise. ??
Dorset Mick,
Hope your health is good.
very astute punt at 20/1.
The winnings should keep you in pints at the local watering hole for a while. !!
TTG
Let’s hope the Club can get our incoming transfers done quickly to give the new man a full pre season to work with them.
So Arsene @ Arsenal, is about been replaced @ the Emirates by Emery?!
Not a bad choice!
UTAD&AN!
Alas poor Lego,who would’ve been a
bold choice. But ok let’s see what the
new bloke can do.
Trust Ivan? Will I fuck.
oh boy
the greatest fuck up in the history of fuck ups
chicks & pricks
we give you………………..
…….five minutes to consider
or
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sj_oAV1vu1g
Unai
here is…
….
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lO8ZVSRbVN8
Clive@69: In all games, 253 goals conceded in 206 games at Sevilla and 260 in 220 at Valencia. In La Liga alone, 173 conceded in 133 matches at Sevilla and 182 conceded in 152 games at Valencia.
His record agains the two Spanish giants isn’t great (though whose is?): has won only two in 25 against Barcelona and five of 22 against Real.
I guess we can expect to see a full strength XI in the Europa League games then.
Wishing you all Emery Christmas.
Clive@69,
Not too bad, thanks, and the addition of 250 pints is always welcome!
I think the new fellow sounds ok, and he has previous with the odious turd Maureen.
According to radio reports, Arteta pulled out because he didn’t like the new management system in place, but how can that be when the key appointments have been in place for quite a while, and he would surely have been aware that things would be rather different at the club. John Cross believes the board became concerned at what the fans would think of if an untried head coach were to be appointed. The board taking the fans into consideration…hmm.
At 80
I’ll have to make sure to get your tips for Royal Ascot next month.
☺☺☺
Biscuit I think Arseblog has it spot on. Arteta didn’t say no. Gazidis bottled it again thinking about himself if Arteta as manager didn’t work out. So he flipped to Emery not because of views of fans but because it’s less of a risk. Bold my arse. And Arteta may come good as a manager somewhere else but I doubt we will ever see him in our dugout in the future. Emery, Emery give us a wave.
rethinking
reconsidering
my head is (re)spinning
THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU!
King Emery
Off wiv is ead
Emery’s Ammer
Emery Board
And other such headlines can be anticipated
I’m afraid he’ll be called Dick if it doesn’t work out. Sorry.
I think Arseblog has it spot on
I don’t think anyone in a position like Gazidis is in will have bottled it just because the fans might have had twitchy arses over Arteta, or because he would be under pressure if that didn’t work out.
The fan-arse was twitching like a bastard last summer and we still handed Wenger a new contract, which Gazidis had to front, even if he didn’t agree with it.
I just don’t believe it was Gazidis’ ultimate decision to make. He might have been using the press to push his agenda but I don’t think for a second that he’s bottled it under pressure.
He’s just pushed his man hard using the press and lost the battle.
Clive@82,
You’d be most welcome, but my luck tends to be in and out at the moment.
Fingers crossed that our bitch Hazel wins the first at Poole tonight…….
Good luck Mick
What box did is she in. ??
Don’t think i can get on at Poole
??.
Clive,
She’s in trap 2 in the 6.48, and should go well, albeit at a shortish price. We also have a similar modest share in her brother Pete, who we think could be quite good. You can see him at around 5:50 in this recent youtube feature: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=so4B8m_GZac&list=PL_Lgtk2EcTHLFItbe3xgMy84qt_wcBaO7&index=7
Joaquin on Emery
“He’s obsessed by football, it’s practically an illness… I worked with him
for three years. I couldn’t handle a fourth!”
so he’s a sick man
The point of changing managers was to be able to approach the future with greater optimism than we have been able to muster in some time. I think the club is positioning itself with this move to be able to do just that. Could be wrong but I would rather be wrong than be convinced that the club is doomed.
How is that for a ringing endorsement?
Apparently Emery blew the board away at his interview with his knowledge of our players, their strengths and weaknesses and how he could improve them. That was two weeks ago.
The furore and mythology about a last minute switch from Arteta is simply a result of the following sequence nicely analysed by @albrookshawAFC on Twitter
1) a rumour is reported
2) it turns out to be untrue
BUT
3) people try to explain the situation as if the original rumour was true.
Frankly the club has done well in the few weeks since AW announced his departure if the Emery appointment is true. Experienced coach with over 800 games in4 countries. Knows his onions. Has won stuff. Tactician, disciplinarian and committed to entertaining his fan base. Worth giving some time to this fella to get it right.
Tasks:
1) Re-sign or replace Rambo
2) get top 4
3) win the EL.
COYG
And, it goes without saying, sort out the damn defence.
Unai Emery, happy with that 🙂 experienced manager with a great coaching back ground.
Much preferred to Arteta
Whoever would have guessed that a clueless bunch of lightweights who know nothing about football (because it has been written, it must be true) have actually managed to conceive of a process that has identified a young coach with a pretty fair track record and now appear to be on course to appoint him as Arsenal’s new manager?
Can’t be true. Can’t happen in real life. Not when people are clueless about football and have probably never kicked a ball in anger, or even joy.
Good luck to you, Mr Emery. Keep winning titles and Europa Cups and you’ll do fine. (And maybe Mr Big Ears to keep Holic happy, he’s more demanding than me and I’ll be quite content with the former).
Professor Bath, where, oh where, in your list of tasks is a desire for some action on Mr Mustafi? Don’t the Dons need a SFG in the middle of their back four? (Before you comment to the contrary, we don’t need him at Dens Park, we’re much better catered for than that laddie).
His first task should be to sign a top class keeper; Butland would do, and then persuade Rambo and any other players out of contract who he wants to keep to sign an extension. I still don’t believe that the team needs massive investment bar a commanding defender and a quality midfielder.
Am I the only one who believes that the players are better than their performances suggest, and that with proper coaching and a more balanced team philosophy, there could be a significant improvement?
Biscuit@97. I am with you on that. If Emery can get just them consistently playing to their best ability, trophies will come.
As for strenghtening, I would be concerned that we don’t have depth at full/wing back. A utility defender in Chambers to cover Bellerin and a defensively suspect Kolasinac covering the 32-year old Nacho doesn’t inspire confidence. Mavropanos might be the dominant defender you are lookng for once Emery gets to work on him.
And if that isn’t laying it on a plate for one of you lurkers, I don’t know what is.
First ton of the post-Wenger era?
It couldn’t happen to a more deserving lurker.
Now what happened there? My@99 above was definitely @98 earlier and thus my @100 that was @99. These post-Wenger days are strange indeed.
Your graciousness bt8b deserves the reciprocation of a glass of what cheers you most on the bar.
Indeed, the ton calls for drinks all round. Where is Lars when you need him?
I can only think of divine intervention, Ned. 😉
2nd drink is on me.
U.E.A. (not you East Anglia) hooooooooooooray.
And thought the sub did a decentish job of the donkey work the other night, as any sub should. Although, understandably, what with him being a bit of a veteran nowadays, it took him a wee while to get up to speed.
U.T.A.
Some excellent posts
Summary
Well done Arsenal
Welcome Unai
Feck the negativity( I’ve been in Dublin today )
But the most important thing
Unai Emery is the fourth manager in the Premier League era to have both names beginning in vowels . Who are the other three?
Afael Enitez
Am Allardyche & Avid O’Leary
The usual fiver to Castle Ned will furnish the answer to TTG’s question….
Hint: The clubs involved are the neighbours, WBA and Wimbledon.
Bath, had I been able to post tonight your analysis would have been the basis of it.
Clearly we knew two weeks ago he was the one.
Someone, possibly ‘assisted’ by bookmakers, led the press a merry dance and the ITKs got caught in the crossfire.
I feel compelled to wait for the confirmation. Could there yet be a twist?
Ossie Ardilles would be one
Given Ornstein’s closeness to the club and reluctance to write until he thinks he knows with some certainty what is going on (which, of course, was what all good journalists did once upon a time), he wouldn’t have bigged up Arteta as he did unless someone at the club had given him reason to think Arteta was indeed the front runner.
I completely buy Bath’s thesis. Indeed, I don’t think AW would have been ushered out the door until his successor had been lined up. This has been an appointment long in the making.
Two to go, Bo’B.
https://www.theguardian.com/football/2018/may/22/arsenal-ivan-gazidis-unai-emery-mikel-arteta-new-mana
Very interesting read, this.
https://www.telegraph.co.uk/football/2018/05/22/unai-emery-not-arsenals-original-manager-shortlist/
And this. Who knows what to believe these days.
My original impression was that we were unprepared to replace AW. Nothing that has come to light has done anything to change that perception.
If these reports are to be believed, we were making it up as we went along and were just fortunate to stumble unto Unai Emery. Pure speculation, yes, but the way the whole process has been played out in the media leaves a lot to be desired.
Like earlier noted, Unai’s anticipated appointment doesn’t quite set the pulses racing but is different from what we’ve been used to.
If the stories about how fastidious,hard working and flexible Unai Emery is are true, we will be getting a real gem. The issues of dealing with major egos shouldn’t be a problem as there are no super stars in this team.
All in all, I’m warming more to this potential appointment daily and wish him the very best getting his ideas and dreams across.
COYG
Bath
Thnks for the insight into Emery’s interview,obviously had done his homework,something i was never familiar with during my schooldays.
Ned
thnks for the Valencia/Sevilla total goal stats,but could the Monks give us his individual season totals,both scored and conceded.
Just be interesting to know if he was more defensively organised than ours
DM
Pete looks a prospect listening to the Trainer,and the dogs certainly look very well provided for.
How did Hazel get on. ??
The Özil deal has been one of the high points of Gazidis’s nine and a half years at Arsenal
Christ on (several slices of) toast, what must the lows be like? 🙂
Barack
Correct with Ossie as Ned says
The other two aren’t easy
One managed Everton and one wore trademark wellingtons
Unai Emery has confirmed that ‘ he is proud to be part of the Arsenal family ‘ on his personal website.
For those wanting a very informative insight into our new manager,
there is an excellent profile of him on BBC Sport Football,by Julien Laurens.
After reading it,i am warming to him more and more.
Also it appears Emery’s preferred line up is 4-3-2-1,which will please at least one very vocal opponent in the bar,,that was never happy with the 3 at the back option.
https://images.performgroup.com/di/library/GOAL/bf/56/emery-site-leaks-arsenal-appointment_sbzcxkwapx0v18j624x7emjl4.jpg?t=-1982396085
TTG
Be very interesting to see how long a contract he has been offered by the Board.
If they are really serious about his appointment and are thinking about the long term future of the Club,then you would think it would be a 3 yr deal as a minimum.
Clive
I’ve read the Laurens piece and had much the same reaction as you. We have not recruited a lightweight. What many people are missing is that we have replaced Wenger with a man who was effectively the DOF at Barcelona, the man who fed the conveyor belt of talent that saw Dortmund overtake Bayern Munich for a time plus Emery. That’s a formidable com inaction and if it works we are much better off than we have been for about a dozen years
Clive
It’s two years with a further year option so I guess that’s three if all goes well. I agree that it needs to give him the chance to lay down his philosophy . I’m also volunteering to write his programme notes until his English improves
Ned,
The Norwegian bloke at Wimbledon….
er.. that’s all I’ve got.
Cilve@117:
La Liga games only (38-game seasons, except 2012-13, 19 matches)
Sevilla Goals for Goals against
2015-16 51 50
2014-15 71 45
2013-14 69 52
2012-13 35 26
Valencia
2011-12 59 44
2010-11 64 44
2009-10 59 40
2008-09 68 54
2007-08 41 45
OM@126: who would be Egil Olsen.
Another hint for the third one. In the only game he has managed against the Arsenal, he lost one-nil to a Danny Welbeck header.
EMerry is a sound choice. Far better than Arteta in terms of risk anyway.
He’s a bit like Jardim of Monaco and is very different to Wenger in many ways. Which I think will stand him in good stead.
He’s worked under a similar hierarchy at Seville is a good tactician gets the best out of the squad develops young players. He definitely wasn’t who I was hoping for but he is definitely a choice I am becoming increasingly happy with.
Fair play to the board. All the rubbish spouted in the media shows how clueless they are. Just like with transfer speculation it’s mainly bull shit.
Up the Arse
Oh my god. Even Stewart Robson thinks it’s a good choice.
This includes a comparison with our Premier League performances
Sevilla GF GA Arsenal GF GA
2015-16 51 50 65 36
2014-15 71 45 71 36
2013-14 69 52 68 41
2012-13 35 26 72 37
Valencia
2011-12 59 44 74 49
2010-11 64 44 72 43
2009-10 59 40 83 41
2008-09 68 54 68 37
2007-081 41 45 74 31
This might be easier to read
Sevilla GF:GA Arsenal GF:GA
2015-16 51:50 65:36
2014-15 71:45 71:36
2013-14 69:52 68:41
2012-13 35:26 72:37
Valencia
2011-12 59:44 74:49
2010-11 64:44 72:43
2009-10 59:40 83:41
2008-09 68:54 68:37
2007-08 41:45 74:31
Those numbers aren’t very encouraging
on the face of it.
Evil Olsen that was him……
Danny hasn’t got that many that I should
forget any but that one’s a blank.
I’ll leave it to the more able-memoried.
Thanks Ned – not too impressive those figures, but how do they compare to the seasons before and after his tenure?
It’s official – Emery is our manager
I’m at a party with the head of Comms at Arsenal tomorrow. That should be interesting.
Official on pravda.com https://www.arsenal.com/
Welcome, Dick.
Just don’t fuck it up.
Six permanent post-Chapman managers missing from the “Next Chapter” welcome video on .con, with four league titles and three FA Cups between them, but a caretaker manager, albeit a club legend, is included.
Oh dear Arsenal.
Actually it’s five missing, so it’s a case of Oh Dear Cynic 🙂
Clive@117,
Hazel finished third, leading until the finishing straight. It was a rough race, and she was about 12 metres behind her previous run. Fortunately it wasn’t my dough that forced her down to 11/10 fav!
I haven’t read anything about this appointment so has anything been said about Steve Bould?
If Emery is the sort of coach who loves to organise and drill a team, I would hope Bould is finally going to be allowed to coach and not just have to sit there like a mute Phil Neal.
I reckon he has a lot to pass on, if he’s allowed to stay and work with these slackers.
So it’s official, the man interviewed two weeks ago gets the job. All the rest had been media garbage??? Who would have thought that??
Funny enough, his stats are almost identical to Arsène’s when he joined.
Welcome Mr Emery. Let’s hope you are given the time, the resources and the support you need.
Rwanda.
Really?
https://www.arsenal.com/news/club-welcomes-visit-rwanda-new-partner
https://www.nytimes.com/2017/08/02/opinion/paul-kagame-rwandas-forever-president.html
It didn’t take long after Wenger’s departure for the “new Arsenal” values to emerge.
So from Arsene = Arsenal to Unai Emery = Emirates
Seemed amusing to me.
@145
Not to claim the ability to define Arsenal or Arsene Wenger’s values, but it seems odd to me, to associate the club with Rwanda. I do hope it has changed for the better since it was synonymous with genocide a short generation or so ago.
Marvelous sense of timing to coincide with the announcement of a new manager.
The three-year deal will also see ‘Visit Rwanda’ become our official Tourism Partner.
Fucked if you want to go to Margate then.
https://www.theguardian.com/football/live/2018/may/23/unai-emery-unveiled-as-new-arsenal-manager-live
The truth, live!
Ivan Gazidis: “I’m really delighted and excited to announce the new ehad coach. I know that came as a bit of a surprise, perhaops there were one or two rewrites necessary. But those who know won’t spek and those who speak won’t know. I’ll give you a little insight into the process. We formed a three-person committee of me, Sven Mislintat and Raul Sanllehi. We had some clear criteria: aggressive, entertaining football; personality that fitted with Arsenal’s values; also a record of developing players through detailed tactical instruction and also cultural demand, pushing players.
“We looked through and analysed on the basis that every coach in the world would be interested in this position. We don’t believe any position in world football is more attractive. We created an eight-person longlist. All of them were interested and took part in extensive, in-person interviews. None of them at any stage withdrew their interest. So we were in a fortunate position to make our first choice, and that’s what we did. Our first interviewee was conducted on 25th April, our last was conducted on 15th May and we interviewed Unai on 10th May. We made our unanimous recommendation to the board on 18th may, accompanied by a 100-page dossier. We then met with London members of our board on Monday this week. Unai and Raul and I flew to Atlanta and met Josh and Stan Kroenke and flew back on the red-eye last night.
“So why Unai Emery? I’ve followed Unai’s career very closely and he’s always ben on my radar screen. He’s got a fantastic record wherever he’s gone and his team’s improve over time. He’s a superb fit with the criteria I laid out. But it’s important to move this beyond the paper exercise and having taken third-person references it was very important to move to personal meetings. Unai was incredibly impressive, he came in extraordinary well prepared, he had an analysis of all of our individual players, their qualities and how he believes he can help them develop individually and collectively, and also detailed analysis of our off-field team. But this wasn’t a purely technical exercise. What also distinguished Unai was the chemistry between us and feeling for football in the room. His detail, hard work, love for football and will to win made us think this fit was exactly right.”
I hope Emery is given at least 3 years to prove his worth.
Up The Arse.
Visit Rwanda is actually on our shirts next season. FFS etc
Barack@135: The seasons before and after, as requested, in italics.
Sevilla GF:GA
2016-17 69:49
2015-16 51:50
2014-15 71:45
2013-14 69:52
2012-13 22:25 (19 games) v Emery’s 19 35:26
2011-12 48:47
Valencia
2012-13 67:54
2011-12 59:44
2010-11 64:44
2009-10 59:40
2008-09 68:54
2007-08 41:45
2006-07 57:42
Apparently Arsene’s advice to UE was ;
‘Sort out the defence’
No comment
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Rwanda’s genocide did end in 1994, bt8b. The country’s issue is that its international donors supporting post-genocide recovery have prioritised economic and social development, on which Rwanda has an impressive record, not least in spreading the wealth reasonably broadly by African nations’ standards. It also has the highest proportion of female parliamentarians in the world (61% in the lower house) and ranks as Africa’s third least corrupt country. See the .com press release for more bigging up of the economy.
However, the same progress cannot be said to have occurred with regards to political and civil rights. President Paul Kagame and his ruling party are unchallenged and unchallengable domestically, with all power revolving around Kagame verging on a personality cult.
This position is secured through the heavy-handed use of the security services to crack down on dissent and ruthless control of the media. Kagame expelled the BBC’s journalists in 2014 and banned its broadcasts following the airing of a documentary that was critical of him. And there have been allegations of extrajudicial killings by the security services of journalists and opposition politicians in exile. That Kagame was re-elected as president last August with 99% of the vote tells you pretty much all you need to know.
By all means, visit Rwanda, but be cautious what you say and to whom you say it.
(If this all strays too far from football, ‘Holic, by all means do the necessary.)