The Miracle Of Turf Moor!
May 11th, 2019 by 'holic
It is hard to believe another Premier League season comes to an end tomorrow. It feels like I’ve only seen half a dozen games. There have been tears and cheers. That’s what football does to us. Back in August if someone had offered us a mathematical chance of finishing fourth I think the general mood would have been good. I personally fancied a little more but my each-way punt on the Gunners in the league was lost long ago as Manchester City and Liverpool embarked on an impressive voyage of discovery.
So, this mathematical chance of dislodging the neighbours seems a hopeless task. It can’t be done, can it? Cast your mind back three years when we clinched the runner-up spot on the final day. Arsenal 4-0 Aston Villa. Newcastle United 5-1 Tottenham Hotspur. However unlikely it is there is a recent precedent.
What will complicate matters for both teams will be a likely desire to rotate with European Finals approaching. I’m not sure what to feel about that. We’ve yet to discover the real Unai Emery and this selection may give us a tiny bit more information about the make up of the man.
I’m an eternal optimist, extremely rose-tinted spectacles usually in place. I would start strong, see how the matches develop, and be prepared to hook key players when the unlikeliest pair of results fail to develop. Bernd Leno should be making his final appearance of the season barring an injury to Petr Cech. I don’t see either of them as being better than the other, rather that they are better than the other at certain aspects of their craft.
The back four is so much weaker without Laurent Koscielny, but he needs wrapping in cotton wool for Baku. Possibly Nacho Monreal too, his experience makes up for legs that are not getting any younger. A back three of Shkodran Mustafi, Sokratis Papastathopoulos, and Konstantinos Mavropanos are physically equipped to deal with a potential aerial barrage.
I would start Ainsley Maitland-Niles but he would be the first to hook if the miracle isn’t happening. Give Lucas Torreira a chance to recharge his batteries and have Matteo Guendouzi partner Granit Xhaka in the centre with Sead Kolasinac on the left.
The front three can include two more who could be withdrawn if needed. Perhaps Mesut Ozil and the golden boot seeking Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang. I’ll perhaps surprise you by saying I wouldn’t start Alexandre Lacazette, so critical to us at our best. Bring him on if we are four up with twenty minutes to go and Everton have taken the lead at the swamp. Give Eddie Nketiah a chance to run at that Burnley defence. It isn’t something they will have prepared for.
There. Simple this game, isn’t it? From a desk in a spare room. I wonder if I still have my Gideon somewhere. I feel we may need to invoke a higher power under the circumstances.
The ‘holic pound
No option. One bookie is offering 0-7 at 400/1. Now I grab that bible and pray Everton don’t let me down.
Tottenham Hotspur, it’s happening again. 😉
The ABW preview
Danny came good in the early hours  of the morning. Give the vampire a thumbs up in You Tube please. 🙂
Have a great one ‘holics.
83 Responses to “The Miracle Of Turf Moor!”
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If I were a bookmaker ‘holic I would give you better odds than 400-1 on that score but bonne chance. 😉
We just need to win 5-0 at Burnley and for Everton to do the neighbours 3-0 and fourth place is ours.
Channelling my inner cba here:
https://youtu.be/g26e89xV1HU
I’d love it if we did that! 🙂
Up the Arse!
I don’t fully get Unai Emery and I will be appalled if anyone who is likely to start in Baku is in the starting line-up for Burnley tomorrow. Imagine if Auba got injured and was out of the final. It would be utter folly. There is no possibility whatsoever of taking a Champions League spot by League position. It would be completely stupid to entertain it for a second.
The other thing I don’t understand about Emery is his plans for our best young players. Tomorrow is an absolute free hit for Willock, Mavropanos Nketiah and Saka to start. We are very short in midfield. Guendouzi and Elneny will not cut it in midfield but Guendouzi should play to see if he can register his first assist this season in the Premier League. Maybe we should think on that and the fact that Willock has scored three times in virtually no first team football. Chelsea , Tottenham and ourselves might all lose but so what. Let’s show some focus and ensure we win in Baku. 2-0 to Burnley
fingers toes teeth and eyes crossed
TTG
If it were up to me,i would field the under 23’s first eleven at Turf Moor.
Given the Clarets penchant for physical full blooded in your face thuggery, i don’t want the first team anywhere near the place.
Yet Unai in his Friday prezzer, indicated his desire to finish 5th above Utd,so we can expect some of those that travelled to Spain but weren’t in the run on side, to play from the start,with a strong bench as back up.
Also congrats to the Ladies who finished their season today with a 1- 0 win over former Champions Man City,with an 88th minute winner.
not in deepest darkest Donegal today
feel like a fish outta smartarsery
wouldn’t be a fan of fish
fishy
but i did see an enormous tattooed person
so
swings and roundabouts
not that they’d be allowed on
ball bearings aren’t magicians
remained about the same size me
herself harps on about her arse
and
i must admit it’s a horse of a
still got the face of an angel
speaking of wiggling arses
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=GFB-d-8_bvY
and wiggling geniuses
.
.
.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=h1J_DVutL-w
used to be The Sound of Young Scotland
no ponsy muso journalist will get the hilarity
good ones will chuckle
i think it’s a brilliant fuckin tune
sleaford mods
but with non-theoretical danger
might tip ‘hol’s bookie the nod
make it
or
not
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=nTtbRY5CuCE
A fine sunny preview to match
the afternoon weather here in
Osaka guvnor.
Hope the pound roars home,
but I must admit I wouldn’t
play any likely starters in
Baku either.
Though if we wanted to be
nice we could make Jenks
captain for the day.
Stan’s MLS team, the Colorado Rapids, have the worst start in MLS history (0-2-9). So we have that to look forward to.
Best of luck to Charlie Gilmour.
Hopefully he can find a club and
make a good career for himself.
I think Auba may well start and demand to himself, given he can win the golden boot. I think it would be wishful thinking to expect Emery to play a team full of kids.
I hope we beat Burnley, they’re a horrible team. They’ve morphed into a Pulis led Stoke type team of bloggers and Dyche (who ex players like Wright and Merson said should be manager of the Arse) has shown himself to be a sad bitter little Englander like Pulis and Alladyche !!
Cloggers not bloggers ffs!! 🙂
A very sunny preview which gives a glimmer of hope that the maths could be achieved but I’d err on the side of caution and go with a team sprinkled with youth and squad players plus BamBam who will without doubt be keen for at least a crack at the golden boot. I do hope that bet comes home, Guvna.
My guess at a line up
Leno
Lich Mustafi Mav Kola
Iwobi Guend Xhaka Mhki
Whillock
Auba
On another point.
I worry that the club is getting further and further away from not just the fans, but it’s old pros. Hopefully Edu will be joining us, but I wonder if the likes of Vieira and Grimandi at Nice and Overmars in Holland will be considered in the future for senior positions at the club, or we become like most other foreign owned franchises. Simply appointing various foreign coaches with no links or affinity to the club or fans.
Then again, if Freddie does a good job, would he ever be considered as 1st team coach?
Stan is a twat…
UTA
Until we threw our chance away last week, I had a scenario in my head where Theo came off the bench for Everton and killed Spurs in the last minute of the game.
And then we threw it all away, so I’ll just have to pin my hopes on a Walcott hat-trick. Which is more likely than us beating Burnley 7-0!
Thanks Holic,
for what Mr Coleman would call the penultimate last preview but one, for yet another season of fine writing.
Like Clive, I said some time ago that I would like to see the entire U23 team take on Burnley today. Even a safe and relatively relaxed Burnley will surely stir themselves one last time to try to kick us off the pitch.
However, it seems the danger lurks behind us as, if we finish sixth, we would have to qualify for the Europa League in July, which looks far from ideal. The flip side to that coin could be to let the U23s have the Europa League to themselves next season, and avoud that set of travails altogether. Not playing in Europe at all for one season didn’t seem to do Chelsea or Liverpool much harm.
Like the Guvnor said, football management is easy from your spare room.
Fingers crossed for your 400/1 bet here. That solves all the problems in one.
Goonerholic positivity max!
Em, I’m slightly more inclined to the pathway prescribed by TTG. The only thing the bookies are giving longer odds on this weekend is a Walcott hat trick at Spurs. He might get his big toe hurt if one of these big Tottnum chaps comes close to him then driving one of his Ferraris home will be a touch tricky.
I’ll be on the golf course.
Enjoy if you’re travelling or watching.
Love your optimism. Spent some time in the company of a very decent Spuds fan yesterday (his daughter plays for the same under 12s team as mine) and he admitted to being a little worried ! Will be listening to the radio this afternoon whilst doing a spot of DIY but just cannot see the ‘eight goal swing’ happening !
Shouldn’t be playing Auba. Fingers crossed.
I can understand resting players but come on if you play Gendouzi, Elneny and Iwobi together you are asking for trouble!
Bunch of thugs this Burnley lot
Get in, Uba!!!
Auba Boom
Thank you for the gift, Aubooom
Go on, Auba. Have another.
Report will be up tonight. At the final whistle I am off to the pub for a Sunday roast.
Auba Boom x 2
Get in, Uba!!! Again.2-0.
Get in Auba! Twice!
Guess we should have criticised Auba at the start of the season ?
1-2. Shit defending.
COME ON AUBA!
Get another one in!!!
COME ONnnnnn!!!!!!
Get another Auba…
Get in Walcott!
😀
Unbelievable miss Auba… 😀
What a miss by Auba!
Auba misses the easy one thumps the hard ones in typical Auba ?
THAT was a clearance ?
Where has this attack been hiding for the past five premiership fixtures?
Auba on fire; pity that we’ll be off for a fortnight or so.
At least Pool didn’t win the league.
Eddie! Well done!
Nketiah scores with the final kick of the match. Lucky. Auba unlucky Auba.
Not unlucky really, he’s missed so many sitters this year he should have been about ten goals clear.
That table is gutting. Should have walked away with third by about ten points!
Oh well.
Aubameyang has 31 goals this season in all competitions and with one big game to go. I would happily take 30 goals a season from anyone.
Good win but as others have said, 1 point in 12 a week or so ago was just poor. Third should have been wrapped up before today.
What you said is absolutely true about Auba, Cynic. He has been really good the last three or four matches and if he had played as well from the beginning of the season he would have been scored quite a few more goals even with all his misses.
I hope he doesn’t get poached by Real.
Cynic
EVERY striker in the league misses chances.
Auba shares the Golden Boot and has eight in the Europa League.He is a top striker.
I think your ire should be aimed at the prat Xhaka for his slap on March last week and virtually no assists all season and for being slow and unable to tackle. Aside from that and his lack of goals from open play he had a great season
Maybe Emery should have used Willock and Nketiah before
TTG
Well, here’s hoping Xhaka makes good on his desire to move on and fucks off this summer.
He really has been an underwhelming signing and, like Mustafi and Ozil, a massive waste of money.
And I agree Auba is a class act. All strikers miss sitters. They ain’t robots!!
He, like Lacazette and probably Leno too should not be on the end of fan stick, unlike others.
I haven’t seen the game, only the highlights on the Sky app. Not a bad result on which to end the season. Top 4 went west in those two home games against Palace and Brighton.
Criticism of Aubameyang missing sitters is totally misplaced. He’s always done that, throughut his career but scores enough to be a top striker. You’ve got to be in the right place at the right time even to miss sitters. Steve T is bang on the money.
TTG is equally on the money about Xhaka.
Exit door for Cech, Lichty, Jenkinson, Mustafi, Elneny, Xhaka, Mkhitarian, Welbeck, Ospina and sadly Ramsey.
Promote Willock, Nketiah and Nelson to starting positions more often. Sign a decent CB, a box-to-box midfielder and a winger. Find or promote young RB and LB cover.
This Technical Director role is a piece of cake.
Only an observation that Auba misses far easier chances than other leading strikers do. Not giving Auba stick; only sorry that he was so close to winning the golden boot instead of having to share it, and didn’t take it. My worry is whether we can keep him next season.
Every striker misses chances but I don’t think I have seen one miss so many “your granny could score that” chances since Bendtner. Open goals shanked wide, air shots from six yards..
It’s a valid criticism and I’m not having a go at him by making it, nor blaming him for anything. Apart from missing out on being the outright Golden Boot winner.
Certainly not for blowing fourth, although last week he missed one of THOSE chances, missed a penalty against Spurs etc etc.
Guv’nor@34: Right priorities. Bon appetit.
@55
Baff for TD!
I agree with Cynic @ 57 that it is valid to look at the quality of some chances Auba misses.
He is also a world class striker.
For me, I don’t like the heat of the moment reactions that have a go at him for missing a few sitters without acknowledging that that is part and parcel of what he is like as a player. He also scores a lot of goals, and some of them from nowhere.
We ended with a win. Git fifth.
Utd lost anyway.
On to Baku!
Got fifth. Ahem.
I didn’t think Willock looked at all out of place today. Guendouzi had his best game for months, although some of his passing was sloppy, especially early on. The defence looked so much sounder after Kos had come on. And Iwobi, who can have a touch of the Walcott’s about him (all the talent below his head), had a very good second half.
GSD@60: Good point about Auba being able to score goals out of nothing. Every team needs that and we haven’t really had it since TH14.
GSD – Completely agree. His finishes the other night were outstanding, especially the first. It just baffles me that he misses so many he should score with his eyes shut.
Now we have to win the UEFA Cup, get CL football and then next season Emery can and should be judged. This season was always going to be difficult, after the big man left. You don’t change 22 years of doing things a certain way after only one season.
golden boot and yet city scored 22 times more then us
we should play with 12 next season then
4 – 5 – 3 ultra diamond formation
always liked that formation
oops
maybe not 5 in da middle, eh?
but
the more the merrier
and mike dean will not even notice that 12th fella till december
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zcDSG9KMzTo
Bakuuuuuuu
Mind youuuuuuuuu
where the hell is baku, john?
nobody knows
we do!!!!
Liverpool & Arsenal, proud European leaders
saw the big tattooed fucker again
fuckin acreage o ink on that cunt
theres a fuckin long skinny nose-ringed ear lobe disc bastard
somewhere
straining his wallet
planning his next conservatory
hoping the big dollop doesn’t die
BloB!
half institUtionalizEd
have you had a stroke , old bean
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aYItTxqTc38
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
perhaps playing
some of yer soft as shite
sharp as a sausage
oi
will revive you
.
?
moooooooooooooooooooooo