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The Miracle Of Turf Moor!

May 11th, 2019 by 'holic

It is hard to believe another Premier League season comes to an end tomorrow. It feels like I’ve only seen half a dozen games. There have been tears and cheers. That’s what football does to us. Back in August if someone had offered us a mathematical chance of finishing fourth I think the general mood would have been good. I personally fancied a little more but my each-way punt on the Gunners in the league was lost long ago as Manchester City and Liverpool embarked on an impressive voyage of discovery.

So, this mathematical chance of dislodging the neighbours seems a hopeless task. It can’t be done, can it? Cast your mind back three years when we clinched the runner-up spot on the final day. Arsenal 4-0 Aston Villa. Newcastle United 5-1 Tottenham Hotspur. However unlikely it is there is a recent precedent.

What will complicate matters for both teams will be a likely desire to rotate with European Finals approaching. I’m not sure what to feel about that. We’ve yet to discover the real Unai Emery and this selection may give us a tiny bit more information about the make up of the man.

I’m an eternal optimist, extremely rose-tinted spectacles usually in place. I would start strong, see how the matches develop, and be prepared to hook key players when the unlikeliest pair of results fail to develop. Bernd Leno should be making his final appearance of the season barring an injury to Petr Cech. I don’t see either of them as being better than the other, rather that they are better than the other at certain aspects of their craft.

The back four is so much weaker without Laurent Koscielny, but he needs wrapping in cotton wool for Baku. Possibly Nacho Monreal too, his experience makes up for legs that are not getting any younger. A back three of Shkodran Mustafi, Sokratis Papastathopoulos, and Konstantinos Mavropanos are physically equipped to deal with a potential aerial barrage.

I would start Ainsley Maitland-Niles but he would be the first to hook if the miracle isn’t happening. Give Lucas Torreira a chance to recharge his batteries and have Matteo Guendouzi partner Granit Xhaka in the centre with Sead Kolasinac on the left.

The front three can include two more who could be withdrawn if needed. Perhaps Mesut Ozil and the golden boot seeking Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang. I’ll perhaps surprise you by saying I wouldn’t start Alexandre Lacazette, so critical to us at our best. Bring him on if we are four up with twenty minutes to go and Everton have taken the lead at the swamp. Give Eddie Nketiah a chance to run at that Burnley defence. It isn’t something they will have prepared for.

There. Simple this game, isn’t it? From a desk in a spare room. I wonder if I still have my Gideon somewhere. I feel we may need to invoke a higher power under the circumstances.

The ‘holic pound

No option. One bookie is offering 0-7 at 400/1. Now I grab that bible and pray Everton don’t let me down.

Tottenham Hotspur, it’s happening again. 😉

The ABW preview

Danny came good in the early hours  of the morning. Give the vampire a thumbs up in You Tube please. 🙂

Have a great one ‘holics.

Posted in match preview | 83 Drinks

83 Responses to “The Miracle Of Turf Moor!”

  1. on 11 May 2019 at 9:15 pm1bt8

    If I were a bookmaker ‘holic I would give you better odds than 400-1 on that score but bonne chance. 😉

  2. on 11 May 2019 at 9:30 pm2North Bank Ned

    We just need to win 5-0 at Burnley and for Everton to do the neighbours 3-0 and fourth place is ours.

    Channelling my inner cba here:

    https://youtu.be/g26e89xV1HU

  3. on 11 May 2019 at 9:30 pm3Dexter

    I’d love it if we did that! 🙂

    Up the Arse!

  4. on 11 May 2019 at 11:17 pm4TTG

    I don’t fully get Unai Emery and I will be appalled if anyone who is likely to start in Baku is in the starting line-up for Burnley tomorrow. Imagine if Auba got injured and was out of the final. It would be utter folly. There is no possibility whatsoever of taking a Champions League spot by League position. It would be completely stupid to entertain it for a second.
    The other thing I don’t understand about Emery is his plans for our best young players. Tomorrow is an absolute free hit for Willock, Mavropanos Nketiah and Saka to start. We are very short in midfield. Guendouzi and Elneny will not cut it in midfield but Guendouzi should play to see if he can register his first assist this season in the Premier League. Maybe we should think on that and the fact that Willock has scored three times in virtually no first team football. Chelsea , Tottenham and ourselves might all lose but so what. Let’s show some focus and ensure we win in Baku. 2-0 to Burnley

  5. on 11 May 2019 at 11:17 pm5can't be arsed

    fingers toes teeth and eyes crossed

  6. on 11 May 2019 at 11:50 pm6Goonersince54

    TTG
    If it were up to me,i would field the under 23’s first eleven at Turf Moor.
    Given the Clarets penchant for physical full blooded in your face thuggery, i don’t want the first team anywhere near the place.
    Yet Unai in his Friday prezzer, indicated his desire to finish 5th above Utd,so we can expect some of those that travelled to Spain but weren’t in the run on side, to play from the start,with a strong bench as back up.
    Also congrats to the Ladies who finished their season today with a 1- 0 win over former Champions Man City,with an 88th minute winner.

  7. on 12 May 2019 at 1:47 am7can't be arsed

    not in deepest darkest Donegal today
    feel like a fish outta smartarsery

    wouldn’t be a fan of fish

    fishy

    but i did see an enormous tattooed person
    so

    swings and roundabouts

    not that they’d be allowed on

    ball bearings aren’t magicians

  8. on 12 May 2019 at 1:54 am8can't be arsed

    remained about the same size me
    herself harps on about her arse
    and
    i must admit it’s a horse of a

  9. on 12 May 2019 at 1:56 am9can't be arsed

    still got the face of an angel

  10. on 12 May 2019 at 2:00 am10can't be arsed

    speaking of wiggling arses

    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=GFB-d-8_bvY

    and wiggling geniuses

  11. on 12 May 2019 at 2:16 am11can't be arsed

    .
    .
    .
    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=h1J_DVutL-w
    used to be The Sound of Young Scotland
    no ponsy muso journalist will get the hilarity
    good ones will chuckle

  12. on 12 May 2019 at 2:30 am12can't be arsed

    i think it’s a brilliant fuckin tune

  13. on 12 May 2019 at 2:37 am13can't be arsed

    sleaford mods
    but with non-theoretical danger

    might tip ‘hol’s bookie the nod

    make it
    or
    not

  14. on 12 May 2019 at 2:54 am14can't be arsed

    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=nTtbRY5CuCE

  15. on 12 May 2019 at 7:03 am15OsakaMatt

    A fine sunny preview to match
    the afternoon weather here in
    Osaka guvnor.
    Hope the pound roars home,
    but I must admit I wouldn’t
    play any likely starters in
    Baku either.

  16. on 12 May 2019 at 7:05 am16OsakaMatt

    Though if we wanted to be
    nice we could make Jenks
    captain for the day.

  17. on 12 May 2019 at 7:06 am17ecg

    Stan’s MLS team, the Colorado Rapids, have the worst start in MLS history (0-2-9). So we have that to look forward to.

  18. on 12 May 2019 at 8:21 am18OsakaMatt

    Best of luck to Charlie Gilmour.
    Hopefully he can find a club and
    make a good career for himself.

  19. on 12 May 2019 at 8:29 am19Dexter

    I think Auba may well start and demand to himself, given he can win the golden boot. I think it would be wishful thinking to expect Emery to play a team full of kids.

    I hope we beat Burnley, they’re a horrible team. They’ve morphed into a Pulis led Stoke type team of bloggers and Dyche (who ex players like Wright and Merson said should be manager of the Arse) has shown himself to be a sad bitter little Englander like Pulis and Alladyche !!

  20. on 12 May 2019 at 8:30 am20Dexter

    Cloggers not bloggers ffs!! 🙂

  21. on 12 May 2019 at 8:37 am21bathgooner

    A very sunny preview which gives a glimmer of hope that the maths could be achieved but I’d err on the side of caution and go with a team sprinkled with youth and squad players plus BamBam who will without doubt be keen for at least a crack at the golden boot. I do hope that bet comes home, Guvna.

  22. on 12 May 2019 at 9:25 am22Dexter

    My guess at a line up

    Leno
    Lich Mustafi Mav Kola
    Iwobi Guend Xhaka Mhki
    Whillock
    Auba

    On another point.
    I worry that the club is getting further and further away from not just the fans, but it’s old pros. Hopefully Edu will be joining us, but I wonder if the likes of Vieira and Grimandi at Nice and Overmars in Holland will be considered in the future for senior positions at the club, or we become like most other foreign owned franchises. Simply appointing various foreign coaches with no links or affinity to the club or fans.

    Then again, if Freddie does a good job, would he ever be considered as 1st team coach?

    Stan is a twat…

    UTA

  23. on 12 May 2019 at 9:55 am23Cynic

    Until we threw our chance away last week, I had a scenario in my head where Theo came off the bench for Everton and killed Spurs in the last minute of the game.

    And then we threw it all away, so I’ll just have to pin my hopes on a Walcott hat-trick. Which is more likely than us beating Burnley 7-0!

  24. on 12 May 2019 at 10:52 am24Trev

    Thanks Holic,

    for what Mr Coleman would call the penultimate last preview but one, for yet another season of fine writing.

    Like Clive, I said some time ago that I would like to see the entire U23 team take on Burnley today. Even a safe and relatively relaxed Burnley will surely stir themselves one last time to try to kick us off the pitch.

    However, it seems the danger lurks behind us as, if we finish sixth, we would have to qualify for the Europa League in July, which looks far from ideal. The flip side to that coin could be to let the U23s have the Europa League to themselves next season, and avoud that set of travails altogether. Not playing in Europe at all for one season didn’t seem to do Chelsea or Liverpool much harm.

    Like the Guvnor said, football management is easy from your spare room.

    Fingers crossed for your 400/1 bet here. That solves all the problems in one.

  25. on 12 May 2019 at 11:44 am25iBtM

    Goonerholic positivity max!

    Em, I’m slightly more inclined to the pathway prescribed by TTG. The only thing the bookies are giving longer odds on this weekend is a Walcott hat trick at Spurs. He might get his big toe hurt if one of these big Tottnum chaps comes close to him then driving one of his Ferraris home will be a touch tricky.

    I’ll be on the golf course.

    Enjoy if you’re travelling or watching.

  26. on 12 May 2019 at 11:46 am26New Day Rising

    Love your optimism. Spent some time in the company of a very decent Spuds fan yesterday (his daughter plays for the same under 12s team as mine) and he admitted to being a little worried ! Will be listening to the radio this afternoon whilst doing a spot of DIY but just cannot see the ‘eight goal swing’ happening !

  27. on 12 May 2019 at 3:00 pm27ksn

    Shouldn’t be playing Auba. Fingers crossed.

  28. on 12 May 2019 at 3:34 pm28ATG

    I can understand resting players but come on if you play Gendouzi, Elneny and Iwobi together you are asking for trouble!

  29. on 12 May 2019 at 4:11 pm29gedo

    Bunch of thugs this Burnley lot

  30. on 12 May 2019 at 4:11 pm30ksn

    Get in, Uba!!!

  31. on 12 May 2019 at 4:11 pm31gedo

    Auba Boom

  32. on 12 May 2019 at 4:12 pm32Gunner_KS

    Thank you for the gift, Aubooom

  33. on 12 May 2019 at 4:13 pm33bt8

    Go on, Auba. Have another.

  34. on 12 May 2019 at 4:21 pm34Goonerholic

    Report will be up tonight. At the final whistle I am off to the pub for a Sunday roast.

  35. on 12 May 2019 at 4:22 pm35gedo

    Auba Boom x 2

  36. on 12 May 2019 at 4:22 pm36ksn

    Get in, Uba!!! Again.2-0.

  37. on 12 May 2019 at 4:23 pm37ATG

    Get in Auba! Twice!

  38. on 12 May 2019 at 4:24 pm38Gunner_KS

    Guess we should have criticised Auba at the start of the season ?

  39. on 12 May 2019 at 4:24 pm39ksn

    1-2. Shit defending.

  40. on 12 May 2019 at 4:25 pm40BB

    COME ON AUBA!

    Get another one in!!!

    COME ONnnnnn!!!!!!

  41. on 12 May 2019 at 4:26 pm41BB

    Get another Auba…

  42. on 12 May 2019 at 4:28 pm42BB

    Get in Walcott!

    😀

  43. on 12 May 2019 at 4:33 pm43BB

    Unbelievable miss Auba… 😀

  44. on 12 May 2019 at 4:34 pm44ksn

    What a miss by Auba!

  45. on 12 May 2019 at 4:34 pm45ATG

    Auba misses the easy one thumps the hard ones in typical Auba ?

  46. on 12 May 2019 at 4:36 pm46Gunner_KS

    THAT was a clearance ?

  47. on 12 May 2019 at 4:42 pm47Bayonne Jean

    Where has this attack been hiding for the past five premiership fixtures?

    Auba on fire; pity that we’ll be off for a fortnight or so.

  48. on 12 May 2019 at 4:52 pm48ksn

    At least Pool didn’t win the league.

  49. on 12 May 2019 at 4:54 pm49gedo

    Eddie! Well done!

  50. on 12 May 2019 at 4:54 pm50ksn

    Nketiah scores with the final kick of the match. Lucky. Auba unlucky Auba.

  51. on 12 May 2019 at 4:57 pm51Cynic

    Not unlucky really, he’s missed so many sitters this year he should have been about ten goals clear.

    That table is gutting. Should have walked away with third by about ten points!

    Oh well.

  52. on 12 May 2019 at 5:21 pm52Steve T

    Aubameyang has 31 goals this season in all competitions and with one big game to go. I would happily take 30 goals a season from anyone.

    Good win but as others have said, 1 point in 12 a week or so ago was just poor. Third should have been wrapped up before today.

  53. on 12 May 2019 at 5:28 pm53ksn

    What you said is absolutely true about Auba, Cynic. He has been really good the last three or four matches and if he had played as well from the beginning of the season he would have been scored quite a few more goals even with all his misses.

    I hope he doesn’t get poached by Real.

  54. on 12 May 2019 at 5:32 pm54TTG

    Cynic
    EVERY striker in the league misses chances.
    Auba shares the Golden Boot and has eight in the Europa League.He is a top striker.
    I think your ire should be aimed at the prat Xhaka for his slap on March last week and virtually no assists all season and for being slow and unable to tackle. Aside from that and his lack of goals from open play he had a great season

  55. on 12 May 2019 at 5:34 pm55TTG

    Maybe Emery should have used Willock and Nketiah before

  56. on 12 May 2019 at 5:49 pm56Dexter

    TTG
    Well, here’s hoping Xhaka makes good on his desire to move on and fucks off this summer.

    He really has been an underwhelming signing and, like Mustafi and Ozil, a massive waste of money.

  57. on 12 May 2019 at 5:51 pm57Dexter

    And I agree Auba is a class act. All strikers miss sitters. They ain’t robots!!

    He, like Lacazette and probably Leno too should not be on the end of fan stick, unlike others.

  58. on 12 May 2019 at 6:02 pm58bathgooner

    I haven’t seen the game, only the highlights on the Sky app. Not a bad result on which to end the season. Top 4 went west in those two home games against Palace and Brighton.

    Criticism of Aubameyang missing sitters is totally misplaced. He’s always done that, throughut his career but scores enough to be a top striker. You’ve got to be in the right place at the right time even to miss sitters. Steve T is bang on the money.

    TTG is equally on the money about Xhaka.

    Exit door for Cech, Lichty, Jenkinson, Mustafi, Elneny, Xhaka, Mkhitarian, Welbeck, Ospina and sadly Ramsey.

    Promote Willock, Nketiah and Nelson to starting positions more often. Sign a decent CB, a box-to-box midfielder and a winger. Find or promote young RB and LB cover.

    This Technical Director role is a piece of cake.

  59. on 12 May 2019 at 6:08 pm59ksn

    Only an observation that Auba misses far easier chances than other leading strikers do. Not giving Auba stick; only sorry that he was so close to winning the golden boot instead of having to share it, and didn’t take it. My worry is whether we can keep him next season.

  60. on 12 May 2019 at 6:19 pm60Cynic

    Every striker misses chances but I don’t think I have seen one miss so many “your granny could score that” chances since Bendtner. Open goals shanked wide, air shots from six yards..

    It’s a valid criticism and I’m not having a go at him by making it, nor blaming him for anything. Apart from missing out on being the outright Golden Boot winner.

    Certainly not for blowing fourth, although last week he missed one of THOSE chances, missed a penalty against Spurs etc etc.

  61. on 12 May 2019 at 6:21 pm61North Bank Ned

    Guv’nor@34: Right priorities. Bon appetit.

  62. on 12 May 2019 at 6:58 pm62Gunnersaurus Stunt Double

    @55

    Baff for TD!

  63. on 12 May 2019 at 7:04 pm63Gunnersaurus Stunt Double

    I agree with Cynic @ 57 that it is valid to look at the quality of some chances Auba misses.

    He is also a world class striker.

    For me, I don’t like the heat of the moment reactions that have a go at him for missing a few sitters without acknowledging that that is part and parcel of what he is like as a player. He also scores a lot of goals, and some of them from nowhere.

  64. on 12 May 2019 at 7:07 pm64Gunnersaurus Stunt Double

    We ended with a win. Git fifth.

    Utd lost anyway.

    On to Baku!

  65. on 12 May 2019 at 7:08 pm65Gunnersaurus Stunt Double

    Got fifth. Ahem.

  66. on 12 May 2019 at 7:11 pm66North Bank Ned

    I didn’t think Willock looked at all out of place today. Guendouzi had his best game for months, although some of his passing was sloppy, especially early on. The defence looked so much sounder after Kos had come on. And Iwobi, who can have a touch of the Walcott’s about him (all the talent below his head), had a very good second half.

  67. on 12 May 2019 at 7:13 pm67North Bank Ned

    GSD@60: Good point about Auba being able to score goals out of nothing. Every team needs that and we haven’t really had it since TH14.

  68. on 12 May 2019 at 7:24 pm68Cynic

    GSD – Completely agree. His finishes the other night were outstanding, especially the first. It just baffles me that he misses so many he should score with his eyes shut.

  69. on 12 May 2019 at 7:26 pm69Dexter

    Now we have to win the UEFA Cup, get CL football and then next season Emery can and should be judged. This season was always going to be difficult, after the big man left. You don’t change 22 years of doing things a certain way after only one season.

  70. on 12 May 2019 at 7:42 pm70Silly Second Yella

    golden boot and yet city scored 22 times more then us

    we should play with 12 next season then

    4 – 5 – 3 ultra diamond formation

    always liked that formation

  71. on 12 May 2019 at 7:47 pm71Silly Second Yella

    oops

    maybe not 5 in da middle, eh?

    but

    the more the merrier

  72. on 12 May 2019 at 7:54 pm72Silly Second Yella

    and mike dean will not even notice that 12th fella till december

  73. on 12 May 2019 at 8:03 pm73Silly Second Yella

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zcDSG9KMzTo

  74. on 12 May 2019 at 8:06 pm74Silly Second Yella

    Bakuuuuuuu

    Mind youuuuuuuuu

  75. on 12 May 2019 at 8:11 pm75Silly Second Yella

    where the hell is baku, john?

    nobody knows

    we do!!!!

  76. on 12 May 2019 at 8:15 pm76Silly Second Yella

    Liverpool & Arsenal, proud European leaders

  77. on 12 May 2019 at 8:17 pm77can't be arsed

    saw the big tattooed fucker again
    fuckin acreage o ink on that cunt

    theres a fuckin long skinny nose-ringed ear lobe disc bastard
    somewhere
    straining his wallet
    planning his next conservatory
    hoping the big dollop doesn’t die

  78. on 12 May 2019 at 8:18 pm78Silly Second Yella

    BloB!

  79. on 12 May 2019 at 8:20 pm79Silly Second Yella

    half institUtionalizEd

  80. on 12 May 2019 at 8:22 pm80can't be arsed

    have you had a stroke , old bean

  81. on 12 May 2019 at 8:22 pm81Silly Second Yella

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aYItTxqTc38

  82. on 12 May 2019 at 8:22 pm82Goonerholic

    >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

  83. on 12 May 2019 at 8:25 pm83can't be arsed

    perhaps playing
    some of yer soft as shite
    sharp as a sausage
    oi
    will revive you
    .
    ?
    moooooooooooooooooooooo

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